Chaotic Hangouts

Chapter 17: Perfect Cell Vs KOSA

Date: October 20th, 2023

It was a nice partly cloudy and sunny day at Cell's arena. The arena, a flat area consisting of many large concrete blocks with spires on all of its 4 corners was clear of anything random. No couches, spaceships, giant creatures, toilets, bathtubs, hot tubs, bars, or anything of the sort. Just an ordinary day with Perfect Cell hanging out with his best friend Kermit the Frog in the Devil Artemis Universe. Cell stares annoyed at Kermit: "Kermit, I'm bored and tired of waiting around. Why the hell did you ask me to meet you here in my arena 30 minutes ago and why haven't you said anything?" "Cell, it's coming." "Whats coming?!" "You'll see." "God damn it, Kermit! You know I hate surprises!" "Don't worry, Cell. I promise you're going to like this surprise." "I have a bad feeling about this." I also had a bad feeling about that. Why? Because Truck-kun randomly sent me to the DAU or more specifically, to the outskirts of Cell's arena for absolutely no reason. Just as I was finishing up doing some sparring battle-royale style with fellow knights. I'm still sweaty and a bit tired from the sparring. For several minutes after that, there was complete and utter silence. And then, a paper file folder just showed up out of nowhere. Cell picks it up: "Kermit, what the hell is this supposed to be? *reads it* The f*c* is KOSA?! What have you done?!" "Open it, Cell. Open it." "*sigh* Fine. Only because I want to know what the hell is going on!" The android opens it or rather, he attempts to: "Kermit, it's not opening! Why is it not opening?!" "I have no idea, Cell. Maybe it wasn't meant to be opened." I recognize KOSA as an abbreviation of something pure evil from my timeline.

That's when it hits me. I mutter to myself: "So this is my first adventure in a while involving some kind of chaotic hangout.. Just great.. I already know that KOSA is the same one that I'm afraid of becoming a thing in my universe now that I have made this realization.." As Kermit and Cell continue to exchange dialogue over the KOSA thing, I stepped onto Cell's arena, realizing I have no choice but to explain what KOSA is to Cell because the fandangled thing won't open. Cell is getting angry, both at Kermit and it. The soft clinking of my armor gets their attention. Cell stops yelling, turns around, and exclaims: "Okay, who in the hell are you?! Do you have something to do with whatever the crap is inside of this paper folder?!" Kermit adds: "Awesome! The other surprise is here!" "The other surprise?! KERMIT!" "..So, are you the reason Truck-kun sent me here? Well, I'm honestly not surprised. Don't mind me if you smell my sweat. Despite a odorless odor eliminating substance I use often, it seems that it cannot defeat the smell caused by sweat. Oh well." "..WHAT THE HELL KIND OF INTRODUCTION IS THAT?!" "Well, I didn't exactly expect to be sent to the Devil Artemis Universe. I knew it was going to happen someday but I didn't expect the when or how of it. My apologies for that being my introduction. It was neither logical or knightly of me. I just came here after engaging in one hell of a sparring session. You're Perfect Cell and Kermit. It's nice to meet you. I'm Swiftdrawer. I serve no lord, king, god, or what have you. I only serve the people as a knight who defends the innocent, protects space-time, and so on."

