God of Destruction Abridged

by LorenzoJ10

So what happens when you take the MHA Cinnamon roll and turn him into a God of Destruction by a certain Genie man. Well this is a general idea, based off of DBZ Abridged and the internet in general. Just read it for yourself and I will not be apologizing for ANY of my jokes. You have Been warned.

1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Pecking Order

Izuku was not having a great day, his middle school classes had ended but Katsuki had to go and give him a beating, making him late for the train to the other side of town. "Oh man, I am so lost here." Said Izuku out loud as he realized he had no idea where he was, "I thought if I took the back alleyways I would be able to cut down on traffic but I have no idea where I am, did I pass the store? Oh How am I going to get that limited edition All Might Pin now?" Izuku kept walking down the alleyway looking for a way back to the main street, "I guess I should just head home before it gets too late."

"WHERE IS IT!"

"Huh?" Izuku heard the loud voice and looked to see a very large Pink Elephant man staring at a wall, "Huh, who's that guy and what's with that outfit he's wearing? Is he a hero!" Izuku then got excited as he reached into his backpack and pulled out his notebook. "Maybe he's a new hero and I can get his autograph."

"Relax, Lord Rumsshi," said a Feminine voice.

Izuku froze as he saw a smaller person that was closer to his size. She was also wearing a weird outfit, her skin was blue and her hair was braided to one side. She was holding a staff towards the wall, "Is she his sidekick? But she looks closer to my age?"

"It's around her somewhere, Lord Rumsshi, I'll find it here any moment now." said the girl as she kept her staff near the wall as she moved it around.

"Hurry, Kusu, the last thing I need is for Beerus to fix another one of our problems." said Rumsshi, "If anyone is going to save this world it's going to be us."

"Save the world?" repeated Izuku as he realized what they were, 'So they are heroes, maybe they're from another country, international heroes!'

"I understand, I'm still surprised that our form of Earth can produce someone with the capability to jump-" Suddenly the girl's staff began to glow. "Oh here it is, we found the jump point."

"Uh excuse-" Izuku reached a hand out to try and get their attention but-

"Activate it." ordered Rumsshi.

"Yes sir." As Kusu activated her staff.

"Huh?" The next thing Izuku knew was that he was suddenly pulled towards the wall along with the Elephant and the girl. Izuku was about to scream as he saw a bright light but just as quickly as the light came it vanished and Izuku quickly found himself on the floor of a large open area. "What the?" Izuku looked around and saw he was in some sort of large garden next to a large ornate building.

"Kusu, are we really in the 7th Universe?" asked the Elephant.

Kusu looked at her staff, "Yes, I have confirmed we are now in fact now in the seventh universe."

"I so where is-"

"There you are, trunk face!" yelled a voice.

Izuku looked up in time to see a massive ball of energy hitting the large Elephant man; the explosion was strong enough to send Izuku flying backwards landing in a bush. Izuku quickly double checked, making sure he was alive before looking up and saw what he could only describe as a large cat flying in the air. "Did that cat just throw a nuke?"

Rumsshi quickly waved his hand causing the smoke to clear, "What's the big idea Beerus?"

"What's the big idea, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA!" yelled Beerus. "Did you hear that, Whis, this pink idiot wonders what's the big idea."

"Yes I heard, my lord." said A Man named Whis.

"The big idea, Rumsshi, is the fact that my universe keeps having to clean up your mess."

Rumsshi popped in vain, "Oh Shut up Beerus and don't tell me how to do my job."

"Well clearly I do need to tell you because we've been doing it for you." Yelled Beerus angering Rumsshi causing the Elephant to begin flying in the air. "First we needed to fix your Kai apprentice problem, then we had to deal with your Acolyte problem that was attacking universe 6 and then we had to deal with Zamasu's resurrection. Now we're dealing with a freaking universe hopper what the hell."

"I said SHUT UP, BEERUS!"

"How did this Universe Hopper come about?" asked Whis as he walked over to Kusu.

"A rapid evolution planet appeared not too long ago." explained Kusu.

"A rapid evolution planet?" repeated Whis slightly surprised, "And it hasn't been destroyed yet?"

Izuku blinked and stared at the two people flying above him. "What?" said Izuku quietly to himself trying to process what he had just heard. 'Rapid evolution planet? Do they mean quirks?'

