Chapter 49

It was déjà vu all over again.

Vallea was standing outside of Jon's motel room, already knowing where he was staying because being his personal assistant gave her that perk. The only difference was she wouldn't run away like she nearly had with Seth. Why she even WENT to Seth in the first place…that was how all of this really started. Why she was on Seth's radar to begin with and why he blackmailed her into breaking Jon's heart to be with him unwillingly. None of it mattered anymore because Seth was gone, out of their lives. Taking a deep breath, Vallea knocked on the door and held her breath when it opened, looking up into those electric blue orbs.

"I won't take up a lot of your time, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened earlier at the arena. I shouldn't assume anything when it comes to you, and you were right in everything you said. I just didn't want to upset Monique more than I already have and ruin the happiest day of her life. I know you would go to her and ask her permission because that's the type of person you are." Her eyes lowered from his as Vallea rolled her lips together and knew she was swallowing a lot of pride coming here. "That's all I wanted to say. I'm sorry, Jon."

"Get in here." Jon ordered, reaching out to pull her inside without waiting for her to do it herself.

He had been thinking all night and drinking a little. He wasn't ever going to do the blackout drunk bit again, especially not with her around, because that would lead to him doing some seriously messed up and potentially humiliating things. Jon resumed the pacing he had been doing, a lit cigarette dangling from his bottom lip. One of the benefits of staying in shitholes like this was they didn't overly care about the smoking ban thing that most hotels had going on these days.

"I know I'm an asshole and I'm sorry. Apology accepted, by the way." Jon added, wanting to show his appreciation. "I'm…I'm trying to trust you, Vallea…and I know all that shit that caused this crap between us is literally dead and buried, but…I feel like I gotta make sure things are going MY way because I'm afraid you're going to run off again or something." He was a pathetic mess. "I know you're not, I know it, but I can't make myself stop, doll." He was trying.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jon. I did that once before, and I was miserable. I'll never do that to myself again." It broke her heart to see how torn up he was about this, and she wanted to reach out to him yet stayed where she was. "I know it's…difficult for you to trust me. I don't blame you, and I know I'll have to regain your trust slowly. But I also won't ever take orders from a man again." Her eyes narrowed slightly, recalling all the times she had to obey Seth. "We just need to find a middle ground and stick to it. So don't apologize to me; you have nothing to be sorry about, and you didn't do anything wrong. And you're not an asshole either. Stop beating yourself up over this because it's NOT your fault. This is on me – it was my choice to hurt you the way I did, to destroy us, and I know it takes time to heal those types of wounds." She was still healing from everything she'd been through.

"Twice, you dick." He flashed her two fingers, though the side of his mouth was curved upwards into a hint of a smile. Jon stopped pacing and kept a respectable distance between them. "I love you, Vallea, but right now, I don't think it's enough, doll." He had never stopped loving her, would never stop, and Jon wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse. Sometimes, it felt more one than the other. "I'm not trying to order you…not like Seth. I am NOT Seth." He added sharply, cracking his neck on each side, eyes icing over. "I've never hit you or raped you, and I'm not about to start now. Never told you what to say or how to dress…I did order you to go to a wedding with me." He conceded, eyes narrowing slightly. "But I'm not him."

Christ, that hurt to hear him say those words to her. He loved her, but it wasn't enough. Could she blame him? If the shoe was on the other foot, she probably would've felt the same way he did.

"I know you're not him, believe me. You're nothing like him."

Jon was so much better than Seth, which was probably why Seth wanted to destroy him. Hell, she didn't WANT to know what went through that lunatic's mind. Jon already knew how she felt about him, but she wouldn't say the words again, not after hearing his confession about loving her not being enough.

"That's why I apologized for what I said to you earlier; I know you didn't mean to order me around. It just…it reminded me momentarily of how many orders I had to take from that asshole, but I know you're not him. There's no comparison."

Jon had seen the look on her face when he had said love wasn't enough and felt the need to clarify. "Vallea, I mean…it's not enough to just dive back into things with you." They had done that before, and here they were, having that conversation all over again it seemed. "We got together fast, we got back together fast, and…I want to be with you, but I can't dive in, and I don't think you can either." Diving in wasn't going to erase the hurt or help either of them heal. "And I hate the awkwardness between us because we've seen each other naked and sick, sometimes both at the same time, so there should be no awkwardness." He grinned when she chuckled at that.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Jon. I get it, and I can't deny any of it. You deserve someone better than me, honestly. I'm…damaged goods." Vallea cleared her throat, not wanting any sympathy or pity because she didn't deserve any of it, especially from him. "I don't know what to do about the awkwardness. I don't think there is anything to be done about it." This wasn't why she had come here, and they were getting off course. "If you still want me to go to the wedding with you, I will. I'm sure you can find someone better to go with besides me, though." She was being brutally honest with him and herself.

"Doll, I'M damaged goods." Was she serious? "We're both damaged." Jon could concede that. Well, she was physically AND mentally, so she may have had one up on him, but if they were playing the 'one up' game with this, they really were insane. "And no, I can't find someone better. You've met Darla, I know you have." In fact, he was pretty sure Vallea had overheard one of their sexcapades and the infamous 'Daddy' thing. At the time, it had been hot as hell. In retrospect, he had serious issues. "I'm a slum kid, always will be. I will ask Monique first, and if she says yes, I would very much like you to be my date for the wedding."

