Author's Note: The editing function wanted me to change 'subdural hematoma' to 'subdue tomato.' Somehow it sounds less threatening that way. Thank you, katbybee, for being an awesome beta-reader!

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August 20, 2021

It was noon in Charleston, South Carolina. Danny and Ralph were eating lunch when Danny suddenly remembered something from his childhood. Dodge City, Kansas. That's where Matt Dillon was! Stella had watched Gunsmoke as a kid. Danny never paid much attention to the show, but at last he remembered that crucial detail.

Danny picked up his phone and called Lou, even though it was only six in the morning there. The sooner Lou knew, the sooner he could get to Dodge City. "Lou, I think I know where we might find Steve. Sullivan came into the States using the name Matt Dillon. That's from the show Gunsmoke. We need to go to Dodge City, Kansas. Meet me there as soon as you can."

Less than an hour later, Lou called to tell him that he and Junior, Jacks and Lokstadt were about to fly out of Hickam. Jacks would fly them to Kansas. They would meet Danny at Dodge City Regional Airport. Danny had already contacted the police in Dodge City. They had promised to look for Sullivan. Danny and Ralph had a flight in the afternoon. Danny hoped that 5-0 would cover his travel expenses, because last minute flights were expensive!

Danny and Ralph arrived in Dodge City at five in the evening. They met Sheriff Wheeler at the police department. "Have you found anything?" Danny asked.

The sheriff rubbed the back of his neck. "So far, no. I'm sorry." He looked up at Danny. "I know you're law enforcement. The governor is granting you and your colleagues the right to act as police here. He's a Navy man and he hopes you get the men who took the Commander."

"Thank you." Lou was bringing Danny his gun. Danny didn't like being without it, but he wasn't registered to use it anywhere on the mainland. He had contacted the governor and requested an emergency registration before flying to Kansas.

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Siobhan watched in horror. The gallows were almost finished. Her father was outside working with the men. She decided to find Steve's phone. She knew her father had hidden it somewhere, and that he kept it charged. He was only halfway in 1870. She went into his office and looked through his desk drawers. There were several phones in the top drawer. She didn't know which one was Steve's so she grabbed them all. As soon as the work was done, her father was going to hang Steve. Siobhan couldn't stop crying about it. She snuck outside and around to the back entrance to the bunkhouse so no one would see her go in.

"Steve," she said, "look what I found!" She handed him the phones. "I don't know which one is yours."

"Thanks," Steve said as he picked out a phone. "Hopefully it works — I haven't paid my bill in I don't know how long."

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Danny's phone rang a few minutes after Lou and Junior arrived with Jacks and Lokstadt. The call came from Steve's phone. Danny connected to his phone's internet and pinged the coordinates of the call before he answered. It was coming from just north of Dodge City. "Hello?"

"Danny." It was Steve's voice. He sounded upset.

"Steve. I'm in Dodge City."

"You're close. I'm on a ranch. Can you ping the coordinates?"

"I already have. I know exactly where you are."

"I killed Thomas Sullivan. Seamus Kincaid is about to hang me. They're almost done building the gallows. Please hurry. Catherine's dead. Sullivan killed her. I can't escape on my own. They keep me chained. They took my leg. Come fast."

"It's the Hodgeson Ranch," a girl's voice said. "Hurry!"

"We're on the way. It isn't far." Danny looked up at the sheriff. "I know where he is. They're about to hang him. We have to hurry!"

While they were driving, the sheriff called for an ambulance and paramedics to meet them at the ranch.

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Steve was writing in his journal when Seamus burst in, brandishing a rifle. Steve dropped the journal on the bed and picked up Sammy, but Seamus grabbed the baby. "Tell him goodbye," he ordered.

"Daddy loves you, Sammy," Steve said. Just in case, he'd said his goodbyes in the journal. Tell everyone I love them, he'd written. He wished he could tell them himself.

Seamus handed Sammy off to one of the men. "Take him in the house."

Siobhan wept. "You can't do this! It isn't right! Please don't!"

Seamus shook his head. "He must die for his crimes." He unfastened Steve's chain from the wall and tugged him outside. Then he led him up the steps onto the gallows platform. He fitted the noose around Steve's neck. Steve tried to remove it, but Seamus grabbed the chain and pulled his arm down so he couldn't. Seamus took several steps backwards, still holding Steve's arm down. "Go ahead, Festus!" he shouted. "Pull the lever!"

