Hey everyone! So, finally an update! I know that it has taken a while, been away on a trip, but it is coming to an end soooonnnn. :) Thank you Kate Roswell for you review, I will think about how I will do about Cleo's letter. :)
Otherwise, just enjoy! :D
Chapter 31
Aurora walked with Guinevere on Hadrian 's Wall. The harsh wind was cold and Aurora shivered under her white fur coat.
"Do thank Merlin for his help with Tristan. I don't think Tristan would have survived without his help and knowledge." Aurora said and continued to gaze in front her. Guinevere was very concentrated on the ground, deep into her own thoughts yet still controlling each step she took.
"I will." Was her only response. "How is he doing?" She asked after a while and Aurora shrugged her shoulders. "Better, but he still has a fever." Guinevere nodded. "It is a true wonder that he is alive." The woad murmured. "It certainly is." Aurora replied and then they fell silent once more.
"How are you doing?" Guinevere asked silently and Aurora glanced at her, this was the question Aurora had been waiting for and feared for.
"Do you mean after my honest encounter with Lancelot?" She said and earned a nod from the woadgirl. "I am," She inhaled. "Surviving." She closed her eyes and composed the feelings inside her, trying to concentrate on the sounds around her instead of her own thoughts.
"I am sorry." She heard Guinevere reply and she forced her eyes open, but remained silent. She didn't say anything because she did not like to speak of Lancelot with others. It felt very uncomfortable even to speak with Guinevere about him these last days; she had not her emotions fully under control yet.
"It is odd." Guinevere began and stopped, making Aurora stop also. "What is?" Aurora enquired curiously. "You." Guinevere answered simply, smiling. "To see you in these dresses, to see how roman you are." Guinevere motioned at Aurora's clothes and Aurora herself looked at her roman attire, touching her gold earings.
Aurora smiled. "It is just as odd for me to see you in dress." She responded making Guinevere laugh. "I suppose so." Her sudden outburst made Aurora smile. "Do you feel at peace now?" Guinevere asked suddenly, taking Aurora by surprise. "What do you mean?" She asked to avoid answering. "Here, at the fort, are you at peace now that you are home?" Honestly Aurora wanted to answer no because these recent days had made her realize that Lancelot was the person who had made this fort her home. Without him, she didn't know if she could call it home, but to say this to Guinevere? No. "I do." She lied, ignoring the guilt she felt.
"Good." Guinevere answered seemingly believing her lie. "I must tell you Aurora that the main reason for visiting you today was to tell you about Darin's funeral." She saw how Guinevere stiffened when she mentioned Darin's name and Aurora put a comforting hand on the woads shoulder.
"Yes?" Aurora replied. "I wanted to tell you that it is to be held tonight and that you are allowed to attend." Aurora raised her eyebrows, she had expected that she might not be invited and was surprised that she was.
"They want a roman to attend his funeral?" She asked puzzled earning an annoyed glance from Guinevere. "Don't" Was her only reply, then she gazed down her feet. "Besides," Guinevere began, a soft pink shimmer on her face, "The knights and Arthur are also invited." Guinevere finished. "Oh." Aurora said surprised. "Merlin wants to close the rift between us." The woad explained.
"I see." The roman girl nodded her head. "Well, I will see you tonight then." Aurora responded letting go of Guinevere's shoulder.
"Yes, you will. I am sorry that I cannot stay longer but there is so much to with the funeral."
Aurora smiled a little. "I understand." She said and Guinevere nodded in return. "I will see you tonight." Guinevere said and then she walked away. During their conversation it had been snowing, making Guinevere leave a path of footsteps behind her. Aurora remained were she stood looking after her, following the woad with her eyes. When Guinevere disappeared, she turned around and began walking once more. She walked with soft and quiet steps, slowly making her way forward. Then she heard blades connecting and looked down on her left, seeing the training grounds. Her breath stopped when she saw the knights training. She could feel how the time seemed to slow down as she gazed at him and she felt her weakness when she found that she could not look away. He was laughing she thought to herself. How could he laugh, she thought selfishly.
"Milady." She heard from afar, interrupting her thoughts. When she looked behind her, one of Arthur's personal helpers stood there. "Yes?" She answered a little embarrassed with being caught spying on the knights.
"My lord Arthur requests an audience with milady." Aurora looked at him confused. "Now?" She asked and shivered when a cold wind came bursting down on them. "Now." The man replied. "Very well." Aurora said not wanting to be outside anymore. "Follow me, milady." He said and she did, leaving the coldness behind her.
