Author's Note:

Almost all my exams are over. The admission tests were really crazy. Regardless, I am trying to get 'English Literature'. Is there anybody among you who belongs to the 'Department of English' one way or another? Let me know! Anyways, I really hope I can get this. Please, please, pray for me!

I have tons of other interesting stories. Check them out in my profile. Just in case this site dies: I have an AO3 account— same username and profile picture.

I can't believe that Crunchyroll gave only one spot to Re:Zero. Man, they really hate the show, right? I mean most people do watch Re:Zero via different media. But still, giving 'Frieren:Beyond Journey's End' and 'Dan Dan Dan', 'Demon Slayer' and many others so many spots... Go and vote for Re:Zero folks!

Regardless, these biased nominations mean nothing to us true fans. To us, Re:Zero is peak.

Oh, on another note: I have a 'Frieren Beyond Journey's End' and a 'Re:Zero' crossover and a SateBaru fic ready. I am piling up stories and when I am busy with studies, I'll publish them one by one.

Clothes And Tastes!

Subaru, feeling a mix of curiosity and boredom, decided it was time to crack the mystery of the twin maids. They were like matching ice sculptures—beautiful but cold, and somehow managing to make her feel like a pebble in a palace.

After wandering around for a bit, Subaru found them in the kitchen. Ram was wiping down a counter with the intensity of someone scrubbing away their disdain for humanity, while Rem was focused on chopping vegetables with the precision of a serial killer.

"Yo, ladies!" Subaru called out, leaning casually against the doorway, trying to seem friendly. "What's cookin'? And don't say me, 'cause I'm already hot!"

Ram barely spared her a glance before returning to her cleaning. "Is there something you require, Honored Guest?"

Subaru blinked, thrown off by the formality. "Uh, yeah, actually. I was hoping to chat, y'know? Get to know my fabulous hosts a little better."

Rem paused her chopping and looked up, her expression unreadable. "It is our duty to serve, not to socialize."

"Ouch." Subaru clutched her chest dramatically. "That one stung, Rem. Right in the heart."

Ram sighed, finally turning to face her. "If you're so desperate for attention, perhaps Emilia-sama would be a better audience for your antics. We are quite busy."

"Busy? You're cleaning a counter, and she's chopping veggies! This isn't exactly high-stakes stuff," Subaru shot back, grinning.

Rem's hands froze mid-chop. "The quality of the food and cleanliness of the manor reflect directly on Roswaal-sama and Emilia-sama. It is not something to take lightly."

"Alright, alright, I get it," Subaru said, raising her hands in mock surrender. "You two are pros. But come on, you've gotta loosen up a little. Don't you ever just… have fun?"

"Fun?" Ram repeated, her tone dripping with disdain. "We are not jesters, Honored Guest."

Subaru smirked. "Well, you could've fooled me with that sarcasm. You're a natural."

Ram's eyes narrowed, but she said nothing.

Subaru turned to Rem, who seemed slightly less intimidating. "What about you, Rem? What do you do for fun? Hobbies? Secret talents? Hidden stash of snacks you don't share with your sister?"

Rem blinked, as if the concept of 'fun' was a foreign language. "I… enjoy working."

Subaru stared at her, waiting for more. "That's it? Just… working?"

"Yes," Rem replied, completely serious.

Subaru threw her hands in the air. "You two are impossible! How are you even human?"

"We could ask the same of you," Ram quipped, her tone icy but with a hint of amusement.

"Touché," Subaru muttered, rubbing the back of her neck. She took a step closer to Rem, peering at her chopping board. "So, what're you making? And please don't say something fancy I can't pronounce."

Rem hesitated, as if debating whether to answer. "Soup."

"Soup?" Subaru repeated, tilting her head. "That's it? Just soup?"

"It is a complex recipe," Rem said defensively.

"Hey, I'm not judging. Soup's great. I just wasn't expecting something so… normal," Subaru said, leaning against the counter.

Ram crossed her arms, her gaze sharp. "Is there a reason you're hovering in the kitchen like an uninvited stray?"

Subaru grinned. "Aw, come on, don't be like that. I just wanted to bond with you guys! You're part of the squad now."

"Squad?" Ram repeated, raising an eyebrow. "We are maids. Not your 'squad.'"

Subaru shrugged. "Details. So, Rem, can I help with the soup? Or is that sacred maid territory?"

Rem looked genuinely startled by the offer. "You… want to help?"

"Sure! I'm a pro at, uh…" Subaru paused, realizing she had zero kitchen skills. "Chopping stuff! Yeah, give me a knife, and I'll dice like a demon!"

Ram looked horrified. "Absolutely not. You would likely injure yourself and others."

