Author's Note: Another chapter mostly written by Bellatrix, with some help from WatcherMagic. They've been pulling the weight of this story more than me lately, so please give them both your thanks for this (long) chapter!
Rimuru POV
"… And that'll be 840 Vil. Enjoy your hotcerberus, Miss!"
I gleefully hand over the cash in exchange for the fancy, tri-sausaged hotdog from a fairly upmarket grilling stand.
It looks tricky to eat, terribly impractical as far as hotdogs go, and no doubt I'll end up getting the exotic relish and condiments of this thing all over my mouth and clothes.
And chill air of autumn threatens to punish me for leaving my temperature resistance off, held at bay only by the cold-weather clothing that keeps me toasty and warm under layers of soft leather and fur.
'Tis a good day, in other words.
The Harvest Festival ended just yesterday, and while the way it ended was a bit stressful for me up to this very morning, today I can relax all I want and roam around town.
It's not unlike a town you might find in Tempest, save for the exciting air of danger and mischief that comes with the unruly nature of the Netherworld. I'm sure that if I veered even a little off the main street, I'd find all manner of demonic shenanigans going on.
My eyes glint as I quickly scan the nearby side-streets in search of my next source of entertainment.
Oooh, I see the signs of a commotion over there!
I head towards the group I spotted; they're three teenagers of various ages, with a bunch of unconscious demons lying around them.
The oldest is an impatient-looking girl, nearly an adult, who looks like she's one of the Netherworld's aquatic variety of demons.
The middle one seems to be a freshman of the terminally-cheerful variety and almost looks like a kid version of Guy, except his hair is a greyish-white.
And the youngest appears to be a middle schooler dressed in something not unlike my Demon Lord outfit, but even more black and with a scattering of spikes and chains, and most notable of all… he has an eyepatch.
"How many more quests are you gonna assign us, brat?" the oldest asks with venom in her tone.
The youngest strikes a pose. "The name's not 'brat'! It's 'Master of Darkness, Night and Ultimate Lethality'! But I permit you to call me 'Modnaul' for short."
Oh lord, he's one of those kids…
[[Master, if you're exasperated that he might be a 'chuunibyo', I feel I should remind you that you're the one attending school in black clothes with a grim backstory and dangerous magic that you keep carefully sealed away.]]
Wait, what are you saying?
[[At the same time you're also secretly a Demon Lord, which you like to subtly hint at whenever you want to show off. Also, you even excused fainting by implying that you were fending off your evil other self, not to mention how-]]
Hold on, no! This isn't a thing! I was never trying to make it a thing!
[[It's adorable now that you've brought it to my attention.]]
Stoooooop! I can't be a chuunibyo if I'm an adult who actually has all these crazy powers, right?!
I cover my face with my free hand, feeling my cheeks burn up from the burns of this annoying manas!
"What's that girl doing?" I hear the oldest of the teens ask.
"Isn't it obvious? She can sense the overwhelming dark power within me, and was compelled to block it from her sight!" Modnaul smugly replies.
That's not it!
"What are you three doing?" I try to deflect the attention off me. "I mean, was there a huge fight or something? There's like… twenty unconscious demons all around you."
"Just a bit of friendly inter-school competition!" the white-haired teen happily answers.
Modnaul crosses his arms with a chuffed grin. "I would like to introduce you to Razberry the Hellfire Emperor, and Irmament the Deep-Sea Witch! They've come from afar in hopes of recruiting me for the dark, overwhelming power I keep sealed within me for the safety of demonkind! To see which of their schools is most worthy to host me, I'm assigning them quests, quests like beating up as many adults as they can within 10 minutes."
"Oh, so you're just playing a game," I reply with a fond smile. It's cute seeing kids play make-believe, though a little less so when they manage to injure this many people.
The middle-teen Razberry laughs. "Of course! It's an exciting game to see whether I can recruit him for my goal of taking over Jackapo Institute, or if he'll choose to join those lame folks in Levialon Academy!"
Irmament, the older girl, sighs. "… And I'm here representing the Supreme Commander's interests. I intend to prevent this chaos gremlin from getting his hands on this unknown power."
Hang on, are these two just playing around or are they actually falling for the kid's delusions about himself?
It comes to my attention that demons might not have the concept of chuunibyo. If a kid on Earth acts like they have special powers, everyone understands that it's just pretend, because you can't learn magic on Earth no matter how badly you want it. But in the Netherworld, everyone has special magic powers, you wouldn't expect someone to be lying or deluded about it.
And it seems like Modnaul's managed to get people to fight over him, just by playing make-believe. It's a little surreal.
"Speaking of academy rivalry, which academy are you planning on joining?" Irmament asks me, looming over with curiosity.
"Planning on joining? I'm a Babyls student, just a little on the short side."
"Oh, that's a shame, I thought you'd be a good fit for Levialon's aesthetic. It's a shame you ended up in Babyls; I've heard the girls there are just terrible, that they've got some no-good maniacal weirdos."
They've never seemed that troublesome to me… I nonchalantly munch my hotcerberus.
"Hahaha! You're just saying that because Levialon is so lame! Being a no-good maniacal weirdo's the only way to survive in Jackapo!" Razberry teases the older teen.
"We learn many important things in Levialon that a miscreant like you could never appreciate, like order and discipline. A demon who doesn't give in to chaotic urges can become part of something much bigger than themself."
"I've got like, a thousand underlings! I'm far bigger than just myself!"
"That number's just silly, are you counting everyone in Jackapo as a subordinate? It only counts if their loyalty to you is enough to make them do something they wouldn't do on their own. As the First Lieutenant of the Supreme Commander, I have actual subordinates."
I giggle at this oh-so-typical teen behavior. "You're all sure talking yourselves up a lot, huh? I suppose I'll leave you all to your fantasies of grandeur…"
Before I can leave though, Modnaul tries to rope me into this as well.
"Hang on! You're from Babyls; that means we've got each of the big three schools represented here! So aren't you going to try to convince me to join your school? You'd be missing out on the mightiest dark powers of a generation!
"… Dark powers, huh? Alright, I'll bite."
You wanna call me a chuunibyo, Ciel? I've got a prank in mind that'll show you some real chuunibyo action!
[[Master, what are you planning?]]
Ohoho, just you wait and see…
What I've got planned is a little silly and embarrassing, but it's not like I'll meet any of these people again, so I'm fine with it.
I try striking a 'cool' pose. "I must warn you though, I too dabble in the dark arts. So let's have a contest of darkness against darkness, a battle that will paint this world in the blackest night. I ask that you remove your eyepatch and face me!"
"H-how did you know that my eyepatch is what seals my powers?"
"I've been in this game far longer than you, kiddo. I know all your moves."
Just as I thought, he's a textbook chuunibyo. He's not another Japanese kid who ended up in the Netherworld, right?
[[No, he is a fairly typical demon.]]
Modnaul grits his teeth, and tears away his eyepatch in a dramatic flourish.
Immediately, the air turns heavy, swirls of black aura surrounding us — the visual effect courtesy of me, of course.
"Ngh, I'll admit you're strong…" I recoil slightly, showing pain in my expression. "But can you handle this?"
I strike another pose (cringing at myself inside), as my eyes brighten like gold flames.
"Fool! You are nothing compared to my infinite power!" Modnaul gloats, striking a pose back at me.
"Wait, no!" I gasp, as tongues of black flame spontaneously manifest around me, threatening to ignite my clothing. "No, the power within your eye, it's–! Noooooo!"
I let out a final cry as I violently combust, the ravenous black flames leaving not even ash behind.
… Of course, I'm safely on a nearby rooftop, quietly chuckling to myself. Even my lunch is unharmed.
[[You truly are strange sometimes, Master.]]
Hey, when I see a chance for a good prank, I take it!
All the teenagers are stunned silent, staring at the empty space where I was. I'll drop down in a few seconds and show that I'm fine since I don't want to traumatize them or leave Modnaul thinking he murdered an innocent girl.
"… Wow, I killed her! Neat!" Modnaul happily says once he snaps back to reality.
Is he for real? Someone burned to death from making eye contact with him, an event he has no explanation for, and his reaction is 'neat'?! Y'know what, I'm just gonna let him live his life thinking this is a real thing that happened.
"Hahaha, that was uh… totally awesome, man!" Razberry shakily laughs, backing away a few steps. "So like, is that your bloodline ability?"
"No, I never even knew I could do that until today! My real bloodline ability is Spider Manipulation, with which I can summon a swarm of spiders to envelop any foe within my sight. They'll crawl into every nook and cranny, finding any place they can to bury their fangs."
