Helping a young writer out, care to take a peek? :)

cutegirlmayra

So… let's see… First I would start with their normal routine, normal life, before anything were to disturb that- for example:

Amy rushed into the crowd, trying to push or scoot her way through before parting two fangirls and seeing Sonic at the top of a skyscraper, taking down a fiendish foe-!… oh wait, that's Eggman's contraption. She pouted, but relieved he wasn't in 'too' much danger…

So there's a start to how she worries, and then has full confidence in sets up her initials feelings. giving us a place to start.

Her head darted up when someone cried out and noticed Sonic was pushed down by the robotic lizard, and scrapping his perfectly handsome face against the screen. She smacked both hands to the sides of her face, devastated by the turn of events. "Soooniccc!" she cried out, rushing to try and get closer to him. Maybe even save him! "Get back please." a police officer threw an arm out and pushed her back with the rest of the crowd; though it didn't hurt her, she was upset by the rough-housing.

"H-hey!" She struggled to break free and finally did, ducking under his arm to break into the building. Police went in after her, "Get back here, little girl!" she huffed, folding her arms after already pushing the button up to the highest floor on the skyscraper. She 'hmph'd at the authority and turned her head snottily away as the doors closed. They lunged in after her, but the doors slammed in their faces. "Nothing's keeping me from my Sonic!" she bluntly huffed, and then put her hands to her hips, nodding sternly her fixed decision. She looked up to the roof of the elevator, stepping more into it's center and seeming worried now, gentler in her appearance as she clutched her hands together and up by her face. "Sonic…"

Now we're building conflict, something out of the norm that disturbs the natural flow. we also have our first obstacle, the policemen, which Amy narrowly skimmed by. We also introduce Amy's sass and determination in getting to Sonic. A character trait we happily show off to give her personality, pizzazz, and have the audience begin to like her. (Charm/lovability.)There should be 3 obstacles in almost every storyline. that's story 101, learned that in script writing xD

When the doors burst open, Amy took a second to worriedly look around, seeing the ceiling dust crumble down in debris she ducked her head and immediately dashed out. The elevator cracked and tilted, before falling straight down as she turned back and gawked a moment. She shook her head before hearing a robotic cry behind her and saw the Lizoid slash a metallic tongue through the long window, reaching in for her. "AHH!" she kicked her legs as it grabbed her and hoisted her up. "Who-ho-ho-ho! What do we have here?" Eggman swerved his eggpod over and laughed his usual dynamic, before Sonic broke from his fighting stance, seeing Amy in danger. "Amy!"

(now we have our first encounter. Obviously, this can be changed to fit any scenario) Again, this is all opinion and I'm no where need perfect, so take with you little odd and in things, and please, don't be overwhelmed. I'm here for you :)

"Grr… Let me go! Let me go! Hey-! You didn't even give me time to bring out my hammer..! I'd have clobbered you by now! Ohhh!" Amy whined and squirmed, as the Lizoid held her out as Eggman rambled on his usual way, "Well, well… seems the court is on my side now, Sonic!" He strutted himself almost as he angled himself to the right, and stroked his mustache on one side… "If you want your precious little girlfriend back.. I'd suggest handing over the Chaos Emerald! You wouldn't want anything to…" The lizoid adjusted it's clawed footing and held his tongue over the side of the skyscraper, making Sonic sweat-drop as he saw what Eggman was implying… "BeFALL her.. now.. would you?"

More complication, meaning obstacle two. Now it's important to have some banter between Sonic and Amy at this point. Because we need some reaction from Sonic, which you normally wouldn't get in reality, but in fanfiction, we try to make the bond a little more apparent then the cartoons or games do, which don't touch on the matter so 'specifically' as we do.

Sonic took some in before shaking his head and letting it out. "You just couldn't keep yourself grounded,.. could you, Amy?"

Sonic's wit is something that is sometimes looked at negatively, it's important to keep him charming/lovable to the audience as well. You need to make it clear that his 'annoyance' is not so much to Amy, but the situation. otherwise, people will believe Sonic's a jerk. To counteract this, you should consider showing Sonic through Amy's eyes. It helps manipulate the audience through her view, other than Sonic's which is often times less sensitive. This comes off badly to audiences who are looking for some 'tender moments' too. This where detail can really grab your readers too and send butterflies through them as well!

