Author's Note:

Sorry to once again take longer than expected on this. I hope that maybe the fact that I did update some of my other fics in the meantime helped? Maybe?

Anyway, rejoice! Chapter 3 is here! Have fun reading it!

A big thank you to my beta reader Stark for finding a spare moment to look this over, and also to my other TBBT friends on discord for your support!

Chapter Three

"Is it over yet?"

Amy looked up from her menu just in time to see the three other men from the physics department shushing Dr. Cooper as the maître d led them to her table. She swallowed back a sigh. This was looking to be another long night.

"Hello," she greeted politely, standing up. The men took a moment to reintroduce themselves.

"Good evening, Dr. Fowler," Dr. Koothrappali said, stepping close to her. "I'm pleased President Siebert arranged this dinner for us, we didn't have the chance to get to know each other on Saturday." Amy grimaced, catching a whiff of alcohol coming off of him.

"Yes, well, why don't you all take a seat?" she suggested. Unfortunately, Dr. Koothrappali quickly took the seat beside her and Dr. Hofstadter nudged Dr. Cooper into taking the seat on her other side.

"I'm an astrophysicist," Dr. Koothrappali continued. "Perhaps you're familiar with my work?"

"I don't think so."

"Really? You've never gazed up at the night sky and marveled at the beauty and wonder of our universe?"

"No."

"Well, perhaps your father has. Tell me, is your father a thief?"

Amy rolled her eyes. "Why? Because he stole the stars and put them in my eyes? Is that all I have to look forward to tonight, outdated and unwanted pick up lines? President Siebert assured me I wouldn't be wasting my time here."

"You're not!" Dr. Hofstadter hastily interjected. He shot a disapproving look at Dr. Koothrappali, and Amy was glad to see between that and her own rebuke he looked properly chastised. "Before this goes any further, I think there's something Sheldon would like to say," Dr. Hofstadter prompted. Dr. Cooper gave him a steady glare before turning his attention to her, though he couldn't quite meet her eyes.

"Dr. Fowler, please accept my apologies for my behavior on Saturday," he said to her, his tone flat. "It was wrong of me to assume you were not intelligent and possibly disease-ridden. I read some of your studies from UCLA, and, for biology, they were reasonably thought-provoking."

Amy appraised him silently for a moment, unsure of what to say. It was clear to her that Siebert and probably the other men at the table had forced him to make this apology, but the mention of her previous studies surprised her. Did he look her up the same way she did him? She suddenly felt a little flush.

"It's a better apology than I've ever gotten from him," Howard spoke up after no one said anything. "You should take it."

"You've really read my work?" she asked.

"Yes. I found your research on addiction quite interesting," he said, but then qualified again, "for biology."

"Sheldon," Leonard hissed a warning.

"It's a shame you didn't select physics for your field of study," Sheldon added.

"I felt my talents were better suited to a field with some real-world applications," Amy said finally.

"Hey, if you like real-world applications," Howard cut in. "I'm an engineer, and I'd love to hear more about the work you've done."

"I noticed on Saturday Siebert didn't introduce you as a doctor," Amy said, now turning her attention to him. "I doubt you'd understand my work."

Sheldon let out a breathy laugh to her right while the rest of the table fell silent.

Amy realized it was the wrong thing to say. After all, the reason she was mad at Dr. Cooper was for his uncharitable assumption of her intelligence, and now here she was doing the same thing to his colleague, although at least she had some evidence to back her up. But in her defense, she was annoyed. It was true that Siebert assured her this evening would be worth her while, that speaking with some of the other representatives of the physics department would surely pique her interest, but so far they weren't turning out to be any better than Sheldon.

The waiter arrived at the table just then to take their drink orders, relieving some of the tension.

"So, this is nice," Dr. Hofstadter spoke up once the waiter left and no one else said anything for another minute. "All of us, getting together. I usually don't get to eat this well."

"You're just a festival of humdrum chit chat, aren't you?" Amy responded, once again disappointed. How was that possible that none of them had anything worthwhile to say?