If the other two teens were unnerved before, now they're really scared of this kid.
"Y'know, my school is really far away, come to think of it; you'd tire out your wings every day just getting there and back!" Razberry hastily backpedals on his recruitment plan.
Irmament isn't gonna let the kid end up in her school either though. "If you think Jackapo is hard to get to, Levialon is underwater. Totally impossible for someone who's lived on land their whole life, don't even try."
"All that water sounds nice and cool! Jackapo Institute is waaay too hot, I mean what was gramps thinking when he decided to build a school surrounded by lava?"
"The Supreme Commander is suuuper strict with everyone but himself, it wouldn't be a fun place for a free spirit like yourself…"
"You'd probably find the oddballs at Babyls more fun to be with!"
Razberry and Irmament have been backing away a little more with each excuse, and finally, they slip around a corner, breaking into a sprint once they're out of sight until they slip into the crowd.
Demon teenagers sure are an odd bunch… I ponder to myself as I watch from the roof.
There were a handful of random onlookers watching that whole bizarre scene, but they've all since scattered after watching me burn to a crisp.
Save for one: A grinning, gangling adult who's dressed almost as edgily as Modnaul, and approaches the kid now that no one else is around.
"I overheard your conversation, and as it happens, I think spiders are pretty cool."
He looks familiar. Have I met him before?
[[You encountered him as an entertainer in Walter Park. He and his colleague noticed you and Sabnock were looking for the most dangerous rides, so they rigged one with explosives in hopes of amusing you.]]
Oh right, those guys! How could I forget? Looks like he's healed just fine from being shot by Diablo, good for him.
Modnaul faces the man with eagerness in his eyes. "You think spiders are cool? Those two were so lame, they just ran away once I described my power! Now I'm sure I won't join Jackapo or Levialon."
"You don't have to go to one of the academies if you don't want to, y'know? With your personality, you could always swing it as a mercenary. I hear that demons who start young get very good at it."
"Sorry, but I've already made up my mind about what I want to do. That Babyls girl may have perished, but she faced death bravely and looked extremely cool doing so."
"Perished, huh…?" Atori mumbles, gazing up at the clouds.
At least, that's how it must seem to the kid — the man is actually looking right at me, having noticed me peeking out from my hiding spot. I give him a little wave.
"Yeah, she's earned my respect, and so has her school. I've decided that Babyls is worthy to host me as a student!"
"Good luck with that then. I'll be hoping to hear about great things from you."
Atori starts wandering off, but there's something I want to talk to him about, so I quickly finish off the last of my hotcerberus and wipe my mouth with my sleeve.
[[Master, that's…]]
Hey, Shuna isn't watching, and the stain just disappears!
[[*sigh*]]
I hop from roof to roof, following Atori until he's out of sight of that kid.
He's got an eye on me the whole while, so he isn't surprised at all when I slide down the roof tiles and land right in front of him.
"Atoriii, hey!"
"'Atori'? I'm sorry, have we met before?"
"We met at Walter Park, I just wanted to check if you were doing okay since my butler shot you and then your workplace got half-destroyed by a bunch of kaiju with you in the middle of it all. Seems like a lot for one guy to deal with."
What happened to Walter Park may have been justified, but it'd be a childish sense of justice if I ignored the 'boring' consequences of it. I'm sure Roosevelt must've let go of a lot of staff, and I'm not familiar enough with this world's economy to know if they can bounce back from that.
Atori however stares at me wide-eyed and perplexed. "… What are you talking about? I never worked at Walter Park. You must be imagining things."
"Huh? I definitely saw you there, working as a 'playmate', or whatever you folks called yourselves. My point is, I never forget a face, especially one with tattoos on it."
He breaks out into a menacing grin. "I see… So where's your dealer?"
"My… dealer?"
"Your drug dealer, obviously. Because you must'a found some real fun stuff to cook your brain like that, little lady."
He condescendingly ruffles my hair, and I pout, not understanding at all why he's gaslighting me when I was just wanting to get an idea of how the Walter Park staff are faring.
"Do you think it's possible someone altered your memories?" I quietly ask.
"You're the type who'll say anything except 'I was wrong', huh? I'll admit it's weird that you knew my name, but I'm sure I'd remember being part of something so exciting. I only heard about it on TV."
"Getting your brain tampered with is a threat you should take seriously! I am absolutely, definitively sure I saw you working at Walter Park, and you should be concerned that you don't remember."
"Listen, as funny as it is to see you freak out about this, I've got better things to be doing than talking to deluded young girls. So, I'll be off!" Atori continues on his way, walking at a brisk pace.
For real? I can't believe he's blowing me off without a care! If there's another mind manipulator like Ocho on the loose, it's really important that I get to the bottom of this. Those kinds of people have always been the bane of me.
"Wait, I remember, I have a photo of you!" I pull out my phone and start hastily scrolling through the group chat we used for Walter Park.
Atori doesn't wait, so I have to follow him at a jog since he's annoyingly tall like so many Netherworlders.
I scroll until I get to the point in the group chat where I know the photo was sent, only to find that the photo isn't there, nor any of the conversation around it.
What the hell?
[[I agree, this truly is bizarre.]]
It's one thing for someone to have their memory of an event erased, but erasing evidence that shouldn't even be feasible for a third party to tamper with… It's as though the event itself was erased.
"Didn't you say you had a photo to show me?" Atori sneers.
"I did! It's just… gone?"
"You mean it never existed in the first place."
This is getting absurd. Is there any possibility that my memories are false? That'd be a scary thought… I did corrupt a few memories by sloppily integrating a lot of clones, and I thought I fixed them all, but maybe this is one that slipped through the cracks?
[[I generate accompanying cryptographic hashes of your memories as they naturally form and change, such that I can later verify that there has been no tampering, corruption, or removal. Thus, I can confirm that your memories are all valid and intact.]]
Oh, that's a relief. Very clever of you!
Ciel seems chuffed about the praise.
[[I also managed to make the passive verification process far more efficient by coupling it to the random memory access that occurs while dreaming.]]
And this is her way of saying 'praise me more'.
Yes, yes, you're a smart manas.
I've been following Atori this whole time, and finally he comes to a stop outside a building with colorful lights and pleasant music in an area far-removed from the main road.
"Since you're so insistent on bothering me, you've left me with no other choice but to go to a place where only adults are allowed. Don't you feel just terrible for making me resort to this?" Atori smugly chuckles.
Taking a quick peek inside, it appears to be a succu-bar, a similar sort of place to Butterflies of the Night except that it's open even in the full light of noon.
"Ugh, fine have it your way…" I sigh in frustration as he walks right inside.
What an irritating and troublesome man, with an irritating and troublesome mystery…
I stand there for some time, looking into the succu-bar ponderously. I simply listen to the faintly-muffled music coming from inside, my thoughts starting to wander elsewhere.
…
Ciel, I think I'd like to–
[[No. Even in the Netherworld, it would be a scandal in your role as a 14-year-old noble girl!]]
Not that! The music had me thinking that I'd like to visit a place selling instruments, rather than chasing a distressing mystery with no leads on a day I had set aside for de-stressing.
[[Oh. My apologies for jumping to conclusions.]]
Ciel adds some markers in my field of vision showing where musical instruments can be purchased, so I pop my wings out and fly over to a store that looks promising.
My sudden interest is hardly random. The Music Festival will be the next and last exam of the year, and though I doubt I'll end up playing an instrument, I don't want to look like a fool who doesn't even know what instruments are used in the Netherworld. It was bad enough getting abysmal grades in the run-up to the exams.
I'd invite Iruma here to take a look with me since this matters for him too, but I think he had his own plans for the day, and I suppose he doesn't need to know how clueless I am about music theory. Demon Lords aren't expected to be musically-inclined, unlike stereotypical human nobles.
…
The quiet of the homely-feeling instrument store is occasionally interrupted by singular notes from a piano, played with trepidation by a complete novice. And the owner of the store watches on patiently, likely wondering if this novice will actually buy anything.
The novice, of course, is me.
[[Now, to play a major chord, you play the note 4 semitones above your starting key, and then the note 3 semitones above that one.]]
And what's a semitone?
[[A difference in pitch of a factor of the twelfth root of two.]]
Uh…
[[It's the next key, whether black or white.]]
Oh, so a C-major chord would be… here… here… and here?
The notes ring out one by one, turning into a nice warm sound as they're all played together.
[[Correct! Now try an A-major.]]
I came in here to see what new and exotic instruments my demonic classmates will be playing in the Music Festival.
Only to make a surprising discovery: Fundamentally, they're exactly the same as the ones I'm used to!
