He left. Just like that.

No good.

Ai didn't get to see more, to get some ideas from his way of doing things. Was it worth, then, doing this anyway? It didn't matter how quick-witted she was. Everything needed some background knowledge to function. Prep time, research, having a solid idea. Even when she realized she was pregnant, she had done some research after quickly coming to the conclusion that she'd make it happen.

Improvisation only went so far when she had nothing to work with. It was always a tool for later rather than a blanket-solution. It was easier the more knowledge and practice she had, the less she had to consciously remind herself of the points to keep in mind.

An interview, for example, was harder the first times. While experienced covered most of what Ai had to look out for nowadays. Experience was a core resource that couldn't be overestimated. So now, here, Ai had to wonder what to do next.

She had experience pushing discomfort and hardship away, there was no problem in that department. She might've felt her shoulders very tense. But, almost miraculously, being around Ichigo-san and Miyako-san eased the tension enough that she could physically start discretely loosening up. There were, still, a lot of things that went unsaid between them. But Ai was still here, her children were still at school, and the gazes from Ai's bosses still released concern rather than scorn.

She couldn't truly put into words how she felt about it, what it meant in the grand scheme of things. But the warmth that they gave her was enough. It strengthened her in a way that Hachiman-san's presence did.

Comfort, maybe. Or perhaps something different, more precious.

It almost hurt her physically to have to push all these thoughts aside. She really, really wanted to have a moment. To organize her thoughts. The matter of Hikaru might've kept her awake, but as the day carried on, she felt… More at ease, in a way. Not less worried, not any less inhuman about the tie that she had once wanted to save. She… She still couldn't think straight about it. But everyone, everyone that mattered that is, seemed okay with that. Understanding.

What a beautiful thought. Ai felt like she could melt from this much… Was it love? It'd make sense, given how good it made her feel. But it felt more like it had changed somehow, like it was rawer in some way.

Or, perhaps, the one that had changed was Ai herself. And she was simply more capable of taking in such affection/care/sympathy.

It seems like I've grown stronger thanks to you.

Ai's lips twitched for a moment. She was still in control of her body, of course she was. The worst of the day had already happened. And someone like her, used to scrambling for 'power' so to speak, was fully capable of gaining confidence from that fact. So she was capable of stopping herself from smiling, because the comfort of her thoughts would actually be detrimental here. With her fellow idols still around her.

"─or that time when we shared stage with the 'twin groups'? I told one of the staff that the dress was super itchy and you didn't do anything about it!"

"Did that happen? No one told me anything."

"Oh, sure. It's not like that's not a super convenient excuse or anything."

"There were staff members of all three idol groups, Takamine. You could've spoken to one of the people working for the other groups and they just didn't say anything. You know how this business is."

"I… Well, maybe. But…"

"Did you tell Ai? I'm pretty sure she had everyone on our side memorized."

"I…"

While waiting for Ari and Meimei to return, Ichigo-san tried to soften the mood somehow. But that ended up making the girls complain about things that he hadn't done for them, or that had happened right under his nose and, because of the overall mood, he had no choice but to apologize and tell his side of the story. With this particular exchange giving the attention back to Ai, who had silently heard them out without intervening.

"I did memorize their faces, yes." Ai confirmed the boss' words with an awkward smile. "I didn't know their names or anything, I was just told to remember who was safe to approach in case something happened."

"That's…" Kyun looked a little weirded out by it, tilting her head while holding her hands crossed over her chest area. "Any particular reason?"

"Ai had a tough time putting face and name together." Miyako-san intervened. "We usually took a bit more time so she could differentiate anchors from other guests, for example, since all of you were doing well enough that there was time to spare."

"'Time to spare'?" Watanabe sounded a little amused by Miyako-san's words. "The training has always been pretty intense."

"Nothing but the best for B-Komachi." Ichigo-san scoffed to himself.

"I would like to see you going through it!" Kyun jabbed a finger at him. Not actually mad, or not in a way that Ai could perceive at least. But still raising her voice more than necessary.

"No way. I'm an old man, Kyun. Do you seriously want to go through the psychological damage of seeing me do idol poses and blowing kisses at people? I'm not paying for that therapist."

