Happy birthday to this fic!
Hide thought Nagachika would have more to say about him getting Ken involved in all this.
But he didn't.
Nagachika had been silent as Hina shyly introduced herself to Ken, hadn't said a word as Ken show to the couch, and still hadn't when Ken got around to showing her his bookcase and Hina forgot to be an introvert as she gushed to him about Sen Takatsuki.
It was only because Nagachika was avoiding eye contact with him that he knew he was unhappy.
You don't realize how crafty he is.
He still didn't really know what that meant.
"Asahi, really?" Ken whispered dryly, sitting across from him. He didn't look up from his book. "Rising sun?"
Hide glanced at Hina. She had finally fallen asleep, pencil poised over a notepad like she'd been about to write down a word she didn't know.
He snuck another glance at Nagachika, but Ken's schoolbag suddenly had all of Nagachika's attention.
Hide leaned back on his hands. "Between the two of us, you're the creative, not me," he answered at a drawl. "She's lucky it wasn't worse."
Rising sun had been the first thing he'd thought of because, well, Japan.
Ken shot him an exasperated look.
Hina was lucky that he hadn't thought swing set or slide first.
"I read this book at Anteiku, remember? I didn't realize how old it was then, but it kept up surprisingly well," Ken said.
He remembered the title. Kitchen. "Is it?"
"It was written in nineteen-eighty-eight," he said, then closed the book. "Has she—has she ever been to school?"
Hide glanced at Hina again and shook his head. He was pretty sure, anyway. She was a quick learner and a fast reader, but the words she struggled with would be easy for someone half her age.
Ken looked sad. "How are you going to...?" he trailed off, swallowed, and tried again. "Do I need to store her meals... in the fridge?" he tried to hide it, but he looked a little sick.
"You sounded much more confident about this on the phone," Hide couldn't help but tease.
"She can stay as long as she needs to," Ken said. "But, ah, ghouls, they—they—does the meat need to be... fresh?"
"Nah."
Ken looked at him with poorly hidden surprise.
Hide tilted his head back. "I should've never told you about Hina."
About Ryoko, specifically, but it didn't feel right throwing that name around with Hina right there.
"But you did."
"But I did," Hide agreed. "Okay, okay, look. The ghouls at Anteiku eat suicide victims. There's no killing involved, and they don't check those spots every day, so the meat usually is..." he trailed off, unable to help the slight, disgusted sound.
The stale meat helped him control himself, and that's all that really mattered about the taste.
"Oh," Ken said, sounding a little relieved.
Hide blinked at him. "What do you mean oh? Did you think they were kidnapping people off the street?"
"I don't know!" Ken said, looking defensive. "You don't tell me anything."
Hide made a disagreeing noise. "I tell you everything. That's why I'm here, regretting every choice I've made."
"Then you're just a bad teacher," Ken shot back. He went silent for a long time before he eventually added, "You just don't want me to see you like I did that day with Nishiki by telling me about the... details."
Hide tilted his head back but didn't deny it.
"I know you're trying to protect me too," Ken said slowly. "But the more time goes by, the more disconnected I feel from the world of humans. You're a ghoul, and you're my best friend. Even if I'm not allowed at Anteiku, Mr. Yoshimura still accepted me as someone trustworthy to know their secret. I used to only want to help them for you, but I realized I don't want them to disappear either. If anything happened to anyone there and I could've done something, even something small..." he trailed off, scratching his cheek. "Touka, she wasn't... nice, but she believed me, a human. Everyone at the cafe treated me like I wasn't any different from them. It was only a few hours, but they made me feel at home."
Hide stared at him. Some things really didn't change.
Maybe if Hide had kept him cut off, Ken would've eventually found a group of humans that accepted him like Anteiku. A club of aspiring or debut authors, probably. After all, that other Ken, Kaneki, had kept living that first time around when he thought Nagachika was dead for so many years.
Kaneki had hidden behind Haise Sasaki, but even when that mask disappeared he still kept going. He married Touka, formed Goat, tried to change things.
Nagachika had ultimately done that by storming the CCG with ghouls, but Kaneki had moved on.
Maybe that was what Nagachika thought would happen before that morning Hide stumbled up to Ken's door and puked all over his neighbor's plants.
Kaneki would've tried to cling to him, but eventually he'd have kept going too.
Sorry, Nagachika, really.
Not that Nagachika could hear him, or had been able to see his thoughts or memories since the moment after their minds, or souls, or whatever, got shoved together and his will to live had expelled Nagachika out of his own body.
"—Hide?"
Hide blinked up at Ken, realizing he'd been staring blankly at the table.
Ken looked worried. "You—are you okay?"
Hide waved his worry away. "I'm fine. Just didn't expect you to get so sappy suddenly. Think you short-circuited my brain."
Ken looked exasperated again. "I don't know why I was worried about you." Even as he said it, Hide could hear in his voice that he knew it was more than that, but let it go.
One day Nagachika was going to find a way to strangle him in his sleep, but until then, Hide would keep being the worst person he knew.
How could he let a friendship like this go?
"I still think he told," Sankou whispered to Kiyama.
Behind them, Hide held up his hands in innocence, but only Cain saw it. "I didn't, I didn't," he promised.
He did. He'd warned Ken that morning that the Paranormal Research club was planning to stalk him after their club meeting.
Kiyama scribbled something on a notepad, then looked at where Ken stood near the front of the line, waiting to get his copy of The Black Goat's Egg signed by Sen Takatsuki. It was supposed to be a gift for Hina, because Ken already had a signed copy from her last book signing.
Hide, closer to the back of the line, avoided looking in her direction.
"I don't think he did. Ken Kaneki isn't acting out of the ordinary," Kiyama whispered back, him and Sankou in their own world. "More importantly, he's still not giving us evidence for or against him being a you-know-what. He doesn't go out at night either, so maybe—"
"We don't see him going out at night," Sankou corrected, leaning closer to him. He bent his head towards her as she lowered her voice even more. "We won't always get lucky enough to catch them on only the weekends we do stakeouts."
