I have a system for this: Dipper, Mabel, Lori and then Lisa. And possibly any other short. But a couple of reviewers sent me transcripts of their own version of this and I couldn't pass it up. Thanks you two guests and snake screamer for the ideas.

I own nothing.

Dipper and Lincoln's Guide 4: The Mailbox

The camera turned on, and it showed Dipper and Lincoln somewhere in the woods.

"Welcome back to Dipper & Lincoln's Guide to the Unexplained. Anomaly #54: The Mailbox."

Lincoln spoke this time, and moved the camera to show an old mailbox. "As you can see, we found an old mailbox here in the middle of the forest. There aren't any signs of a house anywhere. Not even an address. So Dipper, myself and our expert."

Soos came into view, he was wearing lab goggles and lab coat. "Sup."

"We are gonna put a letter in and see who picks it up." Lincoln continued.

"My letter posits a salient question: "Sup Dawg?" Soos said, and placed the letter in the mailbox.

"Now we're gonna hide behind a bush, and wait for someone to come by-

Dipper didn't get a chance a finish, due to the mailbox starting to shake.

"What the?" Both brothers exclaimed in unison.

"Oh, dude!" Soos said as he backed away.

The flag on the mailbox rose up, and the mailbox stopped shaking.

Soos looked freaked out and said," Did you dudes see that?"

Lincoln and Dipper approached it hesitantly.

"Who's gonna open it?" Dipper said.

Lincoln gulped and said," Well, I am an 'ARGHH!' cadet. So like Hunter Spector, I'll be the one to do it."

Lincoln opened the mailbox and pulled out a letter.

Lincoln looked shocked and said," Holy shmoly! It's not our letter!

Dipper looked equally shocked and said," Seriously?!"

Lincoln opened it, and his eyes widened.

Soos grabbed the letter, read it and showed it to the camera. "Hello Lucas, Lincoln and Soos."

"It knows our names!" Dipper exclaimed.

"What if this thing's all-knowing?" Soos suggested.

Lincoln thought about it and said," There's only one way to find out."

The camera fizzled and once it cleared, it showed the boys. Besides them, the Loud sisters, sans Mabel, were also with them.

"I'm still think you punking us." Lori said with crossed arms.

"It is rather nice here. Creepy and spooky." Lucy said.

"We're not joking Lori. Just write a letter and place it in." Dipper said.

Lori sighed, she then grabbed the pen and paper from her brother and said," Fine. 'Will Bobby Santiago and I get married?'" She wrote and placed it in the mailbox.

Everyone who didn't witness it earlier, gasped when the mailbox shook and stopped. Lori hesitantly opened it and looked at the letter.

"'Surprises are better, Lori. You'll have to find out yourself.'" Lori gasped happily. "There's literally a chance of it happening!"

"'How many dimensions are there in Superstring and Bosonic String Theory?'" Lisa wrote and placed it in the mailbox. Once it stopped shaking, she opened it and read the letter. "Superstring: 10 Bosonic: 26 Hmm, fascinating."

Dipper was next and wrote,"' When is the end of the world?'" Once the letter came he read it. "'3012. Huh. We've got a while."

"You sure? It Maya be wrong! Haha!" Luan joked and everyone groaned.

"'What is one thing I'm getting for Christmas?'" Luna wrote, and once she got the letter, she gasped happily."A MULTI NECK GUITAR! Thank you Santa!"

"Let's ask it more questions!" Soos said.

"Yeah!" Everyone cheered.

Lincoln thought about it for a moment, and said," I got it! Let's ask it who the author of the journal is!"

"That's a great idea bro!" Dipper said.

Lola thought otherwise and said," Not as interesting as asking it if I'll be winning Miss Universe when I'm older, but go ahead."

"After you guys are done, I'm going to ask if I'll be a professional Mud Wrestler! Among my other jobs." Lana said.

Dipper looked at his brother excitedly and said," We're finally gonna get the answer to the greatest mystery in Gravity Falls!"

"This is going to be awesome!" Lincoln said with equal enthusiasm.

Mabel, who was absent for most of the video appeared. "Nifty! A mailbox! I've been wanting to mail Mom this video of my sticking 100 gummy worms up my nose!" She then placed the package inside.

"No, wait!" Both brother exclaimed.

"Slam!" Mabel said as she slammed the mailbox shut.

The flag raised and Lincoln took the letter out."

"What does it say, bro?" Luna asked.

"'Your gummy worm video has disturbed and insulted me. You fools are unworthy of my great knowledge. The era of human enlightenment shall never come to pass'" Lincoln read.

"Uh, what does that mean?" Lynn asked.

Lisa readjusted her glasses and said," My bifocals maybe playing illusions on me. Or is the mailbox glowing?"

Everyone looked at it and the mailbox was indeed shaking, and making a sound that soon intensified.

"HIT THE DECK!" Lori called.

Everyone ran away screaming and the mailbox then imploded in a burst of light. The video went to static for a moment, but it soon cleared. Everyone was then shown to be standing in the middle of the scorched clearing. They all looked disheveled, slightly shell-shocked and with some of their clothes torn, but nothing too revealing.

"What literally just happened?" Lori asked in a dazed, stunned tone.

"Wow, now that sure did implode on us. Get it. Hehe… ugh." Luan tried to joke, and fell down in a heap.

"Well, uh that concludes Dipper and Lincoln's Guide to the Unexplained." Dipper said, stunned.

Lincoln continued by saying, "Yes, and also an important note. We learned that when dealing with the unknown." He then glared at Leia and yelled," DO NOT MAIL VIDEOS OF YOU SHOVING GUMMY WORMS UP YOUR NOSE!"

"Yeah! Like, that's disgusting sis!" Leni said grossed out.

"Yeah, Mabel! Have some class!" Lola agreed.

"Yeah, I need help. I can only stick 50." Lana said, and didn't notice the look her twin was giving her.

Mabel smiled, ignoring the anger from her siblings and said," There's more where that came from!" She pulled out a gummy worm. "Into my nose! INTO MY NOSE!

"Cut the camera!" Lincoln yelled.

"NO! SHOW'S OVER! SHOW'S OVER!" Dipper said as he covered the lens and the video stopped.