Katniss moved quickly across the room to where Peeta was standing frozen in the doorway, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Reaching up on her toes, she pressed her lips urgently against his, desperate for the feel of his lips against hers once more. For a brief moment, she felt his lips fuse with hers as he returned her kiss, but before she could move to further deepen the kiss she suddenly felt him pulling away from her.
"Hi," she greeted breathlessly, tilting her head back and looking deep into his blue eyes. They were swirling with emotions and darkened by something she couldn't quite identify.
"Hi," he said quietly, looking down into her grey ones. Katniss tightened her arms around him and pulled him closer, it felt so good to finally be able to touch him like this and feel his solid strength against her.
Peeta opened his mouth to speak, but quickly Katniss pressed her index finger gently to his lips, preventing him from saying anything.
"Before you say anything, I want to tell you I'm sorry that I've been away for so long Peeta. It's so good to be home, and I missed you so, so much," she admitted, closing her eyes and pressing her cheek against his broad chest. Slowly she breathed in the warm, familiar scents of vanilla and sugar that always seemed to cling to him from the bakery, and she smiled. She took comfort in the sound of his steady heartbeat and the tangible feeling of his strong chest beneath her cheek.
"We need to talk Katniss," Peeta asserted, his voice soft but cool, "there's a lot to talk about."
"I know," Katniss murmured back, her face still pressed to his chest. "But before we do that, just let me hold you for a minute longer, okay? I've missed you holding me so much."
Peeta raised his right hand bringing it to rest lightly between her shoulder blades, but he didn't make any attempt to pull her closer to him or to kiss her again. Instead, he moved his left hand up to disentangle hers from around his neck, taking her now free hands and leading her through into their living room.
Okay, Katniss thought, as she followed him. She could tell he wasn't ready yet to forgive her completely. But, she had anticipated that, they did need to talk and she knew she owed him an explanation. Once they were both seated on the sofa, he turned to face her.
"So," Peeta started, clearing his throat awkwardly, "you know we need to talk properly about what happened Katniss. But, let's get a few things out of the way first."
Katniss nodded, "Okay, but... before we start - I thought the kids would be here with Sae when I got home. Where are they now? I can't wait to see them, too."
"I had to organize daycare for them so I could work. That's where they are right now. I couldn't keep asking Sae or Prim to watch them while I worked. Prim is going to pick them up today, and she said she would watch them while we talked."
"Oh, okay. That sounds like a good idea," Katniss smiled at him hesitantly.
"I'll take you to them later on. But, I wanted to talk about what happened without them around. How are you feeling now? Do you feel better?" his voice was still cool and distant. There was an odd detachment to it. Katniss frowned slightly, trying to gauge what Peeta was thinking from his expression, but she was finding it difficult to read him. He wasn't meeting her eyes and when he did briefly look at her and it was like he was working hard at keeping his face purposely neutral.
Katniss had expected Peeta to be deeply upset, but this felt like an impenetrable wall. He was the most patient and loving man she knew and he was usually slow to anger, but when he was angry he could be formidable. She took a deep breath before answering his questions. Now was not the time for words to fail her.
"I feel so much better, Peeta, stronger, both physically and emotionally. You have no idea how much I needed to get away and...de-stress." She smiled tentatively at him again, hoping to see some signs of softening in his eyes.
"De-stress? " Peeta repeated, raising a hand to his face and rubbing his deeply furrowed brow. After a moment, he let his hand drop back down to rest on his thigh, and Katniss fought the urge to climb into his lap and caress the tension that remained on his brow away herself. But she held back, knowing that wasn't what Peeta needed from her right now. What he needed was an explanation, not physical displays of her affection.
"I knew things weren't exactly easy Katniss, but I had no idea that you were feeling so emotionally overwrought and stressed that you'd actually feel a need to run away from us. You never told me things were getting you down so much. I don't understand why you didn't tell me. Have I ever made you feel that I was unapproachable? I don't think I have." Peeta paused, but Katniss didn't answer him.
