A/N: I highly recommend reading the prelude before you read this chapter. It details some of Natsu's perspective when we switch to Lucy's POV, and will fill in a few blanks. I'm sorry if these last few chapters are a little clunky. This chapter would've been up sooner but I recently had to go back to work and I haven't been sleeping well (the stress and fears of going back too soon). I plan to work on some edits in the near future. Until then, enjoy the story in its rawest form haha.
CHAPTER TWENTY: AFTER THE RAIN
Like a dream that disappears
after sleeping overnight,
I'm afraid I'll forget you.
When I think of you casually,
what should I do with my anxiety?
"Bye. Bye now." I can't say this.
My heart is full of you.
What only I can do to love you.
I hope to see you again.
"Isn't it pretty?"
Natsu didn't turn at the intrusion. His heart didn't leap at the sweet lilt of Lucy's gentle tone in his head. Instead it sighed and dropped, leaving a gaping hole in his stomach, letting the cold truths freeze his bones and blood.
He stared numbly through the frosted window, watching whorls of snow blanket Magnolia in dusty layers of glittering white. It gathered thick on the pavement outside. Sunlight glinted across the frozen canal, reflecting an array of colours. At least, he assumed it did. Since Lucy's death, Natsu didn't know true vibrancy.
Only darkness.
He hadn't moved since returning to Lucy's apartment. It was habit by now—or should he call it a vice?—to sit on Lucy's bed and watch the world move while he remained frozen. Alone. Without her.
This wasn't like losing Igneel. It wasn't like any feeling he'd ever felt before. He'd thought Lucy's absence would cause him grief, distress, feelings so black and blue they'd leave him bruised and scarred. But it didn't. He couldn't mourn her, couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He just existed. Neither happy nor sad; neither broken nor whole.
"Are you really going to ignore me, Natsu?"
Natsu turned stiffly. Lucy met his gaze across the room, white dress blooming in delicate silks and red lace. Blonde waves tumbled down her back, trailing long across the floor like golden ribbons. After describing the gown to Levy, she'd deducated that it was a combined Star Dress of every spirit—a representation of her bond with them, and her desire to save him. And Natsu had seen it in his dreams. Been warned of this result so many times.
But he hadn't seen anything. Just like the Wise Mage Hitomi, he'd been blind. And like the others, he'd refused to hear the callings, refused to speak of them. And now he'd lost everything.
"You're not real," he said. The words tasted bitter on his tongue. He'd always thought reality after breathing in E.N.D.'s poison would be a scrumptious sweetness. It wasn't. Earth Land's vibrancy dulled, crimsons faded to nudes, sapphires to greys. Delicious flavours were cardboard bland. Nothing was the same without her.
He reached instinctively for his scarf, forgetting that it too was lost. Vanished with Lucy's body. He turned back to the window, doomed to the cold.
The bed squeaked beside him, and for just a moment, one fragile second, Natsu actually believed she'd come back to him. He turned to look at her, those dark eyes so full of life.
"You need to stop this," she said. "You're pushing them away. Fairy Tail, they're your family."
"Our family," he griped.
Natsu averted his gaze like a child avoiding his mother's lecture. Lucy didn't reprimand him, though. She cupped his hand on the bed, squeezing with a gentleness that shouldn't feel quite so real.
"Happy is better off without me," he muttered.
"He needs you, Natsu. You're both enduring something so…"
There wasn't a word in existence to describe how this felt.
Natsu should've ripped his hand free, should've yelled at her, screamed until the numb greys bled to a blistering black. It was there in his head, Why did you leave me? A question so toxic he was too afraid to grasp it for fear it'd rot all that remained of his heart. Instead he simply looked at her, attentive, and forced himself to smile as he said, "You're dead, Lucy."
Dead, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.
She touched his chest. "As long as you remember, I will always live on."
He wanted to melt into that touch, to believe that it was all real. He wanted her to yell at him and laugh with him and exist with him. But this wasn't Lucy.
It wasn't.
