The silence in the empty room was heavy and oppressive. I sat slumped on my hospital bed, staring down at my lap. The only sound was the steady droning of the machines monitoring my vitals.

My parents will arrive sooner or later, so I'll probably stay here and do nothing while I wait for them.

You might wonder where is Isshiki. She had to leave when she was resuming me what had happened when I was unconscious.

When I woke up and met her, she was in hospital with her parents. She hadn't expected me to wake up this morning, but she stayed to talk to me for a while. Of course, her parents called her soon after, so she couldn't stay with me for too long.

But she said enough to give me a global understanding of what had happened.

How they were told about my actual condition, how went Hanoru's birthday and Yukinoshita and Yuigahama's states from her perspective.

How shall I resume it?

Let's get straight to the point. Was the request a success?

The answer is : No.

What went wrong? He liked the cake sure, he spent a good time with them but, it seems that wasn't enough.

The real problem was that none of them was in the mood to celebrate something. Especially after what they've learnt about. They tried to look happy, to make sure the atmosphere wasn't awkward, but they just couldn't.

Isshiki told me that Yukinoshita had left in the middle of the party. She couldn't bear the sight of a man who was in a similar condition to me. Every time she looked her eyes on him, all she saw was me, a version of me near my death time, all cold and thin.

When Yukinoshita left, the atmosphere of the group quickly deteriorated. Yuigahama was no longer able to put on a forced smile, and soon followed Yukinoshita out of the room.

Isshiki was left alone with her grandfather. That was at this moment that she offered her gift to him.

What she had been preparing for an entire week was an album picture. A compilation of memories of the so-called childhood she had with him. To make him know how happy he had made her.

I was told that he was touched by it, but she herself didn't know how much or if it were enough.

Besides, there was one thing she told me that was still stuck in my mind. One of her last sentences before she leaves the room.

"Yukino-senpai changed."

I felt tight inside my chest as those words left her lips.

For one of the rare times in my life, I felt like hating myself.

The Yukinoshita I've always known, so beautiful, so pure, who never told a lie and despised it like a warrior despising their nemesis. I think I used to admire her, this part of her who knew no weakness to my eyes.

I realized that setting such high expectations on her was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. The worst part wasn't just the act of placing expectations on this person, it was the fact that I allowed myself to become overly invested in those expectations.

Actually, she had a weakness.

And I cowardly took advantage of it for pathetic reasons. All this time, I kept sinking the knife deeper and deeper until I totally broke her. If I had kept going, I would have left her alone and completely shattered.

I asked for something genuine, without realizing that it was right in front of my eyes. The more time passed, the more I was pushing it away from me out of fear that I hurt it.

But the truth was, everything I had done to avoid it, made it happen.

Now, what am I left with?

Creak!

The sudden sound of the door opening interrupted my thoughts mid-stream. I turned my head to see my family walking into the room.

"Onii-chan!" My adorable little sister ran towards my bed and wrapped her arms around me, with shaky, closed eyes.

"Sorry for scaring you so much, Komachi..." I said, stroking her hair gently.

"How did you manage to go out without taking your pills, seriously, Hachiman." My mother scolded me.

"...I know I have been careless."

"How do you feel?" My father asked.

"For now, good. I just had some struggle to stand on my feet."

"Alright, just don't overwork yourself, okay? Oh, by the way, we've got to meet your friends," my mother said.

Which I am already aware of it.

"And they're all pretty girls. I didn't know you were that kind of boy, Hachiman." She teased.

"I assure you, Mom, he's not."

Why did you have to use such a dismissive tone, dear Komachi? Not that she was wrong, though.

I met Yukinoshita because I was forced to join the Service Club, then Yuigahama joined later. As for Isshiki... she was just squatting there. Let's just say that except for Yukinoshita, the other girls were kind of drawn to me.

"They were as scared as us for you. They must care about you very much, especially the black haired one. If you saw in which state her eyes were in the end."

I don't think I would like to see.

It seemed like I had to listen to my mother and Komachi go on and on about how I need to be careful when I'm out or simply living for the umpteenth time. But I knew they meant well, so I just acquiesced without complaining.

I couldn't help but being distracted by the sight of my cute little sister showing me how much she was worried, I didn't pay attention to what they were saying because of that.

Be comprehensible, please, it's not every day I get to watch such a thing. So I kinda enjoyed being scolded and warned at the same time.

Having people paying this much attention to you does feel good, doesn't it?

