This is a long chapter, 6k words. I'm very sorry for the late update. I had three vacation trips in this month, and I was busy moving out of the country for my job (same company, different country). Believe it or not, it has been a year since I first started writing this fic, and I am very grateful for all the support.

It took me weeks to write this, I sacrificed my day offs to complete this chapter so if you're a silent reader, I'm really thankful if you could let me know what you think about it. Thank you so much.

Special thanks to Vidnyia on Tumblr/AO3 for the proofread :3

How do you explain the definition of true love, the definition of soulmate?

You just... feel it. It feels… right. It feels… complementary. It feels… peaceful.

You don't have any methods or procedures to make that person happy, you just follow the flow, follow your heart, follow your instinct.

And somehow, your heart knows it.

As the time passed by, the feelings became mutual. Two people caring for each other, wanting to make each other's happy, carrying each other's burden, sharing insecurities and vulnerabilities. At the moment, they both seemed selfish with their wishes. But sometimes, it was alright to be selfish.

Especially when one of them was dying, and they just wanted to spend the little time they have together as much as possible.

Trust. Acceptance. Love. They fell together perfectly. As perfect as the wonderful female in his arms.

They said if you loved each other, then you should get married to spend the rest of your life with that person. But the fate was cruel to them. Fate was always cruel. Rest of their lives? How? When one of them was dying- counting seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months before his impending death?

Which was why it was alright to be selfish.

Even if it was only for one year, one short year- or one long meaningful year, depending on how they perceived it, it was alright.

As long as he was home- with her, as long as she was there- by his side, everything would be alright.

They would be alright.

Well, maybe not for him at the moment. Because as of now, he was intoxicated. Figuratively. Emotionally. Erotically. Intoxicated in her lavender scent, in her breathy moans, in her warmth as her skin felt hot yet so smooth under his fingertips, his palms.

His lips instinctively found her neck, gently nibbling on the soft spot there as she arched her neck, allowing him better access to the sensitive flesh. As his hands reached her plump, perky breasts, squeezing them through her velvet dress, a surprised gasp escaped her lips, which he muffled with his mouth immediately.

He sighed in pleasure as their mouths moved together. Their hot breaths mingled, searing his lungs. Her sharp yet velvety tongue stroked his; her fingers traced his lower abdomen under his tunic.

When her hips bucked up against his, causing a spark of pleasure running through his body, his clouded mind snapped back to reality. Quickly, he pulled away from her, eyes widened in shock at what just happened. He panted, catching his breath.

She seemed surprised as well at his sudden action. His eyes appeared unfocused, slowly registering what just happened.

"Kaneki? Why did you stop?" She asked, softly. Too softly, it made his heart ache.

"I- this isn't supposed to happen. I told you, Touka. You should leave."

"I told you I'm staying. You can't change my mind."

He swallowed hard, then shook his head.

"No. It's too risky. If I die- you'll be left alone." His lips clamped together in a firm, thin line as his eyes gazed upon her with concern. "I don't want to make you sad." He said, remembering her words back then. "If you died, I would be very sad."

She flashed him a small smile as she caressed his left cheek, her thumb drawing circles on his cheekbone.

"Then let's make an heir right now." She said it without any hesitation in her sweet, angelic voice- her indigo eyes showing hope and affection towards him.

The fact that she was so willingly offering herself to him left mixed feelings in his heart. He was tempted, especially with their current position, and because his heart really wanted to do this. With her.

But this was wrong.

So wrong.

So selfish.

Her long fingers danced around the front laces of her dress, slowly untying them. His eyes widened in realisation- he needed to stop her. He grabbed her tiny wrists roughly, pinning them to her sides.

His sudden action startled her. But seeing his expressions - horrified, scared, guilty, she just smiled warmly at him.

"Why did you stop me?"

His hands gripping her wrists so tightly he didn't realise he was hurting her. She could feel her pulse in each of her wrist beating harder than usual, but her face showed him no hint of pain or discomfort.

Instead, she waited for his explanation.

