A/N: I'm back in the USA and on a mandated 2 week home-quarantine, so that means more time for writing. It's more likely that I'll post each chapter as I complete it, meaning there won't be an official schedule for a while. I'm aiming for at least one chapter a week, but it'll likely be more. Stay safe and wash those hands! :)

CHAPTER SEVEN: AWAKENED FEELINGS

The moment of destiny; believe in the miracle.
I'm embracing all of the pain and all of the laughter inside.
The seasons get busier. The landscapes change.
But the memories are engraved, and once again we're...
I just don't know.
Whenever I see you, suddenly I get lost.
Like waking up from a long dream,
my heart gets overwhelmed,
and you start to sway with my tears.

Everyone grieved in different ways.

Within Lucy's keening bubble, grief clung with cold shivers and hot regrets, made of nightmares and false hopes. Meredy's face haunted her long after they'd parted ways, their goodbye so empty, so strained. Losing a mother was hard. Losing her twice was unthinkable heartache.

Bidding farewell to Crime Sorciere, the trio had followed roads leading to Crocus, stopping part-way at a shoddy looking inn. Lucy hadn't slept at all. There was no peaceful darkness. No conjuring of dreams. Only memories—flickers of Ultear's marble face and Meredy's heart-wrenching screams. Lucy had woken to Natsu's desperate tears, confused, contrite. He'd held her for an eternity, surrounding her with a warmth that Ultear would never feel again.

Destiny sucked.

Morning sunlight peeped through the high-raised windows, painting the bathroom tiles a cooling white and yellow. Light stirred the shadows, pushing them out of corners, along the walls and ceiling like bad dreams shifting in the back of Lucy's memories.

She sank lower into the old tub, hot water lapping against her chest. It wasn't luxurious by any means, but it was private, and she definitely needed the privacy right now. She twirled Aquarius's key around one finger.

Was it all worth it? Was she doing the right thing? Could she leave Zeref's followers to Crime Sorciere, knowing what she did? Feeling what she did? What if more people died?

'You have your own demons to attend to,' Jellal had said. 'Leave the rest to us.'

Lucy cupped a handful of bubbles and blew them across the small room. She felt so dirty. She'd wronged Meredy, hurt Crime Sorciere. It was all her fault. Storm clouds gathered in Lucy's heart, bringing nothing but rain and darkness. The tears didn't come. She had nothing left to give. Every drop of remorse had run dry, and every fear, every doubt, every fragment of misery, had turned to dust.

They'd buried Ultear in the cemetery she'd been protecting. Meredy had claimed whatever belongings she could carry. Most of the house had been destroyed in the fight, leaving very few items intact. Lucy had taken with her the only thing that mattered: Ultear's final words.

She stared at the mound of clothes strewn across the floor. Virgo had fixed Lucy's outfit, assuring her that the quality was even better than before. Lucy was used to it at this point. It wasn't a normal day unless she lost her damn clothes.

The bathroom door sprang open.

"Move over, Lucy!"

Natsu dove into the opposite side of the tub. Lucy drew her knees to her chest and let out a hot breath. Embarrassment and rage coiled for just a second, replaced by a sad comfort. Acceptance. He wouldn't leave her alone anyway.

"I'm almost done, you know," she said.

Natsu shrugged. "I was bored without you."

He spread his legs on either side of her, his knees bent, his feet planted on her end of the tub. Lucy folded her arms over her knees to support her chin. She gazed long and hard at the naked man sitting opposite her. Bubbles clouded his lower waist, frothing against his bare chest. He didn't blink. Unaffected by her scrutiny, Natsu leaned back against the tub, draping his arms over the sides Knots of muscle rippled with scars and flushed skin. Lucy caught herself admiring his broad chest.

"We'll reach Crocus soon," he said.

Between what happened during the Grand Magic Games and the guild's disbandment, Lucy had come to loathe Fiore's beloved capital. But feelings couldn't stand in the way of her reunion with Aquarius. If anyone had news on celestial keys, it would be the denizens of Crocus. And maybe visiting old wounds would help to heal them.

The goal posts had changed, but neither wanted to admit it. This wasn't about Aquarius anymore. Not really. Ultear's death had paved a new road, long and winding and dangerous. Lucy had no choice but to follow it.