"Aurora." Arthur said and came towards her. "How I am glad to see you well." He gave her a hug and she returned it. "You can go for today." Arthur said to the man who had collected her and he left.
"Please sit down." Arthur said to her, showing her to a chair next to the fireplace. "Wine?" Arthur gave her glace and she took it. "Thank you." She said, it was warm inside Arthur's room and she relaxed when she felt the warmth of the fire reach her body. Arthur had seated himself opposite her, but also next to the fireplace and he looked at her as if he was looking at a ghost.
"I prayed that you would survive." He said smiling and she blushed a little. "I am very grateful."She replied honestly. Arthur tilted his head and starred at her. "It is truly a wonder having you here. There is so much that has happened." He began, shrugging his shoulders. "I have heard so many things about Rome recently that I don't know what the truth is anymore." He confessed." And I think you are the only I can speak with about this matter, you are probably the only one that can understand." His words made her feel uneasy and worried what he was talking about. "What is the matter Arthur?" She asked silently. "I have been told." Arthur stopped and looked down. "I have been told that Pelagius have been executed." He continued his pain evident in his voice. "I am so sorry." Aurora leaned forward in the chair. "I know that he was very important to you." She continued and tried to make eye contact. "Like a father." Arthur replied lost in thought. He shook his head and returned from his own world back to the room. "It seems that Rome is not the place I thought it was." Aurora looked away from him. She had known about Rome for a long time, but had not dared to speak of it with Arthur. His world would have been turned upside down and now she could see that it had. Aurora felt his gaze on her and looked at him.
"I fear Rome have begun to fall, it is devouring itself." She responded honestly and Arthur nodded. "That is why I have decided stay here in Britannia." She snapped her head up, utterly surprised. "Stay?" She asked. "Yes, here we can have the chance to build something new." He spoke passionately but Aurora felt doubt in her heart. "And the woads?" She enquired.
"We would be united as one people." Aurora frowned. "One people?" She asked with doubt still in her voice. "Arthur, the woads," She looked at him frustrated trying to find the words. "This is their land, what makes you think they would share it?" Arthur smiled. "I understand your doubt, but it is possible Aurora." He raised his head. "The people would unite under one leader." His intentions dawned on her and she felt her mouth open slightly. "One leader?" She repeated and eyed him. "Would you be that leader?" Arthur nodded. She was to chocked to ask any more questions and leaned back into the chair and tried to comprehend what he had told her.
"I understand that this must come as big news to you." She nodded in response. "And the true matter, which I brought you here to discuss, is however for more sensitive." Once more he caught her by surprise and woke her curiosity. "Much has happened, during these last weeks." For the first time she could sense that Arthur was nervous, making her wonder what would come next and she took a zip of her wine to brace herself.
"I have been becoming quite close to the lady Guinevere." Hearing Guinevere being called Lady made Aurora choke on her wine, but she was able to hide it. "Really?" She said, coughing a little. "Yes, I know it must be odd that I have developed feelings for a woman who, well, who belongs to a people which have been my enemies these past 15 years." A little, Aurora thought but remained it to herself.
"And Guinevere returns your affection?" She asked instead. "I believe that she does." He said hesitantly. "But I must confess that I am not certain. I have seen some of her qualities these past weeks, but I don't dare to say that I know her character." Aurora raised her eyebrows. "To speak plainly Aurora." He said and looked slightly ashamed. "With Guinevere by my side, she and I could unite the people in this country and make peace. However, this is also why I have not asked her yet. As much as our union would be beneficial, I am afraid she will feel inclined to say yes." He sighed and laid his hand to cover his eyes. "And I don't want a wife who has been forced to marry me." Aurora just looked at him choked. Why had Guinevere not spoken to her?
"I..." Aurora stopped; she was too stunned to say anything. "Much has happened, I can hear." She murmured, making Arthur nod.
"You know her." Arthur said and leaned forward. "Can you tell me who she is?" Aurora looked at him. "I don't...Arthur." She said and tried to avoid his gaze.
"Do you think she could say yes even if she didn't care about me?" He finally said their entire conversation leading up to this single question. She starred at him, their eyes locked to each others, as she thought about Guinevere and the woadgirls on words. Yes, she thought, Guinevere would sacrifice her own life to make a better life for her people, but this? She closed her eyes in an attempt to clear her thoughts. She felt conflicted. Guinevere had not spoken to her, so she did not know how the woad felt, but Arthur had asked about her character. Would Guinevere marry a man, Arthur, for her people?