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The sheriff stopped in front of the Hodgeson ranch. There was a lock on the gate. He shot the lock and pushed the gate open. Danny and Ralph ran inside. Lou and Junior were right beside him. Danny could see the gallows. Steve was standing there, and a man had just put a rope around his neck. Danny heard the other man standing on the gallows call for Festus to pull the lever.

"Hell, no! You pull that lever, and you die!" Danny raised his gun and aimed it at Festus, or whatever his name was. The man backed away from the lever.

Kincaid raised his rifle. He glared at Danny. Then he hit Steve hard in the head with the rifle butt. Steve fell with the rope still around his neck. Kincaid hit Steve a second time and pulled back for a third strike. Danny adjusted his aim and fired. His bullet hit Kincaid in the head, killing him instantly.

"Damn," Danny muttered. "Steve really doesn't need another concussion!"

Danny heard a gunshot. A bullet struck him in front on the right. He fell down. Then he heard another shot fired. Lou or Junior must have shot the person who shot him.

All of the spectators scattered. The sheriff and his officers chased them. Danny was in pain, but he didn't care. He struggled to crawl up the steps to the gallows platform and to Steve's side. Danny pulled the rope away from Steve's neck. His best friend was unconscious. "Get the paramedics, now!"

Ralph had come up with him. He knelt beside Steve and brushed a hand through his hair. "Oh Son, what did they do to you?" He blinked back tears and looked at Danny.

A teenage girl came running up to the platform. She threw herself down at Kincaid's side. "Da, please don't die. I don't want you to die!" She looked up at Danny. "I know why you shot him. He didn't give you no choice. But I didn't want him to die."

"I'm sorry," Danny said. "You're right, he didn't give me a choice." He turned to Lou. "Find a key. I want to get this shackle off his wrist. And send Junior to find the baby."

The second paramedic moved in. "Please, sir," she said to Danny, "you need to lie down and let me treat you."

"Da has the key. Sammy's in the house. Da wrote down information about him. You'll want that for Steve. I saw it on the desk when I found the phones. I don't read too good, but I saw the name Bobby. That's what Tommy called him." She reached into her father's pocket and pulled out a key. She handed it to Ralph. "Here." She was getting herself under control again. She looked away briefly, then met Danny's gaze. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. You only done what you had to."

The paramedic was tending to Steve now. He bandaged the bleeding wound on Steve's head. Ralph unlocked the shackle from Steve's left wrist. Steve had bruises all the way around the wrist. His right leg was gone below the knee. Someone had cut his right pants leg short. His right arm was in a sling and that hand was stuck in a claw-like position. He was way too skinny. A wooden leg was strapped to his stump. He was dressed in clothes that belonged in the eighteen hundreds. "I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner, pal," Danny said. He looked at the first paramedic. "Tell me what's wrong with him."

"Well, he needs stitches. I'm pretty sure he has a concussion." The paramedic pulled aside the sling on Steve's right arm and tore his sleeve. He raised the arm. "He's got an ulnar nerve injury, and I suspect a radial nerve injury because of the wrist drop. It looks like he may have been shot here." He pointed to a scar just below Steve's elbow. "It was stitched up, and they never removed the stitches. See, they're poking out there. The skin just healed around them."

The teenager came closer to Danny. "You're Detective Williams, right? Steve told me about you. You got to get the blue urn from the bunkhouse. Steve will want it. Catherine's ashes are in it."

The paramedics had moved Steve onto a gurney. They came back with a Stokes stretcher for Danny. "Now it's your turn," Janna said.

Danny nodded. "Ralph, go find the urn please."

When Ralph came back, Danny was in the Stokes. Ralph was carrying the urn. He handed Danny a journal. "This was on the bed. I glanced at it. Looks like he was writing to you."

Steve was just being loaded into the ambulance. They slid Danny in as well. Danny opened Steve's journal and started reading. The first entry was messy but legible. Steve must have written it after his right hand was injured.