And didn't that set off a million alarm bells.
Cain snickered at whatever expression Hide was making. "It sounds worse than it is," he said.
"How could that sound better in any context?" Hide whispered, blocking his mouth with his hand so Kiyama and Sankou didn't overhear him.
Cain started to speak, then reconsidered, crossing his arms. "They warned you about your friend because they saw something they thought was off about him, not because they have hard evidence. I know they told you that, but they don't turn to the CCG until they have evidence that can't be misunderstood. It's not better, but following—"
"Stalking," Hide deadpanned.
"—following him around means they're being thorough. You should be more worried if they don't act like this."
Hide stared blankly at him. "You're using a lot of they's for someone also in the stalking club."
Cain shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a busy guy. I can barely make time for the club as is, and plus they're a better machine without me. I'm still too new. It's like they have to keep remembering I'm there."
Hide glanced at the back of their heads and, yeah, he could see that.
The line slowly shuffled forward. Quiet, excited whispering broke out all around him.
Hide watched Ken hand his book to Sen Takatsuki. They spoke for a few seconds before she smiled and signed the cover page.
Hide, master of subtlety, pretended to suddenly need to check that his sneakers were tied as Ken bowed and turned to leave, and Ken, to his credit, stared at his phone instead of looking directly at where he was ducking down.
Cain coughed into his fist to hide a laugh, but Hide shouldn't have even done that much, because neither Kiyama nor Sankou were paying attention.
Hide popped up. "Uh, shouldn't we follow him?"
Kiyama blinked back at him. "We'll catch up with him later. Sankou is a fan of Takatsuki too," he said.
"Oh." Hide noticed then that Sankou was holding tightly onto a book with both hands. She must've taken it from Kiyama's bag, because she didn't have it before.
Under different circumstances, she'd probably get along with Ken.
Hide didn't shuffle forward with the rest of the line. He hadn't expected to have to actually approach Sen Takatsuki, but when Kiyama shot him a curious glance, he forced his legs to move.
Cain took a box of candy out from his jacket pocket, pulled out a sugary-looking stick, and stuck the end in his mouth. He held the box out to Hide without looking. "Want one?"
"Dude," Hide said immediately in disapproval. "We're in a bookstore."
Cain blinked at him.
"What?"
"We used to sneak candy like this back in high school all the time. Not here, but," he shrugged, his tone unreadable, tilting the box back towards himself. "But it wasn't that memorable. Just another thing that happened."
Hide put his hands in his pockets, saying nothing, having nothing to say.
Cain ate the first stick and pulled out a second as the line moved forward. "Guess only one of us has changed since then," he said absently. "I still feel the same, like no time has passed at all."
The line moved forward.
Sankou handed her book over and bowed. "I'm Sankou. I'm a big fan, Ms. Takatsuki. It's an honor."
"That's San-kou, right?" Eto asked. Her voice was high and lilting, unlike her real, deeper voice.
"I—yes," Sankou stumbled to say.
Eto smiled. "Thank you for supporting me," she said, signing her fake name.
Hide said something to Cain, a joke about how polite Sankou suddenly was that he instantly forgot, but didn't hear his response, because Eto lifted her gaze and looked directly at him.
Eto ignored Sankou's stuttering compliments and said, with a friendly smile, "You look nervous. Is this your first time at a book signing?"
Hide wished he'd wandered off to look at the shelves until they were done. "Yeah," he said nervously, playing into it. "I've never seen a real author up close. You're not an idol, but it still feels like I'm meeting a big celebrity. That's weird, right?"
"Not at all! It's cute!" she said, folding her hands under her chin. Sankou, Kiyama, and Cain all looked at him. "Which of my works do you like best, if you had to pick."
Hide felt like she was looking right through him. But how? She wasn't supposed to know yet... was she?
"Monochrome Rainbow," he said. He knew enough about it from Hina to reliably answer any question about the major plot if he had to.
Eto smiled and said, "I like that one a lot too."
Sankou's book sat forgotten on the table.
Eto glanced at his empty, bookless hand. "I don't see a book with you, but I can sign your hand if you'd like?"
"Uh, okay," Hide said, moving closer until he stood next to Sankou, feeling like the entire bookstore was staring at him. He gave her his hand.
Eto took his fingers, picked up her pen, and scribbled her signature onto his palm. "What's your name?"
"It's Hide, Ms. Takatsuki."
"To Hide," she read aloud as she wrote. "Make sure to bring a book next time, okay?"
"I will," Hide promised, holding his hand to his chest, trying to sound starstruck.
Eto didn't respond. She only smiled again as she finally gave Sankou her book back and the next person in line took their place.
Nerima Station. 9 a.m.—
Hide blinked blearily at Touka's text, then tossed the phone away from him and rolled over, tugging the sheet over his head as it dinged again.
It was probably a threat to not be late.
He groaned and closed his eyes.
.
.
.
Leaning forward on a bench, Hide rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He was on time, but Touka was late.
He should've slept in.
He was nodding off when she nudged his leg. "Yo, Touka—" he said, starting to yawn.
"Shut up," she shoved a plastic bag in his lap. "Find somewhere to change and put that on."
Hide blinked up at her, stopped, and blinked again. She looked older. She was wearing square glasses, had her hair brushed out of her face, and a dress shirt and a skirt. She looked like a receptionist.
"Uhhh," he said.
"Stop staring, half-ass," she said through her teeth, and he realized she was embarrassed. "Don't mess those clothes up. They're on loan."
Hide looked at the bag and suddenly knew what this was about. Touka was going to tell the CCG a false tip about Hina.
"Fine, fine," he yawned again, standing. "But whatever this is, you owe me."