"You could have told me, and I would have tried to help you," Peeta said as he watched her with questioning eyes. Katniss could see the hurt and confusion clearly reflected in them, and she could tell by the pleading tone of his voice that he desperately needed answers. She didn't know if she had those answers for him, and again she had to fight the urge to reach out and comfort him. But there was that flicker of something else in his eyes too, something that made her hesitate.
Katniss thought carefully, searching for the best words to offer him, "I know now that I should have said something to you, Peeta, but at the time I just didn't want to burden you with my worries. I wasn't even sure what my worries were exactly, and I couldn't explain them because I didn't understand them myself. Even if I'd told you, you couldn't have fixed what I was going through. I had to figure it out on my own." She hesitated, not knowing whether to continue. Peeta was listening to her carefully, but his eyes had dropped to the floor. She waited for him to say something, anything, but he stayed silent, obviously going over what she had said in his head.
"Can you explain them now?" he finally asked.
"I don't know" Katniss replied. "I can try. But, I want you to know it was never a case of you not being there for me or not helping me enough, Peeta. I don't want you to think that at all. What happened was nothing to do with you," she added softly. "I know you were already doing as much as you could, and I never expected more from you. I knew you had a lot of pressure on you, too - between your Dad and looking after the bakery. I guess I just didn't want to add to your worries when you came home from work. So, instead, I kept them to myself."
Peeta raised his eyes to meet hers again, "And how does coming home from work and finding my wife has run off fit in with your theory of not adding to my worries, Katniss? You have no idea what that did to me. How worried I was about you." Peeta shook his head as if in disgust and turned his face away. Katniss frowned at this action; it was as if he couldn't stand to look at her for more than a few seconds at a time. "You know, you and the kids have always been my first priority, my family is more important to me than anything," Peeta proudly stated, as if he felt he had to remind her.
"I know that Peeta...I just didn't think," she admitted, wringing her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry Peeta," shamed by the truth of his words, it came out as a pleading whisper.
Peeta crossed his arms tightly. "Right," he said, his tone suddenly scathing, causing Katniss to flinch. "You didn't think. Not about what you were doing and what it would do to me, not about how it would affect our kids. That night, the night you left, at first I thought maybe you'd just gone over to see Prim or Annie, and I wondered why you hadn't text me to let me know. But then it got later and later, so I put the kids to bed, and soon after that I figured out something was really wrong. I checked, and found your father's jacket was missing and that's when I realized what you had done."
Katniss leaned forward, trying to move closer to Peeta's side and reached out to lay her hand on his forearm. She wanted him to look at her, "Peeta, maybe I shouldn't have phrased it that way... you know I'm not good with words! It's not that I didn't think of you or care about your feelings. I'm sorry. I'm truly am." Katniss felt like the words were choking her, as she struggled to get them past her lips. "That day... I don't know how to explain it to you. That day, I just hit rock bottom. Aran had cried almost non-stop and I just couldn't take it anymore. I was so exhausted and I wasn't thinking straight. I truly wasn't. I am so sorry for doing that to you, and to them."
Peeta pulled away from her touch, as if the feeling of her skin against his burned, "I am supposed to be your husband, Katniss!" he growled. "You should have trusted me enough to tell me what was going on with you, long before it ever got to the point where you felt running away was your only option. If things were so bad that day, you could have called me, I would have come home. You could have at least called me that night to tell me you were okay. Why didn't you trust me? When did you stop trusting me?"
"I do trust you Peeta, you know I do. I trust you more than anyone, and I explained why I didn't call that night..." Katniss stammered, shocked at the force of his questions.
"You trust me more than anyone?" Peeta scoffed, "Are you sure about that Katniss?" His voice dripped sarcasm, this was not the Peeta she was accustomed to. "Because it doesn't feel like that to me. You avoided me and stayed away for two months, Katniss. Was it really necessary for you to stay away for so long?"
"I didn't know when I left that I would be gone for so long, Peeta. I just felt so overwhelmed when I left. Then, the longer I stayed away, the harder it was to come back."
"Well that's reassuring!" Peeta snapped. "Being told that we're so hard to come back to!"
