It was surreal, being back on campus after what happened, like nothing had happened.
Hide leaned back dangerously on two legs of his chair, at the back of the meeting room. At the front, Sankou was scrolling her phone, telling Kiyama where to mark most recent ghoul attacks on a big map tacked on the wall.
In the last week, there were three. The first had been a group of ghouls that had attacked an investigator thinking they were human. The second was a ghoul that had caught some human alone at night and mauled them to death. He looked at the ceiling instead of the third X. It marked the alley that Ryoko had been killed in.
He should probably wash his backpack again later. After he left Anteiku he'd spent a good chunk of time doing just that. Emptying it, scrubbing the inside and the outside in the bathtub, taking a break to pretend to be polite as he delivered an envelope with his overdue rent and upcoming rent to his landlord, hanging the backpack up to dry overnight.
Maybe that had been enough to get rid of the smell. Unless he was willing to ask Nishiki to take a sniff, he should probably wash it again, just in case—
̶"̶N̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶s̶o̶n̶ ̶b̶e̶h̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶S̶t̶a̶r̶ ̶F̶e̶s̶t̶i̶v̶a̶l̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶e̶l̶e̶b̶r̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶L̶a̶d̶y̶ ̶O̶r̶i̶h̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶H̶i̶k̶o̶b̶o̶s̶h̶i̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶y̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶d̶e̶i̶t̶i̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶t̶t̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶o̶w̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶e̶a̶c̶h̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶d̶a̶y̶ ̶a̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶r̶,̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶J̶u̶l̶y̶ ̶7̶t̶h̶,̶"̶ Nagachika told him, sitting to his left, slouched lazily in an empty chair, arms crossed. If Sankou or Kiyama came to sit, he'd get up.
It'd make him feel less real if they went through him.
Nagachika tilted his head back. ̶"̶N̶o̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶i̶g̶ ̶f̶u̶s̶s̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶e̶.̶ ̶P̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶u̶s̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶w̶r̶i̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶p̶i̶e̶c̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶p̶a̶p̶e̶r̶,̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶g̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶b̶a̶m̶b̶o̶o̶ ̶t̶r̶e̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶b̶u̶r̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶i̶d̶n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.̶ ̶W̶a̶r̶d̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶I̶n̶v̶e̶s̶t̶i̶g̶a̶t̶o̶r̶s̶ ̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶s̶t̶r̶e̶a̶m̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶i̶r̶e̶w̶o̶r̶k̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶l̶e̶ ̶p̶a̶r̶a̶d̶e̶.̶"̶
It was... the 9th of July? So, it would've just happened?
̶"̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶k̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶i̶t̶t̶e̶e̶ ̶g̶r̶o̶u̶p̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶t̶.̶ ̶A̶t̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ ̶g̶o̶e̶s̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶p̶i̶c̶t̶u̶r̶e̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶u̶p̶l̶o̶a̶d̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶.̶"̶
Hide wondered if anyone at Anteiku celebrated it. No one had mentioned it, but he could see someone like Touka doing the tradition in private, where only she would know she did it.
"Hey, Hide—"
He jerked out of his thoughts. He grabbed at the table to pull himself down as he started to lose his balance and swore the sound of his chair legs thudding down was extra loud. He froze.
The Paranormal Research club only had four members, including him, and two of them, plus Nagachika, were sitting around a long foldable white table in the middle of the room.
In a light novel called Days, the black-haired guy who startled him had been a ghoul.
Sankou was frowning, her phone held loosely at her side. "Are we boring you?"
"It's not that," Hide said quickly, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck. "I guess... I just don't see what this is supposed to prove. There haven't been any attacks around here, right? So, the list, it's only because you haven't seen them eat?"
An open notebook was at the center of the table with a list of the names of suspected ghouls.
The name written at the top, Ken Kaneki, was something else he'd been avoiding looking at.
Kiyama moved the marker to tap the campus. "That's just it. It's too quiet. It's more likely that there are a lot of ghouls hiding here. Most aren't as obvious as these three—" he looked at the three X's. "It's pretty abnormal actually. That's why the mother ghoul and the group that attacked that Investigator were taken out so fast. I know it might seem weird, but this is how we always start our research into a target. We're always thorough before we turn in what we have to the branch office. Sometimes we do our research for months, and they turn out to be normal," he said in disappointment.
Hide paused. They were more organized than he'd thought. "Stilll, how do you fund this? I seriously thought you recruited me just because you didn't have enough members to keep the club running."
"Well, that was part of it—" Kiyama began, before Sankou elbowed him.
She cleared her throat to cover his whine as he wrapped his arms around his stomach. "We're, well, we're not alone," she said. "There are other groups like ours, but online. We ask them for help, like if our suspect isn't originally from Japan, or if they have a criminal history we can't access. And then we print out all our evidence and send it in anonymously. If our friends see the news and we were right, they donate to our page."