Hide found a bathroom to change in and tried to be quick. It was still awkward, especially when the stalls were full and he had to shuffle out of his clothes in front of the sinks, but he managed it.
It wasn't a full suit, but a white dress shirt and black pants. He looked professional.
...he also wondered how Touka knew his exact size.
"Okay," she said as he came out of the bathroom, his clothes stashed away in the bag. "Hand it over and let's go."
Hide didn't. "You have to tell me what the outfits are for first."
Touka went to put her hands on her hips but stopped herself before she could ruffle her skirt. "We're going to ask for internships at the CCG's branch office, remember?"
"Ah," he said, rubbing the back of his head. He needed to be sure, so he could mentally prepare himself if he was wrong. "Forgot that was today."
She turned around. "Come on. The later we arrive, the less chance they'll even let us apply."
"Right."
.
.
.
Hide resisted the urge to put his hands in his pockets as Touka jotted fake names onto the forms she'd been given, absently unfolding and refolding the cuff of his sleeve.
For a branch office, the building was huge.
If he didn't know what it felt like to be surrounded before, he did now. There were investigators everywhere.
"Have a seat over there. Someone will be with you shortly," the receptionist said, pointing to a set of couches.
Hide followed Touka to a seat.
"Let me do all the talking," she said under her breath.
Hide glanced at her, then nodded sharply instead of speaking.
Touka looked away so he wouldn't catch her smile.
"Hello," a man said in mild disinterest, looking down at their forms on a clipboard as he sat across from them. He was dressed in a suit but didn't have the overcoat of an investigator. "I'm Osa, with the intelligence department—"
"I want to know what the CCG is doing to keep us safe," Touka harshly interrupted him.
"Ma'am—"
"This ward used to be safe! But now there seem to be more and more ghouls popping up every day on the news. Doesn't that mean you people aren't doing your jobs?" she asked, raising her voice.
Osa looked tired. "We're doing everything we can—"
"No, you're not. We can't even go to the office anymore without seeing a news report about a new, dangerous ghoul lurking around. First was that poor woman who was left unrecognizable after she was attacked, and if that wasn't terrifying enough, now there's some little kid ghoul on the loose—"
"Please, ma'am, we're aware that the public may not feel as protected with the exaggerations made by the media," he began quickly, trying desperately to calm her, because she was starting to make a scene. "But rest assured that these ghouls will be exterminated soon. Highly skilled investigators from the main office arrived recently as an extra layer of security, so when I say that we're doing everything we can, you can be assured that I mean it."
Hide had schooled his expression into something stern and upset, but when he looked at Touka, and thought he caught the ghost of a smirk, he realized something.
She hadn't come here to give a false tip. She came here to pry information out of them.
"Oh? Is that right? I'm just supposed to take your word for it?" Touka asked. "I want to meet one of these so-called skilled investigators."
What Hide heard was,
I want to see the faces of the people I need to kill.
But even to Hide, it felt like an overstep, like she was pushing a little too far.
"Oh hello," a voice off to the side said, and Hide looked at the white-haired man shuffling through the RC gate towards them. "I'm Mado, one of the highly skilled investigators you wanted to see. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation—not that you were being quiet about it, mind you."
Hide stiffened a little, and Touka saw him, going suddenly silent.
"Oh?" Mado asked, standing behind Osa. "Cat got your tongue? They're always so brave until confronted, don't you think, Osa?"
"Right, well," Osa stood, shoving the forms to Mado. "I'm sure you can handle it from here, Investigator Mado."
"Hey, wait a minute—"
Osa didn't look back as he quickly walked away.
Mado paused, then looked down at the forms he was holding. "Hm, well, let's talk privately inside, shall we? Since you have so many concerns about the CCG's methods."
Touka stood. "I'm sorry, but we only came here on our lunch break. We have to get back to the office, so—"
"Oh, I insist," Mado interrupted her, smiling. "Surely you can spare another minute?"
"We really, really can't—"
"I think it in your best interest," Mado began, coming around the couch and lowering his voice. "If you at least come with me through the RC gate. You made such a ruckus, you see, but now, curiously, it doesn't seem like it's me you're so resistant towards—"
"That's an RC gate?" Hide asked.
Mado's full attention turned to him. "Yes."
"And if I go through it, we can clear up the misunderstanding here? We only wanted to file a complaint, but it's escalated—"
"The answer is yes," Mado interrupted him. He gestured at the RC gate. "After you."
Touka grabbed his arm as he stood. "They—they can't do this," she stuttered, eyes wide. "We—we haven't done anything but raised concerns—we have a right to be upset—"
Hide gently pulled his arm free. "It's fine," he said, and then strolled towards the gate.
"Wait—"
She fell silent as he walked through it. Hide went around and back through again for good measure. When he turned around, Mado was frowning in confusion.
Hide hooked a thumb at the gate. "Is that convincing enough—"
"Oh, Mr. Nagachika," a voice behind him said. "It's been a while, hasn't it? What are you doing here?"
Shinohara. Wait... Shinohara?
Hide turned around. Shinohara stood just behind him, looking curiously at Touka.
"What are you doing here, Shinohara?"
"That's Mr. Shinohara to you," he said, but it sounded like an automatic response. "And I..." he blinked. "I work here?"
"You know this one?" Mado asked, frown deepening.
Shinohara looked above Hide at Mado. "Yes, sort of," he said, looking sheepish. "He's a friend of Juuzou."
Since his professional act was now pointless, he laced his fingers together behind his head. "Where is Juuzou, Shinohara? Aren't you partners?"
Shinohara looked at the ceiling as if searching for strength. "I was going to look for him now. Do you want me to pass along a message?"
Hide shook his head. "I'm good."
"I do hate to interrupt... whatever this is, but if you knew Investigator Shinohara, why didn't you simply request him beforehand?" Mado asked.
Hide looked at Shinohara. "You're not from the 20th, Shinohara?"
