"Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble. -Lemony Snicket

He wasn't sure how he ended up moving from the shop across the street into the Hotel itself. It certainly wasn't his intent to ever step foot inside the Library again, but he was, sitting on the bed of Room 800.002 surrounded by mementos of Classic Fiction. The room seemed different than when he was last there. No doubt there had been some remodeling done in the years since, but the exact changes he couldn't put his finger on. He sat still, studying the walls, with his hands gripping his knees.

Now what?

Shawn Hunter let out a heavy sigh and stood up. As he did, he could swear he heard a ghost of laughter behind him as memories of him, Cory, and Frankie driving Mr. Williams crazy flooded his mind.

Wait-Mr. Williams? That wasn't right...why had they been with Eli and not Jon? Shawn frowned trying to recall the details. He turned to look behind him, half-hoping the answer would be there. It was not, of course.

His shoulders drooped momentarily before he shook himself and got busy unpacking the bag he had with him. He wasn't sure how long he would stay. That depended on how long it took to retrieve his things and ID from the Matthews' place, preferably without dealing with Cory. Shawn let out a huff of frustration. At least he had his phone with his digital wallet on it and the Hotel accepted that form of payment. Focusing on the task at hand with more intensity than was necessary, he put away his clothes and the few other things he carried with him. One of those items was a large box with rubber bands wrapped around it to keep the top on. Inside was a collection of letters that had never been opened. With the last item out, Shawn lifted the duffle bag to put it away. Something heavy rolled inside it. He frowned and set the bag back on the bed. He reached inside and smiled as his hand enclosed around cool rounded glass. He pulled out an old, worn snow globe with the Statue of Liberty inside; it was the one thing that went with him wherever he went. Shawn continued to smile, but the more he looked at the globe the sadder his smile became.

Did you know that Jon married the nurse who took care of him after his accident?"

He watched the snow, yellowed with time, fall on the American symbol of freedom. Shawn was everything but free. He felt trapped, like he was imprisoned in a very tiny cell the walls of which were closing in on him.

How could you, Jon? he wondered in despair. How could you?

A weight like heavy ice punched him in the gut and settled there. Shawn felt cold and hot at the same time. Emotions, so mixed together he couldn't separate them to name them, swallowed him. The only thing he could think to do in times when he felt like this was to run.

Jonathan Turner sat alone in a dimly lit room of his home that was never used. A retro looking metal lamp sitting on the corner of an old desk provided the only illumination in the space. All the furnishings in the room appeared to be from the late 90s rather than anything modern. The colors, the décor, the family photos of father and son, the report cards, the posters, the large window that was perfect for climbing out of: everything about the room declared it belonged to a 15- or 16-year-old boy.

None of Jonathan's sons were teenagers.

He stared at the wall opposite him, the one the dresser with the combination TV/VCR on top set against. A stack of VHS tapes and some DVDs sat on what little space that wasn't taken up by the television set- all of them unused. Above the TV was a photo, its color faded with age- a family photo styled to look like the 1920s. On the floor next to the dresser was an original PlayStation with a library of games stacked up as high as the console, all relics of a past that never was. His boys had often asked to play with it. But they had their own, newer models; they weren't allowed to touch this one.

His boys.

Two of them were in their shared room that was always in use and would be for years to come. As for the third one...

The third one was actually the first. The one who wouldn't see him. The one he was almost certain now would never call again.

He stared at the dark carpet wondering where he went so wrong; where he had missed the opportunity to right the wrong. He mulled all this over for the umpteenth time. There was never a week that went by that he didn't sit in that room and go over the past again and again.

Perhaps it was time to accept reality as it was and not as he wanted it to be.

Perhaps it was finally time to convert the room into a proper guestroom. It was apparent that the room in its current state would ever be used.

After hours of wandering the streets of New York City without any purpose or destination, Shawn ended up back at the Library quite by accident. It was late afternoon and without anything to do he decided that camping out in the lobby and reading was better than aimlessly roving or going back to a room filled with too many blurry memories. The bookcases that lined the lobby were fascinating in and of themselves. His travels had gifted him with a love of reading, hadn't they? Or was it that his travels cultivated the seeds that had been planted in him for literature by another? Shawn bit his bottom lip, refocusing on the leather-bound tomes in front of him and ignoring everything else. Time slipped by him, so he wasn't sure how long he had been standing there when he heard a voice behind him say,

"Shawn."

He froze. At the sound of his name, he felt like the world had come to a sudden, sickening halt. His hand was glued to the book it was pulling off the shelf. His feet turn to lead and would not move. Only his heart seemed to have any life to it and it was screaming loud and fast in his ears.

