Drinking from blood bags did not bring her as much joy as tearing open a fresh vein did, but thankfully it also didn't cause quite as much guilt to wash over her in the aftermath of a meal.
She'd just ripped into a third blood bag in front of the open fridge door, when Damon said, "Careful there, killer."
Whipping around to face him, some of the blood spilled out over her hands. "Don't call me that."
His hands rose in defense. It'd been two days since she'd held the stake to her heart, two days since she'd seen the decimation of the secret society, and two days since stagnation set in, as they attempted to figure out exactly how to stop Klaus from killing every last vampire he'd ever created as he continued to become more and more powerful. She finished the blood bag, kicked the refrigerator door closed, tossed the bag into the trash, and turned on the faucet with her elbow, rinsing the blood off her hands, all while Damon watched.
"Don't you have something better to do?" she asked, batting her lashes at him. Her personality was a minefield. Some moments she felt okay and others grief held her at knife-point Sometimes she could keep the emotions at bay with a snarky comment, and other times a few tears slipped from her eyes without permission. In reality, nothing was okay, and nothing had been okay in weeks. But time was of the essence, and she couldn't spare a moment to grieve. Even though she could still see the faint outline of her brother's body on the ground in the living room like a ghost, gritting her teeth was the only way forward.
"More important than bothering you?" he asked, a charming smile appearing across his lips "Never."
She rolled her eyes. Ever since Jeremy's death and the switching off of her humanity—and then the rapid breakdown of it almost immediately after—things had been strange, to say the least, between the pair. Their chemistry couldn't be denied, and there had been many moments throughout the previous days where Elena wanted nothing more than to pull him into a room and lock the door behind. He hadn't left their apartment, didn't dare to give her even a sliver of space. In the same vein, Elena feared being out of his sight. Not for her own safety, as her life couldn't be taken, but for his. Any moment she couldn't see him, she thought about his death in vivid detail.
In truth, visions of her friends' deaths plagued many a waking moment. Caroline, Damon, Marcus, Stefan. None of them were safe. If only her own safety could be extended to them. But apparently the inability to keep others safe was a common theme for her in recent times. The guilt didn't cease, either. But all she could do was continue forward with them at her side, their collective fate left unspoken.
They slept side by side in her small bed, hardly speaking. Elena always curled into his body before too long, seeking the comfort of his arms wrapping tight around her, which he always did without her asking, as if they both sought comfort in proximity. Everything always felt better in those moments, in the darkness, when it was only the two of them and nothing else seemed to matter. Unfortunately, during the day, reality rolled back around and living became a chore. It wasn't only that she had to make it through the day, but that the group of them often convened for hours on end, talking through the problem at hand, attempting to find some kind of solution. How could they destroy the link that connected Elena and Klaus, how could they keep themselves safe? Despite the hours spent, the future looked equally as bleak as it the day before, and being cooped up in that small apartment with her friends started to drive her insane, despite how much she didn't want to be without them, either.
Caroline, Marcus, and Stefan walked through the door, breaking off Damon and Elena's staring contest, both with eyebrows raised, daring the other to speak first. Damon cleared his throat, turning away from Elena as he spoke. "Any luck?"
Luck would have meant finding anything useful about Elena and Klaus' connection. Luck would have meant finding anything at all. Unfortunately luck had not been on their side in recent days.
"Bonnie is overseas," Caroline said with a sigh. "So, no witch and no plan."
Marcus fiddled with the dagger they'd found in Elijah's heart. Whether or not it would kill his brother, no one knew. A hopelessness sank in over the group as Elena poured piping hot coffee into a few mugs and passed them around. Damon's eyes found hers and he shook his head almost imperceptibly. The conversation of sacrifice had not come up again. Since their last encounter with Klaus, Damon had rejected any and all mentions of the one idea Elena had. It was off the table, he'd said, immediately upon returning home, and ever since, it had been pointed looks and dismissive head shakes. He would not hear any of it. Her idea was nowhere near the table. It wasn't even in the same state, in his eyes. In hers… however?
