Hello everyone, Calborghete here, how are you all? Here's another chapter for you.

Don't forget to like the page on Facebook, the direct link can be found on my Fanfiction profile page, or if you prefer, search for "Calborghete" and find an image of Shinji and Asuka. On this page I will post updates and it will also be easier for you to contact me.

So without further ado, read on.

"Dialogues"

- Thoughts -

"Radio Talk

"Self-talk."

Responsibility note:

Evangelion, its characters and setting are the property of Hideaki Anno. Any brands, films and series mentioned in this fanfic are the property of their creators.

(*)

Chapter 16

STATICS

Shinji looked at the horizon, showing the great cross of energy that remained at the site of the angel's death, but his eyes were focused on the great cloud of dust that was still in the air, since the great explosion he had done nothing.

STATICS

"Kaworu?" Shinji tried to contact him, but nothing came in the reply, only static, a static that showed that the recipient was no longer there to answer.

STATICS

"Kaworu?" the man tried again, but nothing came on his radio, he looked down at his hands as he remembered the despair he felt when he saw his EVA once again immobile, it was like a movie replaying in his mind, his EVA didn't move.

STATICS

"Kaworu?" Shinji spoke again in an empty, plaintive voice, his head still aching from when the angel had tried to attack him mentally, but that was nothing compared to the pain his heart now felt.

STATICS

"Snowball?" Mari tried to make contact, but nothing came as Shinji tried, the man clenched his fists as he felt a rage take over his body, closing his eyes as he breathed deeply into the LCL he tried to calm down, but it wasn't possible.

STATICS

"Kaworu..." Shinji spoke to nothing, he didn't care if anyone was listening to him now, he didn't care to hide the emotion of losing a close relative, he just lowered his gaze as he thought about the last week that had passed, he didn't even know that it would be the last one he would spend with his friend, the friend who had saved him.

STATICS

"He... he doesn't... Kaworu..." Shinji cried alone inside the entry plug, his tears dissolving as if they had never fallen into the LCL, Shinji looked up as he still saw what was left of the great explosion.

STATICS

"Pilots, get back to WILLE." Misato ordered coldly as she opened a sound channel, Shinji looked up angrily as he sensed the coldness in her voice, soon an unpleasant thought crossed his mind.

STATICS

- Did she do it? - Shinji thought of Misato, who else had the power to send Kaworu into battle, who else had the power to allow him to destroy himself in battle, only she could trigger such a function in the EVA.

STATICS

- No, she would never do that. - The man thought sadly, but his now confused and downcast mind couldn't think of anything else

STATICS

- She put a bomb around his neck, like she did with Asuka and Mari... Misato would do that. - An arrogant voice spoke in his mind, a voice he thought he would never hear again, knowing that it was the voice of his father who he had struggled to think was dead for many years.

STATICS

- Misato wouldn't kill him like that, she listened to me that day... - Shinji tried to argue against the voice in his mind, but flashes of memory came back strongly, especially the day he woke up, all the memories, all the feelings came back, it was like reliving it all over again.

STATICS

- She's always hated angels, that was just to get rid of one problem, she only has one more now and that's you. - The voice spoke deeply, Shinji closed his eyes tightly trying to clear his mind, but the feeling remained, the sadness remained, the anger remained.

STATICS

Opening his eyes again, Shinji looked around trying to locate the WILLE, but nothing was coming, his heart was pounding in his chest, angrily he grabbed the controls of his EVA and gave the orders, magically now he moved, feeling even angrier he started back.

- Why didn't you move? - Shinji thought angrily as he felt the movements of his EVA, it was like last time, the time he couldn't do anything to help Asuka 14 years ago.

NOTHING

- WHY DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING!? - Shinji shouted angrily as he pressed the controls, he could feel that the EVA wanted to answer him, but nothing came to mind, he closed his eyes tightly to try to remove this feeling from his mind, he didn't want to feel anything anymore

(*)

A few minutes before - WILLE control center.

"Target destroyed, still no distress signal from unit 13." Hyuga reported dejectedly, he knew that this had been the end of Kaworu, but he still said what protocol demanded.