Kermit smirks: "I knew contacting Truck-kun to bring you here was the right move!" "..KERMIT! Will someone please explain to me what the point of any of this has been?! Furthermore, I'd like to know what's inside this damn folder!" "I have a bad feeling about that folder. This is the Devil Artemis Universe.. If KOSA stands for what I think it stands for.. The DAU is absolutely doomed." "WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT KOSA THAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT IT WILL DESTROY THE DAU AND MY CHANNEL ALONG WITH IT?!" "KOSA, the Kids Online Safety Act is a bill introduced a number of times to the legislature of the United States. They say it's meant to protect children. The name implies that. However, it's not that simple. *something unbeknownst to us starts changing in the folder*" "And what the f*c* is that supposed to mean?!" "Well.. If passed, it will create harm that goes beyond anything words can describe. It will give attorney generals of states the power to be arbiters of what is considered safe content for kids online. The US is a country that is currently veering on the edge of becoming a fascist state due to the inaction of the Democrats and the Nazi rhetoric of the Republicans. One of the main sponsors of the bill stated publicly that the bill is intended to get rid of queer content online. It would cause things like age verification to be put in so many places online, causing a mass invasion of privacy in the process."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS USA YOU SPEAK OF?!" "Way too much. Way too much. Age verification stuff could include taking pictures of one's state ID to be allowed to proceed into whatever site they want to visit. I've had to do that a few times already. It's a load of crap. But that's not all." "THERES MORE?! DEAR GOD!" "If the bill passes, it will punish platforms for what users post on them. That doesn't just include things like adult content as I implied earlier. The Republicans have worked to make any queer content get labeled adult content online and they spread rhetoric about pornography being bad for people." "WHAT?!" Zarbon appears. He has light blue skin, jewelry around his forehead, long green hair, lime green eyes, a blue cape, lavender cloth around his lower arms, and the typical uniform for members of the Frieza Force. "Did someone just say some people spread rhetoric about pornography being bad? Oh no, that won't do." "ZARBON, STOP TALKING BEFORE YOU MAKE US ALL LOOK BAD!" "Oh Cell, I'm not going to say anything naughty. Not this time." "I have a bad feeling about that. Zarbon, hi, nice to meet you. But before you say anything, I'd like to continue explaining KOSA." "Hold on there.. Oh my.. Is that folder of papers transforming?! It almost turns me-" "ENOUGH ZARBON! KERMIT, WHY ARE YOU BEING ODDLY SILENT? KERMIT?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Kermit returns with a bucket of popcorn and starts eating it. "Anyone want some popcorn?" "Oh my, what is that popcorn covered in?" "KERMIT! ZARBON!"

"I'm not surprised at this point. I'll just wait until I can explain more relating to KOSA. After all, the fact that the folder is transforming is a very bad sign. *draws sword* I can't afford to laugh right now about the absurdity of this situation. This is serious because KOSA is a serious problem." I just watch the folder transform. Seconds later, it finishes transforming into a white man with blue eyes, long blonde hair, a MAGA hat, and a "star spangled" suit and tie. Zarbon exclaims: "Oh my, the folder has transformed into a hot man!" "What the hell?!" "It's all going as expected." "..Okay, I didn't see this coming. Kermit.. Your words are alarming.. Did you plan all of this out? But why?" All For One appears in the sky: "Because I manipulated him into causing all of these things to happen as part of my latest devastating and evil plan but this time with revenge in mind!" "But then, why did it involve my being summoned here?!" "Your destruction at the hands of KOSA through the cancellation of the Devil Artemis Universe will send a message to all realities." "ALL FOR ONE, YOU BASTARD! WE STOPPED YOU AND YOUR LEAGUE OF MEMES!" "That's what you thought. But did you know that memes can never truly die as long as they remain on the internet?" Ugandan Knuckles comes in: "EBOOOOOOOOLA!" "Are we not going to acknowledge KOSA now? This is just like what people are doing back in my universe. Completely ignoring or choosing to disregard KOSA even though it poses a serious threat to online privacy, marginalized people, and more while wrapped in the false pretense of protecting children online." All For One laughs as Uganda Knuckles leaves: "Oh don't worry, I'm going to watch from up above as the Devil Artemis Universe along with you is cancelled by KOSA. Farewell! My revenge is now complete!"

KOSA starts speaking after All For One goes higher into the air: "We will eradicate transgenderism from modern life. The woke agenda will be stopped at all costs. The woke mob will be destroyed. The internet will be cleansed of all sinful content such as homosexuality and trans ideology. I will save America from wokeism. Anyone who opposes me will be punished. This Devil Artemis Universe contains homosexual content. Therefore, I must eliminate it." "WHAT THE F*C*!!! DAMN YOU! IM NOT GOING TO PLAY AROUND!" Cell transforms into Golden Cell. Kermit sighs and throws his bucket of popcorn out of reach: "Damn you, All For One! It's your fault that I made some bad decisions. Go, Super Froggy Blue!" Kermit gains a whole lot of height and muscle mass as he grows blue hair and a blue aura surrounds him. I hang back, more inclined to wait and see what KOSA does than charge head on. If I still had blood in my body, it would be boiling due to KOSA. I'm angry but I'm composed about my feelings. "Kermit! Let's destroy KOSA!" "I'm with you, Cell!" KOSA calmly smirks: "Against the free spirit of true Americans, you stand no chance. I will eradicate you first since you chose to use terrorism against me by attacking me unprovoked!" "*unison* KAAAAAAAAME HAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The 2 friends unleash 2 Kamehameha blasts at the same time. They destroy KOSA in an instant. However, KOSA just comes right back, completely unharmed. "HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?!" "It was a trivial matter. With my Bipartisan support, dark money, and sponsors, I can't be destroyed by the likes of you woke moralists!"