"You know I don't mean it like that Peeta. I guess I was just afraid to face you. I don't feel good about what I did. But, I thought you wanted to talk, why are you trying to pick a fight with me? I'm doing my best to explain..." Katniss snapped back, her own voice starting to raise to match his. Why was he being like this?
Peeta ignored her question, "Answer me this," he said through clenched teeth. "Where did you really go when you first left Katniss? Or, do I even need to ask?"
His question hung heavy in the air between them.
Katniss inhaled sharply. He knew. He knew she'd lied about being at her Uncle Haymitch's place. The truth in his accusation caused her to immediately become defensive. "Does it really matter where I was Peeta?" she replied sharply. "You know I was in Seam. You knew I was going to come back, I told you on the phone I wasn't walking away or giving up. I just needed to get some space for a while. It just all got on top of me, you know? Keeping up with the house, two young children, it's been hard. Yeah, maybe I should have told you how much it was getting to me sooner, but you're gone from dawn until dusk most days, sometimes later…"
"That's not fair Katniss, I have to work, and you know that!" Peeta interrupted her, "I knew you were finding it difficult to cope with the kids sometimes, and I wish I could have been here more to help with them, but I always did what I could. You know how much I love them, and you. But yeah, I do have a lot of work responsibility on my shoulders, too."
They were glaring at each other now, both angry and breathing heavily. The tension in the room was building and Katniss didn't like where the conversation was heading - but she knew Peeta was far from finished. She could tell he had needed to get all of this off his chest for a long time, and maybe she deserved most of it.
"The truth is Katniss, I already knew where you were and who you were with before I asked you," Peeta revealed. "I already know you went straight to Gale's that night and were staying there all along, while you were getting some space away from me, and our children. I just wondered whether you would volunteer the information yourself. But, you didn't! You're still hiding things from me. I can't believe you lied to me Katniss!"
Katniss felt her stomach flipping - his eyes were cutting through her now, and she finally recognized the emotion she had seen flickering deep within them earlier. Fury. Peeta was furious, and it was all directed at her.
"Peeta, I was going to tell you but..." she stuttered unsure how to continue. Peeta was acting so unlike himself, she didn't know how to respond, how to defend herself. She had always known he hated being lied to more than anything. Why had she told him that stupid lie?
"When were you going to tell me then, Katniss? Hmm?" he raised his eyebrows at her. "You had two months to tell me where you were hiding out. Please don't insult my intelligence any further by trying to make excuses for that. Do you want to know how I found out you were never at your Uncle Haymitch's place?" Peeta's voice rose, but maintained the eerie cool, he answered his own question, "I drove up there. A month after you left. Yeah. Imagine how pathetic I felt when I showed up on your Uncle's doorstep with a box of your favorite cheese buns. Imagine how ridiculous I felt looking for my wife, who had told me she would be there, only find out from Haymitch that he hadn't seen or heard from you in months." His eyes glinted angrily and his tone sent shivers through her.
Katniss reached for Peeta's hand, this time taking it in hers and not letting go when he tried to pull away. His fingers felt stiff in hers, when they used to fit so perfectly between her own, "Ok. Yes, I was staying at Gale's place the whole time. And if you really want to know, I didn't tell you because I thought it would upset you if I told you the truth. While I was there I spent most of my time alone in the woods, or with Hazelle. But, really Peeta?" Katniss could feel her own temper starting to rise, but she tried to contain it, "If you weren't so distrustful of Gale in the first place, then I wouldn't have had to lie about where I was staying. After all the time we've been together, I don't know why you're still so distrustful of him. You know there has never been anything between he and I. I love you. But I can never talk to you about him, or tell you anything about him because I know you get like this." She waved a hand at Peeta, as if to illustrate his irate state.
"I don't trust him around you" Peeta growled in response. "And don't bullshit me. The reason you never went to Haymitch's is because you know there is no way he'd have let you do what you did. He'd have told you to get your ass back home after the first week."
"I didn't want to bother Haymitch. He's an old man." Katniss responded, even though she knew Peeta was right. There was no way her uncle would have let her stay away from her family for two months. But she didn't want to think about that right now.