"No sign of contamination on the EVAs, looks like whatever was controlling unit 01 a few seconds ago is gone." Maya said as she stared in confusion at Sumire's control screen, this was no angel attack on the EVA.

"Pilot Nagisa on the line?" Shigeru tried to contact him, but all he got was static on his earpiece.

"Unit 13 please respond..." The man tried again, Misato inhaled as he scratched his face in annoyance at the battle, even though it had been a success with the enemy dead, his EVAs had taken a beating.

"No contact, ma'am." The long-haired man said as he looked at Misato. He felt sorry for Shinji when he heard that he had lost a close friend.

"It seems that the EVA didn't move in the battle, it was as if it allowed unit 13 to destroy itself in order to defeat the enemy." Ritsuko finished as she smoked her cigarette.

"I don't know, but right now I don't care." Misato spoke as she felt a mixture of feelings take over her body now, looking up to see the image of all the pilots, she could see Shinji's gaze trying to control his emotions, but he had that look again.

"At least the angel is gone, one less problem to worry about." Tama spoke with a slight smile on his face, he looked away as he saw his colleagues staring at him in disbelief, now was not the time for that.

"I swear I tried to send the cancel signal..." Hyuga spoke hurriedly, he didn't want people to think he was taking advantage of the situation, but Misato quickly shut him up.

"I know you wouldn't do that Lieutenant Hyuga, I know your character..." She said still looking at Shinji, she could see the look of anger and betrayal in his eyes, she knew it would somehow explode on her, walking slowly she stopped next to Ritsuko who looked at her cautiously.

"How are the pilots?"

"They're fine, only Shinji's mental signs are strange, the angel tried to attack his mind, but this could be the shock of losing his colleague, we'll find out when they leave and come in for routine examinations." She said as she took a cigarette and looked at Misato, she could see that this was going to be more than just a loss in battle.

"It wasn't your fault, Shinji will have to understand that."

"Easy to say, Shinji will probably think we used that as an excuse, he already hates us for arresting the angel... Kaworu, now then, I hope he doesn't freak out for good." She said as she turned her back to everyone in the room, her face touching as she knew this was going to be difficult, because the world couldn't make it easy for her.

Taking a deep breath, she turned back to the communicator, regaining control of her body and voice.

"Pilots, go back to WILLE."

Turning and taking slow steps towards her seat, she touched her face as she still heard the sound of static flooding the war room, she hated angels, but then why was she upset? The angel had died, two angels had died, that was her job, but why was this feeling taking hold of her?

(*)

Shinji slowly got his body under control, looking up as he was in the darkness of having turned off his EVA in WILLE's cage, but his mind thinking of the battle he'd had a few minutes ago, pressing a few buttons he waited for the large LCL cylinder to open, stepping out without difficulty he looked around being able to see the technicians working on the giants that were slowly appearing, but some casting him occasional glances.

- They don't even care. - Shinji thought angrily as he saw all the people walking and glaring at him, he clasped his hands together as he began to walk away, ignoring the technicians approaching him to help him with anything, but Shinji just walked.

"Pilot Ikari, here's a towel for..." A young man tried, but Shinji didn't even look at his face as he continued on his way, the man lowered his gaze as he felt helpless and despised, but one thing caught his attention, yes, the glazed look in Shinji's eyes.

Asuka was upset, she hated the feeling of not being able to defeat the enemy on her own, but knowing that now Shinji had lost the person who was helping him keep his mind in one place, standing next to her entry plug she watched the technicians working on unit 01, but where was Shinji? Soon her sharp eyes focused on the man she had been so worried about.

Where is he going?" The redhead thought when she saw that he wasn't going to the changing rooms as he always did. She frowned as she felt her covered eye sting in pain as she tensed up, and with a snort she approached Mari who was trying to dry her hair.

"Sucks, doesn't it?" Said the dejected brunette as she sat down on a metal box, looking at the now pilotless purple giant she thought of Kaworu who had sacrificed himself to save everyone.

"Don't even get me started, the angel didn't have to do that... We could always have thought of something." Asuka said, annoyed when she heard the sound of metal.