Though it's not that surprising given how much otherworlder influence is evident here. Like the 'Legendary Leaf' turning into a sakura grove, or the huge stash of Japanese manga Ameri somehow got her hands on.
So instead I've just sat down at a piano — one with black-and-white keys just like on Earth — and decided to learn some of the basics with the help of Ciel.
There's a piano back at the mansion, but being seen barely knowing the basics would be rather awkward around folks who see me as a Demon Lord who can do anything. Besides, it's nice to get out-and-about doing things.
[[No, that's the F-key. A is this one,]] Ciel points out as soon as I hit a note.
Why is the A-key in such an arbitrary place? Pianos are weird. Maybe we should try something with a 'cool factor', like a guitar.
[[A piano's layout is helpful for learning the fundamentals. Besides, you find Shuna's skill with the piano impressive, do you not?]]
Shuna's got a completely different aesthetic to me though! The simple elegance of a piano suits her perfectly. If I were to learn an instrument, I'd go for something show-offy.
[[But you're not trying to learn an instrument, you said that you just want to learn some fundamentals so you're not clueless during the Music Festival.]]
Yeah, true. So anyway, there's also a minor chord, right? How's that one work?
…
I keep playing for a while longer, being guided through the basics by the ever-helpful Ciel, but eventually I'm interrupted by the presence of an arrogant son-of-a-bitch who's probably here to throw my whole day into disarray.
[[Caution: Baal is approaching.]]
Ugh, seriously?! I'm willing to put up with his shenanigans some days, but I'm definitely not in the mood for it today.
It's also rather concerning that I've been tracked down to an arbitrary location like this; until now, Baal's only ever approached me by waiting where he knows I'll pass through, but evidently he can find me if he needs to.
Most likely, some random passer-by who reports to him saw me. I had been enjoying the feeling of going out in public undisguised since it's not something I can do in my own world, but it might be back to sneaking around for me after this.
I pretend to ignore the jingle of the bell above the shop door, and the heavy footfalls of the large demon coming up behind me, as though I'm too engrossed in this piano to notice.
"Yo, Rimuru. What's up?"
For a few seconds, I don't react at all to him. I can tell he's not approaching me out of sheer friendliness. His smile is strained and his attitude clearly forced, hiding anger and frustration. I bet he's sour that I didn't win the Harvest Festival after he 'trained' me. Honestly, this is the last thing I feel like dealing with right now.
Unfortunately, ignoring alone doesn't seem to be doing the trick.
When I finally answer the demon, I don't even turn to face him, hoping he'll catch the hint that I'm not interested in his shenanigans.
"… Figured I'd get a head-start on preparing for the Babyls Music Festival."
He doesn't seem bothered by my deliberate rudeness though. At least, no more bothered than he was from the start.
"I see, I see. So you're looking for an instrument then?"
"Nope, just browsing. I don't have any musical talent myself, but I figured I should try to familiarize myself with what everyone else will be using."
Baal throws his arm around my shoulder. "Hey now, don't say you don't have any talent. I've got an instrument I bet even you could play."
"If that's a pickup line, I'll kill you," I say with complete sincerity, standing upright from the piano stool and removing his arm from me.
"Pfft, don't flatter yourself. Nah, I'm talking about this thing."
He summons a large rifle into my hands, one almost as tall and heavy as me.
With this and his detection-warding sunglasses, he suddenly has the vibes of a sketchy back-alley weapons dealer.
"It's a great instrument, right?" Baal says jokingly. "It makes a very loud sound, and knocks the listener dead."
"An instrument of war, huh? Thanks, but no thanks. Guns aren't my style." I try to return the rifle to him.
"But it has such great specs, Rimuru!" He tries to push it back into my hands, and we have a little shove-o'-war. "The firepower of this thing is so awesome that you could, say, fire it clean through a cell door and nail a captive on the other side."
"That's an oddly specific example…"
"Oh really? And why do you think I gave that example, Rimuru?" Baal makes me take the rifle with one last push.
Come on, man… he's asking me to kill Ocho before he squeals.
"Dunno, maybe you've just got a messed-up imagination," I lie and try to play dumb.
That must have pissed him off because he grabs me by the hair and lifts me slightly off the ground.
Again, why the hair?!
"You know exactly what I mean, Rimuru. It's evident enough that you were the one to expose Ocho and get him captured."
"Ngh, fine… But I've got no respect for those who sneak around controlling the minds of others. They can die for all I care." I justify my actions with a smirk.
"Then kill him. That's what I'm asking you to do, unless you believe you could rescue him from the tight security he's no doubt under." Baal sets me back down.
"Him being 'interrogated' in a cell suits me just fine. He's out of everyone's hair, and it's good if he has a chance to change his ways one day."
"But it doesn't suit me given that he knows too much. And even putting your responsibility for Ocho's capture aside, I think you owe me a favor after you wasted my efforts as a tutor by throwing the win to your brother and spending the whole time stuffing your face like an idiot."
"A tutor? Please, I could only call what you did training if I was getting stronger or learned something new. I thought you were just running a fight club to keep me entertained."
Baal said his goal was to be the demon who allowed me to rise above Iruma and win the Harvest Festival, yet I learned absolutely nothing from him. I'm sure this isn't a case of 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks', this is just Baal being a trash tutor!
He gives a dark chuckle at my complaint. "If education is what you want, we could go outside and I could teach you a lesson right now. You're definitely due for one after your 'performance' in the Harvest Festival."
A lesson in 'respect' I bet… Yeah, I'm not looking to get thoroughly clobbered by his goons again, it's an unpleasant and degrading experience even with an impervious defense.
"Nope, I'm tired of dealing with you. I'm staying right here."
"But it's been over a week since you've visited my domain! I'm sure everyone's eager to greet you."
Ew. This kind of creepy buddy-buddy intimidation tactic reminds me of Guy, especially how he treated me back before I became a True Dragon. It's enough to make my skin crawl.
"Not today. I'm stressed enough as it is."
Baal flashes me a menacing grin. "Stressed is exactly how I want you to be."
He grabs me by the arm and immediately starts dragging me towards the door.
"Hey, let go!" I can feel anger bubble in me as I try to dig my heels into the carpet.
"Not a chance, girlie."
"I said let go!"
My self-control slips for just a moment, spilling out a flare of aura and sending arcs of black lightning crackling from my arm where Baal is holding it.
It's enough to give Baal pause, but he's still keeping a vice grip on me. "… That's a new reaction. You're definitely close to an evil cycle, right? I want to see it!"
[[The 'Thunder Lord' Baal has a resistance to electricity.]]
Yeah, duh! It's not like I was zapping him deliberately, I've just completely lost patience with this freak.
I hear the bell above the shop door ring as the shopkeeper flees the building, no doubt panicking over the power I just showed and deciding he doesn't want to intervene in a dispute between two high-ranking demons.
Thanks for the help, buddy…
[[Would you like me to assist you, Master?]]
Ugh, maybe…
Escaping Baal here would only serve to make him even more obsessed with me, as I'd be showing I'm even more powerful than he thinks and he'd refuse to let me think I beat him.
But I definitely don't have it in me today to keep my cool playing along with Baal. Even now I feel the urge to grab him by the wrist and start smashing him into things until he's like a boneless ragdoll. If I tried to endure another shameless beating I might just end up melting the flesh off of every demon in the vicinity.
It's incredibly frustrating having to pretend I'm so weak and helpless!
There's another jingle of the bell as Baal drags me out the door, spreading his wings in preparation to drag me to a very terrible 'training session'.
… Ciel, please call Sullivan for help. I'm not eager to expose my dealings with Baal to him, but if it's not safe to run away or play along, then I need to leverage my social status.
[[There is no need for all that. I will subjugate Baal myself, right here and now.]]
Ciel doesn't sound happy at all, which I know very well is incredibly dangerous.
Wait wait wait, slow down there! How am I gonna explain it if one of the Thirteen Crowns gets hurt?
Ciel doesn't seem to be listening though, and I brace myself for whatever retaliation she has in mind for Baal.
Her deadly blow comes the very moment before Baal takes off.
"I knew I sensed her mana just now. Who are you, and what exactly are you doing with my daughter?"
The woman known as Amane emerges from the miscellaneous folks on the street, midnight-blue hair swaying with each step.
Her voice betrays no panic over her child, only an icy, disdainful regard for the man before her.
Baal was wholly unprepared for this development. "Me? I–"
"You gave her a gun and now you're trying to drag her off against her will! What kind of an awful person are you?"
