High School Shenanigans

by Apple1892

The Cullens are back in high school—this time with Bella, Renesmee, and four werewolves in tow. Blending in proves impossible as they face nosy students, awkward admirers, and gym class disasters. With Alice's visions, Edward's mind-reading woes, and Jasper drowning in hormones, chaos is inevitable.

1. Supernatural Chaos in High School

High School Shenanigans: Supernatural Chaos in High School

The Cullen family had done this routine countless times before—new town, new school, new fake identities. But this time, things were different. This time, they weren't just a family of vampires trying to blend in. This time, they had Bella, Renesmee, Jacob, Leah, Seth, and Embry tagging along for the ride.

Forks High had been one thing, but now, in the town of Astoria, Oregon, the Cullens had to navigate the minefield of high school with three werewolves and a hybrid in their midst.

The moment the group walked through the front doors, whispers spread like wildfire.

"Who are they?"

"They look like models."

"Did you see the tall one with the dark hair? Oh my god."

Jacob smirked. "Well, this is already fun."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Try not to attract too much attention."

Jacob spread his arms. "Do I look like I can avoid that?"

Alice, already annoyed, poked him in the ribs. "Stop basking in it. You reek of overconfidence."

Bella, who had long since perfected the 'silent and brooding' vampire act, walked beside Edward, whispering, "This is going to be a disaster, isn't it?"

"Undoubtedly."

Leah crossed her arms, glaring at a group of students who had dared to look her way too long. "If one more hormonal teenager tries to make eye contact with me, I'm going to lose it."

Embry chuckled. "Relax, Leah. We're the exotic new kids. Just smile."

Seth, ever the optimist, grinned. "Come on, Leah, maybe someone will finally ask you to prom."

Leah bared her teeth in a very un-friendly way. The students in question immediately turned and speed-walked in the opposite direction.

One particularly bold student, a sophomore named Brian, leaned toward his friend. "Dude, I think the blonde one just threatened me."

His friend, eyes glued to Rosalie, sighed dreamily. "Worth it."

Alice suddenly froze mid-step, her eyes glazing over. Edward immediately stiffened, his eyes darting to her. Jasper tensed beside her, feeling the flicker of unease ripple through her emotions. The humans around them remained oblivious.

Alice's vision shifted—students gossiping, teachers side-eyeing them, and then—someone snooping too much. Someone looking for answers. A girl in the library flipping through old records, frowning at a familiar name.

When she came back to the present, she muttered, "Well, that's going to be annoying."

Edward sighed. "Who?"

Alice waved it off. "Later."

Jasper smirked. "I felt that. You're irritated, but also… entertained?"

Alice grinned. "It's cute when humans think they can solve a mystery."

Edward groaned, already tuning into the human minds around them. A storm of thoughts rushed through him—admiration, jealousy, curiosity. Then there were the romantic ones.

"Oh my god, that bronze-haired girl is gorgeous. Maybe she's single?"

"That tall guy with the ponytail—he looks like he'd ruin my life in the best way."

Edward's expression soured. "Disgusting."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "What now?"

Edward glared at him. "You don't want to know what some of these kids are thinking."

Jasper chuckled. "Oh, I do. I can feel it. Hormones. Everywhere. It's suffocating."

As classes start, the group quickly realized that "blending in" was going to be impossible.

Bella's biology partner took one look at her pale skin and golden eyes and immediately went down like a sack of potatoes. The thud was loud enough to make the whole class turn. Edward, who had seen this coming, sighed and grabbed the emergency smelling salts from the teacher's desk while Bella awkwardly patted the unconscious student's back. "This is the third one today," she muttered. "I'm not even doing anything."

Rosalie, meanwhile, caused absolute chaos in physics class. The moment she entered, a dozen boys scrambled to be her partner, elbows flying, friendships forgotten. One kid tripped over a desk and face-planted. Another actually tried to bribe the teacher with a $20 bill and a heartfelt, "Please, Mr. Johnson. This is life or death." The teacher, now a very tired man, had to break up the bickering and assign partners at random. Rosalie rolled her eyes but couldn't help smirking.

Seth, completely oblivious to his own popularity, became the golden boy of gym class. He breezed through every activity like an Olympic athlete casually stretching his legs. By the end of class, students were forming a fan club, whispering about his "superhuman reflexes" and "natural athleticism." Someone actually asked if he was part of some secret sports training program. "Uh… yeah," Seth answered, blinking. "It's called 'being a werewo—' I mean, uh… running a lot?" The kid nodded solemnly, convinced Seth had unlocked the secrets to peak physical fitness.