We chatted for what felt like hours, and it seemed that they didn't really pay attention to how long they spent time here.

It seemed like all of their worries centered around me at the moment.

But this ended when my mother finally thought about checking the time on her watch.

"It's been quite a while. I think Komachi shouldn't stay too distracted, she has exams to pass very soon." She said.

"Mom, my exams aren't more important than Onii-chan."

"You're right, but your brother wouldn't like to see you fail them because of him. Do you understand what I mean?"

"Komachi, I'm touched by your concern but, honestly, you should listen to your mother. I don't wanna feel any guilt for that."

She has neglected her studies too much lately because she wanted to look after me. I can't count how many hours she could be studying that have been thrown away because of me.

Komachi, you have no idea how many points you earned by doing that...

But, for your sake, don't let your focus being carried away by my condition.

"But..." She glanced at me with a hint of disappointment crossing her features, and then gave in. "Fine..."

"Good, now let's go home. You have to study."

Komachi reluctantly nodded and began to follow her mother out of the room.

"Go without me, I'm staying a little longer," my father informed, as my mother answered with an understanding nod before leaving with Komachi.

The previous lively ambiance of the room was instantly transformed into a somber quietness, like the room had been blanketed with a heavy shroud of sadness.

It was only me and Dad now.

At moments like that, I could feel that the next words I'd exchange with my father would be serious. I can't really put into words how I felt, but I've been in this situation so many times that the weight of the air around me, the oppressive silence in the room and my father's thoughtful gaze were enough to warn me.

"You're going to have a lot of troubles to deal with." He finally broke the silence.

"Do you think I don't already know this?"

"I know that you know. I was reminding you."

What else is he going to remind me?

"You made quite the mess on your friends. Between one whose icy facade appeared non-existent and another who did everything in her power not to shed a single tear..."

"..."

"I'm not saying that to scold you, you know?"

"What are you going to say next?"

"I could have a small talk alone with that Yukinoshita."

"You did?"

It surprises me that someone like him has managed to have a discussion with her.

"And she's... Quite the unique girl."

Unique? That's a good way to put it, I guess.

"I saw the tumultuous emotions in her eyes. She looked like she didn't know how to feel."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"She is at that delicate point where anger and sadness intersect, a mixture of emotions that is hard to distinguish from one another."

My next conversation with her will be tight.

Honestly, I don't even know if she would ever be able to look me in the eyes after this.

"Does she hate me?" I then asked.

"I don't know, you should ask her."

That doesn't help me a lot... thanks Dad.

...He was right, though. I didn't want our relationship to be severed because of my own mistakes.

The mere thought of being eternally separated from her, and never being able to see her or interact with her again without trying to fix things between us, left a horrible taste in my mouth.

"This girl, Yukinoshita, you love her, don't you?" he asked out of the blue, my eyes widening at the unexpected question.

"H-Hum..."

"This is not the time to be embarrassed, son."

Easy to say when you're the one asking.

When I was met with such a serious gaze from my father, I knew I couldn't lie or try to avoid the matter.

"That's... That's not evident to answer," I replied, glancing at the window.

"Is that so?"

No, it isn't.

Deep down, the answer is very clear. Why am I even stuttering to say it out loud?

Because it's always been embarrassing to talk about this subject with my father, I suppose.

"...Yes, I do."

"You do what?"

He's really pushing me to say it clearly...

"I-I love her, satisfied?"

He leaned back in his chair, his arms crossing in front of his chest.

I realise even more now how embarrassing it is to admit it in front of one of your parents.

"Well, I'm satisfied we could say." He stood up. "Do you know when you'll leave the hospital?"

"By the end of the day, I believe."

"Alright, write to your mother once you're ready." He said, walking to the door and leaving the room.

I don't know how I managed to bear his habit to always try to see through people's facades. Sometimes I wonder if he's not a mind reader.

Enough of that, there was something I've been wondering since Isshiki left. Did she tell Yukinoshita and Yuigahama that I woke up?

I had no clue where my phone was. My family hadn't handed it back to me, which left only two possibilities: either it's in my house or somewhere else.

What I mean is that I can't know if I should expect another visit today. Just in case, I'll wait until tonight. Though, it's not like I was allowed to leave sooner, and it's even worse since I am still a minor.

A singular question suddenly emerged from the depths of my mind, consuming all other worries and concerns that had plagued my mind.

