A/N: Ok, I take back what I said last chapter. This and the Helluva Boss pilot might be my longest chapters for this story. And since I don't feel like separating this into parts, it's all going into one chapter.
Hopefully by the end of this, my fingers won't be fucked. Enjoy the chapter.
(Pentagram city)
Zeke was jumping on rooftops trying to get to the happy hotel. While he was a bit tired, he still wanted to give Katherine his "present" before he hit the sack. He looked out at the already populated streets of pentagram city and couldn't help but sigh.
"Not even 5 minutes and this place is already bustling with demons. Hm?" Zeke looked up when he heard screaming, and saw a new sinner falling from hell, and he fell face-first onto the road and is surprised to see that he is still "alive".
The demon checked himself over, wanting to confirm that he was ok, and to his relief, he was. "I-I'm alive? I'm alive!"
"Not exactly buddy. You're as dead as the rest of us down here." Zeke said as he jumped down in front of the newly made sinner, scaring him a bit.
"W-What do you mean?" The sinner asked with fright at the sight of the dragon sinner.
"Pretty sure it's obvious, but I'll just say it bluntly. You're in hell buddy." Zeke said uncaringly.
"What?! What do you mean I'm in he-" The sinner didn't get to process Zeke's words for long, because he soon got run over by a taxi, splashing the sinner's blood on Zeke's form.
Zeke groaned in annoyance as he jumped up on a building to see the taxi stopping, and Angel Dust walked out from the passenger seat. Thanks to his enhanced hearing he could clearly hear the conversation he was having with the driver, which made him narrow his eyes. "Heh. Thanks for the fun time, hot stuff!"
Angel Dust pushes his hand through his hair and replies with a slightly concerned voice. "Yeah, yeah, listen. Keep this discreet, you hear me? I can't let it get out I'm offerin' my services to randos on the street! It was a quick cash grab. Ya got that?"
Travis just scoffed before responding. "Pfft! Whatever you say, slut! Hehehehehehehe!"
Angel Dust pretended to be offended and started to mock Travis. "Ouch! Ooh! Such an insult! Let me know when you've come up with something more creative to call me, you sack of poorly packaged horse shit! Tell the missus I said "hi", ya hear?"
Travis grumbled under his breath, before speeding down the street, disappearing from sight. As Travis angrily drives off, Angel looks behind him to see a vending machine for his drugs. He goes for the angel dust and just as he gets a hold of it, a random demon runs by and steals his drugs.
"Yoink!" The random demon said with Angel's drugs in his hand.
"Hey! The fuck!" Angel yelled at the demon.
"Up yours, drag show!" The demon said with no fear as he was about to run off, but a large boulder fell from the sky, crushing the feathered demon alongside Angel's drugs, causing Angel to gasps.
"OH MY GOD!" The spider demon leaned down to pick up what was left of his pack of drugs, not even caring for the crushed demon as Angel dawned a devastated look on his face. "MY DRUGS! Damn it!"
"Angel, I thought we talked about this. If Charlie or Vaggie find out that you're doing shit like this behind their back then they're going to be upset." A familiar voice spoke up, and Angel looked up on the boulder to see Zeke sitting down and looking at him with narrowed eyes.
Angel started to sweat as he saw the dragon sinner and he tried to explain himself. "Oh come on Zeke, you know I can't keep going clean for long. Besides, what would people think if they found out I was going clean?"
"Ugh, I do not need to be dealing with this right now. Extermination day just fucking ended, and your out doing shit like this? What a fucking drag." Zeke complained tiredly. He desperately wanted to go home and lay down on his bed, and right now Angel dust was keeping him from doing just that.
"Oh come on Zekey, you don't gotta be all upset like that. If you want I can make it worth your while~" Angel said in a lustful purr.
"Ok first off, I'm straight, so piss off. And 2, I'm still telling Charlie about this." Zeke said in annoyance, making Angel curse under his breath.
"Ugh, alright look, if you behave on the way back, then I'll consider not telling Charlie about this. What do yo-" Zeke said, but out of nowhere, another boulder hit Zeke, sending him crashing to the ground. The dragon sinner lifted the large rock off of him, and his eyes flashed a menacing red. "Alright, I'm only going to ask this once. WHO'S GOT THE FUCKING BALLS!"
An explosion in the distance caught Zeke and Angel dust's attention, and they could see a large warship destroying buildings. "Seriously? I swear, that damn snake is starting to get on my nerves."
(Inside the warship)
Inside the ship, a lone figure was piloting the warship while cackling maniacally, while being surrounded by multiple walking talking eggs.
The figure was a tall snake demon with charcoal grey skin, black slitted eyes with red sclera, and a mouth of sharp yellow teeth. He wore a pinstriped jacket that matched his skin color with yellow lining, a yellow undershirt, and black fingerless gloves. He also wore a top hat which had the same teeth and eyes as him, but it only had one eye.
This was Sir Pentious, the self-proclaimed "Architect of destruction" and a sinner demon with dreams of ruling over hell one day.
"Ahahahahahahahahahahah! Those other cowardly ssssinners dare not hinder my territorial take over! A wise decision! The power of my machines are unmatched! No other demon can compare to the likesss of I! The spider demon said while continuing his rampage.
"Gee! That was pretty swell, boss!" An egg boi said, praising his boss.
"You really showed them what for! I liked when you shot them with your uhh, ray gun!" Another egg boi said, but he got slapped away by Pentious.
"I wish he'd shoot me with his ray gun!" Another egg boi said while being patted on the back by one of his brothers.
"At this rate, I will seize control of the entire west side of The Pentagram by day's end! (pushes a few buttons) And nothing, not a single beast in this inferno of suffering will be able to take back this empire from my constrictive grasp!" Pentious yelled with glee.
An Egg Boi suddenly pops on screen and pops open a bottle of whiskey onto the snake sinner's face. Sir Pentious proceeds to swat said Egg Boi aside before throwing the squeezed Egg Boi aside as well.
"Hell will be mine! And everybody will know the name of Sir Pen-" Pentious tried to say, but was cut off when a voice yelled.
"EDGELORD!" A female voice shouted.
Sir Pentious quickly got offended and immediately turned to two of his egg boi's. "Pardon?! Who said that?! What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses?! SSSSpeak up!
"That wasn't us, Mr. Bossman." One of the egg boi's said in fear, but that did little to calm down Pentious.
Suddenly, a small bomb with a print of a skull on it breaks through the snake sinner's ship. It then lands right between Pentious and the two Egg Boiz, and the bomb proceeds to blow up, leaving red smoke behind.
Pentious coughed heavily and tried to clear his vision with his hand. As the smoke clears up, the owner of the scream is revealed to be a woman as she prepares another bomb in hand.
The woman was a cyclops demon with white skin with freckles, strawberry blonde hair tied in a high ponytail, a single eye with an x-shaped pupil with red sclera, sharp teeth and an hourglass figure. She wore a red torn crop top over a one shouldered black bra, a torn red miniskirt, ripped leggings, and a fingerless red elbow glove on her left arm. She also wears a red slipper on her right foot, and a heeled cowboy boot on her left.
"You lookin' for a fight, old man?! Why don't you get that tinker toy bullshit off my man's turf, before I smash it?!" The woman yelled, before a large pipe fell on top of an already dead Egg Boi, causing Sir Pentious and the woman to momentarily look at the carnage.
"...More~" The cyclop demon said while smirking at Pentious.
"Oh! You wanna go, missy?! Well, I'm happy to oblige! hahaha!" Pentious laughed mockingly as his egg boi's started to surround the woman, who smirked as she readied another bomb in her hand.
