Chapter 50

Kazuki sat at his desk, feeling kind of awkward.

His hero name choice had gone a lot more smoothly than he'd thought it would, for one. For another, he was still riding the anxiety he'd carried when he went to the front of the class to present his idea. Thus, he was left a little on the back foot, as it were.

"It's bullshit, man," Mineta said as they gathered to discuss the new information. "How do you get twenty seven offers when you were first place in the Sports Festival?"

"Beside the obvious?" Kazuki asked with a wry smile, only managing to piss off his friend more. Funnily enough, the anger pouring out of Mineta was actually rather nice, because he knew his friend was angry for him, on his behalf. It was… nice, indeed.

"There's also the fact that many of the people in my list are… not great choices," Todoroki commented, drawing attention towards him. To his credit, the half and half boy didn't feel too uncomfortable under the bunch of eyes locked on him. "Many come from who my father is, and many of them are low ranker hopefuls and such. Kazuki's situation is probably a lot more intimidating, even for those that would make offers."

"Indeed," Yaoyorozu joined in, making them turn towards her instead. "There's probably plenty of heroes that wouldn't mind teaching you the ropes, Endo, be it in combat, Quirk use or even general hero work. However…"

"However, those are not really my problems," he finished when she trailed off awkwardly. "I need help with… that," he added, waving his hand towards the window and sighing. "Yeah, I think I get it," he mumbled, deflating as he turned to read the sheet of paper that Aizawa had passed to him.

Then he blinked and straightened to read once more.

"Anyone interesting?" Hagakure asked excitedly, taking his sheet. "Don't mind if I do~. I wanna know how jealous I should… be…" she trailed off then as he continued to blink, wide-eyed. He didn't say anything, considering he was still processing some of the names he'd seen there. "You got four Top 10s, Creepy! Woah!"

"Wait, what?" Mineta asked, shocked and reaching for the paper himself. However, he was too slow, getting beat to the punch by Jiro.

"Gang Orca, Ryukyu, Hawks and Endeavor," Jiro read, her eyes growing wider with each of those names. Kazuki didn't miss the weird spike of emotion that came from Todoroki at that last one. However, the part that he found most notable was that he couldn't even place what those feelings had been, just that there'd been a spike. "Talk about Quality over Quantity, huh?"

"Man, can you give me one of those? What I wouldn't give to have an internship with Ryukyu," Mineta said, looking up dreamily and getting deadpans from everyone around. "What?"

"Never change, Tiny. Never change," Kazuki said, taking the list from his friend's hands. "I'll have to go over this, see my options. Top 10s sound great and all, but I have to see who can teach me the most, who fits me the most… And who I can benefit the most with," he explained, pursing his lips. "I doubt I'll take Endeavor's offer. He's great and all, but his reputation is already kind of shaky. He wouldn't be able to help me much with mine, I don't think. If anything, it'd probably make things worse for both of us. No idea why he sent me an offer… Er, no offense, Todoroki."

"None taken," his new friend reassured him, truly not seeming to be offended by any of that. Not that Kazuki was surprised, from what he knew. However, he also knew that sometimes things weren't quite so clear with shitty relatives. "I imagine it has to do with the fact that I used my fire against you. He probably thinks that if both of us go with him, it'll help me get better. So, I wouldn't take his offer. He probably doesn't care for helping you all that much, if at all."

"... Noted," Kazuki mumbled, leaning back. That was one option off his list, he supposed. He just needed to look up the rest of them, since he didn't even know most of… them… "Wasn't Midoriya like, a huge hero fan?" he asked then, looking up and making his friends blink. "And he's high in the class grade rankings, so put two and two together…"

"Hm, that's an interesting piece of information," Todoroki mumbled as they all turned towards the aforementioned green-haired teen. Midoriya seemed to notice the attention, because he turned and jumped a little on his seat when he saw them all staring at him.

"Hey, Midoriya," Kazuki said, not really having to raise his voice as he stood up, soon followed by his friends. "You are a hero super fan, aren't you?" he asked, pulling a chair and sitting in front of the boy, giving a nod to both Uraraka and Iida. He paused for a second at the later. There were a lot of emotions there to unpack but he could worry about that later.