Mado didn't look settled by his question, eyeing the RC gate like it had offended him.
"Let me see those forms, Mado," Shinohara said instead of answering the question, walking over to take them.
Touka hadn't moved, her eyes flitting between him and the Investigators.
Mado wordlessly handed them over and Shinohara held them up to his face, scanned them, and then blinked a few times.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Should I ask why you lied about, well, everything, on your forms?"
Mado looked way too interested in his answer.
"Oh. It's because I'm not supposed to be here, Shinohara," Hide lied again without a moment's hesitation. "At my school, I'm in a club. The Festival Committee. We're supposed to be setting up for a festival tomorrow, but uh, I ditched and came here with Touka instead. It'd be a real pain for me if I was contacted for a follow-up with people around—you do that here, right—?"
"Stop," Shinohara said. "I regret asking."
"So... they're clear then, Shinohara?" Mado asked, not listening to him anymore either.
Shinohara looked at Touka for a long time, then said, "They're troublemakers, but... yes, they're fine."
"Alright," Mado said like he couldn't be more disinterested in them anymore. "They're in your hands then."
Mado spun around without waiting for a respond and left, mumbling about wasted time.
"Your first name is Hideyoshi, if I'm remembering correctly?" Shinohara asked, unfazed by Mado.
"Ah, yeah, but everyone calls me Hide—"
"Do me a favor, don't do this again. I don't think I'll ever understand your or his sense of humor, but pulling a prank here is crossing a line," he said, shaking his head.
Hide blinked. Shinohara thought he was pulling a prank?
Well, considering how they met...
"I'm not that bad," Hide denied. "Touka really did want to file a complaint."
Shinohara turned to her and she stiffened. "I already did," she said quickly. "With Mr. Osa."
"Oh, that shouting was you. I see," Shinohara said, his tone forced neutral. He turned back and said, sighing, "Don't tell Juuzou I told you this, but he... he hasn't had an easy life. I'm not approving of what you get up to with him, but Juuzou isn't known to have positive interactions with anyone. Do you know why I'm telling you this?"
Hide blinked again. "No, sir—"
"Don't call me sir. You don't mean it," Shinohara said wryly. "I'm telling you this because I'm going to pretend I didn't see either you or these—" he shook the clipboard. "— today, just this once, because of your association with Juuzou."
Oh. Huh.
"Now get out of here," Shinohara said before he could think about that.
"Okay," Hide said. He immediately walked over to Touka and took her frozen body by the arm. He wasn't going to push their luck. "Later, Shinohara!"
Touka let him usher her out of the building without a word, which told him how shocked she was. She eventually stopped, forcing him to stop too. "You're friends with a dove?" she hissed so quietly he barely heard her.
Hide rubbed the back of his neck. "Guess so."
"From before, or...?"
"After the accident," Hide told her.
Are you insane?"
"Not yet," Hide said, grinning lazily as she glared at him. "But for making Mado forget all about making you go through that gate, you have to teach me how to fight on your next day off."
"What?"
"That's what you owe me."
"Whatever," she said, spinning around. "By the way, how'd you do that? With the gate?"
"I'm not really sure," he lied. "I took a chance. I wasn't always like this, so I thought I still had enough human left in me to pass. I don't think very many different people end up in a situation like that."
Touka blinked back at him. "You risked our lives on a chance?"
"That Investigator wasn't going to let it go," he defended himself.
Touka sped up, leaving him behind, but under her breath he thought he heard a muttered 'thanks'.
Nagachika only had one outfit for festivals, a dark blue yukata that made his lower legs feel too exposed.
Hide was on campus just after 3 p.m., not because he was eager to help out, but mostly so he could linger around Nishiki as he helped set up booths.
"He's never letting you out of the club, dude," Nagachika told him, the first words he'd spoken to him in days.
Hide didn't let his lack of faith win.
A fake bamboo tree was set up in the middle of the small 'festival', and the other members were already tying colorful pieces of paper to the branches. Looking at it, Hide was sure either Nishiki now owed the art department a debt or they'd owed him one.
Each 'booth' was offering different paper decorations to add to the tree. Nishiki, seemingly, didn't have the pull to get permission for food, or even booths with simple games. But Hide could admit it was impressive how much was done.
Colorful streamers had even been tied to the corners of tables and benches around the perimeter of the small festival.
"Quit following me, Nagachika," Nishiki eventually said without a single look his way.
"I'm showing my appreciation to our club leader," Hide said nonchalantly, also not looking at him. Instead, he was looking over a table of paper kimonos.
Nishiki ignored him.
"Hey, Nishiki, what do these represent?"
Nishiki blinked at them, then at him. "You can't be serious."
"We don't have festivals here, or at least not like in the other wards, so how would I know?"
Nishiki blinked again. "Pick up a book sometime, Nagachika."
"They represent wishes to not get sick and to avoid diseases," Kimi said, looping her arm through Nishiki's. Her yukata was the color of the sun. "This one—" she held up an origami purse in her other hand. "—is for success in business, or in school. It's the one I'm putting up."
"Where'd you come from?" Nishiki asked softly.
Hide made a gagging noise and Nishiki scowled at him.
"I know I'm early, but I'm not the only one. People are really excited for this. You did a really good job," Kimi answered.
He started to smile, then remembered Hide was still there and wiped it from his face.
"Yo, Kimi," Hide greeted. Her tone might've been friendly, but her arm was tight around Nishiki's. "Can you tell your boyfriend to stop keeping me on the committee against my will?"
Nishiki rolled his eyes. He moved closer, slowly, bringing Kimi with him, and then he put his free hand on Hide's shoulder and leaned close. "I'm making things easier for both of us," he said quietly. "Use that thick skull of yours. As long as you're on the committee, no one will give you a second look for coming to see me. What would an underclassman in a different department need with me if you were out? I thought about it, but looking at it like that, I bet you suddenly have a different opinion on staying."