(With Zeke and Angel)
"Huh? Well I'll be damned, I think Cherri bomb is up there fighting Pentious. Can't be surprised really." Zeke said with a smirk, but was concerned when Angel dust started to walk towards the airship. "Where are you going?"
"Uh...Where does it look like? I'm going to go back up my girl up there. I don't care if you're stronger than me hot stuff, I'm not budging on this." Angel said with narrowed eyes as he looked at Zeke.
"Angel, as much as I would love to let you do that I can't. If Charlie or Vaggie get wind of this then your ass is grass. Well... Vaggie might beat the shit out of you, but I know Charlie wouldn't." The dragon said with a raised eyebrow, making Angel dust a bit angry.
"So what do you expect me to do huh Zeke?! Leave her to fight that egg eating piece of shit?!" Angel said with anger.
"I never said that damnit. (Sighs) I know I'm gonna regret this, but I'll go back her up." Zeke said, shocking the spider demon.
"Wait, seriously?" Angel asked.
"Yeah, I might as well. Besides, it'll probably be better for me to go rather than you." Zeke said with annoyance before he unfurled his wings. "Look, I'm already in a bad mood, and you causing more trouble is just gonna piss me off more. So just stand back and stay out of the way, or better yet just go back to the hotel and let me handle this."
With that, the dragon sinner flew towards the airship, leaving the spider demon alone on the street.
(Airship)
Cherri Bomb was being surrounded by a dozen more egg boi's, making her roll her eyes in annoyance. Every time she killed ten, twenty more would just show up, and it was starting to get on her nerves.
She was about to throw more bombs at the egg boi's and possibly bring down the entire air ship, but then she saw in the corner of her eye, Pentious was holding a large rocket launcher and aiming it straight at her.
"It's been fun Cherri Bomb, but I'm afraid this is where we part waysssss!" Pentious said before he pulled the trigger and fired a rocket towards the cyclops.
Cherri bomb was going to attempt to dodge out of the way, until a loud crash was heard. Suddenly, Zeke appeared and kicked the incoming rocket high in the air and causing the ceiling of the airship to explode.
Zeke rushed towards Cherri bomb and pulled her away from her previous position just as rubble came crashing down. Zeke looked at the cyclops, who he realized was pinned under him. "What's up Cherri? I see you're having fun like always."
Cherri looked up from her position, and saw her favorite dragon looking down at her with a grin. "Zeke?! Damn, I haven't seen you in a good while. Did you come to help your favorite party girl out?"
Zeke then lifted Cherri on her feet and patted himself down. "Yeah I am. Me and Angel saw what was happening from a distance. Thanks to certain circumstances, I came to help you out to deal with this damn snake. Hope you don't mind."
"Hell no! You being here is just as good as Angel if he was here. Besides, this is your territory too. We gotta teach this shit stain a lesson on why you don't fuck with our turf!" Cherri said while tossing a bomb in her hand up and down.
"Hehe, you're right about that." Zeke said, before he started to gather flames in his hand, and they began to take shape. Soon a weapon was revealed in the dragon sinner's hands, and the sight of it made Cherri Bomb drool.
The weapon was a large demonic double bladed scythe with jagged edges, a crimson blade on both ends, a black shaft keeping the weapon together, and the scythe was emitting a large amount of fire from both of the blades.
"What the fuck is that! Let me use it, come on dragon boy, please!" Cherri gave Zeke the look that Katherine always used on him to get her way sometimes.
The great and powerful puppy eyes technique.
"No need to do that Cherri, I was gonna let you use it anyway. I made this baby myself, so I wanted someone to take it out for a test drive." Zeke said while handing his scythe to the cyclops, who eagerly grabbed the blade and spun it around like a practiced pro.
"Oh I'm going to have so much fun with this! Thanks Zeke~" Cherri said with a wide grin on her face as she kissed the dragon sinner on his lips, a kiss that he returned. Just then Pentious and his egg boi's surrounded the pair, and they stood back to back with one another.
"Ah, if it isn't mister Wilsssson. Whatever, it matters not. You will soon perish like-" Pentious tried to say, but nearly got his head blown off due to Zeke creating a gun and shooting the snake sinner's head.
"Look Pentious, I'm not exactly in the best of moods right now, so if you don't mind I'd like to get to the part where we kick your sorry ass into the dirt." The dragon said as his eyes glowed red.
"I second that. I want to take this baby out for a spin. Metaphorically and very literally." Cherri said while pointing Zeke's scythe at Pentious.
"Fine then, have it your way! Egg boi's, time to prove your worth!" Pentious said, and all of his minions charged at the duo.
Said duo grinned sadistically, before charging at the eggs with confidence.
(Scene change: 666 news station)
"Why do I get the feeling that Zeke is doing something stupid without me again?" Katherine said with a raised eyebrow. She trusted her gut feeling, and her eyebrow started twitching slightly at the thought. She shrugged, before going back to looking at her phone. "Oh well, nothing I can do about it."
"You know Katherine, you could at least care a little more about what we're doing here." Vaggie said while trying to fix Charlie's bowtie.
"You literally dragged me along before I could get my birthday present from Zeke, So excuse me for throwing a pissy fit. I still love you guys though." Katherine said while looking at Charlie and Vaggie with a deadpan.
The moment the succubus had arrived back at the hotel, Charlie had practically dragged her inside the limo and they drove to 666 news station. They were there so that Charlie could make the hotel known, and hopefully get some new guests at the hotel.
"Oh right, happy birthday by the way Kat! Where's Zeke by the way? You're normally by his side." Charlie said full of excitement.
"Oh, I'm not exactly sure. I left him alone when our little show cut off, and I went straight to the hotel to hopefully get my present. I'm sure he's fine though." Katherine said while shrugging. She wasn't concerned, after all Zeke can take care of himself.
"If you say so." Vaggie said, before finishing with Charlie's bowtie. "Ok, do you remember what to say."
Charlie took a deep breath, before she smiled excitedly. "Yes, let's do this."
"Look if you need any help, then just look at me and I'll mouth it to you ok? Hell maybe Kat could even help in some way." Vaggie said with worry for her girlfriend.
"Oh come on Vaggie, I know what to say. I just feel like we need to...I don't know, make things sound more exciting." At that, Charlie gasped and smiled brightly as she thought of an idea.
However before she could voice it, Katherine quickly cut in. "Charlie, sweety, as much as I would love to hear you sing, I'm pretty sure now is not the best time to do that."
"Oh come on Kat. You both know I love expressing myself through song." Charlie said with a pout.
"She's right hun. Life isn't a musical, and since you're doing something like promoting the hotel, you need to take this seriously." Vaggie nodded at Katherine's words.
"Oh fine, but I have these other ideas in what I want to say." Charlie then took a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Vaggie while bouncing on her feet. "The highlighted bits are the best parts."
Katherine feeling curious, walked over to Vaggie and looked over her shoulder, and she deadpanned at the paper. "Um, Charlie? They're all highlighted. And...I see you made a drawing too."
"Yes! That's the happy ending! Everyone is smiling and happy and-" Charlie started to ramble excitedly, until Katherine spoke.
"Look Charlie, I know you're excited but can you please stay focused." Katherine said while patting Charlie on the head.
"She's right hun. Just please follow the talking points we went over, ok? And please, do. Not. Sing." Vaggie pulled the princess close, making their faces touch as the moth demon looked into Charlie's eyes.
"Ok, Fine. I'll just have to resort to my impeccable improv skills." Charlie said, before walking towards Katy killjoy with a smile on her face.
Meanwhile, Vaggie looked on with slight worry, until Katherine put an arm on her shoulder. "Don't worry Vaggie, I'm sure she'll be fine. And if something does happen, then I'll see if I can step in."