'Looks like a mess for the teachers to deal with,' he thought, making sure to not completely dismiss the stream of negativity that came from the speedster. Iida might not be someone he was particularly close to, or at all, but he was a classmate and he'd never been too bad to Kazuki. A little stiff, as it were, but that was practically nothing as far as he was concerned.

Certainly better than some of the things he'd expected.

"I am, yeah," Midoriya replied, shifting in his seat nervously. Which might as well be his normal mode, really. There was a fair bit of embarrassment that confused Kazuki a little. Was he ashamed of his hobby? That was kind of silly. They were all hero students, which more or less translated to being hero fans, he supposed.

He wasn't too sure, since he'd kind of joined the life of hero-to-bes a lil' late.

"Did you need anything?" the green-haired boy asked hesitantly as he broke Kazuki from his own thoughts.

"I was wondering if you could help me with my list of offers, if it's not too much trouble," he asked, raising the aforementioned piece of paper up in the air. "I know you'll have to comb through yours and all that, but I don't know half of these people. So, I thought I'd try to get the opinion of an expert before just looking them up on the internet."

"I-I'm hardly an e-expert," Midoriya denied. However, it seemed like a good deal of his attention was caught by the list. Then his eyes widened as he took it. Kazuki was very pleased when he heard the other teen start muttering regarding the heroes that had offered him internships, even those that weren't the Top 10s. 'Gotta love when a plan goes smoothly,' he thought with a grin.

"I'm disappointed, in UA and in our heroes."

His expression twitched.

[}-o-{]

"You need something?" Aizawa asked once the class was over and everyone had left… except for Kazuki. Well, he'd had to make his friends leave and he was fairly sure that at least one of them was out the door, but still. He knew they had reason to be worried, especially if Hagakure had shared with them what she'd seen the previous day and such…

If he were honest, Kazuki was glad that someone cared.

Sure, it was a little annoying, but nobody had ever done stuff like that for him for the longest time. So, he wouldn't complain. As it was, he was glad for the company… for the most part. Not at that moment, but so long as they didn't go as far as having Hagakure or Jiro spying on him, then he'd be fine with their fussing.

"A few somethings," Kazuki answered hesitantly, gulping. To that, he only got a raised eyebrow from his teacher. Because of course Aizawa couldn't make things easy even if he wanted to. He could almost picture the man thinking "get on with it, kid", making him sigh. "Iida is… There's something going on there. A lot of anger and frustration, and it's not nice."

"There's nice anger?" Aizawa asked, more curious than anything, which caught Kazuki off guard. Weariness and annoyance bleed from him like they usually did. However, Kazuki was happy to note that there was less than usual, if that, which he liked to think was because his teacher might – dare he say it – liked him. The fact that there was almost no residual pain from the USJ incident was also pretty nice.

"I mean, no, but there's levels to it. Bakugo is always full of anger, but it's just that, anger. It doesn't seem… I don't know how to call it, focused? Malicious? It kind of is, but also not," he struggled then, because emotions were his trade, he'd lived with them, feeling them, for all his life. He'd gotten the hang of how they felt coming from people and what they could mean by then. He was getting even better ever since he joined U.A. and started actually paying attention instead of ignoring them.

However, explaining them was more difficult, as if he were trying to explain a color to a blind person.

"And you think Iida is… malicious?"

"Not him, his anger and… I don't know if I'd call it that, it's… complicated," Kazuki said, groaning in frustration before taking a deep breath in. "But there's something going on there, if only because he was nothing like that before. Back to Bakugo, at least he's constantly angry. I'd probably bring it up if he wasn't. So, with Iida…"

"I get it," Aizawa told him with a nod. "I just want to have all the information I can to make a decision. I'll bring this up with the other teachers so we can keep an eye on him. I already expect there's something to what you are saying, given…" he trailed off then, sighing. "Anyway, he seemed to be doing well enough to me, but maybe I'm not looking close enough. It can be hard, when there's so many problem children."