Amy stopped her excessive contesting to look towards the main and only reason she even dared scaled this fleet in the first place. "..Sonic!" her legs spread out though her arms were caught in the robot's grip, as a feeling of safety, joy, and excitement grew in her! Like a wave, it crashed over her fears and even the stern look from his eyes as he stated, "I'm gonna get you out of there, Amy!" Made her whole heart swoon and her body tilt to the side. She didn't mind getting captured and used against her will… so long as he was always and forever going to be… her hero~3 He saw her lean and thought her to be fainting, and quickly, to try and calm her, smiled to reassure it would be alright. To further this action of care, he lightly spoke out to her, "Don't worry, Amy. I won't take long. I promise." this tender reply sent another burst of excitement through her, like rapid bubbles that tickled her from within and made her feel lightheaded… although, that could be from the thinner air. Her squealing of joy made Eggman cover his ears, before swiping himself into Sonic's frame of sight, "HELLLOOO? Looming death over here! How do you expect to keep that promise, eh? Lover boy!?" Sonic glared and frowned, ducking himself down, as if… "Oh no." Eggman's mustache drooped as he saw Sonic about to- "He's going to bounce! AHH!" He scurried his hands in front of himself and had his eggpod zip left and right, as worry flung from his face like sweat drops as he tried to avoid the inevitable spin attack!

So, i did a few things here. I not only showed Amy's pov to entertain and grip the audience into a type of 'emotion' but then I brought in Sonic's alternative viewpoint. This is essential in keeping in character, because it's a character trait of these two to misinterpret the other at times.

Sonic curled up and reeled himself up to go! Charging the Lizoid's tongue! But as his quill-like blade began to rotate to slash, Eggman cried out, "MOVE, YOU IMBECILE!" And the Lizoid rose it's head up and moved it's tongue back. When all looked lost, Amy cried out, "Sonic!" Worried he was going to fall off completely! But, in the nick of time, Sonic homing attacked and brought himself back to the lizoid. "WHAT!?" Eggman gripped his head, amazed but not fully surprised since he knew Sonic's ability to lock-on to targets from far distances. "Drat! Drop the girl and let's get out of here!" he hit a button as the Lizoid was slashed and hit repeatedly, before tossing the girl off the building and whimpering up to Eggman's machine. "What are you crying about!? Get off my machine, you'll weigh us both down-OH NO!" he started to hear the engine overworking as his eggpod hovered downward, then tilted as a small explosion steamed at the bottom of it… "Oh dear… AHHH!" the two feel as the lizoid let out a metallic cry.

This ties loose ends. -shrugs- This is where the squees and pillow gripping in glee come in. Also angst lol XD people like that these days. With obstacle two cleared, we're on to three, the climax, where you really need to nail them hard! We've built the tension consisting in Amy, and the 'evidence of care' in Sonic, now it's time to wrap the two together in those emotions!

As Amy fell, tears escaped her eyes as her flight or fight response kicked in. "HEELLPPP!" she cried out, holding her hands towards herself instead of out, and closing her eyes in terror. 'Is this really how I go?' she lightly squeezed her hands, feeling the air whisk by her so rapidly… drowning out most sounds… How long had she been falling? How much more left? 'But I… I wanted to see him… one last… time… I want to be with him! I don't want to die.. Sonic.. Sonic, please save me.' She suddenly heard something muffled through the wind and opened her eyes, tears spraying upwards in blobbed droplets before seeing Sonic coming speedily down above her. "Ah..!" it almost took her breath away. 'What if he dies too..? No!' "No,… Sonic! Sonic, save yourself!" she cried out, but he could barely hear her too. He sucked in his stomach, less resistance too as his cheeks flushed out and puffed, his hands and legs close together by his body. "I promised!" he cried out quickly, before reaching down to grab her around the waist, looping his arm and then holding her within his arms. "You alright?" he smiled, seeming calm before looking towards the ground. "Hmm.. hang on." he held out his chaos emerald. Amy's eyes went from fear to absolute delight at holding onto Sonic once more. She sobbed in joy now, gripping her arms around his neck and clinging to him from his front. "Oh, Sonic..!" "Chaos…!" right before the big splat-! "Control!"

Hold on to your hats! That's not the end of the feels!after the climax, you need the cool down, but your heart can keep racing as much as you want!