"Yeah, you're right. Hopefully we won't have to deal with anything too drastic." Vaggie said while blushing slightly at the contact.
Charlie walked towards Katy killjoy and stuck her hand out in a friendly manner. "Hi, I'm Charlie. It's a pleasure to meet you."
"...Katie Killjoy." Katy said simply, before blowing out a puff of smoke from her cigarette and tossing it away. "I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you but that would be a lie. Also, you can put that hand down. I don't touch the gay's, because I actually have standards."
"Actually I'm bisexual, but whatever you say." Charlie said nervously.
"Listen, my time is money so I'll keep this short. You're not here because we wanted you here. You're here because Jeffrey couldn't make it to his cannibal cooking segment. You may be some royal big shot, but that doesn't mean jack shit to me, and I'm too rich and influential to give a rats ass about what a tux wearing demon princess wants to advertise. So don't get cute with me honey, or I will fucking break you." Killjoy said while clenching her hand into a fist at the end.
During her rant, Charlie looked over at Tom Trench and noticed him shaking his head disapprovingly at who he assumed was Killjoy. Before Charlie could say anything else, the camera crew turned the cameras back on, signaling that they were now live.
What followed next was an absolute train wreck in Katherine's opinion. It started off fairly decent when Charlie started explaining her idea to redeem sinners with her hotel. That was where things went to shit, because everyone in the station started laughing at her. She could even pick up the faint sounds of laughter from outside the building.
Then what Vaggie and Katherine dreaded would happen started happening, making Vaggie palmed her face. "Oh no..."
Charlie began singing. The problem with that was the fact that she was doing it on live TV...where everyone in hell was watching. By the end of it, Charlie was panting in exhaustion as everyone looked at her with a mixture of disbelief and disgust.
"Wow...that was fucking shit!" A demon with a top hat said mockingly as everyone in the station began to laugh loudly at Charlie, especially killjoy and Trench.
"What in the Nine Circles makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?! You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good?! Just... because?!" Killjoy mocked while still laughing.
"Well, we have a few patrons already, who believe in our cause and they've shown incredible progress!" Charlie said with an almost smug smirk.
"Oh and who might they be?" Killjoy asked mockingly towards the princess.
"Oh, just someone named Angel Dust and-" Charlie tried to say but was cut off when Tom Trench spoke up quickly, way too quickly for Katherine's liking.
The pornstar?" Tom asked.
"You fucking would Tom." Katie said while giving a menacing glare towards Tom, before turning back to Charlie. "In any case, that's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you could get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube."
"Oh but I beg to differ!" Charlie began to count on her fingers. "He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now. I'm sure he won't be causing trouble anytime soon."
"Alright then. Who are these the other "patrons" you mentioned?" Killjoy asked.
But before Charlie could answer the anchor woman, the News staff suddenly called in killjoy's earpiece. "BREAKING NEWS!!!"
Killjoy smirked before she shoved Charlie away and turned to the camera. "We are receiving word that two new players have entered the ongoing turf war! Let's go to the live feed."
The live feed fizzled for a while, before and the feed showed Zeke stomping on an egg boi while piercing 3 more with the tip of his tail. The sight of the dragon sinner on screen put almost everyone in the station into a frenzy, everyone except for Charlie and Vaggie who looked shocked at the sight. Katherine was currently looking at her boyfriend on screen and facepalmed. "Damnit babe, what the fuck are you doing out there?"
However, what made things worse for Charlie was the fact that Angel dust appeared on screen being shown throwing a grenade at an egg boi as he laughed.
"Ah...crap baskets." Charlie said feeling defeated at the sight of her shared partner on screen, as well as Angel Dust.
"Hehehe, It looks like the one who just joined the battle are none other than the infamous crimson inferno, Zeke Wilson and, Oh, well would you look at that. None other than porn actor, Angel Dust!" Katie said mockingly, before she turned, to Charlie as she shakes her fist. "What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid, right now."
Charlie in a futile attempt, tried to cover the feed with her body, but to no avail. "No wait, don't look at this!"
"Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival. Tell us, how does it feel to be a total failure? At least that sexy dragon is doing good for himself. The last thing I would expect him to do is to go to this waste of space you call a project. Hm, maybe I should snag that hunk of meat for myself."Everyone in the room starts bursting into laughter.
Charlie hearing Killjoy's words, quickly got angry, and gave Killjoy a death glare while partially transforming into her full demon form. "Listen here you nippy droning, dizzy-eyed spider reject. I'll tolerate you insulting my dream to help insignificant trash like you, but what I won't stand, is you trying to make a move on my man. So I would suggest you lay off you dried up, foot-licking bitch!"
Everybody instantly stops laughing while Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench looked at her with wide eyes. Vaggie and Katherine over to the side looked at Charlie with pride, knowing that she was taking Zeke's advice to not take shit from anyone to heart.
Charlie finally realized what she said and tried to backpedal, but the damage was already done. "Ehehe...Um, Oops.
Killjoy finally shook herself out of her stuper and dawned an expression of pure rage as she took on her demonic form, as she looms over Charlie, who looked up at her with a steely gaze.
(Back at the fight)
"Fucking damnit Angel, I thought I told you to stay put or go back to the damn hotel! This is literally the exact opposite of what I fucking said damnit!" Zeke yelled as he punched the ground hard, and multiple earth spikes shot from the ground and impaled a multitude of egg boi's.
"Hey! You guys looked like you were having fun and I wanted in on the action, can you blame me! Hell I know Cherri's having fun, I mean just look at her!" Angel said while looking towards Cherri Bomb's position while firing two tommyguns towards the eggs.
True to Angel's words Zeke looked over and saw Cherri twirling his scythe like a woman possessed and cutting through egg boi's left and right, all while having a massive grin on her face. The cyclops then jumped in the air and pressed a button on the shaft of the Scythe, and the weapon suddenly split into two pieces, with both still being held together by a black chain.
"Hahahahahaha! Zeke, you really need to let me have this thing! It's fucking awesome!" Cherri yelled as she spun her whole body around, causing the chain-linked scythes to spin along with her and splitting apart all of the eggs around her as she landed on her feet.
"See, she's having fun! Don't be such a downer dragon boy! Now come on, help me kill these fuckers!" Angel said while chucking another grenade at a pair of egg boi's.
"Ugh, I swear you're such a drag!" Zeke yelled before he made a pair of guns with his flames and started killing egg boi's left and right. However they had to take cover as Pentious aimed another rocket at the trio. "Shit! Find cover!"
The snake sinner fired a rocket at the trio just as they hid behind a patch of rubble Big enough to cover them from the seemingly endless army. Meanwhile, Cherri pulled out a rocket launcher from seemingly nowhere as she spoke up. "Hey thanks for the back up you two."
"Ha, no problem, this is the best action I've seen in fucking ages." Angel said in a relaxed tone, just as Cherri fired a rocket towards some nearby eggs.
"By the way, Zeke told me about these circumstances you seem to be in. What the fuck happened man, I thought you up and died or some shit." Cherri said while pulling the pin on a bomb in her hand before throwing it.
"I fucking wish! Zeke and his broads have got me staying at this shitty hotel on the other side of town." Angel said while handing said dragon and cyclops a bomb, which they took. "They said I could stay rent free if I play nice."
"Motherfucker, you'd be lucky if you're even allowed to stay at all after this shit!" Zeke yelled while tossing his bomb the same time Cherri did as a large explosion went off.
"Oh come on Zekey, you know what I mean! I mean come on, no fights, no pranks, no "problematic language" her words, not mine. These crazy bitches are no fun, and I've been clean for two fucking weeks damnit! Well sorta clean, Just clean as you can get from a shitload of Bolivian marching powder!" Angel complained while firing two tommyguns at incoming eggs.