"We still get donations if we're wrong, but not as many," Kiyama added. "It's exciting that so many people want to help us catch ghouls, even if we don't know who they are..." he trailed off.
"I'm guessing that they must be doctors or lawyers or politicians. I mean, think about it. They have tons of money to throw around and have access to things that we couldn't even dream of looking up," Cain mentioned, tapping a pen on a notepad in front of him. "But, if more people learned that we're not just a weird club—"
"It's not weird," Kiyama sputtered.
"—but that we have resources and connections, it might inspire vigilante groups and undermine the police. If you look at it that way, you can understand more why those people online wouldn't want us to know who they are."
"Yeah," Hide said, rubbing his chin. "That makes sense."
He wondered if old man Yoshimura knew about this.
It clicked suddenly, how Kano was able to keep his operation running for so long before he joined up with Aogiri.
He'd never thought about it before, but since Kano had lost his job and was disowned by his family, who was funding him?
If it was multiple people all over the world...
It was no wonder nothing the CCG, Kaneki, or Scarecrow did ever seemed to slow him down.
Hide looked at Kiyama, shelving those thoughts. "Is that why you turn in your evidence anonymously?"
"Ah, no. We uh, when I first became President we went about it the wrong way—"
"Not we, me," Sankou interrupted him. "That first time, I went alone, and I—I was nervous. I met with an investigator outside and while I was explaining why I was there, I let it slip that we were tracking multiple people. He thought I was trying to get his help in a petty way, to get back at people I didn't like, and threatened to hand me over to the police for stalking."
"I said we because when I tried the next day it went worse, remember? I think it was the same investigator. He recognized the box I was carrying the evidence in and wouldn't listen to me. And when I tried to explain the club—I made it worse," Kiyama said, frowning. "So, we stopped talking to them."
Hide nodded a few times, still rubbing his chin. "So, in other words, you're both introverts with poor social skills."
"We—We convinced you, didn't we?" Sankou asked, suddenly embarrassed, her voice slightly higher than before.
"Barely."
"It was just the two of us for so long—" Kiyama started, half-agreeing with him.
"Hey," she said, whirling on him. "Speak for yourself!"
Cain tapped Hide's arm with his pen. "Sorry about startling you. I didn't think you were that zoned out."
"It's no big deal," Hide said, turning to him as Kiyama and Sankou bickered in the background. "Why? You need something?"
"Yeah, your phone number and your address. I've got everything else," Cain said.
Hide glanced at the notepad. His name and what was probably Nagachika's birthday was written on it. "What's that for?"
"It's for our sponsor," he said, lifting the page to show Hide his own information written beneath it. "We don't have enough members to need a historian, but someone still has to keep a record of our members and basic activities, and that's me. It's to make sure we're not using the clubroom to goof off."
"They know about the online stuff?"
"Nah, not really. She's pretty hands-off. I've never even met her," Cain said.
"Huh. Weird."
"The whole club is weird, if you didn't notice."
Hide scoffed.
Cain looked at Sankou and Kiyama. "Reminds me of how ours used to be."
Hide paused. He leaned back in his chair and didn't meet his eyes as he said, "Yeah."
"Oh, by the way, you know the Paranormal Research Club? They think you're a ghoul."
Ken's eyes bulged and he choked on his coffee, grabbing the nearest thing (a seating pillow) as he turned to the side and coughed black stains onto it, barely managing to get his mug down in time to avoid spilling the rest.
Hide fell back laughing.
Ken wasn't as amused. "You really had to tell me that as I was drinking?" he asked dryly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm never getting the stains out of this. You owe me a new one."
"Sure, sure, but the look on your face," Hide said, cackling to himself.
Ken paused. "Were you serious?"
"Yeah," Hide said between breaths. "Of course I was."
"What...?" he trailed off, seemingly not knowing how to take that. He leaned an arm on the table. "Why would they think I'm the ghoul?"
"Suzuya too," he said, resting a hand on his stomach.
Ken stared at him. "I've never even heard of them...?"
Hide sat up and re-crossed his legs. "Don't freak out, but they've been stalking us. They never saw you eat, and that got you put on their list."
Ken's face went blank. He leaned back, put his clenched fists in his lap, and said nothing.
"Ken—"
"I'm not freaking out," Ken said, his voice strained.
Hide couldn't help laughing again, but managed to contain it to snickers.
"I don't get it," Ken said, voice even more strained. "I buy instant coffee almost every morning."
"That's drinking," Hide stressed. "That's not eating."
Ken looked like he didn't understand. "But you—not that I want them to—but you drink less than me. And Suzuya was only on campus that one time."
"I make sure to eat snack bars at least twice a week," Hide denied, dismissing his lies with a wave. "And I had someone in the club cover for me. You remember anyone named Cain?"
"No...?"
Nagachika really hadn't cared much about him at all.
"Well, doesn't matter. He remembered me from high school."
Ken frowned.