"That's…" Kyun looked away like she had just realized how dangerous (?) her idea was. "Okay, I understand that part."

"Ummm, you were saying?" Takamine spoke to Miyako-san, even though she stared at Ichigo-san weirdly. Probably imagining the man going to one piece of B-Komachi's choreography or something.

Ai did, for a moment. It was kind of awful. She didn't mean to use her second chance at living for this, why would Kyun put that image in people's minds? Was this the face of evil?

"Just that. Ai needed special support, so we gave her that support. Just like how we asked some of your instructors to speed up for Nanase in her time, or how some of the starting training was skipped for Ari." Miyako-san stared at her nails while speaking, sounding very casual about being capable of recalling all that info.

"Who replaced Nanase, again?" Ai didn't remember that name. But it felt like this question would be better received than openly admitting to not remembering one of the previous B-Komachi members.

Did she care for the girl?

"Me." Kyun pointed at herself, clearing the budding question in Ai's mind.

"Ah, right." No. She did not. She'd rather have Kyun, if her lack of memories for that girl was any indication.

Was this bad of her? Did Ai's darkened heart permeate her relationships even then? Before she even knew how deeply it ran?

No. Even someone like Hachiman-san admitted to not caring about people equally. Ai would probably find it a little hard to endure it if he did, actually. To think that she was the same as everyone else in his eyes. Just like she found it just a tiny bit hard to endure being around her fellow idols and being treated coldly. It just… It wasn't supposed to be like that.

But that wasn't the point. The point was that she wasn't doing anything wrong, that it was normal. And that she could admit that. It wasn't her lack of ability to love, but a natural part of life. And she was no less human for it.

Ai slowly released the breath that she had unwittingly held through her nose. Making an effort to appear to be breathing normally.

"Last time I checked, she fell off and became semi-relevant for dating a guy playing the guitar in a band." Ichigo-san scratched his chin before shrugging.

"Wasn't that, like, four years ago?" Watanabe asked, seemingly already knowing the piece of info too.

"Three." Miyako-san corrected her.

"I thought some of you would be in contact with her." Ai spoke up, although the idea applied to every other ex-member of B-Komachi. She had this scenario in her head where the girls still talked to the ex-members. Everyone except for Ai, but even she wondered if that could be possible. Because logic dictated otherwise.

"When? Our schedules have always been packed." Watanabe shook her head. "Sometimes I barely have time for my friends."

"Oh? You have─wait, wrong phrasing…" Ai managed to shut herself up before she could say something outrageous, making a faux-serious expression to let the girls know that she hadn't wanted to sound mean. Like she was trying to be funny but failed. "How is it? Having friends out of the job."

Ari and Meimei entered the room as Ai finished her sentence, making the two girls stop in their tracks in shock. They looked at each other for a moment, and Meimei finished closing the door behind herself slowly. Like she hadn't fully recovered from the mental blow from Ai's words.

"How…" Takamine intertwined her fingers in front of her belly, awkwardly trying to find a way to express herself.

Ai waited for it.

"That sounds so lonely!" Kyun went ahead and hugged Ai so tightly that the bone within Kyun's cheek actually dug into the side of Ai's head a little. "Say it differently! Ask the question in a way that doesn't give me depression!"

Lonely? It was. This was why Ai never asked things in the proper way. She just had this wild idea that, maybe, things could be a little better if she gave this much space for them to understand. But maybe she was shooting herself in the foot. Maybe one thing would lead to the other and she'd be forced to reveal things that she didn't want to. Things that she wasn't ready to reveal.

Hikaru's pleading face appeared in her mind, driving Ai a little 'looser' in how she perceived her surroundings. And 'tighter' on how she perceived herself. She had to cut this off, count her loses and retreat before she could endanger her children with such a stupid mistake. She had to─

"Well, Ai's been vocal about how much idol work has warped her life." Ari spoke up, talking to the air. Or, rather, not meeting anyone's eyes. Dodging everyone's gazes. She was still changed. Irradiated, in a way. Tainted by the bad things that Ai unwittingly brought out in people. "Do you girls keep as big a social circle as before?"