Will I see Yukinoshita today?

Am I even ready to face her?

The mere thought of it sent a quiver through my heart, causing my pulse to race with anticipation and fear, all at once.

Damn it.

I just wanna see her smile right now.

Where does this sudden urge come from? I don't care, I just need it.

I sighed, knowing that coaxing a smile from her under these circumstances would be no simple feat. In all honesty, I knew I was far more likely to provoke tears than smiles.

The door handle clanked as it was turned, and the soft creak of the door opening echoed through the room, announcing the arrival of a doctor.

"Good morning, Hikigaya. It's a relief to see you finally awake. I have come to check on your condition." The doctor explained calmly.

I shifted the position of my body on the bed to accommodate the doctor as he began to examine me.

When he was done, he announced me that everything was okay for now.

"Avoid overexerting yourself in the future, your body has become even more limited than before, so be careful."

"Got it."

"Now, I'll be leaving. You can walk in the courtyard of the hospital if you want to kill some time. Rest well, Hikigaya." He ended and headed out of the room.

I pondered the idea of getting some fresh air, stepping outside for a change. According to the doctor, my body should be able to function normally, although my physical state had become somewhat weakened as a result.

I carefully swung my legs over the edge of my bed and placed my feet on the cold, hard floor.

I recall that the doctor had brought back my previous clothes here, so I didn't waste any time to put them back on.

Once I was ready, I finally walked out of my room, my steps much more fluent than earlier.

The cool and revitalizing breeze gently tickled my nose, the warm sunlight illuminating the courtyard and casting a brilliant beam upon my face. It appeared that the snow had significantly melted since the last time I had visited this place. I strolled leisurely through the vast courtyard, observing the boisterous children playing happily and the other patients who were enjoying the tranquil atmosphere.

I stopped in front of the fontain of the courtyard, I was staring at it but my mind was somewhere else.

I just realized, but Valentine's Day is coming soon, isn't it?

Ah, as if I was really concerned by it. I still hope I'll receive something from Komachi, though.

I would have got my hopes far too high if I hoped for Yukinoshita to cook chocolates for me.

The noise of wheels reached my ears, as if someone in a wheelchair was moving in my direction. Glancing on my left, I noticed Isshiki's grandfather, Hanoru, next to me and watching the fountain, and a doctor behind him, holding his wheelchair.

Did he come here especially on purpose? Or is it just a coincidence?

I'll know when he'll speak up, I guess.

"Happy birthday." I am finally the one cutting the silence.

"Thank you."

"How are you?"

"Fine, yet. What about you?"

"I've known better."

"I guess so."

Our exchange was simple, only a few words were employed by both of us. Or we could say, it was just usual formalities.

"I apologize for my earlier rudeness," he said.

"I wasn't really nice in my choices of words either, I guess. It's fine, I almost forgot about it."

"So, we're on the same boat, it seems."

"..."

"And as I could see, you weren't in a good position to give me lessons about what I should do in my current situation, were you?"

His tone of voice seemed to carry a hint of teasing, as if he was gently poking fun at me.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

"We both made mistakes, and hurt the feelings of people close to us."

Something has changed in him, he doesn't seem to be in the same mindset as before. That's a good news.

"But don't be ashamed. I lived for 7 decades and I still managed to do the wrong things. It's only normal for a young one to fail on this."

"What are you going to do now?"

"Give my family the warmth of my presence as much as possible until I can't anymore."

Isshiki's request turns out to be a success.

"That's good to hear."

"You ought to consider doing the same, you know. There are numerous people who profundly care about you."

Now he's the one teaching me lessons? Ah, it's only common that I'm told advice by elders.

"I know, but... It's complicated right now."

"No matter how complicated it is, today I realized that when someone is watching a loved one dying a slow death, they feel their heart arche each seconds their state deteriorate. Yesterday, I saw Iroha's tears cascading like a torrent across her face. She cares about both of us, and will lose us both."

Isshiki didn't tell me about this part.

"And I could swear on everything that watching someone you love in a total breakdown is a true nightmare..." he ended.

Picturing an image of her breaking down in my mind is impossible. I have always known a strong and unbothered Yukinoshita all this time. If I saw her cry, how would she look like?

No, really, I can't picture it.

Or, maybe my mind doesn't want to.

"I see..."

"So, if you have the chance to put on a smile on the face of the one you love the most before you die, take it."

Do I even get that chance?

"I'll think about it, thoroughtly."