That first month after Lucy's death had been torture. He'd spent the majority of his time bedridden, magic so depleted he couldn't even conjure a spark in Igneel's name. Porlyusica had warned him that Lucy's sacrifice might not have worked. She'd spent hours a day monitoring him, watching for odd spikes in his magical power. Much like Minerva's transformation, they could not fully remove the demonic traces in Natsu's body. They could, however, maintain control of it now. The seed had withered and died, but traces of that power, of E.N.D.'s influence would remain. As a consequence, Natsu remembered everything about that day. Remembered how it felt to crush Lucy's bones, to hear her cry and do nothing.
He'd lost count of how many times Erza had rescued him from the brink of despair, or how many times Gray had talked him down from an episode. Wendy and Levy checked him frequently, watching his health and documenting any changes.
Lisanna visited him often, but her face was a cold reminder of how it felt to lose someone he loved so dearly. He cherished her compassion, but he tired of old wounds being sliced open. She'd understood and kept her distance, instead writing him letters to comfort him. It helped. Just a little.
The second month came with only a glimpse of light, like a sliver of sunlight trapped behind a locked door. Gildarts had returned to Fairy Tail, telling tales of dangerous adventures and doting on Cana where he saw fit. He'd thanked Natsu for his hard work in Crocus and offered to take him on his next journey. But how could he go? How could he pursue a new journey when their last one ended so badly?
Lucy squeezed his hand. "What are you thinking about?"
"Does it hurt?" he asked her. "Being stuck there, does it hurt?"
Lucy smiled. "I no longer remember what pain feels like."
A single tear rolled down Natsu's cheek. He'd been warned that Lucy would gradually lose memories as she wandered the Golden Plains. He'd tried everything he could think of to rescue her. "How soon will you forget..."
His heart seized at the very thought of her ever forgetting who he was. In his darkest thoughts, Natsu still saw Lucy in his mind's eye, a single fragment of her soul trapped within E.N.D.'s withered seed. Lucy didn't deserve to wander alone in the Golden Plains, losing herself, losing her light.
But there was nothing they could do.
By the fourth month, Natsu had exhausted all strategies. Not even Levy could find information on crossing into the afterlife beyond forbidden black magics, and when he'd begged to try, Makarov had demanded Levy stop investigating.
They didn't want him to end up like Zeref, cursed to a lonely immortal life. But Natsu might as well be cursed. Days felt like an eternity without her.
The fifth month came with new heartaches. After a devastating relapse, he'd scorched the guild's library in a near-demonic frenzy. They were lucky to salvage most of the books. He couldn't face Makarov after that. He couldn't face any of them anymore. And so he'd stopped visiting the guild.
Healing took time, Wendy reminded him. But time wandered in the wrong direction for Natsu. He wanted so badly to go backwards, to return to those special days with Lucy by his side.
It wasn't until the sixth month that Natsu stopped leaving the apartment. Winter's cold breath filled him with a burning ire. He stayed alone in the darkness, sleeping for hours a day.
Dreams were the only place he could see her now.
"You should apologise to Happy," she said. "He looked upset."
Natsu grimaced. Happy had pestered him all day to join him at the guild, but Natsu had refused, and the two had argued. He and Happy rarely argued.
"Are you okay?" he countered. "Is Lucy okay?"
Lucy tipped her head. "I'm just a dream, Natsu. I can't speak on Lucy's behalf. But she wouldn't want you to live like this. You should visit the guild, be with your friends. With our friends."
It occurred to Natsu then that he was dreaming, which meant he'd fallen asleep watching the snowfall. Alone.
And that meant he was vulnerable to—
Natsu woke with a start. His face hit the floor hard as Erza yanked him out of bed. She kicked him onto his back and stunned him with that famous Titania glare. The room spun dizzily for a moment, a blur of ceiling and walls, waterfalls of colour crashing to mute tones.
"That's enough," Erza snapped. "I can tolerate you breaking furniture and fighting with the others, but I won't let you mope around all day. Lucy wouldn't want this for you."
Natsu expelled a heavy breath. "Lucy doesn't get a say in this."
Fists on hips, Erza glowered over him like a raging thunderstorm breaking through the calm serenity of still clouds.
