Chapter 34

"Looks weak," Kamakiri commented, looking at the "new" grimm, the Apathy, completely unimpressed. "I thought you said it'd be dangerous or some shit."

"It's… more complicated than that, but yeah, this isn't the kind of grimm you'd be interested in," Kazuki acknowledged. Kamakiri was a battle maniac, after all. He wouldn't care for a grimm that was supposed to make fights avoidable. "I have plans for stuff that you'll like though. Maybe I'll even have some ready for the Festival. I'm not gonna show them to you though. Gotta have some surprises."

"Smart," the 1-B student replied with a smirk. "You'll need all you can get so you don't get crushed too much by our class."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen. Don't worry," he shot with a smirk of his own. "Do try to have some representatives in the last stage, yeah? It'd be kind of sad if it was all just 1-A."

"In your dreams," Kamakiri said with a laugh. "Now, make some grimm, will you? Before you talk too much nonsense and we lose the whole day."

"Sure thing. Run away, coward," Kazuki replied, grinning widely. That is, before someone cleared their throat behind him. Turning, he saw Yanagi standing there. "Nevermore?" he asked, getting a silent nod from the girl as he created the grimm she wanted together with a beowolf for Kamakiri. He'd send one or two more towards the boy though, because he just never had enough grimm to cut through.

"Thank you for the opportunity to get better," Yanagi told him, to which he blinked.

"Don't mention it," he commented, a little surprised. Sure, she'd said thanks every time they trained and all, but that sounded a little more serious to him. Maybe he was reading too much into it?

"You are putting a lot of effort into helping people you'll be competing against," she pointed out, tilting her head to look at him. "People that aren't even in your class."

"I get extra training like this too. Everyone wins," Kazuki replied with a shrug.

"And that's the only reason?" she asked, although she didn't seem to be accusing him of anything. At most, she seemed to be curious, from what he could pick up, which wasn't much.

"I also want to make a good reputation for myself, I guess. Helping others when they really need all the training they can get sounds like a good idea to me," he answered, a somewhat bitter smile on his face. "Sorry if that makes me sound less heroic."

"I don't think it matters why you do it. So long as what you do is truly heroic, the reasons behind it shouldn't be important," the girl told him, to which he just hummed. That was one way of looking at things, he supposed. Maybe it was his self-deprecating side shining through, but he didn't quite agree with her though. "If it helps, I also don't think it matters, what you did in the past," she added, making him freeze, almost letting his control over his grimm slip. "It's what you do now that counts, and I think you are doing good."

"... Thanks," he replied, softly and with a low voice, but still loud enough for her to hear. To that, Yanagi just nodded and then walked off to train with the nevermore he'd made for her. Kazuki still followed her as she walked though, going over that short exchange.

As he considered that, he looked at his three grimm before slowly making another. It was getting easier. Having four creatures under his control was about as comfortable as having three had been when he arrived at U.A. Not quite the same, of course, but not that far. He was confident that he could pull it off unless he was out of it for some reason.

The biggest change though, he mused, was that he could make five or even six and still retain a measure of control. Before, him having six grimm had been a sign that things were about to get out of control. That was his limit, the line that he'd drawn on the sand. Now, that line had been pushed further and six was merely a reason of concern and not all but a certainty.

Kazuki hadn't tried to push for seven yet, but he likely could, he reckoned.

All in all, he was happy with his progress. He had a bunch of new grimm for different situations. He had improved his control and generation some. He was moving up in the world, sort of, and that felt amazing.

Perhaps most of all though, he was happy with the fact that he just… felt better. He was better, for sure, but it extended to more than just that. Before, he'd felt awful all the time, even when things were good and he had things under control. Guilt and shame and the emotions of others had weighed on him. He'd been a bundle of negativity befitting his Quirk.

Now though, things were going much better for him.

He had friends that were sticking to him, even when they probably shouldn't. He had the support of heroes, teachers. He was dealing with his issues, getting better by the day just by talking about things and trying to improve. He had a home, if a little bare, but his and slowly filling with things that he could call his too.

Furthermore, he was meeting people that knew who he was and didn't care, even when they weren't what one would call friends. Yanagi had been training with them for some time, sure, but Kazuki didn't think they counted as friends. They'd never had a real conversation outside the training facilities and most of the ones they had there were about training, obviously. They were more like gym buddies than friends, he guessed.

So, having her tell him that… it was meaningful, he supposed.

Or maybe he was just getting emotional over random things again.

Either way, he was feeling rather good, so he'd take it as a win.

[}-o-{]

"Knight, I swear to God. Sometimes I feel like I just wanna… make them hurt," Distressed wrote that day out of nowhere. It honestly made Kazuki be the distressed one to read that so suddenly. The person on the other side must not have been at home, because he wasn't feeling anything from the apartment.

