The sound of the whistle cuts my breath, all the pairs of feet moving fast in one place raising the dust of the training room. The exercise is simple, for three minutes we have to jog lifting our knees to our chest in our same place. Three minutes of agony in exchange for one minute of rest. We are less than 50 minutes into our first day of initiation and each of us are asking for a break. Three more minutes and we switch exercises. Four yells out that we must go jogging around the room for 10 minutes. I don't know if my legs will allow it, I fear that at the first step they will fail me and I will fall to the floor.

I have no idea how to use more than half of the equipment in here. Four yells at us again. We have to grab two metal discs, take one in each hand. Raise our arms to our sides and hold them. The discs are marked 5 lbs. each, I can't even carry them back to my spot, everything hurts. Four advised us to eat a light breakfast, now I understand why...

"Arms up initiates" Eric yells. When we walked into the training I knew something was wrong, what was one of the leaders doing wasting time with us?. "I don't normally babysit, but we have decided that this year's initiation will be led by me as well as Four" I can see that this doesn't sit well with him, he is more tense than yesterday, maybe it's that he is not a friendly person in the mornings, but something tells me he is not at any time of the day. Eric paces around with hatred, pacing among us, correcting us, teasing us, pushing us. My arms shake, I put all my concentration into not letting go of the discs but I can't feel my fingers anymore. Beads of sweat from my forehead fall into my eyes and everything burns, everything looks blurry but I don't flinch.

All the air is filled with gasps and whimpers interrupted only by Eric's shouts "arms up!" Four paces in front of us, watching us and writing things down on his tablet. He arrives in front of me and doesn't stop as he scowls at me, "breathe calmly" he says to Layla next to me, she whimpers in response. I try to concentrate on the sounds of my breathing and not the pain in my wrists, they start to buckle but I return them to a flat position, if I allow them to move the discs will weigh more. I think of the donation packs we distribute in Abnegation, they are heavy because they are filled with cans of food, I could carry those packs before, I can carry these discs now.

The clang of metal against the ground breaks everyone's groans of pain. "Pathetic!" shouts Eric, 'Rest' says Four. I drop my arms but don't let go of the discs, I'm afraid I can't grab them again, I have to bend my knees to try to calm the pain in my body. Breathe Tris, breathe. "Again!" says Eric, it's the shortest minute of rest ever. I know my arms should be higher but I can't, they burn if I try.

"What's the matter Tris, are you tired?" Eric teases moving closer to me than necessary, the pain from all the exercise this morning mixed with Eric's smell makes me nauseous. I don't know how much time passes, I try to think about anything else but what I'm doing. "Leave the discs in place and do 10 more minutes of laps around the room" says Four somewhere behind my row. Everyone groans, I feel like I'm moving in slow motion, at least while running I can rest my arms.

"Don't drink too much water, and don't drink too fast either. If you mess up the floor you'll have to clean it yourselves" Four stands in front of the dummies, shows us two types of strokes and for the next two hours we do nothing but repeat them. Both of them walk between the rows, our goal is to make the dummies move. I hear Four handing out advice to the others, Eric instead, yells and humiliates. Four gives me no advice and Eric just pushes me; I try to hold back the tears, I can't cry here, I can't be the weak one in the class but I start to feel too dizzy from the pain in my body and the monotonousness of the exercise.

"Maybe if you have to fight against a wall someday you'll win" Four teases approaching me "I'm trying" I reply without looking at him. "You have no muscle, no strength. You are too weak and small", '"Wow, thanks" I tell him and it seems that for the first time he thinks about giving me some advice but we are interrupted by the voice of Maria the other girl coming from Amity '"Four, can you help me I think I'm not doing it very well" her voice is full of flirtiness, her eyes roam completely over Four's body with lust while he makes a demonstration of the moves. I roll my eyes, not willing to waste my time with nonsense I return my gaze to my dummy.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Layla and I shuffle over to a table in the dining room "Do you think it's possible for our arms to fall off? I'm sure I have them lower than normal" she tells me as she lays her head on the table. We have an hour break and I'm debating between eating or sleeping here on the table. "I can't believe we've barely been training for six hours" I reply burying my face in my hands. I hear noises around me but can't manage to lift my head. "My God Four, if you kill them all from exhaustion you won't have any initiates to train" says a male voice, I think it's Uriah's brother, it doesn't matter, I can't move my neck to check anyway.