'Save him, Lucy. And be happy.'

"Are you happy, Natsu?"

The question caught him off guard. He stared at her a long while, processing her words, clearly trying to devise some magnificent answer that would calm her fears. She didn't need comfort. She needed honesty.

"I'm on a journey with my best friends," Natsu said. "Why wouldn't I be happy?"

Lucy pursed her lips. "You still haven't asked me anything."

She saw in his eyes that he knew what she meant. He never brought up the marks. He didn't ask about E.N.D.'s power or Lucy's part in it. He simply let her exist and grieve and worry. Wasn't he angry with her? Didn't he want answers?

She wondered at first whether Ultear's spell had rewound his memories, but the truth was there, glistening wet in his tired eyes. He remembered everything.

"I figured you'd tell me when you were ready," he said.

Lucy tipped her head, skeins of wet hair tumbling over one arm. Spread thin among layers of grief were delicate veneers of built up affection. In the heat of battle, Lucy's jumbled feelings were shaken free, scattering a clear message in pieces of heartbreak and fear. Natsu meant more to Lucy than anyone and anything. She would bleed and die for him without a second thought.

She wanted to save him.

Ultear's magic rewound the demon seed, offering Natsu his humanity, giving Lucy a second chance. But the damage was there, putting keys to locks and gradually setting her emotions free. These awakened feelings burned hot and cold. She couldn't discern Natsu's feelings from her own. Every dark thought pushed her closer to his demons, while the gentleness, the love and the laughter, brought her closer to him.

"After what happened with Ultear..." Lucy paused, searching for the right words. "Is it selfish to want a little normalcy?"

Natsu scooted closer. He placed a comforting hand on Lucy's head, trailing fingers into her damp hair. "Have we ever been normal?" he asked.

Lucy raised her head. Natsu placed his hands on her knees, leaning closer, his gaze a doorway to the soul lurking under all that muscle and fire. How much of him would remain if Lucy failed? How much of that precious smile would fade away? Tears dripped onto her cheeks.

Natsu brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. "It's not your fault."

"I can't help but think..." Lucy swallowed her sobs. "If, if we hadn't been there. If we hadn't gone to the mountain."

"Then you'd be dead," he said pointedly.

"I'm sorry. I should've told you."

"We're a team, Lucy."

"I thought we had more time."

"Ultear gave us more time," Natsu said. "Let's not waste it by crying. Okay?"

Lucy nodded, her lips trembling, the sobs and pain warring to escape. She inhaled a sharp breath through her nose and smiled. She hadn't noticed how close his face was.

Happy threw open the bathroom door. "How could you!"

Lucy shrieked.

"Oh, hey, you wanna bathe too?" Natsu said.

"You're always trying to play without me!" Happy yelled.

Lucy burst into sudden laughter. Tears of joy and loss mixed together like salty relief on her cheeks. They laughed together until the water ran cold.

They departed the roadside inn later that morning, burdens light, packs heavy with replenished supplies, and they marched forward together. To Crocus.

And the future.

Fiore's capital buzzed with its annual spring festival, streamers and lanterns and flowers decorating every street. Lucy marveled at how beautiful the city looked while immersed in such arrays of colour. It sure beat staring at stone walls most of the day.

Couples basked in the sunshine, snuggled close on benches or playing games at nearby stalls. Groups with children played in the running fountains. Lucy absorbed the laughter, let it soak through her and cleanse the filth and the regret. Part of her wondered how Crime Sorciere were doing.

Natsu spun Lucy towards him. He placed a small crocus in the elastic of her right braid. She brushed the petals gently. He grinned.

She loved him so much.

It was a pleasantly warm day, so Lucy had returned Natsu's scarf, which he now wore loosely around his head. He'd kept the jacket Virgo offered him. It hung loose from his shoulders, silver stars glittering on his back.

Lucy inhaled the sweet air, filled with magic and memories and music. Songs played through the labyrinth of streets, people laughing and singing along at irregular beats. The atmosphere brightened her heart.

Being here now felt completely different to how it did years before, when Lucy had lived a quiet life, a lonely life, watching from the sidelines and documenting other mages' success. She'd always wanted to be a writer. But not at the cost of losing her guild and everything she stood for.