"Should have known. You can't just kill an idea. The concept of KOSA is something supported by a lot of people in power in my universe. Damn it. An idea is harder to destroy than even someone like me. I'm already dead and my armor can withstand an incredible amount of force assuming the force is being applied to each square inch of it equally.. A bill like KOSA can only be stopped by the physical and virtual destruction of it, it's defeat in the legislative branch, or rejection by the president of the United States. Because it has bipartisan support, the chances of it passing are very high." "STOP THINKING OUT LOUD AND HELP US WITH TAHT SWORD OF YOURS!" "Cell, I would help you but my strength wouldn't make a dent. You two have power levels far exceeding my own. I can devastate an ordinary modern army on my own for a good while at this point. But KOSA is too powerful for me to vanquish alone and we don't have time to cause KOSA to be defeated in the US legislature not to mention my universe is virtually immune to all tampering from the outside. We'd need millions of people to get it defeated in the likes of my universe. But, there isn't any time. At any moment, KOSA could very well cancel the DAU after destroying all of us present." "THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!" "The only weapon we can use is our imaginations. But not even my Artist's Eye can conjure something powerful enough to help us. After all, KOSA is an idea shared by a lot of people. And I'm only one knight, one person. We'd need an idea shared by a lot of people to stop KOSA and save the DAU." "I wonder, do we have any ideas in the DAU that are as powerful as KOSA?" "I have finished my scan of the DAU. And now, you will be eradicated just as I promised." "So THATS why nothing happened after we failed to stop you, KOSA. Damn it!"

"I will now begin eradicating you all." KOSA raises its right hand and begins to charge up some kind of attack. But then, a group came from up above in the sky. A team of individuals wearing identical outfits designed to be about protecting people from the Republicans. They land on Cell's arena. Right as KOSA fires, they form a force field to nullify KOSA's attack. KOSA looks mad: "Who are you and why have you chosen to stand in my way?!" One of them steps forward: "I am Issue 1, to be voted on in November 2023 by the citizens of Ohio. If passed, abortion rights will be protected in the state of Ohio." Another steps forward: "I am the proposed Equal Rights Amendment to the United States constitution." Cell just stares with his mouth wide open. Kermit shakes his head: "Only in the DAU would something like this happen." "Well, several ideas are usually more powerful than just one. I guess this is how it's going to be. Also, people who are reading this entire situation as part of a crossover Fanfiction story I've been working on called Chaotic Hangouts." "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO?!" I ignore Cell: "If you live in the state of Ohio, vote yes on Issue 1 in November 2023 which is next month for me at this time. The signs that say vote no claim that voting no would protect children and parental rights. But that's not so. I don't recall hearing of any parental rights movements. Banning abortion does nothing for children who have already been born. An unborn child is not classified in the same way and has no real life so to speak. Banning abortion would mean a married woman who was raped by her husband for example would have to carry a baby to term even if that would cost her her life. Does that sound like a parental right to you?"

I add: "I made the poor choice of not registering to vote in Ohio which I am a resident of in my other body before the 30 day deadline. As a result, I won't be able to vote yes on Issue 1. But you must vote yes if you do live in Ohio. Don't make the same mistakes I've made. Go out there and vote yes on Issue 1. Even if you aren't able to get pregnant or are retired, vote yes. Why? Because not everyone can afford to give birth to and raise a child. Children are expensive. Let's also not forget the fact that pregnancy is a long process that involves a lot of strain and sacrifice. Childbirth is one of the most painful experiences recorded by humanity. There's also the morning sicknesses, increased appetite, increased vulnerability, and other things that come with pregnancy. And the risk of miscarriage, a tragedy that creates a pain I will never truly understand as a gay and non binary individual. Banning abortion isn't about freedom. It's about control. Child and arranged marriages still happen even in the United States. Rape is a crime that often goes unreported and/or unpunished. Let's also not forget that those who oppose Issue 1 are often those who also despise people like me for our identities. In states where anti-trans bans are in place, there strikingly is a higher rate of searches for trans porn. Opposition for Issue 1 in Ohio and the efforts to pass KOSA are 100% related and interconnected. So while time continues to be frozen Film Noir style around me as I just finally managed to notice, I'm going to wrap this up. Please vote yes on Issue 1 in Ohio. Seriously, you might as well call yourself a do-gooder and everyday hero if you do. That is all I have to say. Please lend me your eyes and brain noises for the rest of this Chaotic Hangouts chapter."