"I'M GOING TO GET TO IT WHEN I GET TO IT!" yelled Rumsshi as he became increasingly more frustrated.

"Are you kidding me!" yelled Beerus, "A planet that has appeared where people are breaking the laws of reality and you haven't gotten to it yet!?"

Rumsshi responded by punching Beerus. "I will tell you one final time, to shut up!"

Beerus blinked and locked eyes with Rumsshi. "You are going to regret that." Beerus then powered up causing the air around him to shake. Rumsshi responded and did the same but bigger, "Don't you dare try to threaten me Beerus, I'm no weakling."

Soon Izuku felt as everything around him began to shake. Izuku had no idea who these people were but even he could tell he was looking at beings so strong they made All Might look weak.

"Excuse me!" Izuku looked over and saw a man with very jet black skin, wearing a genie outfit standing next to the entrance of the building as an urn next to him broke. "Rule #6."

"Oh hello Mr. Popo." said Whis in a friendly tone.

Though as Izuku saw the two he could see that Kusu was sweating as her eyes locked onto Mr. Popo and the urn. She then turned to the two flying in the air, "Okay, break it up you two, a fight here could cause quite a bit of problems and we need to find the Universe Hopper." She then turned to Whis, "Where is the Universe Hopper?"

"Currently with a friend of ours." said Whis as he began to float into the air, "Come I will take you to them."

Soon Izuku watched as the four of them left, flying off in a direction unknown. "What the hell is going on?" he asked as he got out of the bushes.

"Well aren't you an interesting maggot." Izuku turned to see Mr Popo was looking right at him. "You didn't crush my pot, did you?"

"Huh?" Izuku then looked around and saw a few pots next to the bush he landed in, Izuku quickly examined the plants. "Uh, no it looks like all the pots of….Uh i'm not sure what these are but they do look fine to me, what are these?"

"Pot," said Mr Popo before putting a lite blunt in his mouth and taking a drag of it, "South City kush, some great shit."

Izuku stared at the man for a moment before asking a very big question, "Uh excuse me sir, but where the hell am I?"

"Kami's lookout."

"Kami…as in….god kami?"

"Yep."

"...Are you god?"

"Not the one you're thinking of." said Mr. Popo as he took another drag from his weed, "So tell me maggot, you don't look like you've climbed up here on your own, you came here with the dumb Elephant huh?"

"Yes sir."

"That idiot broke rule #6."

"Rule #6?"

Mr. Popo looked at Izuku and realized something. "Oh right, you don't know the pecking order yet do you?"

"Pecking order?"

"It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside the dirt, Popo's Stool, Kami and then Mr. Popo." Said Mr. Popo, confusing Izuku as the boy had no idea how to respond or if he was somehow dreaming all of this. "Any question?"

"Uh a few-" Izuku then felt a rush of wind as he was suddenly upside down, being held up by his foot over the edge of the lookout. Izuku stared out into the open air and was so shocked he couldn't even scream. "I'm sorry Mr. Popo." squeaked out Izuku, hoping to any other god that he would be okay.

"Good," said Popo as he tossed Izuku back into the bush. "Now then-" Mr. Popo paused for a moment and looked to the side as a figure suddenly appeared.

Izuku looked and saw the man, he was wearing a green shirt with a black jacket over it and baggy pants, he had a goatee on his face and messy hair. "A hippie?"

"What up, Shaggy." greeted .

"What up my dude." said Shaggy greeting Mr. Popo. "What's going on? I suddenly felt two gods about to throw down, I missed the gods duke it out during the Tournament of Power, and didn't want to miss another one."

"Eh, you know how it goes, one of them broke Rule #6 and his angel was smart enough to get out quickly." Explained Mr. Popo.

"Ah Oh, they shouldn't have done that," said Shaggy before turning to Izuku, "So who's this kid, doesn't look like a fighter."

"He's not, just some maggot, that the idiot unknowingly dragged here."

"Gotcha, well you got a name kid?"

Izuku stood up tall and gave a respectful bow, "Huh, Hi, I'm Izuku Midoriya sir. I don't suppose either of you guys can take me home or are you just going to kill me?"

This caused Mr. Popo to laugh and for Shaggy to shake his head, "Oh just relax kid, here drink some of this and calm down." as Shaggy handed Izuku a bottle.

