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Chapter 35
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For the first time since her return she was heading towards the tavern. It was not a visit to indulge herself or to meet Lancelot, she had actually been sent to deliver a message. She straightened her back in an attempt to look more confident then she felt when she walked the final steps to the tavern. Even though Aurora had spent many hours here when she had been together with Lancelot, she still felt like stranger every time she came here.
As Aurora thought, she detracted a few surprised looks from the knights when she entered and she smiled in greeting to them. However, she couldn't miss the worry in Lancelot's eyes as he rose to meet her.
It was the first time they met since he had confessed how he felt and Aurora had not responded yet.
"Are you alright?" He asked with a low voice as he reached her, gently putting his hand on her arm. She gazed quickly at his hand before she met his gaze and nodded her head in reassurance.
"Yes, I am fine." She answered "But I must speak with Vanora." Aurora added firmly in an attempt for him to understand that she was in a hurry. "Excuse me." Aurora said to Lancelot when she spotted the woman.
"Vanora, the healer needs your help." Aurora said as she reached Vanora and earned a curious glance.
"What's wrong?" Vanora asked as she poured a mug of ale to a customer.
"A difficult labour." Aurora answered lowering her voice. "He needs a pair of extra hands, preferable someone with experience." She added. "I told him I would ask for your help."
Vanora nodded, realising the danger in the situation having had 11 children of her own. "I will come at once." She answered and gave a stone jug with wine to Aurora.
"You will have to take care of the bar for me." Aurora gave her a perplexed look.
"What?" She said making Vanora smile at her while she walked away. "Just pour drinks Aurora." Vanora yelled at her, leaving Aurora with a petrified expression on her face.
She swallowed nervously and looked around for a moment. All the Romans were gone so there wasn't as many people in the tavern any more, but this was still a challenge for her.
"I need some more wine." A loud man said and stopped in front of her. Looking at him with widened eyes for a moment, she then gave him the wine in her hand.
"Here." She said and then walked as fast as she could to the bar. "Wine...wine..." She murmured to herself as she poured more mugs of the liquid.
"Is that Aurora behind the bar?" Gawain said more as a statement then a question, making the rest of the knights shift their attention from their drinks to the woman behind the bar.
"Of course no..." Lancelot said as he turned around, but chocked on his words as he saw that it was in fact Aurora, who now, were going from table to table serving people wine.
"Where is Vanora?" Tristan asked the other knights, who merely shrugged their shoulders in reply.
"Maybe she has left you Bors and escaped into the darkness of the night." Gawain said answering Tristan's question.
"Hm." Bors grunted and gave Gawain a piercing eye as he finishing his cup of ale.
"Over here Aurora!" Bors then screamed making Aurora look at him and Lancelot to shoot daggers at him. "What?" Bors said and shrugged his shoulders. "My lady goes around serving you lot ale." He finished, unimpressed by Lancelot's threatening gaze.
"I will get it for you." Lancelot growled as he rose from his seat and headed towards the bar.
In the corner of her eye, Aurora saw his dark figure moving towards her and she turned to greet him. She felt a small wave of relief go through her body when she saw him approached her.
"I was just coming over with some wine." Aurora said as Lancelot was close enough to hear her. Lancelot smiled at the vision of her with a flushed face and two stone jugs in her hands.
"I can take those." He said and relived Aurora of the wine jugs in her hands. "I am going back to the table anyway."
"Oh, fine." Aurora said and nodded her head.
"So what happened to Vanora?" Lancelot gave her a curios look.
"The healer needed her help with a difficult birth." Aurora answered and went to fetch more wine in a room behind the bar.
"So you are helping her?" Lancelot raised his voice so she could still hear him.
"Yes." Aurora yelled back and returned just in time to see the amused glint in Lancelot's eyes.
"Yes, Lancelot." Aurora reconfirmed and gave him a stern gaze at the same time. "I am helping her."
Lancelot nodded his head, biting back the comment on his tongue. "I should give these to Bors." He said instead, still with an amused smile on his handsome face.
"Yes. Thank you." Aurora answered before he walked back to knight's table.
Some time passed and Vanora had not come back yet. Some more people had come to the tavern; a few of them were women, most of them with the goal to find a suitor for the night.
Aurora was standing behind the bar, cleaning some mugs, with a good view over the tavern. Some women were trying their luck with the knights and Gawain and Galahad seemed to enjoy every bit of the women's company.
Over at the knights table, Lancelot was gambling with a man from the village, while Galahad and Gawain were very much seduced by the women in their laps.