Time resumes and now, the group who showed up are fighting KOSA. Cell looks on in awe: "They're doing it! They're resisting KOSA!" Kermit nods: "Indeed they are." All For One grunts: "They're getting in the way of my revenge. I will not allow this to stand. I'll join the battle to not just even the odds. I will bring KOSA to victory with my powers. My evil and devastating plan has been changed. And now, it will succeed for certain with the changes that are about to be made." Ugandan Knuckles returns and transforms after flying to face All For One: "EBOOOOOOLA!" Ultimate Shaggy(DAU version) appears and goes Ultra Instinct: "Like man, we won't allow you to do anymore bad. You used us and now, you're going to get it. It's time for you to get what you deserve. And I'll only need to use 1% of my power." "Hahahaha! You think you can stop me?! You fools! I'll crush you all in an instant!" Shallot, a black haired Saiyan in a blue outfit with a tail, black eyes, and light skin appears before going Ultra Instinct too: "I can't believe I'm about to fight alongside Shaggy but here we are. You're done, All For One!" An armored Miss Piggy appears too in pink armor, wielding a sword of her own: "Even I won't let your actions stand, All For One!" And then, a big t-rex named Rex appears: "FIGHT ME!" Roshi comes in on a Flying Nimbus: "Hehe, I can't afford to miss out on this action! Sign me up!" Mickey Mouse and Goofy are next to show up. Mickey pulls a gun on All For One: "You still owe me for that little favor a while ago. Listen, pal. If you don't pay up now, I'm going to kill you!"

Cooler comes in in Golden Form. Cell exclaims: "Pump Daddy C is here!" Cooler speaks: "It seems someone who isn't cool is trying to cancel the DAU. I'm here to help put a stop to that." Piccolo, Trunks, Frieza, Vegeta, Goku, Gohan, Bulma, and Android 21 show up as well. All For One staggers: "Impossible! How is this happening?" Frieza smirks: "You'll now regret f*c*i*g with the whole entire DAU. I don't know how you came back but you won't be around for much longer!" In moments, it was over. KOSA was reverted to a file folder and vanished. All For One was pulverized. The group from before disappeared without a trace. I sigh in relief: "Well, that's the end of this chaotic hangout. Time to return to Miitopia. I got work to do. So much paperwork. Why do we still have to use paperwork anyway? Oh well. Once Mii World can fully exist in harmony without any government, the paperwork will be ended." I proceed to teleport back but have second thoughts. I could use my being here as a chance to recruit more fellow sentient life forms for the BRAINS Collective. Kermit alone would be a highly valuable ally to have. "On second thought, I'm going to stick around for a little bit. Anyone care to know a closely guarded secret?" I'm completely ignored as banter and arguments begins amongst everyone who is still around. "FIGHT ME!" "Cooler! For the last time, I'm so much cooler than you!" "But you're the one who has no friends." "Shut up!" Mickey points his gun at Cell: "Listen Cell, I want my money. Give it and we have a truce. Don't and I'll shoot you where you stand." "HELL NO!" I sigh: "I hate arguments and disputes. I could just calmly watch them and analyze them. But I still don't like them. After all, understanding something doesn't mean you have to like that something. Wait, what is this feeling in my throat? It's not nothing. It's the start of a sickness. Damn it!"

I consider pulling out some fruit punch filled with lots of Vitamin C from my ender pouch. I do so and down about 500 mL of it before putting it back. This eases my throat but I knew something still wasn't right. "I got sick in my other body recently. It started the same exact way. I'm sick for the first time in forever in this body. Damn it, damn it. What the hell did I catch? I should have worn a face mask even when training with my comrades earlier." The conflicts around me continue and I try to return to Miitopia after giving up on recruiting. "Crap. Why isn't this working? I want to go now! Let me out! I can come back to the DAU practically whenever I want to but I don't want to stay here any longer." Suddenly, what I was feeling came back with a vengeance. It evolved into a sore throat and before long, I started to sweat heavily under my armor. Congestion and headaches came in too. I was forced to take off my helmet. But like a costumer overheating, I was unable to do enough to stop my sweating. And I passed out. When I woke up, I found myself in a hospital bed, stripped of my armor and gear. I felt so tired. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and sleep. Cell exclaims: "THANK god you're awake!" My throat hurts so much that I didn't want to talk. But I've endured far worse so I force myself to speak: "I get the picture. I got sick and passed out for a while. How does illness affect a zombie anyway? I'm a zombie so.." "YOURE A ZOMBIE?! BUT YOU DONT EVEN LOOK LIKE ONE!" "I've been dead for 2 months, not including the game time of the death game my mind was trapped in. Ugh. I'm so tired. I have never been this sick in this body.. Leave me alone.."

