A/N: Some of you might recognise elements of this chapter from the original, unfinished version of Journey's End! It was originally written in Natsu's perspective, so I'm excited to show you things from Lucy's side this time around. A lot of things have been altered this time around. I'm curious to see how many of your remember the original version! Haha! Thank you for reading!
I'm updating a little early because I'm in the UK visiting family right now so I may not have time in the morning. :)
CHAPTER THREE: BURNING TRUTHS
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies.
So I don't know what's real and what's not.
What's real and what's not.
Always confusing the thoughts in my head.
So I can't trust myself anymore.
I'm dying again. I'm going under.
Drowning in you. I'm falling forever.
I've got to break through.
Lucy stood in dimly lit solitude.
The baths were empty, nothing but steam and warmth rushing to greet her. She sank into relief, let it devour her trepidation and swallow the tension in her muscles. She stretched both arms in front of her chest and let out a contented sigh. She almost felt bad for leaving Natsu behind. He needed to relax too.
He'd done everything in his power to distract her. It just wasn't enough. Nothing could reduce the hurt right now. The only thing worse than not seeing Aquarius was having her so close, like water in cupped hands, and watching her spill away.
For just a moment, a tiny fraction of a second, she'd really believed they might find her.
"Enough of that, Lucy. Gotta stay positive!"
The bath was average in size, a circular pool in the centre of the tiled floor, steam curling from waist-high water. It didn't look like anyone but the innkeepers had been here in a while. It made sense. With merchants coming and going day by day, there was little need for them to rent a room.
Carved into the stone walls, shelved alcoves ran in pairs, serving as dry storage for clothing and supplies. Lucy stripped and folded her clothes neatly, securing her keys within the folds of her suit. She laid her boots on top and stood facing the mirrored tiles on the wall.
Her reflection glowered in the foggy glass. Lucy combed her fingers through greasy hair, knocking strands away from her slick forehead. She really hated this part of travelling. Adventures were fun and all, but hygienic? Not so much. She could have Cancer fix her hair, but that would cost magic as well as time. Lucy wasn't doing so well on either right now.
She twisted her chain around a finger, Aquarius's key lifting along the delicate links. So what if they hadn't found the key today? There would be other days. Lots of them, in fact.
He'd promised her forever, after all.
Get it together, Lucy.
Barely five minutes apart and she was already wondering what Natsu was doing. He better not be messing with her pack. His pranks were getting out of hand lately, and that didn't include the ones she'd thwarted.
She stared at the guild mark on her hand, turning it back and forth in the muted light. Lucy couldn't imagine life without them now. She'd spent one year away from Fairy Tail, away from Natsu, and it had been torture. She'd lied to herself with every smile. But that's the thing about lies: they always come unstuck.
Just thinking about Fairy Tail's disbandment made Lucy's heart twinge. It was all her fault. She had nobody else to blame for her loneliness. If she'd had Natsu's courage, if she'd been as strong as Erza, maybe she could have reunited them. She could have done what Natsu did. She should have.
Who was she kidding? Lucy couldn't even save him right. Since the day she'd tampered with Zeref's magic, she'd known something was wrong. And just like she did before, Lucy had locked everything away until Natsu hand-picked his way inside.
Lucy had a feeling Gray knew. He'd been more attentive during the past year, constantly checking in on her whenever he and Juvia returned to the guild. He always asked the strangest questions. She appreciated the concern, but there was nothing he could do. How do you fix a problem when you don't even know what the problem is yet?
She would save Natsu a thousand times over if she had to. But at what cost? And how? Everything about Zeref just seemed so cold and cruel. Despite his curse, it was like his heart possessed no light at all. Perhaps Mavis had been the only one able to see it.
Lucy still remembered the pain of E.N.D.'s powers coursing through her. The thought alone seemed to summon it anew. Her temperature rose, pulsating. Her breath steamed the mirrored wall.
What?
Disorientated, she slapped a hand on the glass, her fingers sliding across the tiles. Veins branched in all directions from her eyes, passing over her cheeks like thin vines. They forked and split, growing, until they suddenly vanished.
Lucy touched her face, too fear-stricken to make a sound.