"From the club I was in, not because I had other friends. Don't worry, I'm still just as much of a loner as you."
"I'm not—I wasn't—" Ken stopped, looking at his lap. "Am I really that obvious?"
"Like a thunderstorm."
His shoulders hunched. "It's not—it's not that you have other friends. It was the idea that you didn't tell me about them."
Hide leaned back. "I don't know if that's better or worse."
Kaneki threw the pillow at him and Hide caught it with one hand.
"What can I do about it? That club?" he asked, still hunching his shoulders.
"Nothing," Hide said, dropping the wet pillow. "I joined the club. I'll take care of it."
"Maybe I can eat when they're watching? Would that help?"
Hide shook his head. "They'll know I told you, and then I'll be kicked out, but it won't change anything."
Ken was silent. Then he sighed. "I'm tired of feeling helpless," he admitted.
Hide paused, glancing over the mugs on the table. "You're not. You're a great taste tester."
Ken said nothing.
Hide flopped backwards. "Seriously, you're not. I'm glad you followed me that day with Nishiki."
He needed that push to fight. And who knows what else Nishiki would've done with him to send a message to Touka?
After a second, Ken forced himself to relax. "You called me Ken," he mentioned.
"I did?" Hide asked, blinking. "Do you... mind?"
"No, I don't," he said quietly.
Hide couldn't read the true meaning behind his words, but it still made him want to smile.
Ken shifted to stand, starting to gather the mugs to take them to the sink. "I don't know why you still need me to do this," he said. "Your coffee is fine."
"Slightly worse than instant coffee from a vending machine isn't fine. It's not good. It's not even okay."
"You've gotten better since then."
"Oh, so slightly better than instant coffee?"
Ken made a noise and Hide realized he was laughing.
"Wow, way to rub it in."
"No—" he made that noise again, like he was covering his mouth and trying to hold it in. "It's really not that bad."
"Wow."
Ken couldn't hold it in anymore. He dropped on his knees, one hand against the ground, and laughed hard.
And Hide watched him, thinking that he could live in that moment, that second, forever.
Later, after he cleaned the coffee maker while Ken washed the mugs, after the sun went down and Ken was using his energized state to search the job market, while Hide drifted in an out of consciousness on his bed, he said,
"I think I'm going to write a book about ghouls."
Hide blinked a few times, then rolled over so he could look down at where Ken was on the floor.
"I won't be careless," he continued, a small laptop in his lap "It'll be something between Metamorphasis and The Black Goat's Egg. About something inhuman, but not directly referencing ghouls."
"What for?" Hide managed.
"It's how I can help you," Ken said, looking up at him.
Hide blinked at him.
"I want other humans to see what I see, that ghouls aren't all bad, or all good. Just like people. Ghouls eat people, but if animals could talk, would people stop eating them?" he asked. "No, they wouldn't. They'd just find new ways to make it more humane. I want to show that it's complex on all sides, and I want to write a book one day. This way I get to do both."
"If they take you to Cochlea, I'll break you out," Hide mumbled, trying to keep his eyes open.
"Thanks?" Ken said unsurely, then paused to think about that. "Wouldn't they take me prison? Human prison?"
"If the CCG sees you as a threat..." he trailed off. "Don't really know. Maybe?"
Ken looked at him for a long time, then turned back to his book. "It won't stop me."
It was the last thing Hide heard before his eyes fully closed.
Ken looked more and more uncomfortable as Hide led them to the arcade.
"The closer we get, the more I feel like we don't belong here," he said uncomfortably, holding onto the strap of his messenger bag.
Hide swung an arm around his neck, and he looked more miserable as he was pulled closer. "We don't look that old. Neither of us have wrinkles or stress lines or anything. We can pass for sixteen at least."
Ken only frowned more.
"And, and, I told you why here was a good place. It's noisy and—"
"And I'm a bad liar," he muttered. "You're just listing all the reasons why I don't want to do this."
"You need practice, and I'm giving you practice," Hide said. "No one will look twice at you here. It's public, but not too public, you know?"
Ken, in response, shoved him away and went back to gripping his messenger bag.
Hide had tried to insist he leave it, since it was the weekend and that made it weird, but he said it made him feel safer, whatever that meant, and it had taken enough cajoling to get him out of the apartment that Hide left it alone.
It was early, but the arcade was still full enough as they stepped inside, and Ken looked squeamish.
Hide walked them over to the coin exchange machine, discreetly checking out the other patrons as he inserted five hundred yen. He glanced at the listed prices on the closest machines as he collected his coins. They'd be able to play five games, maybe six, but the playability and the coins weren't important. They were just so he and Ken had an excuse to wander around.
"There," Hide said, giving a quick, discreet glance at three girls around a claw machine.
Ken turned pretty obviously to look and Hide took a moment to lean on the machine and sigh deeply. He stopped before an employee could notice and gave Ken a look.
