Moiraine and Lan start their day slowly, not knowing what awaits them when they go to the infirmary.
When the morning came, Moiraine thought about not getting up. The last day had been exhausting, and she wasn't in the mood to deal with Nynaeve again.
For a moment, she wished she and Lan had never gone to the Two Rivers. Their life seemed so much easier back then. There was no pressure. They could get up early or sleep in if they weren't in the mood to start the day early.
They didn't have to look out for a bunch of children who thought they knew better than them about what was going on in the world.
And there hadn't been an annoying Wisdom, who hated Moiraine for what she was and for having the bond of the man she loved. Would the girl calm down once she had Lan's bond? Or would she continue to hate Moiraine?
Surprisingly, Lan was also still in bed, though clearly awake. Usually, he went through his training when he woke before his Aes Sedai. Why did he change his routine?
"Do you want me to leave?"
The Cairhien woman opened her eyes when the Malkieri spoke softly. How could he believe she wanted to be alone? Growling, she snuggled closer to him. She wasn't freezing like she did last night, but it felt wonderful to be close to Lan.
"Don't you dare move."
A chuckle vibrated in Lan's chest. His arms tightened around her, drawing a relieved sigh out of Moiraine.
"As you wish, Aes Sedai."
"Don't call me that."
She felt Lan's amusement through the bond. The man from the Borderlands was in a very good mood. What made him so happy?
"What are your plans for today?" He must have felt her interest in his feelings and tried to distract her. Well, she would find out later what amused him.
What would Lan say when she told him she didn't want to leave the house? "I want to stay in bed all day." The words were out before she could stop herself. Shocked, she pressed her hand over her mouth. Why did she say that out loud?
"Alright."
Moiraine stared at Lan. Had he really agreed to her suggestion? Surely, she must've misunderstood him.
"But at one point, we have to eat something. So, we have to get up at least once."
"Wait. We?"
"You don't think I would leave you here alone, do you?"
Actually, she had assumed he would go to the infirmary nonetheless to be with Nynaeve. He didn't get the chance to be with her last night, so she assumed he would take the opportunity to be with her today.
"What about Nynaeve? Last night, you didn't have much time together because you returned early. Don't you want to spend time with her?"
Sighing, the uncrowned king of Malkier tightened his grip on the Cairhien woman. "I also want to spend time with you. Or do you want me to leave?"
I'm not leaving you.
It had been a different situation, but Lan's words echoed in Moiraine's ears. He sounded sad, like he feared her answer, though she had just told him not to leave. Blood and ashes! The man was still not over her cruel behavior, though he tried hard to appear like he didn't care.
"I'm sorry," Moiraine whispered. "I was convinced I didn't deserve you any longer, so I used everything I had and could think of to push you away."
The uncrowned king of Malkier stiffened when she suddenly changed the subject. Obviously, he hadn't expected her to talk about the horrible night that ended with them going separate ways.
"How can you believe for even a second you don't deserve me?"
"You bonded yourself to me because you agreed to join me in the fight against the Dark One. But you gave that promise to an Aes Sedai, who could use the One Power to protect you. After the Eye of the World… I couldn't protect you any longer. I became a burden, which you decided not to leave because you thought it was your duty to stay true to your word which you gave me all those years ago."
"Oh, Moiraine." Lan sighed heavily while shaking his head slightly. "Twenty years we are bonded now, and you still don't know me."
Confused, the Cairhien woman lifted her head. "What do you mean?"
But instead of an answer, the Malkieri let go of her and sat up like he wanted to leave the bed. "I'll get us something to eat."
"No! Lan, please." Quickly, Moiraine grabbed Lan's arm before he could leave the bed. "Explain it to me."
He didn't leave but also didn't look at her. His back was turned toward her, and she felt the tension in his body. He thought about running.
Sighing, the Aes Sedai pressed her forehead against her Warder's back. She had ruined everything.
I will make him see who you truly are. And then, you'll be on your own.
Apparently, she didn't need Nynaeve to push Lan away. She was doing just fine by herself. "I guess Nynaeve was right," Moiraine whispered to herself, though Lan heard her. She felt how he turned his head curiously.
"Right about what?"