"Oh thanks," Said Izuku as he took a sip from the bottle, he thought it was water but the moment it touched his tongue he could tell something was wrong, "Oh god, what is this?"

Shaggy thought for a moment, "Oh shit, this isn't my water bottle. This is a mixture of liquid weed and LSD."

Izuku went wide eyed, "WHAT?"

"Have a nice trip." waved Shaggy.

Izuku blinked for a moment as suddenly all the colors around him began to bleed out into each other and the world began to spin around faster and faster. Izuku was suddenly in his own version of All Might's Silver Age outfit screaming at the top of his lungs, "I AM HERE!"

~o~

The next thing Izuku felt was a big splash of water hitting him but he didn't react any more than just opening his eyes, seeing he was face down on the floor before turning his head and looking up at a green man with a bucket.

"Hey you alive kid?"

"A…..a..martian?" Izuku attempted to reply.

"The fuck is a martian, actually a better question is who the fuck are you?"

Izuku thought back to what he remembered happening last and remembered . "The scary genie man called me maggot and the hippie drugged me."

"Well that explains why you were running around without a shirt on and rambling endlessly about your notes."

Izuku rolled over on his back and looked down, noticing he was in fact shirtless, "Where is my shirt?"

"No idea, names Dende by the way." said Dende as he helped Izuku up. "Oh god you look like shit and not in a good way. You're so stringy, it's just sad compared to other men I know. Here clothes beam."

Suddenly with a bright beam Izuku was wearing a shirt with the letters SKD on the front. Izuku had several questions he wanted to ask about this power but his head was pounding too hard for him to make a clear thought. "I really want to go home. I really just want to go home." said Izuku, exacerbated.

"Where do you live?" asked Dende.

"Mustafar."

"Where the hell is that?"

"Universe 10." The two turned to see Shaggy standing in the doorway eating from a bag of cookies.

Izuku looked at Shaggy with pure fear in his eyes. "You….you drugged me!"

Shaggy giggled a bit, "Yeah funniest shit I've seen in centuries."

"WHY?!" asking Izuku who was practically screaming as he was reaching his limit.

"I thought you would be out long enough for the Elephant to take you back home, speaking of which, where the hell is he?"

"Still out with the other Maggots," said Mr. Popo as he walked out of the building. "So, little green, how's your hand?"

It took Izuku a moment to realize he was talking to him. "My hand…" He tried to flex his right fist before screaming in pain and falling to his knees. "Ow what the hell happened to my hand."

"You punched the wall as hard as you could while screaming Texas Smash." explained Mr. Popo. "You did far more damage to your hand than the wall, so you haven't broken rule #6 yet." Everyone turned to see that tears were coming out of Izuku's eyes. "Oh is the bitch going to start crying?"

"FUCK OFF!" yelled Izuku with tears coming out of his eyes and slightly scaring Dende a bit, "I GET ENOUGH SHIT FROM HOME, MY DAD WANTS NOTHING FROM ME, I GET MY ASS KICKED ALL THE FUCKING TIME AT SCHOOL, NOW I'M GETTING DRUGGED UP AND FUCKED WITH BY A DAMN HIPPE AND A GENIE MAN." He then marched up to Mr. Popo as all of the rage that has built up over his life began pouring out, "SO FUCK OFF OR I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!"

The whole lookout was silent for a moment aside from Shaggy munching on his cookies, before a silent screaming noise came from Dende who was sweating bullets at the whole scene in front of him. After a while Izuku's face lost his rage and began to get worried he may have insulted the wrong man, though Mr. Popo had an unexpected reaction. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA." Popo just laughed, "Not bad maggot, not bad."

"Uh thank you." said Izuku, not sure how to respond or what to say.

Shaggy then looked up, "Oh hey looks like your ride is here kid."

Izuku looked up to see Rumsshi and Kusu flying towards them. "Oh they're back," Then Izuku looked at Rumsshi's pissed off face, "And he doesn't look too happy."

"He fucked up that's why." said Shaggy.

"Care to repeat that mortal." said Rumsshi as he landed along with Kusu, as they landed Izuku could see Kusu terrified face as she looked upon Shaggy.

"You fucked up." said Shaggy as he continued to eats his cookies, "And from the sounds of it you fucked up a lot."

"SHUT IT MORTIE!" yelled Rumsshi.

"RUMSSHI STOP!" yelled Kusu but it fell on deaf ears.