Ken grimaced like he'd swallowed something sour, and then took a breath, schooling his expression into something that looked more nervous than squeamish. He went over to the girls, still holding his bag, and stopped a polite distance away, but still close enough for them to stop and glance at him.
"Um, hi," he said, which... wasn't the worst thing Hide had seen in his life.
"Hi?" one of the girls said back, just as awkwardly.
"I'm Ke—Kunizaki!" he said too loudly, holding his chin. "I'm Kunizaki! It's nice to meet you!"
He was practically yelling. Hide hung his head.
"It's nice to meet you, Kunizaki, but..." the girl who'd returned his greeting trailed off, looking unsurely at her friends.
"We're supposed to be meeting with some friends soon. We're very sorry, but we need to go now," the girl next to her said quickly, dipping her head as a goodbye as she ushered herself and her friends away.
Ken stood there, frozen, smiling creepily until they retreated, and only then did Hide walk over to him.
"Gonna take a lot more work than I thought," Hide said, crossing his arms.
Ken immediately fell to his knees. "Why are you doing this to me?" he asked miserably.
"First, I need you to stop doing this—" Hide grabbed his own chin. "—when you lie."
Ken looked up. "I don't do that."
"Man, I've got a long day ahead of me," Hide said to himself, rubbing his chin.
"I don't! I'd know if I did that!"
"Okay, up. I've already found your next victims."
"Hide!"
Hide stopped in front of the open bathroom door.
Touka was inside, the right sleeve of her uniform bunched up around her shoulder, holding the end of a bandage roll with her teeth as she wound the rest of the roll around her upper arm.
An open first-aid kit was sitting in the sink.
There wasn't any news yet about the investigators she'd killed, but it was only a matter of time.
He knocked his knuckles against the door frame and she jerked, startled eyes jumping from the mirror to swivel around to where he stood behind her. She spit out the bandage and asked, hissing at him, "Did no one teach you any manners? Shouldn't you be working instead of being a creep?"
"The café closed a few minutes ago," Hide said mildly.
Touka looked startled. "Well, so what?" she asked, full of venom, refocusing on her arm. "If you came to tell me your opinion that I didn't ask for, take a damn number. There's a long queue in front of you."
"I came to talk about Hina," he said neutrally, putting his hands in his pockets.
Touka looked to be one wrong word away from shoving him through a wall, and he knew offering to help her with her arm when she was like this would only fuel that fire.
She paused. "Hina, huh?" she repeated, narrowing her eyes at her arm as she struggled to get the bandages to stay in place. "She lets you call her that?"
Hide shook his head. "Seriously, Touka, what do you think I'm going to do to her?"
Touka made a frustrated noise and grabbed the bandages drooping down her arm, ripping them into pieces as she yanked them off. They fell in a bloody pile at her feet. She spun around and Hide wasn't fast enough to react before she grabbed his collar and yanked him into the room.
He knew why she'd done it. Hina was under a pile of blankets on one of the couches in the meeting room. She didn't sleep much, which meant she'd be able to hear him if he stayed in the hallway.
Touka kept her eyes on him as she closed the door, only to jerk away from the handle with a pained hiss. She'd automatically used her right to do it and fresh blood was dribbling down her arm.
"I don't know what you're going to do," she said, letting out a breathless little laugh. "I don't even know whose side you're on, half-ass."
Hide blinked. "You don't know...? I'm a ghoul."
She laughed again, bitterly. "No, you don't get it. You have an out. What reason do you have to care about what she's going through? What do you care about the doves? If things get too hot, you have a safety net. You can leave at any time and your human will accept you. Why are you even still here?"
Hide said nothing. He'd seen a few sides of Touka now, but jealousy was new.
But this was after she'd probably been lectured by old man Yoshimura, Yomo, and whoever else was ahead of him in that 'queue'. She was fraying at the edges, but she'd kept working, because she had no where else to go. No matter how unwanted she felt, she couldn't leave.
She didn't have anything else.
If her human knew the truth, she wouldn't have come into work today.
Touka turned her head and her hair fell over her eyes. "So damn lucky," she said, suddenly exhausted as she stared at the blood sliding down her fingers.
Hide couldn't tell what he knew, that Yoriko would accept her too, because he'd never met Yoriko. Touka kept her so far away from Anteiku that he shouldn't know she even existed.
So instead, he decided to risk whatever might happen and moved to the first aid kit. She'd made a mess of it, but he managed to find a fresh roll of bandages.
"Touka, I know you won't believe me, but you have that safety net too," Hide said, turning to her.
She eyed the bandages in his hand but said nothing.
"Ken knows about you," Hide said, holding out the bandages like a peace offering. "If you got to know the guy—"
"If you want to talk about Hinami, why come to me? I'm not exactly doing what's best for her, you know?" Touka asked, dry and tired sounding, but didn't take the roll.
Hide didn't lower his hand. "Well, because the old man wants to send her to the 24th ward and you were the only one who spoke up against it. Part of the reason you did what you did was so you could stop her from needing to go, right?" he asked.
