Hey everyone! Here is chapter 32, I hope you will like it :) This chapter is more from Lancelot's point of view, however, it is a bit of mix, so heads up!
I would also like to thank KagHieiLuver for your kind review and I hope that you won't be disappointed with this chapter!
Other than that, thanks to everyone who has followed my story or just found it. :) Yes, I am starting to be a little sentimental, this story should be finished soon and it has taken me almost two years...don't think that is a good thing though...wellwell.
Hope you are excited to see if the boy gets the girl, or maybe in this case, if the girl gets the boy! :D
Love Birello
Chapter 32
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Aurora starred into the fire which made sure that Darin's body was turned into ashes. The woads hymned silently in the same tone, while one girl sang a song making them all feel as if the past, and the people who belonged there, were among them this night. Memories of the people who had fallen in the war between Rome and the woads, and the ones who had died when they had stood united as one against the Saxons.
She contemplated on Guinevere's words and the knowledge of Guinevere's and Arthur's reunion. To disregard the fact how beneficial their union would be was foolish, yet if they did not love each other how would they be able to support each other? Aurora shook her head taking her eyes of the fire, it was not in her place to persuade either of them to reconsider their choice. She was a roman and if she had not come to Britain it would have been most likely that she as well would have married because of political advancements.
At her thoughts, she looked amongst the crowd, her eyes searching for the man she had married, not for political gain or power, but of love. Her heart seemed to stop when she found him, he was too looking at her and she had not strength to look away. Eventually she was able to tore her eyes from him and she felt the urge to escape both Lancelot and everyone else. Aurora quickly started to walk away from the crowd and the funeral, her mind needed to rest and Darin's body had already turned to ashes.
The fort was silent when she returned, some maids were still running around making preparations for the night. But mostly, all the servants that she was familiar with, was gone. Since they had been Romans, they too had left when the Saxon drums were heard. It was never only Arthur that would have left Britain, it was all the Romans, servants, soldiers, roman families who had moved here, and now they were all gone making the village seem a lot smaller and much quieter.
She closed the door softly behind her and locked it when returning to her room. From the window she could she see the fires burning, not only Darin's but of all those men who had died in the battle. Sighing she started to undress herself, not caring to call for assistance this evening, it had in truth been a long day and she would finally be allowed to sleep.
Lancelot sat at the table in a small dinning room this morning in the company of the rest of the knights. Some weeks had passed since the battle at Badon Hill and some changes were evident to them all.
"Breakfast is not what it used to be." Said Bors with some disappointment, eyeing the dry bread in his hand. Lancelot nodded in agreement and took on of the few apples on the table.
"Say what you want about freedom." Gawain began. "But at least we seemed to eat better when we were slaves." He finished, earning a few smiles from the rest.
"I never realized how many of the workers were actually Romans." Galahad stated. "Or roman slaves." Lancelot put in. "And now they are gone." Galahad sighed. "Well, we cannot blame them for going." The silent knight had recovered well these last weeks, yet the wound still afflicted him pain and it would take awhile before the old Tristan returned.
"Maybe we can ask the woads to make us dinner." Bors said and grinned making Lancelot smile at his foolish joke. "You do that." He began. "And they will serve you for dinner." Lancelot ended hearing laughs from the rest of the knights.
Aurora too had noticed the difference between now and her past life at the fort. She no longer had her own maid, due to the fact that her old maid had left before the battle. Thankfully the life with the woads had made her less comfortable and she adjusted well. Another thing was that she had always had breakfast in her room, but now there were no one to bring it for her, which also forced her to make her way to the shared dinning room were the knights were.
Lancelot had just finished his apple when he saw her arrive. She had cleaned up well and no one could have known that this roman woman had been covered in blood and dirt some weeks ago. Today, he noted, her long hair was braided and she wore a simple dress.
"God morning." She said, very neutral, and the knights answered her. She took some bread and wine and with some hesitation she made her way to the table. Some might not have seen her hesitation but he did, yes, she always pouted her lips when she was uncertain.
"Were is Vanora this day?" Aurora asked Bors who answered, making Aurora laugh. Lancelot smiled but felt his eyes drift to her. When she laughed she almost every time hide her mouth with her hand, he had forgotten that she did that he thought to himself.
"What will you today then?" He found himself asking, earning a look of surprise from Aurora. "I do not know. I thought I would visit Vanora." She said and took a zip of her wine. "I thought it would be nice to see her and of course the children." She added smiling to Bors who nodded approvingly. "She will like that." It was silent for while after that, both Aurora and Lancelot felt awkward in each others company.
"Well, I think I will return to my room." Aurora stood up."But thank you for the company."She said smiling and Lancelot heard himself say good bye as Aurora left the room.