"Doesn't Crocus have a public job board for guild mages?" Lucy asked. "It could take some time before we find anything useful. Why don't we stay for a while?"

Natsu stopped walking. "You want to live here?"

"Just for a little while. There are lots of buildings to rent. My old apartment was discounted because of our role in the..." Lucy snapped her fingers. "Natsu? You listening?"

"Are you sure you wanna stay here?"

Lucy's heart sank with memories, heavy, heavier, but his smile lightened the burdens again. She expelled a long breath.

"I have to find Aquarius. So let's do it. It's almost summer, which means there will be more tournaments and events. There will be plenty to do." Lucy spread her hands. "Besides, I'm so sick of staying at taverns and inns."

And no travel meant she could focus on the matter at heart.

"Don't push yourself, Lucy," Happy said.

He nuzzled her cheek. Lucy smiled.

"That settles it. We'll stay," Natsu agreed.

They found the board posted near Bar Sun, quests of all kinds pinned over each other, layers of jobs that ranged from dangerous to virtually risk-free. Lucy flipped through the papers, peeling back the over-layer to read those underneath.

Natsu snatched a flyer from the board. "This one," he said.

"Did you even bother to read the others?" Lucy asked.

Natsu stared at her. "But we're already here."

"What?"

Natsu tapped the flyer. It was a request from the owner of Bar Sun. Someone had been interfering with recent shipments and they needed mages to intercept the next wagon, which would be arriving tomorrow.

"Let's talk to the owner and find a place to stay. Once we're settled in, we can focus on the job," Lucy said.

Natsu's stomach growled. "And maybe, uh, while we're in there..."

Exasperated, Lucy groaned. "You're going to eat me out of rent money."

Agreeing to the job was easy. Forming a plan less so. It hadn't taken them long to sign a monthly lease, and now they put their attentions on the quest at hand. Lucy studied the details on the flyer, referring to her added notes for inspiration. The owner had said bandits were stealing his booze and selling it for higher prices. But why would bandits target this wagon specifically? What was so special about Bar Sun's inventory? Was she missing something? There were plenty of other taverns in Crocus.

"Your ice-cream is melting," Natsu said.

Drops of vanilla splattered the flyer. Lucy stared at the cone, too absorbed in her thoughts to think about eating it. Natsu had demolished his three scoops in a single breath, and now they dawdled outside the local ice-cream parlor, hoarding the last free table. They hadn't moved in some time.

A slow breeze rustled the parasol above their heads. The table creaked with a sudden exertion of weight. Natsu chomped a mouthful of Lucy's ice-cream, vanilla smeared in streaks across his mouth.

"Natsu!" she griped.

Happy dissolved into laughter. "You should see your face, Lucy."

"Honestly, you two." Lucy offered Happy her cone, reaching across the table to wipe Natsu's face. "What am I supposed to do with you?"

Natsu grinned, licking the remaining flavour from his lips. "Don't worry about it too much, Lucy. We'll take down the bandits and ask them why they're stealing from old man Sun."

Lucy scratched her cheek. "Well, I guess that's fair. All we have to do is stop them and our questions will be answered."

Natsu nodded. "There's a festival going on right now. We should play."

"Okay," she said.

They shared an odd look, like they weren't expecting her to agree.

"What? I know how to have fun too," she objected.

Natsu beamed. "Then let's go!"

He snagged Lucy's arm and dragged her into the streets. Waves of people parted to let them through, Lucy yelling apologies as they passed. She struggled to keep up with his pace, her feet clumsy, her arm aching. But he was so happy she didn't want him to stop.

"Where are we going? Slow down, Natsu!"

When they finally reached the plaza, Natsu skidded to a halt. Lucy smacked into his back, almost losing balance when Happy swooped to the rescue, adjusting her gently.

"What's gotten into you guys?" she asked.

"There's no time to slow down, Lucy," Happy said.

"That's right, buddy!" Natsu agreed. "Today we'll play so hard Lucy won't know what hit her!"

While she appreciated the notion, Lucy didn't like the sound of that. Natsu's "play" usually ended in bruises somehow. He took even the simplest of pillow fights to the extreme.

"You know, I can just watch," she said, shuffling towards the fountain benches.

Natsu snatched her hand. "No way! You promised!"

Well, it hadn't exactly been a promise.