Hide... hadn't considered the social aspect at all. Still. "I'm not interested in playing club member forever."
Nishiki leaned even closer, his arm fully on his shoulder. "And yet you're here, playing club member."
Hide glared at him.
"Thanks for the tip about Nakano by the way. Got myself a nice little corner by playing weak. You don't have to worry about me looking for territory here. I'm not interested anymore."
"Where'd you find the time? You're always in your office."
"Weekends exist, dumbass," Nishiki said, then patted him hard on the shoulder as he moved away. "I'm done being head of the committee for the rest of the night," he told Kimi. "Let's just enjoy ourselves."
Kimi gave Hide a little wave, but Nishiki ignored him completely as he steered her away.
Nishio Nishiki had territory in the 14th ward. Hide stood there, not knowing what that meant. He didn't know anything about the ward, except that Helter Skelter was there.
Hide wandered over to a booth that had papers to write wishes. It was already crowded, even though they were technically still half an hour from 'opening'. He eventually picked up yellow slip, an offered pen, and then sat at the nearest empty table, looking at it.
He didn't know what to wish for. He couldn't exactly put,
I wish not to become a dragon at 23.
Hide didn't know why he'd taken a paper at all.
He looked at the growing crowd around him. Ken wouldn't show. He'd planned to, but then the whole thing with Hina happened, and he didn't want to leave her alone. Hide had even encouraged him to stay home, that he'd be fine by himself.
He looked at the blank slip again. He spread it flat on his knee and wrote, I wish to keep my friends.
It was stupid, but Hide still got up and fit it through a string on a branch.
"Hide!" a breathless Sankou said urgently, suddenly from right next to him.
Hide glanced at her and stopped, lowering his hands. Her eyes were wide in panic, and her green yukata looked ruffled, like she'd run here.
"It's Cain and Kiyama," she said in a rush. "I need—help me stop them. Please. We found a ghoul and they—they plan to use themselves as bait to keep it busy until the CCG gets here. On our way here we saw—it was feeding on someone. We didn't get a good look, but the victim looked like someone wearing a yukata. They think it might kill another festival go-er before the CCG arrives—"
"Where?" Hide interrupted her. It didn't involve him, they were idiots for even having the idea, but he didn't want them dead. If it came down to it, at least he could hold up better than they would.
Even if he still couldn't activate his kakugan at will.
Sankou looked grateful. She grabbed his hand and started walking fast, then running.
"At first we got away before it could notice us," she said breathlessly. "When I left they were still making the plan. We should still have time—we can knock them out. I can get Cain and you—you get Kiyama."
She pulled him down another side street. Hide felt lost, but he'd only made an effort to memorize the route to his apartment, to Ken's place, Anteiku, and now, the CCG's branch office.
It was quiet except for the sounds of their footsteps and Sankou's pants.
She turned left, leading him down a narrower street. It was darker and the was road less maintained. There was only one streetlamp in the middle for the whole street, shining a pool of yellow light on part of the ground and part of the wall.
Hide looked around, but he didn't see them. "Sankou—?"
She let go of his hand. Her momentum carried her a few more steps before she stopped. "I'm sorry—"
Hide felt a hard jab at his back, and in the same instant, a metallic snap. He heard it clattered to the ground as he quickly turned—
—and saw Cain, staring down at his broken knife.
Hide's eyes widened at him, then down at the broken end of the knife. "What did you just try to do?" he asked in disbelief.
Cain was suddenly pale, suddenly clammy, not lifting his eyes from the knife.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sankou was shouting, her hands pressed to her face.
"No," Cain said suddenly, shaking his head. "No, you can't be. How could you be...?" he trailed off.
Hide felt like his thoughts were sluggish, like he was wading through honey to think, because Sankou...?
She brought him here to be killed?
"No, it doesn't—I would've known if you were a monster." Cain thrust the knife at him again, so suddenly that Hide's body started to move back to instinctively dodge.
He felt a sudden rush throughout his body as the broken blade neared his stomach and an alertness that felt like a hit of adrenaline, and then Cain's hand wasn't there anymore.
Between one blink and the next, from his elbow down to his fingers, was gone.
The rest of the knife clattered down behind Hide, and he heard the wet splat of blood as Cain's arm hit the ground.
But he hadn't done it.
Cain stared down uncomprehendingly at the empty space where his arm had been, and Hide took a step back from the blood spurting from the limb, trying to avoid the scent even as spots of red hit his yukata.
And then someone landed next to him.
Hide turned his head as Cain held his arm to his chest, trying to stem the bleeding, seeing the flash of a bloody dagger first, before his eyes landed on the person crouching.
"Juuzou?" Hide asked, mind reeling.
"That's me!" Juuzou chirped, standing.
Hide was speechless.
Cain dropped to one knee, blood covering his black clothes and pooling on the ground beneath him. He looked up at them, seemingly not paying attention to his arm anymore. "You were one of them the whole time?" he asked, and then laughed to himself. "Most of them aren't like you, you know that? They can't even bring themselves to pretend to eat food, but you..." he trailed off, almost hysterical. "I can't believe this is happening. I did everything right, I—" he stopped, looking intensely behind them. "You lied. You lied. I was wrong, but you told me—you think you got me? Go ahead and kill me! No one will think I'm anything but an innocent, torn to pieces by monsters—"
"Oh, huh," Juuzou interrupted him, bending down to get a better look at the blood. "You're human? Whoops! I really thought you were a ghoul, so, my bad."
Hide had turned to stare at Sankou as he spoke, because what he said, that meant—
Sankou still hadn't turned around, but her shoulders were hunched.
—she was a ghoul, and she'd lured him here because she'd known he was one, too.
When...? When did she—
He felt a finger poke his cheek, just under his eye.
"Oh, wow, you only have one eye! That's weird," Juuzou said, leaning in his face.