She could almost feel the tip of the stake placed against her breast bone, angled inward toward her chest. But just as she could feel that nick of pain, so could she feel Damon's desperate gaze from across the room, the begging in his eyes unspoken but raw all the same.
"We have time. Do you know when she'll be back?" Marcus asked, looking at his sister with a hope that didn't quite come across in his words.
Caroline only shook her head, and Elena said, "What time?" Words terse and angry, her eyes roamed, meeting each of theirs for a second. "We have no idea when he's going to come for you, but he will come for you. We have to do something and soon." Why did no one else see the urgency in the matter? Why was she the only one who understood the risk? "He can walk in the sun. We have no witch. We have no protection." Her grip turned white on the counter, her emotions threatening to take over once more. Always that rage, always that grief just under the surface looking for a crack to slip through. Melting and churning, roiling as it tried to figure out which emotion it wanted to morph into.
Damon looked at her again, this time with soft eyes and compassion that made her want to vomit. She shook her head. "If we don't do something, you're all going to die."
The room went quiet. No one looked at her. Her hand tightened on the mug of coffee before her, wishing to throw it against the wall. She would not sit by and allow this to happen. She would not give up. "There has to be something," she said, begging them to hear her, begging them to keep fighting.
Stefan looked up then, catching her gaze from across the room with a sadness in his eyes she wished to unsee. "Maybe there isn't."
Her eyes moved from his to Damon's and back again. "So that's it?" she asked. "We're giving up?"
Caroline spoke up. "No, of course not. It's just—" she trailed off.
"Please," Elena begged. "We have to keep fighting. We have to." Or else, what? They would all die at Klaus' hand and leave her alone to deal with the consequences? No. "I won't let him kill you. I won't. And I think he'll listen to me. We could negotiate, we could agree to something, to anything. If it means saving all of you."
Caroline's gaze turned sympathetic, but Elena did not relent. "What is the point, anyway? In continuing to live without any of you?" Despite rocky starts, these were her friends. Her family.
Damon opened his mouth to speak but she didn't give him the space. "He has to know that I would sooner put a dagger through my own heart than live without you all." She said it so matter-of-factly that the weight of her words didn't register. A fate similar to her brother's, but at least she could take Klaus down with her.
"There's no way to know for sure that it'll work, Elena," Damon said, voice low and tense. "He's probably working on a way to break the connection, and then what? We all die for nothing. For his game."
Elena pressed her hands flat against the countertop, looking out at her friends. At Caroline, who'd given her the tools to survive, at Stefan and Marcus who'd fought for her, who'd fought alongside her, and Damon, who she could hardly stand to look at, Damon who her heart swelled for. Damon, who looked just as beaten and bruised as she felt, just as torn and angry.
"We count on it, then," Elena said firmly, as she spoke to those she cared for so deeply. "We count on him trying to break the bond between us. We count on him being bloodthirsty, on wanting to see me dead. And that's when we act."
Glances were exchanged around the room as they pondered whether or not the plan would work. They could all agree on one thing, it seemed. Klaus wanted to kill every last vampire, and that included Elena. He didn't benefit from their connection any more than she did, so it only made sense that he would wish to sever it just as much.
Stefan cracked his knuckles. "It could work."
Marcus shrugged. "If we time it right." He sighed. "We know he's on a vampire killing spree. We know he'll come for us soon. It's a gamble."
"You said it yourself, there's nothing else," Elena said, avoiding Damon's gaze, knowing his thoughts without turning to see him, knowing the conversation they would inevitably have once they found themselves alone and dreading it. To her surprise, he kept his mouth shut.
After further discussion and planning, Caroline and Stefan departed to track down Claudia, Klaus' witch. If anyone knew what he was up to, it'd be her. Marcus took off in another direction after a few words regarding Klaus' potential whereabouts.