She didn't answer.
Hide rubbed the back of his neck. "I might've been human, but I wasn't ignorant. I know that the old man has his reasons, but the 24th—the things I've heard about it—I don't think sending her there is the right call. So, I was thinking, what if she was hidden away somewhere else? Anteiku is the safest place for her, but if she's able to be outside of it for a while and be fine, it'll prove she can still live here."
"And if she's not fine?" Touka asked, suddenly all steel.
"She will be," he said back. "Ryoko never killed anyone, even when they cornered her. You killed an investigator. That makes you the biggest priority of any dove in this ward. You stay free, and Hina stays below you on their list."
Touka stared at him, and then snatched the roll from his hand. "I actually tried to kill two, but there was a third that came out of nowhere and saved him."
Hide blinked, then looked at her arm. "Do you want help?"
Touka didn't move, blood steadily dripping from the tips of her fingers. "It's unnerving that you're judging me the least for this, half-ass."
"I've got no ground to stand on," he said. "Come on, Touka, you've seen me—"
"Killing is different from that," she sharply interrupted him. "You can't unkill someone once they're dead. People and ghouls can heal from getting bitten. I don't trust you, but it was never because of that ass Nishiki. You could've ripped out his throat. You didn't. Hate to say it, but that makes you better than me."
Hide sighed. He stepped closer to Touka and held out his hand. "Give it back so I can help you."
Her fingers clenched around the roll. "Leave it. I'm living out the consequences of my choice, just like the manager wants. You came to talk about Hina, so out with it, half-ass."
Hide made a 'gimmie' motion with his fingers. "It's silly to think that I'll have clean hands forever, Touka. Besides, you're talking about me like I'm still human. I thought you were convinced that I was born a ghoul. Means I came out the womb with dirty hands, right?"
She stared up at him in silence, then she started laughing. A real, genuine laugh that had her wrapping her arms around her stomach and slumping down against the cabinet. "I do think that, dammit," she said, looking tired again. "I hate your guts, half-ass."
Hide made another 'gimmie' motion and Touka leaned forward to finally shoved the roll back in his hand.
He got down on his knees and held his hands up to show his good intent. She tsk'ed at him but held out her arm. Hide thought to grab a towel to clean off all the blood, but knew if he stood he'd have to convince her all over again.
"My idea was for Hina to stay at my place for now. Not just to prove a point, but because she's seriously alone here," Hide said mildly, wrapping her upper arm.
Touka's eyes flared at him, her mouth opening to say he was wrong, but the defense never came.
Hide knew that, after Mado was dead, Hina would move in with Touka for a while. But she'd fallen into his trap in the first place because she'd caught her parents' scent and snuck out.
Touka squeezed spending time with Hina in between working and researching universities. Irimi and Koma poked in to check on her and talk. He wasn't sure about Yomo or the old man but he himself helped her with her words before and after his shift. But that was just it.
All of them had outside responsibilities that didn't care that Ryoko had died.
If she had more than a few books and a cold couch, would she still have left? If she was farther away, would she still catch their scents at all? Hide didn't know, but what did he lose by trying?
Touka looked away. "If we're moving her, it's not to your place. She can stay with me. I might have a lot of heat on me, but if what you don't think will happen does happen, she'll need someone who can fight for her, not die in front of her."
Hide shook his head. "I wouldn't if certain people taught me to fight—" He stopped when he heard the doorknob turn. He remembered suddenly, how the old man had told Kaneki to leave Touka alone when he tried to help her.
Touka yanked her arm away and the rest of the roll tumbled out of his hands. She shoved off the ground, or tried to, forgetting her arm again as she fell back against the cabinet with a loud hiss.
Hide stood as the door opened, but it was Hina, not the manager, who stood in front of him. Her hands were bunched up in her nightdress and she looked, well—
Not okay, but it didn't look like she'd been crying.
"If you're going to talk about me, you could at least let me pick where I'm going to go," she mumbled.
Touka's eyes widened.
"Ah, you heard that?" Hide asked, pretending to nervously scratch his cheek. He hadn't thought her hearing was this good. Not yet. It made him wonder what else she'd heard.
If she'd overheard the queue in front of him shun or lecture Touka for what she'd done, or if she heard the old man wanting to send her away, or how no one but Touka tried to stop him, it made more sense why she'd followed Kaneki and didn't come back.
If she'd stayed at the cafe until she grew a little more, changed her hair style and what she wore, and picked a new name, she still could've made a life for herself in the 20th. If Nishiki could do it when he was alone, she could too. Instead of coming back to help Touka rebuild, she'd chosen Aogiri.
If she knew even a quarter of the old man's secrets, even if she didn't understand them now, he thought he could understand.
"—if it's my choice, I want to stay with Hide."