Rumsshi fired a blast of energy at Shaggy, Rumsshi expected that the energy would be far more than enough to obliterate the man in front of him but instead once the energy made contact with Shaggy it bounced off towards the sky before exploding into a large ball of light. "What?" Rumsshi stared wide eyed at Shaggy who was completely unfazed and still munching on his cookies.

"RUMSSHI STOP RIGHT NOW!" yelled Kusu as she began to panic.

"Kusu?"

"I suggest you listen to her," said Popo as he stepped forward, "You already broke my stuff, but your surprise tag along gave me some entertainment today, so hurry up and clean up the urn you broke and take the boy back to your universe before you ruin my good mood."

Rumsshi the god of destruction of Universe 10, who has lived for thousands of years, didn't think and let his body give his answer, a quick punch to Mr. Popo's face. The punch was so strong it caused a gust of wind to blow around them and Izuku was nearly kicked off his feet. "That punch was as strong as All Mights." said Izuku as he looked over at Mr. Popo expecting his face to be smashed in, but he wasn't.

Suddenly the sound of Kusu's staff falling to the ground got his attention. The girl's mouth was gapping like a fish out of water as she looked on in absolute horror. "...Ru…..Rumsshi…..what have you done?"

Rumsshi turned to Kusu, "Putting a simple attendant in his place."

Shaggy then burst out into a fit of laughter before covering his mouth, "Oh shit, dude, you broke rule #0."

Izuku was now confused. "Rule #0?"

"The unsung rule," said Dende as he began shaking in horror, "The rule that doesn't ever need to be said, 'Never, EVER, attack Mr. Popo, with the intent to kill'."

"It seems someone needs to be reminded of the pecking order." said Mr. Popo as his mood was clearly ruined.

Rumsshi pulled his fist back to reveal that was unharmed and wasn't smiling. "What? That punch should have been enough to make your head roll." A sudden sharp pain on Rumsshi's fist got his attention, he looked down as a black haze began to cover his fist, "Wha…what the hell is this?"

Kusu got on her hands and knees with her face to the ground, "Oh lord Popo, father of Grand Zeno, please forgive us for our transgressions, please have mercy, my lord."

Rumsshi's pink face suddenly began to lose all of its color, "Father of GRAND ZENO, the Omni King of the whole Multiverse!"

"That's right, you're boss is my boy." said Popo as he began to smile again as the black mist began to spread across Rumsshi's body.

Rumsshi tried to step away but was beginning to lose control over his body as he felt it begin to be absorbed by the darkness. "Please, have mercy."

Popo gave a simple response, "No."

Rumsshi in a last be of desperation pointed his good hand at Mr. Popo. "HAKAI!"

A wave of destruction hit Mr. Popo but he was unfazed by it and just giggled, "Oh my, how adorable, but this is what you get for touching the VOID."

"No, nooooo, nooooooooo" screamed Rumsshi as the darkness consumed him whole.

Izuku couldn't help but watch as the Elephant man was consumed by the darkness before it disappeared, leaving nothing behind, "What just happened?"

"Dumbo got eaten raw." said Shaggy as he ate another cookie without a care in the world.

"Oph, forgot how tough elephant meat was, and I thought garlic was bad." said Mr. Popo with a smile on his face.

"I am so sorry," said Kusu, whose face was still on the floor, "I promise you my lord, I will find a worthy new god of destruction, one who will show absolute respect, even if he doesn't know who you are."

"Oh right, as the oldest of your siblings you're the only one that knows who I am," said Mr. Popo, "That and of course your father and my boy's bodyguards."

Kusu looked up at Mr. Popo with fear still in her eyes, "Yes, Lord Popo, but do not worry, I will still keep your secret, I am still quite aware how much you want to be left to your quiet solitude, sir."

"Quite, running the multiverse was a pain in the ass the first time, don't want to do that again." He said as he then turned to Izuku, who was still shocked silent by what he just witnessed, "But don't bother finding a new god of destruction."

Kusu gave a confused look, "Sir?"

Mr. Popo pointed at Izuku. "This boy here should do as a new god of destruction."

"Huh?"

Everyone turned to Izuku who looked like a deer in headlights, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Wow, damn and I thought I got lucky with becoming god here." said Dende.

"YOU'RE A GOD!"

"Yep, and it looks like you've just become a god of destruction my friend."