I feel asleep. When I woke up again, I saw a party happening around me. Roshi, Cell, Broly, Carlos, and more were dancing around. I blinked once. I blinked twice. I wasn't seeing things. This was really happening. I hurt my throat to yell loud enough to be heard over the music: "Who decided it was a good idea to have a dance party in my hospital room?!" Zarbon replies: "Oh my, the sleeping beauty is awake! Mmm, those muscles of yours.." "..I'm not going to ask. All I'm going to say is that we are on opposite ends of the gay vibes scale most of the time. I have my moments but not often." Carlos goes to my bedside and starts dragging me out of bed: "Come on, Swiftdrawer! Time to party! Get your butt up!" "Carlos. Let me rest. I'm sick. In the condition I'm in, I don't want to party or do anything of that sort. You know how I am. Please just let me rest." "No! You need to dance your sickness away!" Dominic comes over, carrying a clipboard and looks ready to bash Carlos with it: "Carlos, you can't dance illness away. It's a nap causation but it's the truth. I only came to this party to keep an eye on you and other troublemakers because you managed to make this party happen despite all of the opposition towards holding it. Leave Swiftdrawer alone." Carlos sticks his tongue out at him before continuing to drag me at him. Dominic stares at him with great intensity. Carlos in unaffected. The theme music for Duke Devil in Yugioh Abridged is playing but at high volume and full length. "This song is so dirty.. Please just let me go, Carlos. I seriously need to rest. Even I know that." Carlos persists even as Dominic starts in fact bashing him and Goofy slips on a banana peel and crashes into me. The ninja just pulls me up all over.

And DJing the party is known other than Pinkie Pie who is randomly setting off her confetti cannons. Kermit is doing karaoke to the song that's playing. I swore to the laws of physics that if there were any minors in the room.. Duke Devlin's theme continues to play. Just as it finishes, Carlos successfully gets me on my feet and I felt uncomfortable for so many reasons. I wasn't wearing my armor, there was a party in my hospital room, I'm sick, and that song just happens to be playing with Kermit's terrible singing making it really bad. And then, I hear the revving of a motorcycle as a familiar duel runner crashes into the room through the room's window. A white duel runner with a blonde haired rider who yells: "CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!" Cell yells: "What the hell?! We don't need more ridiculous Yugioh characters in the DAU! WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!" A song by Puddle Of Mudd starts playing, their song that is not appropriate for kids. And Kermit immediately began singing along with it too. I tried to return to my hospital bed but Carlos wouldn't let me. If I could use my full strength, I could have easily yanked his right arm off of me but my sickness is serious business. And all of this music was making my headaches worse not to mention my congestion worsening due to all the people in the room. I then smell a familiar smell. "Who farted?" Carlos let go of me and started holding his sides before unleashing more curse words than I ever expected him to utter in any situation. He runs out of the room. 30 seconds later, we heard a loud boom from down the hall. Again? You have got to be kidding me. I safely go back to the bed and try to sleep. But despite how tired I am, the party keeps me up.

I would have stayed in bed but they had other plans. Seto Kaiba(abridged) points at me and says: "I challenge you to a children's card game!" "No." "No? No one says no to Seto Kaiba! Screw your sickness, I have money! Duel me and you get money!" "No." "I'll make my hair green to screw your will!" "No." "Mokuba, get this duelist out of bed." "But Seto!" "Shut up Mokuba! I was talking to that other Mokuba! *points to a returning Carlos* See?" But then, Carlos holds his sides and runs off again. A few seconds later, a bigger boom is heard from down the hall. "Why can't I just be left alone to rest In peace? I get the irony since I'm already dead but seriously!" Kaiba pulls me out of bed. Cell puts a hand on him and glares: "Let the knight rest. You can challenge them to a children's card game some other day." "But Yugi has to duel me!" Yami Yugi is standing a few feet away: "Am I a joke to you?" "I am not Yugi." I yank Kaiba's arm off of me. His physical strength is nothing compared to my ninja friend's strength. It was easy to yank his arm off of me as a result. I go back to bed as Cell engages in a glaring contest with Kaiba. Yami and Kermit watch on in disappointment and amusement respectively. I return to bed. But as I lay back down, Dominic appears at my bedside with something in his right hand: "Finally. We managed to figure out what you were sickened with earlier. Nasty disease from the DAU. Had no idea even the DAU could possibly have a sickness this bad in it. This is our counter to it. What a nap causation, it took too long to make. Oh well. Swiftdrawer, hold out your right arm. It's a shot."

