"Are you okay? You... didn't get anything correct," Kaneki pointed out as they left the library, looking ahead, keeping his tone carefully free of judgement.
Hide gave him a side glance and Kaneki busied himself with fitting a new, borrowed copy of the textbook Nishiki had destroyed in his bag.
It was the closest Kaneki would get to outright asking him why he was struggling, because as far as Hide could tell, Nagachika had always breezed through period-literature classes without much trouble. At the same time, Kaneki had agreed not to hold him to the past, and so would be Kaneki about it.
Hide watched him wedge the textbook in between notebooks as they walked, still not looking up.
Kaneki only had to pay a small fine, which Hide had chipped in on. He was sure the staff had pitied him.
They'd been way too familiar with him and had been baffled when he showed them the most intact pieces of the textbook he'd managed to scrape up from that day, fully eating up his story about being attacked by a wild dog.
There was no way quiet, studious Ken would let something like that happen if it had been in his control, right?
Hide almost snorted at the thought, spotted a vending machine, and steered them towards it.
"Want something?" Hide asked, pretending to look over the options while he watched Kaneki in the reflective surface, who was eyeing him.
They both knew he was avoiding the question.
"I'll pay," he offered.
Kaneki sighed soundlessly but stepped up next to him, leaning foam and sadly eyeing the different instant coffee brands on the bottom row. "I've been drinking too much coffee lately. I think you ruined my taste buds."
"You're a hero of the people," Hide responded, hands behind his head. It made his sleeves ride up, showing off the bandages wrapped around his wrists, up to his shoulders. "They should be grateful you've been my test subject. I'm not inflicting that on them anymore, and I think I make pretty decent coffee now."
Nagachika's manipulation of the people around him made him feel like he wasn't doing enough. Other than mentioning that he'd been in an accident, or occasionally telling people he was still hurt, he didn't look like someone who'd nearly died.
He had the scars from it but they didn't mean much when he should've barely been on his feet.
He couldn't go back in time and give himself a limp, so this was the next best thing.
Maybe it was paranoia, thinking the CCG would talk to the committee about him, or just people who saw him around campus, when they inevitably looked into old man Kano.
Maybe it was wishful thinking, hoping anyone would see his bandages and think it was memorable enough to mention if questioned about him.
And maybe he should stop playing human and disappear while he was still an unknown. What was the point of any of this if anything he did would stop counting as an achievement the second he was outed as a ghoul?
Being a ghoul sucked.
Kaneki waved a hand at him to get his attention, frowning, and Hide realized that he'd been talking.
"It wasn't that bad in the first place," Kaneki repeated, not missing a beat as he went back to studying the options and Hide felt grateful for it.
"I have change," Kaneki said, rooting around in his pockets. "You don't need to—"
Hide stepped up to the machine and fed it change before he finished. He leaned on the coin slot so he couldn't get to it and crossed his arms, blinking back at Kaneki's stare.
Kaneki shook his head at him, but eventually gave up and pushed the buttons for a water.
Hide only moved enough to insert another coin.
As Kaneki lowered himself to grab it, Hide focused on his reflection. "I didn't want to worry you, and wanted to give it some time, but there are some holes in my memory. Have been ever since the accident. Usually, reading something I've read before or doing something I did before brings it back, but with everything about literature class... it's like everything's gone."
Kaneki froze, his gaze jerking up, and Hide suddenly couldn't make himself look down.
Kaneki was the only one Hide started to feel guilty about outright lying to, the only one he couldn't bring himself to look in the eyes while he did.
Hide looked at Nagachika in the tiny slit of the reflection next to a digital ad for drinks, sitting on a bench behind them and people watching. He looked deep in thought, and he looked like he had when he'd gotten a job at the CCG.
Longer hair, wearing more formal clothes.
He remembered what Nagachika said about his appearance reflecting how he was feeling, and then tore his gaze away, fully focusing back on the machine.
Hide picked a cola at random. They'd all taste like ash mixed with water, and they'd all be thrown back up the same.
"If I told our teacher, he'd have me removed for sure," Hide said, hoping the silence wasn't too long as he put in coins.