His gaze remained on the door long after she had left. He had seen her about these past weeks, they often met during breakfast or dinner since they now all shared the same dinning room. Polite conversations had passed between them, both unaware of how the proceed or interact with the other. Sometimes he had seen her in the town when she was buying something and on those occasions he often stopped what he was doing, just to be able to gaze at her for a while. It had been some days ago, when he was sitting at the tavern, that he realized that he hoped that he would see her in there, but so far he never had.
The next time Lancelot spotted her was in the only garden that the fort had, it was small and not really a garden, but it had a few hedges and a small bench in it. She was reading a letter and by what he could see from her features she was very upset and not afraid to show it, probably because she thought that no one was watching. He debated on if he should make his presence known or if he should let her be, yet his curiosity and concern for her prevailed and he gently walked towards her.
Upon seeing him, she hid the letter under her cloak and formed a stressed smile on her face. "Lancelot!" She exclaimed, her surprise making her forget the awkwardness between them. Her cheeks blushed a little at her outburst and to his dismay he could see how her posture became stern and stiff, her armor was up now, he thought to himself.
"May I join you?" He asked gently, observing her face while waiting for her reply. "Oh," Was the only thing which escaped her mouth and Lancelot gave her a worried look. "If you think it is uncomfortable I completely understand." He said and bowed his head in goodbye, a little disappointed at her reaction. "Wait." She said and her cry made him stop. "I would be delighted." She said and earned a smile from Lancelot as he seated himself on the bench. He had no idea what to say and neither did Aurora from what it seemed.
"It is quite cold today." He said in an attempt to make conversation, hating the hesitant tension between them. She looked at him oddly and then a small laugh escaped her lips. "The weather Lancelot? You want to discuss the weather?" She smiled genuinely for the first time since he had seen her and he grinned at her response. "Yes, I suppose so." She looked at him with affection for moment, but then looked down as if haunted by her own feelings.
"How are you doing?" He asked with concern in his voice. Aurora raised her eyes to meet his and sighed. "I am fine, you do not need to concern yourself with me." She said rather harshly. Stricken by her words he nodded silently, surprised by her attitude.
"I am sorry Lancelot." Aurora excused herself, regretting the sternness in her voice. "But I am just tired of everyone asking me that question." She said honestly and he felt her hand softly touching his shoulder.
"I understand Aurora, I have." He snorted. "Experienced a lot of those questions as well." Aurora nodded. "Anyway," He continued. "I am not everyone." He added and gently took her hand from his shoulder into his hands. She gave him a sad look, but she did not draw back her hand but let it remain in his. Her hand seemed so small in his, Lancelot thought to himself.
They were quiet for while, none of them knowing what to do next. Aurora shifted her attention from Lancelot to the small snowflakes which made their way to the ground. Lancelot still clasped her hand, unable to let go. They both felt the emotions stir intensely in their bodies and Lancelot could feel his heart beating faster since he was so close to her.
"What do you want from me?" Whispered Aurora after a while, her voice thick with emotion and confusion. Lancelot looked into her eyes. "I do not know." He answered truthfully, feeling despair at the answer he had given her. She swallowed hard and shut her eyes for a moment. Lancelot still held her hand in his.
"Are you going to leave for Sarmatia now?" She asked next, and slowly opened her eyes to direct her gaze at him. He, however, avoided her eyes and looked away. "I don't know." He answered again and clenched his jaws in frustration.
"Do you want to stay here then?" He heard Aurora's third question and much to his dismay and anger there was only one answer he could give her. "I don't know." As his mouth formed the words, he declared himself to be the biggest scoundrel ever to walk this earth. Aurora however, smiled dejected as Lancelot felt the warmth of her hand disappear as she pulled it away from his.
"I am to be honest." Aurora spoke. "All this time since the night we talked, I have thought that I was the one who suffered the most." Lancelot studied her and felt the urge to take her in his arms when she said this, but she remained blank and aloof. "But I see know that I was wrong." She sighed and turned to look at him sadly. "At least I know what I want." Her words went through him like an arrow and he could not stand to meet her eyes nor protest her sat motionless for a moment, then Lancelot seemed to wake up from his haze and he motioned to sit closer to her and now he took a hold of both her hands.
"I know that I must seem..." He started but stopped and Aurora waited for him to continue, but when nothing came she sighed and looked away from him. He released her hands and gently drew her closer again by holding his hand on her cheek. She could see the conflict in his eyes and he could see something in hers that made him even more guilty. During these weeks she had been reserved and polite but now he could see hope in her eyes.