"Look out!" Zeke yelled before pushing Angel out of the way, just as Pentious wrapped a chain around him and pulled him aside. Pentious was about to go for the kill, however Zeke set his body ablaze and melted the chains off, just as Cherri kicked Pentious away.
Pentious got up quickly and shouted angrily while adjusting his tie. "You bastards have no classss! In war, The side remembered is the side with the most ssstyle!
"Pfft, Or the side that ain't dead!" Cherri said while she decapitated an Egg Boi.
"Speakin' a style, is your hat like, alive or something?" Angel asked.
"Oh! Well, that's none of your GOD DAMN BUSSSSINESS! Now, is it?" Pentious yelled at the end, feeling miffed at the demon's question.
"Hah, would that make your hat the top and you the bottom?" Angel said while laughing with Cherri, while causing Zeke to chuckle a bit.
A sign that says "Loser" can be seen in the background pointing at Sir Pentious as an Egg Boi acknowledges the roast.
Pentious feeling enraged, shouted at the trio. "I'm going to blow you all to bitssss!"
Zeke just scoffed before Cherri handed him his scythe, and they transformed into their duel wield state. "I'd like to see you try, asshat."
Angel notices an Egg Boi with a tentacle launcher, which causes him to push Cherri and Zeke out of the way as he gets tangled up in all the tentacles.
"Not so cocky now, are we?!" Pentious asked mockingly while getting close to Angel.
Angel Dust unamused, looked at the snake sinner with boredom, before revealing another set of arms and pointing a tommygun at Pentious and firing. "Y'know, you really gotta watch what comes outta ya mouth. I've been making these sex jokes the whole time, it's just insulting."
"So, you think he's gonna get in a lotta trouble for this Zeke?" Cherri asked.
"Hell, he'd be lucky if Vaggie doesn't rip him apart." Zeke said while putting his scythe back together.
Angel retracts his third set of arms and shrugs his shoulders. "Eh, what's one little brawl gonna cause?"
"I hardly call this a brawl to begin with." Zeke said with a deadpan.
(666 News station)
Alarms were going off as Charlie kicked Killjoy onto the desk, before tackling her to the ground and started landing punch after punch onto the spider demon's face.
Meanwhile, Tom Trench was screaming as he was somehow on fire. "WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME!!!"
On the side, Katherine was getting increasingly annoyed at the chaos happening around her. Sure she may love, or even enjoy causing a bit of chaos here and there, but only when it was with her favorite dragon. And since Zeke wasn't here with her, nothing was really holding her back from letting out her frustrations.
And no, they weren't the pleasurable kind. Katherine got increasingly more annoyed as she took off her glasses, but kept her eyes closed, trying to tune out the noise.
(Pentagram City Streets)
"I'm glad you guys haven't changed. I know damn well you two are my favorite guys to party with." Cherri said while hitting Angel in the shoulder, while wrapping an arm around Zeke's neck.
"Ha, you know it sugar tits." Angel said while reloading his tommygun.
"Hehe, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying myself." Zeke said while conjuring his guns.
"You two ready to finish this?" Cherri said while catching a bomb in her hand.
"Oh I was born ready." Angel said with a smirk.
"Both of you try and keep up, will you." Zeke grinned evily, and they all charged at the egg boi's and Pentious, who began shouting as they clashed.
(666 News Station)
"ENOUGH!!!" Katherine finally hit her breaking point as she opened her eyes, and they glowed a menacing pink as a massive amount of murderous intent washed over the entire building.
Everyone froze as a huge pressure bogged down on their shoulders, causing everyone to shake in fear, while some passed out due to them being unable to handle the pressure. Katherine was deliberately making sure her aura didn't affect Charlie and Vaggie, but said duo could still feel her power.
Everyone could feel an aura of death around the succubus. Demon's had limited immortality, so they would just be able to put themselves back together with enough time. Unknown to the demons however, Katherine was a direct counter to that ability, thanks to her eyes.
Whenever she traced the red lines she saw when removing her glasses, she found out that no matter how much time had passed, the demon wouldn't be able to regenerate no matter what. The same could be said when she traced the lines across the entire body. It was similar to how an exorcist would kill a demon with their spears in a way, that being the demons would die permanently upon her tracing the red lines.
Katherine looked throughout the entire room, and red lines covered everything in her vision. Killjoy froze as the succubi's gaze fell upon her, and Katherine smirked as pink smoke started to take shape in her hand.
Taking form in Katherine's hands, was a pink whip with spikes running along the rope connected to a black handle. The whip was also emitting pink smoke that made everyone in the room very scared and aroused.
The succubus suddenly lashed her whip out towards Katie Killjoy's neck and pulled her towards her direction. The anchor woman was about to scramble to her feet so she could get away, but Katherine appeared in front of her and pressed her foot down on her face while tugging on the whip still around her neck and causing the spikes to dig into Killjoy's neck.
"You know, I've been holding myself back ever since you started mocking Charlie and her dream, but that last comment about my man really pissed me off. Someone so insignificant like you doesn't have the privilege to even lick the dirt off his shoes." Katherine glared menacingly at Killjoy, who was struggling to break free of the succubi's hold but to no avail.
Although Killjoy bit her lip as she was getting slightly aroused for some reason.
"Be grateful that I don't feel like killing you here and now, because I don't feel like getting your filthy blood on my clothes. But that doesn't mean you're scott free, bitch. As your punishment, you're going to lick my feet and call me mistress." Katherine said with an evil grin. This bitch mocked her harem sister, so in return, she would humiliate this insect for all of hell to see.
Katherine then took off her right shoe, before hovering her foot in front of the spider demon's face as a purple aura surrounded her form. "Well? What are you waiting for? I suggest you get to it~"
Reluctantly, Killjoy did what she was told, with all of hell watching the display. "I'm sorry for my transgression against you, mistress. Please forgive me."
Katherine grinned in sadistic pleasure at the sight of the anchor woman forming tears in her eyes as she started licking her foot. While she loved getting treated like a whore in the bedroom with her favorite dragon, she wouldn't lie that being the dominant one from time to time did turn her on a bit.
Especially when she was having a threesome with Charlie and Zeke. The princess could be quite the screamer in the bedroom sometimes~
"That's a good bitch. Now remember, the only reason I let you live is because I allowed you to. Now sleep." Katherine tightened her whip's hold on Killjoy's neck, and she passed out due to the lack of air.
"Now then" Katherine put her glasses back on as she turned to Charlie and Vaggie. "Let's go pick up those two. I'm sure Zeke had a good reason to enter that turf war."
They nodded, before the trio walked outside to enter a white limousine, and they drove off to the ending turf war.
Unbeknownst to the trio, their little program had caught the attention of two overlords in front of a TV store, looking at the entertainment on screen. They nodded before they sunk into their shadows and disappeared from sight.
(Scene change: Limousine)
The royal family limousine can be seen driving back to the hotel. Charlie can be seen hugging her knees and looking out the window, whith her jacket being ruined due to her fight with Killjoy. Meanwhile, Vaggie sat next to her, glaring furiously at Angel Dust.
Katherine was currently using Zeke as a seat as she tinkered away at her phone, all while Zeke had an embarrassed expression on his face. Charlie just sighs as Vaggie's eye twitches at Angel Dust, who was amusing himself by playing with the car window roller repeatedly as Vaggie looked at him with a look of rage.
"...What?" Angel asked, taking notice of Vaggie's anger, while Zeke and Katherine just deadpanned.
"What? WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?!" Vaggie yelled while ripping off bits of her hair.