"I can't. I don't want to use you to have an heir. It's not right."

"You're not using me, Kaneki. I want this." She emphasized her words by wrapping her legs around him- pulling him closer, making him groaned at the contact and his grip on her wrists loosen up. She could feel him, his mouth breathing out irregular pants as she repeated the motion over and over again.

"Touka, stop." He panted. He looked perturbed, as if he was battling with his inner mind. His heart was telling him to take up the offer to ensure the line of Re, and also because he had wanted to do this with her for quite a while now, but his mind was telling him the harsh future of his wife once he died.

"I can't leave you raising our child alone. That may be my purpose of marrying you, but- I realised how selfish I was. I wasn't considering your feelings at all. I really am a monster, Touka. I'm destroying your life, your future. I'm sorry, Touka. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." His eyes gradually shutting as he muttered those words, but they flickered open when he felt warm hands cupping his cheeks lovingly.

She didn't even say a word, instead, she pulled him down towards her, giving a soft, lingering kiss on his lips.

"I love you. And I love Re. I'll do anything to make both you and Re survive. Mark my words."

"But- what if they kill me during the surgery? You should leave, Touka. I can't promise to stay by your side. I only have one year left. You should find someone to spend your whole life with."

"Kaneki."

Her grip on his cheeks was strong, forcing him to look at her straight in the eyes.

"I'd rather spend one short year with you than fifty years with someone else."

His breath hitched in his throat as she said that. His jaw clenched tightly, guilt started to creep in his veins. What had he done in his life to deserve a kind angel like her? Nothing.

"You will move on, Touka. And you will love your new husband. I'm sure of it. So please-" His eyes begging her. "It's not too late for you to leave." He shifted to pull away from her, but before he could unwrap her legs from him, her arms locked around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss but he stopped her- his elbows resting on the couch- each beside her shoulders, preventing her from doing so.

"I'm not leaving you. I'll stay with you until the end."

"You deserve someone better than me... I don't deserve you. Let me go, Touka."

She simply ignored him. She had enough of him trying to push her away- lying, and hiding what he truly wanted. All this time, he was always holding back. Restraining himself even though their feelings were mutual, even though there were no rules stopping them. But his kisses, his eagerness, his hardening desire proved how much he wanted this. But then again, he was always hesitating in the end.

"Kaneki. For once, can you please be honest with me?"

He didn't answer her, but his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat while he waited for her question.

"Do you- don't you want this? Not because you're dying, not because you want to save your kingdom. I'm asking you- Kaneki Ken, not as a king, but as a man, just a man- my husband, do you- do you want me?" She ended her question with a gulp, her indigo orbs searching for answers within his grey one.

"Touka- I-" A momentary pause slipped between them, the silence was deafening as he struggled for words. Hot tears brimmed in his eyes, his vision blurred and his lips quivering as if he was scared. The fate had always been cruel to him, preventing him from getting what he wanted the most in his life.

Experiencing horrible tortures throughout his childhood by the person who should have loved him the most- he just wanted to be loved, to be needed, to be accepted- as a man. Not because he was a king.

But didn't she say she would stay? Didn't she say she loved him?

Didn't he love her as well?

He did.

So, did he want this?

Of course, with all his heart.

But, was this fair to her?

No.

Not at all.

He swallowed, hard, the lump in his throat felt awfully painful.

"Yes. I- I want this- I want you." He stared at her- in adoration, in guilt, in self-loathing. "If I could, I want to grow old with you. Have children with you. But I can't. I can't, Touka. I'm dying." The tears started to fall uncontrollably from his eyes, his whole body trembled as he sobbed. "I want you- but I'm dying. I can't be selfish and just use you. I'm sorry."

She wiped the river of tears falling down his cheeks. Her right hand was stained with his black tears but that was the least matter she cared about at the moment.

At least, he was being honest with her. She couldn't be grateful enough.

She would be honest with him too. So she kissed him, tasting the salty tears as their lips moved together- though there was less force from his side.