"What does that mean?" asked Izuku.

"Gods Of Destruction are beings of immense power, they have the ability to destroy planets, civilizations, or even whole species if they wanted to." Explained Shaggy, "They are responsible for destroying anything that might be a threat to the universe as a whole. I was a god of destruction for a few millennia, not a bad gig."

"What destroying entire species, like killing people, like a villain?" said Izuku in horror.

"Yep," said Popo, "It'll be a whole lot of fun for you."

Izuku began shaking as he looked directly at , "Um….just hypothetically, I were to respectfully and I do mean with the utmost respect, decline this offer, what would-"

"Was Dumbo not a good enough example?"

Izuku became straight as a board, "Nope, I'm good, I am good. No need for another example, sir."

"Excellent," said Mr. Popo, "Okay, Kusu, take this maggot back to Unirvierse 10 and turn him into a God of Destruction in a year."

Kusu just stared at Mr. Popo, said "Yes, sir." Then she remembered the year part, "What, you want me to make him a god of Destruction in a year?"

"Yep."

Kusu slowly swallowed the lump in her throat, "Uh…sir, what happens if I am, hypothetically and I do just mean hypothetically unable to turn him into a proper God of Destruction?" Mr. Popo said nothing and continued to stare at Kusu until his gaze reached her soul. "Understood sir, I will make him a proper God of Destruction in one year."

"Good, this will be fun to watch." said Mr. Popo as he looked forward to his new entertainment.

~o~

Izuku and Kusu both stepped out of the portal landing on top of a large building overlooking Mustafar. Izuku overlooked the city wondering if everything he had just experienced was nothing more than a bad dream, until he looked over at Kusu who looked dead inside, "So what's going to happen now?"

Kusu slowly turned to face Izuku, her new god of destruction, a boy who was so weak he couldn't even beat a rabbit in a fight, before giving an honest answer, "We are screwed."

Izuku slowly nodded, "Yeah I figured as much but what else is new."

~o~

Back in universe 7, Shaggy walked through Kami's lookout before he found Mr. Popo looking at a wall showing Izuku and Kusu walking through the city, "So mind telling me the point of all this?"

"Boredom."

"And?"

"And a chance to redo some parts of the gods of destruction." Admitted Popo as he pulled out a cell phone.

"That kid is going to need more of a challenge if you want him to get strong enough to fuck with the other gods."

"Way ahead of you." said Popo as he then waited for the person on the other end to answer the phone, "Sup my Vamp, how are you doing Alucard?"

"Oh shit, Mr. P is that you?" asked Alucard over the phone.

"The one and only."

"Ah how can I help you, all mighty God Fucker."

"I'm fucking with a kid and his planet, want to help?"

"What do you need me to do, but I should remind you, I'm not a priest."

"Yeah not that kind of fucking, I'll get you some whores later for that."

"Now you've got my attention, what do you need?" asked Alucard excitedly.

"I'm going to give you the power to hop universes and dimensions, I need you to grab a few people for me and dump them somewhere for me."

"Oh sweet, where am I dumping them?"

"An alternate version of earth filled with a bunch of superhero idiots." explained .

"Alright, who am I picking up first, or do you want me to send in the police girl?" asked Alucard.

"Nah, let's start with something slightly bigger, grab an asshole named Hanma and bring him to me, I'll give you the location then."

"Sweet, I'm coming."

"Not too fast, I want to take my time with this one." said Mr. Popo with a laugh.

Shaggy light a blunt and took a drag, 'I hope they use my gift sooner rather than later.'

---

A/N: Okay so full disclosure, I do not have more chapters of this fic uploaded on my . I am just uploading this to get a general reaction from people to see if they want to see more of this. I made this after rewatching all of DBZ abridged and regular Dragon Ball Since Diama was coming out and since the passing of the author. So in a nutshell this is a comedy and not like my other series which have a slightly more Drama or action tone, this fic if you guys want me to continue with it, will be leaning more on comedy/ dark comedy. Also if you are wondering why this isn't a crossover, it is because I am going to have several other characters show up if I continue this one so if a random character suddenly appears don't be surprised.

But tell me your thoughts I am eager to here what you think of this idea of the My Hero's cinnamon roll becoming a God of Destruction.

PS if you have any ideas with this one let me know. May Memes and Abridges live on in the Internet forever.