Kaneki straightened, opened the water, and took a long drink before he said, neutrally, "I would've helped you if you told me."
Hide moved down to grab the cola that rattled down and said back, "I'm good, seriously. I just wanted you to know—"
Kaneki was abruptly closer when he stood back up, forcing him to make eye contact. "Look me in the eyes when you say you're good and I'll believe you," he said stubbornly.
Hide couldn't. He wondered if he'd really been that obvious. Kaneki had believed the most important part, so what about the rest had felt like a lie?
"I'm helping you," Kaneki decided when he stayed silent, moving around him without giving him another chance to protest, expecting he'd follow.
Hide didn't. He felt suddenly terrible. His thoughts about the CCG had been a real mood killer, but how—
"How the hell can you tell how I'm feeling, huh?" Hide asked, ducking into the shadow of the vending machine and facing the wall as he covered his eyes with his hand.
Kaneki couldn't know about old man Kano's lab, or about Aogiri, or about how Hide didn't know how he was going to handle the future when he was barely stumbling his way through the present, but Kaneki had still seen something in his eyes, even if he thought it was about something else.
Hide didn't get it.
"Because you suck at this," Kaneki said easily, standing in front of him with his back to him, helping to hide him from view.
Hide only leaned his forehead on his arm and tried not to laugh.
.
.
.
Hide choked on the putrid soda and did an accidental spit-take when his roaming eyes found Suzuya standing underneath an awning in front of a bulletin board and tracing a finger over the faces of missing-person posters.
Sitting across from him, Kaneki hurried to pull his textbook up and away from the spray and gave him a disgusted look.
Hide quickly put the can down as he stared at the investigator, glad to have an excuse not to finish it.
"Suzuya?" he called out without thinking, feeling like he was dreaming the whole thing, but became aware of the sudden attention on him.
Now that he was properly looking, he saw how much Suzuya stood out.
No one neared Suzuya as they walked by, and study group of girls at another table were staring between him, Kaneki, and Suzuya and whispering to each other behind their hands.
Hide's gaze snapped to an older professor standing on the grass and watching Suzuya disapprovingly, and he could hear the cashier's voice in his head.
Clown, he'd called Suzuya, which he realized really meant delinquent.
To them, Suzuya looked like someone here to cause trouble, but he hadn't done anything, so they could only judge him from afar until he did.
"Hide?" Kaneki asked quietly, unsure, but still closed his textbook.
Suzuya paused in the middle of pulling on a thread in his lip as he and Hide locked eyes. Suzuya had the same look as that night, like he was about to dislocate someone's arm and claim he was doing it for a good reason.
Suzuya had seen and heard everything, but he hadn't left campus, and he hadn't retaliated.
The study group quickly turned back to their books, nervously focusing back on quizzing each other.
And Hide wondered...
"Do you know him?" Kaneki asked tentatively, looking over Suzuya.
...had Suzuya been enduring this, looking for him?
That couldn't be it, right?
Hide shoved the small book of headache-inducing haikus in his backpack and stood, feeling the professor's stare as he tried to figure out his relationship with Suzuya.
Hide didn't look like a delinquent.
If he really valued his reputation he would've sat back down and turned away from Suzuya. Suzuya was the last person he should interact with, third only to Eto and Arima.
He was the next Arima, and Hide couldn't blame sleep deprivation this time. But Suzuya wasn't that, not yet.
Right then, he was just Suzuya.
̶"̶S̶o̶m̶e̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶I̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶e̶w̶ ̶s̶c̶r̶e̶w̶s̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶s̶e̶,̶"̶ Nagachika said as Hide lifted one leg, then the other over the long seat. He was lying on his back on the empty side of the table like a cat in the sun. ̶"̶I̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶n̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ ̶'̶k̶e̶e̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶e̶n̶e̶m̶i̶e̶s̶ ̶c̶l̶o̶s̶e̶'̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶,̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶?̶"̶
Hide didn't answer as he walked over to Suzuya.
The investigator tracked him like he was prey as Kaneki scrambled up to follow him.
