A/N: After chapter six, updates are going to be every Saturday until things settle down for me. As many of you know, I'm currently with family in England and, with recent travel restrictions, I'm not sure what that means for my flight this coming Sunday. I also need to redo a couple of chapters (11 onward) so I want to give myself enough time to work on them while maintaining a regular schedule.

CHAPTER FIVE: NAKED HEARTS

So much that I don't know.
Honestly, it's hard.
I don't know the right timing.
Why do things keep messing up?
My heart has slow footsteps.
So with all my strength, I chased after you.
Each step you take, I'm right there,
so why are you hesitating?
Ooh, love, love is, what is it, what is love?
Ooh, love, what do I do?
What if love?
You're probably my one, one, one, my one.

Fate had a funny way of bringing people together. Lucy believed in her heart of hearts that certain reunions were destiny's plan, and that some coincidences were simply meant to happen. There was something about these chance encounters that made her feel hopeless, too. That some things just couldn't be changed.

Natsu was supposed to die with Zeref, but Lucy had done all she could to keep him alive. And now destiny had returned to punish her interference. Hitomi's words were proof that nothing could be done. She couldn't save him. If Natsu was the only person capable of stopping Zeref, then just what could stop Natsu? Who? Were they destined to clash like this? Or would they die when the magic awakened? Maybe Hitomi was right to end things while she had control. A tree without roots couldn't bear poisonous fruit. Or any fruit at all. If Lucy was the heart of the problem, well…

"We heard all about your fight in Clover Town," Jellal said. "The council had us identify the two mages. They were part of a former merchant guild turned dark."

"I honestly had no idea you were still looking for the dark guilds," Lucy said.

"It's hard to settle when you know the things we do. Turning a blind eye now seems almost criminal, doesn't it?"

Lucy's stomach twisted. She remembered the cold touch of Hitomi's ghostly hands on her face.

'I never said that he was the contradiction.'

Lucy buried the thoughts deep down inside herself, tried to suppress the growing urge to meltdown and cry. She couldn't show weakness in front of Crime Sorciere, not when they worked so hard to stave off Zeref's influence, sacrificing their own peace, their own happiness, so that others could live in blessed ignorance. She had to be strong too.

As it turned out, Crime Sorciere were hunting down the remainder of Zeref's followers, trying to uproot the poison before it spread and the fruits borne of their peace began to rot. Lucy listened attentively to the stories exchanged between them, nodding along as she heard of their victories, and of the things they had learned.

All the while she couldn't help thinking: Where does it stop?

At which point did they decide to live their own lives? When was it okay for them to move on? Would they wipe out every dark guild in Fiore and hope it was enough? That nobody would ever rebuild what had been destroyed? People's minds were not so easily broken, especially those corrupted by evil.

Zeref's demise would not end his ideology. There were those who still studied his work in secret, still worshiped the demons and practiced forbidden magic. They were dangerous.

Rumours of demonic activity had lured Jellal and the others here, where they hoped to find more clues about the direction such a beast was headed. There had been no sightings.

Sitting beside Lucy, Jellal looked more at ease than he truly seemed, his hair disheveled but clean, his eyes focused, distant. His face glowed in the firelight, hard and thoughtful. He really was working hard to atone for the things he had done. She had no doubt that he missed stability, but she wondered if he remembered what it felt like to simply live.

Connected with Zeref's magic, Lucy felt more attuned to Jellal's feelings now than before. She knew what it felt like to be exposed to something so evil. Both were victims of that man's influence, although Ultear had played a huge role in Jellal's descent to madness, and Lucy had yet to fully sink into E.N.D.'s control. Nor did she know if she ever would. And perhaps that was the worst part.

"How is Sabertooth treating you?" Lucy asked Sorano.

"It's strange being part of a normal guild," Sorano confessed. "No offense, Jellal." The group laughed as one. "They understand that Crime Sorciere gave me a second chance, and that these idiots are my family too. I will always come when they ask for my help. Though, if any of you repeat that, I will skin you alive."

"Maybe you had too much to drink earlier," Erik said, nudging Sorano's shoulder from across the fire.

"Sabertooth understand what it's like to walk the wrong path for a while," Meredy put in. She'd been quiet until now. "Many of us have been victims of coercion, of pain. We know what it's like to be on the brink of despair and come back from it. That's why we do what we do, even now."

Even after being pardoned, she meant. They had the freedom to join guilds, to be with family and friends, but they chose to sacrifice this and more in order to protect Fiore from the shadows. Their talents were virtually unrecognised, and nobody would ever really know about their ongoing heroism.

The group sat in a circle around a blazing fire, kindling high thanks to Natsu's flames. Sorano's face blurred behind the orange flames, but Lucy saw the faintest hint of a smile. They had all come so far.

