Chap 13: The Order

"Potter!" a deep husky voice yelled, followed by the loud banging of the door, "Open the door!"

Harry had unknowingly fallen asleep but now was awoken by the loud banging of the door. Looking at his watch, he realised that it was only 5 am in the morning, he knew that there would be people sent to fetch them to another location, but this early? What if this was someone else instead?

Sensing potential danger, Harry grabbed his wand and opened the door, pointing it at the person at the entrance.

Correction, people. At the entrance, there were 9 wizards and witches, all carrying brooms. However, the one standing right in front of him also had his wand pointed straight at Harry's face. That was Mad-eye Moody.

"Are you Harry Potter?" He grunted, "Remus, ask him something, we can't afford to bring back a death eater by accident."

"Harry, what form does your patronus take?" A person behind asked, one that Harry immediately recognised as Remus Lupin.

"A Stag."

"That's him," Lupin said confidently.

"Good, are we going to just stand here blocking the hallway or are you going to invite us in." Moody growled, "Why are you pointing your wand at us anyway."

"Did not know who you were, could have been someone trying to attack." Harry shrugged, moving aside to allow them to enter the room.

"Hmph, at least someone stays vigilant."

"That's what you taught me last year, constant vigilance," Harry commented, before realising that the real Moody didn't even teach him.

"Bah, I did not even teach you, though I have to admit that Crouch taught you something important then," Moody commented, before settling into the room.

At this moment, Cho appeared, wand out as well.

"Zhu? What is-" She paused as she looked around the room, "Who are these people? Professor Moody?"

"Forgive me if I don't recognise you," Moody growled, "I did not even teach you, you may lower your wand as well."

"Oh! Yes sorry, thought you were intruders." Cho said, before lowering her wand.

"Looks like Crouch really taught you students well," Moody muttered, making Harry laugh.

"Professor Lupin?" Cho said excitedly, spotting Lupin at the back

"Yes, good to see you again Ms Chang," Lupin said with a wide smile on his face. "But it's just Lupin now."

"I would assume you are all here to transport us to a location? What's with the brooms though?" Harry asked.

"We will be flying to the location," Lupin said.

"Flying? Can't we take the Floo Network or a Portkey?"

"The Floo Network is being watched by the Ministry and creating a Portkey creates more trouble than it's worth." Moody said, "Lupin said that you were a good flyer."

"He is fantastic." Lupin corrected, bringing a smile to Harry's face.

"And Thomas said that you are a good flyer too," Moody asked, looking at Cho who nodded her head.

"Well, then it's settled," Moody said, satisfied.

"Why did you bring so many people though?" Harry asked, glancing around the room, "Who are you guys anyways."

"Harry, you are a high-value person nowadays if you hadn't realised," Lupin said, before introducing everyone in the room to him. The only other person he recognised was Kingsley and Elphias Doge who he had both met before.

"We should be heading out soon before people start waking up," Moody grunted.

"Nobody's waking up this early," a witch named Tonks yawned, "Come on, let me pack up both of your stuff."

After packing up both Harry's and Cho's trunks, Cho was given her Firebolt from Kingsley who had gone to retrieve it from her house earlier. Harry on the other hand had just received the official Nimbus Lightning 1 during the meeting with Wood.

"Wow, you both have some crazy brooms." Tonks said, watching Harry take out his brand new broom in awe, "I only fly a Comet while you have a broom that isn't even released to the public yet."

"Well, it's the perk of being famous I guess, I would not have gotten the sponsorship if I wasn't Harry Potter," Harry said honestly, believing that the reason why Nimbus approached him was due to his name rather than his skills.

After everyone got out of the Leaky Cauldron, they stood in Diagon Alley, which was for once completely empty, before kicking off and flying to the location.

The flight was probably the strangest thing that he had ever done, to a certain extent it was fun and relaxing, being able to fly so freely over the landscape of London, on the other hand, he was freezing and his entire body felt numb from the cold. Thankfully the trip was relatively short and they soon landed in the middle of a random area which looked nothing magical.

