Chaotic Hangouts
Chapter 32: Furry Convention Invasion
Date: August 11th, 2024
Before I begin this chapter, I want to say something important. Multiple notable members of the furry community have passed away this year. That includes Dragoneer who just recently passed away due to the crappy US healthcare system. May the impacts they made on the furry community and beyond be never forgotten. Never forget those we have lost and don't let what did them in cause more pain and suffering.
Let's begin the chapter now. Just as I said at the end of The Ultimate Interdimensional War, during my week long vacation from helping around the multiverse with a quarter of the BRAINS Collective, many of us went to a furry convention. So what furry convention did we go to? A furry convention that became defunct due to Covid and is one of the reasons why I'm so insistent on reminding and informing people that Covid is still something that isn't simply no big deal. When you ignore problems as major as Covid, disaster strikes. You see it all the time in cartoons and anime. Everyone thinks the person or people worried about something minor is nuts and disregards their concerns and then the problem grows too big to be ignored. Anyway, the convention was called Fur Reality. It was the first furry convention I went to. But in the alternate timeline we went to, it survived and is actually thriving in this year of 2024. Thriving so well in fact that it is now located in a larger convention space than the Holiday Inn Eastgate. The theme is Trapped At The Amusement Park as inspired by Kings Island and the newly defunct Coney Island Cincinnati which still closed in this alternate timeline at the end of 2023. So, let's get to what happened. Let's be real. Because it's a furry convention, many chaotic hangouts happened over the course of its several day duration from pre registration on Thursday to the Dead Dog Dance on Sunday night. And various chaotic events took place with me involved. But we're going to focus on things like a very particular panel that happens at midwestern US furry conventions. But before we do that, let's go over what it was like going there. We registered online and blah blah blah. Didn't need to pack anything due to power of video game like inventory.
We just put what we need in our inventories and that was that. Oh and yes, all of our weapons were put in the inventory or displayed while peace bonded. Pitohui was upset that she couldn't display her gun but that was resolved easily when she was told she can have her photon sword holstered as long as she didn't turn it on. Anyway, it didn't take long for us to get there. We just teleported and made sure to study the convention map online so we knew where we were going. We were a gang of misfits in a convention of misfits. The general furry community are a whole lot of misfits and that's okay. Pinkie Pie cheered: "Oooooo! I can't wait to see all the great costumes and have so much fun!" Discord replies: "I sure hope they won't mind a taste of my chaos!" Rarity grins widely: "OH! THE COSTUMES WE ARE ABOUT TO SEE WILL ALL BE SO UNIQUE AND AMAZING! I just can't wait!" We walk inside, all 50 or so of us. Pito speaks: "Hey, where is everyone?!" I reply: "Most everyone will be here tomorrow, pre registration is happening today so there aren't many panels going on." "Darn!" I am currently wearing a fuzzy red wolf tail with a white tip over my armor by using my black leather belt to hang it from. I mean, I'm still a furry you know. Even if I'm an undead dark knight in this body. So time skip to finding registration and waiting in line. Rainbow Dash complains: "Oh, come on! THERE'S A LINE!" Carlos laughs: "Silly! It isn't even that long!" I add: "Now if you want to see a line to complain about, go to Midwest Furfest. You'd love line con. A line so long that it might as well be its own convention. Waited 3 hours to get my badge last time I went there. Do I plan on going back? NO. Too big. No Covid rules there anymore so whatever illnesses people know or unknowingly bring can just spread without limit. So yay for con crud which people could actually prevent if they gave a damn."