"Sorry," Kazuki apologized, knowing very well that he was probably one of those problem children.

"You are not high on that list, even if it probably surprises you," Aizawa admitted, making him blink. That was surprising indeed. "You bring problems, but you aren't a problem yourself. You are a good kid, Endo. Your situation is just bad," the man explained himself. Feeling dumb, Kazuki was more struck by the fact that he'd been called a good kid. That wasn't something he'd been told much in life, that was for sure. "Anything else in regards to Iida?"

"No, I don't think so. I'll keep an eye on him myself and tell you?" he asked more than stated, getting an appreciative nod from Aizawa. "Another thing I wanted is, um," he mumbled, feeling a little awkward after that conversation and how serious it was compared to the other things he had to say. Maybe he shouldn't have started with that? "I don't suppose I could get an opinion from you regarding my options?"

"... You are a smart kid," Aizawa told him, sounding amused by the question. "I'm sure you'll make the right call in regards to that without help."

"And if I wanted an answer anyway?" he asked, his nervousness catching up with him once more as he struggled not to fidget with the list in his hands. He didn't even know why he really wanted the advice. Sure, it'd be nice to get a second opinion from someone, but Aizawa was quite literally the worst person for him to approach.

He was always feeling like he had better shit to be doing than whatever it was he did, be it teaching or dealing with Kazuki as one of his handlers. However, he knew that it couldn't all be that for Aizawa. As a person that seemed very fond of his logic, the man wouldn't be doing something he despised. And yet, for advice, there were better teachers around, like Midnight or Present Mic, those were friendly enough. Hound Dog was already on his list for afterwards, but Kazuki wanted Aizawa's opinion.

Because he was there. Kazuki had many handlers but most of them were more hands-off than the weary underground hero. Sometimes he even felt it hard to call them by their actual names instead of just using their hero names. They were friendly, but they weren't friends.

Not that he'd call Aizawa one, but he was someone.

So, he wanted his opinion.

"... I guess I can take a look," the teacher replied, breaking Kazuki out of his thoughts. There was annoyance there, there was weariness and there were other emotions… But he still took it and Kazuki desperately wanted, once more, to be able to sense positive emotions too, because that'd make things so much simpler at times…

But still, he'd take what he could.

[}-o-{]

"God, I'd forgotten you are good with your fists too," Mineta huffed, lying on his back some distance away in the sparring circle to Kazuki's left.

"And with his feet," Hagakure muttered from somewhere in front of him while invisible. It was a little awkward, but she'd assured them that she was getting clothes specially tailored for her needs. If her word was to be believed, she was wearing what amounted to a bikini, which wasn't a whole lot but it was better than her being naked.

Not that Kazuki had tried to check.

He'd steered clear of that, just in case.

"What's it gonna be, Rocky?" Kazuki asked, glancing to the side where Jiro stood. She looked like a strong breeze would throw her to the ground, truly. Idly, he rubbed the back of his hand on his split lip.

"I'll call it a day, if it's all the same to you," the girl told him, making him grin. "Smug asshole."

"You know it."

"Interesting," Todoroki commented from his side as he looked around the sparring circle. "You are very good at non-powered fighting," he added then, turning his attention towards Kazuki.

"I had to be, using my Quirk was always a no-no in juvie and besides, you were a pussy if you used them anyway," he commented, grabbing his jaw and massaging it a little. "Damn it, Tiny, when did you get that strong? You punched Shinso like that?"

"Harder," his friend huffed, pushing himself up a bit with some effort.

"Absolute legend," Kazuki said with a chuckle. "Remind me to do something nice for you."

"I wouldn't say no to some wingman help, man," Mineta commented, making him laugh. Still, Kazuki heard the voice at the back of his mind, instantly.

"The Black Rampage was a disaster, a dark mark in our history and we are supposed to learn from history."

"But I'd settle for the anniversary package I was telling you about."

"Didn't it have a bunch of useless stuff?"