It wasn't a competition to see who was more messed up than the other. Vallea sneered at the name Darla that came out of Jon's mouth, not able to forget the 'Daddy' thing as long as she lived. Christ, that had been terrible to overhear, and it was one of the reasons she'd gone to Seth. That moment had actually driven her to go to Seth for sex, actually. She firmly pushed that memory away, not wanting to relive or think about it, and cracked a small smile.

"All right, just let me know if she's okay with it. And if she wants to talk to me, I'm up for that too." They had to start somewhere. "By the way, you're the hottest slum kid I've ever seen." That was probably a bad joke on her part, but it got Jon to smile.

"Yeah, I figured you thought so when you started tossing ones at me. I'm worth tens, by the way." He joked, stubbing out what was left of his cigarette before running his hands over his head, staring at her intently. "I'll get a hold of her tomorrow. She's probably going to say yes because she hates the alternative." Monique didn't hate Vallea, as far as he knew. Not anymore. Women were strange and complicated creatures, and thank god he wasn't one. "Maybe I can talk her into doing something like coffee…she likes coffee." A lot.

Monique was a coffee fanatic, as far as Vallea remembered. Times could've changed in the past 2 years, she didn't know. "Only if she wants to. I know she has a lot going on with the wedding planning, so…try not to pressure her into it. I'm not saying you're going to." Jon could be pushy when he wanted to be, when the situation called for it. "And you're worth more than tens with that package you're carrying." More like hundreds, thousands, even millions. "And on that note, I'm leaving. Get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning." She had embarrassed herself enough for one night.

"Night, doll." Jon, like the sometimes gentleman he could be, opened the door for her.

He had made a fool of himself enough for one night, but at least the night was ending on a better note. They had sort of cleared the air, and that was better than leaving all that animosity hanging unresolved. He wasn't going to push Momo into anything; he knew better. The woman would remove his balls, bedazzle them, and use them as wedding reception decor or something. She hadn't been a major bitch about her wedding, but the fair few times someone had tried pushing her, or Joe, into something neither of them had clearly wanted, she had unleashed.

Joe seemed to find it all amusing; that was sick.

The following day, Vallea received a very unexpected guest at her hotel room door. She was just finishing packing up when the knock came, and she zipped her bag up before going to answer it, floored at who it was. It was Monique…alone…and a barrage of emotions rushed through Vallea all at once, tears filling her eyes. She couldn't help it. They had been so close prior to her life being saved by Jon, and everything else that followed had destroyed their friendship. Vallea had no idea what to say to this woman and braced herself for whatever was next, doing everything in her power not to let the tears fall. Monique should have been the one crying, not the other way around.

Monique stared at Vallea, her face carefully neutral. Vallea, in her heartbreak, had broken up with everyone associated with Jon and those memories, it seemed. Including her, which she had not been okay with. She had known Vallea long before Jon came into the picture, and to be cast aside because of a man, well…it had hurt and broken her heart.

"Jon asked if he could bring you as his plus one." She said after a long moment, not moving to step in.

"Yeah, he…asked me to go with him last night." More like demanded, which caused an argument, but Monique didn't need to know that. "I told him I would only go if you were all right with it. And I understand completely if you're not." What she did to Monique, cutting her off the way she had, was unforgivable. Vallea didn't move to step aside to let Monique inside, having a feeling this would be a short conversation between them.

"Better you than that blonde bimbo." Monique backhandedly was giving her consent to Vallea coming. "He's Best Man, so he'll be a bit busy. You'll have to fend for yourself during the actual ceremony when he's with the wedding party." A party Vallea could have been a part of and could have been her Maid of Honor. She wasn't thinking about any of that. "Here." She held out an invitation and a few other pieces of paper. "That's the date and time, where we're staying at, and an invitation to get into the venue because we had to hire security and anyone without one of those, guest or not, won't be allowed in." That was all Joe's famous backside's fault.

She took the invitation, surprise etched on her face, and wanted to hug Monique, but thought better of it. The woman was being forced to do this or forcing herself to be nice. Vallea wouldn't push the boundaries. "Thank you, Monique. And I'll be fine by myself while the ceremony is going on and whatnot, no worries." She was only Jon's date, they weren't back together as a couple or anything. "I'm really happy for you. Joe's a lucky guy." If only she could tell Monique the truth about everything that happened…maybe they wouldn't be nearly as tense with each other as they currently were.

"He sure is." Monique smiled slightly, then shrugged. "I'm a lucky girl, we're just both lucky." They could have had something messed up like Jon and Vallea, and she wouldn't wish that kind of relationship, or whatever it was, on anyone. "They're downstairs in the cafe. Come down and have coffee when you're ready." She had promised to be nice because Jon had gotten down on his knees and pleaded.

The knee part had been her idea.

The tension was still there between the women, but in time, hopefully, it would vanish. Vallea met them down in the café, ordering a mocha latte and a bagel with cream cheese. Jon had worked his magic, and she could only imagine what Monique had him do to make the bride hand over an invitation. She stayed quiet while Jon and Joe boasted about the upcoming bachelor party, only for Monique to order there be no strippers. She wouldn't condone that behavior from her future husband, and Joe agreed, not wanting them either. Jon had groaned, called her a party pooper and Vallea laughed at him, smacking his arm playfully.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Whatever the bride wants, the bride gets, Ambrose."

Joe grinned at his spitfire future wife and kissed her neck softly. "No strippers, bro. Gotta go with the wife on this one."

It was cute how Joe was already calling Monique 'wife' and they weren't married yet.