She half-expected to see Zeref in the glass, watching, his face mocking. Lucy closed her eyes and inhaled a long, much needed breath. She was just tired. That had to be it.
Washing herself down before entering the bath, Lucy reminisced about her first days in Fairy Tail, hoping to cast away the negative thoughts, and how Natsu had really changed her life. It was difficult to imagine taking any new steps without him. And Happy, for that matter. They were a family.
Sinking into the bath, Lucy was about to indulge in a moment's peace when the curtain opened. Loke rushed into the room with a telling smile.
She stood in a panic. Before he could utter a word, Lucy let out a belated scream, the sound echoing through the entire room.
"Get out!" she shrieked.
Natsu charged in a moment later, Happy hot on his trail, and Lucy knew her time of peace was over. So much for that!
"I told you not to go in!" Natsu scolded.
Lucy expelled a heavy breath. "Natsu?! And Happy, too? What are you guys doing here?" She paused, suddenly concerned. "Is something wrong?"
All eyes turned on her. Realising she was exposed, Lucy covered her chest and fought to suppress the heat ravaging her face. Stupid, stupid Natsu.
"I bring news, Lucy. A sighting! In the woods just west of here," Loke said.
Did he mean the woods at the base of Mt. Hakobe?
"Why didn't you just tell us that?" Natsu asked.
So that's why they were here. Loke must've teased Natsu with information. But that didn't explain why he'd shown up in their room instead of coming straight to Lucy. Though, given her current situation, she was glad he hadn't manifested right here in the baths.
Loke grinned. "Because I missed you guys. I wanted to see the gang all together, ya know? Let's play again soon."
Lucy's face burned with embarrassment. "T-that aside," she said, "you shouldn't have come in here!"
She loved Loke. She trusted him with her life. But that didn't mean she wanted him barging in during her private time. Especially without warning!
Her gaze flickered to Natsu, who looked suddenly like he'd taken a punch to the stomach and was just now feeling it.
"There are rumours of a water spirit living behind a waterfall," Loke said. "I can't tell you anything else, or verify the rumours. I hope this helps, Lucy. We want you to be reunited, too."
Even though he knew it was against the rules, even though he couldn't tell her where Aquarius was, Loke still wanted to participate in her journey. He wanted her to succeed, not as Lucy's spirit, but as a friend. She was so touched that in the moment all tensions dissolved, and Lucy's arms dropped to her sides, hands sinking into the water.
"Whoa, Lucy~" Happy chirped.
Lucy screamed and thrashed water over the edge of the bath. Loke disappeared like smoke in the wind, leaving Natsu to dodge the wave by himself.
"Get. Out!" she yelled.
To her surprise, they left willingly.
Collapsing in the bath, she sank against the seat, fingers clasped in her lap beneath the water. A spirit, huh? The chances of it being Aquarius were low, but it did sound fun. She couldn't remember the last time they'd journeyed like this.
Growing up, Lucy had always dreamed of adventures, but journeys like this only existed in books. She was living her own story now.
"Honestly," she breathed, "those two will be the—"
Hands clapped over her mouth. Lucy sank her teeth into the palm, screaming so loud the noise tore through flesh and bone. Her assailant uttered a curse. She grabbed the man's wrist and launched him into the water. He dragged her under. Lucy thrashed and kicked, driving an elbow into his face. She barely managed to escape.
Hacking water, Lucy clambered onto the edge. A second figure rummaged through her clothes near the alcoves. She saw a familiar wink of light.
Her keys.
"Stop!" she screamed.
Too late. The hooded figure snatched up Lucy's guard and bolted. The man in the pool was gone.
Panic swelled within her. Lucy snatched up her clothes, barely pulling the suit over her waist before she emerged through the entrance, bursting past Natsu at speeds she didn't know she could reach.
"Lucy!"
Their voices faded. She didn't have time to explain or stop. She had to keep moving, before this journey for Aquarius turned into a journey for the rest of her keys.
She slid into the arms of her suit and skidded onto the street, bare feet cold on the stone pavement. No sign of the thieves.
Lucy scrubbed her face and groaned, more irritated with herself than anything. Something about the man had been familiar. Tall, hooded, a voice thick and scratchy, like gravel...
The key merchant.
That settled it. Lucy had to stop them.