"Hmm, Eric..." Four answers from somewhere at our table. "Better hurry up and eat, don't want to go back to training with a full stomach," shut up please, everyone shut up and let me sleep "I can't" I say still not lifting my head. I hear noises next to me and feel the bench sink. "Wow, what's up with you transfers, what kind of training are you giving them" I don't recognize the voice so I force myself to look up, sitting next to me is a tall muscular guy, he has fair skin, brown eyes with very long eyelashes, very short hair and a stubble is starting to form on his face. He smiles at me like we have been best friends all our lives. I've seen him before, he's the guy who jumped in after me, a born here in Dauntless, Jason?

"Why aren't you struggling?" the question automatically comes out of my mouth without giving me time to mask the envy in my tone of voice, he just laughs. I raise an eyebrow to let him know that's not answer enough, at the rest of the table there are more transferees suffering but he's here, smiling fresh like he just woke up. "Ahmm, for one thing I'm more used to physical exercise and for another, luckily Lauren doesn't think torture is a good teaching method" this last he says looking directly at Four who is sitting across from us, he just moves his food back and forth on his plate, as if he didn't find the comment or the conversation interesting enough.

"Hmm ok" is all I can say before settling in to rest my neck again, "Aren't you eating?" Jason asks me, "Everything hurts, moving is not...not in my plans" I reply painfully. "Ok, wait, I'll get you something" he quickly gets up and even though I try to stop him, my body moves at the speed of a turtle. Jason returns with two trays in hand, a bowl of hot soup and some bread is placed in front of me. "Maybe something hot will help you relax your body" he tells me. Four looks at us without interest but raising an eyebrow, without wasting any time he returns his attention to his plate.

"So who are you?" Jason asks, this is the worst time for someone to decide to be friendly with me, I just want to sleep. But Jason inspires confidence in me, he could be sitting at the Dauntless born table but he's here with us showing support, I wonder if I should try to convince the leaders to allow me to oversee the initiation of Lauren's group, they look so relaxed. "Do you have a name?" Jason asks insistently, Four lets out a sort of snort, I realize that several seconds have passed and I haven't answered Jason. "Ahmm yes, I'm Tris" I stretch out my hand in the now usual greeting. "Tris, my name is Jason. Well, would you like to chat with me about what someone older is doing going through initiation for a faction that isn't theirs?" The question takes me by surprise and I spin my neck to face him, but the movement is too fast and a spasm of pain runs from my back to my head, my eyes fill with tears and as I try to rub myself I ask "How do you know my age?".

Jason smiles showing his white teeth, "You didn't choose Dauntless at the choosing ceremony and on the train you had a grey dress" he says crisply. "How do you know I didn't choose Dauntless, there are 55 initiates maybe you just missed me" I tell him as I try to eat without being completely consumed by the strain of bringing the spoon to my mouth. Jason laughs again and answers in a serious manner, his eyes look at me intensely and I just want him to stop.

"Trust me, I don't think anyone would be able to get past you" he replies, Four snorts dropping his fork, we both turn to look at him, his face shows annoyance, as if he can't imagine anything more boring than our conversation, he returns his attention to Zeke who is telling him something between laughs. "Well, I'm an ambassador for Abnegation, we're making some, hmm, changes, and I was sent to do some initiation supervision here" I tell him trying not to blurt out more than necessary, not only because he doesn't have to know, but because I know Four is paying attention to our conversation. More people finish eating or at least trying to, Layla finishes eating the bread that was on my tray and goes back to rubbing her arms. Jason, gets up promising to find us when we finish our training to hang out with us.

We still have plenty of time before we go back to training, I'm debating whether to get up and go lie down on the mats in the training room or just pass out in pain here in the dining room when a squeaky voice distracts me. Maria comes over and sits down in the space next to Four. "Four, could you help me wrap my knuckles? All that exercise broke my skin open. I know it's not your job but I hope you don't mind playing a bit of nurse with me" she tells him, Zeke lets out a laugh which he tries to disguise with a cough when he sees the angry look Four gives him. "You can go to the infirmary and have a real professional help you with that" Four replies as he tries to put distance from her.

"Oh but that's not what everyone says" Four just raises an eyebrow, but her whole body tenses up, this doesn't seem to scare Maria at all, Zeke for his part can't contain his laughter. "You see, the girls over there" she points to a table full of giggling girls who greet Four very happily, while he doesn't even dedicate a few seconds of attention to them "they said that sometimes you participate in the fights that take place at night and that the times you have lost..."