"So they go wee!" "Carlos, that's NOT funny! Anyway. You remember this convention actually has masking rules, right? It's why we're all wearing high quality N95 respirators even though we can use magic or advanced science to just create those things we have that have the same exact function as N95s except they're not visible or have solid mass. Even in our collective, we have to have some rules. It's a part of any community, no matter what it is. That's how culture works. So I don't mind this. Do any of you?" They shake their heads no. And then, I think of something I thought recently: "And now, I have something else to say on this matter. This will not only pass the time through this line but also be ya know. Wow, HOW SCI-FI! A FURRY CONVENTION WITH MASK REQUIREMENTS AS WELL AS OTHRR LISTED WAYS TO STOP OR SLOW THE SPREAD OF DISEASE! It's so impossible in a capitalist society that we must be experiencing what is essentially science fiction in my world! Upgrading ventilation to improve air quality and stop Covid and other diseases from spreading?! WOW! That's far beyond the capabilities of 21st century technology! This is the future, it must be! Oh but I can't help but say more! WOW, a furry convention actually TRYING to keep their attendees safe from DISEASE IN 2024?! Wow, I thought that was so 2022 or 2021! Guess I was wrong!" No one laughs. Dominic sweat drops: "I knew it was bad. Nap causation. You should have told us more about your feelings. You shared a lot of them but not all." "Well, the joke isn't meant to make people laugh necessarily. Because let's be real, the way furry conventions in my world have been handling Covid went from pretty good at best to not much different from before Covid at best in less than 2 years.
I know IndyFurCon's decision to remove everything left about Covid they had up in their policies and such was made based on what the local healthcare people said but it still wasn't wise at all. Mask recommendations are weak. They don't convince many people to wear masks. Only some of the ill and those who are disabled are the ones inclined to wear masks if they're not mandatory. I'm sorry to be serious like this in the middle of what will soon be a flurry of chaotic hangouts which I hope don't end up causing the roof of this building to be blown off because of Carlos, Pinkie Pie, Discord, Koro-sensei, Tetsuya, or someone else. But we HAVE to talk about this before we can start having more fun. That war we just ended was exhausting. This furry convention will help us a whole lot in taking a break from the chaos of battling across the multiverse. The fact that the healthcare system has largely abandoned not just people who have been disabled for a long time but those who are now suffering from Covid or worse, Long Covid has literally caused furry conventions to do the exact same thing along with Florida's ban on mask mandates among other things. The way furry conventions have abandoned those kind of people is alarming because many still accommodate wheelchair users and those who need service animals which is really good and important. But still, it is a symptom of how public health sabotaged itself after succeeding as much as it did once upon a time. And it is in my opinion, an insult to the furry values of including all kinds of people with open arms and consent for hugs and helping the most unfortunate. Furry conventions have raised millions of dollars in my world for animals, furries in need, queer teens, and more.
Not to mention the AIDS advocacy following the passing of Dogbomb. Some of the most amazing people I have ever met or heard about are or were furries when they were alive. The inclusion of queer people as the majority in the furry community is one of its very best aspects. Some furries like me are still concerned about Covid and rightfully so. Other furries and furry con organizers need to listen to us and what we're saying. We have the technology and what have you in my timeline to make all furry conventions safe places to be even the largest ones that are held in the Flu Season such as Midwest Furfest and Biggest Little Fur Con. And guess what? If people wear high quality respirators and the air indoors is clean, guess what will stop being so common? The infamous con crud which doesn't just include Covid. I want furries who don't wear masks to conventions as well as convention organizers to see the writing I make of this experience. They need to. I love the community so much that it's almost unwavering even though it largely disappoints me when it comes to Covid. Ending Covid policies is nothing to celebrate about. Covid wasn't handled properly by society in the past so it continues to be a pandemic level threat in the US and around the world. Covid is a bio safety level 3 virus. There are 4 levels with level 4 being the most dangerous. Studying Covid in the past has had to happen in highly secured facilities with many procedures put into place to keep researchers safe and the labs free from any contaminations. Whatever viruses a researcher comes in with do not get inside the lab nor do the researchers catch any new ones by the time they leave.