"I mean… Same, but I think you are more serious than I am… most of the time," he replied hesitantly. What was the best approach for this? Because he wasn't ready, at all. Not for the first time, he wished he had a teacher or something looking over his shoulder to tell him what to say. Inui would surely know what to do here. "Just… talk to me, Distressed. Let's just talk and try and forget about that, yeah?"

"I know, I should calm down, but… Ugh, people fucking suck," was the response he got. He'd have tried to send something, but he saw that Distressed was typing so he let him be for a bit. If he took too long, then he'd try sending something, just in case. "You say you understand, and I believe you, but… How do you do it, man?"

"Focusing on the good things. Focusing on friends, on hobbies, on anything that can take my mind away. It's always with me, but I try to never be alone with it, if it makes sense," he explained, trying his best to put into words how he dealt with his own demons. Maybe it wasn't the best way, but it worked, and that was what mattered to him. "If it's just you and the intrusive thoughts, then they are all the stronger. If you have other shit to think about, they become less important."

"I guess that makes sense… I think," was the reply he got, and he honestly was more than relieved to see it. Sure, it wasn't all that positive, but it also wasn't negative, so he'd take it. "I just… it's so difficult."

"I was told that doing bad things is the easy way. That being good is hard, which is why there's more bad people than good people," Kazuki paraphrased, hoping that he wasn't somehow messing up what he'd been told. "The point is focusing on those times when you are good and you feel good," he added hesitantly. "It's all about motivating yourself to be a better person, or so I understood it. To not take the easy way, but the right way, even if it's harder."

"Going all philosophical on me, huh? I guess I asked for that," Distressed commented and Kazuki didn't know if that was a good thing or not. "I'm not gonna do anything crazy, just so you don't worry."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Everyone still sucks."

"Not everyone, but I can agree that most people suck."

"PoTAHto, PoTAYto."

Kazuki sighed. Well, progress was progress, he supposed.

"Whatever floats your boat, Distressed."

[}-o-{]

Late in the day, once more, Kazuki was in the training facilities, waiting for them to be a little more empty.

As the days passed, it was getting harder and harder to get some more space for himself. Fortunately, the new training he wanted to attempt didn't really require him to be alone. Not as much as he had with the Apathy, at least. He didn't have to test effects that could affect people in the surrounding area, at least, so there was no need wait all that long.

Still, he was testing new things with his Quirk, and that was dangerous enough, in his opinion. So, he wanted to have as few people around as possible. One never knew what could happen when he was experimenting with constructs of negativity and his mental stability was a bad step away from causing a disaster.

'Inui would probably tell me I'm too pessimistic… and dramatic,' Kazuki thought to himself with a slight smile.

"I think that's few enough people?"Yaoyorozu asked, being the only one that had stayed behind long after their usual training time. Usually, he was mostly alone by the time it got late, if he decided to practice for too long. After all, he was the only one of his friends that didn't have much else to do if they weren't hanging out together. On top of that, he could work on his Quirk basically forever so long as he had negativity around to fuel his constructs… Well, at least until he had to eat or sleep, that is.

"Seems like it," he agreed. Apparently, Yaoyorozu had been curious enough about the idea he wanted to test that she'd decided to stick around to see it. Considering that they often spend time just brainstorming what to do with their Quirks, he wasn't too surprised. "Better to get to it, I guess."

So, with that decided and under the intense gaze of his friend, Kazuki reached inside his negativity pools. There, he searched for the right node of emotion and pulled another string. This one was more volatile than the ones he'd pulled for the apathy. It was more uncontrollable, even if those were already a pain to pull. It was more of a risk, but there was a teacher around, as always, and Yaoyorozu was there with her drug thingy ready to knock him out if he so much as showed half a sign of danger.

So, Kazuki started forming a new grimm.

With a strand of emotion he hadn't tried before but a grimm that he definitely had made. A new kind of experiment, that was for sure. 'Destroy it all,' he thought, glaring intently at the space before him as his shadow extended and his entire being was filled with the deepest hatred he could pull from the negativity he'd ever come across. He didn't stop there though, no. He pulled from his own hatred too, from the hate he'd ever felt for his parents, for doing to him what they had. From the hate that he'd ever felt for society, for doing what they had to him. From the hate he'd ever felt for himself, for doing what he had to himself.

Letting his emotions out in a more literal sense, Inui called it, and Kazuki had to admit that it was nice to let it out, to let himself feel it. He wasn't sure if it was healthy, or helpful, but it definitely felt nice. Now, if he could do something productive with that.