"I've never lost" he answers her somewhat cockily, she blushes "of course, the times you've had injuries to tend to you've never let anyone else help you and that you do it by yourself, I thought then there's no one better than you to teach me" she says handing him a gauze and alcohol swab, and I've had enough of this exchange, I snort and roll my eyes as I stand up, I'd rather spend my time anywhere else "what's the matter Tris, don't you have any wounds you want Four to treat?" says Zeke mockingly raising his eyebrows at me, obviously teasing his friend.

"Noup, I'd rather drown myself in painkillers, thanks." I reply as I walk away from the tables with Layla crawling beside me, "God, Maria is anything but shy" she says moaning in pain.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The first two hours of our training afternoon are even more painful, Eric put together a whole torture routine for us. He is even more irritable than in the morning and that makes him yell at us even more. We are now doing the most reps of an exercise that looks like a frog jump, burpees as he calls them, every time I stand up I am sure it will be my last, my body is going to fail me and I am going to pass out. At some point Eric gets close enough for only me to hear when he says "Come on stiff, don't tell me you want to give up, this whole workout is specifically designed for you, so you can have something interesting to report to the council people" I know he's trying to break me, I know initiation into this faction is always hard, but seeing Jason so calm and cool a while ago, makes me doubt and think that indeed, all the pain they are inflicting on us is only because I decided to question what they do here.

I do a few more reps when a thud is heard in the gym. Four goes to a guy lying on the floor but Eric stops him "let him get up on his own. Come on, up you go initiate!" He tells him kicking his legs lightly but the boy doesn't move. "I think he's passed out" says another boy who was training next to him. Eric snorts bored, "Well what are they waiting for, someone get him to the infirmary" but no one moves, no one is strong enough. Four makes another attempt to approach but Eric blocks his way "Let one of the initiates take him" he says. Again, no one lifts a finger; everyone looks at him with pity but no one takes the first step and I can only think what my parents would say if they saw this scene.

Somehow this gives me strength and I start to approach, Layla looks at me and catches my desire to help. In a second we are both at his side trying to lift him up, my arms are burning but I don't let that overpower me, if I let him fall it will be worse for him. I manage to bend down to put one of his arms on my shoulders and I tell Layla to do the same on the other side, between the two of us we manage to incorporate him and start walking with him dragging his legs, luckily he is one of the shortest guys in the whole group. Eric then shouts "The rest of you keep working, NOW!" We start walking towards the doors and Four reaches for us to open them.

"Take him to Marlene, she must be on shift right now" I try to formulate some kind of response but the weight is too much, all my concentration is on breathing, '"and while you're there, ask her to give you some ointment and pain pills," I just nod and walk out of the room.

The infirmary is not as brightly lit as others I have visited, I don't know how long it takes for the dauntless to get used to living in the shadows. Fortunately for us, as soon as we enter we see that Marlene is at the reception desk talking to Christina, both of them's faces light up when they see us, but they quickly become alarmed when they see the boy we came dragging. Marlene directs us to a gurney and helps us lay him down, then asks us to go back to the front desk while she and a nurse begin to check him over.

"Rough day huh?" asks Christina as we plop down in the waiting chairs. "I don't know how I'll be able to get up tomorrow" I reply defeated "Yes I understand you, when it was my initiation Eric also supervised it and it was too much, I even considered at some point breaking a bone just to have an excuse to be able to rest" I feel Layla trembling next to me as she imagines all the weeks we have left of this. "But don't worry, you will slowly get used to it and when you least expect it it won't hurt so much, the trick is to exercise every day so the muscles don't hurt" Christina tells us as the doors to the infirmary open and the rest of our group begins to enter.

"Did anyone else pass out?" Layla asks a boy "No, Roy threw up and Eric finished training early, he sent us all here to get our vitamin pack" the boy says dropping into the chair. Marlene walks into the reception area and starts handing out pill boxes to everyone as she tells us girls that we have to stay for an extra medication. She leads us inside the infirmary and asks us to sit on the gurneys, Christina follows with us as I watch Marlene start to inject the other girls.

"What is that?" I ask Christina with a bit of concern, I have never liked shots.

"Birth control" she tells me nonchalantly.