Hide's reason, as insane as it might or might not be, was that he'd liked hanging out with Suzuya. Except at the end, between the cashier and Shinohara, but even that didn't change that Suzuya had chosen to put up with him.
Suzuya could've said no, walked away, and that would've been that.
"What are you doing here, Suzuya?" Hide asked lazily, once he was close enough and under the awning too.
Suzuya still looked at him in that off way, tilting his head with his eyes frozen wide as he asked, tonelessly, "You don't think I belong here?"
"Not what I meant," Hide answered, not even blinking. "I meant here, as in the location. The branch office isn't near here."
Kaneki stopped behind Hide, unsure.
Suzuya let go of his lip thread, eyes flicking to Kaneki.
"That's just Kaneki," Hide introduced. "He's cool, I promise."
"Uh, hi," Kaneki said meekly, only making a small noise of surprise and tensing as Suzuya surged forward and leaned in his face.
"I saw his eyes from all the way over here," Suzuya said in a sing-song voice.
Kaneki swallowed. "Ah..."
Nagachika, strolling up to them, gave Hide a look.
"And I'm telling you he's cool," Hide said back, and it jolted him, just a little, when Suzuya swung around to look at him, like the investigator was considering his opinion.
"Suzuya, you—Is there an investigation going on?" Hide asked as the silence went on.
Hide knew there wasn't, or that professor wouldn't be looking at Suzuya like he was about to set a fire, but the other option didn't make much sense to him.
What kind of an impression could he have left on Suzuya? They'd wandered around, made a mess, ate ramen, and then he'd fallen asleep.
Kaneki took a large step back and bowed suddenly at a 90-degree angle, gluing his hands to his sides. "I'm sorry," he said loudly. "I'm sorry I judged you before I got to know you. Please forgive me."
Suzuya stared at him for a long time, not blinking, but Kaneki didn't rise.
Eventually Suzuya leaned back, saying nothing to him as he spun towards Hide again. "Maybe, maybe not, but small scale stuff is out of my jurisdiction. The Nerima branch is just borrowing me," he finally answered, idly pulling on a thread on his hand. "And I wanted to visit Kamii at least once before I was sent back. I've never seen a real university, but it's so..."
He trailed off, lifting his eyes past Hide to the professor watching them. "...dull."
Hide was content to pretend that didn't leave only one option for just a little longer. "Is it okay that I know you're CCG?"
Kaneki still didn't rise.
"Dunno!" Suzuya said. "If it's not, it's Mr. Shinohara's fault. I didn't tell you a thing!"
"And he... is he your partner?"
"Sure, sure, something like that."
"Does he know you're here?"
"Nope!"
Hide went silent, but eventually asked, "How long have you been here?"
"You're not worried about him showing up?"
"You'll be the one in trouble, not me."
"He doesn't let me have any fun. He made me remember more rules!" Suzuya complained. "But, as for your other question, I dunno! This place is so big, and your school ID doesn't say anything important like where the Foreign Language department is, whatever it is. I walked into the first building I saw, but that wasn't it. I was so bored walking around that I was just about to go home."
Hide blinked a second time.
Kaneki turned his head a little, trying to catch Hide's attention, silently begging for help.
"Suzuya has a sweet tooth," Hide said without looking. "You can make it up to him by draining all your money on candy."
Suzuya didn't look at Kaneki either. "I didn't even get any last time."
Kaneki straightened, nodded, and immediately strode away, looking determined.
Hide watched him and said, "Didn't think I was that memorable."
"You wouldn't get what working in an office like that is like. I'm cooped up all day and when I do go out with Mr. Shinohara he's always telling me, 'we have to set an example to the public, Juuzo', and 'it's dangerous going out alone with things the way they are'. I want to do something interesting. If I have to sit through one more briefing I'll explode."
It meant, probably, that Suzuya was currently ditching a briefing.
Hide processed that. "Does this make us friends, Suzuya?"
"Sure, sure," Suzuya said with too much ease, and Hide knew the word didn't mean anything to him.
He didn't think Suzuya would be very open to having it explained to him though, nor did Hide really want to think about it all that much, so he simply nodded towards the board. "Solve any of those?"