"I want you too, Kaneki. I want you to be selfish. It's alright." She muttered softly. Her hips rolled again, his eyes shut tight as the pleasure spiked through him and this time- despite his better judgment- he ground against her repeatedly, low groans escaped his throat.

"Are you- are you really sure? Do you still want me even though I'm dying?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation in her answer, no trace of regret, or pity. She wanted him, as simple as that. He bit his lower lip so hard, he didn't care if it drew blood.

"There's no going back, Touka. You can still leave if you want to. I'm not forcing you to stay."

"Kaneki." She said it a bit sternly, startling him slightly.

"Y-Yes?"

"I'm yours, okay? I've always been yours. Just take me." Her voice was soft, so soft that it came out like a whisper. The gaze in her eyes was full of love, welcoming, slightly alluring.

It seemed that no matter how much he wanted to avoid this- he couldn't. There was nothing he could do to change her stubborn mind. She would stay, no matter how many times he asked her to leave.

In the end, no matter what, this night- their consummation would take place.

As much as he wanted to make it special- to make it memorable for her, he was actually very, very scared. What if he couldn't give her pleasure? What if he hurt her? What if he ejaculated too soon?

He was suddenly reminded of the scars on his abdomen, thighs, and back as his mother would sometimes whip him with cane or birch, leaving him bleeding and gave him terrible, nasty scars for the rest of his life. She had seen the big scar on his right abdomen, but she had never seen the ones on his back and thighs, they were long and red and hideous.

Touka seemed to notice that he went quiet, not moving- his brows furrowed in concentration but yet he looked so vulnerable, as if he would burst into tears any moment.

"Kaneki? What's wrong?"

"I'm hideous. You- you haven't seen my other scars. Mother- she-"

"Shh…"

She sat up, making him sit up as well- then she embraced him, rubbing his back, whispering soothing words to him like she always did whenever he had awful nightmares.

"You're beautiful, Kaneki."

He pulled away from her, shaking his head vigorously. "I'm not. I told you I'm a monst-"

She kissed him, deep yet soft and gentle, then rained tiny kisses on the small scars on the inner part of his arms. She wondered why she hadn't noticed them before, but she was glad to be able to notice them now. He had deep scars on both of his wrists, they weren't that long, but there were several of them, protruding slightly and had a lighter colour compared to his skin.

"I'm sorry… I should've realised these sooner…" She muttered as she gently kissed the scars on his wrists, his breath hitched in his chest as he received her kind gesture.

'I really don't deserve her.' The depressing look on his face said it all. Throughout these three months of being his wife, she could somehow read his expression, little by little.

She decided to ease his insecurities.

Taking a deep, long breath, she stood up from the couch, removing her already loose dress, and the rest of her garments. They fell onto the marble floor, leaving her totally bare in front of him.

Kaneki almost choked at the sight of his wife. It wasn't his first time seeing her upper body, she had bared herself to him the night he fainted two weeks ago. But this time, she was completely bare.

"T-Touka. You-" She removed her clothes to make him feel better, to let him know that she didn't care about his scars at all. She still wanted him. Some stupid scars would not stop her from wanting this, from showing him how much she loved him.

But little did she know, she wasn't as confident as she thought she would be. Even she had insecurities, not just him. What if she wasn't beautiful enough? What if she looked fat? What if he didn't like her breasts' size and shape?

Her right arm covered her breasts immediately, while her left hand covered her private part. She looked down, embarrassed with herself, her cheeks reddening with every passing second.

But slowly, Kaneki stood up and walked towards her, trying his best not to look at her body- especially her bosom, but failed. How could he not, when his wife was so beautiful both on the outside and on the inside? He was such a fool for trying to court Rize years ago, when Touka had been loving him since then - since seven years ago.

And she still loved him even now.

And he loved her too, very much.