Long Covid is why Covid needs to be taken seriously. Every time you get ill with Covid, you have a 10% chance of catching Long Covid. Long Covid can be as simple as brain fog or it can cause you to be bedridden for years with no end in sight. It's just the latest of many incapacitating post-illness issues that are grouped together as one single disorder. They want us to forget about Covid and move on like we're back to 2019 in terms of normal stuff. But the world has changed due to Covid. We are never going back to how things were in 2019. By taking Covid seriously and doing all that we can to avoid catching it or spreading it around, we can get back to something resembling 2019 where people aren't getting mysteriously ill or dying young at a higher rate than ever before. We can stop labor shortages from happening like the 2021 labor shortage by taking it seriously and we don't need to go back to the lockdowns to do it. We can continue living our lives by being safer and having the places we visit be safer as well. With the right safety procedures, even a place like Disney World can be enjoyed fully while doing what you must to avoid Covid while there. It's possible. It's doable. Furry conventions need to actually do what they can to protect their attendees from Covid as well as other diseases like HIV, norovirus, RSV, and the Flu. If the community want to lose less people like Dragoneer, Lemonade Coyote, and Dogbomb too soon, this is what has to be done. The community has to as a whole take Covid seriously too. You don't need to see someone's mouth to see their joy. Eyes light up when they feel joy after all." We talk about that for some time and eventually shift to other topics. When it was my turn to get my badge, the staff member I went to in the registration room was shocked: "Wow, you look incredible in that armor! Great costume!"
"Thanks. It's not a costume. I really am a knight." "More power to you! Anyway, what's your name so I can get your badge for you?" I give them my name and they give me the badge. Hilariously, its front is based on Kings Island's season passes but done in a cartoon style. I am also given some ribbons and allowed to take pronoun ribbons. I take a they/them one. The other ribbons I got were panelist and sponsor. I put them on before wrapping the lanyard my badge is connected to around my armored neck. The others are waiting for me and everyone else to get our badges. I remark: "Hey, why did I get a panelist ribbon?! Last I checked, I didn't submit any panels." Carlos chuckles. "Carlos, what did you do?" "Not telling." "Jokes on you, I foresaw this happening! You must have had something to do with the fact that I'm going to be the host of Whose Lion for some reason as well as Charity Whose Lion! Are you trying to mess with me discreetly or something?" Discord chuckles: "Oh, I JUST have to see that!" "Well, at least they didn't make Dominic or someone else host Whose Lion instead. I'm the only one of us with plenty of Whose Lion experience after all." As the convention went on, I got all kinds of compliments for my armor, cape, and so forth for obvious reasons. But the attention I got was nothing compared to what the likes of Pinkie Pie got the entire time. I mean, having actual MLP characters at a furry convention where some bronies and pegasisters are bound to be is absolutely going to cause a storm. Before we get to Whose Lion, allow me to showcase some of the best other moments that happened before it. Let's start with the weirdos wearing Free Fur All crap and Nazi junk who showed up but didn't register for the con.
They just lurked around in the con space without masks on and said really odd things. Myself, Koro-sensei, and Tetsuya dealt with them swiftly. They were chanting fascist nonsense so it was time to make a mockery of them. We walked up to them as Tetsuya unleashes a bunch of live normal sized crabs. I speak: "Why don't you all shut the hell up and go home? Weirdos like you don't belong here or in furry or queer spaces period. Screw you and your favorite spineless cretin you want to take over the entire country." We ignore whatever they say. Koro-sensei adds: "You are acting rashly. Maybe you need a schooling Assassination Classroom style but without the death or violence!" "Crabby! Crabby! Hey crabs! Run along home with your claws between your legs and stop snapping your faces about nonsense not even I would have subscribed to at my most crabbiest! Or you can face the wrath of my fellow crabs and together, we'd make you cry to mommy!" They keep going on and on and on. These people are just the latest incarnation of the Burned Furs, trying to bring back the community to an era that never actually existed. They are transphobic, anti-NSFW stuff, and so on. No one should waste their time listening to them. Eventually, we had to take measures. First, we made sure to publicly make them make fools of themselves and went from there before I started chanting: "Nazi furs, F off! Come on, y'all! Nazi furs, F off!" Soon, hundreds of others join in and we physically force them to retreat by joining together to walk towards them. Throughout the con, a lot of that kind of stuff happened. Random eating contests taken to the extreme.