Suzuya looked. "Not me, but people I've met. But you're too normal to talk about it with."
Hide went silent again. He didn't know how to approach the subject of the CCG. 'Normal' people would be curious, right? They'd ask what it was like. But there was a thin line between curiosity and probing for information, and Hide was already walking too many thin lines to step on another one.
Hide turned as Kaneki came back, presenting Suzuya with a handful of colorful candy he must've gotten from a vending machine.
He bowed his head and said, "I really am sorry."
Suzuya immediately scooped the candy up and began stuffing it all into his pockets. He gave Kaneki a big fake smile and patted his head a few times, suddenly extremely friendly as he said, "You're forgiven. I always knew you were a really good guy."
Hide rolled his eyes.
Kaneki took the treatment with only a little tensing. He slowly lifted his head once Suzuya stopped patting him and relaxed a little when Suzuya didn't give him that off look again. The investigator only unwrapped a pink lollipop and stuck it in his mouth, seemingly more content.
Less tense, at least. With them around Suzuya, he stood out less. Even the professor had wandered off.
"Know what? I've had enough of studying. We should go to Big Girl for lunch. It'll be Kaneki's treat," Hide decided.
Kaneki spun towards him, sputtering out a protest, but then his eyes flicked guiltily to Suzuya, who didn't notice as he looked at Kaneki's pockets.
Kaneki sighed a second later, sagging. "Okay, fine."
"That okay with you?" Hide asked Suzuya.
"I don't know what that is," Suzuya said happily around the lollipop.
"Right. Guess it makes sense that you'd only know about the shops and stuff around the branch office," Hide said, turning to leave. "Come on."
.
.
.
Hide leaned an arm over the back of the bench as he sagged into it, determined to ignore the intense nausea that he'd been feeling for the better part of an hour.
Kaneki, next to him, had his head between his knees. "I never realized that... one person could eat so much."
Hide tilted his head back.
Suzuya had been mindful of Kaneki's lack of funds by filling up on enough appetizers to equal a full meal. He'd wanted to try as many dishes as he could get away with, which meant that they were left with any plate that he didn't like.
When they'd parted ways, he and Kaneki ended up not ordering anything.
"Are they not fed well at the CCG?" Kaneki asked miserably, wrapping his arms around his stomach.
Right. He'd overheard that. But Suzuya hadn't seemed to mind, so Hide wouldn't either.
He had more pressing issues, like that he was sure if he moved, the nausea would win.
"You okay?" Kaneki asked, turning his head.
Hide shook his head. It wouldn't have been so bad, well not as bad, if he hadn't had that soda beforehand.
His stomach had already felt dangerously watery when Suzuya found out he didn't like salty foods and abandoned his fries.
Watching Kaneki attempt to get his money's worth by eating them all by himself made him feel bad, so he'd helped.
Kaneki paused, looking at him for a long time, knowing just how bad he felt.
Hide felt Kaneki try to pull his arm over his shoulder and groaned as nausea clawed up his throat, half-heartedly glaring at him. He felt weak enough that he'd probably pass out on the bench soon.
He didn't mind that so much if it let him escape the nausea.
"I'm not leaving you here," Kaneki told him. "So, we're either going to my place or yours. Can you—do you think you can hold on until then?"
Hide looked away and said, "Don't think so, but we'll see."
Kaneki forced him to stand, and Hide, miraculously, didn't puke all over him.
Turns out all the exposure therapy with Nagachika's shrimp chips had been useful after all.
"Your place," Hide managed. It was closer, and he'd really like to not be upright as soon as possible.
"Could you give me Suzuya's number? I don't know, but I think he stole my student ID," Kaneki said hesitantly.
"Don't know it. I... I'm going to ruin your shirt if you keep making me talk," Hide threatened.
Kaneki instantly went silent.
On Saturday, Hide was woken up by a text.
Shinjuku Station. 2 hours. If you're late, I'll kill you.
He tossed the phone down, pulled his pillow back over his face, and groaned.
"You're going to have to guide me, Nagachika. I don't know where I'm going."
No response, but he didn't move the pillow.
"I want to go back to sleep."