"Shawn."

Surely, his ears were deceiving him. He could not possibly hear what he thought he was. That voice was so familiar even though it had been so long since he'd heard it call his name. That voice simply could not be the one he was actually hearing.

"Shawn."

Somehow, he managed to will himself to turn. Now he was face to face with the voice. Shawn discovered that his eyes were also playing tricks on him because the person standing before him simply could not be there.

And yet, she was.

Seventeen years had passed them by and while it could be said that life he lived was etched into his face those same years had been exceedingly kind to her. Blue-gray eyes smiled tenderly at him, filled with such affection that Shawn found it hard to breathe. Her fiery hair was much shorter than he remembered, grazing the bottom of her shoulder blades instead of her waist. Her clothes were simple, neat, and tidy like she had always been. She wore skinny jeans and ballet flats because of course she would. It was obvious she still danced. His gaze caught on the top she was wearing and the peculiar way it hung around her waist. He looked back up at her face. His heart leapt. Seventeen years dissolved in an instant.

Audrey!

She was older, but somehow, looked so much better than she did back then.

Healthy, Shawn realized, she looks healthy.

His cheeks began to hurt and he discovered he had been staring at her with an impossibly goofy smile. Her own smile widened into a grin.

Oh, Audrey!

Shawn dropped the book he was holding and nearly knocked down an older man to get to her. But he didn't care. He was no longer in his thirties; he was fifteen again and no one was going to stand in his way of getting to her. He was trembling so hard when he grabbed her into the biggest bear hug he could manage that he didn't know if he could stop shaking.

"You came back," he said over and over, hugging her tighter.

"Of course, I did, Shawn," she hugged him back just as tight. "I always come back."

Her voice was like an anchor in his soul, pulling him back down to the earth, and grounding him. He continued to hug her, fighting back the urge to cry that was gripping him. It was as he was holding her that he suddenly understood why her tunic top hung around her waist that way it was. That ice that had been in his stomach was back and encased him completely. He let go of her and jumped back like he had been burned and backed away from her.

"Shawn?" She blinked in confusion at his sudden change. He looked upset with her, almost angry yet inexplicably forlorn at the same time.

"You're pregnant." He stated flatly, pointing at her in accusation.

"Yes." She regarded him for a moment trying to gauge why it disturbed him so. "I'm not that old, you know," she gently teased, hoping the playfulness in her response would put it him at ease.

It did not. Shawn backed up further until he was against the bookcase behind him. The lobby was suddenly empty of people and the silence was now suffocating to him.

"Why does that bother you?"

"Because..." He glanced around looking for a way out that didn't involve going near her again. There was none.

The look of tolerant love on her face unnerved him. He wanted nothing more than to run to her again and pretend that no time had passed. It would have been so easy to do, too, if it was not for that rude intrusion of reality that was between them in the form of new life. He looked back at her imploringly. "I can't do this, Audrey. I just can't."

Audrey was quiet. Shawn had the strange feeling that she knew what he was thinking and why. She didn't move towards him, she only held his gaze.

"Jon sent me."

"No!" He held his hands up as though to stop her words from reaching him. He already determined that he knew what she was going to say, and he could not bear it. He knew why Jon sent her and it wasn't fair. Jon knew he couldn't say no to talking to her. "Please, Audrey! I don't want to know!"

"Oh, Shawn," she sighed. She could tell by the look on his face he was shutting down. Words would not reach him, no matter what they were.

Her eyes suddenly lit up as though an idea struck her. Shawn watched her suspiciously. He saw her reach into her purse and he wondered if he should take advantage of her distraction and escape. But he couldn't. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Her presence was so surreal he was still not sure if she existed in the same time and space he did. Maybe he had gone back to his room after all and fallen asleep. Maybe this was just a dream.

He prayed this was just a dream.

He was lost in his thoughts until her raised eyebrows and expectant look made him refocus. She was holding a card out to him. Cautiously, he inched forward far enough to take the card but not far enough that she could catch hold of him. She had given him her driver's license. Immediately, he understood why and started shaking his head. He tried to give it back to her, but she refused.

"Read it, Shawn."

"No," he responded defiantly. "I won't." His eyes felt pulled back down to the card. Horrified, he was unable to stop himself from doing what she told him to do.

He stared at the name on the card. His eyesight blurred and he broke out into a cold sweat. He read the name over and over again. Then the address. He knew the address; he had a box full of letters and cards from that address. Again and again, he read the text over. But, like trying to read a language he didn't know, Shawn couldn't comprehend what the card was telling him. It conflicted with everything he knew to be true. It agreed with everything he had hoped for and dreamed about.