"I mean, yeah, but it had nice looking useless stuff," Mineta corrected, as if that made all the difference in the world. "And it's limited!" he added, clearly affected by the unimpressed look Kazuki was sending his way. "The mouse pad looks neat?"

"... You are weird, man, and I'm saying this as a fan of the game too," Kazuki replied with a wry smile but he still nodded his head. "I'll keep it in mind," he said, moving to take a seat to the side, next to Yaoyorozu, and drink some water.

"It was a good idea to ask Midoriya," the girl told him, making him turn towards the green-haired boy, who they could see training with Uraraka some distance away. "He said he'd make an analysis of the options for those that didn't get offers too," she added. Apparently, her voice wasn't quiet enough though, because he felt a few spikes of emotion around. From their friends, who were still recovering, they seemed to be trying to convince Todoroki to use his ice on them to help cool down their wounds, to some people in other nearby areas of the training facilities.

"I mean, it makes sense that the system would be there, people only send offers to students with similar skillsets or with crazy potential," he commented, trying to reassure some of the people around without actually addressing them. He supposed that'd be worse. "People without straight forward combative Quirks didn't get as much of a chance to shine, I guess. They can still make an impression during internships and such."

At least his friend group seemed to feel better after that, so he decided to take that as a win. The people around, well, he'd tried. Some of them even seemed to appreciate it, but he wasn't too sure.

"You think so?" Hagakure asked hopefully as she pulled herself to a standing position.

"If my situation wasn't what it is, I'd look into the standard list anyway. Who knows, there might be something more suited to me than the offers," he answered, without even having to lie. He'd really do that if he could. Alas, he didn't want to drop his bullshit on someone that hadn't chosen to bear with it. He'd make do with his list.

The fact that he had some good choices in there didn't hurt either, he supposed.

"I guess I hadn't thought of it like that," Yaoyorozu commented with a hum, turning to regard their friends, who were approaching the two. That was when Kazuki hummed back, rolling his shoulders as he regarded Todoroki.

"I think I'm ready for some Quirk training, what do you say, Fiery?" Kazuki asked the half and half guy. They hadn't been able to decide for a single nickname for him, so they'd given him a two in one combo, like with his Quirk, Fiery and Frosty.

"Sure," the boy agreed easily and Kazuki had to make sure it was all fine with his Quirk. It was a little awkward to figure out Todoroki at times, what with his… less than expressive ways.

[}-o-{]

"Good to see you here."

"Didn't think I'd come?" Kazuki asked, moving inside the room and taking his usual seat. "I'm hurt," he commented in jest. He could tell, just from the firm bitterness and sadness he picked up, that his attempt at levity fell completely flat. "I promised, didn't I?" he added, more serious.

"You did," Inui told him, looking at him from behind the desk. He always did that, always staring at him as if he were the only thing that mattered in the room. It was a little overwhelming at times, but also… nice, at others. "Thank you anyway."

"Why are you thanking me for coming?" Kazuki asked, not even having to feign honesty. "I'd have gone crazy without our chats. Why'd you expect me not to come?"

"Because, when people are at their lowest, many pull away from things that can help them. They believe they've fallen too far and only they themselves can get them out of that hole. They rationalize this in many ways, but it's what they do in the end, which is…"

"Irrational," Kazuki finished when the teacher seemed to look for the right word. "I know a thing or two about how people deal with low points in their lives," he commented, leaning back on his seat and glancing out of the window to his side. "I'm not going to lie. I considered not coming. Ultimately, I didn't think I had a real choice anyway."

"You always have a choice, Endo."

"So, you wouldn't have sent someone looking for me?" he asked, facing forwards towards Inui once more. "You wouldn't have demanded I come or had one of my handlers look for me and either have the conversation we are about to have at my place or bring me here?"

To his credit, Inui didn't deny the accusation.

"I get it," Kazuki continued with a half sad half bitter smile as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I know how it looks and I won't say I… I won't say I'm fine, but this is nothing. This is nothing compared to how I felt during and after the Rampage. This is nothing compared to how I felt during the Sports Festival. This is bad, but I've faced worse and I like thinking I did a good job."