He heard a quiet snort.
.
.
.
Touka was waiting for him as he walked up the station steps.
Hide officially hated the train. He'd eaten a square of meat just to be safe, so it was fine there, but it had been cramped and it was, in his opinion, way too early for that many people to be on the train, even if it went between multiple wards.
Only he and one other person had gotten off at Shinjuku.
"Man," he said when he saw her. "Some people really need to learn what soap is."
"It didn't kill you," Touka said without sympathy, peeling herself off a column.
"You wouldn't be so nonchalant if you'd been in my car," Hide told her, stopping directly in front of her. "Even my nose could tell how potent it was."
Touka pushed him back a little, making space between them, but Hide only smiled, not taking it personally.
"Let's go," she said, turning and leaving him without another glance.
Hide shrugged and followed her. It was too late for her to maintain her cold distance. They'd both seen sides of each other they'd never intended to show.
It didn't make them friends, not by a long shot. It was more like an understanding between them, and even that felt like a stretch. Touka knew why he acted the way he did about eating, and he knew that Kaneki was safe around her.
"Why couldn't we meet up at the Nerima Station?"
"Someone had to tell Uta to expect you and to be on his best behavior. The cell signal is spotty here," Touka answered. "It's been that way since before I was born."
Shinjuku was one of the more dangerous wards and had been for so long that it didn't feel like a stretch to think that someone in power would make it harder for the ghouls here to communicate with each other. Maybe even the Prime Minister.
Touka led him down the almost empty street, then turned left down another, and then right down a narrower street that reminded Hide too much of the trap Nishiki walked him into. He kept his eyes on her back and didn't look at the walls.
"Did it have to be so early?" Hide asked, yawning.
"I don't want to waste the whole day babysitting, and I'm not being paid overtime for this."
"Barely anyone is around. Even they know it's too early."
Touka didn't respond.
The road stretched on, longer than any he'd seen so far, and thankfully without any dead ends. He followed her until she turned left suddenly and walked down a short staircase. If he was sent here on his own, he'd never find the studio.
Touka finally came to a stop in front of wooden double doors with a small open sign hanging from the knobs. Hide looked at the name of the place on the wall, at the center of what looked like a stylized sun.
HySy
Artmask Studio
Hide glanced over a sign board listing prices as Touka knocked, then looked at a second board showing off chalk examples of what the masks would look like. He gave a quick glance at the wall behind him that boxed the studio in, and then Touka grabbed his arm and pulled him in after her.
A checkerboard floor, masks lining the walls, glass display cases, and a shape under a white sheet in a corner next to a standing tray of masks—
"Uh, Touka, is that Uta?" Hide asked in mock confusion, rubbing his chin as Touka shut the door.
Touka paused, stepping around him to look. "Uta... what are you doing?"
A hand reached out under the sheet and Uta pulled the whole thing off, letting it fall to the floor next to him. "Well, this is disappointing. I wanted to scare him."
Hide made himself blink at Touka like he found it all weird.
She only turned to him and said, "That's Uta. He'll make your mask."
"I've heard interesting things about you from Mr. Yoshimura," Uta said, getting up to move to a table covered with tools. "It's nice to meet you. Touka, if you would, turn the sign outside to closed."
Touka did, leaving him alone with Uta for a few seconds.
"I'm Hide. Your tattoos are cool."
"Thank you. How did you know I was there, if you don't mind me asking?"
"I saw your shoes. Pretty distinctive."
Uta looked down at his flats and the old paint splattered on them. "I've had them a long time," was all he said as Touka came back in.
"I won't bite," he added when Hide didn't move.
"Sorry," Hide said, forcing a nervous smile as he made his feet move towards Uta. "I just, well, I haven't had a good experience with ghouls who look at me with eyes like that."
It had unsettled him how tame Uta looked up close compared to how dangerous he knew the ghoul really was. His red and black eyes were off-putting, but no more than Suzuya's expression when something annoyed him.
"Maybe I can change that," Uta said, his expression unchanging as he sat and looked up at Hide. "You're quite tall."
Hide stopped within touching range, saying nothing.