Whip in hand, Lucy sprinted through the street, headed towards the plaza where the stalls had once been. She spotted one of them turning into an alley, and despite the raging fear in her mind, turned in to follow them.
They were both waiting.
The figure holding her keys lowered the black hood to reveal a young woman's face, red hair slicked back into a ponytail, dark eyes alive with adrenaline. It would be her undoing.
"What happened to your friends?" she asked, the voice surprisingly sweet.
Lucy didn't need to glance behind her to know that Natsu hadn't followed. There was something hollow in her chest, a pang of emptiness, like their connection had suddenly been severed. She wanted to turn back and find him, but she knew he'd be angry if she did. He would tell her to rescue her keys first.
But how? She hadn't been in a real fight since the war...
"Too bad you didn't eat that cupcake. I wouldn't have to kill you now," the woman said.
Lucy's mind raced back to the cupcake stall. It couldn't be...
This was the same woman?
Now it all made sense. The stall seeming to appear out of nowhere, even though they'd been sure they were at the right place. Those three cupcakes, placed perfectly on view. How could she have been so blind?
"Wait, they ate the cupcakes without me?!" Lucy realised.
"That's what you're concerned about?" the woman hissed.
Oh, nice. She liked attention.
"Well, unlucky for you, my friends are pigs," Lucy said. "Now give me back my keys."
The woman laughed, and whether obnoxious or stupid, threw Lucy's arm guard into the middle of the alley.
"Come and take them," she said.
Lucy hadn't taken a step before the man made his move, a mirage of motion so quick it seemed invisible. He blurred past her, and blood spat from Lucy's cheek and shoulder, skin torn open as he passed.
She ignored the sting and kept moving, but the keys slid out of reach, pushed by that same blurring motion. The hooded man appeared behind his comrade once more.
So they liked games? That's fine. Thanks to Natsu, Lucy was good at games. And she really liked to win.
Lucy stepped as if to reach for the keys again, but when the man moved she released her whip, and the snap of it connected. The pain slowed him enough that she could ensnare him completely, pulling the whip tight. She knew it wasn't enough. Not to capture him, at least. But it was a distraction for her.
It seemed her hunch was right, and these two were more than partners, because the woman was coming this way. Lucy dropped her whip and pivoted on her left foot, right heel striking the woman's temple, sending her clean across the alley.
"Learned that one from Loke," she said, planting her foot back on the ground.
No sooner had the woman collapsed was her partner rushing in for the kill. Lucy gripped Aquarius's key and summoned the power within herself, a shield of water appearing as if from nowhere, blocking the man's approach. He bounced off the magic and, staggering, didn't notice her reclaim the whip on the ground.
With a single snap she had his legs and, one last pull, he collapsed. These weren't professional mages by any means.
"What do you want?" she asked, using the pressure of Aquarius's magic to hold the man at bay. His partner wouldn't be conscious anytime soon.
"What all of Zeref's followers want. A world without restrictions. A magical paradise where we can be who we truly are."
Not even unlimited magic would help them defeat her. These guys were poorly trained, using little tricks to steal their wares.
"Zeref is dead," Lucy snapped, alarmed at just how cold she could be.
The man smiled beneath the shade of his hood. "But his ideas live through us. Cut off a worm's head and it'll still squirm until you finish the job."
"How many others are there?" Lucy asked.
"Why should I tell you?"
She felt an odd chill pass through her, a ghost of something evil, something broken. A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Because I said so."
The man froze. He didn't struggle. He didn't speak. An odd rage filled Lucy with fire that spilled out through her fingers. She punched him clean in the face. Once. Twice. A third time. Blood sprayed from his nose. His head rolled to the side, unconscious. She drew back her bloody fist, knuckles sore, and stared in horror at what she'd done. The cold entity released her.
Aquarius's power slipped away. "What was—"
Pain sluiced through her body, gathering in her temples, kindling hot. Lucy held her forehead, barely able to open her eyes as the agony built under her skin. Her fingers clenched, pulling at her cheeks, her temples, wishing she could claw it all away.
Make it stop!
Heat throbbed in her face, ebbed, then receded. Footsteps bounded into the alleyway. Lucy stood, prepared again for another fight. She stepped against the wall and hid, one with the shadows, until the figure emerged right at the corner. She threw her leg into the air, barely stopping her foot an inch from Natsu's face.