Emmett, of course, decided to test the limits of human disbelief. In the weight room, he casually bench-pressed an amount that made the gym teacher's eye twitch. The man stammered something about "checking the weight limits" before retreating to his office, possibly to reevaluate his career choices.

Jacob, ignoring Alice's repeated warnings about subtlety, dunked on a student so aggressively during basketball that the poor kid just stood there, mouth open, staring at the hoop as if it had personally betrayed him. "Dude," his teammate whispered. "Are you okay?" The kid shook his head slowly. "I just saw my life flash before my eyes."

Leah, in history class, didn't have to do anything to cause problems. She just… existed. The teacher, upon making eye contact with her for the first time, immediately lost his train of thought and stammered through the entire lecture like he was standing in front of a firing squad. At one point, he knocked over his own coffee, muttered a panicked "I—uh—test next week," and fled the room.

Embry, on the other hand, found himself seated next to a girl who had clearly already written their wedding vows in her head. She spent the entire class doodling hearts around his name and sighing dramatically every time he so much as breathed. Desperate, he tried scooting his chair away, only for her to slide closer, beaming. "So, do you like poetry?" she whispered, batting her lashes. Embry, eyes darting to the clock, prayed for the bell to save him.

Renesmee, meanwhile, was adjusting to the bizarre experience of being treated like a celebrity. "Who is she?" a student whispered. "Her hair is crazy—like, beautiful crazy." Another murmured, "And her brown eyes? Unreal." The awe was so intense that one girl actually tripped over a chair while staring, then popped up like nothing had happened.

Edward, unfortunately, was trapped in a nightmare of internal monologues. Lovesick thoughts hit him from all directions, swirling in his head like a bad romance novel come to life.

"Oh my god, he's like a tragic prince. I bet he's secretly poetic and brooding."

"That blonde guy with the Southern drawl—he could whisper anything in my ear, and I'd pass out."

"Do you think they're all dating each other? Is this some kind of beautiful, gothic cult?"

The Cullen clan had a well-practiced strategy for gym—fake effort, dodge attention, and avoid breaking any school property. This plan, however, did not account for werewolves.

When the dodgeball game began, everything fell apart.

Alice suddenly gasped as another vision hit her—a student complaining to the principal about how "superhumanly good" some of the new kids were at gym.

Alice groaned. "Okay, new rule: No showing off."

Jacob grinned, holding a dodgeball. "No promises."

Edward sighed. "This is going to be a long year."

Jacob, basking in his newfound basketball stardom, was soon swarmed by students asking if he'd ever considered going pro. "Oh, totally," he said smoothly, tossing a ball in the air. "But then, you know… had to save the world." He winked. At least three people swooned.

The Cullens had their usual untouched trays of food. Renesmee, at least, made an effort to pretend to eat. Jacob, Leah, Seth, and Embry, however, were demolishing their lunches like they hadn't eaten in weeks.

"Dude, how are you putting away that much food?" Emmett asked, watching in awe as Jacob reached for a fourth sandwich.

"I'm a growing boy," Jacob replied smugly.

Edward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're a fully grown adult."

"Details."

A group of human students nearby were staring, whispering not-so-subtly. One girl finally worked up the courage to approach. "Hi… uh, I'm Lisa," she said, twirling her hair. "Are you guys, like, models?"

Emmett grinned. "We get that a lot."

Edward groaned. "Here we go."

Lisa's eyes locked onto Jacob. "And you're—wow, you're huge."

Jacob, never one to pass up an opportunity to mess with people, leaned forward with a serious expression. "It's all protein shakes and good genetics."

Leah, unimpressed, threw a fry at his face.

Meanwhile, a group of boys were watching Rosalie from across the cafeteria. One of them, clearly summoning every ounce of courage he had, turned to his friend. "I think I'm in love."

His friend patted him on the back. "She'll kill you, bro."

"It would be an honor."

After lunch, a trio of boys were eyeing Alice, Bella, and Renesmee from across the cafeteria, whispering among themselves before finally mustering the courage to approach.

Edward, having already heard their entire plan in their heads, tried not to smirk.

"Hey," one of them said, flashing a nervous grin. "So, uh, we were just wondering—are you three new here?"

Bella gave them a patient smile. "Yes, we are."

The tallest of the boys, clearly emboldened by her response, grinned. "Cool. So, uh, do you guys want to go to a movie sometime? Or, like, a party this weekend?"