"Just leave us be, this isn't any of your-"
"Let go of her, now. I know my daughter's been cavorting around with some strange man for a while now, and after seeing this I've got half a mind to make her tell Border Control exactly who you are and what you've been up to."
Baal tenses up. He approached me today with a request to silence Ocho, so I'm sure he doesn't want me telling Henri anything.
Oh, I think I see the play here. Ciel's threat is that 'Amane' doesn't know this is Baal, so she could carelessly blow the whole situation up without knowing who she'd be making an enemy of. But since she doesn't know, Baal has the option to defuse the situation without Amane finding out anything.
[[Precisely. We can watch him make excuses and squirm like the worm he is. Though you also have the option of helping Baal out of this situation as a peace offering.]]
Wow, you've completely turned the tables on him…
A peace offering sounds like what I need here, so I go on and lie "It's not like that, he just wanted to take me out hunting! I said I was tired after the Harvest Festival but he's being way too insistent…"
"I'll believe his good intentions if he's not forcing you to come with him. Otherwise, he's no better than a perverted kidnapper."
Baal considers the situation for a moment, then he relents, letting go of my arm. I scurry behind Ciel now that I'm free, playing up the dependent-daughter role to really sell this little act.
"My apologies, I must have not noticed how tightly I was holding her…" he says insincerely.
"Keep your hands to yourself if you don't wish to learn the extent of our family's connections. Come now Rimuru, we're going."
Ciel teleports us to the mansion garden, finally putting a clean end to that messy situation.
I didn't have to reveal any of my true strength, make an implausible escape and incense Baal further, use powers I consider taboo, or give in and spend the rest of the day getting smashed into the dirt by brutish demons.
Genuinely relieved, I give Ciel a tight hug, letting the rifle fall into the grass.
She seems unsure how to react until she settles for a gentle pat on the head.
"Do you still think Velzard might have been a better choice for the role of Amane?" she asks, a little smugness coming through.
"Nuh-uh… You really are great, Ciel. The best partner I could ask for."
"That wasn't quite what I was asking, but…"
Ciel seems content with the compliment, and I keep hugging her for a little while longer.
Hopefully the rest of my day can go a bit more normally.
Lead POV
The sounds of button mashing and heated discussion fill the living room of Sullivan's mansion as I try to beat one of the most intense and brutally challenging games in my collection, with Iruma as my wingman.
And just what is this nigh-unbeatable game?
The romance visual novel Doki Doki Demon Memorial.
"Gah! Betty's friend is upset that they're spending less time together because of me!" I complain as a bomb icon pops up on-screen.
"Uhhh, what's in your inventory? Flowers? Give her those!" Iruma advises in a desperate attempt to bail me out.
"Yes! Wait, that was too romantic a gesture, and now Betty thinks I'm trying to start a harem!"
"W-what if you, um, tried taking things to a-another level with Betty to show you're serious about her?"
"You're right. We need to go with a high-level date option!" I declare and make the options pop up on-screen.
[ Formal dinner with parents] [ Test of courage ] [ XXX ]
"Let's go with 'XXX', it sounds mysterious and exciting!" Iruma eagerly suggests.
I barely hold in my laughter. "You really need to stop doing these things! You're so pure that you've looped back around and become even lewder than Camui."
"Eh? Did I say something wrong?"
"Yes. XXX means- Wait, did I select it by mistake?!"
On its own, the game's started going down a dangerous dialogue path; our character getting chewed out for an illicit suggestion.
"No, no, go back! Gaaaah!" I press buttons in vain, hoping to find one to undo this disaster as I haven't saved at all.
Betty: "Seriously! We've been dating for two months and you're only 16! If that's what you suggest now, then what perverse plans could you possibly hold for the future?"
[ Holding hands ] [ Marriage ] [ I wanna make soup stock from your panties ]
"'I wanna make soup stock from your panties'?! Even Camui is above that! Why is that even an option?!"
"Lead, I think you should refund this game… Wait, why'd you select it?!"
"Huh? No, I– … Oh, no…"
Our character just spouted that atrocity of a line. If his reputation was cascading down a flight of rapids before, now it's gone straight over a waterfall.
I look at the console in horrified realization: It's an expensive model I'd previously only read about in a magazine, but of course a noble like Sullivan wouldn't think twice about buying it for his grandson.
And in the magazine, I read that…
"Iruma! This console has voice recognition!"
"No way! So I picked 'XXX' by talking about it? And it's something super-bad?!"
"As a date suggestion in this game, yeah! And when I said the thing about the soup stock…"
"Nooo!"
"We're doooomed!"
Our character is dragged to the old guillotine at the edge of the garden, kicking and screaming as he's pushed down into the pillory.
Many of the love interests of the game have gathered to watch with evil smiles, making snide comments about us.
The cutting blade falls.
GAME OVER: YOU HAVE BEEN EXECUTED FOR YOUR SINS.
…
We both sigh heavily.
And then start laughing.
"Who could have guessed it'd end like that, huh?"
"Haha, man, sorry for ruining it," Iruma apologizes with a chuckle.
"Hey, we're equally-guilty there. And it's pretty cool that we get to do this at your place, it truly is the life to kick back in a mansion and play games on a huge screen."
I asked Iruma if he wanted to hang out today, and when he asked whether I wanted to go to my place or his, I obviously decided on his place! I mean, I got crowned the Young King just yesterday, of course I'm gonna be in a mansion rather than in a cramped apartment with my trashy alcoholic sister!
Sure, I probably shouldn't be here, since Rimuru must know by now how harshly I treated her clones, not to mention the way I teased her while drunk on victory last night. Confronting her now would be as suicidal as Camui's regular antics.
But it's fine. Iruma said Rimuru was gonna be out today, so–
"Irumaaa, I'm back early! Some guy was giving me trouble," I hear Rimuru call out from the foyer, and my blood runs cold.
Shit! Oh shit! Gotta hide!
"Don't tell her I'm here!" I harshly whisper to Iruma.
Thinking fast, I grab a blanket and and roll under the couch while wearing it, hoping I'll just look like a blanket that got misplaced even if Rimuru does catch a peek of me.
Huh. It's clean even under the couch. Having butlers must sure be nice.
I tense up as I hear Rimuru's light footsteps approach.
"Hey there Rimuru! Just… Just playing some games," Iruma stumbles over his words, clearly feeling awkward about having to pretend I'm not here.
"Is this some kind of gal game? You practicin' your charms to use on Ameri?" Rimuru asks in a teasing tone, flopping onto the couch above me.
"Shush! Don't say it like that!"
I hear Rimuru laugh, and the pop of a can.
"Um, hang on, you shouldn't–"
"What, is noon too early to knock back a few? Don't judge, I've had a rough day."
"No, I mean…"
The two go quiet for a moment.
"… Oh shit, whoops!" Rimuru blurts out. "Can't have this, then… Alright, come on out, Lead."
I've been spotted?! Mother, father… this may be the day I die.
I worm my way out from under the couch, having lost the use of my limbs after rolling myself in this blanket like a fool.
"How'd you know it was me? Iruma didn't even say anything," I sheepishly ask.
Rimuru grins. "I've got good eyes, y'know? I could demonstrate with your bag: In there you've got–"
"Don't do that! I believe you!"
"That sure was a fast reaction. Anyway, I'm guessing you were hiding under there because you feared some kind of retribution from me?"
"Uh, pretty much…"
"Hey, I'm not so uptight that I can't enjoy some banter." Rimuru grabs the end of the blanket and unfurls me from my fluffy prison. "Honestly, someone fretting about whether they've offended a scary demon or not is welcomingly mundane after everything I've had to deal with lately."
"Like the guy who you said was giving you trouble?" Iruma asks.
"Yeah, that was a pain." Rimuru kicks her boots off, which vanish in mid-air, and she flops onto the couch next to Iruma.
"What happened exactly? I know you don't like me worrying about you, but it's hard not to if you-"
"Some noble asked me to assassinate someone for him, I told him to sod off, he tried to physically harass me into it, then Mom showed up and scared him off before things got violent. That's all that happened."
"'That's all'? Rimuru, that… sounds pretty bad."
"I'll admit I've let things get a little out of hand, but I'm not in over my head or anything. There were a dozen ways I could have dealt with that situation, you know!"
"Right, right. I should've figured."
Iruma seems satisfied by Rimuru's answer, but I noticed something a little odd about it.
"When you say you let things get out of hand, does that mean this is all part of some plot of yours?" I ask, feeling curious about that wording.
Maybe weird plots are just something nobles get up to in their spare time, I'm sure it's not all mansions and butlers and overpriced consoles.
