A/N
I don't own Harry Potter or The Walking Dead
The Dark Duo's home
"I'm gonna be in the fucking can" Otis thundered throwing his meal at Dale, ruining Dale's dress. Dale wasn't going to take this anymore.
"I WANT A COMMITMENT. A engagement ring by spring, my pick!" Dale screeched hauntingly.
"Pick this you dried out bitch" Otis roared, giving Dale the middle finger.
Dale slammed the door, and went to work on the sausage press that Otis had stolen on one of his weekly raids. While Dale made the delicious spicy sausage, which was an old recipe he had stolen from his deceased wife's parents, Dale had a lot of time to think about his life.
Dale had felt bad about the way things were going, and decided he would surprise Otis. Dale knew he was lucky to have Otis, and knew he was being harsh on the provider of the dark duo.
Dale searched the manchin and found a medicine cabinet full of makeup. After putting on eye liner, lipstick, and blush, it was time to impress Otis.
Dale heard the engine fire on in the garage ,and made his way over there. When he opened the door, he saw Otis standing behind the car, covered in tanning oil.
"Otis, what are you doing to that car!" Dale screeched before fainting. Otis rolled his eyes at Dale's theatrics and pulled himself out of the muffler.
Meanwhile at the Burrow.
"The way I see it boys, it's gonna be champagne and caviar for the rest of our lives" Molly screamed to the jubilation of the Weasley clan.
The marriage between Ginny and Harry was official, and Harry had now been missing for over a month, which meant he was legally dead, and Ginny would claim the fortune for the Weasley's.
Dumbledore had the paperwork, and unfortunately, he was missing as well, no matter, Molly had forged her own.
The next day Gringotts
Molly and clan Weasley burst through the doors of Gringotts, their oversize feet scraping the ornate marble floor. The Weasley's were kitty with excitement, this was their time to show the world what they were made of.
Molly looked back at Arthur and her kids and snorted, "I'll do the smooth talking, just wait here". Molly saw Griphook, who was Dumbledore's personal spy in Gringotts.
"Goblin, we are here to claim the Potter vault" Molly sneered at the disgusting creature in front of her.
"I'm sorry but Mr. Potter has to be here to verify the marriage, and have you keyed into the account" Griphook sneered.
"Potter is gone, but I have the marriage certificate" Molly thundered.
"You expect us to believe this is real, its written in crayon" Griphook sneered.
"Damn you Griphook, Dumbledore said we could trust you" Molly sneered.
"Maybe if that bastard would call me back, he doesn't just get to make me care and then leave, he's probably out with another goblin" Griphook cried.
With a huff the Weasley's left, before heading back to the Burrow, to plan their next move.
That night Molly snuck into Grimmauld Place and found one of the old tomes of the Black family. "I think I've got you now Potter" Molly cackled.
After completing the dark ritual, which included sacrificing Kreacher and Dean Thomas, in a most gruesome manner, Molly had developed a portkey to track a person. Once she got Harry, she would return to Gringotts and raise hell with those damn goblins.
Saying goodbye to the rest of her family, Ginny, Ron, and Molly activated the portkey.
Woodbury was on lockdown from the terrorists. They hadn't had two people this dangerous since the dark duo.
This time a trio of red heads led my a bulldog of a woman had suddenly teleported in and tried to kidnap their newest recruit, Harry.
Hagrid and the others had managed to scare them off, but when dealing with these odd characters, they would no doubt be back.
Rick, Shane, Carol, Lori, and Andrea had arrived in Woodbury and were accepted as members, as they too had multiple run ins with the dark duo.
Rick was shocked when the Governor, knew exactly who the survivors were talking about.
"Yeah, they tore through here a few weeks ago, killing several of my men and causing untold destruction", the Governor said with a growl, gesturing towards rebuilding efforts.
The remaining members of the Atlanta survivors and Woodsbury, went to work to build more solid walls and defences. They had to keep out the dark duo, the Weasley's (as Harry called them), and Dumbledore.
Woodbury confrence room. Defense brief.
"Dumbledore always was weird, I mean after second year he randomly looked way different, and even replaced all the pictures of what he used to look like with his new image, so people would not be able to tell." Harry said filling the survivors in about Dumbledore's threat.
"He did some dark things for sure, and he could have gotten me a new wand, but choose to exploit me for cheap labor" Hagrid growled.
Hagrid looked up and Harry got his wand out. "You hear that noise" he asked frantically.
They heard an engine roar, and marched to the walls surrounding Woodbury.
"Incoming" the watchmen said jumping off, just as a powerful hot rod collided with the wall, shattering it.
Everyone gasped
It was Otis driving, with Dale standing with a chainsaw next to Dumbledore who had a sword.
Milton, who knew the dark duo was reliant on their car, had developed a harpoon to disable vehicles. Taking a shot, it landed true and Otis roared has his engine sputtered out, Dale and Dumbledore jumped out. Dale yelped as he lost his chainsaw in the mayhem.
Milton had disabled the car and had Otis tied up. The rest of the group was fighting Dumbledore, Harry and Hagrid were leading the charge.
"Help, Dale I need ya" Otis roared trying to escape.
"He cant hear you" Milton sneered before he was hit in the head by a weed eater.
"You ok, baby" Dale cooed, as he fired up the weed eater to cut Otis free.
Otis sat on Milton, causing the scientist to groan as several bones were snapped.
"Come on Dale, fire that weed eater up, show this guy we won't be bullied" Otis roared.
Dale cranked up the weed eater up, while Otis cheered. Dale weed wacked Milton's back causing screaming, finally it was over, Milton was probably dead.
Otis left and Dale looked at the carnage of his new signature weapon, he then skinned the face of Milton and wore it as a war mask.
Just as he was about to join the action he was knocked out.
While the battle was going on Dale's unconscious mind was in a flashback.
Flashback.
Dale was riding in the back of the ambulance, on the way to the hospital, with his wife Dorthy, who was dying of cancer.
The ambulance was an odd one, it was tricked out with a water bed and large vibrating speakers. The ambulance was also lit with strobe lights.
Dale complained that his wife, who was dying of cancer probably shouldn't be near vibrating speakers blasting death metal music, causing her bed to shake.
"We can argue about this until Sunday, or you can sit down, shut the fuck up, and enjoy the fucking ride, before I come over there and slit your fucking throat, ok" said the EMT, named Otis, in a calm level headed voice.
Dale who was always into the bad boy, was instantly hooked and forgot about his soon to be departed wife.
A few hours later
The nurse was looking for Dale, to inform him that his wife was gone. She noticed he was not in the waiting room anymore. She heard a noise in an abandoned hospital room, and figured Dale was probably grieving privately.
The nurse dropped her notes, when she saw the two men together in bed, while the electronic bed kept folding and unfolding itself causing the dark duo to giggle.
Flashback ends.