A/N
I don't own Harry Potter or The Walking Dead
August 31st
Filch was running down the dark halls of Hogwarts, with sweat pouring down his face. It was midnight, the day before the students were due to return to Hogwarts, but the night was marked with tragedy.
Filch had returned to his office, to find it ransacked and littered with empty bags of corn chips. That's when a fat figure emerged from his closet and began attacking him with a muggle golf club.
As Filch rounded a corner to the trophy room to catch his breath, he took out his lighter to smoke a cigarette. As soon as the flame lit Filch found a double barrel shotgun pressed against his crotch.
Otis chuckled as Filch's eyes watered at the pressure on his crotch.
"Any last words sugar cube" Otis simpered.
Before Filch could say anything, Otis pulled the trigger, showering everyone in crotch gore.
Sighing, Otis skinned Filch's face and cried.
"Dale I miss you" he wept.
Meanwhile in Virginia.
Saviors compound
The saviors were on high alert as the man with the skin mask and weedeater had breached the walls and killed hundreds of saviors.
Dwight had decided to ignore Negan's advise to flee, and instead brought his sniper rifle out of its velvet case.
"You know I trust you Negan, but a weedeater doesn't make him bulletproof" Dwight said mockingly.
Negan sighed and proceeded to watch Dale deflect the bullets with his weekender. Dale then teleported in front of Dwight and kicked him over as he reved up his weedeater. Dwight let out a scream as Dale brought the weedeater down, killing Dwight.
Negan watched as Dale skinned Dwight's face, making it into a mask.
Dale suddenly jumped up when he noticed Negan watching him.
Dale threw his old mask at Negan and lounged at him before suddenly disappearing.
Negan and his crew were confused.
Meanwhile Hogwarts
Otis had done it! He had blackmailed Flitwick into summoning Dale with a highly illegal charm. Dumbledore would not be pleased if he knew, but Otis had plowed him enough times, and was now ready for his life partner to be back.
As Dale arrived with a thump, he immediately killed Flitwick, before dropping the running weedeater and running into Otis's arms.
The two had a lovely candlelight dinner as they ate Flitwick. They would tell Dumbledore in the morning. They would either be together with Dumbledore or not at all. For now the two would pass time making love to Peeves.
The next morning September 1st
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were excited to start their sixth year. They spent the train ride catching up on their summer's and wondering who the new defense teacher would be, all while enjoying Mrs. Weasley's famous chocolate shit cookies.
Harry's brilliant green eyes teared up when he remembered his warm interaction with Mrs. Weasley at the train station.
"I cant believe how fast you dears are growing up, please stay out of trouble this year and study hard" Molly cried as Harry hugged his surrogate mother.
The golden trio as well as Ginny managed to avoid Malfoy and the other Slytherins. On the carriage ride up to the school, Ginny and Hermione talked about classes, while Ron and Harry discussed quidditch, as the two best friends had been named co captains of the quidditch team. Life was good, Ron and Hermione had gotten together over the summer, as had Ginny and Harry.
One hour later
"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts" Dumbledore greeted warmly, as the golden trio laughed with warm delight.
"We have a few new professors, so let's give a Hogwarts welcome to them" Dumbledore beamed as the golden trio clapped enthusiastically.
"The new muggle studies professor is Professor Otis." Dumbledore announced to scattered applause. Professor Otis merely grunted as he put a wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth.
"The new caretaker is Mr. Dale, after Mr. Filch passed away" this earned an ear splitting roar of approval for the masked man, who was holding a muggle appliance of some kind.
"The new charms professor is Professor Elma" said Dumbledore finally as the clapping died down and the feast began.