"Enough! Get. Up."
Natsu sat upright, but not because she demanded it. His right arm tingled from having slept on it too long.
"Come with me," she beckoned.
Natsu rolled his eyes. "Right now?"
"Hmmm. I suppose you should dress first," she agreed.
"I don't want to."
"I don't care," Erza snapped. "I'm done babying you. We're a guild, Natsu. We aren't whole with you gone."
"We aren't whole without Lucy, either!"
Erza yanked him off the ground. "We miss her too, Natsu. We miss her every single day. The guild will never be the same without her." To his surprise, tears dripped onto Erza's cheeks. "And now I fear I'm losing you to the same fate."
Natsu's resolve weakened, the bile in this throat thinning just enough that he could breathe again. "Fine."
Her smile brightened. "Good. Because I need you to sign some paperwork. You caused quite a bit of destruction, you know."
He grimaced. Of course there's a catch.
Natsu collected his clothes from Lucy's desk, exposing the mess of keys he'd left there. He'd collected each one after her death, hoping to gain some answers, trying and failing to summon their missing friends. He didn't know much about celestial spirits, but Loke had always come when called. To hear only silence now cemented Lucy's death. Made it so real. So final.
Something hit the ground with a small clink as he dressed. Aquarius's broken key. He'd kept it on his person ever since. Not that it did him any good. Aquarius had been able to suppress whatever darkness corrupted Lucy's magic that day, but she hadn't been able to save her. It had all been for nothing.
Irritated, Natsu stepped over the key and finished dressing, following Erza into the billowing blizzard outside. He didn't really need a coat, but she insisted he wear one anyway. He'd kind of missed her motherly tendencies.
The guild was eerily quiet. Conversations didn't boom like they used to. Laughter didn't echo and fights didn't explode into chaos. Everyone just sat with their drinks and their feelings, nursing shared wounds.
Natsu's entry had only dampened their mood. Happy hadn't joined him until later. They both sat in silence now, never sure what to say.
Gajeel joined them shortly after, sitting across the table with his face in his hands. He'd never looked so ragged.
Juvia dropped into a seat beside him. "You look tired, Gajeel."
"I love those kids," he mumbled. "But I'm so tired, Juvia. They just won't sleep."
"Well, nobody said being a father would be easy," Juvia said.
Natsu tried to tune out their conversation. Thoughts of parenthood left him aching for the future he'd seen. And for the promise he'd made to Lucy. He'd thought about it so many times—how he'd propose to her. About the family they'd create. All things that never mattered before.
Cana slid into the seat on Gajeel's other side. She took Natsu's hands across the table. "Shall I read your future?"
Natsu didn't even have the strength to decline.
Gray slid a drink across the table and joined Natsu's side. "Are you drunk again?"
"Hey! I haven't had a drink in months," she said, clearly insulted.
"Gildarts does enough drinking for the both of ya," Gajeel sniped. "I found him buried under the snow this mornin'. Scared the iron from my soul."
Cana couldn't stifle the embarrassment as it illuminated her cheeks. "My old man has his issues, but at least he's here."
Natsu stared at their joined hands. "Go ahead," he said. "Read it." It came out unexpectedly bold, the words charged with a dare.
Everyone stared at him.
"Have you lost your mind?" Gray asked. "You're still recovering."
"Juvia is worried about you too."
Natsu shrugged. "She won't see anything."
Cana rose to the challenge. She held perfectly still, the colour bleeding from her eyes. Natsu felt nothing. No tinge of magic, no pain, no fear. He simply sat and waited. Elfman and Lisanna joined the table silently, both leaning forward expectantly. Everyone seemed to expect a crackle of magic, a sudden surge of power. Nothing happened. After a long moment, Cana withdrew her hands, tears dripping from her eyes.
"What's going on?" Lisanna asked.
"That's never happened to me before," Cana grumbled, still not entirely lucid. "Did I mess up?"
"What is it?" Gray pressed. "Did you see something?"
"I saw the future," she said.
Natsu's skin prickled.
"We know that," Gajeel scoffed.