"Aurora, I wish." He tried to find the words she wanted to hear but he couldn't. Their faces seemed to come closer to each other and he could feel her breath against his skin. But none of them dared to do anything and in the end they just sat there, their foreheads against each other, with closed eyes and Lancelot hand still resting on Aurora's cheek.
"I do not judge you." Aurora said silently. She put her hand on his and gently released herself from his hold. "I have had more then a year to reflect on my feelings, needs and dreams." She carefully stroked his cheek. "I don't expect you to know this after a few weeks." Lancelot looked at her and nodded. "And not only that." Aurora continued. "You thought I was dead." Her words seemed to be conclusive and he felt gratitude for her understanding.
"I am glade that you don't hate me." Voiced Lancelot with relief. He saw how her expression changed and he could sense her pensiveness. "I could never hate you." Aurora said as a response. When he was about to answer they were interrupted by footsteps and Lancelot stood up in front of Aurora to shield her in mere instinct. However, it was only a soldier, coming to leave a message.
"Lord Arthur would like you to join him at the round table." The soldier said, bowed, and then left them. Aurora stood up with concerned eyes making him question if she knew what was wrong. "Nothing is wrong, I just have my guess of what Arthur might want to share with us." She answered. "It is best if we do as he commands." Aurora continued starting to make her inside.
"Aurora." Lancelot said and reached for her hand. Once more he sensed her surprise and his act made her stop dead in her tracks. Slowly she turned around, avoiding his gaze.
"Please, Lancelot." She pleaded, while still fixing her eyes on the ground. When he saw her anguished face he understood what a toll this was for her and that he was the cause for it. The truth was that he was surprised by his own feelings and when he saw her pain there was nothing else he wanted then to take her in his arms and sooth her. However, he restrained himself, knowing that that would only inflict more harm than good. As if burned, he released her hand.
"I was wrong to say these things to you this day." He whispered, watching as Aurora shook her head and he heard a small sob. When she looked up, he could see new-won strength mixed with tears in her eyes.
"No." She said and swallowed. "You but merely answered my questions." Aurora pulled her cloak tighter around her body as if she tried to protect herself.
"Come, let's not keep Arthur waiting." She whispered and then quickly walked inside, shortly followed by Lancelot to fulfill Arthur's request.
"Knights, my ladies." Arthur said and stood up from his chair. He stood by his seat at the round the table, the knights were there including Aurora and Guinevere. "There is something I must say to you.." He began and earned a smile from Guinevere.
Aurora shifted in her chair awaiting what she knew was coming. Her emotions were turbulent after her encounter with Lancelot and she could feel his gaze upon her. In this moment she was thankful that she was not alone with him and that she had Arthur to concentrate on.
"It is my great honor to tell you that I have asked for the Lady Guinevere's hand and she has to my joy accepted." Arthur declared. The knights looked at one another for a moment before Bors joyfully congratulated them both, in which all the knights did the same.
At Arthur's words Aurora smiled trying to suppress the doubt from her face. In the corner of her eye she saw Lancelot finishing his cup of wine with a severe facial expression.
"I am happy for you." Gawain said and bowed to Guinevere and Arthur. Aurora waited for the knights to say their congratulations before she made her way forward. Lancelot also seemed to wait for a moment before he went to congratulate Arthur and Guinevere.
"Congratulations." Lancelot said and gave Arthur a fast hug followed by Aurora, who did the same. "Thank you for your advice Aurora." Arthur said while she hugged him and she smiled gently as a response. While Aurora congratulated Arthur, Lancelot spoke to Guinevere.
"I hope that you will be most happy together." He said avoiding the woads gaze as he took her hand and gently kissed it. When Aurora arrived to Guinevere, her eyes still lingered on Lancelot's body as he left the room.
"I am also happy for you both." Aurora said not noticing Guinevere's longing gaze on Lancelot. She forced a smile on her face and gave Guinevere a hug.
"I can see when your smile is not genuine Aurora." Guinevere whispered and gave her a sad look. "I wish that you would have faith in both me and Arthur and believe that we know what we are doing." Aurora nodded sternly.
"I am just worried about you both and I don't know if I can just stand idle." Guinevere gently put a hand on Aurora's shoulder.
"You are good friend." Guinevere said and to Aurora's surprise she saw a mix of guilt and sadness in Guinevere's eyes. But they disappeared almost directly and Aurora renounced what she had seen, blaming her own emotions for making her see things which were not there. "Just trust me." Guinevere finished, making Aurora concentrate on the woman again.
"The doubt I have is only regarding you and Arthur's happiness." Aurora began in explanation. "But when it comes to you being a queen, then I have no doubt at all." Aurora continued raising a glass of wine in honor. "Because that my friend, you wore born to do."
So chapter 32, like it? :)