What kind of cruel trick was this?

He looked up and found her smiling weakly at him, clearly worried. He looked at the name again.

"Audrey." His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth as he read. "Audrey..."

He looked up at her in disbelief.

"Turner?"

She nodded, relieved to finally get through to him. "For the last 17 years," she softly informed him.

His head spun, thoughts and emotion swirled at a dizzying rate. "I don't understand," he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he tried to sort through everything he thought he knew. "Cory said Jon married his nurse."

"Yeah, about that," Audrey sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. She relaxed from the tense pose she had been holding. "When Jon was in the hospital, I didn't exactly, how can I say it?" She flashed Shawn an embarrassed smile. "I didn't exactly defer to the nurses' experience or education when it can to taking care of him. I read everything I could about motorcycle accidents and head trauma and physical therapy and made sure to let his medical staff know what I knew. And then told them what to do and how to do it." She laughed at herself. "So the nurses started to call me Nurse Audrey and would say it rather sarcastically to each other and to me when I got particularly obnoxious. Which was often. It wasn't exactly a term of endearment." She shook her head in amusement and winked at Shawn who was beginning to smile. "Jon and Cory thought it was hysterical. Especially Jon. I only let it go because of that concussion he sustained." She shook her head in mild annoyance. "I never want to hear that joke again!"

When Shawn cracked a smile, Audrey took a step towards him. "Do you mind if we sit, Shawn?" She put her hand on her stomach. "This one's been quite active today and I'm tired."

"Oh yeah, of course." Shawn tripped over himself to give her the help she didn't really need.

They sat on a plush couch in silence for a bit. Shawn felt muddled. Everything was upside down. Jon and Audrey were married. They had been for a long time. Longer than Cory and Topanga. He was floored by this revelation. He should have be ecstatic, but he wasn't. Now that he knew what he wanted all along was real, he felt sick. All this time he had been constantly on the move, they had been together. All the calls he ended suddenly could have continued. All the letters he never opened could have been read. When his boyhood dream came true, and he was the only one who didn't know it; the only one who didn't get to be a part of it. Shawn closed his eyes and hung his head as the realization of everything he had surely missed because of his tenacious stubbornness and pride. And fear...

"What a person believes to be true is more important than what actually is."

Shawn blinked. Who had told him that? Jon? Mr. Feeny? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about anything anymore.

A cool, slim hand wrapped around his sweaty one.

"I've missed you so much, Shawn."

He looked into her stormy eyes with a strangled expression of guilt, embarrassment, and regret.

"So has Jon."

Shawn didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. After a while, Audrey squeezed his hand.

"Is there anything you'd like to ask me? Anything you want to know?"

Yeah, thought Shawn. How disappointed in me is Jon?

He quickly decided he didn't want to know. She was still patiently waiting for him to respond. He frowned as he tried to think of something neutral to ask. Her career, maybe? The same tired, old conversation he always had with Jon? No, not that over again. So he said, "You've been married 17 years? How? I would have still been in high school, I think."

"You were," she confirmed.

"So wait," Shawn leaned forward trying to do the math. "Seventeen years...seventeen years would mean you got married before Jon's accident? Oh, that's not right." He gave her a sheepish look. "I'm not any better at math now than I was then, I guess."

She gave a light laugh. "You're right, actually. We did get married before his accident. Quite a bit before."

That absolutely did not compute and added to Shawn's already deep confusion. "Huh?"

"We were married the summer after I left Philadelphia. The summer you and Jon came to see me."

Shawn stared at her his mouth slightly open. "No, wait," he turned fully towards her. She must be wrong. "No, I was there. You said no. You said no every time he asked you."

"Yes," she acknowledged, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Then. But Jon came back and he asked me again. I didn't say no the second time."

"He never told me he went back." Shawn felt more than a little betrayed and hurt by his former guardian's actions. But at the same time, they weren't really talking at that point, so it was no wonder Jon didn't ask him to go.

"You were traveling with your father," she reminded him. "He didn't think it was a good idea to disrupt that. Not when he didn't know for sure how I'd respond."

"So you said yes. What happened next?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah. I do."

She gave him a secretive smile and shook her head.

"Ask Jon."

Shawn inhaled deeply. So that was the catch. He grimaced and stared down at his hand intertwined with hers. All these years, his mentor had tried so hard to reach him and all he did was push him away with unfounded accusations and untrue beliefs. Even if he never actually spoke those things aloud to him; they were what caused him to react the way he did. Every negative emotion rose within him. Shawn felt like he was being smothered. All that wasted time. He closed his eyes. He knew he could never face Jon again. This time for a completely different reason.