Angel just sighed before replying while rolling his eyes. "I owed my girl buddy a solid! Isn't that a "redeeming quality"? Helping friends with stuff?"
"Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide!" Vaggie yelled before turning to Zeke. "And you! What the hell were you even doing there in the first place?!"
Zeke pinched the bridge of his nose before answering. "In all honesty, I wasn't even going to bother joining the turf war until we found out that a friend of ours was part of it. Angel was about to go himself to help her out, but I convinced him to let me go instead. And things would have worked out too, but *points at Angel dust* this fucker decided to ignore my words and charge right into the turf war."
"Wait, so even when Zeke told you to go home, you still participated? Katherine looked up and gave Angel a scrutinizing look.
"Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred, hahahahahah! It wasn't that bad, anyway." Angel proceeded to play with the button of the car window roller, until Vaggie throws an unfolded pocket knife at the window roller while giving him a death glare.
"Aw come on, I had to! My credibility was on the line! I mean, what kind of reputation would I have if people found out I was tryna go clean? It just throws out my entire persona." Angel said while pushing up his chest fluff.
"Your credibility? What about the hotel's?! The stunt you two pulled, made us look like a fucking joke!" Vaggie said angrily. Zeke patted Katherine's sides, causing her to pout as she got up. Zeke sat between Vaggie and Charlie, before hugging the moth demon and princess close, making them blush.
"For what it's worth you two, I'm really sorry about this. If I would've known you guys were going to the news station to make the hotel more known, then I would have stayed out of trouble." Zeke said apologetically, causing a slight smile to appear on Charlie's face and an embarrassed blush to dawn Vaggie's face.
Angel Dust however couldn't read the mood as he spoke up mockingly. "No, no, no, babe. Jokes are funny. We made you look...uh, sad and pathetic! Like an orphan...with no arms...or legs...Oh! With progeria! Oh great! Now I'm bummed thinkin' about it! This thing have any liquor?"
"Can you please just try to take this seriously?!" Vaggie said angrily while standing.
"Fine, I'll try. Just don't get your taco in a twist, baby!" Angel said while snapping his fingers at Vaggie, who was still glaring at him.
Vaggie's glare intensified as she asked with more anger in her voice. "Was that you trying to be sexist, or racist?"
"Probably both Vaggie. I wouldn't doubt it if he tried to piss you off more than you already are. Also, we're lucky Charlie didn't mention Zeke lived at the hotel, otherwise things would be a lot worse." Katherine said while kicking her feet up on the adjacent seat, before looking at the white furred sinner. "Also no Angel, there's no alcohol in here, I've already checked."
"Ah damnit!" Angel complained like a child while sitting back down.
Vaggie returned to her seat next to Zeke as she crossed her arms. "I'm gonna kill him, I swear to Satan I will."
"Too late, toots. Wait, would that make me double dead? Hah, and where exactly do I go? To Double Hell? Hahahahahahahaha! Sorry, you're stuck with me, bitch, so get used to it." Angel said mockingly.
"¡Con una mierda, malparido hijo de-!" Vaggie voiced her frustrations in her native tongue before Zeke spoke up.
"Vaggie por favor cálmate, no vale la pena." Zeke said in Vaggie's native language as he kissed her on the cheek, causing her to calm down slightly.
(A/N: I don't know a lick of Spanish, so I'm using Google translate for those types of moments.)
"Listen, who cares if some jack-offs get hurt? Most of 'em are ugly freaks anyway. I mean come on, look around. You got a bunch a fuckin' Harlequin babies down here." Angel said while looking out the window with a smirk.
"Your one to talk, considering you look like a knockoff Harley Quinn yourself." Katherine said with a smug grin on her face.
"Hey! This body is flawless! Everyone wants a piece of me, and I've got the creepy fan letters to prove it!" Angel said with unashamed pride as he took a letter out from in between his chest fluff and reveals said pictures to the group that features a small picture of a dirty naked old man, who ironically has a "No Angel Dust" tattoo, smothering his mouth on an Angel Dust body pillow and a message at the bottom saying "Show me your feet!"
Vaggie growled and was about to speak again, until Charlie finally decided to speak up. "That was really uncool, y'know, Angel."
"Yeah I think we're past the point of Uncool at this point Charlie." Zeke said with a sigh.
"He's right Charlie! After that train-wreck, there is no way anyone is gonna wanna stay at the hotel! *looks toward Angel Dust* All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!"
"Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore?" Angel asked with wonder as everyone looked at him with the "what the fuck do you think?" look. "Ah...well, shucks.
Charlie, trying to be optimistic quickly spoke up to calm her harem sister down while taking off her jacket. "Hey, come on. We don't know if things are over yet. Try to relax, Vaggie. I-it'll be okay!"
Vaggie smiles at Charlie softly, and Zeke hugged Charlie close to his chest, causing her to blush red. "Z-Zeke?"
"Again, I'm really sorry for what happened Charlie. If there's anything I can do to make up for this, then all you have to do is ask." The dragon sinner said, as Charlie smiled while returning the hug, feeling a bit reassured.
(Happy Hotel)
The group arrived at the hotel and Zeke pushed the doors open to let everyone inside. Vaggie groaned as she threw herself on the couch, facing the wall, while Katherine sat next to the moth demon and tried to comfort her.
Angel Dust rummaged through the fridge leaning by the wall and grabbing a box of Popsies, before turning to Charlie and trying to lighten the mood. "Eh, it's probably a good idea to get some actual food in this place. Y'know, to feed all the wayward souls you got in here! Ahahaha! Ahaha...! eh... ah..."
His words went on deaf ears however as Charlie walked out of the hotel with a dejected look on her face. Zeke smacked Angel on the back of his head while giving him a glare. "Nice one Asshat."
"Hey! You're just as guilty as me, so why are you giving me shit?!" Angel asked indignantly.
"Because I actually feel sorry and want to make up for what I did, unlike you. Look, just try and stay out of trouble will you? Can you at least do that?" Zeke asked as the spider sinner rolled his eyes.
"No promises~" Zeke groaned at Angel's response, before he walked out of the hotel and found Charlie outside on the phone, trying to contact someone.
"Hey, mom. I know I keep calling and you must be busy...Really busy...But, um, the interview didn't go well, and...I don't know if I'm ever going to make a difference *starts tearing up as she wipes it off her face* I don't know what I'm doing, so I could really use some advice, mom. I...I think dad was right about me...Eh, anyway...I'll stop talking before this gets long. Love you, bye." Charlie ended the call and sighed, before she felt a warm pair of arms around her. She looked behind her only to see Zeke hugging her with a smile on his face.
"Charlie, you and I know that things are going to get rough from here on out. But that doesn't matter. We just need to think of a way to get some people in here." Zeke said as Charlie sighed dejectedly.
"But how? I don't even know how to get people to come here, let alone prove to them that my idea of redemption could work. How can I make this work if I can't even do that?" Charlie said with tears forming in her eyes.
Zeke seeing this, got an idea and smirked mischievously, before he suddenly reached down and grabbed Charlie by her ankles and lifted her off of her feet as she was now upside down, causing her to yelp in surprise. "Oh come on princess, none of that! You've remained optimistic in dire situations like this, so why stop now? Come on, use that brain of yours."
Charlie sighed before speaking up. "How am I supposed to do that when everyone thinks it's a waste of time?"
"You've thought of something in situations like this before, and this is no different. Just think outside the box and look for a new angle." Zeke said with a grin on his face.
Charlie decided to indulge her boyfriend's words as she began to let her thoughts roam. She couldn't think of anything to help the sinners of pride. Most of not all of them that came down here didn't want to be saved, and they all came down here with a clean slate-
Wait a minute, clean slate? Maybe she was looking at it the wrong way. Sinners start off with pretty much nothing when they entered hell, and they had nowhere to go or turn too, leading them to try and find a job and sometimes failing at it, which ultimately led to...