Amy felt the thud on her head… before realizing that Sonic's arms had wrapped protectively around it, and the thud she felt was simply the impact, not so much the full force. "Ow…" Sonic slowly got up, removing his hands around her, as she realized his head was right directly with hers. Breathless, she continued to marvel with shaken eyes at how he took the brute force of that impact, the rest of her was sore, but would be fine… "Sonic you.. you saved me. Just like you promised." He looked up from rubbing the back of his head, still holding himself a bit over her, and smiled. "Have I ever broken a promise to ya? Amy…" he looked sweetly to her, before looking under himself and realizing what this looked like. With a shy-guy's nerves 'of steel' he shook his head back and forth, analyzing the situation and zoomed off, offering her his hand. "That was a close call! What were you doing in the city, anyway?" She took his hand and got up, dusting herself a bit but feeling woozy. "I… heard about… you… woah!" she clutched her head but was about to go tumbling back down, before Sonic's killer reflexes caught her again, and held a hand over her stomach to keep her stable. He blinked with slight worry, but smiled to try and keep his composure from showing through. Looking over his shoulder slightly to her, he sweat-dropped and spoke again, "Maybe that wasn't such a bright idea, huh?" "Ah! Bright idea? Hmph!" Offended, Amy's head shot up and she puffed up her cheek, pushing his supporting arm away from her and trying not to stumble back at the force,… also trying to remember what 'balance' was again. "Sonic The Hedgehog, how dare you mock the bleeding heart of-!" she was about to fall backwards. "Amy, look out!"

… noticing the touching..?

Amy was caught once again, but the wind got knocked out of her and she gasped for air. "Amy…" Sonic helped her down and leaned her forward, slightly hesitating, but rubbing her back and squatting down as she fell to her knees. "Man.. if I'd had known you cared this much.. I would have just kept my mouth shut." His voice was tender, almost as if considering her feelings for a moment, as she coughed and sucked in, covering her mouth a moment in embarrassment at the spit she was forced to spray out from clogging her throat up. "You.. you don't have to shut your mouth…" she felt like crying again. She didn't want him to be still and silent around her… She was just taken aback by it all. "It's just been a while.. I don't remember the last time I'd been kidnapped before." "More like held hostage, but we'll go with that." Sonic joked, kidding as he lightly nudged her shoulder to get her to laugh too. She tried to restrain against it, but couldn't help seeing his snarky-looking face and giggle to his chuckle.

So, not only is obstacle three completed, but now we're bonding and showing growth through communication. We're seeing a different side of Sonic 'outside' the battlefield and a more 'touchy' side of Amy we already knew existed, but how Sonic throws her back into falling in love with him again. Remember, we're trying to get the audience to love these two. It's important to show pivotal moments of 'friendship' or 'romance' at times like these, or sprinkled through the story.

Sonic helped her up and she laughed as she leaned against him. "Alright, tinkle-toes. Let's try one foot in front of the other." He held her hands in his own. "Hey!" He looked up from her feet, at her exclamation and just snickered, "It's just a joke." he shook his nose in her direction and made her blush and giggle. A good way to throw her off from staying or being mad at him for too long. "Alright, and- hup, hup, hup-ho-wah!" he suddenly jumped back from her as she staggered and started doing a Russian-like dance with his feet, before doing a back-flip and kicking his legs out again from a squat. She laughed at his odd behavior but that was the point, he was relaxing her, and the laughing created a normal breathing pattern again in her systems.

A common misconception is that Sonic has no fun with Amy. This proves that wrong. And it's important for the bonding we were talking about earlier. Also, it makes us enjoy the moment with the characters more. Lovability increases ;) NEVER END A STORY WITHOUT KNOWING YOUR CHARACTERS ARE LOVABLE- ehem, moving on~

After getting back up and helping Amy once more with walking, he ended up losing patience and just scooping her up, in a silly fashion, away to her home. She insisted he spend more time with her, but he also encouraged her rest and that he had to hunt down Eggface before that lizard-robot gets repaired. "Do you have to go?" Amy's eyes lingered on her plea, her body leaned against her creaked open door as Sonic gave her a gentle reminder of his true duty. "Come on, Amy… don't give me that look. I'm a hero, remember? I'm just lucky you're safe." he winked, giving her a thumbs up and then shook his pointer finger out, leaning forward, "And didn't I hear you say something about dinner?" She suddenly grew excited again, and used the couch to stabilize her as she wobbled to the kitchen. "Be back in an hour!" she shouted out, as Sonic took the door handle, winked with a salute, and closed it. "See ya then,… Amy!" he darted out and took off towards wherever Eggman set up base. 'I better hurry and make this one quick.' he smirked, 'Otherwise,… Amy might just topple over while I'm gone!' it made him internally laugh… but even deeper down.. was there perhaps.. another reason?

I admit this is more 'canon-writing' but you should always leave off with a feeling or 'questioning presence' for your reader to think about. They remember 'how they felt' or the 'emotion' more than do the whole story, sometimes. ;) But most importantly-! Write for you! :D

When you get an idea-!

I hope you think of me~

lol if you ever need help, I'm always here for ya, cuties! XD