If there is a plot though, Iruma isn't in on it, because he jumps on my question.
"Hey, yeah, Lead's got a point! Is this happening because you're up to something crazy?"
Rimuru flinches at the accusation.
"It's just a little prank…" she mumbles, avoiding eye contact with her brother.
"The last time a prank of yours got out of hand it gave me nightmares! If you don't tell me what this one is, I'm gonna assume it's at least that bad."
Whatever that prank was, it must have been something truly awful, as Rimuru wilts a little under the pressure.
"It's nothing that bad, I promise… It's just that some back-to-basics demons really want to recruit me, so I've been stringing them along since they'll let me beat them up as much as I like. It's a good workout, no?"
That was just about the most Rimuru answer I could have possibly expected.
"Rimuruuu! Professor Kalego said that those people could make really bad things happen to us! Why would you provoke them?" Iruma whines.
"Fiiine! I'll stop getting involved with them! I was getting pretty fed up with it anyway, especially now that they're trying to put me to work even though they haven't won me over at all."
"You mean it?"
"Uh-huh, I'm done, I've had my fun. Anyway, what's with–"
"Wait!" I interject. "Before you change the subject, I have a question!"
Rimuru frowns. "This wasn't something I was keen to discuss, so you get one question."
"Have you met the Six Fingers? Because if you have, that'd be like, the coolest gossip ever."
"No? I don't think so. I haven't seen any suspicious bands of six powerful demons, and if I've seen any of them on their own there's nothing that identifies them as the Six Fingers."
"C'mon, surely you could have asked about them!"
"Even if I was interested, I'd have to earn their trust first, and that'd mean doing something to earn their trust. Like breaking the limbs of some poor Border Control officers and tearing up their wings. I could never do that."
"The way you say it makes it sound more like a wouldn't than a couldn't…"
Rimuru gives a wry smile. "Well now, you asked me a question, so I get to ask you a question, and you'd better answer honestly…"
I gulp in anticipation. There's a firmness to her voice that makes it sound like she's about to ask me something truly dreadful.
"… Are you playing a gal game to ease your broken heart after Elizabetta refused to let you join her team?"
Uh…
"No, not at all! Doki Doki Demon Memorial is a hardcore gaming challenge, no man's heart would be eased by this!"
Iruma looks at me in confusion. "You were really interested in Betty though, and she's kinda like Elizabe–"
"SSSHHHH! No! The characters depicted in this game are entirely fictitious, and any similarity to real people is entirely coincidental! It says so right on the box!"
"Oh really? Why do you seem so invested in it then?" Rimuru teases.
"Because! It's a brutal trial that crushes even gaming pros without a single shred of mercy! Even I've never managed to beat it, and that's what I'm utterly determined to do! I'm in it for the challenge, nothing else."
Rimuru stares at me doubtfully.
"There's no way a romance game is that hard. I used to play them a lot and they were the easiest games ever."
"Well this one is different!"
"I'll have a go at it then, gimme the controller."
"Now hold on just a minute!" I raise my palm to stop her. "This is the kind of game where you play as a guy trying to woo girls. You can't go the other way around."
"I don't mind that."
"And the game will say awful things to you for no reason, so you can't go putting a sword through the TV."
"What kind of a maniac do you take me for? … Actually, no, most of our extended family react violently to insults, so you've got a point… But I'm still sane and reasonable."
Note to self: Do not meet these people, they make Rimuru think she's sane.
"Fine, I've given my warnings. What happens from here is on you." I reluctantly pass Rimuru the controller.
Rimuru boots up a new save, and the intro cutscene of the game rolls.
There is a legend passed down at Doki Doki Demon Academy. It is said that a couple borne of a confession under the old guillotine at the edge of the garden will live happily ever after. "It was fate that brought us together in this spot. Shall we join together in marriage?"
I guide Rimuru through how the game works, and it takes a fair while to get through the non-interactive opening scenes.
But soon enough we come across the first romance option, the classmate Shiori. I tell Rimuru to invite her to the park, and soon we get to the first real hurdle of the game.
Shiori: "I wonder if this outfit suits me?"
[ Super cute! ] [ Yeah, I guess… ] [ You're only allowed to wear that around me. ]
Rimuru looks disinterested in the cute high-school girl, and she picks the most impassive response from the three given.
"Yeah, I guess…"
Shiori: "You don't sound so sure… it's alright if you aren't impressed, my mother helped me pick this out."
[ Hopefully she does a better job next time. ] [ No, you're beautiful in that! ] [ It suits you fine, it doesn't need to blow me away. ]
"It suits you fine, it doesn't need to blow me away."
Shiori: "You think so? That's annoying, I wanted to make it clear that I'm a step above you, even if we're the same rank and going out on a date. Next time I'll have to give it my all!"
"'Next time'? This is dull. I'm not even interested in her, yet I've gotten her to expect a second date right at the start of the first," Rimuru mumbles in boredom. "Where's the brutal challenge you were talking about?"
She doesn't seem to realize how amazing what she just did was.
"You threaded the needle! She would've emotionally and physically destroyed your character if you didn't pick those exact dialogue options," I explain.
"Huh. Guess I just got lucky."
"It's just beginner's luck, this game will bear its fangs soon!"
But as Rimuru continues playing, that 'luck' goes on for a suspiciously long while.
For each interaction that she clears without a single critical mistake, I remember how I picked a wrong choice there and my character got chewed out or even died. It took me countless failures to learn the safe paths through this game. And yet, on her first playthrough…
"Hey, Rimuru, are you cheating somehow? Things should have gone wrong for you almost immediately as a first-timer."
"Oh? How do you propose I'm cheating?"
"I know your sight's not limited to just vision, so you could be looking up answers on your phone from a place where we can't see it. Or you could have made a clone appear in another room to help you out. Are your clones linked telepathically, and can you make them appear far away from you?"
Rimuru gives a contemplative hum. "Diablo told me you're a decent strategist. That's probably why you can't beat this game."
"Huh?! What's that supposed to mean?!"
That should be an advantage if anything! Why would being dumber help?
"Oh, I have a theory," she chuckles. "Iruma, you're popular with the girls. Is that because your words and actions towards them are part of some clever seduction strategy?"
"Umm, no?" Iruma startles at the accusation. "I wouldn't want to do anything like that… Wait, am I doing that and not realizing?!"
"Hahaha, nah! But some guys are like that, whenever they talk with girls they're always thinking about how to score. I didn't realize until coming to Babyls just how common it is."
She seems to be trying to play this off as something funny, but there's clearly some vitriol hidden under those words; I know as I've seen for myself just how creepy people can be towards her. Most memorably that time some rich boy offered Rimuru money to go out with him since I got to watch Iruma pick a fight over it and nearly get punched in the face.
It must be the punishment for being born cute. Would Camui be cured of his ways if there was a spell to turn him into a cute girl? … No, absolutely not, he'd exploit it in every way possible.
"I get what you're saying, but what's your point?" I try to get things back on subject. "Figuring out what to say to charm girls is what you're supposed to do in a romance game!"
"Yes! But what if the game developers had a chip on their shoulder about guys who are always trying to score?"
I gasp in realization. "They'd make the game punish you for trying too hard to win the affection of girls, hoping the players learn a lesson from it… I understand now! Doki Doki Demon Memorial is fuelled by pure spite!"
"That's right!" Rimuru eggs me on.
"And only a pure maiden with no interest in girls can beat it!"
"Hey, no, don't go calling me that. I just mean you need to show some temperance."
…
Eventually Rimuru gets to a scene in Professor Vinylla's class, which is actually a vestige of a short-lived piece of gaming history.
As the Three Greats are all heads of schools, they one day decided that all video games should have some level of educational merit, which was a complete disaster for many game genres and so after six months they relented on the requirement.
Doki Doki Demon Memorial's release date happened to be during those six months, meaning it has this pointless and boring lecture scene.
Ironically, it's the first time while playing that Rimuru hasn't looked bored.
"Hey, is this teacher one of the romance options?" she asks with a hint of eagerness in her eyes.
"I… um… Maybe? But you–"
Stay behind after class to help clean up
"Now hold on a minute! Weren't you going for Shiori?"
"Only because you told me to. If I'm going to play this kind of game, I might as well have fun with it."
"I'm pretty sure that route only exists as a joke, you shouldn't-"
Ask her if she's free this evening
Professor Vinylla: "My! How precocious!"
"Why?!" I protest against Rimuru's decision to throw the game for a laugh after she was doing so well.
"Hey, she's a nice lady! I think she's pretty well-worth pursuing. With that gentle demeanour, that tall figure, that faintly-tired smile reflecting at least a century of wisdom… What's not to love?"