"The Homeless!" Charlie shouted with realization, causing Zeke to smirk as the princess sat up to sit on his shoulders. "Sinners in general normally start off with a clean slate right? Ok... maybe not a completely clean slate, but you know what I'm talking about."
Zeke nodded before she continued with an excited voice. "What most of the sinners have in common is the fact that most of them end up living on the streets. Streets where the exorcists can attack them every year with nothing to save them. If we can find a willing homeless sinner, then maybe we can prove that the hotel actually works!"
"See, now we're getting somewhere. It may not be a big leap in progress, but it's a step in the right direction." Zeke said as he set Charlie back on the ground. "Remember Charlie, don't let others tell you what you can and can't do. So what if your dad says your dream is impossible. So what if everyone mocks you for following this dream. All you have to do is pursue your dream with everything you have, and prove everyone who doubted you wrong."
Charlie smiled brightly, feeling motivated due to Zeke's words as she spoke in a determined voice. "You're right Zeke, I can't just give up now, I have to at least try to make this work, even if things look impossible. Thank you ZZ, for always pushing me to do better."
The princess then leaned up and kissed Zeke on the lips, causing the dragon sinner to return the kiss. They soon separated, and Zeke patted Charlie's head. "Anytime, Charlie. And in case you need any help, you know that everyone here has your back. Remember that."
Charlie smiled as Zeke walked back into the hotel. The dragon sinner sighed before he felt a tug on his coat, and saw Vaggie looking at him with a smile on her face. "Oh hey Vags, what's up?"
"Nothing, it's just...thanks for helping Charlie with this. I know she's been having a rough time with this project, so it's nice to know you care so much." Vaggie said with a smile.
"Of course I care, Vaggie. After all, you two are precious to me, and don't forget that." Zeke said before kissing Vaggie on her lips. The secret exorcist returned the kiss with equal passion as they separated.
Over the years, Charlie and Vaggie had warmed up to the dragon sinner, although it took a while for Vaggie to completely trust him, due to her previous distrust towards most, if not all men. Soon they started to develop feelings for the dragon, and they both talked about it, and they agreed that they wanted to "explore" a bit with Zeke.
This didn't go unnoticed by Katherine however, and she called them out privately to discuss the matter. After they talked, Katherine decided to let the pair join the harem, and if they decided to, they could leave at any time.
Needless to say, the couple didn't regret their decision that day and have been happy ever since. Especially in the bedroom.
"Anyways let's get some rest. Today's been a long ass day and I need some rest." Zeke said, with Vaggie nodding as she took his hand and led him to the couch where Katherine was sitting.
Meanwhile Charlie walked back inside the hotel with a smile, still thinking about Zeke's words. She was about to go back to the lobby, until she heard knocking at the door to the hotel. She contemplated whether to open the door or not, but she decided to open the door anyway.
Standing at the door with his arms behind his back was none other than Alastor himself, as he opened his glowing red eyes. Charlie seeing this person, widened her eyes with disbelief and slight fear.
"Hel-" Alastor didn't get to finish as Charlie immediately slammed the door shut. She looked to the side for a moment to contemplate who she saw, before she opened the door again to still see Alastor there. "lo-"
Charlie immediately slammed the door again before going to the lobby to inform her friends. "Uh, guys."
"What's up Charlie?" Katherine asked while looking up from her phone as she was lying on top of Zeke. Said dragon was lying on his back while using Vaggie's lap as a pillow as both sinners looked at her questioningly.
"The radio demon is at the door." At that, everyone, with the exception of Angel immediately went on guard as Katherine got off of Zeke and said dragon sinner got off of the couch as Vaggie spoke. "Whatever you do, do not let him in here!"
Despite her girlfriend's warning, Charlie decided to open the door for Alastor as he spoke up. "May I speak now?"
"You may..." Charlie tried to say, but was cut off when Alastor suddenly thrust his hand in her face.
"Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart, quite a pleasure!" Alastor grabbed Charlie's hand and pulled her dangerously close, before letting himself in. "Excuse my sudden visit, but I saw your fiasco on a picture show, and I just couldn't resist! What a performance! Why, I haven't been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929! Hahahahaha! so many orphans..."
Vaggie stood in front of Alastor while holding a spear towards his chest, stopping him in his tracks. "Stop right there, cabrón hijo de perra! I know your game, and I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone here, you pompous cheesy talk show shitlord!"
"I'd have to agree with her, reindeer games. You've got quite the set on you to come to this place, especially when I'm here." Zeke said to Alastor's side with a flaming pistol aimed at his head.
Alastor used a finger to move the spear away. "Oh you two, if I wanted to hurt anyone here..."
Alastor then turns into his full demon form as his eyes became radio dials and he lets out his aura. "I would've done so."
However before Alastor could instill more fear onto Vaggie, an umbrella suddenly wacked him hard upside the head, sending half of his body through the floor. "Now now brother, no need to scare the children. You're going to give them a heart attack~"
Alastor and the group looked behind them, only to that Alice was the one who hit Alastor through the floor.
"Alice?! What are you doing here?" Katherine asked coming into the hallway while having her whip in hand.
"Why for the same reason my brother is here of course." Alice said cheerfully while lifting her brother out from the ground, all while Alastor gave her a narrowed look.
"And that would be?" Zeke asked while putting his gun away.
"Simple, we're here because we want to help." Alastor said.
"Say what now?" Charlie questioned as everyone looked at the radio twins with confusion.
"Hm, I fail to see what was so hard to understand about that my dear." Alice said with amusement in her voice.
"Excuse me?" Katherine said with confusion.
"Help! Hahaha, hello? Is this thing on? Testing, testing!" Alastor said while tapping his microphone. Said microphone talked out loud, saying it could hear Alastor loud and clear.
"Um, you want to help? With...?" Charlie questioned as Alastor appeared right behind her and Vaggie.
"This ridiculous thing you're trying to do. This hotel! We want to help you run it." Alastor said while pointing at himself and Alice, who waved with an "innocent" smile on her face.
"And why exactly would you want to do that?" Zeke questioned with narrowed eyes.
"Hahaha! Why does anyone do anything, darling? Sheer, absolute, boredom! We've lacked inspiration for decades. Our work became mundane, lacking focus, aimless!" Alice said while appearing behind Zeke.
"That is why, we've come to crave a new form of entertainment! Hahaha!" Alastor said while using Vaggie's head to prop his head up, before pushing her to the side.
"Does getting into a fistfight with a reporter and humiliating her in front of billions of people count as entertainment?" Katherine asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Hahaha! It's the purest kind, my dear. Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage. And the stage, is a world of entertainment." Alastor said with his smile growing.
Charlie grew a bit hopefully as she asked. "So, does this mean you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?"
Alastor just laughed before speaking bluntly. "Hahahahaha! Of course not! That's wacky nonsense! Redemption, oh the non-existent humanity! No no no no, I don't think there's anything left that could save such loathsome sinners!" Alastor looked over towards Vaggie, Zeke, Katherine, and Angel, before Alice spoke up.
"My brother is right miss Charlotte. The chance they were given was the life they lived before, and the punishment is this! There is no undoing what is done, my dear." Alice said while spreading her arms, referring to all of hell.
"So, then. Why do you wanna help me if you don't believe in my cause?" Charlie questioned with confusion as Alastor's smile grew.
"Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for my sister and I! I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment. Only to repeatedly trip, and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure!" Alastor said with his voice taking on a sadistic tone.