"I can't," he croaked.

"Because you think he won't forgive you?"

He looked up at her sharply, wondering how she knew. He inhaled deeply and said, "I've been awful to him, Audrey. You don't even know what I've put him through."

"I do, a little."

He gave a bemused snort. He had already forgotten that his beloved "parents" were married. Of course, she knew. She'd always known. He was the one who hadn't.

"I always felt like he was cheatin' on you," he admitted, feelin' foolish considering the truth but desperate to explain himself. "I was so angry at him, even though he did nothin' wrong. I hated every woman he brought home after you left. Everyone I thought he took home after I left." He hadn't meant to say that last part out loud. His eyes were wide with unspoken apologies.

Audrey smiled. "I know about them, Shawn," she assured him. "We talked regularly after I went back. I knew he was dating."

"They were awful," he said empathically.

Her full laughter filled the space they were in. "You need ask him why he chose who he did."

Shawn didn't really feel like smiling but couldn't help himself. He took her hand between both of his and held onto her like his life depended on her. "I am so sorry, Audrey," his voice broke and he was near tears. "I was so terrible to you the last time I saw you. I said such horrible things."

"And every one of them was forgiven long ago."

Her assurance did not alleviate the guilt he felt, but some of load on his heart was lifted just by speaking those words to her.

"I understood you, Shawn. I never held anything you said against you. I hated the situation as much as you and Jon did."

There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but they were all jumbled up and he really needed time to sort through everything that was happening. "I couldn't stand the thought of you and Jon not ending up together. It was worse than Cory and Topanga not being together. I thought if you and Jon couldn't make it, there was no hope for me." The words gushed out and continued faster than he could think. "I lost so much, and I was afraid to lose more."

He bowed his head.

"Angela's married."

Audrey placed her free hand on top of his. "I know. She came to see us before she met with you."

Shawn contemplated this for a while, acutely aware that everyone that had been in his life at some point knew about Jon and Audrey. He turned his head towards her. "That's why I didn't want to meet with Jon at Topanga's. I just couldn't..." his voice trailed off.

"Handle any more heart break," she finished.

Shawn nodded.

"I was so angry with Jon for leavin' the City without you," he went on, back in the past again. "I was angry with you for not comin' with us. I honestly didn't care about your dad in that moment. I never thought about what you were goin' through and only cared about what I wanted." Deep remorse marred his features. "When I lost my dad, I couldn't stop thinkin' about you and what you went through; how long you had to watch him suffer."

"You were a kid," she said firmly. "A kid who had been through more than any kid should ever have to go through. We knew you felt you finally found a home with us- Jon wanted nothing more than to give you what you wanted."

"So why didn't you say yes then? Work things out later?"

"Because life isn't a TV drama," she joked, trying to get him to relax. "Did Jon tell you he was going to ask me to marry him before you guys came to see me?"

"No," Shawn admitted, realizing he had never thought about it before. No, he could not recall Jon ever mentioning marriage. Just that they were going to get Audrey and bring her home. He never mentioned how he planned to do that.

"That's because he had no intention of doing it. It was a last ditch effort to get me to go back and I knew it." She paused a moment before continuing. "It was much different the second time around."

"I wish I'd known," he said quietly.

"So did we."

Shawn shook his head and frowned. "I was still in school. Jon was still my teacher. Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't you?"

"You need to ask him that."

"Why can't you tell me?" he groused.

"Because you need to hear it from him." She gave him a pointed look.

Shawn was quiet, staring at the floor again.

"Don't think I can't understand why you pushed Jon away or chose to live the life you have," she told him, releasing his hand. She put her hand on his shoulder. "I understand the fear and confusion that comes with repeatedly losing everything and everyone you love."

The gravity in her voice caused him to look up.

"I lost my mother when I was thirteen. I lost my dance scholarship to Julliard. I lost countless friends from being in and out of the hospital because of an eating disorder. I watched my father suffer for years. My dad's family had little to do with us; my mum's family were all in England. Then I finally caught a break and had something good happened with Jon, with you. My life was finally going right. Then my student teaching ended suddenly, I'm back in the hospital, and I lost you both."

She regarded Shawn with wide eyes that were a tempestuous gray now. It was a look he recognized as he had seen it in the mirror many times before.

"Three days after I finally lost my dad, I get a call saying my husband's been in a serious motorcycle accident and is in critical condition; he may not make it. And the worst part was, I couldn't come back and be with him because of everything that had to be done after Dad's death and there was no one else to do it. I had no one to help me."

Shawn squeezed the hand he was still holding her tightly at the sight of her pained expression. His heart ached that she had to go through that alone.

