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Chapter 17

The next morning she woke up of the sharp light. Her eyes hurt in the morning light and all she wanted to do was to fall asleep again. She smiled and but her hand on her stomach. It is weird she thought, my room doesn't seem the same. Then she remembered and the pain rushed to her heart, she shipped for air when the pain seemed to crush her.

Lancelot, she thought. She pictured his face in her mind, his smile, his touch. Calm breaths she told herself, breath in and out. After a few moments she had calmed down and she could breath normally again and although the pain still existed, she doubted it would ever fade, so she could at least try to focus on what was happening at the moment. She tried to relax and studied the curtain which swayed in the wind, which was coming from the open window.

She touched her stomach, it had already started to return to its normal size and when she felt this, she could not hold back the tears. "You cry so much", she remembered Lancelot say to her. "These are happy tears" she answered him with a smile. This memory hurt her so bad, she missed Lancelot terribly, she felt empty without him and to know how she had failed him. She would not have the strength to face him, to tell him what had happened, what she had done.

Her thoughts were disturbed when she started to cough and at the same time there was knock on the door.

"Darling its me" she heard Vanora say, she didn't wait for an answer and walked right in. When Vanora saw Aurora coughing, she looked worried and rushed to the window.

"Have you slept with the window open tonight?" Vanora said rapidly and closed the window.

"I," But Vanora did not wait for an reply this time either. "You are unbelievable, don't you understand that you can become sick, I don't understand. Patrick should not have left you with the window open!" She exclaimed.

"I am sure he intended to return but he probably didn't want to disturb me when I was sleeping" Aurora said, defending the healer.

"Hmm" Vanora said and puffed the pillow behind Aurora. " I have food for you" she said and put the soup and bread she had with her. She sat herself next to Aurora's bed.

"I can't believe he left you with the window open, I mean you are in a fragile state and I"

"Vanora stop!" Aurora said abruptly. She looked at Vanora who looked rather ashamed.

"Vanora, I promise you, that neither the healer or I have forgotten in which state I am in" she said harshly.

Vanora nodded and took some bread and gave it to Aurora, who accepted.

"I am sorry, I am just worried for you" Vanora said.

"I know, and I appreciate it" Aurora said and smiled slightly.

"Yeah" Vanora looked around and fixed her eyes on Auroras soup. The silence were horrible.

Aurora hated how Vanora scrutinized her with her look. She hated that she no longer could hold back the tears, how she could not longer hold up her facade.

When the tears began to ran there were no stopping them. Vanora soothed her, but it did not matter what Vanora said, how long she tried to sooth her or if she would try to sooth her all day long. All Aurora wanted was to have Lancelot by her side and this thought only made Aurora more upset.

Vanora stayed for several hours, always by her side with an concerned look in her eye.

"You have a slight fever" She said and touched Auroras forehead.

Aurora raised her eyebrows uncomfortable by Vanora's touch.

Vanora noticed this and raised her eyebrows in return, but Aurora did not care.

She seated herself once again by Aurora's side.

"Hopefully Lancelot will return soon, safe and sound." Vanora said with a smile.

Aurora turned to look at her. "It would be better if he never retuned."

Appalled by her statement Vanora gasped. "How can you say that?"

"How can I not?" Aurora fired back. "I have broken my promise to him, how can I tell him I have killed his child?"

"You know it wasn't you fault! Be happy that you still have Lancelot!" Vanora siad trying to find something positive.

Something in Aurora snapped. "What Vanora, jealous? Have you changed your mind, do you want Lancelot now instead? I am sure you can give him many children!" As soon as the world left her mouth Aurora regretted them but the damage was already down.

In anger Vanora stood up. "That is not fair!" she yelled back and began to pace back and forward.

"Vanora I am sorry", she said after a while and Vanora stopped giving her one of her scrutinizing looks.

"I know you are hurting and you didn't mean those words, but all I want is for you to understand that you can not afford to lose Lancelot as well." Vanora walked back and took Aurora's hand in hers. "If you push him away, you will have lost both your husband and your child".

Aurora nodded. "But how can I face him?" she wondered and looked at Vanora desperate.

"He have vouched to love you until you die, he will not blame you for this." Vanora promised.

Aurora nodded and became silent and concentrated her focus on her thoughts.

Both Vanora and Aurora looked up when the heard the trumpet calling.