Surely this is just a dumb joke right? There's no way she actually…
The way Iruma has his face ashamedly buried in his hands tells me he's seen this side of Rimuru before.
Ah, I see now… Iruma shares in my pain.
I have a big sister, and though she puts on a respectable front in public, she's a complete disaster at home. A rude, alcoholic, romantically-desperate slob.
Now I see that Iruma's sister, for all her lofty status, is possibly even worse behind-the-scenes. Cavorting with terrorists for her amusement, attracted to women ten times her age, and I'd be a complete idiot to not understand she was planning to drink away her troubles until she realized there was a guest over.
Myself and Iruma, we truly are brothers in spirit.
…
Thirty minutes later, this teacher-romance nonsense is still happening, and it's only getting worse.
"Rimuru, you're gonna get that poor teacher fired… How is the game even letting you do this?" I mumble in exasperation.
"Cool it. It's just a silly game, let me have my fun." Rimuru says, then sighs and wistfully mutters, "If only it were this easy in real life…"
What is she even talking about? I'm sure if Rimuru wanted a boyfriend she could get one!
I stare at her like the crazy person she is, but Rimuru is too focused on the game to notice.
Things just keep getting out of hand too. For all our theorizing about this game being made to spite those who focus too hard on the chase, Rimuru's been able to go full steam ahead without any backlash.
I'm actually scared this is the way I'll see Doki Doki Demon Memorial be beaten for the first time.
The day after a third date with a teacher, Rimuru's character runs into Shiori, the now-rejected love interest.
And boy, does she look mad.
Shiori: "Hey, what gives? You've been ignoring me for a while now, and people have started saying you're some weirdo who's dating a teacher. I want some clear answers out of you about what's going on, right here and right now."
"I'm sorry, I've had time to think about what kind of relationship I want, and my heart is set on Professor Vinylla."
Shiori: "… YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH MY MOTHER?!"
We all stare at the screen in bewilderment at this big plot reveal.
"… Who saw this coming?" I ask.
None of us raise our hands.
After snapping out of the shock, Rimuru enthusiastically declares "Clearly, we're in the final stretch of this arc! If we can get over this unexpected hurdle, victory is in the bag!"
"Please, no, this game will forever be tarnished if you beat it this way!" I try to calm her down.
Rimuru just grins and continues.
"Wait, it wasn't cheating! I only went on a couple of dates with you before I started dating your mother, who's a wonderful–"
GAME OVER: YOU WERE STABBED TO DEATH.
All the hope and expectations are wiped from Rimuru's face in an instant.
"… Wha…?"
"You totally had that coming," I tease.
"Isn't that a bit much though?" Iruma mutters.
Rimuru finally catches back up to reality ."… That ending is such BS!" The controller dangerously creaks in her hands. "Not only do you get screwed by information you couldn't possibly have known, but you can't even fix it by going back to a previous save, since the Vinylla route is doomed if you dated Shiori at the start of the game!"
"I warned you about this game, Rimuru! I told you it's like this!"
"It keeps happening, I swear it's unbeatable!" Iruma flops back on the couch despairingly, as we already lost three times even before Rimuru showed up.
Any sense of spirit and motivation flees the room as we all just laze about and sigh.
Man… A losing streak sucks, but a pro-gamer like me knows how to quickly bounce back from one.
"Hang in there, I'm gonna see about getting us some inter-game snacks."
I set out to find Opera, intending to also cross off another item on my checklist for things to do at a mansion: Order a butler around and have him bring me food!
Soon enough I find him, and I make my request.
"I can't help you, I'm terribly busy with laundry," Opera lazily answers from his chair with a cup of tea in hand.
"… You're clearly not–"
"Sooo very busy. Why not ask the other butler?"
"Diablo? No way, he's scary!"
{{You are correct,}} his voice smugly echoes in my mind.
"Gaaahhh! What?! How?! Huh?!" I look around in all directions.
Was that telepathy? Aaaagh, get out of my head!
Opera's cat-ears perk up, and he gets up from his chair to leave. "As concerning as it is that your brain appears to be spontaneously melting, I actually am busy with the laundry now. One of the machines is making an awful racket.
That's just a lie! I can't hear the laundry machines from here at all! Don't leave me to this… mind demon!
Opera POV
*Clank… clink-clank…*
I attentively watch the washing machine, trying to figure out what this faint clattering coming from it is.
It'll be a pain to repair the washing machine if it's broken, so I really hope that Master Iruma just carelessly left a piece of equipment in the pocket of the outfit he wore for the Harvest Festival.
…
I keep staring until I catch a glimpse of something.
There it is!
In under a second, I throw open the door of the washing machine, grab the tiny object that was clattering around, and then slam the door closed before any water can spill out.
I dangle the device in front of me, trying to identify it.
It looks like a very small electronic device, battered to pieces from being tumbled around and now only held together by the wires inside. Certainly a suspicious thing to find, as I can't imagine what anyone in this household would be doing with such a device.
"Lady Ciel, if you're listening, I would like to ask that you take a look at something," I call out in a slightly raised voice.
At first nothing happens, and I assume she didn't hear me. But then I get the sense of being watched, analyzed, scrutinized.
Then Ciel appears before me, suddenly holding the remains of the device in her own hand. After only a moment of contemplation, she's able to restore it to an intact form.
"It appears this is a microphone, designed to discreetly attach to objects and transmit sound a short distance away. You found this in the washing machine, correct?"
"Yes, it was making a terrible racket. Are you suggesting someone was spying on Master Iruma? Only his clothes and mine are being washed right now."
Ciel shows the slightest hint of alarm. Given how rarely she breaks her neutral expression, this must be something very bad.
An image appears in the air between us, showing Iruma sobbing in a cave with Rimuru attempting to comfort him.
Iruma did mention in last night's retelling of his experiences that he had a dangerous fall after being startled by a hallucination, but he doesn't look 'startled' here so much as completely terrorized. He must have not wanted to go into detail about this part of the event.
"B-but, they all turned on me! They didn't want me around because they found out I'm human! Th-that's why y-you… you…" the Iruma in the image stammers amidst his tears.
My eyes go wide. Forget bad, this is an emergency.
"If that microphone was attached to Master Iruma's outfit for the Harvest Festival, then it's leaked that he's a human! So then, do you have any idea who was listening?" I frantically ask Ciel.
I may find Rimuru's cold-blooded companion unnerving, but as Lord Sullivan's butler and security devil, I need to put faith in her for Master Iruma's safety.
Kalego POV
At the deepest level of Babyls's basement lies a filthy room that's gone completely unused for years, with rough stone walls serving as a display for many cruel instruments of torture.
This room has gone unused for years… until now.
Strapped to a chair in the center is the criminal who has finally given just cause to open up this chamber of nightmares of the flesh, the meek Ocho who evaded detection so well.
Here as his torturer is Marbas March, a professor of the subject.
Here as his interrogators are myself and the lie-detecting Shichiro Balam.
Robin is here too, not for any purpose but to avoid the taboo of snatching a demon's prey away from them. He does seem rather anxious being here, however.
"Good morning~! Or should I say, good afternoon — you sure passed out for a long while, and I wanted to let you get plenty of rest so you'd be wide awake for this~!" Professor Marbas taunts, as his newest victim looks up at him woozily.
"Oh, fuck…" Ocho mutters as he realizes where he is, and tests the straps holding him in place.
His movements become frantic as panic seeps into his mind, but his restraints prevent him from budging an inch.
"There'll be plenty of time for thrashing around soon! First, Professor Kalego would like to ask you some questions about the items that you had on your person."
Marbas circles around behind Ocho, inviting me to step forward.
"Let's make this simple, this room is enough of a mess without getting your blood everywhere. My first question for you is, what's this?" I hold out a notebook that describes a number of Babyls students, particularly their behaviors.
"Screw you! I'm not saying… a… word…" Ocho protests, only to trail off as he feels the sharp steel of shears touch against his ear.
"You can keep your secrets, or you can keep your ears, what'll it be?" Marbas sadistically chuckles.
"Ngh… Fine, it's the students that I thought could return to origins."
I briefly flip through it and then stuff it in my pocket. "Useless."
The notebook is anything but useless, I intend to give it to Professor Murmur since these are at-risk students he should lend an ear to. But there's no reason to let this fool think he's earned himself any mercy.
"Next, this flask," I announce as I hold a small vial of blackish-orange liquid. "What is this for?"
"Poison! Take a swig, asshole!"
"You first. Now what… is this?" I produce the third and final unidentified item, a small device with buttons.