His fingers traced the curves of her delicate skin on her shoulders- slowly, ever so slowly, down her arms, letting them fall to her sides, exposing her fully to him. He stared at her in awe as he took in her every feature- from her shoulder-length silky blue hair that had gotten longer in these three months- giving her more feminine look, her dusky pink areolas that seemed to contrast her breasts- that cleavage of hers teasing him in every dress she wore, her tiny waist that he loved to wrap his arm around every night, the small patch of hair at the lips of her womanhood, her fleshy, supple thighs- all the way to her cute little toes.

For him, even the word beautiful could not describe her ethereal beauty.

Eventually, his sight fixated on the enticing mole on her right breast. Gathering his courage, his finger carefully pressed and circled around it. He looked up at her, as if asking permission, but she just nodded timidly. The moment the pad of his thumb brushed her nipple, she involuntarily let out a pleasured gasp, and that triggered him.

The result of his hands fondling, massaging, playing with her breasts resulting in high-pitched moans he never knew she was capable of. He noticed his pants felt incredibly tight now.

"Touka."

She looked up at him with a flushed face, her eyelids drooping and her lush lips slightly parted.

'So beautiful.' He wanted to kiss her, but her next question surprised him.

"Aren't you… going to take your clothes off?" She asked, panting, then he did- with no hesitation. Perhaps because she had let him see her first, that it made him feel less insecure to bare himself in front of her.

An awkward silence filled the study chamber as they were both equally bare, standing in front of each other. She noticed the scars on his thighs- they were long and red, but they didn't make him any less beautiful than he already was.

Something else intrigued her instead.

"Kaneki. They're... white."

"Huh?"

"Your… hair... they're white. Why?"

If it was someone else, they would have been embarrassed by her question since it wasn't normal for someone to comment on your pubic hair. But for him, it looked like his eyes were about to spill tears again.

Determined to not let him cry again on that night, she swiftly closed the distance between them and comforted him as best as she could. Her bare breasts pressed against his ribs, his hardness poked her lower belly. But she- or even he, didn't seem to care that much.

His head hung low, and for a moment, he didn't say anything as she kept rubbing his back soothingly.

Perhaps it was time to tell her the truth.

"I'm... I'm aging, Touka. Remember when you asked me about my hair back then? I'm sorry... I didn't dye my hair. It turned white when I was 19… And so does... every other hair." He explained, his forehead eventually rested on her shoulder.

"So, physically you look 24 but your hair looks 50… something like that?"

He clamped his lips together and nodded.

She did the calculation in her head, the result shocked her greatly.

Five years.

He had been aging for five years.

He had undergone the process of dying for five years.

Touka couldn't imagine him going through this alone, and living the rest of his life alone had she obeyed his order to leave him. No, she couldn't. He had suffered too much in his life. She wanted to ease his burden, to let him know that no matter how tragic his life may be, she would always be there by his side.

Unwrapping her arms around him, she lifted his head up to capture his lips with hers. So lovingly, so gently. Her tongue traced his lips before delving into his mouth for a long, deep kiss.

"I won't ever leave you. No matter what your condition is, no matter how old you may look, I'll stay."

"Touka…"

"I love you, Kaneki." His heart ached again after hearing her confession. Her right hand stroked his left cheek. He leaned into her soft touch- she watched as his eyes fluttered closed, savouring the tender moment. Then, she kissed him with just the merest brush of her lips.

"I love you." She repeated again, in a softer tone. Her left hand crept up his body, tracing his scars soothingly. She felt the ridges of his sculpted muscles bunched under her curious touch.

"I love you." She whispered. Her previous actions and her warm smile, accompanied by her soft gaze before she claimed his lips once more- was too much for him.

He pressed her closer- their tongues danced together, swirling around each other and the feeling of flesh meeting flesh was warm, raw, intimate. This time, he could really feel her accepting him, loving him, wanting him that their hips reflexively ground against one another and he ended up pinning her onto the couch again. Finally, all his resistance broke down.

Despite having no experience, he had Eto's books as his primary reference. The cheeky princess never failed to include an intimate scene in her horror books, yet they never seemed out of place. That was how talented she was as an author. She must've used Kishou as the reference to her writing, but Kaneki tried not to think too hard about that.