"Its them" Vanora said smiling and walked up to the window, trying to get a glimpse of them.

At first Aurora was happy but then she remembered in what kind of situation she was in and her smile faded. Still she wanted Lancelot to be safe.

Vanora also looked happy when she watched from the window and Aurora envied her but suddenly Vanora's face became with as ash.

Fear returned to Aurora's heart. "What is it?" she whispered.

Vanora starred out of the window and after a moment or two, Aurora didn't know, she turned to look at her.

"There are only seven riders."

"What?" Aurora said and stood up earning a concerned look from Vanora. "You shouldn't be standing up"

But Aurora only hushed her. "I need to see this".

It was true as Vanora said, there were only seven riders returning.

"I need to get out there now!" Aurora said and started to dress herself. She was thankful that Vanora had given her new cloths since the ones she was wearing yesterday was destroyed by all the dirt and blood. This thought gave her shivers and the fear that something would have happened to Lancelot made her nauseous.

"You are not fit to stand up, not alone be running around!" Vanora exclaimed when Aurora had dressed herself.

Aurora loved Vanora but she couldn't help herself and gave her an annoyed look.

"Vanora there is no time, I know you are worried to, so please just be quit and let me do what I want."

Vanora contemplated on this and when Aurora held out her hand to her, she took it.

Just before they were about to leave the room Aurora stopped in the doorway.

"I would appreciate if you didn't tell anyone what had happened, I need to be the one to tell Lancelot."

Vanora nodded. "I promise"

Aurora took a large breath and hugged Vanora's hand tight.

"Okey, let's go"h

When they reached the courtyard many people had gathered there to await the knights and Arthur. When Aurora stepped out on the castle stairs, she felt the pain rush through her again, remembering yesterdays events.

Feeling Vanora's hand touching her shoulder, she turned to her and smiled, but it soon faded.

"The knight's are coming!" A boy screamed and both Aurora and Vanora froze.

The time seemed to freeze, she could feel each molecule in the wind, she could hear the secondes pass by, her breath, in and out, in and out. The wind caught a stray from her hair, in slow motion she watched it fly around.

Then they came.

She reached to se better and murmured the names of each knight when she saw them.

She saw Bors and heard Vanora scream and rush forward down the stairs. Her breath were caught in her throat, she could see herself fall and then keep falling down the stairs. Snap out of it, she told herself. She continued to look. There were Gawain, Galahad, oh she couldn't think straight, who were missing, were was everyone. There was Arthur and finally Lancelot came short after his best friend. Relief filled her heart and she forgot her sorrow.

"Lancelot!" she screamed and started to run to him.

Imedietly when she screamed his name he turned his head to try and find her in the crowd. When he did he got of his horse and ran towards her.

They met in a passionate kiss, Lancelot's arms crushed her towards him but she didn't care.

"Oh god, I was so afraid" she said kissing him, over and over again.

"My angel" he whispered to her.

She couldn't stop hugging him, she would never let him go, she told herself.

"Oh how glad I am to see you" he said smiling. " and my child" he added and Aurora's smile faded. Lancelot reached to touch her stomach but she stopped him, making Lancelot look at her surprised.

She didn't know what to say and tried to make him think of something else.

"How is missing?" she asked and noticed how Lancelot changed his demeanor.

Lancelot had been so happy to see Aurora that for a moment he had forgotten what had happened during their mission.

Aurora saw his grief, she recognized it because it was her own. Oh no she thought, who has told him. But Aurora's fear faded when Lancelot told her what had happened.

"No!" she said and Lancelot took her in his arms. "This isn't fair" tears running down her face.

"We were ambushed, there was nothing either of us could do, we tried but in vain." he answered.

"But, it is only a year left, he deserved to be free." She looked at Lancelot who were looking utterly horrible. "I am so sorry Lancelot. This must be a great lose for you."

He looked at her. "To lose Percival is" he stopped, the pain evident in his eyes. She reached out and kissed him, trying to sooth his grief even though she to grieved.

Arthur walked up to them. "Lancelot, Aurora" he nodded and they greeted them as well.

"I hope all is well with you?" Arthur asked politely.

Lancelot turned to look at her as well, curious of the answer though he had not asked her.