His eyes widened. Slowly, Natsu lowered her foot. Pain flared in his eyes—the pain of being too late.
"Did they hurt you?" he asked, noticing the blood on her hand.
"Lucy, did you fight these guys all by yourself?" Happy asked.
Lucy didn't speak, instead stepping over the bodies to collect her keys. She slipped the guard into place and traced a tender finger over the keys in each pocket.
"I couldn't let them take my friends, could I?" Lucy said.
Natsu's expression softened. He took her injured hand and deftly wiped away the blood, nursing her injured knuckles so tenderly she thought she might cry.
"I'm sorry, Lucy. I don't know what happened," he said.
"You ate the cupcakes, that's what."
"W-what?" Happy fluttered in denial. "We did not! No way!"
"They were laced with some kind of magic," she explained. "Probably hers." Lucy gestured to the unconscious woman and shrugged. "They said they were Zeref's followers."
Natsu bristled. "We should tell the council."
Lucy nodded in agreement.
"What happened? You're acting kinda weird," Natsu said.
"Nothing."
But the truths were there, burning under her flesh, desperate to loose havoc on the world. She brushed wet hair from her shoulders and took Natsu's hand quickly, leading him away from the alley.
"You know, you're really cool, Lucy," he said, choosing to let her secrets remain secrets. "I was all fired up to take out these losers. Now I have a bunch of energy I need to use."
She laughed at that. "I can think of something for you to do."
His cheeks tinted pink and he grinned that Dragneel grin. "Yeah? Like what?"
"Like, for example"—she traced a finger along his cheek—"take a bath. You're filthy, Natsu!"
It was still dark when Lucy woke that morning, fatigue heavy in her eyes, sorrow heavier in her heart. Natsu hadn't said much after returning to the inn, opting to take his bath and leave her in peace. It was the kind of quiet she often begged for, but it had been too much. Lucy shouldn't be left alone with her thoughts.
The silence had given her too much time to think. Though, not all of these thoughts had been bad ones. She'd considered a path forward. First, they would visit the waterfall. Afterwards, should their efforts be fruitless, they would head to Crocus. She would find information there. She was sure of it.
Lucy shifted under the blankets. Lumbered by Natsu's weight, she had no choice but to accept her fate at the edge of the bed. He lie on his stomach behind her, one arm strewn across her waist, the other thrust beneath a great mountain of pillows. Happy sprawled across the mound, snoring peacefully.
"Lucy..." Natsu mumbled.
Lucy's heart pounded. She rubbed her face, memories of E.N.D.'s power coming away with her hands. She wanted to tell Natsu everything.
"Why aren't you moving, Lucy?"
Lucy flinched. How could she tell him the truth? She'd be making his nightmares a reality, dragging all of his monsters into the light, where they'd feast on him every second of every day.
She wriggled out of his embrace, slowly, quietly, moving his arm as delicately as if he were glass hanging off the edge of a table, just waiting to shatter. She felt her way across the hardwood floor and made her way into the bathroom.
Lucy's face hurt. Dried flakes of skin clung in place of the marks, remnants of E.N.D.'s heat. Her body wasn't equipped to handle that kind of power.
Natsu's voice carried through the door.
She splashed her face with cold water and stared into the mirror, her face a shadow in the soft glow of moonlight outside. Her eye twitched. Small veins spread across the left side of her face. Burning. She sought out lost courage and touched one of the markings, tracing the pattern with her finger.
This wasn't a dream. Lucy was running out of time.
Two years. She'd bought Natsu two years of a normal, human life. That's all her words were worth? Two measly...
No. Not measly.
Even a single day with Natsu was better than no days at all. She'd saved him once. She could do it again. She had to.
Yesterday's fight seemed like a blur of memories that weren't her own. The council arrested the thieves with no more than a thank you, barely acknowledging Lucy's part in it. It had nothing to do with them now.
'Cut off a worm's head and it'll still squirm until you finish the job.'
Lucy clenched a fist, that same rage igniting deep within her stomach. Arms slid around her waist from behind, extinguishing the fire. Lucy relaxed. She saw Natsu's face in the mirror, his head on her shoulder, eyes closed to the weariness of bad dreams.