"Here, take this, quickly read and memorise it then pass it to Chang," Moody said after putting out the lights in the area using a device he borrowed from Dumbledore.

The piece of paper read, 'The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number 12 Grimmauld Place, London.'

"What is-" Harry said after passing the slip of paper to Cho

"Not here boy!" Moody snarled, then proceeded to set the paper on fire.

"Concentrate on what you have just read," Lupin whispered to him.

As Harry concentrated on the address that he just read, a small door appeared in the middle of the 11th and 13th building, with the door expanding out and becoming a large house.

"Get inside," Moody growled, which Harry and Cho did, still very confused and awestruck at what happened.

Upon stepping inside the building, Harry was greeted by Mrs Weasley, who looked ecstatic to see Harry once again, running towards him and giving him a bear hug.

"Oh Harry, it's been too long." She said as she ruffled Harry's hair.

"It's good to see you too, Cho." She said, smiling at Cho but without as much warmth, Cho however, just replied with a polite smile.

"Hermione and Ron are still asleep, it's very early after all. Do any of you want breakfast? Perhaps some toast?" She asked the group, most of which decided against it and left. Among those who stayed were Lupin and Tonks. Bringing them to the kitchen, Mrs Weasley soon left to prepare the breakfast, providing Harry with the perfect opportunity to interrogate Lupin and Tonks.

"So what on earth is the Order of the Phoenix?" Harry asked.

"It's the organisation Dumbledore founded after you said You-Know-Who came back" Lupin replied

"Organisation? So you are fighting Voldemort and their supporters?" Harry asked, ignoring the flinching of the others when he said the name.

"I can't divulge much about the operation because you are not in the Order, but yes, we are."

"What? Why am I not inside?" Harry protested.

"Because you are 15 and underage, this organisation is only for adults."

"I was the one who fought him back in June," Harry said, becoming more and more annoyed, feeling his pent-up anger through the holiday resurfacing.

"You did, but it doesn't change the fact that you aren't an adult, trust me Harry, there is no debate about this."

"This is bullshit." Harry cursed.

"Harry," Lupin sighed, "If you want to protest to anyone about this, you should do it to Dumbledore. And before you try with Dumbledore, try to get Molly's approval first, that's probably harder."

Harry was on the verge of exploding into a fiery rant about how he had not been told anything all summer and essentially cut off from the wizarding world till Cho placed her hand on his thigh.

"So this is the headquarters right?" Cho asked Lupin.

"That's correct."

"The magic just now, the place showing up after you gave us the slip of paper, that's the Fidelius Charm right?"

"Spot on Cho," Lupin said, seemingly impressed with her knowledge, "It was placed on this building after it became the headquarters, to keep away unwanted people."

"And Dumbledore is the secret keeper right? It was his handwriting on the slip of paper which told us the address." Cho asked.

"Once again, spot on," Lupin said, smiling brightly at her as if he was going to give Ravenclaw points for her answering a question.

"Why this place though, looks pretty damn run down," Harry said.

"That would be because of me." said someone at the door. Harry turned and to his delight, his godfather was standing there.

"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed, getting up to hug him.

"Harry, been a while hasn't it," Sirius said, smiling brightly at his godson.

"Good to see you too, Cho." He then said, diverting his attention to Cho, leaving Harry slightly confused because Harry hadn't introduced them to each other yet.

"To answer your question Harry, this was my childhood home, which was left to me after my mother passed, hence its run-down nature," Sirius said with contempt in his voice.

At this moment, Mrs Weasley returned with plates of toast which Harry gobbled down as he hadn't had breakfast yet.

"So about this Order," Harry said to the table, "Who's inside?"

"You told him about the Order?" said a rather annoyed Mrs Weasley.

"I didn't tell him much Molly, he knows as much as your children," Lupin said calmly, ignoring the glare that she was giving him

"I deserve to know more," Harry muttered before taking another bite of his toast.

"You are underaged, you should not be related to this Order at all." Mrs Weasley said firmly

"I should!" Harry said adamantly, raising his voice.

"You are still in school, this is an adult thing." Mrs Weasley said, anger flaring up just a little, leading to a back-and-forth argument between both of them.