"Is he always like this, Touka?" Uta asked, never looking away from him.
Touka, with her hands in her pockets, just shrugged.
Uta reached out slowly, like he was a scared animal, and took his wrist.
Hide didn't stop Uta from bringing his arm up to sniff at his wrist, and he managed to keep his tensing to a minimum.
Hide made himself glance questioningly at Touka like he was completely clueless.
"You smell interesting," Uta said, gently lowering his hand, like Hide might bolt if he wasn't delicate. "And like you spend a lot of time with Touka. Hmm..."
"It's not like that," Touka said immediately.
Hide glanced back at her assessingly, and said, "Touka's cute and all, but she's a highschooler. The gap in maturity is a deal breaker for me—"
"Don't pretend like you're some catch. I pity the girl that ends up with you," she said, louder than him.
Hide glanced at Uta, as if to say, see?
For that brief moment he forgot that Uta was anything but just a mask maker watching them banter.
It was a nice moment.
Uta merely turned his gaze back to Touka and asked, "He needs a mask right away, right? I hear that things in the 20th have been rowdy lately."
"Yeah, between the binge eater and the gourmet, I can't say I'm surprised the doves are looking into them. It's just..." Touka trailed off, shrugging again. "Frustrating. Good ghouls don't deserve to be hunted like this because of a few bad eggs."
"That's the way it always is," Uta said, getting up and patting the seat as he looked back Hide. "Come, I need your measurements for the mask."
"Still—" Touka let out a big breath. "Forget it."
Uta moved behind him as he sat. "Would you prefer your face to be fully covered, or a half-mask? You might want a half-mask for your first. It's much easier to eat if you keep your mouth clear, and they're easier to adjust if you don't like it."
Hide tried to stay still as Uta felt his face, holding the edges of the chair. "Uh, isn't a full-face mask better for keeping your identity hidden?"
"You'd be surprised how hard it is to identify someone by only their mouth, or ears, or even by their chin, unless they have a distinctive shape," Uta answered. "But I think I understand."
Hide was tense as Uta traced a finger along the side of his head and around the back.
"Do you have any allergies?" Uta asked. "Rubber, latex, metal..."
"No," Hide answered with not much confidence, glancing at Nagachika, who was half studying the masks in the display cases and half listening.
̶"̶N̶a̶h̶,̶ ̶n̶o̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶e̶r̶g̶i̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶r̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶I̶'̶d̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶t̶e̶n̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶a̶s̶k̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶.̶ ̶I̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶s̶ ̶c̶o̶o̶l̶.̶"̶
"If anything I have you try on makes you itch or feels funny, let me know," Uta said, turning to write down measurements on a piece of paper.
"I will."
"Let's see, what else should I ask...?" Uta trailed off, trapping a spiky strand of Hide's hair between his fingers as he wrote, and Hide kept his eyes on the tiles. "If you're not into younger women, what kind of women are you into? Older women? Women your age?"
"Ah..." Hide reached up to rub nervously at the back of his head, then remembered Uta's hand was in the way and stopped. "I don't really have a type. I like the waitresses at this restaurant back in the 20th, Big Girl. They're old enough to wear uniforms with short skirts, but still have really cute faces..."
The fingers left his hair.
Hide endured the silence for a few seconds before he asked, "Is it possible to use tech to change what you sound like? Like have a voice changer built in?"
"That would make things easier, but I'm not an engineer, and buying that kind of tech has more cons than benefits. There are different manufacturers, but they're required by law to share their customer data with the doves. In wards like yours with less ghoul activity, there are regional laws to somewhat protect privacy, even if they're weak. There were laws here like that once, but they've all been repealed. If I ordered those parts in bulk, or even one at a time, I'd have doves at my doorstep by the next morning."
"Ah." He'd had no idea.
Uta poked the back of his head. "You're much more safe than I was expecting. You're honestly quite boring."
Hide blinked and looked up at him, unsure how to respond to that.
"I thought the child of doves that became a ghoul himself would ask much more exciting questions than this," Uta explained, "But all in all this has been a pretty standard session. It hasn't awakened my inspiration at all. But maybe hearing about you before I met you was my mistake. I had an idea of you, and it was unrealistic to think you'd live up to it. I'll still do my job, of course."