"Come back to bed, Lucy," he mumbled.
Happy grabbed her leg. "The sun isn't awake yet."
Lucy placed her hands over Natsu's, patting gently. Neither one of them moved.
"What's with you two?" she asked.
"We're sorry we ate the cupcakes," Happy said.
Lucy had to hold her breath to keep from laughing too loudly. "Really? That's what you're upset about? You should know I'm used to the two of you eating my food by now."
It had been going on for years, after all.
"Lucy..." Natsu's arms tightened around her waist. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll be there from now on."
"I told you I can handle myself," she said.
"I'll protect you," he whispered, and now she knew he was falling asleep.
Sure enough Natsu's weight increased. Lucy pitched forward, catching herself on the sink. Natsu was too heavy. She collapsed on the floor, Natsu falling on top of her. Happy passed out by her feet.
"Hey, don't fall asleep here." Lucy poked Natsu's cheek. "Natsu? Are you seriously asleep right now?"
Nothing.
She propped herself against the sink cabinet. Natsu's arms remained snug around her waist. Lucy sighed and moved his face onto her lap, where he remained soundly asleep for the rest of the morning.
"Man, I slept great!" Natsu said, stretching one arm above his head.
Lucy glared into the back of his skull, her eyes burning with exhaustion, her muscles twitching with every step. He'd slept on her for hours.
Clover Town was a distant blur of clouds and buildings behind them, nothing but empty strath and blue skies ahead. Natsu insisted he knew the way, and sure enough Lucy spotted trees in the far distance, though still too far away to be a relief for her aching legs. They should reach the woodlands sometime in the afternoon, which meant limited sunlight before they reached the waterfall Loke mentioned.
"Let's race, Natsu!" Happy called, zooming through the air with an enviable burst of energy.
She watched them speed off ahead, laughing and bickering as they went. Lucy didn't bother to chase them. She watched them disappear over the hillside, admiring the small river instead, matching the steady flow as it meandered through the open terrain.
"I'm so tired," she groused. "One of us had to play the pillow last night."
She had almost forgotten about Natsu's superior hearing, so when he stopped dead on the hill Lucy almost panicked. He turned to face her, silently goading her to catch up with him. She didn't give him the satisfaction.
When Lucy did finally reach the zestful pair, she took a moment to catch her breath and rub the tension from her thighs. Everything hurt so much.
"This is ridiculous," she groaned. "I'm so out of shape."
"You did spend a lot of time cooped up at your desk", Natsu said.
"Still..." She felt so useless.
"How come you're so tired, Lucy? You looked pretty rested this morning," Happy said.
Lucy smiled wryly. "Are you sure that wasn't you?"
Natsu grinned. "I know what'll give you some energy!"
He dropped his pack on the ground, rummaging quickly for something deep at the bottom. He withdrew a small box, barely the size of his palm, and held it out to her.
"What is this?" she asked, her imagination running wild.
"Open it!"
"Wow, Natsu. So suddenly!" Happy teased.
Lucy waved him off. "Be quiet!"
Although hesitant, Lucy took the box and popped the lid open. It was a single cupcake with pink frosting. Small letters in icing read: Sorry.
"Natsu... When did you..."
"I slipped out before you woke up."
Lucy secured the box in her pack and said, "You couldn't move me to the bed?"
"You were snoring, Lucy," Happy ribbed.
"You looked peaceful," Natsu said coolly.
Tell that to my neck, she thought.
"Thank you," she said instead. "Both of you."
"Now let's go find Aquarius!" he said, throwing Lucy over his shoulder as if she were no heavier than a feather, pack and all.
She dangled on her stomach, thumping his back with her fists. "Natsu! Put me down!"
Natsu patted her thighs. "This way will be much faster, don't you think?"
She sighed, deflating against his back. Arguing with these boys was futile. She should've learned that lesson a long, long time ago.
"Race you!" Happy challenged again.
"Natsu Dragneel, don't you dare run with me on your—"
"Hold on tight!"
Lucy screamed.
Song: Going Under - Evanescence.
AVAILABLE MARCH 14th—
CHAPTER FOUR: WORDS UNSPOKEN