Sitting between Sorano and Cobra—or, Erik, as he'd insisted they call him now—Natsu poked the flames with another stick, stirring them back to life. He shared a piece of meat with Happy, who'd been oddly quiet since they'd left the cave. Beside Sorano, Macbeth and the others spoke quietly among themselves. It wasn't as comfortable as an inn, but there was something safe and serene about sitting beneath the stars, warmed by the fire, bewitched by pleasant laughter.

"I'm just trying to be a good role model for my sister," Sorano said.

"Yukino looks up to you already," Lucy told her. And she meant it. Yukino only ever spoke fondly of Sorano, and would defend her until the end of time. That's just what family did.

"It must be lonely sometimes," Natsu said. Everyone turned to face him, surprised that the words had come out of his mouth, albeit stuffed between mouthfuls of food.

"We all have people we care about," Jellal said. "But that only makes us work harder to atone."

"We will create a safe place where our friends know only good dreams," Macbeth added.

Lucy's heart warmed. "I'm sure your loved ones appreciate it very much."

Jellal fidgeted beside her. "That is all we can hope for."

"I know for a fact there are people who are waiting for you all to return home," Lucy said, and then quieter, so only Jellal could hear, "Erza is doing well."

Jellal's smile betrayed an inkling to go home. To be with her. Lucy knew it must be hard, loving someone so much that you can't help but worry about them, even from so far away. And to love them so much that you could only blame yourself for their misfortune.

In truth, Jellal and Erza had the means to communicate from afar, they simply chose not to interfere in one and other's affairs. They had things to do now. Things to strive towards.

"Jellal pines loudly in his sleep," Meredy said, a playful tinge in the air. "We hear him talking all the time."

Jellal visibly flushed. "That's not..."

"Oh, Erza," Sorano chimed in, making lewd sounds that set Lucy's heart racing.

"He even cries sometimes," Meredy added.

"I-isn't that a bit much?" Lucy said.

"Oh, what's wrong, Lucy? You having dirty thoughts too?" Sorano quipped, gesturing audaciously to the dragon slayer sitting beside her.

"Lucy is always thinking dirty thoughts~" Happy said.

Oh sure, now he decides to talk!

Natsu didn't answer, continuing to eat in silence. Lucy ought to be grateful, but it made her feel a little strange that he wasn't flustered, too. Did nothing like this ever faze him?

"I'm not thinking anything dirty," Lucy objected.

"Oh, that's right, because you don't have to think about it," Sorano said.

"That's right! We did find you two naked!" Meredy giggled.

"T-that's not..." Lucy stood. "Natsu, tell them it's not true!"

Natsu glanced up from his food, his eyes a smolder of something mysterious and dark. After a moment he shrugged and said, "But it is true, isn't it?"

Lucy's entire body burned with embarrassment. "You jerk!"

Sorano stood now, eager to continue Lucy's torment. "I bet you two were planning to get all cozy tonight, huh? Did we ruin your plans?"

"Stop it!" Lucy yelled, covering her ears.

Sorano crossed the fire and tapped Lucy's arms, the two walking in circles as they bickered back and forth.

"I bet you're wishing we hadn't stumbled upon your little nesting ground, huh?" Sorano taunted.

"You're wrong! You're wrong! You're wrong!"

"Am I, Lucy? I bet you two were planning to make out under the stars with—"

Lucy whipped around, her cheeks throbbing. "We've never even kissed!"

The others had turned away now, clearly sensing Lucy's discomfort. At least they were polite enough to acknowledge it.

Standing in the firelight, exposed to hundreds of stars in the night sky, Lucy felt suddenly naked. It was as though her heart had been denuded for all to see.

"Never kissed? Oh my. Did you two skip that step already? Or could you be waiting for him to propose?!" Sorano cackled.

"That's not what I said. I just haven't, you know, it just never came up."

"Oh, but if it did come up? You'd be willing?"

"Sorano!"

"What? I'm just saying. That first kiss is so, so important after all~"

"I'm not waiting for Natsu—or anyone—to kiss me!"

"Oh, please! Look at you! The mere word has you shaking like a leaf in autumn, just waiting to drop! Kiss, kiss, kiss!"

"I can kiss whoever I want!" Lucy screamed.

Heads snapped up at the inflection in her voice.

"Anyone? Wow, how bold, Lucy. I'll believe that when I see it."

Enraged, humiliated, perhaps slightly annoyed at the truths being laid before her, Lucy did something she never thought she would ever do.

She grabbed Sorano's face and kissed her.

The moment seemed to transcend time, and though it was just a peck, the rashness of what she'd done sank in a little too late, like a broken anchor that couldn't stop the ship from sailing.

"I told you! A kiss is just..." Lucy blinked. "Sorano? Are you okay?"