"Rude, but fair," Subaru admitted.

Rem hesitated before handing Subaru a potato and a peeler. "You may peel this."

Subaru took the peeler like it was a holy sword. "You got it, chef!"

As she started peeling, the potato promptly slipped out of her hands and hit the floor.

Ram sighed loudly. "This is why we don't let amateurs into the kitchen."

"Hey, it's a slippery little guy!" Subaru protested, picking it up and rinsing it off. "Second time's the charm."

Rem watched her attempt to peel with a mixture of curiosity and mild horror. "Perhaps… you should simply observe."

"Wow, no faith in me, huh?" Subaru said, mock-offended. "Alright, fine, I'll just stand here and look pretty. Which, by the way, I'm amazing at."

Ram rolled her eyes, but there was the faintest twitch of a smile on her lips.

Despite their chilly demeanour, Subaru couldn't help but feel she was making progress. Small steps, she thought, glancing at Rem, who was quietly correcting the mess Subaru had made of the potato. Maybe one day, she'd crack through their icy exteriors. Until then, she'd settle for being the lovable nuisance in their lives.

Subaru had spent enough mornings watching her mom expertly tie her hair in various styles to know how to manage it herself. Even though she'd spent her whole life as a boy until recently, the muscle memory—or perhaps just sheer determination—kicked in. With a few clumsy but eventually successful attempts, she fashioned her long, vibrant red hair into two panda buns.

Looking at her reflection, she grinned. "Not bad for someone who had short hair yesterday. Now, let's get some clothes."

Ram, ever the picture of poise and irritation, was tasked with showing Subaru the manor's dressing room. The moment the door opened, Subaru was hit with the sight of racks upon racks of extravagant dresses, ornate robes, and tailored suits.

"Impressive," Subaru said, stepping inside and running her fingers along the luxurious fabrics. Then she frowned. "But, uh, not really my taste."

Ram's eyebrow twitched. "And what, may I ask, is your taste, Honored Guest?"

Subaru scratched the back of her head, avoiding eye contact. "Eh, forget it. There's no way anyone here knows how to make my kind of—"

That was as far as she got before Ram's eyes narrowed with the fire of a thousand suns. "Give me the design."

Subaru blinked. "What?"

"The design," Ram repeated, her voice firm. "If these clothes do not meet your expectations, draw what you desire."

"Oh, no, no," Subaru said, waving her hands defensively. "I didn't mean—"

"Do it."

Subaru sighed, realizing there was no escape from Ram's determination. She plopped down at a nearby desk, grabbed a sheet of paper, dipped a feather quill into ink, and began sketching.

"Alright, something badass," she muttered, chewing on her lip. "Let's start with a white overcoat—long, dramatic, the kind that flaps in the wind during cool hero moments. Jeans... yeah, jeans. Practical but stylish. And a cloak, because every hero needs to look mysterious. Casual wear? Hmm…"

She added a shirt, a t-shirt, shorts, and, after some hesitation, a skirt. "Why not? It's not like Ram is going to make it," she reasoned, shrugging.

When she was done, she handed the paper to Ram with a smug smile, fully expecting the maid to balk at the complexity—or outright laugh.

Ram, however, simply stared at the designs for a moment. Then, without a word, she turned on her heel, marched into the tailoring room, and shut the door behind her with a decisive click.

Subaru blinked at the closed door. "Wait, she's actually gonna try?!"

Shrugging, she decided to leave Ram to her madness and wandered off to find Rem. Poking around the kitchen, she found the younger twin busy preparing some kind of elaborate meal.

Subaru, of course, couldn't resist pestering her. "Hey, Rem, quick question. Do you ever get tired of chopping vegetables? Like, does your wrist just give up and cry for mercy?"

Rem looked up, her expression as blank as always. "If the Honored Guest is bored, there are plenty of books in the library."

Subaru grinned. "Nah, I prefer live entertainment. That's why I'm here, watching a master chef at work."

Rem sighed but said nothing, focusing on her chopping. Subaru leaned against the counter, occasionally throwing in ridiculous commentary about soup-making techniques, much to Rem's silent exasperation.

Three hours later, Subaru was lounging in the sunlit garden with Emilia, casually chatting about magic and Puck, when a loud thud interrupted them.

They turned to see Ram standing there, looking supremely smug, with a massive stack of neatly folded clothes in her arms. She dropped them onto the table with the elegance of a general laying down a battle plan.

Subaru stared, wide-eyed. "No way."

Ram crossed her arms, her expression as smug as it was triumphant. "As requested, Honored Guest. Your designs have been completed."

