In a dorm room of SCEPTER 4, Ren held up the wooden doll he just pulled out of the box delivered to him last night. The officer was currently showing it off to Akira, his roommate.
"The figurine I ordered from Hawaii finally arrived! Isn't it so cute?"
Akira faked a trembling smile. "Yeah, so cute. It totally won't keep me up at night." His eyes quickly flicked to Ren's other, ahem, "souvenirs". He swears their eyes follow him no matter where he is in the room. So many sleepless nights caused by them. Even when he tried telling Ren about it, the guy laughed it off and said it was all in his imagination.
"I'm glad you like it. I have to show it to the others!"
"Y'know that Mr. Fushimi'll just kill your mood? Prepare for that."
"Well, not everyone has to see it."
"I wonder how you feel letting a human beat you up." Kuroh said as he ran into Caster in the hallway as she exited her room. She looked like she had been dragged through Hell.
Caster didn't reply with words. She simply shoved Kuroh back through the outside wall into the koi pond. Then she spoke. "If you want to live, you won't bring that up again. Now, hurry up and fix breakfast!"
"So you can watch how I do it?" He got up, trying to wring out his clothes and hair. That's when he discovered one of the koi somehow got in his kimono. "On our way, you'd better come up with a good excuse to give to Master Ichigen as to why I'm all wet." No way is he going to tell the truth, out of fear of what Caster'll do to him.
"Won't that be your job?"
"You were the one who pushed me!" A magic circle materialized in the air next to the woman. "Okay, okay! I'll come up with the excuse!"
"I still can't believe you lost!" Sukuna exclaimed to Assassin. "And that easily, too! And we found out the Blue King's still alive! I thought you Servants are supposed to be super powerful!"
"I'm an Assassin and I really don't like fighting that man..." Assassin grumbled.
"Why? Scared?" Sukuna asked in a teasing way.
"Of course not, Lord Sukuna. I am a Hassan and a Hassan is fearless!"
"Look, it's the Old Man of the Mountain!"
Assassin instantly went rigid. "G-Great Founder..! I apologize for my loss! You see..!" Then he looked back. "Never do that again!"
"Man, I swear you were this close to wetting yourself!"
Assassin faced forward again, shoulders now slumped in exhaution. "Do not plan to make me into a tool for your amusement. I'm sure Lord Tenkei won't take kindly to that."
"What's wrong with me pointing out a fact?"
"Let me be clear: I don't wish to fight Lancer because of his Protection From Arrows. It isn't that I'm afraid of him! I'm also an Assassin! We do better with stealthy attacks instead of straight-up combat!"
"That just sounds like an excuse," Saber put in. She had been in the room for the whole conversation. "All Servants should be tools of destruction, not just me anymore."
"Lady Altera, it is completely impossible for me to beat him! My only option is for Zabaniya [Disillusional Heartbeat] to hit him!"
"Then you should use that."
"He's too fast and my Noble Phantasm's too slow in comparison! And using the arm strains me each time! I need to launch it at him before he senses me or after I somehow get him into an inescapable position!"
"That last idea might be easier to pull off than you think...I'll have to tell your Master and my Master about it."
Zouken was starting to get hungry, so he entered a Chinese restaurant. Sitting at a table near the entrance and eating a large plate of mapo tofu so spicy it's practically sizzling...
This guy...
...was a man in a church outfit. Kirei Kotomine. He maintained his stoic expression even though the food made him sweat heavily. He looked up, brown eyes meeting red.
"Why don't you take a seat?"
Zouken didn't move. This has to be a trap. He could set up a bounded field so people won't see him stick me with like a dozen Black Keys. He didn't notice the faint churring sound of his insects within his body, ready to heed their master's call against this threat.
"And why should I?"
"I want to talk is all. I have no intention of causing a scene here. I trust you won't either if you don't have to."
Zouken was still hesitant but could sense no killing intent from the Executioner. Then he took a deep breath and sat across the table from him. "Fine. What then?"