I get up in order to sit on the bed and nod at the scientist's words. He injects me with it and the effects are nearly instant. He explains: "This shot isn't like your ordinary vaccine. It immediately spreads and creates copies of itself much like one. However, it does what cold medicine does that but on a much faster scale. It also kills any and all traces of the illness you caught throughout your entire body in seconds. The Universal Vaccine is being updated to include the components of this specific shot at the moment. We can't allow a outbreak of disease within BRAINS." A few minutes later, I'm just standing around, trying to figure out if I want to convince the others to move the party or just return to Miitopia. I had donned my armor and so on right after I fully recovered. So now, the familiar and comfortable weight of 900 pounds of armor weighs down on me. I spot Roshi doing things with several women. That made my decision easy. I get Dominic and whoever else is still thinking rationally and not partying amongst those in attendance. We devise a plan to get the others to agree to ending the party or move it depending on how much bargaining power we have. When Michael Jackson's Thriller starts playing, I shout at the top of my lungs as Dominic stops the music: "Everyone, we need to stop this party. I feel better now. There's no point for this party anymore." Discord chuckles: "That's where you, my friend are wrong." He, Kermit, Carlos, and others attempt to gain control of the DJ booth. However, Bulma, Trunks, and Dominic weren't having it and refused to let 'em have it back. Dominic shouted: "We're all lucky that no one was infected by what Swiftdrawer caught. But this party is over!" Kermit goes Super Froggy Blue: "We'll see about that!"

Cell groans: "I'm so over this party! *Transforms into Golden Cell* KERMIT, THIS PARTY IS YOUR FAULT!" I sigh: "Good grief. This is going way too far. This whole building's going to come down in seconds at this rate. Both of you, please be calm about this. You don't have to fight over this. There are far better ways to sort this out. Let's not get rash, alright? This party needs to end or since that's not acceptable, move because we're literally in a hospital and I'm fully recovered now." Pinkie Pie exclaims: "I have like the best idea ever! Let's make more noise to annoy the security guards instead! Party on!" Cell opens his mouth and struggles to speak: "No no no! We aren't going to do that! *sirens are heard* We need to get out of here." Kermit asks: "Since when were you afraid of the police?" "Kermit, you don't understand. The police in this area are.." "Are what, Cell?" "Words cannot describe how terrifying they are. If you thought I hated Ugandan Knuckles, that's nothing compared to how terrifying the police are here.." "And what's so terrifying about the police here?" "KERMIT, THEY HAVE BS ANIME POWERS! BS ANIME POWERS!" "Well s*i, we're screwed if we don't get out of here then. Let's get out of here!" Discord grins: "Oh, don't worry about how we get out of here. I already have the perfect solution in mind!" Bulma stares at him: "And what would someone like you know about transportation?" "..Oh right, the Bulma I know isn't from the DAU. Sorry for my confusion. Just follow me, everyone!" Discord warps reality and we do in fact follow him. I did so more so out of necessity. I was reluctant to say the least. But I know he won't intentionally hurt someone who isn't evil so I went along with it.

We ended up in West City, not far from Capsule Corporation, completely forgetting to have me discharged from the hospital. Oh well. Nothing can be done now if the police in that area have BS anime powers which doesn't make sense outside of any universe that isn't the DAU as this is the DAU we are talking about. We just stand there on the sidewalk by the road. It's nighttime. Cars are coming and going. And that's when things get absurd again. Pinkie Pie's stomach grumbles. She laughs: "Hehe. I'm hungry. We should go eat somewhere!" "OH GOD, NO! IM OUTTA HERE!" Cell proceeds to begin flying off until his son, Cell Jr. speaks: "Dad, it is completely pointless for you to leave us like this. The chaos and trouble will continue to follow you for the rest of your life. Resistance is futile. Accept your fate. Once you die, you'll be cast into an eternal black void of nothingness from which there's no escape. There's no point in struggle when the Sun will eventually swallow the Earth in about 4.5 billion years." Cell opens his mouth in horror, loses his concentration, and falls from the sky. Others gain the same expression as him from hearing all of that. I hear music out of nowhere. An accordion to be precise, playing a very familiar tune. A bus shows up from out of nowhere and sticking his head out of one of its windows is Weird Al singing "Another One Rides The Bus". Reactions are mixed. Dominic and I just stare with expressions of amusement that aren't also full of surprise. Cell gasps: "Oh no.. This day just keeps getting worse.." Cooler laughs: "Embrace it, Cell. You'll become cooler by doing so."