Alice's eyes sparkled mischievously. "Oh, you're asking all three of us? Ambitious."

Jasper, from across the room, suppressed a laugh as he felt the sudden wave of embarrassment hit the boys.

The boy's confidence wavered, but he recovered. "Well, you know, gotta shoot my shot."

Renesmee stifled a laugh, while Bella raised an eyebrow. "That's… bold of you."

The second boy, flustered, elbowed his friend. "Dude, I told you this was a bad idea."

Alice, still smiling, shook her head. "That's very sweet of you, but we're not really dating right now."

Renesmee nodded. "Yeah, but we appreciate the offer."

Bella gave them a kind smile. "You guys are very polite. I'm sure you'll have plenty of luck with the other girls here."

The boys, though slightly disappointed, walked away with their dignity intact, mumbling about how at least they tried.

Jasper leaned toward Edward. "That was painful."

Edward smirked. "You should've heard the internal monologues."

By the time classes resumed after lunch, the school was buzzing with rumors. Were the Cullens single? Were they dating each other? Were they aliens? (One student was convinced they were a government experiment gone wrong.)

The Cullens, of course, decided to have some fun.

In English class, Bella had barely taken a step inside when Edward swooped in, dipped her like they were in a ballroom, and kissed her hand.

A collective gasp echoed through the room. Someone dropped their textbook. Another student audibly sighed, while a third fumbled with their pen, sending it rolling off the desk.

Edward, ever the dramatist, brushed a stray lock of hair from Bella's face and murmured, "My love, parting from you even for a single class is unbearable."

Bella groaned but couldn't hide the tiny smile tugging at her lips. "Edward, we were apart for five minutes."

Edward smirked, unfazed. "Five agonizing minutes."

From the back of the room, someone whispered, "This is straight out of a movie."

Edward then turned to the rest of the class and, with a knowing glance, announced, "Just so we're clear, she's mine."

The statement sent a ripple through the students. One girl dramatically clutched her heart and whispered, "That should have been me." Another scribbled frantically in her notebook, presumably turning the scene into a fanfiction in real-time.

Bella, rolling her eyes, smacked his chest playfully before taking her seat. Meanwhile, the teacher, who had already seen enough high school theatrics for one day, simply rubbed his temples and sighed. "Cullen, Swan, please sit down so we can begin."

As Bella settled into her chair, she could still hear the murmurs around her.

"Do you think he writes poetry for her?"

"I bet he serenades her in the moonlight."

"They have to be immortal lovers, reincarnated or something."

Bella kept her expression neutral, but Edward, listening in to every thought, barely suppressed a smirk. Leaning closer, he whispered, "At least they have good taste in theories."

The teacher cleared his throat loudly, pulling the class back to reality. "Alright, enough daydreaming. Let's focus on the lesson."

As the lesson began, Bella sighed, knowing that no matter what they did, subtlety would never be in Edward's vocabulary.

In history class, Alice, knowing people were watching, stood on tiptoe and booped Jasper on the nose.

Jasper, without missing a beat, caught her hand and kissed the tip of her finger in response, his golden eyes never leaving hers.

Gasps.

Swoons.

One girl visibly wobbled in her seat, clutching her chest like she had been personally struck by Cupid. Another was frantically scribbling in her notebook, likely crafting an epic romance story in real time. A third simply muttered, "I want what they have," before dramatically resting her head on her desk.

Alice giggled as Jasper pulled her close, his fingers lightly tracing the small of her back in an effortless, practiced motion. "You know," he murmured just loud enough for the humans to hear, "I'd start a war for you."

At least three students fainted on the spot.

The teacher, who had been mid-lecture on early American conflicts, stared at the unconscious students before pinching the bridge of his nose. "I assume that was metaphorical, Mr. Hale?"

Jasper smirked. "Of course, sir."

Alice leaned against his arm, looking far too pleased with herself, while the rest of the class sat in stunned silence, barely registering the lesson anymore.

In shop class, a few guys were still trying to flirt with Rosalie, each one more desperate than the last. One tripped over a toolbox trying to get to her first. Another attempted to subtly flex his biceps while pretending to examine a wrench. A third was clearly rehearsing a pickup line under his breath.

Then, Emmett happened.

Grinning like a wolf, he strode over, effortlessly scooped Rosalie up into his arms bridal-style, and carried her across the classroom as if she weighed nothing.

The room went silent. Tools clattered to the floor. One of the guys dramatically whispered, "It should have been me."