Discord creating chaos for funnies. That sort of thing. Luckily, the Dealers Den and Artist Alley were left calm and free of chaos. I stopped in them a few times to buy things, talk to vendors, and commission artwork. The artists I commissioned were blown away when I asked if they could draw me in my armor. I gave them photos to use as reference and things went from there. Thanks to us, the convention raised a lot more money for charity. I am summarizing basically everything besides the major convention events for now but that will change later. Soon, I will get to at least some of the panels. Not just Whose Lion. I have great plans for this chapter. Let's start with MST3K on Thursday night. I'm not going to name people I don't know personally in this chapter to make things simpler. Anyway.. "Welcome to yet another MST3K! I have no idea what kind of cursed movie is going to be played but let's start with some rules once we find out what it's called!" The name for that movie that ends abruptly featuring lightning, rock band, and body swapping is announced as the movie. I shout right away: "Drinking rule: every time something supernatural or odd happens, drink!" I don't suggest drinking excessively on a regular basis. As for me, I'm staying sober for life. "That was fast! Fine! We'll do that! You've seen this movie before, haven't you?!" "Yes I have and it kind of sucks!" "Hey, no spoiling!" As the movie progressed and the added rules got more ridiculous, here are some of the things that were said. "Fine! We'll drink every single time the character speaking changes! But, F YOU!" "Okay then. We'll drink whenever the scene changes. That shouldn't be too bad." Oh but it was bad. Comedic chaos reigned as a floppy old hat was passed around to collect money for charity.
"Damn it! We're going to make charity cry at Closing Ceremonies!" "What the hell?! Did they just die from lightning strikes?!" "Okay is this teenager girl possessed now?!" "This is a wild story of rock n roll!" "WHY ARE THEY STILL LETTING THE POSSESSED TEENAGE GIRL BE PART OF THE BAND?!" "*unison* DRINK!" "Okay, so now you're using the secret rule! Great! WHAT KIND OF SECRET DRINKING RULE DID YOU DAMN FURRIES DEVISE TO TORTURE US WITH THIS TIME?!" "DRINK!" "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" "DRINK!" "STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" "Okay so the girl is KILLING PEOPLE? She went from being a normal sweet teenager to a DAMN MURDERER! WAIT, DID HER HORRIBLE NOW DECEASED MOM POSSESS HER OR SOMETHING?!" They nailed it. It continues on from there. It was hours of laughter and delight. And the reaction to the ending was hysterical. "IS THIS HOW IT ENDS?! THEY JUST ALL DIE AT THE SAME TIME?!" "Oh, they're in the afterlife now." "WHAT KIND OF ENDING IS THIS?!" Now for the best moments of Opening Ceremonies. "And now, we want to welcome our less than ordinary attendees especially because they seem to be stealing the entire show everywhere they go!" "Blah blah blah. I've already said all that. Oh, WAIT. This year, some of our most popular panels will be run by different individuals than we're used to. I'm sure this will go over well! Moving on to the charity!" "Hi, we are the *charity name* and we *stuff they do*. And we're exciting to be here! This is our first furry convention!" One of the board of directors replies: "Welcome! You're going to either leave crying tears of joy or run out of here in fright as soon as you possibly can! This is going to be a VERY fun year!"