Sorano's face reddened until she was nothing but a blinking tomato. "You fiend!"

"You started it!"

"Whoa," Happy said.

The two girls turned to find everyone staring, mouths open, eyes wide. Natsu met Lucy's gaze and something hot and dark flickered between them.

"Lucy Heartfilia," Sorano snapped, "I can't believe you did that."

"It's kind of your fault," Meredy said.

"But I was only playing! She didn't have to get so worked up about it."

"I was not worked up," Lucy said, betrayed by the visible trembling of her clenched fists. "I was just..."

"That's enough," Natsu said.

He stood across the fire now, visibly irritated, and the flicker in his eyes made her knees buckle. He crossed the circle and snatched Lucy's wrist, dragging her into an enclosed section of the woods. She barely managed to wrest her hand free when he pushed her back against a tree, his hands trembling on either side of her face.

"N-Natsu?"

"Is something bothering you?" he asked.

"Yes..." She swallowed. "You, actually. Right now."

Natsu didn't move. Familiar warmth bristled in her face, and she knew it wasn't the embarrassment. E.N.D.'s powers flourished for a moment beneath her skin, beating like an extra heart resuscitated in the spark of his gaze.

He leaned in close, his breath hot. Lucy imagined herself melting into the tree and disappearing. He grabbed her chin in his hand and tilted her head. Lucy sank against the trunk, her hands pressed flat against the knobbly wood.

"Natsu..."

He wiped her lips with his thumb, as though erasing Sorano's kiss and all of the banter that came with it. And then he stepped back and walked away, rage forgotten, jealousy—if she could call it that—abandoned. Lucy collapsed to her knees with a nervous breath. Her heart throbbed with something else. Something cold.

Why did she feel so disappointed?

It had been a long day, and an even longer night. When Lucy returned to the fire nobody dared to speak of the kiss with Sorano, and Natsu remained his quiet, polite self, eating food and sharing laughs whenever there were jokes to be shared.

Lucy sat alone by the dwindling flame, listening to the others set up camp, unzipping sleeping bags and prepping their packs.

She traced her bottom lip with her thumb. Lucy had felt the book of E.N.D.'s power, but how much of that had really been Natsu, and how much of it the demon lying dormant? A mixture of emotions gathered. Confusion. Disappointment. Desire.

Maybe she'd wanted Natsu to kiss her. Maybe Sorano was right. Lucy had always been a romantic at heart, and Natsu had always catered to those desires, though he'd never seemed to realise it himself. In a tale of princes and dragons, he was both. But Lucy liked what they had now. She loved being his friend, loved the simplicity of it. But a part of her...

"Are you okay, Lucy?" It was Jellal.

He sat beside her.

"I'm fine. A little embarrassed. I don't usually let my emotions get the best of me like that."

"It's what makes us human."

She nodded. "It's complicated," she confessed. "Me and Natsu."

Jellal's smile was sympathetic. "I understand what you mean."

"Love is different for everyone. I had always imagined it as something pure and perfect. But after joining Fairy Tail, I got to meet so many different people. All of them imperfect. And I loved them anyway." Lucy stared at her upturned palms, wondering how to voice her thoughts. "If things were different, I can't help but wonder if I'd let myself feel this way. But it scares me. I don't want to hurt him."

And if things regressed like she suspected, then Lucy might have no choice. How could she fall in love with Natsu if she might leave him some day. She'd seen what loss did to people. She'd experienced it firsthand. How could she knowingly put Natsu in that kind of pain?

"You're a smart girl, Lucy. And if there's one thing Fairy Tail has taught me, it's that love is the most powerful cure there is. Whatever is going on with you two, depriving yourself of happiness isn't the way forward." He smiled, and she knew he must feel like a hypocrite. Perhaps he needed to hear these words himself. "Taking risks is a part of what we do. Sometimes you have to abandon thought if you're going to get to the feeling of things. You two have proved that you're willing to beat the odds to be together, so why are you letting destiny have its say now?"

He left her alone with those words, and Lucy chewed on them a while, grinding them around in her thoughts. He was right. But until Lucy knew for sure how she felt, there was no telling Natsu the truth. She couldn't go into this half-mannered. If she truly did love him, if she wanted to be like that with him, Lucy needed to be sure.

Or maybe she already was, and it was the fear keeping her feelings at bay. Either way, she had a lot to think about, and feelings were easier to sort after a good night's rest.

She left the fire in search of Natsu and found him sprawled across a sleeping bag gazing at the stars. Happy was sound asleep beside him, exhausted from the day's antics.

"This one for me?" she asked, pointing to the empty bag.

Natsu grinned. "Are you having fun, Lucy?"

"Of course. It's always fun when we're together. And seeing everyone else is nice too."