"Birth what?" she and Layla look at me oddly.

"Birth control, you know...they're for not" she circles her stomach, but my face must show more confusion than before because she looks at me with wide eyes "to avoid pregnancies Tris."

I feel my cheeks flare and I look down "unless you prefer some other type, normally here we all get the shot but I'm sure Marlene can administer any other type you prefer"

"N... n... n... no" I start to stammer '"Why?" I finish asking her, Marlene finishes injecting the last of the girls and it's just the four of us left.

"Well, its main function is so you don't have to interrupt the initiation cause of a baby" Marlene says, "But it also serves to cut your period and make the 12 weeks more comfortable, without the cramps of your period and all that".

I'm sure my face reached the most intense shade of red there is. "If you want Tris, I can help you with some other method" she tells me with compassion in her eyes, it is visible to all how uncomfortable this topic is for me. In Abnegation they don't talk to us about this, my mother never talked to me about this.

"Tris" Christina begins to say "what method do they use in Abnegation to avoid pregnancy?"

"In Abnegation no one is looking to avoid pregnancy" I say and all three of them open their eyes in surprise.

"Are they okay with girls being pregnant all the time?" asks Marlene a little startled.

There aren't pregnant girls all the time, although come to think of it, there are too many babies in Abnegation, too many little kids. "Well, it's not like there are pregnancies here and there. Usually after a wedding happens, women start getting pregnant" I tell them.

"But how do they keep the ones that aren't married from having babies?" Layla asks in fright.

"Why would they have babies? They're not married yet..." I say not understanding what they mean by their doubts.

"Tris" Christina squeezes my arm and in her face there is only panic '"are you trying to tell us that before they get married, no one in Abnegation has sex?" Yeap, my face again is red "Mmmm no" I answer them sheepishly.

All three gasp. "But then what do you do with your boyfriend, is oral sex allowed?" what? I can't believe I'm having this conversation right now, I know what oral sex is, once in school I overheard some girls from Candor talking about it.

"Boyfriend? No in Abnegation we don't have boyfriends" I tell them trying to divert the conversation. " Ever?" Marlene asks in a panic.

"Well no, I mean... when we finish initiation we can start to be courted" I start to explain but it seems like all three of them got punched in the face "I guess we could call that dating too, then comes the wedding and that's it"

"What if it doesn't work out?" Layla asks, "What doesn't work out?" I ask her without understanding.

"The relationship, what if it doesn't work out, can you try someone else?"

"Mmm no, divorce doesn't exist in Abnegation" 'divorce' another term I know from school.

"Oh my goodness" the three exclaim at the same time.

"Oh my poor girl, are you telling me that if you marry someone you have lousy sex with, you are doomed for the rest of your life?" Christina pats my arm pitifully. I don't have time to answer her because a doctor and nurse enter the room to check on a patient who is on the gurney in the back.

"I have to get back to my shift, sorry Tris but this is kind of mandatory here" she says showing me the syringe "No problem Marlene, I guess I don't mind cutting my period, I can't imagine having to go through it in a dorm full of people" I tell her with embarrassment.

As Marlene cleans the area where she is going to inject me, Christina has a mischievous look on her face, she asks me "Tris, so you are being courted by someone?" I feel my stomach sink, I hadn't thought about Robert since I talked to him yesterday morning, much less had I thought about the horrible kiss he gave me, I can't believe that was my first kiss...

"Sort of" I reply without much encouragement but we are again interrupted by a nurse coming in with a stretcher rolling in and saying someone had fallen off the climbing wall. Christina invites Layla and I to some clothing stores, but we decline her invitation, we are too tired, I for one want to get to the dorms before the others, shower and get into bed to pray that tomorrow my body will have recovered enough to do it all over again.

"Okay, but tomorrow is another day, I want you to tell me all about your boyfriend" Christina winks at me and we part ways. My feet are heavy and I try to remember that I came here for a reason, what have I seen so far that is worth reporting if I don't know if today's torture was a direct punishment for me or in truth Dauntless is looking to kill her members from exhaustion?

A/N

Hey, it was a quick update because I had a little time off. By this point in chapter 7 I'm going to start begging you to please leave some feedback, I want to know if you're liking this or am I wasting my time? (I really know I'm not because I'm having so much fun writing it).

Please leave any comments/reviews please please please please please please, Four wouldn't like it if you ignored me hahaha.