Dear Danny,

I never told you that I married Catherine. We decided that it was the best thing to do when we found out she was pregnant. Our son's name is Samuel Jack McGarrett. We didn't want a big fancy wedding. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I wish I had told you. Now Catherine's gone and it's my fault. Tom Sullivan killed her because I killed his brother. I wish we had gone back to Hawaii months ago. None of this would have happened if I had 5-0 backing me up.

I tried to protect her, but I was on a chain and Seamus pulled me away. I was forced to watch Sullivan execute her. She had just given birth. Sullivan took Sammy. He wanted to keep him.

I don't know if I'm going to survive this, Danny. I don't know if I want to. If you come looking for me, I hope you'll find Sammy. I want you to be his dad if I don't make it. Charlie would love a little brother, don't you think?

Danny closed the journal. He couldn't read any more right now. He closed his eyes and prayed that Steve would be OK. A lapsed Catholic, he couldn't remember the prayers for the sick or injured that he'd learned as a boy. He hoped that didn't matter to God. When he finished, he said, "Amen" and crossed himself.

The driver pulled up to the emergency entrance of the hospital. The paramedics pulled Steve out first, then they got Danny down and onto a gurney. Danny was wheeled into the ER behind Steve. When the orderly was about to put him in a separate room, he said, "Look, I'm all bandaged up. I'll stay on the gurney, but I need to be with Steve." He wasn't about to let his friend out of his sight. At last, the orderly agreed. Ralph followed them. Danny was grateful for his presence. Ralph was worried, but he was keeping calm in a way that Danny struggled to.

"I'm Commander McGarrett's emergency contact," Danny said to the doctor. "You can verify that with Tripler Army Medical Center." It might not be true anymore, but Tripler would back him up.

The doctor frowned at him. "I'm told you need treatment too."

Danny shook his head. "I can wait. Take care of him first. I need to know everything about his condition."

The doctor let out a long sigh. "Fine," she said. Danny overheard her order a CT scan for Steve.

After the scan, the doctor talked with Danny. "The Commander has a moderate concussion. I want to keep a close eye on him, as he could potentially develop a subdural hematoma. That's why I did a CT scan. I didn't see any signs of bleeding at this point."

Danny groaned. "Damn. I knew it. He should get into the frequent flier program at Tripler."

The doctor frowned. "He's had previous concussions?"

"Yeah, lots of them. In 2018, he got three concussions in the space of a week in March. He also had a subdural hematoma. He was blind for a couple months. Then he had another concussion in December of that year after a car wreck. That one caused him dizziness and blurred vision for several months. I think he had one after he left Hawaii last year. He told me he and Catherine were forced off the road and they had a wreck. That would have been nine or ten months ago. It was a mild one, though."

"OK," the doctor said. "We're going to keep a careful eye on him. He may have some long-lasting effects from this concussion because of the previous ones." She carefully rolled Steve on his side. "I also found this burn. His captor branded him."

Danny winced. "That had to hurt."

"I'm going to have our dermatologist take a look at it. It's possible he could remove the scar."

"Hey, Doc," Danny said, "can he use his VA insurance here?"

She shook her head. "No, we don't accept that. I could transfer him to the VA hospital in Wichita."

Danny wrinkled his forehead. "When can you release me? I need to be with him."

"That depends on what I find when I examine you," she said. "You haven't let me take care of you yet."

Danny sighed. "OK, fine." He let her send him to get a CT scan. He had a grade three kidney laceration, but the doc said it would heal on its own. The bullet had broken a rib, then made an exit wound in his back. When Danny told the doctor that his spleen had been removed, she put him on IV antibiotics. She cleaned and bandaged the wounds, and she prescribed pain relievers. He didn't intend to take them. He couldn't be foggy when Steve woke up.

When the doctor was done, she sent Danny upstairs to a room he would share with Steve. Lou and Junior were already there. Junior was holding Sammy. Steve was still unconscious. Once Danny was in his bed, he held out his hands. "Come to Uncle Danno, little man." Junior handed him the baby. Danny cradled him to his chest. "Your daddy's going to be OK."

About thirty minutes later, Sheriff Wheeler came in with Siobhan. He sat down next to Danny. "This young lady is asking to go to Hawaii with you and the Commander. She's been here less than six months, so we don't technically have jurisdiction over her. I told her I would talk with you about it."