"..Okay then. Just so you all know, we will be hosting a few of our own panels and our table will be inside the Artists Alley. We can't wait to meet and talk to all of you!" "*later on* Friendly reminder. This convention is a masked con. You must be wearing a mask at all times except when you're eating or drinking. If you need to take your mask off, please go outside and do so. This convention's function space is well ventilated but we can't be too careful. We furries have killed the air conditioning at some past conventions including at this one. I am not joking. That really happened. Remember to keep your masks on as often as you can. We want to protect you and we hope you want to protect each other. We have enough ambulance calls due to the raves alone as it is. We don't need to make more ambulance calls than last year. Let's do our best to have to make LESS ambulance calls than we did last year. Oh and let's not make next year's theme about that. Okay? We're still figuring out the theme for next year so our minds can still be swayed. Hint hint." "Have we gone over everything? Oh.. Just a few more things. Please do not throw knives at the ceiling. Do not take the hotel's plants. Whatever you do, please try not to destroy the bathrooms. That would be very bad. I think that's everything. Go enjoy your convention and don't forget- WAIT! AAAAAAA!" Masked figures go onto the stage and hold the board hostage. "EVERYONE, FREEZE! NEXT YEAR'S THEME AND ALL OTHER CONVENTION OPERATIONS WILL BE OURS TO DECIDE FROM NOW ON! HAHAHAHA! Have fun on your roller coasters! But don't forget! This is our con now!"
But then, D'wayne The Pet Rock in moving body form appears on stage with a fake sword in hand along with Bone Dog who says: "We won't stand for your plans! Isn't that right, attendees?! This convention belongs to all of us!" Now for Open Mic. I was among the first to go up. I sigh into the microphone: "Oh, hi. So yeah. I am a real knight. And oh boy, I could tell you all kinds of stories like how I was involved in trying to assassinate an octopus named Kuro-sensei. Let me clarify. I'm not a knight whose like 'hail the king', 'deus vult', or 'God almighty blah blah blah'. I'm not going to go on some silly internet meme crusade against furries. I am a furry and I am no crusader. I am a dark knight. Forget the king. Forget the crusades. And I have no master! No gods to obey, no masters! But I want to touch on the cowards and weirdo creeps who call themselves the Grand Old Party, the GOP of losers who want to know what's in the pants of schoolgirl athletes. The weirdos who want to watch women's bathrooms in case any so called 'men pretending to be women' enter them which is a virtually nonexistent thing. Yeah, those bunch of jerks who have their heads so far up their hinnies that they can't even see that being stuck up in their hinnies as well as in the past is a bad idea! Like, just how weird and fragile do they have to be? 'Oh look, I'm a Republican and I can't accept change, ordinary people, or the existence of things I don't like because I'm a complete loser who belongs in a sewer.' They can't even get themselves new, original, or effective material when talking about the turn of events of Biden dropping out, Harris becoming their Democratic nominee, or Harris picking Walz to be her running mate.
I'm no Democrat. I'm a dark knight of the people. I'm an anarcho-socialist. Abolish the state. Abolish capitalism. Abolish the police and replace it with something better. Put an end to the Democrat and Republican Parties. But, the way the GOP have recoiled at what has happened is just so pitiful that I almost feel sorry for them. How low do you have to be when you react the way they are to what's going on? The truth is that they're all basically crapping themselves over all of this! Maybe my opinion means nothing as a white anarcho-socialist, knight, and so on but I'm still going to be straightforward. I think I've said my piece about the weirdos of the GOP who want people to believe that they're the normal ones when they are not in fact, normal in any conceivable notion. Their crap goes against empathic human nature. They're old farts of a dying age. An age that should have been killed off many years before now. There's weird in a good way like us furries. And then, there's the GOP and the other weirdos like them. They're bad. Really bad in an extremely high number of weird ways. They worship genitals. They worship their 'swords' that many of them use to 'stab' girls, women, and others with in order to intrude into their bodies. But yeah, go off. Tell me that they're perfectly rational human beings who are true Christians. Go ahead. I dare you. Anyway, enough about them for now. After all, I do have stories but there's only one I will tell for now. I'm also a zombie! Not the kind that goes around moaning and wants to eat your gooey brains. No, I'm a zombie as in, a zombie who isn't mindless. And if you want to know how this came to be, I will simply say that I died, got sent to this weird realm, and pissed off the individual who runs the weird realm.