"Sir, you better will. During my career, I've seen a lot of patients passing away without taking this opportunity. And they left behind them unfixed relationships with their relatives." The doctor who was accompanying Hanoru suddenly spoke up.

I've almost forgotten about his presence with how silent he was all along.

"...I got it."

"Good luck with this, kid. I'll be leaving, I don't want to catch a cold by staying too long out there," Hanoru announced, as his doctor began to move his wheekchair.

"Thanks for the advices, I guess. Have a good day."

I watched the old man being moved away by the doctor, slowly going back inside the hospital building.

I should go back too.

Walking towards the entrance of the building, I felt my stomach rumbling slightly.

I entered the hospital, now I needed to find a place to eat.

It's already been several hours since I've last eaten. I guess another meal wouldn't hurt.

"Ohh, hikki!"

A cheerful, feminine voice echoed through the hospital lobby, the sound carrying on the breeze and reaching my ears. A shiver coursing through my spine jolted my body into a slight flinch, a reaction born from the unexpectedness of hearing such a joyous voice in the sterile atmosphere of the hospital.

As soon as I turned towards the source of the voice, I was immediately enveloped in a strong embrace.

A girl with soft, light orange tresses wrapped her arms around my frame and buried her head in my chest, pulling me in a tight, affectionate hug.

"We're so happy to see you awake!"

This girl was soft, really soft.

"I.. hum..."

I looked down at her, unsure how to react to her actions.

"It's nice to see you, Yuigahama." I finally managed to say.

I glanced up at another woman who stood near us, her mother also came, it seems.

She simply smiled warmly and waved her hand at me.

"As soon as your mother told my mom about your awakening we hurriedly ran towards the hospital!" Her arms squeezed me even tighter, embracing me against her in a warm, secure embrace.

After several seconds, she finally let go of me.

Her mother also approached us.

"We've been so concerned. It's really good to see you awake. How do you feel?" Mrs. Yuigahama expressed, her relief apparent as she reached out and gently touched my face, scrutinizing my features.

I gently shook my head to break free from her touch and spoke. "I'm alright, really. I'm alright."

"It's already over 2pm, did you eat anything?"

"Only this morning. But I didn't have lunch yet."

"Let's go eat in the cafeteria!" Yuigahama suggested.

"Good idea, come on, Hikigaya. I'll pay for you."

Well, I won't say no for free foods.

From there, we made the relatively short journey along the hallway to the hospital's cafeteria, where fresh food was being served daily. We stood in line at the counter, gathering our meals for ourselves and then finding empty seats in the cafeteria to begin enjoying our meal.

The aroma of the food we had chosen wafted above the trays of plastic-like food, filling my nostrils and filling me with an insatiable hunger. They had all kinds of foods, from soup to sushi and a variety of other Japanese foods, including tempura, takoyaki, yuba udon, onigiri, and various other varieties.

And Yuigahama's mother allowed me to choose whatever I wanted and not worry about the prices

Don't worry, I didn't try to purposefully chose the most expensive foods.

I took my seat next to Yuigahama as her mother sat in front of us.

"Itadakimasu!" We said in unison as we took our first bites into the food.

While we were eating, I couldn't help but think about asking a question to Yuigahama. What's stopping me? I don't know, is it the right moment? Would it perturb the ambiance?

I'm currently not against making this peaceful time with them linger a little longer, even if that means waiting longer before asking what's hanging in my mind.

"Do you have something on mind?" But Yuigahama's mother noticed it almost too quickly.

"Don't mind me, I don't really want to bother you with that for now. Let's just enjoy our lunchtime."

"Don't tire your mind too much. All you have to do right now is rest and enjoy your meal, Hikki." Yuigahama smiled faintly at me, as she took another bite of her food.

This forced smile of hers doesn't help me get this uncomfortable feeling away. I know why they're acting like this. They just mean to be nice with me as much as possible.

But I don't want them to force themselves to do that because I'm supposed to be her 'friend', a dying friend.

I can feel that Yuigahama would like to say more than she lets appear on her expression.

Though, that's what I am doing as well. I try not to speak my mind by fear of damaging the current atmosphere. Can I really blame them?

Surely not.

But.

She's my only way to give me what I'm looking for.

"How Yukinoshita's doing..?" I finally asked, my hand stopping in its movement as I intentely looked Yuigahama in the eyes.

That was the question she knew I would ask, but would have prefered not to talk about it.