Hide blinked out of his thoughts, because he swore he just heard—
"Hina," Touka began, just as surprised. "If we go through with this, and that's a big if, he can't—he can't protect you from—"
"I know," Hina said quietly, digging her fingers deeper in her dress. "But I want new books to read. I'm tired of the same old ones, and everything else on the bookshelf is too advanced for me."
"I can get you new books—"
"It's not just the books," Hina interrupted her, hunching her shoulders. "I don't want to get you in any more trouble, Touka. Please, I don't want to fight about it."
Touka opened her mouth, then closed it. She took a breath and forced the emotion out of her voice as she said, "If that's what you want. But, and listen to me, you didn't get me in trouble. I made the decision to do what I did on my own."
Hina squeezed her dress more and said nothing.
"I've got another idea," Hide told Touka. "How hard is it to get hair dye?"
Both looked at him.
Touka closed her eyes, sagging against the cabinet. "Not hard normally, but these aren't normal times. The doves—they can't stop beauty products from being sold, but they can stake out convenience stores and keep a list of people that buy things that could be used as disguises. They won't have names, but descriptions are just as bad. If you notice someone spending way too long in one aisle, that's probably a dove."
Hina frowned and tugged on a lock of her hair.
"I have a few wigs lying around somewhere. She can use those," Touka said, tilting her head back.
"Orange ones?" Hide asked.
"Why would she need an orange—"
"The CCG are looking for a girl alone, not a girl and her brother. If she is staying with me, the closer we can get her to look like me, the safer she'll be," Hide explained.
"But I look like my mama like this," Hina said suddenly, quiet and sad, holding the ends of her hair with both hands.
Hide went silent. What did he say to that?
"I know," Touka said, grabbing the counter with her left hand and dragging herself upright. "I know. I look like my dad. I had to wear wigs for a few years after he was gone, and it killed me inside. I couldn't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. But humans have pretty short attention spans, you see? You just need to do it until they forget. Your hair won't naturally change color 'till you're old and gray, so you have time. I bet you'll be able to stop wearing them before you hit puberty."
Hina trembled, and then she rubbed her palms against her eyes. "Sorry. Sorry, I just can't stop crying—"
Touka lurched towards her, the bandages around her arm red. She dropped to her knees in front of Hina and yanked her into a tight hug.
Hide didn't know what possessed him, but his hand moved on its own to pat her head. With his other hand, he ran his fingers through his hair. "Forget it, Hina. I was just thinking out loud—"
"No," Touka interrupted him, softer than he'd ever heard her. She squeezed Hina tighter. "It's a good idea. But she should stick to wigs. Hair dye is to... permanent. I'll stick one of my wigs in paint or something."
Hide should've left it at that and waited to talk about it more when they were alone. But he couldn't. She was right, but—
"Wigs are a temporary fix," he said. "But this situation isn't. She should get used to wearing a disguise for a long time. Being able to take it off the second you get home somewhat defeats the purpose. What if people come over and she forgets to put it on?"
Touka was quiet, muffling Hina's sobs against her uniform. "You're the worst, half-ass." But she didn't offer a counter argument.
Hide just shrugged.
.
.
.
Hide looked up at the shelves of hair dye, standing at the back of a convenience store Touka had pointed him towards. It was one of the larger ones, and more like a small supermarket.
He resisted the urge to scratch his head, wondering why there were so many brands.
Her payment for convincing Hina to dye her hair was that he had to get the dye himself. He got why. His description might end up in some bored investigator's report, but what was suspicious about a guy with yellow-orange hair getting hair dye of the same color?
Hide eyed the boxes for another second before he gave up and pulled out his phone, wondering if it was paranoid to think they'd find his search history somehow if he looked them up?
He opened the notes app instead, blinked at Nagachika's grocery list, and typed below it, help me out here.
He waited, pretending he had many friends he was responding to until Nagachika peeked around him. "Finally acknowledging I exist, huh?" he asked, hands behind his head.
You were the one too busy brooding to talk, he typed below it.
̶"̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶i̶n̶g̶!̶ ̶T̶h̶i̶n̶k̶i̶n̶g̶!̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶c̶o̶o̶l̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶r̶o̶o̶d̶,̶"̶ Nagachika loudly denied. ̶"̶B̶u̶t̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶a̶l̶k̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶m̶o̶r̶e̶.̶ ̶H̶m̶m̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶p̶p̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶n̶e̶f̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶?̶"̶
Hide underlined the first message in response.
He'd tell him later, but what happened was that Nagachika's old job had been kind enough to give him back-pay for the time he was in the hospital. He hadn't been following the media frenzy around old man Kano's hospital, but apparently, the police station Nagachika had part-time'd at had been told something by the CCG, and realized the massive hit their image would take if the circumstances around his termination became public.
Reputation and image were everything around here. It wasn't much like it had been before he died. The scrutiny probably wouldn't last long, but it was still a stain on them.
Better to send an apology letter, wish him well and a speedy recovery, and pay him off without making it seem like they were doing just that.