"If he chose this, he must have his reasons, maybe he knew that we wouldn't be able to kill one of his brothers, or maybe he was afraid that the cub would die, people do crazy things for the people they love." Mari said dejectedly as she thought about her life, and Asuka looked at her angrily.

"Do you think the angel loved the brat?"

"Why not? I'm not talking about romantic love, Asuka, but love, that's all... maybe he thought Shinji was his only family, a person worth dying for." Mari said as she let out a long sigh.

"I'm going to miss the snowball."

Asuka looked down as she heard this, slowly she thought of the mother she had been denied, she felt her hands clenching in anger that this had been removed from her life, but this was not the time to talk about it.

"How do you think this will affect the brat?"

"It's too bad, Shinji's lost whoever was controlling him, now it's just his mind... Kaworu was helping him stay calm whether he wanted to or not, now... he's with his thoughts and neuroses." Mari said as she stood up, the LCL already starting to bother her, and she headed for the changing rooms.

"You talk like he's going to freak out or something." Asuka said annoyed as she walked.

"Princess, think with me, when he woke up in Wunder, Shinji didn't even think straight when he ran away with Kaworu, he didn't even think if it would work to use the power of an impact to restore the world to its original form, it was Kaworu who did it, now... what will his mind give him?" Mari said as she entered the locker room, hoping she was wrong, but deep down she knew it was real, Shinji needed someone by his side to support him.

"Do you think he's mentally weak? Do you think he'll think we killed the angel in battle?" Asuka asked as she saw the look on Mari's face, feeling anger take over at the thought that Misato could have used that to get herself out of trouble, not wanting to think about it she depressurized her suit plug.

"He's smarter now, the brat will keep his mind on things." Asuka said as she began to remove her clothes, but Mari's words stuck in her mind: was Shinji that close to freaking out? She thought of all the signs the world was giving her, but nothing came to mind.

Shrugging arrogantly, she began to wash up, her mind still focused on Shinji across the corridor, she wondered if he alone could get some help, talk to her or anyone else? But the absence of a sound caught her attention, turning to Mari she asked.

"Do you hear the shower running?"

"What do you mean?" Mari asked as she turned off her water momentarily, like Asuka she concentrated on the sound around her, only the faint sound of the ventilation taking over the changing room, Mari looked at Asuka as she waited for some reaction, but now it would be normal to have more silence in the corridors of WILLE, especially a battle where they had lost a member.

"He's probably still sitting down, there's a lot to take in." Mari went back to washing up, but Asuka looked at the wall again, feeling an anxiety take over her body at the thought of Shinji running away again, so she began to wash up more quickly.

"Mari, do you... do you think Misato would do that?" Mari stopped washing her hair as she spoke. She sighed as she looked at Asuka, and could see her eye patch still glowing in irritation from the fight.

"I don't know Misato like you princess, I only knew Misato from Wunder, so I... I hate to assume this but... I think it's possible yes." Mari said dejectedly, Asuka's eyes widening slightly as she heard this.

"Please Asuka, I don't want to fight, but try to understand my side..." Mari said dejectedly, she knew about Misato's fame before the Wunder, but she couldn't live through those times like Shinji and Asuka did.

"I know... but I don't want to think like that, that's all." Asuka said as she went back to taking her shower, but her mind thinking of Mari's words, she again looked at the wall where the men's showers were supposed to be.

"Shit."

(*)

Shinji slowly opened his locker, his body still with the LCL, but that didn't bother him, nothing bothered him, his mind still remembering the big explosion where his friend died, he still didn't want to accept what had happened, he looked at his leather jacket waiting for its owner, just below were his keys, his pack of cigarettes and his wallet, picking up his things he walked outside.

All the people stared at Shinji as he headed towards where he had parked his beloved motorcycle, but he ignored the stares, he ignored the feeling of the plug suit in his body, he ignored everything.

People looked at Shinji strangely, it was unusual to see one of the pilots fully dressed in his battle suit, but they soon returned their attention to their tasks, finally entering the parking lot Shinji sat down on the motorcycle as he picked up his helmet, stopping and closing his eyes as he tried to clear his heart of the sadness that had settled in.