There it was, the beowolf in all its glory. It was bigger though, with more spikes, wilder black fur, pointier ears, a more angular face and mask, more red on it, larger fangs and claws. It was altogether more menacing and this was matched by how much wilder it felt to him. It wanted out, it wanted to be free, it wanted to rip and tear. Its body burned with its hatred, almost literally, if the black smoke that seemed to rise from its body was any indication and its eyes shone bright like a fire.

"It looks…" Yaoyorozu commented from the side, and the beowolf turned sharply towards her, eyeing her. Kazuki was very much aware that it wanted to sink its fangs on her, but he didn't let it. He held onto its metaphorical leash as strongly as he could possibly do so. "... effective."

That was one way of putting it, Kazuki supposed.

"Alpha Beowolf," he said simply, his mind barely being able to process thoughts, let alone express them. But he knew the name of this creature, and he had to give it to it. It was a ritual by then, to name his new creations as soon as they were finished.

He looked into the shining eyes of the beast and it looked back.

Kazuki let it vanish into a dark mist a second later. He wasn't sure if it had helped him like Inui said it would. He didn't feel less angry. He didn't feel less hate. He didn't feel better.

But maybe, just maybe, he felt a little freer.

"Well, that's one scary creature," a new voice commented, making both Kazuki and Yaoyorozu turn to regard the new arrival. "I do hope you aren't gonna sic that thing on me, Endo."

"Togeike," he greeted and he felt a twitch in Yaoyorozu's emotions. Frowning, he turned to regard the girl, but she looked fine. There was still something there, but he wasn't sure what it was. Some kind of anger or something. Did she know Togeike? Maybe she reminded her of someone? "Here for more training?"

"If you would?" the girl asked, glancing towards Yaoyorozu. "I don't want to interrupt."

"It's fine, I was done with my training anyway," the other girl said calmly. Maybe Kazuki was reading too much into things again? The emotions weren't even that bad, he supposed. "And we are done here, unless you wanted to experiment more, Endo?"

"No, it's fine…" he said, because he didn't feel like trying more. The Alpha Beowolf had left him… emotionally drained, as it were. "I think I could do with some simpler work for a bit. Beowolves again, Togeike?"

"I was thinking of something more… durable? If you are up to it, that is," the Gen Ed student commented and he just nodded and started creating Boarbatusks. "Thank you."

"This counts as training for myself, so it's fine," Kazuki commented, waving off her words. "Don't worry about it. See you tomorrow, Beauty."

"See you tomorrow, Creepy," the rich girl replied, her bad emotions gone. 'Well, at least she's feeling better? Wonder what that was about,' he thought to himself as Yaoyorozu smiled at him and waved before leaving.

"You sure I wasn't interrupting?" Togeike asked, glancing between the two 1-A students.

"No?"

"If you are sure."

[}-o-{]

"U.A. Sport Festival," Io commented, half in awe and half in disbelief. "I still can't believe you are going to fucking U.A., man. No offense."

"I'm not offended at all," Kazuki replied with a chuckle as he brought his drink to his lips and shook his head. "I still can't believe it myself half the time."

"To think that we were getting our asses beat up in juvie just, what, a year ago?"

"I think you got out before that. Two years?" Kazuki replied and his friend made a sound as if he'd just realized that.

"Time flies, man."

"Don't talk as if we are old, Io," he told the other boy, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, yeah, I'm preparing for the Festival and it's… It's fucking terrifying."

"Yeah, I can imagine," was the response he got. "And I was nervous about the regular sports festival at my school. Fuck that, I guess," Io commented shaking his head. "Better you than me, you know?"

"Gee, thanks."

"You'll be fine though," Io commented, with so much certainty that Kazuki paused. "Don't look at me like that. You were no pushover in juvie and that was without even being able to use your Quirk properly. I think you'd have been left alone back then if you were."

"A nice thought," Kazuki commented, but he wasn't sure how much he meant that. If that had been the case, everyone would have probably been too scared and that would have been completely awful. "I think," he added in the end, wryly.

There was a moment of silence then, and Kazuki found himself tilting his head at Io while the other boy took a sip from his drink. His friend – he still had some doubts calling him that, but he tried to soldier through those – had a thoughtful expression on his face. Fortunately, there didn't seem to be much negativity there but it left Kazuki feeling very curious.

"A lot of people see the Festival. Practically everyone does," Io commented out of nowhere then, making him blink. "Most viewed thing in the whole fucking country."

"Is that leading to something?" Kazuki asked, a grimace of a smile on his face. "Because I think I told you that the thing makes me nervous."

"I hated getting out almost as much as I hated being in, you know?" Io asked, throwing him even more off. What was his friend even talking about? "Everyone looked at me as if I had just done what got me in. Some of them didn't even know what I'd done, but they knew or were told I was in juvie and suddenly I was a villain, no matter what."