"You are sure?" Inui said and Kazuki appreciated that there was more concern and curiosity there than actual doubt and condescension.

"I'm sure that I'll try to manage and ask for help if I can't," he replied, taking a deep breath in and then letting it out in a sigh. "That's the most I can promise though."

"And that's what we ask of you, Kazuki. We don't want to control you or pamper you. We want to help you. If you need help, ask, no matter how small or bothersome you might think the matter to be, it's what we are here for," Inui explained to him patiently and Kazuki appreciated, once more, the man's even tone. There was no patronizing tone or anything like that in his voice, ever.

"I thought you were here to be my therapist," Kazuki joked.

"I'm the student counselor, I help and I advise," Inui told him with a grin. "Sometimes that involves some… therapy, as you'd call it, but I'm not a therapist, just to let you know."

"Could have fooled me," Kazuki replied with a chuckle.

"So, are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?"

"You are not that fat, Inui."

"Ha. Ha," the man "laughed" flatly, but otherwise remained silent. Kazuki almost would have preferred that the man forced the topic. Instead, he had to sit there for a long moment that lasted who knew how long before sighing.

"Do we have to?"

"We don't, but I believe it'd help," Inui answered, which might as well have been a yes. It was yet another thing that he wasn't sure if he preferred or not about the sessions.

"I knew my mother hated me. I knew that," he admitted, looking away and out the window once more.

"But?"

"But I still thought, I thought… I still thought that maybe she wouldn't, after all this time, after what happened, after… everything. There was a part of me that thought maybe she'd stop hating me, unlikely as it was. That maybe something would have changed her mind," Kazuki admitted, feeling more and more tired with every word. "There was a part of me that thought I might have a chance to have an actual mother."

"It's not a bad thing that you had hope, Endo," Inui told him and he wanted to scoff at that. It certainly felt like it was a bad thing. It hurt and it left him feeling like an idiot. He should be better. He shouldn't care for the woman. Instead, all he managed was to deflate where he sat. "I know you must disagree with me, but a life without hopes is hollow. It's a miserable existence that I wouldn't wish on anyone. So, hope. It'll hurt when your hopes don't come to pass, but when they do… When they do, it'll be one of the best things that can happen to you."

Kazuki considered that for a moment after Inui was done speaking. He remembered all the little hopes he'd held since he got out. Hopes for friends, for a chance, for a future and many more. Some of those hopes didn't come to pass, some of those were up in the air still, but some of those… Some of those had happened… and he couldn't say Inui was wrong.

"I know," he replied eventually. "It just sucks."

"Yeah, I know," Inui replied, giving him a sad smile.

"Do you mind if we don't talk about that for a bit?"

"You have anything else in mind for this session?" Inui asked, making him smile.

"Well, you said you give advice, right?" he commented as he leaned down to pull out his list from his backpack. "I could use some help deciding which hero to intern with."

"Any ideas? Preferences?" Inui asked, all business instead of his understanding persona. Therapist Dog had been replaced by Counselor Dog, it seemed.

"There's the one or two everyone would say I should go with, my favorite one and the one I think I should go with," Kazuki answered. "I really don't know if I got the right ideas about them."

"Well, let's see, shall we?"

[} Chapter End {]

Hey guys! How's it going?

Life goes on, as usual. A step at a time, the story progresses. There's many pieces I could comment on, but I feel like that'd be doing so for the sake of writing an Author's note and… meh. If you guys want to talk about any of those, there's reviews and the Discord server.

As it is, I'm pretty happy with how this chapter turned out, so I don't feel like criticizing any of the parts. That's a huge win in my books, so I'll take it.

Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.

As always, if you can't wait until next week for next chapter, or if you just feel like supporting my writing, there's up to three new chapters in my Pa tre on:

P a treon . com (slash) AdrianKing

Discord Link: discord .gg/UTDransjJZ

Random Question: So, Kazuki's list is partially revealed. Who do you think he'll pick? One of those four? Someone else that wasn't mentioned?

See you.