"What's wrong, Cana?" Juvia asked tentatively. "Does something hurt?"
Natsu stood so quickly he jostled his chair with a screech. "It doesn't matter."
"I know what you're going through," Elfman said. "When Mira and I lost Lisanna, we—"
Natsu smashed his fists on the table. "But she came back, Elfman! Lisanna is back! But Lucy is…" He sank into his seat. "She's gone."
Lisanna took his hand gently. "Don't be mad at big brother. He's just trying to help."
Natsu stared at the guild mark on his hand, a replacement for the one he'd stolen. Mirajane hadn't questioned him when he'd asked for it. Nobody ever fought his decisions now. When Lucy died, she'd taken Fairy Tail's spirit with her.
"Six months, Lisanna," he said.
Six agonising months.
"I was gone for much longer," she soothed. "Don't lose hope, Natsu. It's all we have left."
"So, are you gonna tell us about his future or what?" Gajeel said.
"It wasn't his future," Cana said. "It was Lucy's."
Natsu lowered his guard ever so slightly, that steel edge leaving his face. He allowed himself just the briefest moment of hope.
"What did you see?" he demanded.
"Ease up, Natsu," Gray snapped.
Erza joined them at the end of the table, having clearly overheard their conversation. She took a long sip from her glass and awaited the answer.
Happy hopped across the table and fell into Lisanna's waiting arms. "Lucy doesn't have a future," he said sadly.
"She does," Cana said. "I saw it with my own eyes."
"What did you see?" Erza asked.
"I saw her. She was wearing this big white dress. And her hair, it was so long, almost like time was going by much faster." Cana shook her head. "I think she was crossing a bridge."
Natsu bristled. "You didn't see her future," he said. "You saw her death."
"No!" Cana slammed her hands on the table. "It didn't feel that way. It felt like, like she was coming back to us."
"That's enough," Erza said, diffusing the tension. "We should discuss something else."
"Actually, I liked where this conversation was headed," a voice said.
They turned to find Sting crossing the guild hall with Yukino on his arm. She smiled when she saw Natsu, though it wasn't sympathetic like all the others. This was light. Happy. Nobody ever smiled like that in front of him these days.
"The guild master came himself," Erza said. "It's an honour."
Sting laughed at that. "I wanted to see my buddy Natsu."
Natsu might've risen to the occasion before, now he had no energy to fight or banter or laugh. He acknowledged their guests with a nod and turned back to the table, Lisanna fussing Happy beside him.
"Did you accompany Sting for his meeting with the master?" Erza asked Yukino.
She shook her head and smiled. "Actually, I'm here to see Natsu."
"Why me?"
"I wanted to talk to you about Lucy."
Natsu turned to face her. "She's dead. There's nothing to talk about."
He didn't know when he'd started admitting it, but something in Natsu had broken after his relapse. He'd found himself saying it more and more, talking about her death, making it real in his mind. He needed closure. He wanted to move forward, to carry on for Lucy's sake. But something always held him back.
"Actually…" Yukino hesitated a moment, a ghost phasing between hope and disbelief. A small smile lit up her face as she twirled a key between two fingers. "I have reason to believe she's still alive."
Everyone stood at once.
"I knew it!" Cana yelled.
Natsu didn't want to believe it. Couldn't. "What do you mean?"
Juvia threw herself at Gray, squealing with such delight it made Yukino's words turn real. Natsu could almost see Lucy standing in front of them. Alive.
Erza resumed her role as the rational friend. "But how do you know this?"
Yukino held up the key in her hands. "Libra."
The group shared a long, confusing look.
"Something is amiss in the spirit realm," Yukino said.
"In the spirit realm?" Gajeel rubbed his face. "I'm too tired for this."
"It's possible that Lucy is there."
"But I thought humans couldn't enter the Celestial Spirit World," Juvia said.
"There are special circumstances that alter this," Yukino said.
"That's right. We were invited once," Erza said.
"I wasn't able to learn much," Yukino went on, "but I've come to believe that Lucy's body was taken there when she died. From what I've heard, Lucy's spirits broke the rules by taking her back there, and it has caused quite the commotion. Many keyholders are unable to conjure their spirits because of this. Myself included. As of yesterday, I can't open Libra's gate at all."