"I for one think that Harry should know a little more." Sirius suddenly said, stopping the argument, with Harry looking at him happily while Mrs Weasley glared daggers at him.

"Look, I understand that he is underage and all, but after all that he had gone through, facing him 3 times, I think he deserves to know just a little more, he is kinda entitled to it, right Remus, Tonks?"

Lupin and Tonks looked as though they really did not want to be dragged into the argument, both giving an innocent look till Lupin finally relented due to the glares from both parties.

"Sirius has a point." Lupin sighed, "He should be let in on more information about the Order, after all that he went through in June it's only right."

"But-" Mrs Weasley countered before being interrupted.

"Look, Molly, we can discuss this later, after the Order meeting, we can decide with the other Order members," Lupin said, giving Mrs Weasley a pleading look, which Mrs Weasley reluctantly agreed to.

"Other members are coming?" Harry asked.

"Yes, we have meetings around once per week," Sirius confirmed.

"Who are they? Anyone I know?" Harry asked.

"Obviously all 4 of us here are inside, Arthur, Bill and Charlie are as well, but Charlie is off in Romania on an assignment, the whole guard just now is inside, Snape, Thomas and Dumbledore who runs the entire operation," Sirius said.

"Wait, my father is inside?" Cho asked curiously after keeping silent during the entire conversation previously.

"Yes, so is your mom but she isn't active, Arthur and Kingsley recruited him around June or July under Dumbledore's instruction," Lupin said.

"Dumbledore's instruction," Cho said, deep in thought, "But why my father specifically?"

"Thomas is rather close to Arthur while Moody was his mentor and Kingsley a close associate. Dumbledore probably figured that someone with his skillset could be a valuable inclusion into the order and his loyalty was already assured by them 3. Adding to that you are Harry's girlfriend, probably felt that he could help to protect you 2."

"Will he be coming later?" Cho asked excitedly.

"Yes. He is currently busy at the Ministry, probably causing one hell of a ruckus that dementors attacked you 2." Lupin said, "Also Harry, your case is probably getting dropped, Thomas is a high-ranking Auror, something like 3rd in command, with him as an eye-witness, the case will probably be about the Ministry and why were there even dementors in the middle of London."

Upon hearing this, Harry felt considerably more relieved, knowing that he wasn't getting expelled meant a lot.

"Well, it's about time that I leave, thanks for the meal Molly," Lupin said, getting up and bidding everyone goodbye before making his leave.

"I should probably get to work soon too," Tonks said, hugging Mrs Weasley before exiting the building together with Lupin.

"Well, it's been quite a morning for you 2 hasn't it," Sirius said after Mrs Weasley left the table to prepare meals for the others still sleeping.

"Yeah, waking up to 9 people knocking on your door at 5 am isn't exactly fun," Harry muttered, making both Sirius and Cho laugh. "I even had my wand pointed at the door when I opened it."

"What did Mad-eye say about that" Sirius asked curiously

"Praised the death eater who impersonated him last year for teaching us well." Harry smiled.

"Mad-eye praising someone? A rare sight indeed." Sirius said, bringing more laughter to the table.

"How was the summer?" Sirius asked, specifically looking at Harry.

Harry knew that this was coming, everybody wanted to talk to Harry about how he was feeling and coping with Cedric's death, everybody wanted to. The truth was he wasn't dealing with it really well. The first week alone with the Dursleys were the worst, nightmares daily and he was in a constant state of grief. It slowly improved throughout the holidays but it was clearly still there. He still gets nightmares once every 3 days, some days he would wake up in the middle of the night and find himself hyperventilating, unable to calm himself down. Others can't even get that far, staying awake throughout the night. It wasn't even survivor's guilt, no. He felt responsible for the death, he felt guilty for Cedric's death, he felt guilty that he had asked Cedric to take the cup with him, he felt guilty that the whole tournament was rigged because Voldemort wanted him. He felt guilty for being the reason that Cedric was killed, Cedric was just an innocent bystander, the one that was not meant to be there, the spare.