But then again, even though he had read them, he didn't really rely on them. He relied on his pure instinct. Desire. Because right now, all he wanted was to be closer to his wife. To feel her nude, soft body pressed against his. To learn more about her body in order to touch her in a way that would make her feel good, content, pleasure. To kiss her senselessly, and to feel her kissing him back- knowing how much she wanted this too.

As their bodies moulded firmly together, his hips instinctively rolled against hers- once, twice, which she responded with a needy whimper. Her legs automatically wrapped around him- her hips bucked up, wanting to feel him against her again.

He could feel her wetness as he rubbed against her. "T-Touka."

The darkened flush of his face, the sound of his ragged breath, the bead of liquid that had formed at the tip- along with her wetness slightly coating it- he was hard. Too hard that it was unbearable for him, that he needed release- by becoming one with her.

'It's alright.' He calmed himself, reassuring himself that she wanted this too, that this was mutual, that whatever happened after this- he would take responsibilities and tried his very best to live as long as possible with her- and with his future child or children.

He just needed one last confirmation before he proceeded further, taking the next step of their marriage.

"Are you sure?" He asked, breathlessly. His cheeks tinted red from anxiousness and the obvious aching.

Ah, what a fool he was.

He didn't even need to ask.

They both knew her answer to that question before she even gave him one.

Nonetheless, Touka still nodded, bracing herself for what was coming. This was it. She would bear him his child. She would save Re from being conquered by another kingdom. Moreover, she wanted to save him too. From his loneliness, from his depressing thoughts, from his pessimistic mindset about not deserving her when he very much did.

He shifted several times- she could feel the bulbous head pressing against her. Biting her lower lip, she closed her eyes, and waited.

And waited.

…and waited.

Nothing happened.

"Touka, I can't-"

For a moment, she thought he was going to pull away. So she crossed her ankles behind his back, locking him.

A look of absolute panic spread across his face.

"-I can't find it."

"...what?" She asked, bewildered.

"Your- I can't- it doesn't- go in." His whole face was red with embarrassment and shame. He couldn't even penetrate her- it made him feel extremely idiotic, useless, pathetic.

"Hold on." She held him, and he hissed- feeling the exact same searing sensation as the night when she touched it for the first time.

"It's supposed to be here..." She was not a hundred percent sure as well. It was her own body, but she was as clueless as him in that area. Kaya did teach her a lot of things- such as the importance of foreplay or how intercourse happened between a male and a female but she wasn't taught in that much detail.

The illuminated light from the beeswax candle was dim, but she could clearly see his red ears- standing out against his snow-white hair. A small sigh escaped her lips before she stroked his cheek gently.

"Hey. Let's learn together, okay?"

He felt a tug at his fragile heart. Despite his incompetence, she still accepted him, giving him- and herself- another chance at this.

He nodded, and Touka pondered. How was she going to carry his child if they could not even consummate their marriage?

On the spur of the moment, Kaya's teaching crossed her mind.

"Maybe, you should- um, use your- fingers first?"

Kaya had also taught her about how to pleasure a man, and how to enjoy lovemaking more. But it took a lot of courage for her to ask him that question. Nonetheless, it seemed like it would help them to proceed to the next step.

"Uh... Okay."

She held his hand, guiding him to her opening where one of his fingers carefully slid in, stretching her- her face showing obvious discomfort.

"Are you- are you alright?"

She nodded, biting her lower lip. It was clear that she was not used to this. But so was he.

"We can stop this if you want to."

Instantaneously, she shook her head. "No! I'm alright."

He gulped worriedly. "Really?"

"Yes. Continue."

He stared at her for a brief moment, then agreed.

"Alright…" He inserted his second finger not long after, stroking her with his digits that it reminded him of the intimate act she performed on him earlier this month. He had been thinking about it- and wanted to return the favour. Plus, in Eto's books, that scene seemed to please the female characters greatly.