"How many scars do you have?" The woman in Gawain's lap asked him.
"More then I can count." Gawain answered making the girl smile bewildered.
With a smile on Gawain's lips he turned to look at Lancelot who was sitting next to him and, who had just lost the game to his opponent.
"Bad luck this evening?" Gawain asked as Lancelot gave the man, who had won, the money he owed him.
"Not really." Lancelot said as the man walked away. "I just feel bad taking the villagers money." He continued with a smug smile. "It was so much more fun when it was Romans who lost their money to me."
Gawain shook his head, seeing right through Lancelot's lie.
"Nauw, how noble of you Lancie." Bors said with a mocking voice. "I wonder, how would it make you feel to take my money?"
Lancelot's smile widened as he heard Bors' hidden challenge and he leaned over the table to answer. "That wouldn't only make this evening better." Lancelot began. "It would also be easy." He added patronizing, but the teasing in his eyes was evident to everyone.
Laughing, Bors took some dices and through them on the table. "We'll see boy." Bors said and the knights shifted their attention to Bors and Lancelot.
"Best out of five." Lancelot said with a self-assured smile as the game began.
"Lancelot always has something up his sleeves." Gawain commented as Bors lost the first round. "I am sure he has lost all evening just so one of us would challenge him." He continued and pointed to Lancelot and Bors.
Lancelot raised his eyebrows at Gawain's conclusion. "You think so highly of me Gawain." He said with a smirk, but the long haired knight only laughed in return and raised his mug of wine to his lips.
A woman walked up to Lancelot smiling. "Maybe you need some good luck tonight." She said as Lancelot lost the second round to Bors. She gently put a hand on his shoulder, waiting for an invite to his lap.
Lancelot looked up to the woman with amusement in his eyes, but then shook his head in refusal.
"Not tonight." He answered and returned his attention to the game, while the woman left a little disappointed.
"Maybe you do need some luck." Tristan murmured as Lancelot lost another round.
"Yes, well." Lancelot looked at the numbers on the dices, which had made him lose the third round, and let out a sigh.
"It's not her luck I want." He added, referring to the woman before. He looked up briefly to the bar, his gaze caught on the woman standing behind it, a gaze which did not go unnoticed by the others.
With a sly smile on his lips, Bors emptied his mug and gave out a loud shout, demanding a refill. Aurora looked up from behind the bar and took one of the stone jugs in her hands.
Lancelot looked at her as she walked towards their table, his eyes lingering on her face and every curve of that body of hers.
"Wine?" Aurora asked when she reached the knight's table.
"Yes." Bors answered and took the stone jug with wine. "Keep 'em coming!" Bors continued making Aurora smile.
"I will." She answered and nodded, noticing the dices on the table at the same time.
"We were just saying that Lancelot needs some good luck." Gawain said making Aurora raise her eyebrows in surprise.
"You're losing?" She asked making Lancelot smirk in response. "It would appear so." He confessed making Bors laugh.
"Not that easy after all? Huh?" Bors said making the confident smile on Lancelot's lips even bigger than before.
"It is not over yet!" He uttered making the others shake their head amused.
Lancelot looked at Aurora, who still remained beside him; she was clearly amused since a smile played on her lips.
Sensing his gaze upon her, she turned her attention to Lancelot and looked right back at him.
"Will you wish him good luck Aurora?" Bors asked before he was about to throw the dices for the last time. "He needs it."
"Well," Aurora said with an obvious tone in her voice. "Lancelot will always have my luck."
Smiling she headed back to the bar while Lancelot's gaze remained on her all the way.
"You lost the whole game." Lancelot heard Bors say in the distance, suddenly feeling very indifferent to the outcome of the game.
"To bad." Lancelot said he started to rise from his seat.
"Well." Bors said and looked at Lancelot bewildered. "Should we say best out of seven?"
"No, it's fine." Lancelot answered simply and headed towards the bar as Bors stared at his back astonished.
Aurora was just about to serve some wine when she felt a hand coming around her waist.
"I didn't think noble women from Rome were allowed to serve mere servants?" Lancelot whispered into her ear.
The sudden surprise had been replaced with amusement as she could hear the teasing in his voice. She turned her head a little to face him even though all she could see was some of his features from the corner of her eye.
"You don't know everything that is hidden beneath our silk gowns." She answered with just as much teasing. She could feel his breath on her neck as she waited for his reply.