Lucy's cheeks warmed. "Fine," she acceded. "What should we play?"

Natsu surveyed the plaza, scanning stall after stall, observing the long lines. Lucy half-expected him to suggest more food.

"That one!" Natsu said, pointing to a less busy stall ahead.

"You want to pop balloons?" she asked.

Natsu didn't answer. He dragged her over to the stall, impatiently tapping his foot until their turn arose. Happy floated close behind them. When their turn finally came he pushed Lucy into position.

Rows of balloons shimmered red and blue and green on the back wall of the stall, some slightly smaller than others. Natsu poised himself on her right, picking up three darts, and stared at the arrangement of balloons. Lucy watched him attentively.

"Wanna make a bet, Lucy?" he asked.

Lucy fidgeted with her darts. "I'm not so sure that I do."

"Whoever misses a balloon..." Natsu flashed her a wicked smile. "Has to wear whatever Happy picks out. Got it?"

Lucy shivered. He was leaving their punishments to the cat? This would not be good. A little authority turned Happy into a little devil. He'd make her miserable in the name of fun.

She swallowed her nerves. "You're on, Natsu."

They alternated turns, with Natsu popping his first balloon easily. Lucy twirled the dart between her fingers, staring hard at her chosen target. The small balloon on the left would be easy. She'd been practicing her aim with Sagittarius.

"Concentrate," she told herself.

With a quick breath the dart landed home.

"Nice!" Natsu offered a high-five.

Lucy declined. "I'm going to win this."

"Whoa, Natsu. You better be careful," Happy teased.

They popped a second balloon each. Lucy could've sworn she'd started sweating. This was far more intense than any battle she'd ever been in.

She stole a quick glance at Natsu's face. He was so serious, and yet he wore that same playful smile. He looked so happy. It was hard to believe just days before they'd buried Ultear in the snow. Life was so strange like that. One minute people were there, and the next you were saying goodbye.

Lucy's heart ached. She botched the final throw, too distracted, and the dart missed her balloon by a hair's breadth.

"No!" she yelled, sinking to her knees.

"You gotta wear whatever I choose, Lucy!" Happy cackled.

"But don't worry, Lucy. You can face your punishment tomorrow." Natsu offered his hand. "Today is all about seeing you smile."

She took the hand reluctantly. "What prize did you get?" she asked.

He revealed a slender ring, a silver band carved with sapphire stars. Much too small for his finger. He took her left hand and slid it gently onto her ring finger. Lucy's mind rushed into a thousand different places at once. She saw Natsu on bended knee in a thousand different places, at a thousand different times. Her head almost exploded with heat.

"For you," he said, sliding the ring home. "A promise."

Now she was definitely sweating. Lucy fanned her cheeks, embarrassed at the sneaky glances all around them. People were staring. "A promise?"

"Forever," was all he said.

"I'm going to die of embarrassment," she squeaked.

"You can't," he said. "We have more games to play!"

And off he ran.

A masterpiece of stars illuminated the night canvas, filling the empty plaza with mellow light. Lucy gazed long at the full moon, playing with the ring on her finger, twirling it back and forth. Exhaustion left her weary. They'd played for hours, bouncing between stalls, eating countless treats. Her stomach hurt.

What was it about the sky that left her so peaceful? She caressed the keys on her arm, wondering how Loke and Sagittarius fared after their fight. They'd been ripped from her so suddenly. So strangely. Lucy stared at her hands, remembering the chilling feeling of magic draining away. As Natsu's battle continued, Lucy's powers had faded, as though his very flames burned through her own magic source. But that was impossible.

In recent years, Lucy had never experienced anything like it. Could it have been the sensory link? Had it amplified their connection?

Part of Lucy wondered if Meredy's magic had accelerated the demon seed, but another part of Lucy, the part of her wallowing in regret, knew she was searching for a way to alleviate her guilt. This had nothing to do with Meredy.

There was still so much she didn't know.

Tapping her heels on the ground, Lucy leaned back on the wooden bench, watching spouts of water jump in and out of lacrima in the floor. Happy weaved around the spouts, calling to Lucy whenever he performed some kind of spin or trick. She watched him twirl around the biggest chute, laughing like a child.

Natsu stepped into view. "Here, Lucy."