"There wasn't anyone you could go to?"

She smiled morosely. "I didn't think there was, but that wasn't true. The Matthews, Eli, and Mr. Feeny were there from the beginning, I just didn't want help. I didn't want anyone around him, either. I was pretty awful to everyone who tried to be there: Alan and Amy, George. Eli was afraid of me for a while, I think. I was especially terrible to the nurses. I was so afraid I couldn't accept help from anyone. If anyone tried to, I couldn't stand it. Their help gave me time to think. And if I started to think I would break down. I pulled away from everyone until I finally hit rock bottom. Hard."

She slipped her arm through his and inhaled deeply before continuing. It was obvious that she didn't like to recall those days, but she did it for him.

"For two weeks, I hadn't left Jon's side for anything. Then one day was a particularly bad day for him and I broke. I stepped out of his room and just sank to the floor. I felt nothing, I was so numb. I couldn't ask for help even thought I'd reached the point where I desperately needed it."

Those words stuck a chord in Shawn; that numbness was something he was well acquainted with.

"I felt these tweed covered arms go around my shoulders," she hugged his arm tightly. "And I lost it. I've never cried so hard in my life. I don't know how long Mr. Feeny sat there with me on that cold floor, but he did. I had a lot of years of crying in me and he sat with me until I was through."

Shawn smiled slightly as he thought about all that Mr. Feeny had done for him. "Mr. Feeny's always there when you need him."

Audrey nodded in agreement. "Always."

"That should have been me, though," he said with a deep sigh of regret. "If I had just kept going back to see Jon, I would have been there for you and him. I would have known about you guys and then all this time wouldn't have been wasted."

"Oh, Shawn," Audrey shook her head fiercely. "Don't do that to yourself. We can't change the past and dwelling on it constantly doesn't do anyone any good. It just ruins the present"

Shawn fell silent. He didn't know how to explain his feelings to her, he couldn't even explain them to himself.

"You need to forgive yourself, Shawn." When he said nothing, Audrey continued, "You and Jon are so much alike."

This got his attention. "What do you mean?"

"He's been carrying around so much regret and remorse. And he still hasn't fully forgiven himself for the mistakes he made with you. He didn't want kids for the longest time because he was terrified of making those mistakes over or making worse ones."

Shawn looked at her baffled. He couldn't think of a single thing Jon had done that was that bad. They'd had their ups and down, sure. Mistakes were made, yes. But although Shawn could easily compile several books on what he did to damage their relationship, he couldn't come up with anything his mentor had done. "What mistakes did he make that were that bad?"

She shrugged, arched an eyebrow, and gave him a meaningful look.

"Ask him." Shawn beat her to saying it.

"You got it."

Shawn found himself shaking his head again. "I feel like I've lost so much. I've wasted so much time. It feels too late."

"What's too late?"

"Us: to have the family I always wanted as a kid." His mouth twisted into a pained expression. "To have my own family as an adult."

"How old are you now, Shawn?" she asked, even though she knew the answer.

"Thirty-three. Almost thirty-four."

"That's interesting," she mused. "You do know that Jon was thirty-two when he took you in. He was thirty-three when I met him. He was thirty-four when we got married. I wouldn't say it's too late."

As Shawn considered this, Maya Hart came to mind suddenly. He was thirty-two when he met her. Thoughts of his date with her mother joined in. He was thirty-three when he met Katy. He frowned. In a very strange way, it was almost like he'd come full circle to be standing in the shoes of the man who had so heavily influenced his life.

Almost. There was still too much damage to undo.

Audrey raised a hand to his temple and brushed back his hair in an affectionate, motherly gesture. "Do you remember when you came up here with Jon to see me and stayed with me instead of at the hotel with him? Do you remember the room you stayed in?"

He smiled at the memory. "Yeah, the one with the nice window and big tree outside?"

She nodded. "That house was my inheritance. That house was one of the main reasons we moved back to the City. When we did, Jon insisted we keep that room for you. It's still there, any time you want it."

Shawn didn't know what to think. The thought that Jon still wanted him even after all he'd put the man through was overwhelming. Even more overwhelming was the understanding that all the times he thought he had no home, he actually did. Once again grief washed over him. His vision became cloudy. Suddenly, the space next to him became very cold. He looked around startled. Audrey had left his side and was standing in front of him, looking at him expectantly.

"Come on, Shawn. Let's go home."

He looked up at her, eyes enormous with unspoken vexation and doubt.

"I'm not ready."

"If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives." ―Lemony Snicket, The Ersatz Elevator

Comments always welcomed.