Danny was startled. He had just killed her father. Why would she want to go anywhere with him? "Don't you have family in Ireland?"

The girl shook her head. "No. My Da was all I had. My mam passed when I was three. Mam's parents raised me when Da was in jail. They were good, but they died. Da's parents died afore I was born. I don't have no aunts nor uncles."

She looked into his eyes and pleaded with him. "Please let me go to Hawaii. Steve is my only friend. He needs my help. Sammy knows me."

Danny sucked in a deep breath. "Steve is badly hurt. It could be a long time before he recovers. He can't take care of you."

She looked down at the floor. Then she took his hand. "Please, Mr. Williams. Maybe you know someone else who would want me?"

Danny thought about it. Adam and Quinn were licensed foster parents. They had talked about Olivia wanting a sister. "I may know someone, and they're close friends with Steve and me." He put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "I really am sorry about your Da," he said. "I had to save Steve."

"He's your best friend, yes?" She rubbed her hand across wet eyes. "He told me about you. He said bein' friends with you made him a better person. I want to see that. All I've seen is my Da and Tommy. They done terrible things. I want somethin' better for my life."

Danny was startled to hear that Steve said that. He smiled and nodded his head. "OK. You can come with us, as long as Sheriff Wheeler allows it."

"It isn't exactly legal, but I'll turn a blind eye," the sheriff said. "I've read about Hawaii 5-0. I'm willing to consider the girl's wishes."

The sheriff shook Danny's hand and left. Danny looked at the girl. "I suppose you should tell me your name."

"I'm Siobhan. My last name's Kincaid, but I don't want that name no more."

"Do you have your passport? You'll need it."

Her brow wrinkled up. "I think it's in Da's desk."

"All right, then," Danny said. "You'll have to go back there and find it." He nodded to Junior. "Siobhan, this is Junior. He's also good friend with Steve. Junior, can you take Siobhan back to the ranch to find her passport? Also get pictures of the gallows and wherever Steve was kept. We'll need that evidence. And maybe bring back a pair of sunglasses for Steve. I'm pretty sure he'll need them."

"Sure." Junior held out a hand to Siobhan. "If we hurry, we can get the sheriff to drive us there."

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August 21, 2021

Steve awoke from a nightmare. His eyes popped open. He was surprised to find himself in a hospital room. "Thought I was gonna wake up dead." His head was pounding. "Damn. Another concussion, huh?"

His vision was blurred, but he could make out Danny sitting next to him holding Sammy. The baby was fussing. Danny was in a wheelchair. "Yeah. But at least you're alive, pal." Danny handed him some sunglasses.

"What happened to you?"

Danny shrugged. "After I shot Kincaid, one of his men shot me. It was through and through, caused a minor kidney laceration. I'll be fine."

He held up Steve's journal. "I read this. I'm sorry for what you went through." He waved a hand through the air. "Whoa. I'm also sorry this little guy is so stinky. The nurses let me have him here so you could see him. We wanted you to know he's safe." He pressed Steve's call button.

A nurse came in. She washed her hands, then picked up Sammy. "Hello, sweet boy! Let's go get you a fresh diaper, darling."

Danny kept talking. "The doctors x-rayed your right arm. The bullet shattered your radius and ulna and they healed wrong because Kincaid didn't allow you proper medical treatment. Actually, your radius and ulna fused. It's called radioulnar synostosis. Either the bullet or bone fragments severed your radial and ulnar nerves. That's why you can't use your arm or hand. The doctor has to cut the bones apart and repair them properly and also has to repair the nerves. They say that the arm might not heal fully." Danny was quiet for a minute. "It was injured after the shoot out, right?"

"Yes," Steve said. "I killed Sullivan. Kincaid shot me." His heart ached. He was hurt and angry and depressed. He had always taken care of himself and now he was damaged goods. Tears flooded his eyes and streamed down his cheeks. He scrubbed at his eyes with his left hand.

When the nurse returned with Sammy, she didn't put him down. She sat next to Steve and cradled the baby. "Do you know if he had any of his vaccinations?"

He shook his head. "He didn't. They wouldn't let us see a doctor."

"All right. With your permission, I'm going to take him to pediatrics and let Dr. Triolo check him over. We'll start his vaccinations and make sure he's healthy."