"I was lucky in that regard, I guess. Nobody knew about me anymore, or at least they didn't recognize me," Kazuki commented, a sad smile on his face as he took a sip from his soda. "I could pretend to be normal for a while."

"And they know now?" Io asked, looking at him curiously, a bit of envy leaking through. "I guess people at U.A. are just made different if you haven't complained about it or anything."

"I guess they are," he replied with a wry grin. "Until the Festival. Everyone else will know then. I expect riots on the streets and shit."

"You really think that'll happen?"

"I try to think of the worst case scenario. That way I won't feel that bad… or that's the idea, at least," Kazuki answered with a shrug. Inui wasn't a fan, but he also admitted that the public was fickle and that they were likely not to respond well. Kazuki appreciated the honesty of the man, if nothing else.

"Fair enough," Io mumbled, leaning back against his chair thoughtfully before feeling a little ashamed for some reason. "I shouldn't complain, I guess. You'll have it worse than me."

"Our situation sucks regardless."

"That's kind of what I was getting to," his friend commented. "I looked it up, you know, tried to find out the numbers. You are the first person to be in juvie and then get into fucking U.A., you know?"

"I… didn't know that, no," Kazuki answered, blinking. Was he? The school had been awfully accommodating. Surely there had been others, right? Why would he be the first?

"I guess it could be for a number of reasons. People that get out don't feel too inclined to be heroes, society sucks, there might have been less open teachers in other times… Stuff like that," Io told him, looking and sounding pretty serious. He also sounded like he was doing an exposition, which Kazuki thought was a little funny. "I got a little too curious, I guess. I kept looking and found a few heroes that were in juvie or in actual prison. They never got anywhere."

"Nowhere at all?"

"You know what I mean," Io replied, rolling his eyes at his slightly widened eyes. "Bottom of the lists everywhere, even when they were good at their job. Once you are in, the world gives up on you, no matter what you do afterwards. What's the fucking point of it then? We are punished and serve our time, which is supposed to be so that we can be reinserted into society… but society doesn't care anymore. It's like being in but a little nicer."

"I mean, it's not like everyone that gets out is actually better," Kazuki pointed out wryly. "We both know that people don't change all that much when they go in. Most people were still assholes."

"I know, but don't we deserve at least something? I'm not asking them to forgive and forget, but having at least a chance would be nice," Io said, deflating on his seat. Kazuki could feel what he was feeling. Sadness, frustration, anger, helplessness. "Maybe you can change that though."

"What?" he asked, surprised by the sudden words.

"You'll be in the fucking U.A. Sports Festival. Everyone will see you. The heroes I told you about? The world buried them. People probably barely knew they existed. You? They can't bury you if you are right there on national TV, in the most viewed event in Japan. They'll have to see you."

"I'm not liking where you are going, Io," Kazuki commented, gulping as he started getting the idea.

"You can show everyone that we are more than just the rejects. The trash that they think we are," Io told him, a glint in his eyes. "You can show Japan that being in juvie doesn't mean you are destined to be a villain. You can show people like you and me that it's possible to get somewhere in life without having to fall back into old habits. You can be a symbol, Endo."

"Io, I can barely hold myself up with what's coming. I really don't think I can be that," he commented weakly, because that was a very big weight his friend was pushing on him. It had probably been there before already, but he hadn't thought of all that.

"I just…" Io started before pausing for a moment, visibly calming himself down. It seemed the boy had gotten over excited with his own speech. "Think about it, yeah? When you start thinking that everyone hates your guts for what you did… Think about the mini-yous and the mini-mes that will be watching you. Think of the people that were in juvie and got out. Think of the people that were in prison and got out. All of them will be watching… And I think they'll cheer for you, Endo."

"That's… that's better," Kazuki mumbled, drawing into himself. He'd admit though, that picture was a reassuring one. Because he'd been hyperfocusing on the people that would rise against him, but what of those that would rise for him? "No pressure though, huh?"

"All the pressure, I guess," Io said mercilessly with a chuckle. Kazuki wished he could be as confident as his friend seemed with the grin that he sent his way. "But you are at your best when the situation is at its worst, right?"

[} Chapter End {]

Hey guys! How's it going?

Today sucks.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter though.

Announcement: I started another story by the name of "Kingdom Fables". It's a "story" where I'll post several different projects which I'm working on with other people (just Arclight from my Discord server right now but that might change), just to get them out there and try to get opinions on them, so even if you don't like what's there, chances are that a new project will pop up later and you might like that one better than the others. So, please, give it a try and tell us what you think.

As always, if you can't wait until next week for next chapter, or if you just feel like supporting my writing, there's up to three new chapters in my Pa tre on:

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Random Question: How was your day? I woke up in a terrible mood today and it hasn't gotten better, even though nothing bad happened.

See you.