As soon as Ocho sees it, his face lights up in a wide grin.
"Oooh, that! It's a recording, those 'Sullivan twins' were having a very interesting conversation! Why not give it a listen?"
I've had an eye on Shichiro for any cues signaling that Ocho is lying, and I notice his eyes widen slightly as Ocho says that. He raises a hand to stop me before I can play the recording.
"Hold it. He seems a little too eager for us to listen. What if it's an informational hazard, like an auditory Bowing Palome?"
"That seems somewhat far-fetched…" I mutter in reply.
"I still think we shouldn't all hear this at once, just in case of the worst. May I listen to this on my own in the other room?"
"Very well." I hand over the device without much thought.
…
Shichiro is gone for about five minutes, and his report on what he heard is thus:
"It was nothing more than Iruma suffering and experiencing a mental breakdown from Orobas's Trauma ability, and then his sister finding him and calming him down. There was some interesting information to be gleaned from it, but nothing of particular importance."
"Then since you've confirmed there's no 'informational hazard' present, I'd like to be able to hear this now." I offer my palm, waiting for him to return the device.
His brow furrows. "You'll have to take my word for what was said. Unfortunately, I had trouble controlling my strength while listening to my favorite student go through such torment."
He raises and slightly opens his fist, fragments of the recording device pouring out like sand.
Ocho stares in horror and then starts yelling in deranged amusement. "… Ahahahaha! You already knew, didn't you?! You sneaky motherfucker! There was definitely something of 'particular importance' in that recording that you 'accidentally' destroyed!"
"Shichiro! Are you really destroying evidence in an interrogation like this? You, a pillar of this school's honesty and integrity?" I chide in disbelief.
"It was nothing you wouldn't have found out already if you were more attentive and approachable with your students," Shichiro grumbles.
Tch. Is he bragging about how he learned more about the Sullivan twins than me, their own homeroom teacher? Well, I don't coddle, I discipline. I can accept that he'd get closer to them and find out things I couldn't.
"Tell him what it was, Gargoyle! Tell him! Tell– GAAAAAAAAH!" Ocho's obnoxious yelling turns to screams at just the click of a remote.
"Such loud screaming~! And to think we're only on the light stuff, like electric shocks!" Marbas taunts, his finger still holding down the button.
Eventually, Ocho goes quiet as he has no more air in his lungs to scream with, so Marbas gives him a moment to catch his breath.
And then he does it again, for even longer.
Let this lesson be burned into you, fool: Those who threaten this school or our students will receive a most gruesome education.
"That's enough, I don't want to wait for him to wake up if he passes out." I put a stop to the electrocution for now.
Drawing ragged breaths, Ocho glares at the floor hatefully.
"In the name of the Cult of Two, I swear… if this is my fate, I'm taking someone down with me…"
Those words put all of us on edge. Does he mean he has a way to kill himself that would endanger those in this room?
Just in case, I prepare Cerebus for an attack.
However, Ocho seems amused by our alarmed reactions.
"Heh, did you think I was gonna blow myself up or something? Nah. Listen up, fuckers! That Iruma of yours is–!"
*BLAM-BLAM*
Two deafening gunshots rip through the thick metal door before Ocho can finish his sentence, one aimed at his head and one aimed at his heart.
Cerberus narrowly blocks one as I sensed the danger at the last possible moment, but the other…
Our captive surely had crucial information in that head of his, but now that head is painted all over the back wall.
Dammit! An assassin, now of all times?
I tear through the door, Cerberus looking in all directions with its three heads.
"Find the assassin! Don't let them get away!" I instruct the alarmed professors still back in the room.
Shichiro promptly stands to attention, but Marbas and Robin are crouched low against the wall, staring between the headless corpse and the doorway with wide eyes.
I give up immediately on getting those two to help in the search. They're decently strong demons, but Robin's still green and Marbas isn't much of a fighter. The threat of being shot dead without warning if they leave this room must seem very real to them in an ambush like this.
So I race up the tunnels alone to try to block off the exit to this section of Babyls, while Shichiro investigates the section itself for anyone who might be hiding.
…
After some time spent running around and searching, we have to conclude that whoever killed Ocho is long gone, no doubt having reached the exit before me.
I make a call to Marbas and Robin to let them know the threat's passed and that they should get to cleaning the mess down there, so I'm left with Shichiro to try and deduce what just happened.
Shichiro makes a noise of frustration that rumbles through his mask. "I suppose this means Ocho is a dispensable part of a wider organization, and they've decided to cut him off to protect themselves."
"I wouldn't be so quick to assume that. It could be a coincidence, but I didn't sense the assassin's killing intent until the moment Ocho tried to say something about Iruma. It's as though they weren't sure whether to pull the trigger until that very instant."
"Your instincts are as impressive as always, I never picked up on the killing intent at all."
I acknowledge the compliment with a simple nod. "Tell me, Shichiro: I won't ask what it was you heard on that recording, but do you believe Ocho was trying to reveal that information, and is it something that could harm Iruma or his family?"
Shichiro's brow furrows in a frown. "… Yes. To both questions."
"Then the assassin was most likely someone from the Chairdemon's household. Almost certain, I would say."
"So was it Opera, then? … No, maybe not. He has no subtlety, and it looks like our assassin was trying to be discreet."
"I feel like I'm too wary of Opera to have not caught him in the act. Although, if it was Opera, he probably wouldn't even have fled the scene, and would instead be watching from just out of sight to see our reaction."
I glare suspiciously at a nearby row of unused lockers. I'm fairly confident I should have picked up on whether someone was in there, but…
Following a gut feeling, I throw open one of the doors.
I stare at the back wall of the locker. Why do I feel surprised it's empty?
The empty space is so distracting that I find myself staring for a few seconds before I notice the tall, heavy-caliber rifle propped-up inside the locker.
"Looks like we found the murder weapon," I say as I take it, finding it a little odd that it was there of all places.
Shichiro looks it over with interest. "Really? Hmm… I was thinking our assassin might be Rimuru, but that girl would be sent flying if she tried to use a weapon like that."
"We have no place to speculate on who exactly it was anyway," I mutter with a sigh of resignation. "If a household of the Three Greats chooses to eliminate someone they deem a threat to themselves, even us demons of the eighth rank have no reason to pry."
Sullivan's protectiveness of his grandson cost us a valuable source of intelligence, and if I complain I'll just be ignored.
It's a frustrating reality, but the hierarchy of the Netherworld is absolute.
Rimuru POV
Fully invisible, I step out of thin air into the lowest level of Babyls, slightly panicked as I stand before the grim metal door.
Ten seconds ago I was just casually whiling away the afternoon playing a video game with Lead and Iruma, and then Ciel alerted me to an emergency that could lead to people discovering that Iruma's a human!
Ciel instantly completes her analysis and reports on the situation.
[[Professors Kalego, Robin, and Marbas are in the interrogation cell with Ocho. The expected recording device is being listened to by Balam in a side room.]]
Balam? Thank goodness.
I can relax a little bit if he of all teachers, the only one who knows that Iruma is a human, is the first to listen to a recording possibly containing an admission of that very fact.
In fact, the microphone must have been put on Iruma shortly before that conversation, because that's what Balam is listening to now.
"No, no I didn't. Why would I kill people who are my friends? I'd never do that. Never."
"B-but, they all turned on me! They didn't want me around because they found out I'm human! Th-that's why y-you… you…"
"And did you really–"
The playback of my voice cuts out as Balam clenches his large fist, crushing the device into tiny fragments.
That unfortunate utterance of "I'm human" will not be heard by anyone else.
Wow, he destroyed it without hesitation. Most folks would at least take a moment to consider the value of blackmail material against Sullivan.
That takes care of one problem, now the other problem is Ocho himself. Surely he's listened to that recording himself, right?
Someone like him can't be allowed to know.
That means memory erasure or murder, and I'm not about to violate my unbroken principle of never relying on mind manipulation magic just so I can spare a cruel demon who wished to hurt those close to me.
Listlessly, I pull the rifle Baal gave me out of Imaginary Space, and level the ironsights with Ocho's heart, seeing clear through the thick metal of the cell door.
Guns aren't my style, but that's exactly the point. Not many demons could make a clean and discreet assassination here with magic alone, so if a bolt of magic burned through the door and made Ocho explode, I'd be part of a rather short list of suspects. Anyone can fire a gun though.
However, one thing gives me pause, and I hesitate to pull the trigger.
C'mon man, this is exactly what Baal was asking me to do in the first place. Stupid Baal, now I don't wanna do it.