"They're heading to the mountains near Crocus," Natsu said. "You wanna go with?"

"Well, we are headed in that direction anyway."

Natsu punched his open palm. "I'm all fired up. Let's take down some dark guilds, Lucy!"

"Guilds? Just how many are hiding in these mountains?"

He laughed. "Who cares! We'll beat them all!"

Oh, Natsu. He never changed.

And she hoped he never would.

"Hey, Natsu?"

"Yeah?"

She sat on the sleeping bag beside him, rubbing the cool tenderness from her hands. Spring nights were particularly cold in the woods. He noticed her shivering and unraveled his scarf, looping it gently around her neck. Lucy snuggled against the material, and let herself fall against his shoulder. Natsu was Natsu. Nothing would ever change that.

She refused to be scared of him.

"Do you ever think about the future?" she asked him.

"Sometimes. But I don't wanna miss what's happening right now."

She'd forgotten just how profound he could be.

"Aren't there things you want?"

"I have everything I want," he said. "Anything else is just a bonus."

Lucy's cheeks warmed. "By the way, have you been feeling okay?"

Natsu collapsed on the sleeping bag, bringing her with him. She nestled against his side, not ready to relinquish his body heat. It didn't matter who saw them at this point. Lucy didn't care.

"Never better," he said. "Why?"

"Just curious. You didn't seem so great on the train ride. I wondered if you were still feeling bad."

"Don't worry, Lucy. Everything's fine."

Not everything, she wanted to say. But that was a conversation for another day. She'd have to tell him eventually. Lucy wanted to understand more, first. She wanted to know what triggered it. If they could stop it. Maybe she could postpone the effects a little while longer.

"You'd tell me, right? If you started to feel weird."

"You'd be the first to know, Lucy. Now go to sleep."

"Like this? We're not even in the—"

He squeezed her tight against him, loosing warm magic through her skin. That settled it. She absolutely wasn't leaving his side.

"Nevermind," she acquiesced.

It took them three days to reach the mountain village. Lucy and Natsu were given spare cloaks, and Meredy stitched a miniature one just for Happy. The two seemed thrilled at the prospect of working undercover, detecting demon activity in the snow.

More than once she'd caught them playing ninja, and more than once that play had resulted in a snowball to the face.

Lucy caught the next one before it hit, batting it away with a quick sweep of her arm. The anger must have shown in her face, because no sooner had the snow hit the ground were they running away.

"Don't run away from me!" she screamed.

"Some things never change," Meredy laughed.

Lucy sighed. "It's so cold here. It's hard to believe it's spring."

"I've always thought mountains exist outside the realm of time," Meredy agreed.

Mentions of time brought a moment of quiet between them. She knew Meredy missed Ultear. Her sacrifice had saved them all. It seemed unfair she had to live her life alone. What remained of it, anyway.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Jellal," Meredy said.

Lucy's pace slowed, her boots sinking into the snow. She reminded herself to keep moving. The mountain path narrowed as they reached the village, and the snow became thicker, harder. It was difficult to walk.

"Feelings are complicated. It's easier to write them down than to say them." Lucy snuggled Natsu's scarf close to her face. "Especially between old friends."

"Do you want to know?" Meredy asked.

Lucy's brows tented.

"I can show you the truth," Meredy explained. "A sensory link would share your feelings entirely."

"I couldn't do that to him. It's..."

"It only works when the two share a special bond. Aren't you curious to know what yours is?"

"I..." She was curious. But Lucy didn't want to betray Natsu's trust. "I'll find out for myself. I have to do this on my own."

Meredy grinned. "You're a good person. I almost envy that."

"You're a good person, Meredy. That's why you offered to help me, isn't it?"

They both smiled at that.

"Hey, Lucy!" Natsu called. "Over here! I smell something!"

When the group finally left the main path, they saw a swath of empty houses, windows shuttered and shattered, doors swinging on broken hinges. Gales of wind sang a mourning lament as they visited the abandoned homes. Just one remained intact, curls of smoke rising from a stone chimney. Somebody still lived here.

"What's wrong, Natsu?" Lucy asked, panting with the exertion of climbing.

"Over there! Look!"

They crossed the snowy village until they'd reached an old cemetery, the stones weathered like broken teeth, the ground recently shoveled. A cloaked figure tended one of the graves. Billows of wind knocked free the woman's hood.

Standing in the middle of the snow, hunched with old age but still as frighteningly beautiful as the day they'd met, was Ultear Milkovich.

Meredy gasped. "Is that really..."

Fate had a funny way of bringing people together.

"Destiny," Lucy breathed.

Song: What if Love? - Wendy (Red Velvet).

AVAILABLE MARCH 21st—
CHAPTER SIX: SINS AND SACRIFICE