Still on the defensive, she added "I'm sick of your distrust of Gale. Honestly, it's getting old Peeta. Gale has never acted as anything more than a friend towards me, how many times do I have to tell you that? Or are you accusing me of something? Because if you are, just spit it out," Katniss barked. "I find it insulting that you think that I would have so little self-control - that all it would take is for Gale to make some kind of move on me for me to cheat on you."
"What I can't accept is that you made a conscious decision to lie to me, Katniss. That alone, the fact that you lied, makes me doubt everything else you say. When did you start lying to me?" Peeta threw his hands up and dragged them through his hair, gripping at the roots. His frustration with her was clear. "I don't know what to believe anymore. You're saying all the right words, telling me you're sorry and you love me, but all I know is that when things get too much for you, you run straight to him, your so-called best friend," he stopped, and took a deep breath. Katniss could see he was making a visible effort to calm down before things got any further out of control.
After taking a moment to compose himself, Peeta started to speak again, his tone noticeably calmer. "I'm your husband Katniss, I love you. I think you do mean it when you say you love me, but I just don't feel it. Your actions don't match your words." He locked his eyes with hers, "I'm supposed to be your best friend. You're supposed to come to me when you need comfort, lean on me if things get too much for you. I wanted to be there for you. I'd give my life for you. But instead, you disappeared on me and turned to another man, someone you know I don't trust, and then you lied to me. How do you think that makes me feel? It hurts Katniss," he looked down at their still entwined hands, and pulled his away from hers.
Katniss gasped, his hurt was palpable and his words shocked her. She had expected things to be bad, but she was short sighted, she hadn't anticipated the depth of hurt her actions would inflict on Peeta. She tried to take his hand back, but he wouldn't let her. Instead she placed her hands on either side of his face, turning it and forcing him to meet her eyes.
"Peeta, look at me. No, look at me," she demanded as he tried to pull away. He raised his eyes to meet hers reluctantly. "Please, listen to me. Peeta, you have to understand that it's not him I go to for comfort. You've never understood that. It's the woods. They're what comforts me, makes me feel safe, the place, not Gale. Please, you've got to understand the difference!" Katniss pleaded.
"I think it's you that doesn't understand that the two are entwined, Katniss. You say the woods give you comfort and make you feel safe - do I not do those things for you anymore? You used to say the place you felt safest in the world, was in my arms." Peeta searched her eyes, as if looking for reassurance that he still mattered to her. In that moment, he looked so vulnerable that It shattered Katniss' heart.
"It still is Peeta," tears were beginning to fall down Katniss face as she watched him.
Peeta saw her tears falling, but he made no move to offer her any comfort. "I saw you, you know," he said darkly. "With Gale, when I was in Seam. After I talked to Haymitch I went to his house to find you, and I saw you laughing and smiling on the back porch with him. He threw his arm around you. You were obviously happy, looking like you didn't have a worry in the world. And I thought maybe that was the life you should have had. A life in Seam with him. That maybe you thought marrying me was a mistake."
"I'm sorry Peeta!" she shouted at him in frustration now, tears streaming down her face, "how many times can I say it? Whatever you saw between me and Gale you know there is nothing between us. There never has been. He is just my friend, I swear to you. I love you. I've never regretted marrying you, ever! How could you even think that?"
"The point is you seem to need him, or the woods, more than you need me when you are having a crisis Katniss. It's what you've always done, run away to him, when the going gets tough." He shook his head. "I'm not going to let you hurt me like this again, I don't think I could survive something like this again, and I am determined you are not going to hurt our children. And make no mistake, what you did hurt them, too. They missed you terribly Katniss." His tone was filled with contempt now, and she felt shame washing over her again at the thought of her children upset and missing her. "They are old enough to realize you were gone for a long time. Skye was so upset, constantly asking when you were coming home, she has regressed and started waking at night again, having bad dreams and won't go anywhere without her blanket. Aran just kept looking for you all the time. Please, explain to me how you could do that to them?"