"I… My best friends are still with me." Takamine dodged the question, scratching the side of her left arm while looking away.

"…Friends come and go." Watanabe replied without much energy.

"I do." Meimei kept close to Ari and bumped her hip against the green-haired idol's own. Getting a small smile before Ari looked away again.

"I… Thought all of you were super popular and stuff." Ai took the reins again, pushing the topic away from herself. Narrowly avoiding doing something more drastic.

"Oh, I am." Watanabe was a little too quick to reply. "Just, y'know. It's usually because people wanna boast of being close to an idol and stuff."

"That happens a lot." Kyun chimed in, now that the matter of friendship was behind them. "Like, a lot. Boys, girls… Only difference is what kind of tie they want. But it's all the same."

"It's pretty hard to find people that see you as a person." Ari murmured, and Ai was ready for the girl to exchange a meaningful glance with her. But no such a thing happened. Ari was too lost in her own thoughts to give Ai the satisfaction.

"That's…" Ichigo-san looked a little sad, but Ai knew that the man was working to push those feelings away. To appear unbothered by it. "The price to pay for fame, I suppose."

"And the creeps." Watanabe scoffed.

"I… Still want to be on Nino's side, not gonna lie." Ai mimicked the way Takamine had appeared shyly trying to push the topic of friendship into something comfortable. Given that the girls seemed to accept her opinion and didn't push her to say things that she found uncomfortable. Maybe Ai would be able to say her piece without opposition too. "She has issues, but maybe they're things that…"

"I was thinking about 'the guy', y'know." Watanabe scoffed, and Ai's thoughts died in her mouth when she realized what the brunette was talking about.

For a moment, Ai considered telling Watanabe how little she knew about what was happening. But that'd have threatened her family, and probably Hachiman-san's too.

She'd rather keep what she cherished safe, rather than well-received by the outside world.

"He… Saved my life." Ai protested weakly, looking to the adults for support.

"Guy's an ass." Miyako-san stated with so little interest that Ai almost visibly got offended. She tightened her expression, but managed to keep her reaction in as Miyako-san swept the room to gauge everyone's reaction. "But I told you since the beginning: Wanna know what's up? Go talk to him yourself."

Ichigo-san just nodded, but the visible worry in his posture didn't help the point at all.

"Are you sure you aren't being too lax about him?" Takamine actually looked just as worried as the boss. "I mean, I don't want to say that you don't know what you're doing but…"

Ai exchanged a glance with Ari. The green-haired idol moved her lips like she was whistling, although no sound came from between them.

"He could be aiming for something." Watanabe seemed to agree.

"Everyone wants something at all times." Miyako-san tilted her head, disappointed. "It's kind of what makes business lift off."

"You know what I mean!"

"Why does it matter anyway?" Kyun asked like she hadn't been in cohorts with Ari and Ai to go spy on Hachiman-san at some point. "We're in an unofficial break. Let Ai mingle with the masses for a bit."

"We just had one of us turn out to be a dangerous creep." Watanabe hissed back at her fellow idol.

"Again, I want to believe that there were reasons─"

"Even if that was the case," Meimei interrupted Ai. "Nino could've hurt Ari really badly. And she should be held accountable for it."

Ai shut up.

"Given that he'll be mounted on a stake if people get wind that he saved Ai's life," Miyako-san spoke up again, a little exasperated. "I'm pretty sure it's in his best interest to play fair."

"He's been very much more than that." Ai murmured without thinking.

"Oh?" Kyun perked up at the slip. "Details?"

"You shouldn't be talking about this here." Ichigo-san reminded everyone, annoyed.

"Oh, c'mon big boss. You're here, literally no one will barge in without asking for permission first." Kyun grinned at Ichigo-san. "What? A guy you picked up from the streets gets more trust than us? Please!"

Ichigo-san looked even more annoyed and silently passed the ability to decide back to Ai.

She didn't want to tell the girls about it, actually. Not now.

"He's been super patient with how dumb I can be." Ai stated neutrally, giving the girls a demure smile that made Takamine worry even more for some reason. "And I appreciate that a lot."