"Guinevere would never marry a man she disliked." Aurora said finally. "She is like you Arthur, a champion for her people, but a life married to a man she did not care for?" Aurora shock her head. "I cannot think she would settle for this." Aurora answered. She saw that Arthur shifted in his chair in the corner of her eye as she refused to look at him. The reason was that she did not know if she had done the right thing. She was afraid she had spoken a lie.
"Good." Arthur nodded. "I have seen signs that she feels something for me, but, like I said, I don't know her." Aurora looked at him. "Yet, you stayed to fight for her." Arthur remained blank. "I fought for the people." He earned a questioning look. "And for her." He then answered. Aurora nodded and then drank up her wine and felt warmth spread through her body. Arthur stirred the fire.
"I have spoken to Lancelot." He said stealing a glance of her. When she heard him utter the name Lancelot, she stiffened. "He, is, confused." Arthur began and stood up. "Your arrival has been a blessing, yet it steers up many emotions." Aurora swallowed feeling her heart race beneath her chest. "Please." She began and also stood up. "Don't." She said, a warning in her voice, using her roman status, reminding him of the unwritten rules. They were near equals, both having high positions in the roman society. Arthur, however, did not care about this. "You should give him time." She gave Arthur a harsh glance. "Arthur, I hope I have been of assistance to you and I will see you later." She nodded to him and started to leave the room. "Don't let him go Aurora." His voice made her stoop for a few seconds the she closed the door behind her without responding to his comment.
Shivering, she made her way through the fort and decided to go to the healer to ask for some herb to help her sleep. She felt exhausted. Inside she was angry at herself for being a coward, she knew she should fight for Lancelot but a part of her also wanted to accept his decision. She hit the wall to let go of some of her frustration and felt pain slowly creeping through her hand. "Stupid." She murmured to herself and continued to the healer's quarters. She knocked on the door and was invited in. The rooms were light and airy, with beautiful views over the town and the fields beyond. "I just wanted to ask if you had any herb to help me sleep?" She asked and the healer murmured something in response. "I will have to go outside to get some new, my stock is unfortuenely empty. Wait here and I will come back in a while." Stunned, she saw his back disappear through the door and laughed a little at the confused healer. She seated herself and waited. Finally, she heard footsteps coming and she stood up to greet the healer.
"Did you find anything?" She asked with a smile on her lips, but it was not the healer who came through the door, it was Lancelot.
"Aurora?" He asked bewildered and she gave him a curious look. "Are you hurt?" They asked at the same time, both of them wondering why the other person was here, in the healer's quarter.
"Are you hurt?" Lancelot asked faster, the second time. "No." She murmured. "I only asked after some herbs. "Are you hurt?" Lancelot clenched his jaw as he moved into the room. "Only a scratch." He said and touched his shoulders. "I can take care of it myself, but since it is my back it is hard to see." He explained. "The healer will be back soon." Aurora said, trying to keep herself under control. "It is okay, I can manage." He said and started to leave the room. "Don't be silly." She said sternly and walked past him to close the door and then turned to face him. "Surely we can be civilised enough to be in the same room?" She said and eyed him for a second. He looked surprised when she said this and she saw a small smile play on his lips. "I didn't want to intrude." He said in defence and while he spoke she could see how his shirt was getting redder for each second.
"Yes, well your wound does not have the same courtesy." She moved to his side and glanced at the wound. It was nothing, as Lancelot himself had said, but her concern was still hard to hide from her features.
"I can help you." She said hesitantly. "If you want?" She stole a glance at him before fetching some water and bandage. "If you don't mind." Was Lancelot's reply and she felt his eyes in her back. She knew the herbs needed to treat the wound; she had taken care of his wounds before. When the sound of something being thrown at the floor, she had a wild guess that it was his shirt and she braced herself. When Aurora turned around Lancelot stood before her, shirtless, and she felt her heart jump a few beats. She clenched her jaw and walked to his side.
"So," She said when starting to clean the wound. Lancelot had his back towards her and in this moment she was very grateful for this. "How did this happen?" Lancelot sighed and his back moved as he did so, making Aurora lose her concentration for a moment. "Well, Bors is to old to control his lames." Lancelot answered with a laugh. "His should retire now." Aurora smiled. "I am certain that you made his day. Vanora will hear about this all night." She said laughing as well. The wound was clean and she began to applicate a small layer of herbs. The silence between them said more than words could have. They both thought about what to say, but every fraction of a sentence seemed wrong and they held back their words.