Katniss looked deep down within herself to try and find the explanation he needed. "It's not like I abandoned them, Peeta. I knew they'd be okay with you. I knew you'd look after them, you're a much better parent then I will ever be... I'll make it up to them, and to you, I promise." Katniss looked at him with pleading eyes, "Please Peeta, you have to believe me. I want to make it up to you. I want to make it up to them. I'm sorry I lied to you. I swear I will never do anything like this to you again. I didn't think it would hurt you so badly."
"That's not an explanation though, Katniss." Peeta said, his voice firm. "I told you already I had to put the kids in full-time daycare. We had to rearrange the whole bakery schedule. Rye had to take over opening up in the mornings again, and I've had to go back to working weekends to make up. Do you know how many peoples' lives were impacted by what you did? And it all could have been avoided if you just talked to me."
"All I can say is I'm sorry Peeta. How many times do you want me to say it? I had no idea when I left I would be away for so long. I didn't plan it that way. I honestly thought I'd only be gone for a couple of days," she whispered, her bottom lip trembling as she tried to keep her composure.
"So what made you come back now Katniss? Why now?" Peeta asked, "what changed?"
"Haven't you heard a single word I've said?" Katniss snapped back at him, "I love you Peeta. I missed you. I missed the kids, too. I came home because I finally felt strong enough to pick up the pieces of my life again and I want to be with my family. I want to be with you. I never intended to hurt anyone, but it seems I did.
"Yes, you did. Two months is a very long time for your son and your daughter to miss you, Katniss. Not to mention me. How did you think it would make me feel when you stayed away from us like this?" His eyes were blazing and his jaw was clenched angrily.
Katniss raised her hand to his face again, cupping his jaw in her hand, trying to smooth the anger from it, "I thought you'd be okay. I never thought you'd think that my going away was a reflection on how I feel about you or about our marriage. I just had to get my head back on straight. It's been a very rough year, with Aran and everything… but I can see now how selfish you think I've been."
As she studied him, Katniss noticed just how tired Peeta looked. His eyes were red rimmed and there were dark circles underneath. He looked thinner too, like he had lost weight, and there were lines on his face that hadn't been there before. She finally started to get an idea of what a massive toll her absence had taken on him. She had been selfish, and thoughtless, to leave him alone for so long.
"It's been a rough year for me, too, Katniss," Peeta interrupted her train of thought. "With my Dad retiring and Graham moving away. Rye and I are trying to run the bakery with just the two of us, when there used to be four. God knows, I tried to be there for you in every way I could, and I would have liked to have been able to rely on some support from my wife, too. But, you wouldn't even come home when I begged you to, when I told you how much I needed you. So much for us being partners."
Katniss chose to ignore that last jab, as she studied his face, "So, how can I make this up to you, Peeta? Tell me how can I fix things?" she asked quietly.
Peeta didn't answer her immediately. The longer he didn't answer, the more anxious Katniss became. Finally, he looked up and took a deep breath, his eyes searching her face, "That's just it Katniss." he said, a noticeable tremor in his voice. "I don't think I can forgive you this time. I don't understand how you could just leave me and the kids like that, and then stay away for so long. Especially when I begged for you to come home, and told you how much I needed you. I don't know if I can forgive you for avoiding me, and lying to me. I love you, but you've broken something between us."
Katniss swallowed the lump that appeared in her throat, Peeta's words and body language were making her extremely nervous. She'd never seen him act like this before, not in the whole of their twelve year relationship. "Peeta, I think you're over-reacting. I know I have a lot of making up to do, but it's not like I ran off and had an affair. Things aren't broken between us! I just needed some time away. Why is that so hard to understand?"
Peeta was silent for a moment, watching her, "You still don't get it, do you Katniss? Maybe you didn't have an affair, but when you feel things are so bad in our home that you have to retreat to another man's home to find the comfort and support you need, then something isn't right. I can't trust you anymore. Not with my kids, and not with my heart." Peeta stopped and stood up, moving to stare out the window into their back yard, with his back to her. It was if he needed to put physical distance between them. He raised his hand to rub the nape of his neck.
