"Do you mind getting the curtains, Hikigaya-kun?"

Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou and Maria Mikhailovna Kujou had moved into the neighbourhood. Hikigaya knew both sisters courtesy of his acquaintance with Masachika Kuze. However his so called good friend couldn't quite make it today, because of some work related commitment, so the rotten dead fish eyed loner got stuck helping the two half-Russian women with the tedious and mind numbing job of first packing and later unpacking a series of cardboard boxes.

Thankfully his good deed of the week was done and he was about to take his leave before he was wrangled into doing some other stuff for the two beautiful women, when Alisa Mikhailovna Kujou, the younger and much more smarter sister asked him to open the curtains on the window.

He didn't think too much about it. The silver haired half-Russian girl was probably preoccupied with something else, because she wasn't even in the room. Her voice wafted through the open door leading to the sitting room. Hikigaya looked around for a second and thought the room he was in could probably use a little sun.

There was not a lot of thinking involved. He was even standing quite close to the window. But he couldn't quite see what was happening outside because of the curtains. Since he now had Alisa's permission, he could easily remedy the situation.

Hikigaya remembered throwing open the curtains with a bit more force than usual. By now he was a bit annoyed with both the sisters bossing him around. He did most of the heavy lifting and he does mean that literally and neither woman had a problem with that. According to them feminism had a time and a place. But if you need help moving the sofa or some other piece of furniture in the living room, feminism can take a hike. Yuki Suou's words, not his. And it seemed like the Kujou sisters adhered to that particular sentiment. After all, those three girls were supposed to be good friend.

Funnily enough, Yuki Suou couldn't quite make it today either. Now it wasn't very much like him to text or call up the girl even though he had her number in his phone and she had his latest copy of a shonen manga series which followed the exploits of a harem protagonist and his three blood related sister, but he didn't really want to talk to the weirdo. So he did the next best thing and asked Alisa about her whereabouts and why she couldn't show up to help her friends.

Now for the most part, Alisa didn't even try to defend Yuki Suou. Now he very much understood that she was not throwing her friend under the bus. It was very much in character for her to not defend the actions of the undefendable. But Maria Mikhailovna Kujou, the nicer older sister came to her younger sister's friend's rescue and managed a small flimsy excuse at best.

And now the same half-Russian woman was stretched out on a deck chair, topless, working on a suntan in her own backyard. All he did was slide open the curtains, but he must have made a bit of a racket, because Maria heard him and it broke the spell, the peace and tranquility and he felt the need to mentally berate himself. He knew how this looked. He didn't intend to get caught. Now he was in for a world of hurt and humiliation.

"Hikigaya-kun, are you done with Alya's bedroom?" Maria asked in a soothing voice.

Hikigaya, who was expecting fire and brimstone, and a call to the local authorities, didn't quite know how to respond. But he did pride himself on his intellect, so he floundered for only a second or two before his brain kicked things into gear. "Y-Yeah. Everything's done. I was just about to leave."

Maria Mikhailovna Kujou had a much more grounded complexion than her younger sister. Where Alisa's skin was almost translucent, there was a hint of natural colour in her older sister. And from the looks of it, the sun had worked its magic on her. He imagined she might be doing this for a while now. He remembers mowing her lawn a couple of days back. Those deck chairs were there. But she wasn't and neither were her bare breasts, exposed to the elements and his rotten dead fish eyes. He tried to look away. But he couldn't. It was nigh impossible.

For some reason, Maria Mikhailovna Kujou didn't seem to mind. She pushed her sunglasses up until it rested primly on her forehead. Then she rolled over on the deck chair and turned to his side until she was facing him and even though she was the one on the outside, lying naked under the sun, working on a tan, for some reason he was the one who was working up a sweat. "Good." A smile adorned her face and nothing else. "Then you wouldn't mind rubbing some sunscreen on me, would you?" Her voice melted him like butter left out to sizzle on a hot pan. "I don't want to get sun burnt."

Now that would be simply terrible. Hikigaya remembered throwing open the curtains and taking in the naked form of Maria Mikhailovna Kujou, the hot sun serving as a backdrop even though it was beating down from ontop of her and making her sizzle and work up a tan. The brown haired beauty was topless, her bare breasts pushed out into the open, nipples sticking out, a pair of large sunglasses resting on the bridge of her nose and a bottle of unopened sunblock kept in her outstretched palm. It took him a moment to realize she was waiting for him to respond. How typical. The mere glimpse of a pair of huge breasts had turned the once intelligent male mind into that of a mindless simp. This kind of behaviour was unbecoming of a loner of his high caliber. He wouldn't stand for this. Nope. Not at all.

"…Hikigaya-kun?" Maria Mikhailovna Kujou sounded confused.

Like he said before, Hikigaya Hachiman remembered throwing open the curtains hanging from the window overlooking the backyard of the Kujou sisters' household in a fit of annoyance and rage.

"Hikigaya-kun!?" Maria screamed at the top of her lungs.

But Hikigaya Hachiman didn't remember opening the window and falling down headfirst to his near imminent death.

So what's the lesson here folks?

Easy.

Don't be a simp.

Be more like Hikigaya Hachiman and throw yourself off a building at the sight of some naked boobies.