"Can you help me with this?" Aurora asked and referred to the bandage, which had to be wrapped around Lancelot's torso. "Of course." He said as she gave him it. She moved so she stood in front of him and gently made a knot. He looked at her the entire time. "It's done." She said and raised her eyes. Lancelot smiled at her. "You remember how to do it." He touched the bandage. Aurora was silent for a while before she answered. "Something's you never forget." Aurora stated and Lancelot nodded.
"Will you attend Darin's funeral later this evening?" She went to return the things she had used, while she asked the question. "My saviour? But of course." He responded as she heard how he took his shirt on. "Aurora, I." She raised her eyes to stare at the wall, awaiting him to continue. "I thought that you might, if you want, need a friend tonight." She turned around to give him a curious look.
"I thought I could be your..." He motioned with his hands to find the word. "Escort?" She finished for him. Lancelot nodded. "Perhaps, you think it odd." Aurora remained silent. Go there with Lancelot? That would be odd.
"I don't know." She said honestly. "Too soon?" He gave her a concerned look. She raised her eyes to look at him directly and then nodded. "Too soon." She repeated. Lancelot smiled.
"I will be there." He said reassuringly, if you need me was the unsaid ending of that sentence, and Aurora was grateful for his concern. "Thank you, for your help." He said and nodded at her. When he left, she felt hollow and the silence was deadly to her.
"Here are your herbs, milady." Someone said to her from a distance. When she broke her thoughts she saw the healer standing in front of her, handing a bag to her. "Thank you." She murmured. "Yes, well. Perhaps you do need some rest." He said and eyed her oddly making her wonder how long he had tried to make contact. She excused herself quickly and then went back to her room.
Guinevere!" Aurora shouted when she spotted the woman amongst all the blue painted warriors. Many looked at her, making her regret the decision to shout but it had been necessary. The woad looked at her curiously and walked towards her.
"What is the matter?" Guinevere asked when she reached her. "I must speak with you." Aurora managed to say while breathing. He long black dress was heavy and it had slowed her down when she had walked to the burial place.
Guinevere took hold of one of her arms and dragged her to a more remote location where they could speak in private. Aurora glanced at the gathering and the fires which burnt.
"So?" Guinevere inquired. She was too painted in a blue colour but she wore a white dress.
"Is it true about you and Arthur?" Aurora wondered, trying to sound relaxed. When she asked the question Guinevere's first response was surprise, it was quite evident on her features. "Who told you?" Guinevere asked and raised her eyebrows. "Does it matter?" Aurora wondered if Guinevere would have wanted to keep it a secret. "Yes and no." Guinevere answered. "I would have told you myself of course but with everything happening with Lancelot, I thought..." Seeing Aurora flinch, Guinevere stopped. Aurora still looked at her, however. "I don't know what I thought." Guinevere finished.
Aurora sighed. "Guinevere," She said and took her hand. "Please tell me that you have feelings for him." Aurora said looking at the woadgirl. Guinevere looked like a goddess tonight in her white dress, long dark hair and the blue paint in beautiful symbols on her face and arms. Guinevere, however, looked away from her. "It would be a good union." She finally answered and looked at Aurora. Guinevere saw the doubt on Aurora's features. "We could finally have peace here Aurora, we could build something. If we lived in freedom Darin's death would not be in vain." Aurora felt sympathy with her friend. "I understand Guinevere, but Arthur is my friend as much as you are. Political marriages are nothing that is not new for me but I care about you two. So, I am asking you do you have feelings for him or is this just about a beneficial union?" Aurora said using Arthur's own words. She was no stranger to political marriages but she knew Guinevere, Guinevere was a child of nature. A creature that above all needed freedom and marriage to man she did not love would only give her pain and suffering. And Arthur, he was a man who deserved a woman who loved him.
"I will grow to love him." Guinevere answered making Aurora shake her head. "Aurora, listen to me." Guinevere said. "He is a good man I care about him and eventually I will love him."
"And Arthur? What about him Guinevere? What will he do, feel, if he realizes that you don't love him?" Guinevere looked at her sadly and then she gave her a stern look. "Don't be a fool Aurora." She said simply. "He doesn't love me either." And with that she left Aurora starring at her back, unable to do anything but accept.
So, I hope you liked it and that you want to continue on reading!
Ciao! :)