"Oh, he's always like that," Dr. Cooper said.

"Well, um, maybe you would like to hear about our latest research with the new cryogenic centrifugal pump?" Dr. Hofstadter asked her, a pleading, somewhat desperate expression on his face.

"I suppose," she said with a sigh, allowing him to fill the silence. He rambled on about his experimental work, pausing only when the waiter came back to take their food orders. Howard and Dr. Koothrappali started chiming in as well, providing their own commentary on the work. The research itself sounded solid but not groundbreaking, and Amy found herself only half-listening. She couldn't help but notice Dr. Cooper failing to contribute anything to the discussion, and she wondered if it was because his primary reason for attending tonight was fulfilled by his apology, thus leaving him with nothing left to do, or if he was too busy devising some new ridiculous calculation in his head like he had when they first met on Saturday. Or perhaps it was some combination of the two.

"So you already have a new cryogenic centrifugal pump," Amy said when they reached a lull in the conversation. "What would the new funding go towards?"

"I need a new linear accelerator," Sheldon spoke up suddenly.

"Or-or something else!" Leonard quickly cut in.

"No, that's the most important thing," Sheldon argued.

"There's lots of equipment that could be updated," Leonard argued back.

"But a linear accelerator—"

"She's not going to want to fund your project, Sheldon!"

Amy watched the exchange with interest. Dr. Cooper seemed shocked at his friend's outburst, before his face turned into a picture of resentment and he stood up from the table.

"Fine," he said. "Since I can't be a part of this conversation, please excuse me while I freshen up before our food arrives."

Amy's eyes followed him as he walked away.

"Sorry about that," Dr. Hofstadter said, drawing her attention back to her present company. "There's a lot of different studies taking place right now that could benefit from a donation, not just Sheldon's work."

"I see," she said. "That's good to know."

The table lapsed into silence again after that, which suited Amy just fine. She sipped her water and kept watch for their meals to arrive from the kitchen. Dr. Koothrappali, however, seemed unable to stand it.

"Dr. Fowler, are you familiar with the story of Altair and Vega, the two brightest stars in the sky?" he asked.

"You know, I think I'll go freshen up myself," she said instead of answering, and headed off in the same direction as Dr. Cooper without a second look back.

She planned to time it so she would be gone long enough to allow their food to arrive but no so long as to invite invasive inquiries into the state of her digestive system. When she got to the restrooms, though, she was surprised to find Dr. Cooper standing just outside the men's room looking slightly pale.

"Is everything alright?" she asked him, approaching carefully.

"I was just in there," he pointed to the door, "and I think I saw one of the chefs only wash his hands for seven seconds."

"Are you calculating the likelihood of contracting a debilitating disease?"

"It was already somewhat questionable when I walked in, but now it's rising rapidly."

She studied him for a few seconds, weighing her options. She really didn't want to go back to the table for more tedious conversation with Dr. Hofstadter and the others. It seemed he didn't want to either. President Siebert wasn't there to chaperone. Dr. Cooper wasn't her first choice in companions, but he had sort of apologized and sort of complimented her work. At the very least, he was more entertaining than the other dinner guests . . .

"Do you want to get out of here?" she asked. He looked at her in surprise for a moment.

"Do you know the way to the Cheesecake Factory?"

When Penny saw Sheldon walk through the restaurant doors with a woman, she nearly dropped the tray of food she was carrying.

She'd already heard the whole story from the guys about how they wouldn't be in tonight because the university president arranged a dinner with a prospective donor instead. They had also given her the details of Sheldon's faux pas at the fundraising event that led up to this. So what was going on? Thankfully, the two were seated at a table in her section, so she'd get a chance to find out. She quickly delivered the food to her other table and headed over.

"Hey, Sheldon, I wasn't expecting to see you here tonight," Penny greeted him, though she barely looked at him, too busy studying his companion with undisguised curiosity. "Who's your friend?"