It was too bad he'd used most of the money already making his landlord happy. At least he didn't have to worry about the next rent date.
Just the noise. But he was barely in the apartment anyway.
Nagachika glanced at the shelf. ̶"̶W̶h̶y̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶I̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶?̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶n̶a̶t̶u̶r̶a̶l̶,̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶.̶"̶
A schemer like you had to have thought about dying your hair to not stick out so much, he typed.
Nagachika's gaze drifted over to the section of brown hair dye. ̶"̶F̶i̶n̶e̶,̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶e̶,̶"̶ he said, sighing loudly. He reached out to grab a box then stopped, his fingers freezing just before he made contact, or before he wouldn't have made contact.
Hide snagged a few of the boxes as Nagachika dropped his hand like the air had burned him and pretended he didn't see it.
He had just finished paying when the cashier bent down to get a plastic bag beneath the counter and Hide's eyes latched onto the two posters taped to the wall behind him. The first he saw, that was about Hina. The Daughter Ghoul. It was only a sketch of what she'd been wearing and a list of characteristics like hair and eye color, but it still surprised him, because he hadn't expected to see it so soon.
It had only been two days.
The second was about Touka. The Rabbit, it called her.
"Caught your eye, hm?" the cashier asked, putting his stuff in the bag. "It makes me uncomfortable to even look at them. I never used to have to worry about monsters like that when I was your age. Makes me worry for the world my daughter is going to grow up in."
Hide took the bag and feigned confusion. "There are posters all over my University about people that have disappeared. It doesn't feel like it's any more dangerous to me."
"Nearly all of those are from neighboring wards. That's how safe it was here. We were always on the lookout, but it never hit home, you know?" the cashier explained, then gave a subtle glance behind him.
Hide was suddenly aware of the impatient shifting behind him. "Ah, sorry, sorry," he said, turning to give a quick apologetic bow to the woman behind him.
"I'll come back again so I can hear more about how it used to be!" he called to the cashier as he left.
"Hide," a voice above him squeaked, holding onto his head.
Hide stepped around the man in his path without looking, muttering a distracted sorry as he read the message Nishiki had pinned to the group chat a few minutes ago.
1 week. Meet at 3 p.m. to finish set-up. Never say I don't do anything for the club.
"He was looking at us," she bent down to whisper.
"At me, because I'm a rude youngster who's obsessed with his phone," Hide corrected, waving said phone around. "Want to play games on it until we're home?"
He held it up at her, but she didn't take it.
"Suit yourself," he said, reopening the group chat to read the flood of appreciative messages.
Her hair was more yellow than his perfect mix of yellow orange, but they really did look like siblings. The clothes she'd been wearing, well, he didn't know what happened to them, but Touka had given her everything she still had from Ayato.
When Ayato left he'd still been shorter than her. His old shorts were a little big on her but at worst they looked like hand-me-downs that she was still growing into.
The rest of Ayato's stuff had been packed tightly into the backpack she was wearing. They'd timed it so it looked like he'd just picked her up from an extracurricular activity.
Summer camp, maybe. Or some sport? He hadn't really settled on a lie yet.
Helped a lot that it was just him and Touka at the café too. No one would know Hina was gone until it was too late, and no one was going to rip her from the apartment if it made her happy.
Hina was tense, but instead of jumping at everything she was taking it out on his hair.
Hide sent a smiley face both to show everyone that he was still around (if he got one more DM asking if he was missing again because he was silent for too long he was going to lose it), and to remind Nishiki that he was still waiting to be released from the club.
Who was ignoring whose texts now?
"Is that—are you in a club?" Hina asked curiously.
"Nosy," he playfully chastised, but raised the phone to her again in offering.
She hesitated, but eventually took it. He could feel her relaxing as she read the chat and heard her sound out the words she didn't recognize.
"You have festivals at school?" she asked in shock, almost normal volume.
"Not really. It's more like an excuse to throw a party, but in a polite way," Hide explained.
"A party? What's a—" she stopped, tensing up again, and Hide tilted his head back.
She had stopped looking at the phone. Her eyes were locked onto a woman looking in their direction. He knew she was thinking they were caught, which is why Hide immediately stopped and faced the woman.
Hina made an alarmed sound in her throat.
"Sorry, I noticed she was staring," Hide said, pretending to smile sheepishly. "It's your bracelet. My sister's shy, but she loves bracelets. Bonus points that it's pink. Is it something you bought, or a gift...?"
"Oh!" she said, focusing on him, her fingers flying to the circlet around her wrist. She'd been looking at a shop window behind them. "That's sweet. But it was a gift, sorry."
She looked curiously at Hina, who immediately ducked down into the protection of his hair. "You're lucky, little lady. You've got a very good brother," she told her with a soft smile.
Hina didn't move for a few seconds, then gave her a short little wave.
"So cute!" the woman gushed.
"Thanks for your help anyway," Hide said, giving her a quick smile and a wave as he walked away.