Natsu's arms went limp at his sides. "She's..." He thought about all those nights he'd begged Loke to appear. He remembered Lucy's body shattering and disappearing.
"I also have a message for you. Minerva couldn't bring herself to face you, Natsu. She wanted me to apologise on her behalf. She thinks she gave Lucy the idea to expend all of her magical power in order to kill the demon seed," Yukino said. "We believe her body remains alive in the spirit realm. Lucy's magic will replenish more quickly there. And if it does, there might be a chance for her to return."
"That makes sense." Erza nodded. "Under normal circumstances, a magician wouldn't be able to replenish their magic in time. But time moves differently in their world. It's possible she could really survive."
Sparks filled Natsu's belly for the first time in weeks. "I want to see her. I want to go there! Now!"
"You can't. Not even I have the power to do that," Yukino said.
Natsu's hope burned to anger. "I have to do something to help them! If it takes too long, Lucy will be..."
She'd forget everything, and then there'd be no getting her back. A soul couldn't return to the body it no longer remembered.
"We understand," Sting said, "but it's impossible. I'm sorry, Natsu. I know empty hopes aren't what you need right now."
"Nonsense. Any hope is better than none," Erza said.
No. Natsu didn't want hope. He wanted action! Damn it, he needed to see her! To do something!
He stormed out of the guild, voices trailing in his shadow.
Happy tumbled after him.
What would you give?
The words echoed, sharp like knives, cutting him where they hit. His answer was always the same. Always.
He would give anything.
He would do anything.
It didn't matter. Yukino's words didn't matter. As long as a piece of Lucy's soul remained trapped inside him, Lucy would never return. He couldn't free her. He couldn't see her. It was all over and it had taken him far too long to see it.
He reached Lucy's apartment and slammed the door open hard. Natsu snatched up Loke's key and begged, pleaded, for someone to answer. Nobody did. That silence confused him, controlled him.
He couldn't move. He sank to his knees, shock and hope tangled in his chest. His stomach hurt. How could they do this? How could Loke keep her there and not say anything? Blame and rage and horror filled him completely. He lost himself again. Emotions returned to his numb heart.
"Natsu..." Happy edged closer.
"I'm sorry," he gasped, the pain coming in waves so fast they dragged him under. "I'm sorry, buddy."
Six months of anguish ensnared him.
Happy fell into his arms, and together they mourned not only her death, but the loss of their lives, the absence of normalcy and feeling. That chasm of emptiness seemed to open beneath his feet, and Natsu plummeted into the darkness, falling into the jowls of the monster he'd been running from all this time.
Grief.
Lucy didn't know how long she'd been walking. The bridge stretched on for miles, enveloped in eternal sunlight. All around her flowers bloomed on patches of land, golden petals floating across the rivers far below.
It was a glorious, beautiful day. For the most part.
There was something wrong with the sky. She'd only closed her eyes for a second, but now the world was changing. Hidden within the haze of sunlight, stars shone vibrantly with fond memories of night. All around her their presence hummed with voices she couldn't quite hear. Whispers of her name, desperate and lonely.
She didn't know where she'd gone while she rested, but she knew it wasn't here. She remembered talking to someone, but his voice was unfamiliar and sad. Lucy didn't want to remember it.
"How far will you go?" Future Lucy appeared before her, hooded face dark in the harsh sunlight. "You're stronger than this. Why are you giving up so quickly?"
Lucy couldn't explain the sudden feeling in her chest. It felt so familiar and cold, but it spilled through existence like water melting through cloth. She didn't have the strength to wring it out.
"We're going home." A small hand gripped Lucy's fingers. That's right, she'd been travelling with her childhood self. She'd promised Lucy that they'd be reunited with her parents if she crossed the bridge. "Don't get in our way."
Future Lucy took Lucy's right hand. "You're forgetting too much."
Lucy didn't like the way she stared at her bare hand, as though something should've been there in its place. Future Lucy traced a symbol onto Lucy's skin. Slow, purposeful. It was...