She smiled. I can not give this burden to Lancelot right now. The lose of Pecival is great enough, I do not have the heart to tell him our child is gone, she thought. Therefore she only smiled and answered a silent yes.

Lancelot looked at her relived.

"The funeral will be tonight" Arthur said and then turned to Aurora. "Take care of Lancelot"

"I will" Aurora said.

She turned and saw Vanora watching her. Aurora only gave her a stern gaze back and returned her full attention to Lancelot.

"Come husband" she took his arm. "You need to rest". Lancelot agreed and allowed her to guide them to their room.

When they reached the room, Aurora drew him a bath. She helped him of his filthy cloths, checked for wounds.

"You are an angel" he snickered. Aurora smiled at him, happy that he still had some of his humour left.

"Come, bath" she said and pointed to the bath.

He undressed himself until he was completely naked, she smiled and checked in silence after injuries with her gaze.

"You should join me" he said after he had seated himself in the bath.

"Nah, I just want you to be clean, no distractions" she said pointing at him.

She sat herself next to him. For a moment ago it was Vanora who sat at my side, she thought.

"What are you thinking of?" She looked up and found Lancelot looking at her worried.

"Nothing special" she smiled reassuring.

Lancelot sighed. "I can't believe he is dead." Aurora gave him a understanding gaze.

"What happened?" she wondered. "Who killed him?"

Lancelot's appearance hardened. "Woads, they ambushed us."

Anger boiled in her blood, it was not fair that Lancelot had to lose two loved ones on this short amount of time.

"I am beginning to hate them Aurora. I don't want to and I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it."

Aurora took up a cloth and started to wash Lancelot's upper body, trying to calm him.

"For years I have watched them kill my brothers" he continued. "And after years my hate is now stronger then ever!" He slammed his hand on a table which stood beside the tub and the oils, which were in glace bottles, broke.

Lancelot held his hand in front of his head, breathing heavily.

"Lancelot, how can I help you?" she wondered and reached out to move his hands away from his face. He looked up to her, tears rolling down his eyes. Aurora's heart were shattered into a million pieces when she saw this.

"I don't know if I am able to live a normal life after this life" he whispered.

"Yes you will." She answered and put her hands on his cheeks. "But you are right in one way, you will always be a knight Lancelot. Always, but you can still live a life of peace." she smiled at him.

"I wouldn't know what I would do without you" he said and held her hand in his.

"And I would not be able to live without you" she answered.

"We are going to be such a happy family" Lancelot said and smiled for real since she met him.

She diverted her gaze and was thankful when a knock was heard on the door.

"Yes?" she said and saw that it was Vanora. "I will be right back" she said to Lancelot. And closed the door after her.

Vanora looked at her with concern in her eyes. "You have to tell him Aurora".

She sighed and supported herself on the wall. "Are you alright?" Vanora wondered.

Aurora shook her head, "no" she whispered. They were silent for a while.

"I can't tell him" Aurora finally said. "He has lost Percival and I can not bare to tell him that I lost our child." she pleaded.

"He will find out eventually, the whole castle knows what have happened to you." Vanora tried to convince her and Aurora knew what was the right thing to do but she couldn't.

"No, I can't, he must grieve this first."

Vanora nodded. "If that is your decision".

"It is" she said with an determined tone. "I will tell him after the funeral" she added

Aurora had to stop and breath for a second.

"You have a fever" Vanora said and helped Aurora to support herself on her.

Aurora nodded and leaned on Vanora. "You are to nice to me" she said with a tired smile.

"You deserve all the kindness you get darling, of that I promise you." Vanora said looking in to her eyes.

"Now, you have a fever Aurora, you should rest" she continued.

"Perhaps, but you should really return to Bors" Aurora said and began to lean on the wall instead to give Vanora the chance to leave.

Vanora had doubts but Aurora tried to reassure her.

"Really" she said with a smile. "You should not waste any more time on me. I need to return to Lancelot anyway."

Vanora gave up her attempts to make Aurora rest, when she realized she was fighting a lost cause. They departed and Aurora returned to her room and found Lancelot asleep. She looked at the sight of him. He seemed so serene and relaxed, not like the wounded soldier he was.

Another strike of fever ran through her body.

"I hope I will make it through the day" she said and looked at Lancelot. "I hope we both will."

p.s I know Aurora is a little harsh to Vanora in this chapter, but keep in mind, she is grieving!