Uta raised his eyes above Hide, to Touka. "I'll send the mask to Anteiku when it's done. Turn the sign back to open on your way out, will you?"
Hide didn't know what to say or do as Uta picked up the page he'd written the measurements on and left, pushing aside a curtain of beads as he went deeper inside the shop.
"It was nice seeing you again, Touka," Uta called behind him.
Hide stood awkwardly, not sure where he went wrong.
"Later, Uta!" Touka called back, already pushing the door open.
Hide, scratching the back of his head, followed her, and she waited until he was out before flicking the sign over. He trailed after her back up the steps, still confused, until she stopped suddenly halfway up.
"What do you think of Uta? Be honest with me," she asked without looking back, hands in her pockets.
Hide paused with one foot on the next step.
He could've fed her the same lie about his eyes or played his tenseness off by saying Uta had been a little too hands-on, but it was because of the second part that he didn't.
Be honest with me.
Touka knew he'd blow the question off before she'd even asked, go full Nagachika on her.
Hide was silent for a long time. Touka stayed where she was, keeping her back to him.
After a while, he glanced back towards the shop, but Touka wouldn't have asked him here if she thought Uta was listening in. He still didn't feel safe.
"He seems dangerous," he eventually answered, carefully. "Like those plants that eat insects and flies by luring them in with sweet smells and trapping them inside. The bugs think the plants are unassuming until it's melting and digesting them."
Touka said nothing.
Hide crouched suddenly, lowering his voice as he spoke to the steps and said, "He must've made your mask, right? And the others at Anteiku, too. If Anteiku is reliant on him, other ghouls groups probably are too. The guy has to have connections. If we can come and go between Nerima and Shinjuku, other ghouls can too, right? He could have tech smuggled in from a safer ward if he really wanted to, or he could hire an employee who knows how to use that tech and have them work out the back, but he lied instead—"
Touka spun around, came closer, and sat in front of him. Hide blinked at her in surprise.
She leaned forward and asked, "What makes you think someone is spying on us, half-ass?"
"Paranoia," Hide answered blandly. It was the most obvious lie he'd ever told her. What would he have to be paranoid about?
Touka made a tsk sound, stared hard at the wall, and said, "You don't get it. Any piece of tech that can aid in hiding our identity always has red tape around it. Know why there aren't many laws around phones? It's because they're already a giant tracker that we carry around. But there are regional laws in the 20th about when and where you're allowed to wear a mask, and it's mostly just if you're cosplaying. Even then you have to register when you'll wear it and where you'll be, or they won't sell it to you. If a voice changer was tampered with, the doves would know."
"I don't think that matters," Hide countered. "It looked like he's been making masks out of that shop for a long time. Why hasn't the CCG found his place by now? Take him out, and ghouls all over become easier to hunt. But if the CCG had any leads, you wouldn't have come here. Maybe he's killing any dove that gets close, maybe not, but he knows how to keep the CCG away from him."
"Or," she said, leaning towards him. "Uta didn't trust you enough to tell you anything."
"Yeah, maybe," Hide said. "But he smelled you on me and you brought me here. Lying to me? Sure, whatever. Thinking that you'd keep up that lie when we seemed so close? Doesn't make much sense to me."
Touka studied his eyes, but that was the problem with being able to lie well. When people looked into your eyes searching for the truth, they'd see the same thing as when you were dishonest.
She looked at the wall again. "Whether Uta is lying or not, if he's hiding something, or if he's more dangerous than I know... isn't something I can judge him for. I have no moral high ground to stand on, you know? Most ghouls don't. To you, it looks bad, but to me he's not acting out of the ordinary. I thought you'd comment on the part where he called you boring, because you weren't. You asked questions like a middle school ghoul, not the barely walking infant you should be. I keep wondering what he was expecting."
"You wanted me to be honest," Hide said back.
"Then get to the point and tell me why you think he lied, half-ass."
Hide blinked at her.