Familiar.
"Don't take another step. Please."
Lucy pulled her hand away. "I have to keep walking. If I keep walking, I might be able to see him again. I think he needs me."
That person with the sad voice.
"That's not how it works. Natsu isn't waiting for you at the end of the bridge, Lucy. If you keep going like this, you'll never see him again."
Lucy withdrew her hands and stepped away from the two apparitions. Odd sounds filled her head, soft pulses like hearts beating out of sync.
"Don't move," Future Lucy begged. "Every step on this bridge is a memory lost. A fragment of time you might never get back. Natsu is waiting for you, but only if you remember."
Lucy shoved past her. "I don't know who that is!"
Future Lucy caught her arm. "You do. Try to remember."
Lucy hesitated. There was something there, a fondness, a familiarity, but it was so fleeting she didn't care. Whatever it was, it couldn't have been that important.
"I need to continue. I want to find him."
"Then I have to stop you."
Future Lucy overpowered her quickly, and together they tumbled over the rails of the bridge, plummeting into the water far below. Lucy sank into the river's cold embrace.
'Being stuck there, does it hurt?'
She just wanted to see that person again.
Lucy washed up on the shore alone. A glittering beach so black and eerie it didn't belong in the Golden Plains. She hauled herself across the sand, choking out water and air. Warm arms lifted her off the ground, and an even warmer face greeted her.
"Mother?"
"Lucy Heartfilia." Layla did not smile. "My name is Ankhseram, and you have crossed into my domain."
Lucy took a cautious step back. Something about the name echoed familiarly, as though she should know it, should fear it. Obscene power emanated from her mother's form, otherworldly, unlimited.
"I appear to you in a form you still remember," Ankhseram explained. "Do not be afraid. I don't mean you harm."
She didn't know why, but her body trembled violently, shaken as though gripped in great fists of ice. She couldn't move. His power was absolute, commanding, deadly. He was a God.
"Zeref," she remembered. "What happened to Zeref?"
"He and Mavis crossed the bridge long before you." Layla spread her arms. "Your compassion for others never ceases to amaze me. I have watched you for a very long time."
Somehow, Lucy felt lighter. Was this relief? She'd almost forgotten what that felt like.
"I have seen your value of life, Lucy Heartfilia. I have witnessed the depths of your heartache. You sacrificed Aquarius to protect someone else's light. You restored the balance Zeref destroyed when you took that abomination's place here. You are the living essence of magic itself."
Lucy's mind reached for the memories she'd misplaced. "What do you mean?"
"I am not merciless, Lucy. Your mother's sacrifice did not go unnoticed. I offered her a second chance, as only I can, but she refused. And now indebted to her, I offer that life to you in her stead."
Lucy gripped her face, pain sluicing along the edges of her mind like dark waters trying to wash something ashore. She was trying to remember something. Someone.
"Your spirit friends work hard to rouse you. They would break their own laws to see you alive and well. Do you understand, Miss Heartfilia? The lives you have touched. They each beckon me, willing to give everything to save you. Never before have I witnessed such love and despair for one soul."
Lucy shook her head, confused, afraid. "No. I don't understand!"
"Continue across the bridge, Lucy. Should you retain but one memory of your past life, I will grant you your wish." Layla deigned to smile. "If only you're able to remember it."
Her wish?
When she appeared on the bridge again, Lucy saw no sunlight. Only darkness. Constellations of stars sparkled on their inky canvas. She walked alone, every step purposeful, bold. The longer she walked, the more she forgot why she was walking, and where she was trying to go.
She played idly with the ring on her finger, something about it a comfort. Stone glistened under her bare feet, the silks of her white dress dragging heavy across the bridge. Each step became more of a burden, until she found herself no longer walking at all. She stared down into the once calm rivers, their waters raging, a reflection of her face plunged into their dark depths. The bridge trembled.
Lucy caught the rail and gasped. The ring slipped off her finger and fell into the waters below, swallowed in the rushing darkness. An odd wave of nausea filled her. Tears trickled down her cheeks, but Lucy continued onward, pieces of herself crumbling with every step. The red threads on her dress fell loose from their seams, forgotten in trails behind her.