It wasn't long before Damon stood arms crossed over his chest, staring down at Elena in the living room as she cleaned up, trying to avoid the conversation that loomed overhead.
"Elena," Damon said, but she pretended not to hear him, only continued to clean. She knew exactly what he would say, exactly what he would try to get her to do, and she couldn't bear to speak the words and listen to him plead with her. In a blur of movement, he stood before her, holding her wrists and capturing her attention with his gaze. "What are you going to do?" he asked, looking down his nose at her. "If the bond isn't broken, if this gamble doesn't pay off."
Her eyes couldn't escape his, couldn't trail away, couldn't pretend to be interested in something else. She was wholly captured by him and the words he spoke, the fear behind them, and the way he looked at her.
She swallowed thick. "I won't let him kill all of you. Not when I can do something."
His lids fluttered closed for a second before he tugged her close, pulling her wrist upward so he held them against his chest. "I need you to say it," he whispered, voice breathy as he looked down at her, as he held her like both of their lives depended on it.
"What would I have to live for?" she asked, looking up at him with glassy eyes. "If you're gone. If Caroline is gone. I've already lost my brother. I can't do this alone."
His grip tightened as he pulled her even closer, craning his neck to look down at her, his nose only an inch away from hers.
"Let me save you," she said. "If there's nothing else to be done. Please."
Time seemed to stretch away from them. Damon didn't speak but didn't look away from her either, and Elena stared up at him with watering eyes and feelings she still couldn't quite comprehend, despite what she was willing to do for him.
An eternity passed before he rested his forehead against hers. "I won't let you die for me, Gilbert."
Her eyes closed and she melted into him, his hands dropping from her wrists and grabbing her waist, laying flat on her back and pulling her flush against him, nearly picking her up off the ground with how he clung to her. Her arms wound around him, too, over his shoulders, one hand in his hair, their foreheads still pressed together.
"It's not up to you," she said against his lips as she pulled him down with all of her strength, unable to stand another moment of not kissing him. He didn't respond with words, only action, holding her body tighter, closer, as he moved his lips against hers in a kiss that was full of rage and grief and regret and passion and so many things left unsaid. But it was easier to kiss than it was to talk, and they'd never been all that great at communicating in the first place.
"It's selfish," he said, between frantic kisses. "To make me live without you."
Damon slipped his hands under the back of her shirt, placing both flat against her skin. He walked her backward into a wall, and she collided with a thud and a grunt but no protest.
"Let me be selfish," she murmured. "Just this once." One of his thighs settled between hers, and she wrapped one leg low around his other one, completely intertwined as they continued to kiss. Damon's hand trailed up her side, pulling her shirt upward until his fingers moved over the fabric, dragging upward until he reached her neck. His handle settled on the side of her face, angling it upward to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping between her lips.
Her hands grasped his shirt, balling the material into her fists as she kissed him with everything she had, all of the pent up feelings that needed release, all of the love she didn't know how to express.
They broke apart panting, Damon's forehead still resting against hers, her hands still wound in his shirt, not fully detached but eyes meeting as if they were studying one another, searching each other's eyes to find something that hadn't been spoken aloud.
"Elena," he whispered. "I have been in love with you since the very first moment I saw you."
Her lips parted. How many times had Caroline told her as much? She made a mental note to listen to the blonde more if they all made it out of this alive.
"You are stubborn and annoying and the bane of my existence," he said, trailing a thumb along her jawline. "But you are also kind and smart and beautiful." He kissed her again, softly, only for a second before pulling away once more. "And despite everything, I have never been able to stop thinking about you. Please," he said the word one more time. "To die loving you is a death I never thought I would deserve."
A/N: SO emotional posting this chapter. I can't believe this story is coming to a close. I really (selfishly) don't want it to end. But I'm so very excited to share the final chapter with you (it's a long one) and then the epilogue after that! Thanks so much as always for reading.