"Figured as much. What about you Alice? Why are you here?" Zeke asked, with the demoness grinning at him as she got dangerously close to the dragon's face.
"Isn't it obvious my little dragon? I came to fulfill my part in our little deal~" Alice whispered in Zeke's ear, and for some reason he felt a shiver go up his spine.
"Right..." Charlie said feeling a bit uncomfortable.
"Yes, indeedy! I see big things coming your way and who better to help you than I?" Alastor said cheerfully as he pulled Charlie away, leaving his sister with the group of sinners.
"So...uh, who's smiley 1 and Smiley 2?" Angel asked, referring to Alastor and Alice.
"Wait you never heard of them before? You've been here longer than me?" Vaggie asked with confusion.
"Eh, not really into politics." Angel said with a shrug.
"Well, long story short, Alastor and Alice are known as the radio twins, two of the most powerful overlords in hell. Back when they first appeared, they would kill overlords left and right and broadcast their screams for everyone in the pride ring to hear." Katherine informed the pornstar, while Alice smiled sadistically as she remembered those times.
"Really? It's hard to imagine that, considering they look like strawberry pimps." Angel said while laughing dryly.
"Well, I don't trust either of you, especially Alastor." Vaggie said, turning to Alice with a glare. "For all we know, you could destroy everything we've worked so hard for."
"I mean to be fair, do you trust any man? Men? Men?" Angel asked, with Vaggie scowling at him.
"Relax Vaggie. While I can't vouch for Alastor, I can say that Alice is...somewhat trustworthy." Zeke said, causing everyone to look at him.
"Awe, thank you darling. I'll try to live up to those expectations of yours~" Alice said while smiling "innocently".
Vaggie rolled her eyes as she walked towards Charlie and pulled her to the side. "Charlie, listen to me. You can't believe this creep. He isn't just a happy face, he's a deal-maker. Pure evil. He can't be redeemed! ...And is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we're trying to do!"
Charlie spoke as Alastor looked at a portrait of the royal family. "We don't know that! Look, I know he's bad, and I know he probably doesn't wanna change, but the whole point of this place is to give people a chance. Have faith things will be better! I can't just turn someone away, It goes against everything I'm trying to do here. Just... trust me. I can take care of myself."
"Charlie, whatever you do, do not make a deal with him!" Vaggie said as Alastor made a gesture with his hand, seemingly focusing on Vaggie.
"Don't worry Vaggie, I picked up one thing from my dad and Zeke. You don't take shit from other demons!" Charlie said as she started to walk off to where Alastor was, until Zeke appeared in front of her with a look of seriousness.
"Charlie, are you sure about this? I can handle this if you want." Zeke asked with concern.
Charlie smiled warmly before replying. "Don't worry Zeke, I'll be fine. Besides, you taught me to stand up for myself. And I plan on taking those lessons to heart." Charlie said before walking towards Alastor.
"Okay, so, Al. You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke." As Charlie turns away, glowing red symbols start to appear beside Alastor, which quickly disappear after Charlie turns back to Alastor. "But I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I'm taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no...tricks or voodoo strings attached.
"So, it's a deal, then?"Alastor twirled his mic staff and presents his hand for a handshake as green energy bursts throughout the hotel.
Charlie looked at the hand for a moment , before slapping the hand away. "Nope! No shaking! No deals! I... hmm."
Charlie looked over at Zeke, who gave her an encouraging nod. The princess nodded as she did a partial transformation. "As princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I, hereby order that you help with this hotel. For as long as you desire."
A howling wolf can be heard in the background as Charlie looks over to Zeke, Vaggie and Katherine as they nodded in approval, while Alice rolled her eyes in amusement.
"Sound fair?" Charlie asked.
Alastor rubbed his chin, before relenting. "Hmm...Fair enough."
"Cool beans." Charlie said with relief as she reverted back to her normal state, while receiving a pat on the back by Katherine.
Alastor hummed a tune to himself while looking around, as he stopped in front of Vaggie. "Smile, my dear! You know you're never fully dressed without one!"
The radio demon then turned to Zeke and Katherine, as his eyes narrowed at the former. "I see you are here as well, lizard. Tell me, how's that chest wound?"
"Pretty good actually, it healed pretty easily." Zeke said innocently, before he grinned mockingly at the radio demon. "Tell me, how's your spine?"
Katherine giggled at the jab, while Vaggie snickered and Alice giggled into her hand. Alastor was very displeased as his eyes narrowed. However he decided to walk away, as he continued humming to himself, before turning back to Charlie. "So where is your hotel staff?"
"I'm pretty sure this is it, brother." Alice said as Charlie and Alastor looked over and saw her pointing at Vaggie, Zeke and Katherine who's staring at Alastor dead in the eyes.
"Ohohoho, you're going to need a lot more than that." Alastor said, before walking towards Angel Dust. "And what can you do, my effeminate fellow?
"I can suck your dick!" Angel said with absolutely no shame whatsoever.
Mic feedback and laughter from his sister can be heard in the background as Alastor tries to process what he was just offered. "HAH! No."
Angel scoffed, before going to look at his phone. "Your loss."
"Well, this just won't do! Alice said as she unfolded her umbrella. "I suppose we can cash in a few favors to liven things up. What do you say, brother?"
"Yes, I believe that would be most beneficial for this place." Alastor said as the demoness snapped her fingers, just as a new fireplace replaced the old one. Alice walked over to pick up a figure that fell out of the fireplace, which then opens it's one eye to look at the hotel residents.
Alice picked the figure up, and it poofed into color, revealing a very short cyclops demon with white skin, short messy reddish pink hair styled in a bob cut, light yellow iris with red sclera, and sharp teeth. She wore a reddish pink maid dress under a white apron, long black gloves, and matching colored tights.
"The hell?" Katherine raised an eyebrow at the sight of the little cyclops, although she did admit she looked adorable.
"This little darling here is Niffty. She'll be the maid of the hotel, so treat her with the love and care she deserves, would you~" Alice said as she dropped Niffty on the floor.
"Hi, I'm Niffty. It's nice to meet you. It's been a while since I've made new friends!" The revealed Niffty said with an insane look at the end, before noticing something. "Why are you all women? Are there any men here? I'm sorry, that was-"
Niffty cut herself off when she saw Zeke looking at her with a raised eyebrow. She grinned insanely, before rushing the dragon sinner. "MAN!"
Before she could reach the dragon, Katherine had grabbed her in mid-air and held her in the air. "Yeah none of that. I'm not trying to have my man become another EDP."
"Uh, who the hell is EDP?" Angel asked with confusion.
"Let's just say someone who deserves to be down here with the rest of us and leave it at that." Zeke said while feeling a bit of discomfort.
"Are you a bad boy~" Niffty said while grinning insanely, before she noticed her surroundings. "Oh man, this place is filthy! It really needs a lady's touch. Which is weird because most of you are ladies, no offense. Oh, my gosh! This is awful!
Niffty then started speeding through the hotel and cleaning up all of the dirty spaces. "Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! *spots a cockroach and stabs it with a sewing pin* Nope!"
"Ah Niffty, an excellent choice sister. I believe I know someone who will be perfect for what I have in mind." Alastor said as she snapped his fingers, and a part of the room shifted. Soon they all heard a gruff male voice speak up smugly.
"Read'em and weep boys, full ho-tel? What the fuck is this?" The male spoke as he looked around.
The man was an anthropomorphic cat with dark grey and white fur, and he looked a bit like a magician in Zeke's opinion. He wore a black top hat with a red band, a red bowtie around his neck, and a set of black trousers which are held by black suspenders over his shoulders. He also had wings attached to his back.
The cat demon looked around to see what was going on, until he saw Alastor. He gave the radio demon a glare as he pointed accusingly at him. "You!"