Finally controlling himself enough, he started the bike and began to drive off, he could feel the wind coming through the thin layer of plug suit on his legs, but he didn't mind, at least the jacket was doing its job in protecting him from the bitter cold.

The way out was slow and painful, Shinji looked sideways as he thought of all the people who were now returning to normal, but the streets were empty of the battle that had taken place, finally pulling over, Shinji looked sideways as he saw few cars passing, but his eyes focused on a small store.

Lighting a cigarette as he turned off the bike, Shinji sighed as he took a small drag on the cigarette, he let the nicotine calm him down a little, with slow steps he walked towards a store that had just opened from the emergency period.

(*)

"At least we still have time to sell a few more things." says an elderly woman as she sits down at the cashier's counter.

"Weather, it's going to be dark in a few hours! We've missed rush hour!" says an irritated old man as he hears the sound of the door opening. Looking ahead, he frowns as he sees a grown man in a latex suit with a cigarette in his mouth.

"Just what I need, a delinquent." Said the old man as he approached Shinji, who was slowly making his way towards the drinks section.

"Hey kid, you can't smoke in here." Says the old man as he speaks to Shinji who has completely ignored him, the woman can feel a strange sensation in the air.

Grabbing a pack of beer and a bottle of soju, he smoked again, ignoring the man behind his back. Shinji stood up and blew a cloud of smoke in the direction of the man who was bothering him. The man looked at his wife angrily when he saw that he had been ignored, but the woman looked intently at the man when she saw that he wasn't there to cause trouble.

"Three thousand five hundred yen."

Shinji opened his wallet and took out a random bill, handing it to the woman, who smiled as she began to count out the change from the ten thousand yen bill she had received, but Shinji didn't even wait, he picked up his things and turned to walk towards the glass door.

"Lord... Sir! Your change!" says the old lady as she tries to call out to the man walking out of her store, but Shinji closes the door and doesn't even care about the money.

"What happened?" The old man asked as he approached his wife. The woman lowered her gaze as she remembered Shinji's eyes.

"I don't know, but that man is going through a serious problem."

"I'd be depressed in that clown outfit." The husband tried to be humorous, but the look on his wife's face silenced him.

"We've just come out of a state of alert, he may have lost an important person in his life." Said the elderly woman as she returned to work, her husband lost his smile as he thought about it, calmly and quietly he returned to work in the store.

Shinji slowly looked around, seeing a small square on the other side of the street, he calmly walked over to it, still smoking his cigarette as he approached and sat down next to a tree, he placed his drinks calmly next to him as he leaned against the tree and looked up at the sky, he closed his eyes as he sighed and felt a tear run down his cheek.

(*

"Do you happen to know where the pilot Ikari is?" The young doctor asked as she approached Mari and Asuka. The redhead felt a long shiver run down her back as she heard this question.

"Sakura? Where's the brat?" Asuka asked as she finished giving all the blood samples the WILLE doctors wanted.

"That's what I meant, he should have been here with you, but I haven't heard from him yet." Sakura replied as she put her things away, she looked at Mari as she already knew that one of the pilots had died in the previous fight, even though he was an angel, I knew that Shinji was close to him.

(*)

"What do you mean he left!" Misato screamed when she received the news that Shinji hadn't shown up at the hospital ward. Her nerves were almost bursting with all the tension that was running through her body, she was afraid that Shinji would do something stupid.

"The MAGIs are looking for him, but so far nothing." Hyuga reported as he typed into his console.

"He's not at WILLE, his last contact was fifteen minutes ago when the cameras saw him in the parking lot." Shigeru said as he received the first reports, Misato frowned when she heard this

"Extend the search! I want to know where he is!" She felt her body trembling with the fear of losing Shinji again, she knew he was very close to Kaworu and his loss had certainly hurt her deep down.

"Damn it, Shinji! Where did you go?" She asked as she looked at her computer screen, then looked up to see Asuka walking in with a frown on her face, she knew the redhead was angry.

"Not now, Asuka!" The brunette said angrily, but the redhead wouldn't listen.