"No, but I know everything that is hidden under yours." His answer took her by surprise and she felt the air escape from her lungs. His hand still remained on her waist; she could feel it burning into her very skin. A small laugh escaped her lips and she turned around completely to face him.
"Are you trying to make me blush?" She whispered as she started to play gently with his beard.
"In that, I know, I would be unsuccessful." He said and leaned closer to her. She felt a sweet ache in her body and as she looked up into his eyes and there she saw the same blazing heat.
For a moment, Lancelot's advances had made the awkwardness between them disappear and all Aurora could feel was how much she wanted him.
However, the past cannot be forgotten.
"Have you thought more about what I said to you?" Lancelot asked and the moment between them were blown away by the harsh winds of reality.
"I have." Aurora whispered, all of a sudden avoiding his piercing gaze on her.
Lancelot clenched his jaw and smiled troubled. "I see."
His eyes remained on her, the tension growing until a man came towards them upset, making them release each other.
"More wine." He demanded and Aurora reached for the stone jugs, but Lancelot snatched them before her.
"Here." Lancelot growled the anger of being disturbed shinning form his eyes. Upon seeing this, the man swallowed and looked at the ground as he took the stone jugs from Lancelot.
"Thank you, Sir." He stuttered and walked as far away from them as he could as Lancelot turned around only to see Aurora's disapproving eyes.
"He had no manners." Lancelot said defending himself and walked closer to Aurora, who stood against the bar with crossed arms. However, the only reply he got from her was a raised eyebrow.
Lancelot sighed and looked over his shoulder, observing all the people and the noise which they created.
After a few moments of consideration, Lancelot walked up to Aurora and gently took one of her hands. "Come with me." He murmured to her ear. "Just, for a moment."
Aurora looked up at him and started to shake her head. "No, Lancelot, I have work to do." She replied in resistance.
"I promise you." Lancelot said with humour. "Those men can find ale and wine in their sleep." He finished and when Aurora saw the stubbornness in his eyes she yielded and let him lead her out from the tavern.
When they were outside they continued to a small ally behind the tavern and Aurora waited for him to let go of her.
"I promised Vanora I would help her!" Aurora said with a hushed voice when Lancelot let her go.
"Don't worry Aurora." Lancelot said with amusement in his voice. "They will manage."
Aurora sighed and gave him an odd glance. "Why did you drag me out here Lancelot?" She asked, nervous about what he would ask her.
Lancelot smirked looking away from her for a brief moment.
"Well, the noise in there was too loud to talk in." He answered plainly. "And I wanted to talk to you." He concluded.
Aurora felt a small panic reach her heart as she knew what Lancelot wanted to speak of, she also knew she had no answer to give.
"I have thought about your words Lancelot." Aurora began in an attempt to steer their conversation in the direction she wanted it.
"I just have so much to think about."
"What do you need to think about?" Lancelot asked, his natural suspicion making itself known.
"Everything." Aurora answered vaguely, not wanting to reveal to him her true troubles.
Lancelot snorted and walked up to her, taking her face in his hands.
"I don't understand Aurora. I know I hurt you, but it wasn't easy when you came back." Lancelot said with a frustrated tone.
"It has nothing to do with what happened when I returned." Aurora answered seeing the confusion on his eyes. "I understand your hesitation."
"Then what is it?" Lancelot broke in. "Why are you so uncertain?" He whispered and circled his thumb on her cheek. Aurora closed her eyes at his gentle touch, feeling her own despair over the choice she had before her.
When she didn't reply Lancelot sighed and let her go and she shivered when she felt the warmth from his body leave her as he backed away.
"Aurora." Lancelot said after a moment, "I might have been uncertain before, but not anymore." He continued raising his voice slightly.
"I know I told you it was over." Lancelot began. "But I was a fool...You have been in my head, Aurora, ever since the night you wouldn't let me share you bed." Lancelot said and Aurora smiled slightly at the memory.
"So don't you understand Aurora?" Lancelot continued and came closer to her once more, trying to find her eyes in the dark. "I can't stay away." He confessed and took a firm hold on her waist.
"So you have really decided?" Aurora whispered, clouds from her breath appearing.
"Aurora, I chose to stay." Lancelot continued and put his hand on her check.
"I have been confused Aurora." Lancelot said with honesty in his voice "But I just needed time to adjust to the thought of you being alive." He continued and Aurora looked up into his dark eyes only to find the same honesty which was in his voice.
"But when you told me to go." Lancelot continued in explanation. When
Aurora realized what he meant, she smiled slightly and looked down.
"I thought you wanted to leave." She whispered.