Subaru gawked at the clothes. There was the white overcoat, perfectly tailored. The jeans looked like something straight out of a fashion magazine. The cloak was dramatic enough to make any hero jealous. And the casual wear? Spot on. Even the skirt looked… wearable.

"You actually made them?" Subaru said, half in disbelief, half in awe.

"Of course," Ram replied. "A maid of the Mathers household does not fail in her duties." Ram stood there, arms crossed and a smug expression plastered across her face, as if she'd just won a silent, one-sided argument. On the table before her was a mountain of fabric that could rival a small clothing store.

Subaru's mouth fell open as she began sifting through the pile. Her hands first landed on the white overcoat. "Wait… you actually made this?"

"Of course," Ram replied, tossing her pink hair over her shoulder. "Do not underestimate my skills, Honored Guest. You thought your crude little drawing would stump me? Hah."

Subaru picked up the overcoat, holding it up to inspect. It was pristine white, with sharp, clean edges and an inner lining that screamed luxury. She pulled out the jeans next—dark, slim-fit, and somehow just her size.

"Whoa, this is… like, really good," Subaru muttered, genuinely impressed. She then spotted the cloak, all dramatic and flowing, with a clasp that looked like a tiny dragon. "Ram, did you—"

"Hand-stitched," Ram said, cutting her off. "Every last detail."

"Okay, okay, respect!" Subaru exclaimed, tossing the cloak over her shoulders and striking a ridiculous pose. "Do I look like a hero yet?"

Emilia giggled behind her hand, her lilac eyes sparkling with amusement. "You do look mysterious now."

"Mysterious? I was going for badass!" Subaru groaned, then turned back to the pile. She fished out a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. "And these… for casual wear?"

Ram nodded. "As per your… highly questionable design choices."

Subaru's eyes widened, holding up the skirt she'd added to her list almost as a joke. "You even made this, huh? I was joking. You really think I'd wear this?"

Ram raised an eyebrow. "I have no doubts you will. Your shamelessness knows no bounds."

"Touché," Subaru muttered, tossing the skirt back onto the table.

"And before you ask," Ram added, her tone sharp, "I measured you while you were asleep. Don't flatter yourself by thinking you're difficult to tailor for."

"Wait, what?" Subaru froze, her face turning beet red. "You measured me? While I was asleep?! That's… that's so creepy!"

"I assure you, it was purely professional," Ram said, brushing off the accusation like lint from her sleeve.

Subaru squinted at her. "Yeah, but still. That's, like, a thing you tell someone before you do it!"

"Would you have agreed?" Ram shot back.

"…No," Subaru admitted, slumping a little. "But still!"

"Then stop complaining," Ram said coolly.

Emilia, who had been silently enjoying the back-and-forth, chimed in, "I think you should try them on, Subaru. Ram worked very hard on these."

Subaru glanced at Emilia, then at Ram, who looked so smug she could've been mistaken for a cat that had just eaten a canary. "Fine," Subaru grumbled. "But if I end up looking ridiculous, I'm blaming you."

"You will look ridiculous no matter what you wear," Ram said with a sly smile.

"Wow, you're really gunning for Employee of the Month, huh?" Subaru shot back, grabbing the overcoat, jeans, and cloak before stomping off to the dressing room.

A few minutes later, Subaru reappeared in the overcoat and jeans, the cloak billowing dramatically behind her. She struck a heroic pose, hands on her hips. "Behold! Subaru, the Shadow Knight of Justice!"

Emilia clapped her hands together, looking genuinely delighted. "You look amaaazing, Subaru!"

Ram, however, was less enthusiastic. "Your pose is atrocious, and your moniker is worse. But the clothes do fit you well."

Subaru ignored her, twirling around to make the cloak flare out. "You guys better watch out. I'm gonna steal the show from everyone now!"

"And yet," Ram said dryly, "no one will notice."

"Oh, you're hilarious," Subaru said, rolling her eyes. "Rem! Back me up here!"

Rem had just entered the room, carrying a tray of tea. She paused, her blue eyes widening as she took in Subaru's new outfit. "…You look very… dynamic."

"I'll take it!" Subaru said, throwing her fist into the air.

Emilia giggled again, clearly enjoying Subaru's antics. "You really do look like a hero, Subaru."

"Damn right I do," Subaru said, grinning ear to ear. "And with these threads, nothing in this world can stop me!"

Ram smirked, her arms crossed. "Let us hope your confidence lasts longer than your cooking skills."

Subaru gasped, clutching her chest dramatically. "That's it. You're officially my nemesis, Ram!"

"Good," Ram replied, her tone cool. "I was getting tired of being your maid."

Subaru laughed, the sound echoing through the manor. Maybe these twins weren't so bad after all.

TBC