I tried to rescue a friend from there and that's what pissed them off. And before I knew it not long after, I came back as a zombie. And OF DAMN COURSE I'm cursed to be a zombie. Nothing can cure me! And if you think I'm joking, I'm not. I really am a zombie. *laughter* No, really. I am a real live dark knight zombie. I look alive and don't stink like rotting flesh but it's true. Okay, I give up on trying to convince y'all. Maybe it's better if you don't believe me. Anyway, that's it from me! I'm a zombie and the GOP are a bunch of weirdo creepy losers who never got over enjoying the bullying they did in middle or high school or even college or university! CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!" Whose Lion Is It Anyway. "Okay, so is it time to start yet? Wow, the writing for part of this already exists and it doesn't nearly capture the full chaos of this convention but whatever. Okay. Yes? We can start now? It's time? Good. Hello everyone. I am Dark Knight Swiftdrawer and welcome to Whose Lion Is It Anyway! So what is this panel? It's an audience participation panel where we play some games and pick members of the audience to come up and play them. I see you raising your hand in advanced, Carlos but no. I won't be picking you. I want people I don't know up here because at Charity Whose Lion, some notable figures of the fandom and some of my friends along with me will be playing the games. That's tomorrow night and just like this version, it will be PG-13 THIS YEAR. Anyway, what else is there to know? Well, the rule of 'Yes and'. *explains the rule* Okay, you got that down, everyone? *pause* Seems like it. Lastly, we will be using a lot of audience suggestions for things so be ready for that!
Okay, first game! Let's play.. There's a lot of choices. But let's start with everyone's favorite: New Line! Dear friends of mine, help pick participants from the audience. While they're doing that, let me explain. New Line is a 2 person back and forth game with a twist. When I say, 'New Line', the person speaking will have to say a brand New Line. We will go for 6 lines per person per round. Now then, I need a location." "Kings Island!" "Bikini Bottom!" "EGGMANLAND!" "Equestria!" "Disney World!" "Universal!" "SeaWorld!" "Cedar Point!" "Holiday World!" "Fantasialand!" "Alton Towers!" *more are shouted* "HELL!" "McDonald's!" "Denny's!" "The mall!" "NARNIA!" "So many choices. Let's go with a weird one. Planet Spaceball from Spaceballs! Okay, now I need a scene." "Making out!" "Attempting murder!" "Arson attempt!" "Chainsaws!" "Roller coaster ride!" "Belching contest!" "PIZZA PARTY WITH MY MOM!" *more are heard* "Okay, let's go with Muscleman's suggestion." But honestly, as funny as Whose Lion was, it was nothing compared to what was about to happen after the end of it. When we got to the end of it, I am given a written note: "Oh great! Charity Whose Lion was just rescheduled from tomorrow night to 30 minutes from now?! This is so ruthless! Fine! Have it your way! We'll do that! At least you took mercy on us by giving us a 30 minute intermission! But still! This is so comedically evil! I guess we'll be able for more games in 30 minutes! Yeesh!" 30 minutes later: "Hi, we're doing this today. Much earlier than planned. Welcome to Charity Whose Lion." Let's get to the first game that was played. "Let's play Superheroes. I need a problem. We need a problem from the audience."