"I did." Lancelot answered. "And you knew me well enough to know what I wanted and you also cared enough to let me go..."
Lancelot put his hand on Aurora's chin and tilted her head up to face him.
"I don't need anything more than that." He whispered. "Or, I don't want anyone else then you." His final words were silent and determined and when he said them, small tears formed in her eyes.
How she had longed to hear those words, dreamt of them and now, when she finally had the chance to be with him again, she didn't know if she could.
Lancelot felt her tears as they rolled down on his hand and he gentle went to brush them away.
Aurora felt Lancelot's forehead against hers as he leaned closer and the silence was soothing, as were the closeness to him. In the midst of their emotions and the aftermath of Lancelot's declaration, the proximity between them seemed to shrink. Slowly their hands started to advance, exploring each other. Aurora felt her chest against Lancelot's as his hands came around her waist, pressing her body to his. Her heart was pounding hard against her ribs as his hands played with her hair, stroking her neck.
"Have your feelings changed?" Lancelot whispered surprising her.
She felt a sharp sting in her stomach at his question and without hesitation she uttered no.
"My feelings haven't changed." Aurora whispered in reply and she put her hand on his cheek to reassure him. The tension between them was intense as they observed one another.
She felt Lancelot playing with her hair, and then he took it all and placed it on one side of her neck. His rough hands lingered on her exposed skin and then he slowly leaned closer placing his lips on her neck. Her breath trembled as she felt his warm breath against her skin and her arms took an even stronger hold of his body.
Her response to his touch made Lancelot less hesitant and his hands came around her thighs and back. His lips continued to trail up her neck and when he reached her mouth he stopped and watched her, as if he was uncertain that this was what she wanted.
But there was nothing else she wanted more.
With confidence her lips searched for his and when she found them she could feel the warmth of his lips and breathe. There were no proximity between them anymore, they were as one, and she devoured the taste of his mouth and the roughness of his lips. Lancelot forgot his hesitance he had shown a brief second ago and she could feel his tongue exploring more of her mouth every second that passed.
This was the kiss Aurora had longed for since she had left that night and now there were no holding back.
"So you do still love me?" She heard Lancelot's ask when they broke the kiss and she opened her eyes to give him an angry look. "Unfortunely I can't stop." She said with some amusement in her eyes and Lancelot kissed her once more.
"It has been too long since I shared you bed." Lancelot murmured with a husky voice when he let go of her lips.
"Lancelot" Aurora managed to form from her lips; she could feel her mind slipping away further and further. "We shouldn't go too far." Her words made Lancelot stop and look at her, he understood what she meant but he only held onto her harder.
"Don't try to be reasonable Aurora." He said with a grin and tried to kiss her again.
"No, Lancelot." Aurora said and turned her head away from him.
"I would lie if I said that I didn't I want you in my bed." She began honestly. "But it is too soon, for us both."
"Not for me." Lancelot answered with a dangerous fire in his eyes and she could not hide the smile of satisfaction from her lips upon hearing his reply.
"We don't know how things will turn out." Aurora continued trying to release herself from his hold. She wanted no more then to spend the night with Lancelot but, she couldn't, not before she knew what she would do about her sister.
At her words she could sense Lancelot starting to back away a little. "This is not about me wanting to spend the night in someone's bed." He said in defence and Aurora shot him a confused look.
"That isn't what I think Lancelot. We just shouldn't do anything until we are sure." Aurora said.
"I am sure Aurora!" Lancelot said back to her determined, "But apparently you're not!" He exclaimed, sighing in frustration.
"What are you keeping from me?" Lancelot's suspicious tone didn't go unnoticed from her and quilt washed over her.
"I told you it was complicated." Aurora said trying to defend her ambiguous actions.
Her reply made Lancelot turn away from her with a bitter smile. "That you did." He almost growled.
Aurora observed Lancelot as he stood with his back towards her. She didn't know what to say and when Lancelot finally turned around, he shook his head in disappointment.
"When you are ready to tell me," Lancelot began and Aurora looked down to avoid his gaze. "then you know where I am." He finished and started to back away from her.
"Good night." She heard him say before the darkness devoured him. When he had left Aurora clenched her jaw, cursing her problems and her own difficulty of making a decision.
She sighed and closed her eyes in an attempt to gather her thoughts before returning to the tavern.
If leaving Britain meant she might not come back, how could she do it? Maybe this had been a possibility when Lancelot didn't want to be with her but now? When he, with such determined words had made it clear that he felt otherwise?