Hide stared at him for a second, his brain far behind his body, still catching up from Cain trying to kill him.
He only had one... eye...?
Hide jerked back suddenly, tripping over himself, and fell.
His eye, his eye, his eye.
He pushed himself back fast, expecting to feel a quinque steel dagger in his chest, or his neck, or his head at any moment, panic clogging his throat.
He raised a hand over his eyes, like he could make Juuzou forget what he saw if he couldn't see it, and felt a hand grab his wrist and pull it down.
His chest was heaving as he met Juuzou's blank gaze. "Are you afraid of me because of what I did?" he asked, just as blank.
What?
Hide stared at him, but Juuzou only stared back.
"...aren't you going to kill me?"
Juuzou blinked. Ohhh," he said in understanding, releasing him. "You're silly," he said cheerfully, reaching out to give Hide's head a few too-forceful pats. "If I was gonna kill you, I would've done it a looong time ago."
"What?"
There were puzzle pieces moving in Hide's head, fitting into a full picture he didn't think he wanted to see.
"You knew I was a ghoul?" Hide asked hoarsely.
"Mhm!"
"Why did you let me live?"
"Weeell," Juuzou began, tapping his chin. "It was because Mr. Shinohara let you go."
Hide stared at him again and suddenly understood everything. Juuzou had known he was a ghoul before they'd met.
Juuzou hadn't bumped into him to rob him, but to get himself attacked by a ghoul.
Hide remembered the attack on an Investigator that Kiyama and Sankou had talked about in the club room. That had been Juuzou.
He'd read it happening, what felt like a lifetime ago.
Juuzou knew he couldn't just kill anyone he thought was a ghoul just based on his thoughts, so he set himself up as a tasty human walking alone at night.
Juuzou was... he was supposed to smell really good, wasn't he?
But Hide had a bad nose. What had Hide looked like that night, stumbling around, half out of his mind from the lack of sleep?
Hide's stomach twisted. He turned away from Juuzou and heaved, despite there being nothing in his stomach to throw up. He just felt sick suddenly.
He'd packed his last two meat squares in a plastic container, taken them to Ken's place, and given them over to Hina two days before. He should've asked for another package already, just to get it over with, but he hadn't, convincing himself that he should get used to feeling hungry anyway, since he couldn't rely on being well-fed forever.
Hide didn't know why the thought was suddenly funny, or if everything that happened in the last five minutes had broken him, but he started laughing hard, feeling tears in his eyes.
How long had Cain wanted to murder him...?
He was only still alive because Juuzou didn't understand people. Hide could see his thought process clearly.
If he had pegged Hide as a ghoul from the beginning, how could Shinohara not know? How could someone who was supposed to have more experience than him hunting ghouls be fooled by his human act?
It didn't occur to Juuzou that Shinohara didn't have the sense for ghouls that he did. That he'd grown up around humans, not ghouls.
Shinohara could've taken him in, but he didn't, so that meant he didn't care to kill Hide, right?
He remembered Juuzou telling him about how Shinohara lectured him at school, and remembered Juuzou standing in front of that message board.
Juuzou was protecting the public, like Shinohara wanted, by checking in on the local ghoul and making sure no one had recently gone missing.
What would he have done if there had been a missing person on that board that wasn't from another ward?
Hide felt sicker.
" ̶"̶O̶h̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶w̶r̶o̶n̶g̶,̶"̶ Nagachika said suddenly, sounding apprehensive. ̶"̶I̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶A̶n̶t̶e̶i̶k̶u̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶b̶r̶o̶k̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶a̶p̶a̶r̶t̶m̶e̶n̶t̶.̶"̶
Hide didn't want to, but he understood that too.
Now that he was forced to think about it, no one at Anteiku had ever been subtle about telling him how they felt. Koma had warned him in the middle of a shift. Touka had treated him like a jacket. Yomo had warned him over a dead body.
If they wanted to question how much he was eating, they would've just confronted him.
It was Juuzou who had broken into his apartment. Juuzou who had seen the meat in his fridge.
He heaved again.
̶"̶J̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶I̶'̶d̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶.̶.̶ ̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶g̶o̶n̶e̶.̶"̶
Hide turned his head, wiping his eyes and his mouth, looking at the blood trail leading away from them. Cain had gotten up and ran.
He realized then that Juuzou was still patting his head. Hide shoved his hand away. "What are you doing?" he managed.
Juuzou reached out, to do who knew what, and Hide leaned back, out of reach.
"Mr. Shinohara taught me that when someone is in pain, you're supposed to comfort them," Juuzou said, sounding mystified, looking at his own palm. "But it's not working. I don't get it."
Hide didn't know what to do with that. "Why did you come to Big Girl with us?" he asked, his voice cracking. If it was just about doing his job, then why spend more time with them than he had to?
Juuzou kept his eyes on his fingers. "I like free meals. You should know that already!" he answered, giving him a too-wide smile.
Most of what he'd thought Juuzou wanted from me had been wrong, but Juuzou had let him smack his hand away.
He knew Juuzou could've had a dozen daggers down his arm before he'd even realized what happened, but instead Juuzou hadn't even reacted.
Hide wiped his face clean with the collar of his yukata. He'd have to throw it away anyway.
Why had Juuzou not turned him in after seeing what was in his fridge?
"Aren't you going to go after him?" Hide managed.
"What for?" Juuzou asked back. "He's human. I'm not the police."
"What kind of servant to the public are you?"
Juuzou blinked at him, then stuck out his tongue, but got up. His eyes flicked to Sankou, suddenly ice cold, and Hide shivered.
"Gotta take care of this first—"
He took a step and Hide caught his ankle.
It meant another thing that Juuzou only looked down at him in warning.