He moved to her side, carrying three plastic cups of her chosen tea. He set Happy's aside and offered her a cup. She took it with a growing smile, her cheeks pink and sore from laughing so much. The day had been so special. He said nothing else as he sat beside her, waving whenever Happy called his name.

They felt like an honest family right now. A normal family.

In the quiet of night, Lucy was reminded in fragments of the year she'd spent alone in Crocus. The shards were still buried deep in her heart, pieces breaking away, reopening the wounds she'd fought so hard to close. Natsu's warmth cauterized the worst of it, but it wasn't enough. She was human. And humans didn't simply abandon their feelings one day. Her memories were fresh with the pain.

Lucy took a long sip of tea and set it down on the bench beside her. She looked again to the stars, seeking guidance. She clasped her hands in prayer.

"I'm so sorry, Ultear," she whispered. "Please forgive me."

"I thought I'd lost you, Lucy."

Lucy didn't look at him. Didn't dare. Happy's voice rang in the distance, his laughter hurting like salt in their shared wounds. Lucy stood from the bench.

"We'll get through this," she said.

Natsu grabbed her wrist. Lucy paused. This was different than before. She glanced over her shoulder to find him staring at the ground, tears dripping onto the pavement. Lucy forced herself to look away. She watched Happy in the fountain, oblivious.

"Lucy, about before, when the guild disbanded..."

"It's fine," she cut in. "You don't need to explain."

"I'm sorry, Lucy. I'm so sorry."

Despite the ache in his voice, Lucy couldn't help but smile. Even now, after everything they'd been through, Natsu wasn't questioning her. He wasn't asking her about the marks on her face. He didn't care about Zeref's book. The thing he worried about the most was still her. Just plain old Lucy Heartfilia and her silly, fragile feelings.

She tipped her head back, tears dripping down her cheeks. "I understand, Natsu. I understand why you left."

She could feel him staring at her back.

"I didn't know the guild was disbanding, Lucy. I didn't know you'd be all alone. I really thought I was doing the right thing."

"I'm not hurt that you left, Natsu." She pulled her hand free and turned to face him. "It hurt that you didn't even say goodbye. That you couldn't talk to me."

"I had to get stronger."

"So you left without saying anything?"

"You're my weakness, Lucy."

Lucy wasn't sure she'd heard him right. She stared at him, blinking away tears, her cheeks throbbing with heat.

"I had to leave you a letter," he continued. "Seeing your face, even for just a second, would've made me stay. Saying goodbye wasn't an option."

Lucy's heart sparkled with a conflicting medley of affection and hurt. She'd been so selfish. All that time, wallowing in loneliness, succumbing to her own pain while he suffered as well. She'd assumed he was off somewhere with Happy, laughing and joking like he always did. How could she have been so stupid?

"I need you by my side, Lucy."

Lucy smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Natsu. I should have been more understanding."

"No. You had every right to be upset."

He was right. One person's pain did not outweigh another's. They were both going through different things. His own suffering did not defunct hers.

"Losing Aquarius was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, Natsu. She was a piece of my mother. She was my friend."

"We'll find her," he promised.

"Even so, I would endure it all again if I had to. I would break every key in my possession to keep you safe. I would forego magic itself if I had to. That's just what love is."

Natsu raised his head. "Lucy..."

"Please don't make me regret what I did. Don't sit there and feel sorry for me. None of that matters now. We're together, like this. After everything we've been through, do you really think one year apart is enough to break us? We have a whole future ahead of us. Let's replace the bad memories with good ones."

It hurt. It hurt so much she couldn't stand it. But Lucy's words were sincere. It would take a long time to forget that long year without them. And she would never stop trying to let it go.

"I'm sorry, Lucy," he said again.

Lucy took his hand and squeezed. "Natsu, life without you is like a night without stars. Dark and lonely." But what she meant to say was, I love you. "You are my yesterday, my today, and my tomorrow. You are forgiven. You will always be forgiven."

"I'll never leave you again."

"That's right! You promised me, remember?" She flashed her ring finger. "We'll always be together. No matter what."

Natsu held her gaze with eyes so human, so vulnerable, Lucy thought she might drown in their sincerity.

"Forever, Lucy."

Song: Lost - Ahn Ji Yeon.

COMING SOON—–
CHAPTER EIGHT: PRECIOUS MEMORIES