"I'm glad you're beyond a ghoul. That makes it much easier to converse." A waitress walked over to their table and set down another plate of mapo tofu, removing the one Kirei just finished. Zouken flinched. This human's crazier than Nagato!
Kirei noticed the Dead Apostle staring at the food. "Want to try some?"
"Not going to happen. Now what did you want to say to me?"
Kirei shrugged and used his spoon to scoop some of the food into his mouth, not caring that he was now sweating like a pig. "I wanted to give you a warning. I'm being civil to you today, even though I really shouldn't, because I'm in a good mood. But I'll give you a warning to leave Tokyo immediately. If we meet again, I'll be looking to kill you."
Red eyes narrowed. "You don't give me orders, human!"
"And yet this human can kill you oh so quickly."
Zouken was about to say something else when there was a tapping on the window. It was a crow hitting the glass with its beak. So she sent a familiar to tell me to return?
Kirei smirked. "It seems someone wants you. I suppose this ends our conversation. Just remember that I'll aim to kill you if we meet again."
"Same to you."
Izumo just got finished pouring bourbon for Mikoto when his encrypted phone went off. Izumo picked it up, and was done after almost a minute.
"Informant reportin'?" the redhead guessed.
"Yead. He told me the Blue King almost died last night. He's currently in a vulnerable position."
"How'd he get that pompous ass of his kicked?"
"He wasn't able to see it all. All he knows is that it was a Grail War fight." Once he said that, Mikoto had an unreadable expression.
When the Usagi entered the bookstore, he found Archer with his face buried in a Jump magazine.
"There you are!"
Archer abruptly pulled his face back and slammed the magazine shut. "As I thought, this is filled with nothing but mongrel trash. I have no idea why Kenji recommended I read it." So it was a suggestion from one of the kids he befriended. Well, he'll deny that part, saying Enkidu's his only friend.
"The Gold King wishes to see you back at the Tower." He purposefully avoided saying "His Eminence". The last Usagi to do that almost got impaled. "Gold King" seems to be much safer.
"Hmph! Very well! I suppose I'll humor that old fool." He looked back at the bookstand. "There's a boy in there who wants to be King of the Pirates. I guess he doesn't know that's a fake position. I am the world's only king!"
"Of course." Anyone could tell that reply from the Usagi was forced. Archer smirked, ignoring the grumbling from the cashier that "this isn't a library" and to "buy something next time."
Reisi was offered the day off, but he was stubborn enough to refuse. So Seri begrudgingly allowed him to resume some of his simpler tasks with Lancer watching him like a hawk.
"I still can't believe I let such a simple attack get the best of me," Reisi groaned. Now that he's feeling better, he and Lancer are in his office.
"I think I feel worse since I let said attack get past me," Lancer put in.
"I also don't want to have my dog watching my every movement."
As soon as "dog" left Reisi's lips, Lancer's hands balled into fists. "...I'll write that off as your tiredness from last night. But refrain from calling me that again. There's a good chance I'll beat the shit out of you."
When Izumo went up to Anna's room to see what was taking her so long to come down for lunch, he had never laughed as hard as he did when he processed the scene before him. The fearsome Greek warrior, Achilles, who slaughtered countless people in the Trojan War...is now wearing a poofy red dress with shiny red ribbons in his hair. Well, he's probably used to this after Thetis made her son crossdress in Skyros to avoid the war. Anna just looked oblivious as to what the bartender's busting a gut over.
"Mind telling me what's so funny?" Rider asked with his hands on his hips and amber eyes narrowed. But instead of feeling threatened, the sight made Izumo laugh so hard he stopped breathing.
Seri allowed Lancer to take a break from watching his Master to go do what he wants. Ryuuhou started checking in on Reisi every few minutes while the Servant was in the city.
Reisi's PDA went off while the man was looking over some documents. It barely got to the fourth ring before he saw the caller ID and answered.
"What is it, Suoh?"
"Woah, that's a cold way to greet someone!"
"In case you forgot, this time is during work and you're an enemy Master in this War."