"Let him go," Sankou said before Hide could speak, finally turning around. "You're not the first. Cain was the one who did the final blow, but I brought them to him. I played as much a part in their deaths." She squeezed her yukata, ducking his head, her bangs covering her face. "I'm a coward. I knew that if I brought you to him, you'd probably kill him to protect your identity. I didn't know you'd freeze up, but this was the only way I could think to end it."
Hide's eyes widened. How many people...?
She bowed to them. "I know I'm in no position to make requests, but—please allow me to return to the festival. Kiyama—he's waiting for me. I would like to say goodbye at least. I won't resist after. You have my blessing to make me your quinque—"
"Boring!" Juuzou interrupted her, yawning. "I don't know about a festival, but why should I listen to a ghoul?"
She flinched.
"It's not fair," Hide said in her place, not letting go. "She brought me here, but Cain is the one who tried to kill me. But you can't kill him for that, because there are laws against it. You shouldn't kill her either. She shouldn't get a harsher sentence than him just because she's a ghoul. If he's a killer too, it shouldn't matter that he's human."
Juuzou looked blankly at the wall. "Laws," he repeated. "Rules. I don't really care about any of that. I just don't want to get lectured again."
Hide released him and might've fully lost his mind after all when he shoved himself up and got in his way.
Why did Juuzou keep the human meat a secret?
"If Shinohara finds out you didn't tell him I was a ghoul, you'll get more than a lecture," Hide said, his voice shaking.
The point of a dagger was suddenly under his chin, and Hide hadn't even seen him move.
"Don't lie. He already knows you're a ghoul."
"I'm not lying," Hide said, staring at him defiantly. "And even if he did know, he'd still get mad that you didn't tell him about what was in my fridge."
It was Juuzou who broke in. It had to be. If he was wrong, he was dead.
Juuzou stared at him.
"Why didn't you?" Hide dared to ask.
Juuzou just looked at him.
"Why—"
"I don't know."
Hide went silent.
"You've never given me a reason to kill you," he tried to explain. "You're like Mr. Shinohara."
Hide felt shock, but didn't dare move.
"Where'd you get that meat, anyway?" Juuzou asked casually, still pressing the tip under his chin.
"S-Suicide victims," Hide managed.
"Huh."
The dagger disappeared just a quickly as it appeared and Hide stumbled back in relief, rubbing under his chin.
"What's that thing that people say to each other? You owe me?"
Hide shook his head. "This is what you owe me for getting the cops called on us in that corner store."
Juuzou tilted his head. "Fine," he said begrudgingly. He glanced at Sankou again and smiled. "Don't move, or I'll kill you, okay?"
"I'll stay," Sankou promised, squeezing her yukata harder.
Juuzou spun away, humming to himself as he followed Cain's blood and vanished down another road.
They both stared after him for a while, until Sankou finally spoke.
"You defended me. Why?"
Hide sat heavily, still processing what had happened. As he started to calm down, he felt tired, like he'd just finished running a marathon. "Because it sounded like he'd been blackmailing you. If you enjoyed doing this, you wouldn't have apologized."
"I... see," she said quietly. "I don't want to die with an unpaid debt, so I won't tell anyone about your eye."
Hide gestured at his face. "Is it still like that?"
She looked surprised. "No?"
Hide rubbed his eyes. "If you make the doves think you have information, they won't kill you."
Her eyes widened a little more.
"How long have you known I was a ghoul?" Hide asked.
"The day we approached you. It was your backpack. I thought you had recently killed, which was why I picked you," she said apologetically. "Kiyama wanted to watch you more, but I—I convinced him that warning you was urgent. I don't kill people. Cain managed to get a picture of me with a package from a cafe called Anteiku and, yes, he blackmailed me. We taught him how we do our investigations, and he used it against me."
Hide blinked. Anteiku, huh? "About the club, how many ghouls have you helped kill?"
She let her bangs fall over her eyes again. "I..." she trailed off. "I tried to sabotage the club where I could. I tried to get the CCG to write us off permanently, but Kiyama just came up with another way to make them pay attention to our evidence. When I recruited Cain—he was supposed to distract us. Our investigations took a lot longer when we had to walk him through everything too. But instead we made him better at what he did. I don't know how long Cain has been doing... it, but he's gotten away with it for so long because he makes his kills look like they were done by us. We're easy to blame."
Hide subtly glanced at Nagachika.
̶"̶D̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶d̶u̶d̶e̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶u̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶.̶"̶
"The ghoul that attacked your club in high school—Cain would say she inspired him. He would tell me all sorts of things because he wanted a ghoul to praise him after every kill. He thought I'd want to help him too, eventually, because I'm supposed to like killing," she said. "I was never what he wanted, and didn't want to be, and that made him... reckless."
If Cain had been inspired back in high school, that meant he'd been doing it for at least two years.
"Everyone's a killer if you think about it," Juuzou said cheerfully, emerging from the dark. "Even babies kill their mothers sometimes—"
"Juuzou—"
"Whaaaat?"
"...where's Cain?"
"I left a card," Juuzou said dismissively.
Hide blinked.
"I called the police from a pay phone and left one of Mr. Shinohara's business cards in his pocket," Juuzou explained. "And I tied up his arm too. Wouldn't want him bleeding out before the police picked him up."
Hide shook his head. "You should do something nice for Shinohara for all the headaches you give him."
"He gives me headaches too."
Hide didn't say anything more about his relationship with Shinohara and instead asked, "How long were you following me, Juuzou?"
"It's my day off, so, since I woke up!" he answered, just as cheerful. "Mr. Shinohara told me to have fun, so I am!"
"Right," Hide said, feeling like he'd used up all his emotions for the year.
"My turn! Why are you suddenly calling me Juuzou?"
"I saw Shinohara yesterday," Hide said. "He called you that."
"I see, I see!"
Sankou fidgeted, trying to make herself smaller to not be noticed by Juuzou.