In a haze Aurora headed back to tavern, unaware of the wintery cold and the white snowflakes which landed on her skin.
"You did a good job tonight." Vanora said as they had finished cleaning for the night. Aurora looked at Vanora as she heard her voice, she was still deep in her own thoughts and had been so the whole evening.
"Thank you." Aurora answered and smiled slightly at the older woman. She put back the cleaned mugs in her hands and the moments earlier returned to her. When she had returned none of the knights had been in the tavern, something Aurora appreciated, she was sure all of them would have guessed what had happened. Especially since Lancelot was missing as well.
As they left the bar, they walked side by side to Bors, who now stood and waited for Vanora. Upon seeing Bors' annoyed expression the women looked at each other nervously.
"Darlin' what's wrong?" Vanora said as they reached the large man.
"It's the usual." He said and laughed to lighten the mood. "Arthur needs us for a mission."
Aurora felt a familiar feeling run through her body, worry. "What kind of a mission?" Aurora asked faster than Vanora.
"Nothing dangerous." Bors said and gave Vanora a comforting pat on her cheek. "Just a little scout mission to see if there are any Saxons left."
Vanora gave Bors an angry look. "Nothing dangerous, what if they are more than you think?!" She half asked and half screamed.
"I knew that we should have left when we had the chance." Vanora continued and stormed off.
"God, I love her temper." Bors murmured to himself but Aurora heard it nonetheless.
Bors were about to go after her when Aurora stopped him. "Will Lancelot be going with you?" She asked with a concerned voice.
Bors stopped and gave her a sympathetic look. "As always." Was his only reply. "Good night." Bors said and left her to run after Vanora.
Aurora gazed after him and felt a twitch in her stomach as she saw Bors and Vanora reunite in the distance. A wave of emptiness ran through her body and she started to walk back to the fort.
The situation was too similar to her not to be affected. It remembered her of her past with Lancelot and different feelings went though her mind. How many nights had she not waved off Lancelot, how many nights had she not spent worried that he would not return?
Her fingers touched her lips as she thought of the moment with Lancelot earlier this evening, the thought of his touch increasing the storm of emotions in her body.
They had been through so much, Aurora thought to herself and closed her eyes as the memories flashed before her eyes.
Some bad, some good...
"You stupid pride!" She blurted out."It is okay for you to sleep around to test me! But I can't doubt my feelings toward the most infamous womanizer in Rome!"
"I think." He said. "That I will never be good enough for you!"
"Come back to me?" She said looking at him.
"I will never truly leave you" he smirked.
"Promise"
"I promise."
"I just think that the burial you had in mind, perhaps isn't proper for my father,"
"What? Is not the ground were our friends lie, the knights who fought to make sure you are safe, good enough for your Roman father!"
"I grieved…you remained in my memories."
"I am not the only one you are leaving next time." she said and Lancelot looked puzzled.
"Who else?" he asked.
"Our child"
"Lancelot?"
"I wanted to make sure you were alright" he said.
"I went to look for you" she responded.
"I have been here the entire time."
"I killed our child."
"Don't even dare to say that in my presence."
"I thought..." Lancelot began and stepped closer to her.
"I know." She cut in and smiled comforting "But, I am not." She began. "I am alive."
"With you, I always felt free."
"Marry me". He blurted out.
"What?"
"Marry me?"
"Yes, I will marry you."
"So don't you understand Aurora? I can't stay away."
Aurora opened her eyes, her mind tired but she continued to walk. The streets were empty, empty and dark while the town slept.
"I can't stay away"
Aurora continued to hear in her head.
"Don't you understand Aurora? I can't stay away..."
With a final sigh Aurora made her decision. Too much had happened to be ignored and she couldn't live like this anymore. When she stopped outside the door, Aurora knew she made the right decision.
With one final breath she knocked on the door. She could see worry in his eyes as he opened, weariness and when he saw her slight surprise.
They remained silent, both observing the other until Aurora looked down defeated. With a small smile she walked over the threshold, stopping in front on Lancelot and placed a hand on his cheek.
After a brief moment Lancelot took her hand in his and closed his eyes and Aurora walked closer to him, feeling his hands coming around her waist.
"Are you staying?" Lancelot whispered and looked deep into her eyes.
Aurora only returned his gaze and nodded and then Lancelot gently closed the door behind them.
Okey, did you like it? :) Love to hear what you all think, its been a looong journey! However, there will be one or two more chapters, more things will happen, they still have a few problems to sort out! ;)
Love birello