Rosalie, thoroughly enjoying the attention, smirked and kissed Emmett's cheek. Then, in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear, she declared, "If anyone's wondering—this one's mine."

The collective heartbreak in the room was palpable. A boy at the back of the class let out a deep, tragic sigh. Another leaned against a workbench, visibly shaken. One student muttered, "I'll never love again."

Meanwhile, the shop teacher, a man who had likely seen his fair share of chaos, just exhaled through his nose and turned back to the lesson, silently questioning his career choices.

In study hall, Renesmee, still adjusting to all the attention, was surprised when Jacob plopped down next to her and threw his arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, Ness, I think half the school has a crush on you," he teased, flashing his usual cocky grin.

Renesmee huffed. "Great." She flipped a page in her book, pretending not to notice the not-so-subtle glances being thrown her way.

Jacob, never one to pass up an opportunity for theatrics, smirked at a nearby group of staring students. He leaned in, just enough to make the watching students hold their breath, and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. "Sorry, folks. This one's taken."

The table of girls next to them exploded into whispers. One of them clutched her chest like she was experiencing a personal tragedy. Another dramatically buried her face in her hands. A third, in complete despair, muttered, "I had hope. I really did."

Across the room, a guy who had been working up the courage to approach Renesmee groaned and dramatically collapsed onto his notebook. "Well, there goes my shot."

Renesmee sighed and nudged Jacob's arm. "You're impossible."

Jacob grinned. "And yet, you love me."

She rolled her eyes, but the slight smile on her lips gave her away.

As the final bell rang, the group made their way to the parking lot, relieved to be free from the chaos of their first day. Edward buried his face in his hands. "High school is a nightmare."

Alice grinned. "No, Eddie. High school is hilarious."

Jasper, barely holding back laughter, muttered, "You poor, poor soul."

Emmett stretched, cracking his knuckles. "I don't know about you guys, but I had a blast. Did you see those kids in the weight room? I think I made one of them reconsider his entire existence."

Rosalie rolled her eyes but smirked. "I had half the shop class fighting over me. Honestly, I should be used to it by now."

Jacob snorted. "Yeah, and Nessie basically has a fan club forming. If one more guy looked at her like that, I was about to start a fight."

Renesmee sighed. "Can we not? I'd rather focus on how we're definitely not blending in."

Leah crossed her arms. "I'm just glad I didn't maul anyone. Barely."

Seth grinned. "Hey, at least we made an impression, right?"

Bella shook her head. "I spent half the day reviving people who fainted just from looking at me. At this rate, I'll need to start carrying smelling salts."

Embry groaned. "I got seated next to a girl who practically planned our wedding in her notebook. It was terrifying."

Alice suddenly groaned mid-vision. "Oh great. Someone's about to start a conspiracy theory blog about us."

Jasper smirked. "It's not paranoia if they're actually onto us."

Edward exhaled sharply. "Of course they are."

Carlisle's car pulled up, and he gave them all a pointed look. "So… how did it go?"

The group exchanged glances before answering in unison: "Disastrous."

When they arrived home, Esme was already waiting for them at the door, her expression a mix of amusement and concern. "That bad?" she asked, stepping forward to pull Bella and Renesmee into a warm hug.

"You have no idea," Edward muttered, rubbing his temples.

Emmett grinned. "You should've seen it, Esme. We owned that school."

Rosalie scoffed. "More like terrified half of it."

Alice flopped onto the couch with an exaggerated sigh. "I give it two days before the school is convinced we're part of some elite, supernatural secret society."

Esme chuckled, shaking her head. "Well, at least no one got expelled."

Jasper stretched and leaned against the wall. "I've fought wars, but I think today might have been just as exhausting."

Leah smirked. "Tell me about it. I think I set a new record for how many people I scared just by existing."

Seth plopped down on the floor, looking far too pleased. "But it was fun, right? I mean, we totally dominated gym class."

Jacob scoffed. "Yeah, and half the school is either in love with Nessie or terrified of me."

Renesmee groaned. "Both of those things are equally annoying."

Bella, still rubbing her temples, muttered, "I swear if one more person faints at the sight of me…"

Embry slumped onto the couch. "I just want to go one day without someone planning our fictional wedding in their notebook."

Carlisle smiled wryly. "Yet."

Esme sighed, looking at each of them in turn. "Well, I hope you all realize that this is just the beginning. You'll have to survive the rest of the year."

A collective groan filled the room.