Hina turned to watch her, then stared at the people around them. "I'm okay," she seemed to realize.
"Yeah," Hide drawled, holding up his hand for his phone. "Wouldn't have picked you up from practice if you weren't."
People would be looking for a brown-haired girl dressed like one. Not a yellow haired girl dressed like a boy.
Only Investigators would know to see through the disguise, and they didn't usually just... walk around for no reason.
Hina was silent for a long time, and then she leaned down, curving over his head until she was practically in his face. "Big brother!" she began urgently, her eyes bright with an idea.
"Haaa? You don't need to be so loud, you know. I can hear you just fine."
"I—I want to go to the park. Can we go? Please?"
Hide met her eyes. "We're going to be late for dinner," he said, which translated to,
It's fine for now, but let's not push it, yeah?
"Please," she begged, sounding several years younger, suddenly milking this 'little sister' thing to the fullest. She pouted at him, clearly not understanding the meaning behind his words at all.
Hide realized he created a monster by giving her confidence. He scratched his head. "Okay, you little demon."
Her eyes lit up.
.
.
.
Half his attention stayed on Hina while he texted Ken.
He'd reminded her when he put her down, briefly, that humans were squishier and slower than her, and that seemed to mean to her to avoid all the other kids altogether, because she was climbing across the monkey bars by herself, repeatedly.
He watched her stop in the middle and climb on top, but slowly, in a human way, and swing her feet once she was sitting.
She watched the other kids run around, and she looked happy. It was the first time he saw her smile since...
Hide, instead of finishing that thought, added five minutes to the timer he'd set on his phone.
He called Ken, who picked up on the third ring.
"You didn't have to—" Ken started, exasperated.
"Your text felt like a lie. I had to be sure, you know?"
He heard an even deeper sigh on the other end.
"You went to the arcade alone?" Hide asked.
"Why do you have to say it that way?"
"Because last time—"
"Having different and new experiences will help me with my book," Ken said quickly, stopping him from teasing him again. "I've been coming up with ideas and I—I can't be as accurate as I want to be if I never get out of my comfort zone—"
Hide laughed. "Is that how you convinced yourself to go?"
"I'm going to hang up."
Hina had moved to the top of the jungle gym and was... talking to a boy who looked older than her. Hide squinted. Huh.
Maybe it was better that she'd been alone. Wasn't she a little young to be talking to... any gender?
"Sen Takitsu release any new books recently?" Hide asked.
"Takatsuki," Kaneki hissed, like he was a cat that had his tail stepped on.
Hide almost but didn't laugh. It'd give away that he'd done it on purpose.
"But—" Ken sighed. "—no. Is it for...?" he trailed off.
Hide glanced at Hina. He squinted more. She was still talking to that boy, but now there was a girl too. "Yeah."
Wasn't Hina like seven?
"You should bring her here," Ken said suddenly.
"Huh?"
"Your apartment is..." Ken trailed off. "Okay, I don't want to be rude, but there's not much there for... people who like to learn."
"Are you calling me dumb?"
Ken coughed. "No, but I have a... a better environment."
Hide hadn't thought about it, but what would Hina do at his apartment when he was doing club stuff? Or next week, during the Star Festival?
He'd thought that being surrounded by familiar scents and in a place that wasn't as sterile as the meeting room would help enough, but then again he hadn't been a kid in a long time.
He tilted his head back. Would he have to buy toys?
"You can't feed her," Hide finally said. "You don't have the budget."
Ken was quiet. "It's only temporary, right? You can just... bring over what she needs."
It was a bad idea from nearly every angle, except that Ken's bookshelf alone would be able to keep her more entertained and distracted than him and Touka combined.
"Should I make up the couch or not?" Ken asked.
Hide scrubbed a hand down his face. "You're killing me, man."
"I'll clean it."
Hide shook with laughter. "You don't even know where I am."
"Text me when you're close, not on the doorstep," he said, and then hung up.
Hide stared blankly at his phone screen. "Damn him," he muttered under his breath, then stood.
He strolled onto the playground and stood behind Hina until one of her friends (the boy) pointed at him. She turned fast, letting out a little squeak, and then slapped her hands over her mouth, glancing quickly at the other two.
"Time to go, Asahi," Hide said, waving her down.
Hina blinked at him, then seemed to realize he meant her.
"Who's that?" the girl asked, bending down to get a better look at him through the bars
"My—my brother. Sorry, I need to go," Hina said quickly climbing down like he'd embarrassed her. She just as quickly stomped away from him.
Hide waved at the two, then followed her.
"That was mean," Hina huffed once they were off the playground, still ahead of him.
"I didn't do anything," Hide protested.
"I really liked them, and you made me look... dumb!"
"Well, that's your first problem. You're too young to like anyone yet."
"Not like that," she hissed, increasing the distance between them, even though he was sure she didn't know the area.
But it was nice seeing her act like a kid again.