"Hell no! I don't want to! I don't want to!" The banter is interrupted by a lot of stomachs grumbling: mine included. I sigh: "It's no surprise I'm hungry. I'm a knight so my appetite has ended up becoming really large. I may have said that it hasn't in my own writings like a forgetful doofus but it's true. With how much strength I have and how intense battles and training get, it's no wonder. I haven't had anything to eat in many hours." Carlos exclaims: "Let's go to LaRosa's!" "What a nap causation. Do they even have LaRosa's in the DAU?" "..Damn it, Carlos. You just had to suggest my favorite restaurant. Are you trying to torment every notable place related to food in the Greater Cincinnati area now?! First, it was Jungle Jim's then it was Skyline Chili. Let's not talk about what you did with the hot sauce and the oyster crackers at Skyline.. Oh and let's not forget Graters. You gave yourself the longest brain freeze ever recorded amongst our friends and allies. I say let's not go to my favorite restaurant. Let's go to Denny's where absolutely nothing bad will happen because it isn't a place Carlos suggested." "LAROSAS!" "Denny's." "LAROSAS!" "Denny's." "LAROSAS!" "Denny's." "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BOTH OF YOU. SHUT THE HELL UP!" Weird Al waves at us as the bus comes to a stop while he continues singing. I'm forced to concede to Carlos. We all get on the bus for reasons even I still don't understand. We just did. Bad move. Once the doors of the bus close, we are immediately entertained with live entertainment after someone told the driver to take us to LaRosa's. I started hearing the intro to a Lady Gaga song. Bad Romance. And it took 2 seconds before it dawned on me that Bad Romance wasn't what was being played.

"Woah woah woah oh ho let's take his leather pants." And then came in Marik wearing clothing that made Zarbon make noises and Yami Bakura just looking grumpy. Oh and there were floating pairs of leather pants too. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! KERMIT, I BLAME YOU FOR ALL THIS NONSENSE!" "Cell, it wasn't me this time. This is the DAU, remember?!" "Of course I remember!" Pinkie Pie starts dancing along to the song while also launching her party cannons and engaging in antics alongside Weird Al. Carlos just sat there eating popcorn from who knows where. He probably snatched it from a movie theater owned by a greedy corporation or something. It wasn't long until the bus ride was over. After a few more musical numbers and the excitement of free falling inside a bus, we arrived at LaRosa's. Or more specifically, LaRosa's at the Festhaus at Kings Island. I look around: "Are you kidding me?! Why THIS ONE?! This is a big building that also houses a stage, bathrooms, and a Panda Express. It was built after the removal of the Rotor, a ride that used centrifugal force to pin riders to the walls. Welcome to Kings Island I guess. Driver, don't you dare leave us here! Can we please go to a location where there isn't hundreds of people to absolutely mess around with?" The driver shakes their head no. I give them a menacing glare, exposing my inner darkness a little bit in the process. They relent and we arrive at the original LaRosa's Boudinot location 5 seconds later. We all get off and the bus departs with Weird Al waving at us again. "Welcome to the original LaRosa's location. It originally opened in 1954 under the name Papa Gino's. Since then, it has burnt down, been rebuilt, and received remodeling several times."