"How could you let him out!" Shouted Asuka as she entered the room and slammed her hands on Misato's desk, her eye patch glowing brightly with anger and fear, Mari slowly closed the door, she didn't want the others to hear.

"You think I let him go!?" Misato retorted as she got up and stood on the same level as Asuka, she didn't care about her status now.

"I don't know! You tell me!" Asuka shouts again, she remembered the conversation she had with Mari in the showers and decided to accuse, even though it was only a false accusation she attacked.

"You kill his friend and then he disappears! What do you want me to think?"

"Asuka!" Mari tried to take a step forward, but turned back when she realized it wasn't a good idea. With a long sigh, she sat down in a chair, but kept an eye out in case she needed to break up a fight.

Misato loses her angry face as she is offended, and quickly defends herself.

"Do you think I killed the angel? Do you think I wanted to hurt Shinji like that!"

Asuka, still fuming with anger, pointed her finger at Misato, she remembered all the years of loneliness she had spent at Wunder, all the years she had wished to be close to Misato again and all the affection she had received in the years before the third impact.

"Yes, you would! You'd do anything to prove your power! You'd do anything to keep control over everyone!"

"Even though I wasn't crying over the angel's death, I didn't want him dead for Shinji's sake!"

Misato stopped as she talked about it, she slowly looked down as she felt dejected that they had thought of this possibility, sitting down again she looked at Asuka, speaking in a thin voice she asked.

"Why are you accusing me of this?"

Asuka calms down at this, then she speaks, her voice still angry, but not like before.

"I don't know, you've changed a lot over the years and it wouldn't be the first time you've done everything to maintain your authority, you've abandoned everything to get your revenge."

"But I would never use a fight to finish off an enemy and Shinji made me promise that I wouldn't do anything against the angel." Misato said, still upset; she hadn't thought about that for a long time. Hearing this, Asuka calmed down and slowly sat down in the chair in front of Misato.

"Where did that brat go? If I thought so, why wouldn't he do the same?"

"We're looking, the MAGIs are watching all the cameras in the city, one day he'll be found, I just hope he doesn't do anything he'll regret later." Misato says as she thinks about it, her heart reviving old feelings that she hasn't felt in a long time.

"He should be around, we'll find him in a bit, Kaji still has my search program and it shouldn't take long." Mari said as he entered the conversation, Misato looked at him dejectedly as he nodded.

"Why did this have to happen just now?" Misato asked as she put her hands over her face, slowly she felt the emotion take over as she felt tears streaming down her face, Mari looked at Misato as she began to notice a little of the old woman that everyone had been talking about before, looking down she looked at her hands as she let out a long sigh, she wanted to know why unit 01 had crashed, why Yui hadn't let her son try to save the snowball? She wanted to have that answer, but now she had to find Shinji, fulfill the promise she had made many years ago.

Asuka looked at Misato crying in front of her, slowly calming down as she looked at Mari, knowing that they had to find Shinji for everyone's sake.

(*)

- Kaworu is dead. -

Shinji slowly raised the bottle of soju to his lips as he took another long sip, his mind still remembering the last battle that had taken place, his mind still not wanting to believe that it had happened, one sip after another he lit another cigarette, letting the cancer stick calm his anxiety, but it wasn't working.

- Kaworu is dead. -

Can after can of beer was gone as he stared at the horizon, the alcohol already affecting his mind, but he didn't even care, only the pain was on his mind.

- Kaworu is dead. -

Crumpling up an empty can, Shinji threw it forward without much ceremony, looking down when he saw that his small packet of beer had already been consumed, he let out a small growl and turned back to his bottle of Soju, he saw that it still had some contents in it, with a final sip he finished it, feeling the last drop of alcohol going down his throat, he looked at the now empty bottle with a dejected look.

- Kaworu is dead. -

He closed his eyes as he realized that all that alcohol hadn't been able to stifle the feeling that was burning in his chest, he felt tears streaming down his face, then his fears returned, the image of Misato smiling after pressing the button that detonated unit 13, Shinji closed his eyes.

- Kaworu is dead. -

- She wouldn't do that. - Shinji tried to change the direction his mind was taking him, but not even his strongest thoughts could change it.