The only reason he could think of for why Uta wouldn't even try to make his masks better for ghouls was because making life easier for either side meant less chaos, less fun. And since Uta was the most reliable mask maker among all the wards, or at least that Hide knew of, he made the rules.
But he couldn't say that. Not without things spiraling out of control, and he didn't have much to begin with.
He tilted his head back, thinking. "Touka," he finally said, "I don't know what he is to you, but you shouldn't give him too much trust."
"You can't just say that. You don't even know him."
Hide ignored her. "I don't think he'll hurt you, but that doesn't mean he won't manipulate you."
He stood without waiting for a response and walked up the steps.
"Hey!" Touka called after him, scrambling up.
"I just remembered," Hide said, staring straight ahead. "I've met almost everyone on the staff at Anteiku, but I haven't met that Ayato guy you and the old man talked about the night I came to Anteiku. He as lazy as the Devil Ape?"
Touka stopped walking, but he didn't, and she had to jog to catch up. "What a piss-poor attempt to distract me," she muttered, rubbing her arm like she was suddenly cold.
"Is it piss-poor if it's working?" Hide wondered aloud.
"It's not," Touka snapped. "It's just that you're going to have to learn about him sooner or later. Wish it wasn't me that had to tell you but..." she trailed off and went quiet, pulling her collar up over her mouth. "I have a younger brother. That's Ayato. All you need to know about him is that he didn't agree with Mr. Yoshimura's rules and quit. He took the train out of the 20th and no one has heard from him since. That's his story."
"Why'd he take the job if he didn't want to follow Mr. Yoshimura?" Hide asked, still staring ahead.
"We grew up in the cafe," Touka said tiredly. "We were taught one way, and little kids don't really think about right or wrong. Then we grew up. I left too, but came back to Anteiku. He didn't."
Hide stopped at a three-way turn, not remembering which way was back to the station, and Touka took the lead.
"Your turn, half-ass. If you think he's so bad, why do you think Uta won't hurt me?" she asked.
Hide put his hands in his pockets and tried to dig himself out of the hole he'd made for himself. "Well, because Yomo is the CCG's Raven and Uta is No Face. Don't know if you know, but they used to run around here together. I didn't want to get on Yomo's bad side by telling you if you didn't, but if he's Uta's source, then attacking Anteiku's staff wouldn't be good for whatever they are to each other."
Touka stopped in the middle of the street. She didn't turn around as she said, "I thought you said your parents never told you anything."
"Never said I wasn't nosy," Hide said back without hesitation, stopping behind her. "You've never seen anything left unattended as a kid and thought you had to touch it? That was me with the boxes they brought home. I used to want to be like them."
She went silent.
Even if she told Yomo, and it made him or the old man feel they needed to look into him, they'd have to accept that explanation, because Nagachika had done the heavy lifting in keeping his nose clean.
Hide didn't think Nagachika had ever left the 20th. Never got in trouble except maybe as the class clown. Never got a bad grade or missed a day without having an excuse.
How could it possibly be anything else?
"But what told you that No Face was Uta?" Touka asked, her voice carefully even.
"I met him," Hide said, shrugging even if she couldn't see it. "Doesn't seem like any investigator that knows about No Face was ever able to get close to Uta when he wasn't wearing a mask and walk away, so—"
Touka laughed, sharp and abrupt. "Remember what I said, about not being sure you were ever human? This reminds me of that. You're lying your ass off. Are you sure you weren't a ghoul in your last life?"
Hide didn't answer, but Touka didn't wait for him to. She started walking again, faster, widening the distance between them when he followed her.
"Hey, Touka?" Hide eventually broke the silence, his hands laced together behind his head.
"What?" she snapped.
"Speaking of that night, what made you so sure that my folks had never been to the 20th before?"
"You have a memorable last name. If Enji or Irimi had met any dove named Nagachika, they would've fought me to train you," Touka said tersely, like she was only answering because she felt like she had to. "It's funny in a way that really isn't, you know? You never even asked who or what the gourmet is. What's boring about that?"
Hide paused, looking at her back.
"Just how many files did your parents leave lying around?" she asked sarcastically.
They didn't speak again, after that.