Steve nodded. "Thanks."

She brought him back an hour later. "Dr. Triolo says he looks good. He got several shots today. He'll be ready in a month for the next set. The doctor prepared a report on everything he did, and you can take that to his pediatrician back home."

"Great. Thanks." Steve relaxed after hearing that Sammy was OK.

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Danny sighed. He grabbed the box of tissues and put it where Steve could reach it.

"Hey, buddy, I'm sorry about your leg." Danny put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner, Steve. I'm sorry I couldn't stop him from hurting you and Catherine."

"My fault, not yours." That struck Danny hard. Steve wiped away tears. "What happened to Kincaid?"

"He's dead." Danny stated it flatly, without remorse. "I shot him. Steve, none of this was your fault." He grabbed Steve's good hand. "I know you feel like you should have saved Catherine, but there was no way you could. Not with what they did to you."

"I don't know." His voice cracked.

Danny sighed. He knew Steve wouldn't want counseling, but he was ready to force the issue. They could talk about it later. He needed to arrange their travel home first. "Do you feel up to more company? Lou and Junior are here. Bradley Jacks and Doug Lokstadt too. Jacks flew us out here."

Steve thought about it. He was too tired for company. "Tomorrow," he said. "I need sleep. Let me kiss Sammy."

Danny held the baby so Steve could give him a kiss. "OK. I'll call Lou to take him to the hotel and put him down for the night."

"Sorry I didn't tell you about him," Steve said.

"It's OK. I read in your journal that you wanted to surprise me." Danny touched his shoulder. "I was hurt when Ralph told me about him, but I'm not mad at you. I just want you to get better."

He called Lou. Steve closed his eyes when Lou came in. Danny figured he was feigning sleep to avoid interacting. Lou took the baby and his bottle. "You come with Uncle Lou now, little man. We'll go to the store and get a diaper bag and everything else this sweet little fellow needs," he said. He put a hand on Danny's shoulder. "You take care of yourself. Use the pain killers, pal."

Danny handed him the journal. "You need to read it. Also, maybe you should call Adam and Quinn about Siobhan."

Ralph came in after Lou left. He sat by Steve's bedside and took his hand. Steve opened his eyes.

"Hello, Son." Ralph stroked Steve's hair out of his eyes. It was long and unruly. "I'm glad to see you again. I'm very sorry about Catherine."

Danny listened to Ralph's soothing voice for a while. He wondered how two Navy SEALs could be so different. Steve was always intense; Ralph was calm and peaceful. His voice carried Danny straight off to sleep.

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Lou was at the hotel. He'd gotten a two-bedroom suite so Siobhan could have a private room. It was pricey, but worth it for the girl's comfort. He let her have Sammy's crib in her room. She really seemed to care about the baby. She bathed him and fed him and got him in clean clothes, then sang him to sleep and laid him in the crib.

Lou laid Steve's journal on the desk. He'd read the whole thing after dinner. Someone knocked. Lou opened the door and found Junior there. He let him in and handed him the journal. "He wrote everything down. There aren't any dates. I'm guessing he didn't know them. But he gave full details. He thought he was going to die there. In the last entry, he says goodbye. He could see the gallows through the window of the bunkhouse." The entries where Steve asked Danny to take custody of Sammy if he didn't make it had brought Lou to tears.

Junior took the book and opened it. He read the first few pages, then put it down and shook his head. "I can't read any more of it. I don't understand how anyone could be so cruel."

Lou pulled a paper out of his pocket. "I found this on Kincaid's desk. The baby was born on May twentieth. That's the day Catherine died, too."

"Damn. I'm glad Steve survived, but he's gotta be hurting. I mean, if something happened to Tani —" Junior shook his head. "I'm really tired, Lou. I'm going to my room to get some sleep."

"All right. See you in the morning. Tomorrow I'll talk with the hospital about getting Sammy a birth certificate. We also need a death certificate for Catherine." Lou let himself out.

Lou sat on the bed and called Renee. "Hey, honey. We found Steve. He's in the hospital. I'm not sure when we'll be heading back. Steve's got a son, Renee. Samuel. Looks just like him."