"Yes, she would, she would find a way to kill him somehow, he was an angel, the mortal enemy for Misato, you know that." The voice flooded his mind again, Shinji clenched his hands to stop himself from believing these thoughts.

- Misato wouldn't do that! - Shinji shouted in his mind to silence that damned voice that was getting stronger every day. He clutched his head tightly in the hope that he would be able to remove this being that was talking to him, but the reality was that it was him.

"Misato is no longer the Misato of before, she has changed just as you have changed, accept it Shinji, the world is no longer the same as before, Misato is no longer the person who has a heart, she just wants blood and she's already got it." The voice spoke even louder in his mind, Shinji squeezed his hair in the hope of silencing it, but the feeling was still there.

- Kaworu could help me, he would know what to say at a time like this. - Shinji cried even more as he held his head, his breathing quickened to the point where he mistook it for despair, people looked at him, but he ignored them.

- Could Asuka help me? - Shinji wondered if Asuka would help, she was someone who had a very special place in his heart, but soon the voice spoke again.

"Asuka is lying to you, she already has her man and that man is Kensuke." The voice spoke with malice and arrogance, Shinji felt his anger growing by the second.

"He's everything you'll never be, he helped her when you abandoned her, he stood by her when you didn't... Do you think you have any right to ask anything of her? You disfigured her! You abandoned her!" Shouted the voice in his mind, Shinji clasped his hands tightly around his head as he screamed.

"SHUT UP!"

People looked at the man who was now standing with his hands on his head, mothers slowly removing their children from the small park in fear of Shinji.

Opening his eyes as he saw people staring at him, Shinji looked at each person, his mind rejoicing in his despair.

"Look at them, every one of those people you harmed when you made the third impact, they don't know the monster that walks beside them, you're a bad person Shinji, it's only a matter of time before you unleash that monster and show people who you really are." The voice spoke with a sarcastic laugh, Shinji closed his eyes as he felt a great silence come over him, opening his eyes again he saw the people looking at him, feeling fear run through his body.

Finally calming down, he looked at his hands as he started walking, he hunched his shoulders as he got back on his bike, he knew it would be wrong to drive after drinking so much, but he didn't care if he ended up crashing into a wall and dying, he just wanted to get out of there. Finally arriving at the apartment complex where he lived, Shinji stopped in front of his house, feeling his hands shaking with the memories he had on the other side.

Finally plucking up the courage he opened the door, looked into the darkness of his house, Shinji walked inside and saw Kaworu's shoes in the doorway, walking slowly he looked at everything around him.

"Kaworu..."

Shinji spoke as he passed his living room, he saw some of the things that Kaworu wore the most, every step, every moment he looked away, the more he saw his dead friend who had been taken from him, his family.

Sitting down on the sofa, he covered his face as he began to cry openly, feeling as if he had lost a great pillar that supported him after so many years of pain, he didn't hold back at home, he released all his pain.

(*)

"He was seen buying some drinks at a local business, then heading towards the apartment complex where he lives." Kaji gave his report to Misato, who had a grim look on her face.

"The intelligence people are in the compound, Shinji hasn't left yet."

Picking up her things, she got up and headed for the door. Kaji gaped when he saw Misato coming out, he knew this was going to be complete chaos, he calmly began to follow the woman.

"Do you think that's a good idea? Shinji was spotted drinking heavily in the park, he might be out of his mind." Kaji spoke as he drove his car, but Misato didn't look at him, only focused on the street in the background. Kaji looked at the woman he loved so much, he would hate for her to get hurt even more.

Finally entering the apartment complex, Misato looked at the building that would be her home, but it had been a long time since she had spent a night there.

"Stay in the car, that's an order." Misato spoke as she got out of the car, Kaji looked at her back as she headed towards the elevators, getting out of the car Kaji touched his face as he thought, he knew this meeting would be a horrible idea.

It didn't take long for Misato to find herself standing in front of Shinji's door, she looked down at her hand trembling in anxiety, it had been a long time since she had felt like this, she closed her fist as she controlled herself, calmly she used her spare key, opening the door slowly she observed the darkness of the place, with slow steps she entered, she could hear the sound of small cries coming from the room, the sound broke her heart.