Kill the spare, the words that still haunt him every time he had a nightmare, every time that the tournament was mentioned. Even more than this, he felt fear, pure fear at the return of Voldemort, Harry was too weak to fight him, but he would just keep coming. That was already the 3rd time he met him, the first he was protected by ancient magic, the second he was saved by a Phoenix and the third, he was saved by his fucking wand, by a fucking miracle that his wand had the same feather as Voldemort's. He had been lucky the entire time and that luck would eventually run out. The first 2 times there weren't any casualties, the only one was Quirell who was the enemy, Ginny thankfully got out unscathed. But this time, Cedric is dead, a friend of his but one he wasn't close to. What if the next was someone he truly cared for, Ron, Hermione or Cho…

He had not told anyone this, other than Cho. During his stay with her, Cho quickly realised that he was suffering from nightmares, that he was waking up in the middle of the night hyperventilating.

"Harry, Harry!" Cho said, shaking him vigorously.

It was another nightmare, the same old one, seeing Cedric's dead boy over and over again, hearing Amos Diggory's cries in his nightmares.

"Wha- What-" Harry said, waking him shocked.

"Are you ok?" Cho asked, looking at him, eyes full of worry.

"Huh, yes. Why?" Harry said, trying to put up a brave face, something that he had always done after the 3rd task.

"You were talking in your sleep, saying… saying things," Cho said, face darkening.

"Oh! Really?" Harry said, acting shocked, "It's nothing, just a random nightmare."

"Random nightmare?" Cho said, eyes still connected to his as if the eyes were piercing into his soul.

"Yes, there's nothing to worry about Cho, go back to sleep, it's still very early," Harry said.

"Harry, stop fucking lying to me!" Cho said, her expression now changing to a more annoyed and angry one.

"What! I'm not." Harry protested, voice raising.

"I'm not stupid Harry, the last 4 days you have been like this, you are either struggling to sleep, waking up in the middle of the night hyperventilating or tossing around in your bed violently, muttering…" Cho said, now choking a little as her eyes began to turn misty. "Muttering not Cedric."

Harry's world dropped when she said the line, the gig was up. There was no hiding from Cho anymore, she knew exactly what he was facing. Taking a deep breath, he said

"It's alright Cho, just nightmares," trying to comfort her.

"Stop fucking lying to me Harry!" Cho said, clearly pissed now, "I said that I will be here whenever you need help."

"Then I don't need help," Harry snapped back.

"You fucking do!" Cho said, getting closer and closer to crying.

Cho took a deep breath, wiping the tears from her eyes, and said

"Harry, seeing you hurt hurts me more than you know. We promised to each other before, regardless of whatever happens, we will talk to each other when we can't handle it ourselves anymore, let me help you. Please."

Harry did not say anything, all he could do was look at Cho's face, he could see the pain in her eyes and the pleading look. He did not want to talk about what he was feeling, or what he was dealing with. He did not have it in him to surface those pains.

But Cho deserves something, he thought, after all that she had done for us, she deserves something…

Sighing, he made up his mind.

"I'm struggling with Cedric." He muttered.

"What are you feeling?" Cho said, now sitting beside him, her hand holding his.

"Everything, every fucking thing, feeling like a failure, feeling afraid, feeling fucking guilty. Everything." Harry choked, tears now flowing down his cheek.

Cho's hand held his even tighter but she said nothing, allowing Harry to continue.

"Every single time I go to sleep, I see him all over again, I see his body, I see his father crying, I hear the screams, I hear the cries," Harry said, struggling to get the words out of his mouth.

"I want to do something, I want to fucking kill Voldemort, I want to kill him before anyone else gets harmed." He said, tears dripping down his cheeks, as Cho embraced him.

"I don't know what to fucking do," Harry said, defeated.

"Zhu," Cho said softly, who seemed like she was trying not to cry as she wiped Harry's tears off his face, "You don't have to take the burden of killing Voldemort on yourself, we are all here for you."