"Penny, I know you're a community college dropout, but Leonard explained to you yesterday that we would be dining tonight with Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler at the behest of President Siebert," Sheldon said. "Therefore surely even you can deduce who this must be."

"Yes, but it would still be polite to introduce me," Penny said.

"Isn't introducing yourself to the table part of your job as our waitress?" he asked, confused. Penny gave a heavy sigh, then turned her full attention back to Amy.

"Hi, I'm Penny. I'm Sheldon's friend and neighbor, and I'll also be your waitress this evening."

"Hello," Amy said.

"So are the rest of the guys on their way?" Penny asked, turning back to Sheldon.

"No, it's just us," Sheldon told her. Penny's eyebrows shot up, but neither one of them offered any further explanation. Had they really ditched the others to eat alone together? Penny never would have thought it possible, especially after what she'd heard, but that seemed to be what was happening.

"Oh, okay. Sorry if I'm a little surprised," Penny went on, turning to Amy again. "I've just never seen Sheldon bring a date here."

"This isn't a date," Sheldon quickly told her. "Dr. Fowler is not my girlfriend. This is, um . . ." Sheldon trailed off, clearly struggling to explain exactly what they were doing there. Interesting. So she wasn't the only one confused by this.

"This is strictly business," Dr. Fowler rescued him.

"Right," he agreed.

"Why isn't she taking our order?" Amy asked him.

"I should have warned you, one has to navigate a labyrinth of social nonsense before one can be fed here."

Penny gritted her teeth and tried not to let her annoyance show too much. If this really was the rich heiress the boys told her about, she might be in for a very nice tip if she could just get through the evening. So she apologized again, took their orders, and then rushed off for a quick break to text Leonard.

«Sheldon and that rich donor lady are here right now. Do you know what's going on?»

He texted back almost immediately.

«WHAT?!»

"Your friend at table five is asking for you," one of the other waitresses came up and told her, forcing her to put her phone away even though it was buzzing again with a new message. She nodded to her coworker and headed back out to the dining room to see what Sheldon wanted now.

"What's up?" she asked as she arrived at their table once again.

"Your mention of dating sparked the most interesting discussion between Dr. Fowler and myself," Sheldon said.

"Really?"

"Indeed. I was just explaining to her how you've dated 171 different men, including Leonard—"

"Whoa, what? Where did you get 171 different men?"

He had a whole calculation for it, of course, but Penny neither understood nor cared to listen to it. His dinner companion seemed enthralled though, her eyes didn't leave him for one moment while he rambled on about initial dating ages and bell curves.

"—And Dr. Fowler had some questions for you." Penny snapped back to attention as Sheldon finished up his explanation.

"I was wondering, did you have sexual intercourse with all of these men?" she asked.

"No!" Penny answered, stunned at the direction this conversation was going.

"Although that number would be fairly easy to calculate," Sheldon said.

"You know what? Why don't I go check on your food?" Penny said, and walked away before he could launch into another round of computations regarding her private life. But before she went to the kitchen, she made a quick stop to check her phone again. Leonard left her a series of texts.

«Sheldon left his phone here and we've been looking for him for the past 30 minutes!»
«I'm on my way, don't let them leave.»
«Does Dr. Fowler look mad? Can you run interference if Sheldon insults her again?»

Penny sent one quick response before getting back to work.

«They seem fine. I might have to kill them though.»

Fortunately, though, things seemed to run smoother for her from that point on. Penny was able to bring Sheldon and Amy their food without any more inappropriate questioning, and they left her alone to focus on tending to the other tables in her section. This also left her free to continue watching them during her spare moments. She was still trying to figure out what was going on between them. The conversation had slowed down once their meals arrived, but she could see them stealing quick glances at one another throughout the meal.

It was while she was in the middle of delivering dessert to another table that it happened.

They were nearly finished eating and talking again, although Penny wasn't close enough to catch what they were saying. All she knew was what she saw, which was Amy licking her thumb and then reaching over to remove a spot of barbecue sauce from the corner of Sheldon's mouth. He didn't immediately pull away.

And this time, Penny did drop her tray.