"I came to a decision while you were gone, Katniss. I think it's best for all concerned that you don't come back here to stay today. I've already spoken to Prim and told her a little of how I feel, and she says you can stay with her and Rory until we get everything sorted out."
"What do you mean, until we get everything sorted out? Get what sorted out?" Katniss asked, her voice climbing an octave in panic. Peeta was really scaring her now. He was insinuating some powerful things about the composition of their relationship. He sounded so ominous, like he wanted nothing to do with her. This cold, detached, angry man in front of her was not her Peeta. It was like a stranger had stepped into his place and taken over his body. She didn't recognize the person standing with his back to her.
Peeta turned his head and met her gaze. The fury was gone, spent, and was replaced with so much raw pain, her heart clenched at what she saw in his beautiful blue eyes. Had she really hurt him this much?
Instead of saying anything else, he tore his eyes away from hers and walked across the room to pick something up off a small desk in the corner. Returning to where she sat, he tossed a buff colored envelope into her lap. She could see his hands were trembling.
"What is this?" Katniss asked, picking up the envelope, her voice shaking with anxiety.
"Open it," he replied simply. He turned away again, pushing his hands into his pockets and returned to stand gazing out the window into the back yard. His posture was totally closed off.
Slowly, Katniss opened the envelope and pulled out several sheets of paper. On top of the first sheet in bold typeface were the words "Petition for Dissolution of Marriage" and her heart shattered in her chest. She couldn't breathe. It was as if all the air had been sucked out of the room, and she was suffocating.
A petition for divorce. Peeta wanted a divorce. Katniss felt lightheaded, as she suddenly saw her whole world crashing down around her.
"Peeta!" She gasped out when she finally caught her breath. She could feel her heart beating erratically in her chest. Jumping up from the sofa she ran to where Peeta stood, thrusting the papers forcefully against his chest, shaking her head at him. "No! No, no, no… Not this? I don't accept this Peeta! Please, I know I've made some huge mistakes and you have every right to be angry with me, but I came back to try and make everything better...I want to put things right! You can't really want this! Won't you at least give me a chance to try to do that? What about the children?"
Peeta laughed softly, but it wasn't a pleasant sound, "The children?" he repeated, "Did you think of the children two months ago, when you walked out of this house and left me to pick up the pieces and explain to them their mama was gone? No. You've already admitted you didn't. So, we'll work out a parenting plan, but the children will be staying right here, with me. This is their home, and this is where they belong. My lawyer has already advised me that given your tendency for disappearing for months on end and lying about your whereabouts, with no apparent concern for their wellbeing, that I should seek full custody."
"You've already consulted lawyers about custody?" Katniss could feel the room beginning to spin around her. She made her way back to the sofa and sat down heavily before her legs collapsed from under her. This time it was she who dropped her head into her hands. She was so confused. How had everything spiralled out of control so fast?
Katniss raised her head and tried to focus. "Please Peeta, if you feel this way, can't we at least try counseling or something before you give up? I don't believe you really want this, don't do this, please I love you! Don't give up on us." she made a choking sound, as the tears she'd been fighting to hold back began to roll down her face again. She wrapped her arms around herself, whispering, "Peeta, I want to try, don't you want to try?" She hesitated, scared to ask the question she feared the answer too most, "Don't you love me anymore?"
Peeta whirled around to face her, and she could see the anguish he was feeling written all over his face.
"I do love you, Katniss, but I can't go back to what we were. I can't constantly be on edge worrying when next I'm going to come home from work and find you've abandoned us. I can't live with the thought that maybe you're going to disappear on us again. On me again. Or that maybe next time you'll take my children with you. Better that you go now, and are gone for good." Katniss could hear Peeta's voice breaking with the force of his emotions behind his words. Each one felt like a dagger in her heart.