"It's me that he comes for, it's always fucking me. Every time he does that someone ends up as collateral, just like Cedric did." Harry said, voice hoarse. "Every fucking time I barely survive, people see me as a hero, call me the boy who lived as if that means anything, others just fucking pity me, saying how tough my life has been as if they know. Then whenever something shit happens, they all turn on me and call me attention seeking, they see having a stupid scar on your forehead as a fucking privilege, they see being Harry Potter as a fucking blessing, I don't want to be Harry Potter, I want to just be a normal kid dealing with normal fucking problems, not fighting Voldemort."

Harry didn't know where all these pent-up frustrations, anger and hatred came from, he had always dealt with this by just living with it, getting annoyed when it got bad. He never thought about them too much, but everything was coming out today, emotions that even he did not know he had.

"I understand Zhu," Cho said, arm now around Harry's shoulder, allowing him to lean onto her.

"I understand how much you want to be normal, I know how much you hate being the Harry Potter, I know. I would fucking love it if you just changed your name and we ran away, fuck Voldemort, fuck the death eaters, fuck the Ministry." She paused, breathing in deeply, " But you would never do that, you are not the Harry Potter because you get thrown into all this fucking mess and you fight your way out, you are the Harry Potter because no matter what they throw at you, you get up again and find a way to keep going. That's why you will defeat Voldemort, that's why I know that we will be able to live normal lives eventually, that's why I love you Zhu."

"The question is not about whether you would continue fighting him, continue being strong. You would and I know it, tomorrow morning you would walk out of this room as if nothing had happened and continue your life." She continued, "The question now is whether you want to do it alone or share the burden with someone, with me."

Harry looked into her eyes, her eyes were watery but full of conviction, confident in what she said earlier. Confident that she would respect his choice regardless of what she thinks.

"I will always be here Harry, whenever you need someone to talk to, someone to cry on, I will be here, and I know you would do the same for me. You don't have to worry about me running away in fear because I would do anything to be with you Harry, anything." Cho continued, her hand mindlessly tracing Harry's scar.

"What do you want Harry." She asked firmly.

That night still burns brightly in his memory, like a fire that hasn't been put out yet. The nightmares were still there, he still woke up afraid, hyperventilating. He very much still struggled mentally, just that this time, Cho was always there, comforting him. He did not need to tell her anything more, nothing about his insecurities and pain, they were all said during that night.

He glanced at Cho who was looking at him very intently, as if waiting for his response.

"It's been alright." Harry lied, one that Sirius did not seem convinced of.

"Anyways, how has your summer been?" Harry asked, trying to change the subject.

"Dreadful," Sirius said in an almost bored way, "I'm just stuck in this house while the other Order members are going around doing useful things."

"Well you don't really have a choice do you, you are still a wanted fugitive," Harry said.

"Yes, but doesn't change the fact that I'm fucking bored, thankfully the influx of people has made life more interesting." He added.

Just as he said that, Harry could hear someone run down the stairs, no, not one, many. At the doorway appeared Ron, Hermione, Ginny and the twins.

"Harry! Cho!" Ron and Hermione exclaimed, before running over to him to give him a hug, before doing the same for Cho.

"Been a while hasn't it," Ron commented after the pleasantries were finished.

"Says the person who hasn't been replying to me," Harry muttered, immediately changing the looks of Hermione and Ron's faces from elated to guilty.

"Dumbledore made us swear to not tell you anything," Hermione said timidly.

Harry stared at them blankly, confused at what they had just said, Dumbledore made them swear to keep Harry in the dark, what the fuck. He turned to Sirius to ask for a confirmation to which he just nodded.

"What, why?" Harry questioned, completely confused.

"We don't know, he just made us swear-" Hermione said, before getting cut off.

"To keep me in the dark after last year, yes yes I know." He said, now glaring at both of them, close to exploding in anger again, annoyed at the revelation

"Urm, Harry, we should probably go and put our trunks into our room," Cho interrupted, sensing Harry's impending outburst, "Hermione, Ron, can you show us the way?"

"O - Oh! Yes!" Hermione said worriedly, eyes still glued on Harry.

Harry's attention however turned to Cho, who gave him the 'drop it' look.

Harry shrugged in agreement before carrying his trunk to his new room, it was going to be an interesting end to the holidays.