"Can I... return the favour… from before...?" He stopped moving his fingers, but they were still sheathed inside her.

"From... before?"

"You know... that night. When you- um-"

Oh. The night she gave him pleasure. "W-won't it make you... uncomfortable?"

"No. I- I don't think so. I want to... I want to try. Unless, unless you don't want to."

"I... I don't know."

Silence filled the chamber again as they looked into each other's eyes, their expressions uncertain, hesitant.

Kaya had told her about this- saying it would be a great pleasure to have a man performing this act on a woman but she felt… scared. Even though she did give him pleasure on the other night, to think that he wanted to return it made her feel a bit too overwhelmed at the moment.

Perhaps, she should let him. She did kind of force herself onto him that night.

"Um, okay."

"Really?" His eyes widened in surprise.

"Mhm."

"Let me know if you don't like it, okay?"

She nodded.

If there was one word that could describe them at the moment, it was awkward.

Kaneki was obviously very nervous, and Touka was too tensed. It was even more awkward as he couldn't stop staring at where his fingers were, and her face blushed intensely from his staring.

Subconsciously licking his lips, he gathered the courage within him. Started by kissing her inner thighs, rubbing her nub, curling his fingers- following the guide in Eto's books just to see her reaction but her response astonished him. To know that he was able to make her writhe wantonly, to make her this drenched, her fingers weaved into his hair- it boosted the pride within him. So, he kept on going. And going. To hear more, to taste more despite how painfully hard he felt down there.

All the stroking, the rubbing, the pressure of his tongue on her- he drove her crazy, making her lost in a sea of exquisite sensation- that she was unaware that she yanked his hair too hard when she reached her high, moaning loudly as the surge of pleasure coursed through her body.

Realising that she was being too loud, she covered her mouth with her hands, but her expression stricken with grief when she felt strands of hair in her hands.

She could literally hear the wild beating of her heart in her ears, roaring so loudly as she took a closer look at them- her eyes couldn't get wider.

White hair.

A lot of them.

Separated from his scalp.

He really was dying, wasn't he?

'I need to get pregnant. As soon as possible.'

"Kaneki."

"Hm?"

"Enough of that. Just take me."

She tried her best not to cry, she needed to stay strong- to not show him that it bothered her so much to know that he was dying and she couldn't do anything about it. She felt useless, weak. She wanted him to live longer so badly. To have a family with him, and watch their children growing up. But she knew- she knew, her wish was just a hopeless wish.

He had one year.

Or even less than that.

She would cherish each moment to the fullest. With him.

There was no time to waste.

"Touka, what's wrong?"

"Just take me." She pleaded. He seemed taken aback by her answer, his eyes blinked in confusion.

"You didn't like it? I'm- I'm sorry!"

"No. I mean- yes." She shook her head. "I liked it, but, just take me. Please. I'm ready." She pulled him up towards her, wrapping her arms around his neck as she helped him to get into position. Her eyes filled with tears- threatening to spill over but she wouldn't allow them to. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice them.

"Then, I'll- try again." Kaneki informed her. The feeling of his tip kissing her entrance made him groan, his eyes shut tight.

"Kaneki."

His eyes fluttered open, the deep red flush on his face was prominent as he stared into her indigo orbs.

"You don't have to be so gentle with me. It's alright." She squeezed his cheek tenderly, reassuring him with her words, her smile.

He gave her a small nod, then he tried again. Less gentle this time, but still cautious of the discomfort he may cause her.

Bracing himself, he pressed forward.

All the torture he had endured, the loneliness he felt all these years- thinking no one loved him, she would prove him wrong. He, out of all people in this world- needed this the most.

Because he didn't have much time left.

And because he deserved happiness after all the things he'd been through.

But even so, it felt... uncomfortable. And painful. She'd never had something inside of her before, and it definitely felt as if her body had just detected something foreign.