The enormity of what was happening hit her like a freight train. With sudden clarity, she knew that what she had done had convinced Peeta that she didn't want him. She had known on some level, that he would find some way to blame himself for her taking off that day, but she had never anticipated it would have this much of an effect on him. Katniss finally admitted to herself that she had acted selfishly. She could see now her biggest mistake had been taking his love for granted. For so long that she had just assumed that his love would always be hers. This was what Hazelle had been trying to warn her about. That even the most patient man had his limits. She had taken it for granted that when she came home, he would be waiting for her, the same kind, loving, and understanding man he had always been. She realized she had taken advantage of him, and now it looked like she was going to lose him. And it terrified her.
"I don't want to lose you Peeta," she whimpered. "You and our kids mean everything to me. Please, you have to believe me."
"You didn't even call me for a full week after you left Katniss!" Peeta finally exploded, tears she hadn't known he'd been holding back slipping down his cheeks. He stood with his hands clenched in fists at his sides. "How could you think so little of me, that you left me waiting a full week for a phone call?"
Katniss went to him then and tried to wrap her arms around him. She could not recall ever seeing Peeta cry like this before, the only time she'd seen him cry they'd been happy tears - on their wedding day and again on the days their children were born.
Peeta shook her off again. "I was frantic." He began to rant and prowl the room, pointing his finger at her face, "I remembered how you used to disappear to the woods before, when we were in college, but I never thought you would do it again now. That you would do that to our children, especially considering how you feel about how your own mother abandoned you." He sneered.
Katniss flinched, the full effect of Peeta's words hitting her like a punch in the stomach. "Don't you dare compare me to her!" she shouted back at him. I did not abandon my children! I left them knowing they would be safe in the care of their father. Don't you dare compare what I did, to my mother leaving Prim and I to fend for ourselves!" In her mind, she would never accept what she did to her children was abandonment.
But Peeta was still ranting, as if he hadn't heard a word she'd said, his breathing loud and erratic. "All I got was one lousy text, then a phone call a week later saying you were okay, and you'd be back when you felt better. Do you realize that whenever we spoke, you never once asked me how the kids or I were coping in your absence? Not once! Is that an indication of how much you cared, Katniss? Then you stopped answering my calls. You didn't reply to texts. I didn't know if you were really going to come back. You didn't even call to check how the kids were when I stopped calling you," Peeta stopped to catch his breath, running his hands through his hair to try and calm himself down.
"Peeta..." Katniss tried to get a word in to defend herself but he held up his hand to stop her before she could get any further.
"No. I don't want to hear it." He cut off what she tried to say. "We're just going around in circles now. That day I went to Haymitch's to try to talk to you and I saw you sitting smiling and laughing with Hawthorne as if you hadn't a single care in the world was the final straw. It's the last time I'll let you walk away from me, and go to him."
Finally, Katniss had had enough too. "You may not want to hear it, but I'm going to say it Peeta. This has nothing to do with Gale," she threw at him. "He has only ever been a friend to me. That's all. I know what I did was wrong but we can try to work this out or you can throw it all away. I still love you and you say you love me. I want to work this out." She stared at him, desperately searching his face for any sign that she was getting through to him, but he was wearing that carefully composed mask again.
Taking a deep breath, Katniss made one last impassioned plea in an attempt to get through to him. "You promised me you'd stay with me, always, Peeta." She allowed her chin to drop to her chest as she tried to fight back the tears streaming down her face. "We took vows. For better or worse. Please... stay with me?" her voice broke on a sob as she the words.
"I kept my promise, and my vows, Katniss" Peeta replied, his voice lower, but still firm, as if his mind was made up. "It was you who broke them when you didn't stay for me. We're done. I'm done. I want a divorce."
So, I'm sorry? This is the plot bunny that hit me, and I had to take it where it wanted to go. Some of you saw this coming, for others, if you are wondering what the hell just happened, my inspiration for this story came from the song "Six Degrees of Separation" by The Script. (hint hint).
Thanks again to my wonderful Beta Kismet4891 and my friend KnottedEnergy who have encouraged me from the start to take this plotline where it wanted to go. Anyone who wishes to continue to read, the next chapter will be up in approximately 10 days.
Thanks to all who have read and reviewed so far! I hope you stick around.