"I think... Saying she's doing well would be a lie."

I sure guess so.

"If you called her right now, would she accept to talk to me?"

Yuigahama's eyes widened slightly at my question before turning to the side.

"I am not sure..."

"I see."

I maintained a quiet demeanor eating, fixating my gaze down at my plate while allowing the tumultuous waves of thoughts to swirl around my head ceaselessly.

Until someone snaps me out of it.

"Yukino may need some times to recover, I believe. She just came out from an intense emotional crisis, do you understand? So, don't rush things." Yuigahama's mother talked in a relaxed tone, her expression not flinching a bit.

An emotional crisis? That's how she calls it?

I get what she means when she says that Yukinoshita needs time. But the fact is, time is not what I possess the most actually.

"I understand it, but... I just... I need to reach her as soon as possible."

"Hey, relax. Trust that we are here to offer support. Now, focus on eating. We'll tackle those worries later on, okay?"

That's not a common way to say it, but maybe I should listen to her advices.

I tried to keep my mind away from all my worries and concern, by forcing myself to talk about unrelated stuff with what's occupying the most place in my head.

In the end, it worked. I could have a little bit of fun with the Yuigahamas during lunchtime.

After the lunch, we left the cafeteria and Yuigahama's mother left us alone by pretending to want to go see how's Isshiki doing since she's also here.

"Hey, Hikki.. You've been blaming yourself, haven't you?"

Likely, yes.

I only answered with a small nod.

"You know, you don't have to put so much pressure on yourself. I know you don't and never meant to hurt her."

"I knew that my actions would have a negative impact on our relationship."

"You just didn't know what the right thing to do was. It's understandable, people can act very differently from another in your situation. It must have been hard for you so please, don't reject our support, okay?"

"...Okay."

"...I know you're thinking a lot about Yukinon. So, try to lighten your mind, and ease your worries. Yukinon is strong, but it'll take some time for her to be ready to face you, that's it."

Yukinoshita is strong.

It's the kind of sentence that could be as true as it is false. Why is a part of the sentence false? Because being strong doesn't mean being sensitive.

And Yukinoshita is a sensitive girl.

I know it because I used to play with her until I accidentally squeezed her too hard, or pushed just a bit too hard, and caused a deep wound inside her heart.

That's the part of her I want to fix.

The day seemed to pass by in a flash, and as I peered through the windows of the hospital, observing the darkened courtyard beyond the glass as the sky beyond darkened to a deep purple.

It should be the time when I am allowed to leave the hospital.

Yuigahama and her mother left 2 hours ago. So, I'm totally alone.

Guess, I should call my mother before it gets too late.

I stepped outside, feeling a strange, almost euphoric sense of satisfaction as I surveyed the somber streets. The low-intensity sounds of cars passing by and the low chatter of the people going in and out of the hospital building mixed with the rustling of leaves and the gentle breeze playing with my hair.

I shouldn't feel so satisfied, especially when I know I'll be back here soon.

I grabbed my phone and began to search through my contact list.

"Ara, Hikigaya-kun seems to be doing better than I'd have expected."

A familiar voice echoed through the air and easily reached my ears, sending a shiver down my spine. I knew very well the owner of this voice. Among all people, I had to see her tonight.

I thought once I was out of the hospital I'd be sitting in a car or lying on a bed sleeping.

But this woman had to disturb it all.

I know the confrontation is unavoidable. The only way to escape from her grasp would be to be able to disappear literally. Here, I cannot.

I turned towards her, my expression a mixture of unease and suspicion.

"Aw, don't show me that face. You can no more pretend to be happy to see me?"

I was never able to pretend such a thing, Haruno Yukinoshita.

"Yo, I don't have a lot of time so-"

She swiftly closed the distance between us and placed a gentle finger upon my lips, silently shushing me into silence.

"You will have time because I'll have decided so, Hikigaya-kun. So, let's discuss calmly, shall we?"

"..."

I found myself trapped before her, her sharp gaze making me feel like a caged creature, her intense stare saying more than any words could about her current mood.

She didn't come here to joke.

Prepare yourself mentally, Hachiman.

I can't predict how the rest of the night will go with her.

"Now, come here and follow me. I simply want to discuss some things with you."

With that, she grabbed my sleeve, and pulled me forward towards an unknown destination. I could surely not trust her in that moment.

But I didn't have any other choice than to follow her into whatever awaited me.