Next he called Adam. "We found Steve. He's in the hospital now. The bastard who took them killed Catherine. Could you tell Cole for me? Danny suggested I talk with you and Quinn. We're bringing a teenage girl home with us. Her name's Siobhan. She needs a family. She's a good kid. I think her kindness kept Steve alive through this ordeal. She doesn't have anyone."

Lou overheard Adam telling Quinn about Siobhan. Then he came back to the phone. "We'll be glad to take her," Adam said. "We've got the space, and Olivia really wants a sister."

"Great. Thanks, Adam. Of course, we'll have to get CPS involved when we get her back there. I'll let you know when we're heading home."

Lou hung up the call, turned off the light, and lay down on his bed. Before he fell asleep, he thought about everything he had read in Steve's journal. He was glad Steve had Sammy. A child was a good reason to push through grief and find a way back to happiness.

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August 22, 2021

Steve's nightmares came every time he slept. Over and over, he watched Catherine fall after Sullivan's bullet hit her in the head. Each time he would wake up gasping for breath, terrified that he was back on the chain. Sometimes he dreamt about Sullivan beating him or discovering that his leg was gone or getting branded, but most of his dreams were about the moment he lost the woman he loved.

Sometimes he woke up wishing that he could just die and be with Catherine. Sammy was safe with Danny. He would grow up happy. He would be loved. Steve didn't know how to be a father. Danny did.

Every time the nurse came in to check his vitals, he closed his eyes. He didn't want to interact with anyone. He had avoided eye contact with everyone today, even Lou, Junior, Bradley, and Doug.

They had come in with kind words and taken his hand and given him their condolences. They didn't understand that it was his fault Catherine was dead. They didn't know that his guilt was crushing him.

The only people Steve would communicate with were Danny and Ralph. "I hurt so bad," he told them. "I just want to die." He wasn't talking about physical pain. That was bad, but the grief was worse.

Danny put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, I know you're hurting. You're grieving. Don't you dare make me tell Sammy that you abandoned him. Because that's what you'll be doing if you give up. You do that, and Sullivan and Kincaid win. Sammy needs you, Steve. He likes his Uncle Danno, but he needs his daddy." He took Steve's hand. "You need help dealing with this. You need counseling."

"No," Steve said. "Just take me home."

Danny nodded. "I figured you would want that. We have to wait till the Doc says you can fly. As soon as I'm discharged, they're transferring you to the VA hospital in Wichita."

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August 23, 2021

Steve heard Sammy before he saw him. His son was crying. But when Lou came into his room and Sammy saw his daddy, he stopped crying and laughed. Lou set the baby on the bed. Steve held him close. Sammy snuggled up next to his daddy and drifted off to sleep.

"See what I mean," Danny said. "He loves you. You have to stick around for him."

Steve loved Sammy with his whole heart, but he was afraid that wouldn't be enough. He looked at Danny. "I'll try."

Danny pointed to the wheelchair. Lou helped him into it. Danny rolled over to Steve and put a hand on his shoulder. "What was it Joe always said? The only easy day was yesterday. Steve, you can do this. It's not going to be easy, but you are the strongest person I know. You have PTSD. You had it before this happened, and it's worse now. But you can get through this. You won't be alone for any of it."

Ralph arrived a few minutes later. "Steve, I'm going back home today. I want to put some things together for you. I'll bring them to you when you get back to Hawaii.

Steve grabbed Ralph's hand and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks for being here. I needed you."

Ralph ran his hand through Steve's hair. "You're going to get through this." Steve looked up at Ralph. The older man had become like a father to him, something he'd missed since Joe died.

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August 24, 2021

Danny worried about Steve. As soon as the orderly pushed his gurney outside, Steve got sweaty and pale and seemed to struggle to catch his breath. He was having another panic attack. As soon as he was in the ambulance, though, the panic attack ended.

Siobhan was flying home with Lou and Junior today. Her father's funeral was yesterday. Lou and Junior attended the burial with her so she wouldn't be alone. With Steve's permission, they were taking Sammy with them. It was too difficult for Steve and Danny to care for the baby right now, and they wouldn't allow him to stay with Steve at the VA hospital. Tani and Junior would keep Sammy. Tani was getting a nursery ready for him.