"Just something she said about you and me."
Lan growled. "Whatever she said, she is wrong."
"You don't know what it is."
"I don't care. She is wrong."
"How do you know?"
"Because you both don't know me at all."
Surprised, Moiraine lifted her head. So, he believed Nynaeve also didn't know him? But he loved the girl, and she loved him.
"You both act like I don't know what I got myself into." The Cairhien woman stayed quiet. How could she think otherwise? They both hadn't known what they had signed up for all those years ago. "And twenty years ago, I would've agreed. I was young and believed your mission gave me a purpose – a purpose to live. So, I bonded myself to you, though I was thinking poorly about Aes Sedai – a fact you were aware of."
Oh, she remembered very well. In the beginning, the man hadn't known about her being an Aes Sedai and hadn't held back from sharing his distaste of Aes Sedai until she had emptied the pond over him.
"Well, apparently, I changed your mind about Aes Sedai, so you agreed-"
"You didn't."
Moiraine hadn't expected that answer. "But if I didn't change your mind, why did you-?"
"I bonded myself to you." Finally, Lan turned so he could look at Moiraine. "To you, Moiraine Damodred. The woman who had been a pain in my ass all the way to Chachin and had grown on me without me knowing. Do you know I was still thinking about you when we parted ways in Chachin?"
The Cairhien woman hadn't known. She had thought she was the only one who had been thinking about him.
Lan continued, "I couldn't get you out of my mind. It was frustrating, and then you appeared at the palace, making it even harder for me to forget you. So, I ran after our fight with the Black Sister and Ryne. I knew what you were up to and ran because I knew I wouldn't turn you down if you asked me."
Moiraine swallowed. Lan had tried to escape the life he had now, and she had pulled him into it nonetheless. "I didn't know you tried to escape from me. I thought I'd give you an opportunity so you wouldn't die in the Blight."
"And you did. When you told me about your mission, I didn't think twice. I knew I couldn't let you fight this alone without worrying about you all the time. So, I agreed to become your Warder. But I swore my oath to you, Moiraine. Not to the Aes Sedai. Because I care about the person, not the power she wields."
Moiraine's throat became tight, and her eyes widened. Lan wasn't interested in her powers? But… that would mean… he didn't imagine… she hadn't been…. "No." Her voice was heavy with unshed tears.
Smiling, Lan grabbed her hand, letting his thumb move softly over the back of her hand. "You were never a burden to me, Moiraine. Ishamael had shielded you, but it never crossed my mind to be free of you."
"But Nynaeve-"
"Why do I have to choose? Why can't I have both of you in my life?"
A sad smile appeared on the Cairhien woman's face. "You know why, Lan."
The Malkieri grimaced. "You two can't stand each other. I doubt there will ever be a situation when I have to choose between saving you or her since you two won't be in the same place for long."
"And you really think it will be better when we're in different places?" Moiraine asked, and Lan lowered his head. "You will curse me and the choice you made when something happens to her, and you're not there to help her." A heavy sigh escaped her lips. "Light, I shouldn't have bonded you again."
"Don't say that!" Anger shone in Lan's eyes. "Feeling you again… I waited months to feel complete. Life isn't the same without you."
"I made it worse for you. Now, you have to choose again. If I hadn't been so selfish-"
"Stop." Growling, the uncrowned king of Malkier brought their foreheads together. Love rolled through the bond when he opened himself and let Moiraine know about his feelings. "I asked you to let me back in. I wanted the bond back. Light, Moiraine! Do you still not understand how much I need you?"
Tears rolled over Moiraine's cheeks, but she didn't wipe them away. "What I did to you-"
"I know why you did it."
"Light, I wish I could undo it. I wish I could turn back time and make a different decision."
"Who knows what would've happened then. Come here." Lan climbed back into bed and pulled the crying woman into his arms. "I guess breakfast can wait a little bit longer."
The Aes Sedai didn't resist and snuggled up to her Warder. Yet, there was one problem. "What about Nynaeve? She will freak out when we don't appear at the infirmary soon."
"I'll deal with her anger."
"Her anger won't focus on you. She will know that it was me who kept you here. Light. For all I know, she could come searching for us if we don't appear."