Lucy, the stars sang. Please wake up.
The words assailed her, strong winds pushing against her back. Her steps involuntarily quickened.
It's not working, another star whispered.
We have to keep trying.
We don't have much longer. The Spirit King...
He gave us permission.
He gave us three days, Aquarius! We've lost two already.
Lucy stopped at the end of the bridge, stared into the open fields stretched out before her. What was it? Why was her heart racing so much? The wind howled, urging her to take that last step.
You brat. Lucy flinched at the voice. How dare you sleep so peacefully while we do all the work?
She gripped the rails for support. Something hung from the rail beneath her left hand. She retrieved the tattered scarf and stared at the bloody material. Lucy's heart continued its dangerous pounding. She reached for the repaired chain around her neck, the lock warming beneath her fingers. Light bloomed.
'I want to live.'
She stepped off the bridge into a white chamber. The scarf disappeared in her hands, leaving only the distant feeling of emptiness. Somebody screamed, angry, frustrated, lost.
Something clinked and rolled across the floor, landing with a clatter by her feet. It was her ring. She slid it home on her ring finger, surprised at its warmth. Had somebody thrown it?
Veins of darkness trespassed like black vines growing along the far wall. She passed into the shadows, light pooling by her feet, illuminating everything the shadows touched. And with that light came sudden clarity.
Natsu waited in the darkness, trapped in a spiral of anguish. The haze of sorrow spun around him like a cocoon. She passed through the cold grief and cupped his face in her right hand, fingers drifting into his hair.
"You look well, Natsu," she lied, hoping to soothe him.
He squeezed her left hand, unable to break the shackles of his grief. The way he looked into her eyes made Lucy's heart ache.
"Lucy..."
His gaze flickered to the chain on her neck. She sensed regret as pulled the matching key from his pocket, a deep lapis where once it had been pure white crystal.
"You kept it," she said.
"I miss you," he said, his eyes wet with tears.
Her gaze danced over the bloody scarf around his neck.
So this was a dream. His dream.
"Do you remember our promise, Natsu? That you would live, no matter what." She caressed his cheek. "Live, Natsu. Live a long, human life. You have things to do now. Our friends need you. They love you."
You're here, a voice whispered. Something called to her.
"You mustn't sleep and mope all day," she said, unraveling the scarf from his neck. She smoothed the blood until it vanished.
"But this is the only place I can see you."
Suddenly Lucy remembered. She remembered walking across the bridge and finding herself here sometimes, encouraging him, comforting him. She never remembered their visits when she returned to the Plains. Couldn't even remember his name. But somehow, Lucy's soul kept finding its way back to him.
I'm right here, the voice urged.
"This will be the last time, Natsu."
He visibly paled. "What?"
"I won't visit you again. So please, promise me. Promise me that you'll live a good life."
No matter what. No matter where the bridge had taken her. That was Lucy's truest wish—that he would be happy. She wanted that more than her own life.
"I can't," he said.
"Just try. For me."
"Why did you do it, Lucy?" His voice cracked. "Why did you die?"
I'm coming.
She cupped his face and kissed him, his skin unbearably hot. "Because I love you," she said.
He shook her hard. "Friends don't die for each other, Lucy!"
Lucy saw herself in Natsu's darkness. The fragment of her soul she'd left behind. Forgotten, until now. That Lucy raced across the empty chamber.
"But we're not friends," she said. "And I would die for you a thousand times over."
Darkness tore her from his arms. Lucy drifted through it slowly, sinking and floating helplessly. A soft twinkling of light fluttered into the shadows. She reached for the fragment, barely catching it in her left hand. The lock on her chest began to glow, arrays of colour blossoming through the darkness.
She felt suddenly whole.
When the darkness cleared, Lucy realised she was still falling after Future Lucy pushed her. She plummeted into the cold depths of the waters below and woke to someone pulling her from the Magnolia canal.
"Not my grandest entrance," Aquarius said.