"Ai…" Takamine still couldn't articulate her words right, so she just let her name hang in the air like that.

"That's… It? Patience?" Kyun didn't seem to get it, but how could Ai convey her situation without revealing too much? How could she possibly explain what Hachiman-san meant to her, when such thoughts were still not completely clear to Ai herself.

"He let me borrow money the other day." Meimei pointed out.

"R-Right…" Even Watanabe seemed a little lost now. "Ari?"

"Hmm?"

"Thoughts?"

"I want a crepe."

"About 'the guy', Ari." Watanabe glared at the green-haired girl.

"I think we're family." Ari replied absent-mindedly.

WHAT?!

"Huh?!"

"Kidding." Ari said, expression as deadpan as her voice. "But I told the police that, so I've been trying to figure out what sounds the most plausible."

"Cousin." Kyun stated immediately, getting everyone but Miyako-san to look at her weirdly. "What? It works."

"It does." Miyako-san nodded without contextualizing what they were talking about. "Had a friend once with her 'cousin' always close by. She got pregnant and dropped out of college."

Oh. Oh…

"Miyako-san!" Ai protested, not very angry but still feeling like she should be.

"What? That happened, and Kyun's right. It's a little overused nowadays, but it works."

"What are you even teaching my idols?" Ichigo-san sounded more disappointed than angry at his wife.

"For the record, I know this guy because of Ai." Ari sounded very annoyed at Miyako-san. Probably the most Ai had heard her before, never mind how subdued she'd been thus far.

"They're not twelve, Ichigo. They probably have a lot more tricks than I had in my time." Miyako-san pointedly addressed everyone in the room, giving them a look that said in no-uncertain terms that she just knew. What she knew? Ai didn't know, but it felt like Miyako-san was pointing an imaginary finger at everyone.

"You did land a -future- super successful business man." Ai pointed out, safe in the knowledge that Miyako-san actually knew her secrets but wouldn't tell. So she didn't have to deal with the unspoken accusation like everyone else did.

"Ai!" Ichigo-san sounded downright scandalized by his daughter's words.

"It's the truth!"

"Ai, please." Miyako-san sounded very amused instead. "Let Ichigo save some face in front of his employees."

"I'm leaving. I'm leaving." Ichigo-san seemed to have hit his limit and moved to get to the door. "You're all dismissed. Go practice dancing or something, I don't care."

"Wait. What about Nino-chan?" Takamine interjected, making the bubble of wholesomeness that everyone was trying to maintain pop.

Ichigo-san gave them all his back for a bit, before sighing and turning around to address the room.

"Listen, I'd love to say that this is the kind of thing we've kept tipping the scale in Ai's favor all this time… But that'd be a lie. I don't feel responsible for what happened with Nino, I actually don't. But I do understand that I failed to notice the tells that something was wrong. I did know that her mom has always been a little too pushy with her, too entangled in the work. But I never thought much of it." Ichigo-san sighed again, scratching the back of his head thoughtlessly. Looking more like a random man that Ai would've found on the street rather than the boss of a successful entertainment company. Weak, pathetic. The man that a twelve years-old Ai met was fed by, once upon a time.

"We're figuring out a way to help Nino a bit, because I'm pretty sure a woman like that won't react well to Nino's termination." Miyako-san stated, arms crossed and expression cold. "But her problems already pushed her from a victim to an aggressor. And we can't ignore the fact either. We might've neglected to show it, but we'll support you girls if you need us. Inefficiently, maybe. But you're not alone."

Ai nodded along, going for standing beside Ichigo-san as if pulled by an invisible force. It felt like that was where she should be, like he'd appreciate it. But Miyako-san stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder.

"If you don't trust us, trust that Ai here would hate to think that she's making you miserable. And she's pretty convincing when she wants something."

Ai looked at Miyako-san for a moment before looking at the other idols, varying reactions ending up in a group of girls studying Ai like she was a stranger.

In a way, she was. But she still wanted them to know that she cared, that she wanted to be close to them. That she wanted to love them.

"I want us to be happy together." She stated, not really know what else to say.