Danny wasn't able to drive. He had finally started taking the pain meds the doctor had given him. He'd been given permission to travel in the ambulance with Steve. The hospital in Wichita had agreed that he could stay with Steve. Danny had insisted on it because of Steve's depression. He was afraid to leave him alone.

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Steve was lying in his room, staring at nothing. He felt lonely. Loneliness was heavy. Steve wasn't sure he could manage the weight of it. He shouldn't have sent Sammy to Hawaii. Tani and Junior would take good care of him, but he wanted his son with him. The VA hospital wouldn't allow him to visit, though. At least they were letting Danny stay with him. Right now, Danny was sleeping because of his meds. Steve pushed his lunch tray away. He wasn't hungry.

"Did they get to Hawaii OK?" Steve asked when he heard Danny stirring. He wasn't allowed to use his phone because of his concussion.

"Yeah, they're safe," Danny said. "It's good practice for Tani and Junior — they have a baby coming in just a few months."

"How's Siobhan?"

"Good. Adam and Quinn are fostering her."

"Adam and Quinn?" Steve's forehead wrinkled.

Danny nodded. "They got married in June. They fell in love pretty quickly after Tamiko moved to Japan. They took in Quinn's ex-husband's daughter after he lost custody, and she really wants a sister. Lou says they're already talking about adopting her."

"Wow." Steve was glad for Adam and Quinn, but the news just made him feel lonelier.

Danny moved the lunch tray closer to Steve. "Hey, pal. You've got to eat. You need to gain some weight."

Steve didn't respond. He didn't really care right now.

A doctor came in. "Hello. I'm Dr. Morgan," she said briskly. She checked Steve's vitals then pulled off his sunglasses. She used her penlight to look in his eyes.

The light was way too bright. It caused a sharp pain in Steve's head. He squeezed his eyes shut before she was done. "That hurts. Stop."

She let out a short huff. "Commander, you need to cooperate with me."

"I need effective pain meds." Steve wished he could be back at Tripler with doctors who knew him. He didn't like this doctor at all. The pain meds she had ordered didn't do squat. "Listen, Dr. Morgan, I need to get back to Honolulu. My son's there. He's just a baby. He needs me." He squinted against the light. "Can I have my sunglasses back?"

The doctor slid the sunglasses back over his eyes. "You can't take that long a flight with your concussion. However, I would allow you to fly on a Medevac to San Diego. From there, you could travel by ship to Honolulu. The USNS Mercy is taking some wounded sailors and airmen back to Pearl Harbor Hickam. They would allow your friend to travel with you as your caretaker." Her voice hardened. "We certainly haven't been able to separate him from you."

"He's my brother and he's worried about me. When would we travel to San Diego?"

"You would have to go tomorrow. The ship leaves the following day."

Steve relished the idea of traveling home by sea. The movement of a ship on water was comforting to him. "Danny, you OK with that?"

"Yeah. I want to get home." Steve heard the longing in Danny's voice. He wondered what that was about. He must miss his family. It used to be, when he talked about home, he meant New Jersey. Danny had softened on Hawaii, but Steve was surprised at how eager he seemed to go back.

"OK," Steve said to Dr. Morgan. "We'll do it."

The doctor left then. Steve shook his head. "She didn't even check my stump. And she completely ignored the fact that you're in a lot of pain."

"I'll be OK," Danny said. Steve could hear the strain in his voice.

"Did you eat your lunch?" Steve couldn't tell whether his tray was empty or full.

"Nah. I'm nauseous. But I'm not the one who's underweight."

Steve waved a hand through the air. "I don't like hospital food."

"You still need to eat."

Steve groaned. "Fine. Since you won't leave me alone about it." He grabbed his fork, stuck it into the meatloaf, and took a bite. "Ugh. That's revolting." He continued eating until the meal was gone, commenting on how vile each bite tasted.

He was rewarded by the sound of Danny vomiting. It smelled awful, but it still brought a half-hearted chuckle from Steve.

◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊

Danny had a foul taste in his mouth now. He was in a lot of pain, too. He didn't feel up to going to the sink and brushing his teeth, so he just took a drink of water and swished it around. That helped. It was good to see a little bit of the old Steve emerge, even if only briefly. That's the Steve he had missed so much and desperately wanted to get back.