We all walk in together. It took some time for us all to get in the lobby of the restaurant on account of the 2 sets of door we had to enter through. Nothing bad has happened so far. Being most familiar with LaRosa's by miles, I led the others inside. There, an employee dressed in a LaRosa's shirt said: "Welcome to LaRosa's. How many are in your party?" I look back, attempt to count but eventually give up: "Can we just get the party room? Our group is.. rather large." "Sure thing! Follow me." I nod and follow them. The others follow me. We sit down at the long table in the party room. The employee makes sure we have utensils and menus before leaving us be. Zarbon speaks: "So this is a pizzeria. Oh, I bet I'd love their white sauce.." "ZARBON!" "..If anyone but Zarbon said that, it would have been fine. Well, I already know what I want." Tsuande(DAU) exclaims: "What's this spaghetti dinner they are offering?!" I look for it on my copy of the menu and it's in fact there. "Tsunade, you just opened up Pandora's Box. Oh boy.. Saiyans, memes, miis, humans, and other strong beings gathered in one restaurant.." Carlos yells: "I want the spaghetti dinner!" "Oh no.." A waiter appears a few seconds later. "Hello there, everyone. My name is Thomas and I'm going to be taking care of you tonight. Would you like to start with drinks or are you all ready to order?" "Aye, let's start with drinks. I'm surprised you aren't fazed by our less than ordinary appearances." "After all that I've seen, nothing surprises me." "I feel that.. I'd like water." "Okay." And then.. "Give me some sakė!" "I'd like some cream soda." "ZARBON!" Once our drink orders are taken, Thomas leaves to start getting them for us.

I say: "Well, we're going to be here a while. Aren't we? LaRosa's does not possess the ability to satisfy all of our appetites without it taking 2 hours or more to cook all of it. Hell, not even CiCi's or any fast food restaurant could either. Could we please not blow up this restaurant while we're here? Thanks." It wasn't too long before we were ready to order and most of us got our first refills of our respective drinks. "Are you all ready to order?" We nod. Thomas smiled as they took all of our menus before turning towards me: "I'll have 3 whole extra large pan crust cheese pizzas and the spaghetti dinner." "3 whole pizzas and the spaghetti dinner?! Am I hearing you correctly?!" "Indeed you are. A knight like me has to eat a lot. I'm sure you at least kind of know how it goes." A couple minutes later, all of us have ordered. Thomas is visibly shocked and shaken up: "..It's going to be a while. We're going to have to bring out your food in rounds, starting with all of the spaghetti dinners.. I'm going to have to get my manager.. This has never happened before.." They speed walk away. Nothing else unusual happened. Just causal chats, jokes, and Zarbon being Zarbon.. 15 minutes later, the spaghetti dinners arrived. Unlimited breadsticks and spaghetti. That's right. Unlimited. Naturally, that was very bad news. It was like all of the dinners were inhaled. Once Thomas and the other employees who were helping bring the food out and such left to tend to other customers after setting all the spaghetti dinners down, all of the dinners were already gone. Just like that. Gone.

Ultimate Shaggy says: "Like if I don't get more spaghetti soon, I'm going to be so mad, man!" El Hermano(Spanish speaking Jiren) replies in Spanish but with English subtitles right there in front of him: "Be patient or I will defeat you again. Our appetites are a tough challenge for this restaurant." "Party pooper!" As the hours passed by, so much food was consumed that once we were finished, Thomas came in to start collecting plates. So what? Well, they said: "Guys, we are out of supplies for food now. LaRosa's is closing for the night soon." (It was daytime EST at LaRosa's when we came in) They add: "T-the.. The bill.. *pulls out a receipt out* Here it is.. Please pay it at the register when you are ready.." I take one look at it and immediately put down 8 100 bills as a tip on the table. It was pitch black outside from what I could see. I stood up and said: "The dinner is on me. I'll pay for it. You can all hang here until closing time. But I'm paying for it. No ands or buts." "Aww! No butts?! That's not fair!" "ZARBON!" "I was just saying." I used paying for the meal as an excuse to get away before anything else happened. Dominic came with me and whispers in my ear: "Swiftdrawer, they have all agreed to join BRAINS." "When did you find the time to pull that off?" "I didn't. Barla and Blaze did." "Since when were they here in the DAU?" "For a while. You just couldn't see them." "I see. Well, that's a relief. Makes this whole situation worth dealing with. Hopefully, KOSA fails and I never have to worry about my writings about our adventures and misadventures getting snubbed off the internet.."

A few minutes later, having paid the massive bill, I was back in the Miitopia BRAINS base. I sat there in the library processing everything that happened. Herbsalvin walks in, sees me, kisses me, and asks: "Chaotic day?" "You wouldn't even know the half of it. *explains everything* So there you have. Damn All For One. None of this would have happened if it weren't for him. I can't stay here for much longer. Gotta get back to Greenhorne Castle so I don't put anymore work onto Rol. I screwed up not mentioning that Rol is my assistant earlier this month but it's okay now." "Please let me know if you need any help. As long as neither of us have to go to another battle, I will be able to do so." "I will. Thank you."