Softly, Lan stroked Moiraine's hair. "Don't worry about her. You and I are all I care about momentarily."
Humming in agreement, the Cairhien woman held on to the Malkieri. She would deal with Nynaeve's anger later. Now, she wanted to enjoy the feeling of lying in Lan's arms for as long as possible.
As much as Moiraine would've loved to sleep in instead of leaving the house, she and Lan didn't give in to their desire, though they took their time before they were finally on the way to the infirmary.
While they walked through the streets, the Malkieri never let go of the Cairhien woman. Their fingers were intertwined, and their eyes found each other occasionally. Whenever it happened, Lan smiled softly, drawing a smile on Moiraine's face. Lying in each other's arms had helped a lot to find their good mood again, and now, they couldn't stop sending their love for each other through the bond.
When they reached the infirmary, two Whitecloaks left the building. Immediately, the memories of yesterday returned, and Moiraine stopped dead in her tracks.
Told you… little fish…. They kill… us….
Lia's pale face appeared before Moiraine's eyes, and rage rolled through her veins. What had the Whitecloaks done now? Who did they want to kill today?
The Aes Sedai took one step toward the Children of the Light, then her Warder blocked her way. "Don't."
"They kill people!"
"And what happens if we kill those two? Do you think they will stop? They will send two other men, who will also interrogate everyone who helps at the infirmary to find out who killed their brothers."
Angrily, Moiraine turned her eyes back on the Whitecloaks but didn't try to follow them. She knew the Malkieri was right, though she didn't like letting them walk away. Lan pulled her against his body and kissed her hair. "Come on. Let's get inside."
Nodding, the Cairhien woman allowed the man from the Borderlands to lead her inside. Hopefully, she wouldn't run into Whitecloaks today, or she couldn't promise not to attack them.
As always, the infirmary was overrun by people who needed medical attention. Lan created a path to the area where the helpers gathered, pulling Moiraine with him. At least that area was empty since all the other helpers were already working – but not for long.
Shortly after Moiraine and Lan had arrived, Nynaeve found them. "We have a problem."
The Aes Sedai sighed heavily. It wasn't as if she was surprised by Nynaeve's outburst, yet it annoyed her that the young woman from the Two Rivers didn't wait until they were ready to deal with her anger.
"We know we're late, Nynaeve. I decided to stay longer in bed and convinced Lan to do the same. Can we skip the yelling until we're done for today?"
"She didn't convince me, I decided myself to stay in bed," Lan growled while glaring at Moiraine for trying to take the blame.
"I don't care about who the reason for you showing up late was!" The Wisdom hissed, stepping closer to the Aes Sedai and Warder. "If I'm honest, I hoped the two of you wouldn't show up today."
Confused, Moiraine and Lan furrowed their forehead. Nynaeve had hoped they wouldn't come to help? Why should she wish for that? She had obligated every one of the Emond's Fielder and Elayne to help wherever possible. Since Rand and Perrin couldn't help out because of the Whitecloaks, Nynaeve had obligated Lan and Moiraine as helpers. What changed her mind?
"Nynaeve, if that's still about yesterday, I-"
"Just listen!"
The young woman was truly pissed. Moiraine and Lan glanced at each other, then decided to play along. Whatever was bothering Nynaeve, it couldn't be good.
Anxiously, the Wisdom checked if someone was listening, then pulled a scroll out of her left sock and handed it to Lan. "We found this in the morning. Someone spread them everywhere in the city. Almost every wall is covered with them. I'm surprised you didn't see them on your way."
"What is that?" Moiraine asked when Lan enrolled the paper.
Once the uncrowned king of Malkier was done reading, he put the scroll back together, then let his eyes wander over the patients. His lips were pressed to a grim line. Whatever stood on that scroll wasn't good.
"Lan?"
"You two should return to the house and stay there," Nynaeve suggested, her eyes fixed on Lan as if Moiraine wasn't there. "Egwene, Elayne, and I can bring you supplies while you stay hidden from everyone's eyes."
Staying hidden? Moiraine couldn't believe what she was hearing. Why in the light's name should she hide? But it shocked her more when Lan nodded and hummed, agreeing, still thinking heavily.