-x-x-x-

Author's Note: I think at this juncture I should point out that this chapter is meant to be taken as a joke. Please don't throw yourself of a building if some girl flashes your her boobies. Seriously, don't be like Hikigaya...Okay, with that public service announcement out of the way, now I want to talk about some of the ideas I have in my head about a fic that I really want to write.

So, in the past, I tried writing a Chiba Fic which takes place in high school like - "As Expected, I'm The Third Wheel In Others Romantic Comedy". Recently I tried writing one again, called - "Chiba : Zero Year." But both those fics failed, because I couldn't think of a unifying plot to move the action forward from one scene to the next. I know both those fics got some reviews, but trust me, the story wouldn't simply work out in the future. It wasn't self-sustaining enough and I couldn't carry it for multiple chapters.

But I haven't given up on the perfect "Chiba: High School Fic" and lo and behold I have come up with an interesting plot. Let me share it with you:

"Loid Forger/Agent Twilight is given a new mission: Move to Japan and investigate the Yukinoshitas and Shinomiyas and other elite families of Japan. The kids of these families are being enrolled in the Advanced Nurturing Curriculum and according to Westalis Intelligence this might be a front for The White Room, Japan's version of the Red Room, otherwise known as The Black Widow Program. WISE thinks some of these teenage boys and girls are receiving training to become elite spies and assassins in the future. That's the best case scenario. Worst case scenario: they are already too late and all these teenagers have been indoctrinated and turned, brainwashed into child soldiers and sleeper agents like The Winter Soldier waiting for their commands from their handlers to assassinate world leaders and take down world governments and upset the status quo of the world.

Twilight's mission is to infiltrate White Marble Hill - a high school which follows the Advanced Nurturing Curriculum - and in order to do so, he needs to become the guardian of a long, distant relative, a sixteen year old teenage boy, a rotten dead fish eyed loner, who goes by the name of Hikigaya Hachiman."

Well, basically, that's the plot and if you think it's all very gloom and doom because of the mention of the Red Room and The Winter Soldier and elite spies and assassins and child soldiers and sleeper agents, don't worry, that's not the case. I just had to find a way to connect "Spy x Family" to "Classroom of The Elite", because let's face it, as much as we love Hikigaya Hachiman, he will be no match for Kiyotaka Ayanokouji, unless a lot of plot armor is involved. But Loid Forger/Twilight vs Kiyotaka Ayanokouji, even if it is kinda unfair, a teeanger going up against a super spy, let's face it, that will be worth it.

Okay, so I think what I have written here doesn't really do justice to the whole story I have in mind and I really want you guys to believe in me and the idea I have for this fic, because I think I have struck gold. So let me try again:

Basically, this will be a slice-of-life, high school romcom fic and since it's me, you can bet your ass that it will be a multi-crossover and will feature a ton of characters. Now what I have in mind is pretty simple: The fic will feature family elements from the likes of "Spy x Family" and other similar shows. The whole high school aspect will be divided between - "Komi-san Can't Communicate" for normal high school shenanigans and first meetings and interactions and then there will be certain aspects taken from shows like "Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun" and "Classroom of the Elite" and "The Irregular at Magic High School" and "OreGairu" for some of the more high school drama elements and for the out-of-school shenanigans, I will use elements from "A Certain Magical Index" and other similar shows with supernatural and sci-fi elements.

Again, as I am typing this stuff up, I am thinking this is not the best way to explain things, but that's the image I have stuck in my head.

Okay, enough typing. Time for some polls -

Poll#1: What Is Hachiman's Family Situation In The Chiba Fic?

Option 1: Komachi is dead and Hachiman's Mother and Father abandoned him with some distant relatives.

Option 2: Komachi is alive and both she and Hachiman are taken in by Loid Forger.

Poll#2: With Which Distant Relatives Is Hachiman Staying in The Chiba Fic?

Option 1: Ichikawa Kyoutarou's family - The Dangers In My Heart.

Option 2: Tomoko Kuroki's family - WataMote

Option 3: Hayato Kasukabe and the Women of the Café Terrace Familia - The Café Terrace and Its Goddesses.

Poll#3: What Happens To The Characters Of Oshi no Ko in The Chiba Fic?

Option 1: Ai Hoshino is dead and Aqua Hoshino and Ruby Hoshino joins Hachiman in High School.

Option 2: Ai Hoshino joins Hachiman in High School.

Option 3: Ai Hoshino dies and gets reincarnated and becomes Komachi Hikigaya's friend in middle school.

Option 4: Komachi Hikigaya dies and gets reincarnated as Ruby Hoshino and befriends Hachiman in high school.

Option 5: Loid Forger and Yor Forger takes in Ai Hoshino and her twins because of Hachiman.

Poll#4: What Should Be The Vibe Of Hachiman's High School in The Chiba Fic?

Option 1: Classroom of the Elite Vibes

Option 2: The Irregular at Magic High School Vibes

Option 3: Normal High School Vibe.

Poll#5: Should Magic and Other Esper Skills and Abilities Be Taught In School As A Subject?

Option 1: Yes.

Option 2: No.

Please pick accordingly

Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter

Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.

Won't betray your dreams.