Calmly he found him sitting on the sofa, a few open beer cans next to him, she could see that he was still wearing his plug suit.

Shinji heard footsteps and slowly raised his face to see Misato standing in the doorway of his office, frowning when he saw the woman he had accused.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to know where you were, you left breaking all the protocols." Misato spoke trying to sound calm, but she was failing badly.

"Well, you found me..." Shinji spoke as he stood up, he did nothing to hide his anger, feeling the rage take over him he charged.

"Are you happy now?" Misato looked at him sadly and waited for words that would be heavy to hear, Shinji looked at Misato as he closed his face.

"That's what you wanted, isn't it!" Shinji shouts in Misato's direction.

"I... I didn't want that." Misato tries to speak, but Shinji shouts loudly.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Shinji throws a can of beer on the ground, Misato doesn't move with this explosion, Shinji looks at her with blood in his eyes.

"YOU KILLED HIM!"

"I didn't do it, Shinji... he did it to protect us." Misato speaks calmly, but her heart is burning with this accusation.

"Hahaha... you wanted it, you searched for it all the time and you finally got it! You'd do anything to get your revenge!" Shinji accused angrily, but Misato said nothing.

"You dumped me, abandoned me and finally got your revenge on me..." Misato looked doubtfully at Shinji after that, she knew that this sentence had to do with the past, but before she could retort Shinji spoke again.

"You didn't manage to punish me when I woke up, now you've managed to hit me, happy? I've lost the only pillar that helped me deal with all this!"

"That's not what happened! I didn't know he meant to kill himself, damn it!" Finally losing patience, Shinji glared at her.

"Do you think all this is a punishment? Do you think I wanted this! No, Shinji! I didn't want this! I never wanted this!" Misato shouts as she points her finger at the boy she would always see as a child.

"Talk until you're convinced, a lie will never become the truth." Shinji speaks in agony.

"This is neither the time nor the place for this conversation, Shinji! Please calm down!" Misato speaks with authority, Shinji looks at her sarcastically.

"And what time is that? Tell me about it?" Shinji retorts angrily.

"Let's please calm down, I didn't want the angel... Kaworu to die like that, that's the truth and Shinji please... believe me." Misato speaks pleadingly, but Shinji shakes his head to the side as he gets upset, finally sitting down on the sofa and speaking sadly.

"Please go away."

Misato felt her heart burn at this, and sadly she nodded, turned and headed for the door, with slow, heavy steps she returned to Kaji's car.

Watching Misato get into his car with his commanding face, he knew this visit was a bad idea. With a long sigh he got into the driver's seat, the journey to WILLE was slow.

"It wasn't your fault." Kaji tried to speak in the hope of easing the situation.

"Shinji begged me not to kill that angel, he must think I took advantage of the situation." Misato said fearfully.

"But you didn't kill him." Kaji tried to argue, in an act of courage he took one of her hands, completely ignoring whether it was in service or not, he wanted to help, he felt her squeeze his hand tightly, he smiled to see that this small act had worked.

"He'll see to that Misato, right now he's hit pretty hard, we all went through it on the third impact, let him relax, one day he'll relax and you'll be able to talk seriously, I promise you that." Kaji says as he squeezes Misato's hand tighter.

"I hope Kaji, I don't want this anymore, I want things to go back to normal, I want things to go back to the way they were before." Misato speaks in an emotional voice, Kaji slowly pulls the car over as he turns and looks at her.

"I'm afraid I let him die just to get rid of the angels."

"You're a good woman and I know you'd never do anything like that to Shinji, take it easy... please." Kaji said as he pulled Misato into his arms and gave her a good hug, Misato closed her eyes to let the comfort help her.

"I'm sure things will get better." Kaji said, not quite sure of what he was saying.

"Trust me, they'll get better."

Author's Notes: Hello Calborghete people here, we finally have chapter 16, I hope everyone liked it, as always be sure to follow it and save it in your favorites so you don't miss any more future updates.

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