Lucy spluttered water and shivered. The folds of her white dress clung heavily to her drenched skin. Aquarius helped her onto the bank, where remnants of snowfall sprinkled the ground a dusty white.
"Aquarius?" Lucy couldn't catch her breath. Her body felt so heavy, so foreign. Her heart pounded.
"Small breaths, Lucy. You're all right."
"What's going on?"
"You've caused a lot of trouble. But don't worry, the worst is over now. Let the adults deal with the consequences."
Lucy didn't understand. She felt so faint, so strange.
"You're leaving," she realised.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't go," she begged.
"You should go home. He's waiting for you."
Lucy threw her arms around Aquarius's neck, squeezing hard. "I feel like I should be thanking you."
"Of course you should. I just saved your life. But enough of that, there's something I need to tell you."
Lucy didn't like the tone in her voice. "What is it?"
"You won't be able to see us for a while," she confessed. "Your power is too weak, and we..."
Lucy became vaguely aware of the strange magic in her body. Cleansed like water cleared of pollution. It was new. And weak.
"Natsu," Lucy realised. "What happened to Natsu?!"
"You did it. You selfish brat, you used up every bit of magic to save him and now you don't remember?"
Lucy balked. She didn't dare speak another word for fear of being berated. She simply clung to Aquarius, seeking warmth in the brisk air.
"When I saw you dead, I couldn't take it. I broke the rules, Lucy. We all did. We fought to keep you in our world until your magic replenished, suspended you between life and death. Do you understand? You won't be able to summon us again. At least not for a while."
Tears dripped onto Lucy's face. "How long until..."
"We don't know. It's our punishment for disobeying the rules and bringing you into our world," Aquarius said. "You're lucky your contracts are still intact. But don't worry, Lucy. Because it's you, I'm sure the others will be pardoned soon. Until they are, they won't hear you calling. Do you understand? They don't have permission to pass through the gates right now."
"Why would you risk something so dangerous?"
Aquarius quirked a brow, and Lucy saw the unspoken words in that gesture: because we love you. But what she actually said was "It could have been a lot worse, had it been only a few of us. But everyone stood together. All of us. Libra and Pisces, too. Your reputation precedes you in our world. Nobody wanted to see you die."
"What about you?"
"Given the special circumstances, I will be returning to Alina." Aquarius caressed Lucy's cheek. "Be good, you idiot. Stop dwelling on the past. Wherever you go, I'll always be with you."
"I don't want to say goodbye."
"Lucy, do you remember what you used to say to me at the manor? You would always ask me why I was in a bad mood, and no matter what I said, you always gave me the same answer."
To Lucy's shame, she didn't remember.
"'Aquarius, do you know what comes after the rain?'"
Lucy expelled a sudden breath. "Joy."
When Aquarius vanished, Lucy felt a small piece of her die, but that piece wasn't enough to kill her. She wobbled to her feet, shivering violently in the cold, and walked barefoot to her apartment. Her feet hurt, hurt. She could feel everything again. Emotions and pains and cold. Alive.
She was alive.
'He's waiting for you.'
Lucy hesitated. She almost knocked on the door, but Natsu's voice stopped her. She heard him screaming inside, heard him crying. Lucy couldn't bring herself to move.
She'd done this to him. It was all her fault.
No. She had to be strong. Otherwise, Aquarius's sacrifice would be for nothing. Lucy swung the door open. Natsu and Happy turned to face her, their faces flushed with tears. Plue wrestled in Natsu's arms and vanished with a goodbye wave.
She surveyed the mess all around them, Lucy's things thrown around, her desk on its side. This was the aftermath of a demon's tantrum. Neither one blinked for the longest time.
"Hey!" she yelled. "You jerks better clean this up!"
Those words spun like keys opening thousands of locks. Both rushed into her embrace, their obvious disbelief melted by Lucy's clammy, trembling arms. She wasn't strong enough to catch them, so they tumbled to the ground outside, her body crushed to the cold pavement.
"Welcome home, Lucy!"
Lucy dissolved into tears. "I'm home."
Song: So Long - Paul Kim.
COMING SOON—–
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: ONCE AND FUTURE