"What is going on?"
Anger started to bubble in Moiraine's veins when she was still ignored. Did Lan even hear her? It was like his mind was miles away.
"There is no way out of the city – not yet," Nynaeve said as if she knew what Lan was thinking. "Your best chance is to stay hidden at the moment."
The Aes Sedai had enough. She didn't like not to be included in their plans. Angrily, she grabbed the scroll from Lan's hands and opened it.
Official announcement by the White Tower
Moiraine Damodred Sedai and her Warder a'Lan Mandragoran Gaidin have been identified as Darkfriends. Whoever has information about their current whereabouts will be rewarded with a thousand gold coins and another two thousand for those who deliver them to the White Tower alive.
Siuan Sanche
Watcher of the Seals. The Flame of Tar Valon. The Amyrlin Seat.
Moiraine felt like someone had emptied a bucket full of ice water over her head. She was freezing, though the temperature was hot in Falme, and her stomach had turned upside down. Darkfriends. Her fingers moved over the written words. There was no doubt. She knew Siuan's beautiful handwriting. Those words have been written by the Tairen woman herself.
So, you have been found and healed in Cairhien. A tiny part of her was relieved, but it got swallowed by the cold of the words in her hand. Darkfriends. This is the first thing you do? Announcing us as Darkfriends? How could you do that, Siuan? Yes, we left with Lanfear, but how can you honestly believe I've turned to the dark?
"We're leaving."
Lan's calm voice broke through Moiraine's spiraling thoughts, but she barely felt his hand on her arm. Her body was numb from the cold she felt.
The Malkieri pulled the scroll from her cold fingers, then hid it in his pants. "The sooner we're gone, the less people will remember us."
Nynaeve nodded. "I'll inform Egwene and Elayne so they're careful with their words. We can't let anyone-"
"We're not leaving."
Both Lan and Nynaeve looked at Moiraine in shock when the Cairhien woman finally spoke. They looked like they expected an explanation, but Moiraine wasn't in the mood for an argument. Her mind was still processing the content of the scroll. Siuan had declared her as a Darkfriend!
Her feet carried her forward, ready to return to their daily routine. The patients were waiting for them to bring-
"Moiraine!" Lan's fingers encircled her wrist, pulling her back to him. He had lowered his voice, probably afraid of anyone listening in on them. "This is madness. We can't just continue like nothing happened. People will look out for us."
"And what do you imagine will they think when we suddenly disappear on the day this announcement appeared in the city?"
Lan threw his hands up in frustration. "Hopefully, nothing at all."
"The people aren't stupid. We make ourselves suspicious if we do that."
Sighing, the Malkieri pinched the bridge of his nose. "You can't think clearly right now. Please allow me to bring you back to the house. We can talk about our next steps there."
The Cairhien woman chuckled quietly, "I'm well aware of how bad it looks for us."
Lan reached out his hand, but Moiraine blocked him. She couldn't take his comfort right now. Her body and mind were still in shock about what her lover had done to her.
"Moiraine, please," the uncrowned king of Malkier begged. It was useless. Moiraine shook her head. "She offered the people a lot of money for information. Everyone who needs the money will give us up."
"Only a few people know where and who we are. We have already prepared by appearing in this city as husband and wife, Andra. No one will inform the White Tower about us being here."
Growling, Lan let his eyes wander over the patients again. He wasn't comfortable with Moiraine's idea. "I don't like this… Alys. I have a bad feeling about this."
"I can't sit in the house right now." Moiraine shuddered at the thought of being trapped in their little house. Her mind would go wild with theories and speculations. No. She needed the distraction working in the infirmary would give her.
Sadness moved over Lan's face. His hand landed at the back of her head, pulling their heads together. "And I need you to be safe." The Aes Sedai winced when she felt her Warder's worries through the bond. Her eyes were burning from upcoming tears. Blood and ashes! "I can't lose you, Moiraine."
"I'm not leaving," Moiraine croaked, pushing Lan off her. She couldn't deal with him right now. First, she had to think.
"Moiraine." Without looking back, she turned around and left Lan and Nynaeve behind her. The tears threatened to fall, and she didn't want the Wisdom to see them. "Alys!"