"Ah, Husker, my good friend! Glad you could make it!" Alastor said cheerfully, ignoring the glare the now named Husker, or Husk as others called him.
"Don't you "Husker" me, you son of a bitch! I was about to win the whole damn pot!" Husk said as he pointed to said winnings, only for them to disappear
"Good to see you too!" Alastor said cheerfully, ignoring Husk's comment.
Husk just facepalms angrily, before grumbling out. "What the hell do you want with me this time?"
"My friend, my sister and I are doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that's okay!" The radio demon said while wrapping his arm around Husk's neck.
"Are you shittin' me?!" Husk yelled in irritated as Alastor to ponder for a bit, before replying immediately after.
"Hmm... No, I don't think so!" Alastor said, with his smile remaining present.
Husk shoved Alastor off of him before shouting in anger. "You thought it'd be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere?! You think I'm some kind of fucking clown?!"
"Maybe!" Alastor said while trying not to laugh.
Husk, still irritated quickly voiced his protest. "I ain't doing no fucking charity job Alastor, so you can forget it.
Alastor then teleports behind Husk through his shadow and speaks up. "Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment! With your charming smile and welcoming energy, this job was made for you!"
"Fuck off, my answer is still no you bastard." Husk said still feeling irritated about his winnings being gone.
Alice then spoke up as she appeared next to the bar her brother made with his magic and spoke in a mischievous voice.
"Oh come now Husky, we can make this more welcoming for you...If you wish~"
As Alice swiped her hand down, a bottle of cheap booze appeared from nowhere. Husk seeing the bottle, walked towards the radio twins and spoke angrily.
"What? You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?!...Well, you can!"
Husk immediately snatched the bottle of cheep booze from the counter, and began drinking its contents as he walked behind the desk.
"Um...I'm pretty sure that this place is supposed to discourage sin right? A bar in this place is literally the exact opposite of what we're trying to-" Katherine said, but was cut off when Angel dust covered her mouth effectively silencing her.
"SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! We are keeping this, and I'm not budging on that." Angel said while pointing at the bar with three of his hands, before he leaned on the counter to flirt with the cat demon.
"Go fuck yourself, twink." Husk said unamused, until Angel grabbed his face and made him face the spider sinner.
"Only if you watch me~" Angel said sultrily.
"Oh, my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here!" Charlie said excitedly as she nearly leaped over the desk, if it wasn't for Zeke holding her back.
"I lost the ability to love years ago." Husk said while taking another swig of his cheep booze.
"Oh no, please don't tell me your one of those emo's that's all depressing and cut their wrists or some shit?" Katherine asked with a groan, making Husk glare at her.
"Who the fuck are you calling an emo, bitch!" Husk shouted.
"So, what do you think? Not too shabby if I say so myself~" Alice said to Charlie, who was bouncing on her feet with excitement.
"This is amazing! With this we might be able to actually get people to come to the hotel!" Charlie said excitedly.
Vaggie grumbled under her breath, until Zeke rubbed her back, making her calm down slightly. "It's... okay."
Alastor pulled Charlie and Vaggie close, while pushing Zeke to the side as he laughed. "Hahaha! This is going to be very entertaining!"
"Son of a bitch. I'll be sure to get payback in the future, asshole." Zeke grumbled as Katherine helped him to his feet.
"But you gotta admit, those two helping out here could be a big help for us." Katherine said as her boyfriend nodded in agreement.
"Doesn't mean I have to like it though." The dragon sinner grumbled, before Katherine kissed him on the cheek to cheer him up.
"Relax, I'm sure everything will be fine. But enough about that, I think it's time you give me my present~" The succubus said with lust as she pressed her breasts against Zeke's chest. She could feel a large bulge pressing against her as Katherine licked her lips in lust.
"Well not that I mind doing it now, but we should probably get to a bedroom first. We don't want to have sex in front of everyone now do we?" Zeke said with a lustful growl as Katherine sat him down and straddled his waist.
"Eh, does it matter? Besides, I'm done waiting for you to tie and gag me while you fuck me into unconsciousness. I have my whip on me, so we can-" Katherine was cut off when an explosion towards the entrance rocked the building. The succubi's eye started twitching violently as another explosion rocked the building.
The door came off its hinges and hit Niffty, sending her crashing into a wall. Everyone ran outside, only to see a familiar airship, with Sir Pentious sitting in the cockpit. "Ha, well well well, look who it is harboring the striped freak! We meet again, Alastor!"
"Brother, you know this buffoon?" Alice asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Not one bit, sister." Alastor said simply, causing Pentious's ego to take a hit, but he recovers as he pulls a lever.
"Oh but you will. Because this time I have the element of supri-" Pentious was cut off when he realized that when he pulled the lever, nothing happened, making him question why.
"Yeah look, Pentious right? I've just about had enough of people interrupting me from getting my special present." Katherine spoke up as she raised her hand to show the spider demon that she had hacked the airship to make it unresponsive. "So here's what's going to happen. I'm going to beat the ever living shit out of you until I'm satisfied, and then!"
Katherine then looked behind her and pointed a finger at Zeke, who looked on nervously. "You and I are going to go up to our room, we're going to do BDSM play like you fucking promised, AND WE'RE GOING TO FUCK ALL NIGHT LONG UNTIL I'M FUCKING SATISFIED! ARE WE CLEAR!!!"
Zeke nodded stiffly, making Katherine grin pervertedly. Charlie and Vaggie blushed furiously at the succubi's words, while Angel dust whistled in approval. Alice had a slight blush on her face at the thought, while Alastor's eye twitched when he saw his sister's expression. Meanwhile, Husk just deadpanned at the succubus, and Niffty...well she was Niffty.
"Good. Now then, COME HERE YOU FUCKING SCALE CLAD PIECE OF SHIT!" Katherine yelled before launching herself inside the airship and giving Pentious a beating that made everyone, except for the radio twins cringe and look away.
Pentious's screams of agony and terror could be heard as Katherine laid into the snake sinner. By the end of it Pentious hit the ground as the succubus jumped out of the airship. The snake sinner tried to get up, but Katherine stomped on his head. This caused Pentious to be knocked unconscious, as Katherine picked him up by the collar and threw him hard into the airship, causing it to explode.
Everyone looked at Katherine with mixed expressions, all while the succubus grinned evily at the sight. She then turned to Zeke and jumped into his arms while wrapping her legs around his waist. "Now that that's taken care of, I'm done waiting. You. Me. Bedroom. Now."
"Oh fine, let me get the whipped cream." Zeke said, causing Katherine to squeal as they went back inside the hotel.
Meanwhile, everyone looked at the leaving pair, until Alastor spoke cheerfully and broke the tension almost immediately. "Well I'm starved, who wants some jambalaya?!"
"Ah, my favorite. We should use mother's secret recipe for this splendid a occasion~" Alice said as they walked back towards the hotel.
"Ah yes, the one that nearly killed her. Great idea sister! You could say the kick came right out of hell, haha! This is the start of some real changes down here!" Alastor said while everyone else followed after the pair as they walked back inside the hotel.
The camera then moves upwards to show the sign of the happy hotel, and Alastor uses his magic to change it from "Happy Hotel" to "Hazbin Hotel".
(Chapter End)
A/N: My fingers hurt, but at least I'm done with the Hazbin Hotel pilot. Over 12k words is more than enough.
I need to take a fucking break on this story for a bit. Although expect a lemon next chapter.
Also, please review. I love seeing feedback for this story, good or otherwise.
Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Follow and vote, or if you're on fanfiction, follow and favorite.
See you all next time.
Bye-bye!
Next update: Bloodied Fangs