"Look, I just wanted to ask if you'll come see me tonight at 8 at the Shizume cargo pier in front of warehouse 3." His voice was slightly strained.
"...It'll be practically abandoned at that time. Perfect for murdering someone."
"Who said anythin' about murder?! I wouldn't have had to make it at that time if you guys didn't work so late! 'Sides, what's wrong with visitin' the place where we first fooled around?"
"I still can't believe I let you talk me into that location. It truly baffled me that you wouldn't let me get us a motel room. You said it would make it more likely for us to get caught. We almost did at the cargo pier despite your certainty it was safe."
"I keep tellin' ya I didn't know one of my boys would patrol it then! We hid in time, didn't we?!"
Reisi chuckled. "That actually got you to listen to my idea."
"I know. So, ya meetin' me there?"
Reisi didn't miss the way Mikoto's voice sounded off. "I will. And so will Lancer."
"I toldja I'm not intendin' to kill ya. No need for your Servant to tag along."
"Suoh, the fact you're bad at lying hasn't changed."
"...Fine. Rider and I will also be there. Both of ya need to come alone. Or I'll have all my Clansmen attack your base."
Violet eyes narrowed and there was an audible gnashing of teeth. "Don't you dare hold my Clansmen hostage!"
"That should be incentive enough for you to do what I say."
"My Clansmen aren't that weak. They can take on all of HOMRA any day!"
"Maybe. But how many will lose their lives?"
"Are you really okay with risking the lives of your men?!"
"...Not for somethin' related to the Grail War. But maybe you two should show up alone before I'm suddenly more confident in their survival ability." The phone hung up and Reisi almost crushed his in frustration. That man is unbelievable! Making ultimatums like that is completely unlike him! He knows the War is liable to make people act out of character but this is ridiculous! Knowing how much Mikoto cares about his Clansmen, he has to be bluffing. Nevertheless, Reisi will still meet his challenge.
Neko was sitting on Berserker's lap in the living room, both watching Disney's Hercules with Japanese audio.
"The amount of mythological inaccuracies isn't bothering you, Berserker?" Adolf asked, looking up at the two. He was busy grading papers at his desk.
'No. I just see it as a cute story and anyway, Neko is enjoying it.' Even though his Mad Enhancement keeps him from speaking normally, he can still telepathically talk to Adolf as long as he isn't fighting.
"Can you stop talking so loud, Addie?!" Neko irritability broke in. "I'm missing what Hades is saying!"
"You do know there's a rewind button, right?"
Lancer was out on the pier, giving Rider more fishing lessons. Then something happened. Lancer got a little too close to Rider's face then the other man grabbed the spearman and kissed him. And this wasn't a gentle one either. He was pressing hard while biting and sucking at Lancer's lips. In response, Lancer's thigh pressed between the other Servant's legs, hands fumbling at the other's shirt.
A sudden telepathic shout ripped into Lancer's head. 'What are you doing?!' It was Reisi.
'Are ya spyin' through me?'
'You two are enemies. Don't you think this is wrong? And in public too?!'
'Hypocrite. What 'bout you 'n the Red King?'
'That's different! Complete opposites like us will never fell in love! We still hate each other. Anyway, your break's almost done.'
Lancer grumbled something under his breath and broke away from Rider. "Sorry, I hafta go."
"Already?"
"My Master needs me back. We'll continue another time." As he left the pier and headed back to HQ, he spoke telepathically to his Master again. 'Y'know, just 'cause someone's an enemy doesn't mean ya hafta hate 'em.'
'I don't think there's anyone you actually hate. Just ones that annoy you to no end.'
'Ya got that right.'
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Reisi knew cockblocking his Servant was pretty mean, but he didn't want to run the risk of his most powerful weapon getting attached to the enemy's most powerful weapon, especially with what'll happen tonight. But maybe those two would just end up as fuck buddies. Like him and Mikoto.
Yeah, that's all we are. There's nothing else, there's nothing else, there's nothing else...