Really, I'm feeling too calm to kill Ocho right now. I despise him, sure, but right now he's harmlessly cuffed to a chair. No imminent danger or murderous rage is driving me, and only now do I realize I'm entirely unused to killing in cold blood.
Through the door, there's a long, drawn-out scream as Ocho is electrocuted, and I wince at the ugly sound of despair and crackling flesh.
Maybe I could call it a mercy kill? It's only gonna get worse for him from here on out…
Once he quiets down, Ocho starts to mutter hateful words in a raspy tone.
"In the name of the Cult of Two, I swear… if this is my fate, I'm taking someone down with me…"
My finger tenses on the trigger.
"That Iruma of yours is–!"
*BLAM-BLAM*
I react almost automatically, firing one shot and then another for good measure as this scum tries to out Iruma as a human out of spite.
The deafening blasts make me realize just how absurd it is that Baal told me to use what is pretty much a handheld cannon. The first shot would have knocked me flat or sent me skidding across the floor if Ciel hadn't anchored my position in anticipation.
Ocho got his head splattered, sending the teachers into a panic. Kalego bursts out of the cell almost instantly though, glaring right past me.
"Find the assassin! Don't let them get away!"
He and Balam run right past me, leaving the other two teachers back in the cell.
Like a ghost or a reaper, I step inside unseen, not even leaving ripples in the spreading pool of blood on the floor.
"I can't sense anything!" Robin hisses.
"Keep quiet and let those guys deal with it, let's just pray it doesn't go for us…" Marbas whispers back.
I do feel a bit bad for scaring everyone so badly, but it's nothing more than a passing thought. Mostly I feel bad for Robin, Kalego and Balam can certainly handle this, and I'm sure Marbas has seen way worse.
Still though, it's too bad I can't just let them know the danger has passed. Marbas and Robin are both on high alert, guarding each other.
They're scared of me. Well, not me specifically, but of what I just did. It hurts a little.
I stop right in front of Ocho, standing in a pool of his blood. Why am I here, staring at a corpse?
It's been a very, very long time since I've seen my own handiwork like this. Even the Falmuth forces were gone by the time I came to, and their deaths were pretty clean. Beluran was pretty gruesome, but I never tore him apart.
There are things I'll never let myself just gloss over like Guy or my dragon siblings can. This is one of them.
Sure, I can't think of any justification for allowing Ocho to live. But most people manage to go through their lives without ever killing a single person! Why do I still end up killing people even as a 'pacifist'? Especially now, when I'm not even in the role of a Demon Lord?
I know, I know, it was so I could protect Iruma. Yet it still feels so wrong that I just casually killed someone on my day off, snuffing out any potential their life might have had.
Being here at this scene of carnage feels gross, so I hurry out of the room, intending to see what the other two teachers are up to.
[[Master, try to stay calm. Even in this state of intangibility, strong emotions can reveal your whereabouts to anyone who can sense the magic fluctuations.]]
I freeze at Ciel's warning, halting my dark thoughts. And that warning came not a moment too soon.
Balam is storming down the passageway, a trail of vines behind him searching every nook and cranny he passes.
Those green tendrils brush through the air around me, but I might as well be part of that air, doing and thinking absolutely nothing.
The threat passes.
Balam must figure that I 'escaped' by now as he starts heading up to the level where Kalego is waiting, and finds my grim-faced homeroom teacher having positioned himself to intercept anyone who might flee the lower levels.
"I've searched everywhere, the assassin is gone," Balam reports with heavy breaths that blow through the grate of his mask.
"Tch. They must have made it up here before I did, that's no surprise," Kalego angrily mutters as he pulls out his phone. "I'll call those two down below to let them know, I'm sure they're still quaking in their boots."
Just around a corner, I'm listening in with my head hung low.
I really want to get out of here, I've had a rough, rough week and I need to sort out my thoughts and make a plan for if Ocho's death causes any fallout. But I need to know what these two are thinking.
I phase into a nearby locker, finding some small relief in the cool metal that I slump down against and setting the rifle down by my side. It seems like a good enough place to spy from.
Once Kalego finishes his call, he starts theorizing with Balam on exactly what might have happened. And almost immediately, his ideas go in a direction that perfectly illustrates why Ciel said that emotions interfere with stealth.
"... I didn't sense the assassin's killing intent until the moment Ocho tried to say something about Iruma. It's as though they weren't sure whether to pull the trigger until that very instant."
No! Dammit!
What Kalego said is completely true, and what he realized it is bad for Iruma and myself. He knows that Iruma has a secret worth killing over and that there's someone doing the 'killing' part.
Come on! Why are things spiraling out of control like this?!
A stupid flower nearly ratting out Iruma as a human.
Kalego deciding to publicly humiliate me.
Baal trying to bully me into cold-blooded assassination.
Finding out that Ocho discovered Iruma's a human.
Being forced to assassinate Ocho just like Baal asked.
And now, I'm about to have the teachers figure out that I was the assassin, which I'm sure will have disastrous consequences for my position in the Netherworld.
The Netherworld this may be, but these last 24 hours have been actual Hell, and I just want this slippery slide into mayhem to stop!
[[Master, calm down!]]
I swear, if one more thing goes wrong within the next day, the kid gloves are coming off. I've got all kinds of powers and resources at my disposal, why should I have to put up with– … ?!
While I was lost in thought, Kalego violently yanked open the door of my hiding place, and now his eyes are boring right into me.
I stay perfectly still as though the daggers he's staring at me have me pinned right here in place. If I had a heart, it probably wouldn't even be beating right now.
After a few long seconds, he notices the rifle that I left by my side and grabs it before closing the door on me again, discussing what he just found with Balam.
Balam decides that the assassin couldn't have possibly been me.
Kalego decides that it's not even worth prying into who the assassin is if it's someone from Sullivan's household.
"Hah… hahahah!" I melt into a blob in relief, my slightly-unhinged chuckling failing to echo as Ciel keeps me muted.
The spiral into mayhem stopped.
Like a tumbling boulder falling into a ditch or a runaway train skidding to a halt, my growing problems have suddenly decided to rest easy for now.
This sure is wild for a 'vacation', huh…?
Lead POV
Iruma and I are back in the thick of a gaming session when I hear a door in the mansion open and then slam shut, hard.
"Welcome back, master!" That Diablo guy, who I still haven't seen today, says down the hall. Then after just a moment, "Has something happened?"
"Get me something sweet, Diablo," Rimuru's voice sighs heavily, "and some tea to wash it down."
Wow, not only did she completely ignore him, but she just started ordering him around without so much as a "please!"
Iruma is nice to a fault, but Rimuru is clearly accustomed to the noble lifestyle. It seems I have much to learn from her.
"Lead, how are you doing that?" Iruma asks me in awe, furiously mashing the controller. "You seem focused on something else yet you're still beating me!"
"Hehehe," I return my attention to the fighting game we're playing. "This much is simple for a true master!" I take one hand off my controls and wrap an arm around Iruma's shoulders, still winning. "If you like, I can make you my disciple," I smirk with a side-eye.
"Urgh," Iruma looks pained. "It's tempting, but… I'm already Master Bachiko's disciple."
"You're such a goody-two-shoes," I snark at him while returning my full attention to the console. "She wouldn't mind."
"No, she would. Believe me."
"Whatever."
"So what're you guys doing?" Rimuru suddenly cuts in. I glance back to see her behind the couch between me and Iruma, leaning on her elbows.
"Winning," I answer smugly, only to realize my folly a moment too late. "Er, that is," I try to backtrack before Rimuru does something to put me in my place, "we're doing alright! Just playing, you know. The usual."
"Uh huh…" Actually, she seems too tired to care. Looks like I'm safe.
"Where did you go, Rimuru?" Iruma asks, "You ran out so suddenly."
It's true. One moment we were playing Doki Doki Demon Memorial, and the next Rimuru hurriedly said something about needing to go and poof.
"There was a small emergency at school," Rimuru answers, sounding really grumpy about it as she comes around the couch and slides next to Iruma.
"Is everything okay?" Iruma looks worried, "you sound pretty mad."
"I'm just upset I got tapped for it when I was hanging out with you guys," she shrugs.
"What happened, anyway?" I ask.
"Don't ask me about it," Rimuru grumbles while rubbing her eyes.
I shrug, figuring it couldn't have been that bad if Rimuru of all people was called. She's really strong, but they wouldn't call a student for a real emergency. Maybe it was Student Council business.
Rimuru grabs a controller and then proceeds to kick our butts for the rest of the day. And I'm supposed to be a pro-gamer! But clearly she's getting some rage out so I decide not to comment.