"That was kind of cool." Kyun murmured.

"If you had said it with a kabedon, my heart might've skipped a beat." Ari nodded, reminding Ai of something that she had meant to ask for a while.

"Really?" Ai asked instead, deciding that she'd rather ask her question privately.

"Yeah, you're cute enough to pull it off." Ari nodded, earning herself a momentary glare from Meimei.

Ai looked at her own hands.

"I might need to try it."

"Ai." Takamine spoke up. "Please, don't tag along weird people. We're serious here. I don't think that guy is any good."

Ai smiled at her, because she found her words very funny.

"Ai~ don't throw away my words, please!" Takamine insisted. And it seemed like this was over, given that Ichigo-san and Miyako-san did start leaving now. "He might try something weird!"

"Weird?" Now, that was a thought. What did Takamine think would be weird? Trying to tape Ai to the wall, maybe?

"Like… Like…" Takamine became tomato red, unable to speak up. "Like, indecent things… And stuff…"

Ai couldn't help the heat that came to her face when she heard that. She wasn't thinking anything! Not at all! Her mind was completely crystal clear, so much so that she didn't hear Ichigo-san stopping by the door. Waiting for her reaction.

"I..." There were a lot of ways to react. Honestly, Ai didn't expect how up-front Takamine was. Although she didn't expect the girl to be so… Weird about it. Was this embarrassment? It was! Hachiman-san was just as cute about it. Which only made it harder for Ai to keep a level head. "I'll be on the lookout for it, don't worry."

"That…" Takamine also didn't seem to know how to react. Much less when Ari let out a chocked cackle for a moment. "That's not…"

"Takamine." Ichigo-san growled, making the girl stand to attention.

"…Yes." Takamine quickly went after Ichigo-san, leaving Ai with her unbecoming fantasies.

Ari walked by, giving Ai a thumbs up without saying anything else.

Ai stopped her for a moment.

"…?"

"Hey, I meant to ask before… And it's okay if you don't want to answer." Ai got close to the green-haired girl, speaking in a hushed tone before Kyun could get the idea of coming to gossip with them.

"Are you and Meimei dating?"

Ari's eyes became wide for a moment, before her dazed expression returned.

"What… Gave you that idea?"

"See, I feel like Meimei has been giving me hints since the photo shoot. But I'm not sure." Ai smiled apologetically. "You know what? Never mind. I'm probably being stupid again. I didn't want to─"

"We are." Ari stated, analyzing Ai's reaction.

"Oh! Is that so?" The idol couldn't help raising her voice a little. "I see!"

Ari's gaze could've shot lasers and Ai wouldn't have found it weird.

"Is that all?" Ari asked a littler rougher than necessary.

"Yeah!" Ai made a cross with her index fingers in front of her mouth. "I'm not one to scold people about secrets, so I won't bother you with it. Promise."

Ari looked around and glared at her girlfriend when she saw the exact moment when the girl slipped out of the room. Clearly escaping.

"Secrets?" Kyun had also been watching Meimei, and turned around when Ai's voice was the only sound left in the room.

"It's between Ari and I!" Ai cheerfully cut the conversation off.

"You do realize I'll figure it out sooner or later, right?" Was that a threat? It sounded like a threat. Then again, if Ai wanted to understand Kyun's words…

"Do your worst." Ari scoffed while walking out of the room.

…She was probably better off following someone else's reaction to them.

Ai smiled a little. It seemed like patience was well rewarded here. Not only because of Kyun, but because looking for the right opportunity to ask Ari about what had been bothering Ai actually turned out pretty well.

It seems like, once again, I've grown a little stronger. Thanks to you.

She could only hope that she could grow ever stronger to face the things she had run away for thus far. And that she could trust these girls when her own strength failed her. It warmed her heart to think that she could rely on people now. Even if only a bit.

Ai totally, 100% didn't keep having dirty thoughts in-between wondering what to do about Nino now. It'd be silly, given that she also had her children and Hikaru in mind.

Ai was totally not such a complex person that her mind could hold all those things at once. Or at least, she hadn't accepted herself as such.

Not yet.