Hide looked at the roof that Juuzou had dropped down from, unsure if he wanted the answer of how he got up there. "Want to come to the festival?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, aren't you going to let her go back? Might as well have some fun while it's still going on."
Juuzou didn't acknowledge that. "Is that why you're dressed like that?"
"Yeah."
"Do I need to wear that?"
"Nah. I'll take the heat if my club has a problem with it."
"I cut that guy's arm off, and now you're asking me to hang out. See? You're weird. Like your eye!" Juuzou said, spinning his dagger to point at him.
"You can't go. You're covered in blood," Sankou quietly pointed out, avoiding eye contact.
Hide blinked down at the dried, dark red splatters. It was a miracle that Cain had been able to run at all. He scrubbed a hand down his face. "I can change," he suggested. "And meet you?"
"I don't even know what you're talking about. I'm not going alone. I'll just go with you," Juuzou said.
"What about...?" he trailed off, glancing at Sankou.
"Oh, I don't think she'll run," Juuzou answered happily. "She reeks of fear. And if I have to hunt her down, I won't be nice about it."
Hide scratched his cheek. "Hm, okay."
Sankou looked paler, but she managed to nod. "I'll be good, I promise."
.
.
.
If, three months ago, someone told Ken he'd be sitting across from an Investigator while a ghoul slept on his couch, he probably would've politely excused himself, then never spoken to that person again for not being right in the head.
Ken held a coffee mug in between his hands, using the warmth to keep himself calm.
He was, maybe, just a tiny bit addicted to caffeine. But that wasn't his fault.
He glanced at where Hide had passed out on the floor, leaving him alone with Investigator Suzuya, looking like he'd lost a fight with his yukata as he tried to take it off. Ken didn't know how he'd managed to fall in that deep of a sleep so fast. He envied him.
When he'd asked Hide what happened, Hide had just assured him the blood wasn't his (the jerk) and asked if he had any festival clothing he could borrow.
"Guess we're not going to that festival," Suzuya said, snacking on the spare candy Ken had.
He'd bought them for Suzuya, but then he hadn't shown up after the day they met.
"Could I ask what rank you are, Investigator Suzuya?" Ken tentatively asked, afraid to offend him again. But didn't look that much older than them.
"Bleh, don't call me that. It's Juuzou," Juuzou said around a rope of licorice. "And, yeah, you can ask."
Ken lifted his mug to his mouth and quietly blew on his coffee, because Juuzou hadn't answered and he didn't want to ask again. "You can call me Ken, if you want."
"So, how many humans know Hide is a ghoul?" Juuzou asked casually, stretching out his legs.
"Just you and me," Kaneki answered. "About the festival, ah, it won't be the same, but I have paper. We can still write our wishes and I'll burn them at midnight."
"Wishes?" Juuzou asked.
"Wishes to do well in school, or your job, or wishing for good health," Ken tried to explain. "It's tradition to burn them so they come true. Or to float them down a river, but that's harder to do here."
"People are weird," Juuzou responded.
Ken paused. He put down his coffee, stood, and went to his school bag, pulling out a notebook and a pencil before he returned to the table.
"The wishes are done like this," Ken started to explain, opening to a blank page.
I wish for good health for my friends, he wrote as a quick example, then turned the notebook towards Juuzou.
Juuzou only gave his words a brief glance, then shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat," he said, taking the pencil. He tapped it against his cheek. "What's your name again?"
"...Ken Kaneki?"
Juuzou scribbled something, then pushed the notebook away from him, unwrapping a cherry candy.
Ken tentatively took it. Juuzou's handwriting was bad and almost unreadable. It took him almost a minute to make it out.
I wish for happiness for Ken Kaneki.
Juuzou had just copied what he wrote but added his name. Still, it meant something that the Investigator had listened to him at all.
Ken wrote, on a separate page, I wish for happiness for Investigator Suzuya.
He tore each wish out of the notebook, folded them both into squares, and put them aside until midnight.
"She's a ghoul too, right?" Juuzou asked suddenly, looking around him at Hina, another licorice hanging from his mouth.
Ken froze, then cursed himself for the obvious reaction. "W—What?"
Juuzou waved a hand at him, like he was waving the question away. "Never mind, never mind. You're too jumpy. I'll ask Hide when he wakes up."
.
.
.
"I don't think they'll burn them until tomorrow," Kiyama thought aloud, looking at all the colorful strips hanging from the fake bamboo tree. "It's too late to start a fire now. I don't think the school would be happy."
"I wanted to see them do it," Sankou said, standing close to him, not quite hiding her disappointment.
"We can still do it," he said, giving her a little smile. "Just on our own, like with everything else, right?"
Sankou started to smile back when she saw white hair out of the corner of her eye, and everything around her suddenly felt muted, the conversations muffled. She turned her head slightly and saw the Investigator Hide had called Juuzou staring at her.
He was standing far enough away to not be noticed by anyone not looking for him.
He'd given her more time than she thought. She thought she'd get half an hour at most, but it had been three.
How generous of him.
"Hey, Sankou, are you listening to me? We should plan out what we're going to do tomorrow. Cain hasn't confirmed that he's coming to the meeting tomorrow, and he was supposed to look over—"
"Can I tell you my wish?" Sankou asked.
"Huh? Yeah, sure, but it's bad luck, isn't it—"
Sankou took his hand, threading her fingers through his, and then she leaned up and kissed his cheek.
He immediately went red. "Sankou?" he asked, his voice much higher.
"That's it," she said, wanting to laugh and cry at the same time. She pulled her hand away. "Gotta go to the bathroom. Wait for me?"
"I—where else would I go?" Kiyama asked. "But—"
Sankou was already walking away from him. She folded her hands in the sleeves of her yukata to hide their trembling.
"Sankou!"
As she neared, Juuzou didn't react to the yelling behind her. He only gave her a too-wide smile.
"Okay, then," Juuzou said happily. "Let's go."