"Are you… alright?" Kaneki was in no better condition either. The feeling of being inside of her was unbearable for him as well- and he wasn't even halfway in. But still, Touka nodded. Despite the painful expression on her face, the sound of her laboured breathing, and the convulsion of her walls opening around him, gripping him- eventually taking him.

He paused momentarily, then kissed her- rubbing her neck, her breasts, her hips- trying his best to ease her pain.

After a moment, she seemed to relax a bit, her breath steadying therefore he started to move, but was afraid of releasing too soon. The warmth and tightness were too much for him. It was definitely a new sensation, different from the one she gave him almost two weeks ago.

He couldn't think straight at all.

Probably because she was taking him in so willingly, her arms wrapped around him with the deepest affection, and her eyes gazed at him with intense love, adoration, yearning- showing him that she wanted this as much as he did. Knowing that she accepted him- even when she had other options, that she chose to stay by his side- even when he asked her to leave, that she loved him for who he was- and her feelings remained the same no matter what his status was. All these thoughts and overwhelming emotions swirled, twirled then merged together inside of him. Tears welled up in his eyes, and at that exact moment, even if his eyes were blurry due to those tears, she still looked so beautiful- like an angel.

His grunts and moans filled the warm, summer air with each hard thrust. He held her close, so close to him that he could feel their bodies moulding together perfectly as if they were made for each other. Her arms and legs tangled around him so tightly as if she didn't want to let go, ever.

In that moment, all he could see through his one eye was her- her half-lidded indigo orbs, the glistening sweat on her skin, the rhythmic bouncing of her breasts from her heaving chest. All he could hear was her whimpers, her moans, her gasps- and the slick sound of their hips slapping together- filling his ears- travelling to his throbbing groin as they drove him on. All he could smell was her sweet lavender scent, her arousal- sweet and pungent in the air, mixed heavily with his own. All he could taste was her swollen lips, her sharp tongue and the salty sweat on her butter soft skin. All he could feel through his body, his hands, his skin, was her and her alone.

She, his loyal and dedicated wife- filled all of his senses, making him drown and intoxicated even more in the inexplicable sensation of being inside of her- clenching him tightly, taking him deeper with every thrust.

Touka, was all that was on his mind.

Did he moan her name out loud?

He might have.

He could feel the tight knot forming in the pit of his stomach, his thrust became sloppy and desperate, his moans getting louder and louder.

"Touka, I'm-"

She held him tighter, tighter, wanting to feel him close to her, feeling the rapid pounding of his heartbeat as they moved together in sync. Kissing him, nipping his lower lip and locked her legs tighter around his waist until a foreign warmth flowed inside of her, filling her until he softened.

He apologised, for coming sooner than he intended to, for unable to hold back. But she hushed him, kissing him gently when it was over.

"Thank you." 'For staying. For loving me.' He murmured between the kisses. She wiped his tears away with the pads of her thumbs, kissing both of his eyelids, lingering longer on his left one.

"Thank you too." She spoke softly as she pulled away, her thumb grazing over his bottom lip before they kissed once again, his lips then found her forehead.

Being in his wife's arms had always felt like home. He felt safe, wanted, loved. He couldn't thank her enough for being stubborn, for choosing to stay and showed him what he really needed in his life. Had she obeyed his order to leave him, he wouldn't have experienced this ethereal moment with her, he wouldn't have realised that he was loved despite his disease, despite his ugly, selfish self.

"I love you, Touka." He muttered into her chest, holding her closer to bask in her warmth and softness before his eyes getting heavier and sleep overtook him.

"I love you, Kaneki." She whispered- stroking his hair with a small smile on her face.

But the smile faded as his hair kept on falling with her caresses. Pulling him closer, she swallowed hard to keep her tears from coming out.

She would ask the servant to prepare the red ginseng from tomorrow onwards. She knew she should wait a bit longer to recover- but she couldn't care less about it. Not when her husband was dying, and she needed to get pregnant as soon as possible to save their kingdom. She would bear the pain- it was truly nothing compared to the pain he had suffered throughout his life.

At the very least, she wanted him to meet their child before he left this world, eternally.