seconds later* "Okay, we're going for the problem: all of the pizza in the world has been stolen by aliens. Now that's good. That is SO good. Okay then. Hey Carlos, you're going to be Can't Stop Farting Man and our first bootleg superhero!" What we didn't know was how quickly things were going to spiral into pure chaos.. Carlos steps forward and begins the scene while actually farting over and over again and ignoring it for the most part: "I'm Can't Stop Farting Man and oh no! *farts* Where did all of the pizza go? *farts* Wait, are those aliens armed with many boxes of pizza being beamed up into UFOs! *farts* I can't do this alone! *points at Pirate Blaster* I need some help! *farts* Using my fart thingy, I call upon Ridiculously Strong & Cool Man!" "I'm Ridiculously Strong & Cool Man! *grows a lot of muscle mass somehow* We have to stop those aliens! Those pizzas belong to Earth, we have to take them back before it's too late! *everything around us transforms into the imagined scenario* They have almost loaded in all of the pizzas! Get on my back! I'll get us to their mothership!" Suddenly, Blaster jumps absurdly high and busts into the mothership. As the panel progressed, things got worse as more imagined scenes became too literal. I exclaim at one point: "Runaway magic has been discovered! It is making this panel too real! But it should be fine as no one gets hurt! It's a good thing we're here. We can handle whatever comes our way here." But it wasn't until right after the panel that things got truly filled with chaos. Right as it ended, someone shouted: "Hey! Nearly all of the panels that were going to happen later, tomorrow, and Sunday just got rescheduled to a few minutes from now!"
Suddenly, a guy with wild white hair with green tips appears through a wormhole along with some others. And a song called Good Morning World plays. The guy smirks: "It looks like science was right! Wormholes are real and we're in another universe now!" His name is Senku from Dr. Stone. Someone else named Gen replies: "Why are you so excited about this?! WAIT, WHERE THE HELL ARE WE NOW?! ONE MINUTE, WE'RE WORKING ON GOING TO SPACE. THE NEXT, WE'RE HERE!" Senku smirks: "Heh, it looks like we're at a furry convention!" "Oh so a convention for people who wear animal costumes?" "You're 10 billion percent incorrect. It's a convention for people who are enthusiasts for human like mostly cartoon animals! It includes original characters and being fans of the likes of Disney and Loony Toons. It seems we're in a world where humanity hasn't been turned to stone. This is so interesting!" Another guy named Chrome yells: "This is SO bad! I've never seen anything like this! Look at this place! And all these unique looking individuals!" "Heh, don't get too excited or you might just pass out. Since we appear to be stuck here, we should enjoy this while it lasts. Who knows when we'll find a way back to our world." A young woman Kohaku replies: "I don't trust this place." I walk up to them: "You don't have to worry. This place won't be any of your graves." Gen opens his mouth wide: "ARE YOU SERIOUS?! A HARDCORE COSPLAYER IN KNIGHT'S ARMOR?!" "I'm not a cosplayer. Well, not in this anyway. I'm actually a genuine organic knight." But before anyone could reply, the floor gets flooded with pudding. And here comes Twilight screaming: "PUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDING!"
Beerus is trying to eat all of it. "This is quite delectable! I must have it all!" And Scooby and Ultimate Shaggy along with Jounochi, Sonic, Goku, Honda, and other BIG eaters are trying to eat it all too. Gen freaks out: "What is going on here?!" Barla comes over and yells: "Hell yeah! Welcome to this pit of chaos!" I sweatdrop: "Did you just take a line out of things I've written. I'm probably one of the few who has ever used the phrase "pit of chaos"! And for the record, this is the 3rd time a furry convention has been part of a chaotic hangout with me present. But still, it's never gotten this chaotic at any up to now. Nearly all panels scheduled after this moment to occur happening at once?! Look at the mass panic moving all over the place! Everyone's frantic to get to all the panels they can which is physically impossible. Wait, why are people moving like Koro-sensei does all of the sudden?" Before our eyes, panelists and attendees alike are moving so fast that they're at multiple places at once through afterimages. That's when Doofensmirtz, Eggman, Koro-sensei, Spectre, and others appear with confidence written all over their faces. Eggman laughs: "It's perfect! The ultimate anti-too many things happening at once device!" Doofensmirtz adds: "Behold, our.. what did we call it again?! Oh right, no one cared about the name so I got to name it. Behold! The Many Places At Once Inator! I was about to make a reference to a classic rock song Love Handle covered but I realized that it would fall flat so I'm not going to do that. Curse you, bad ideas that don't even make sense!"
Someone runs over to Senku and hands him something. Senku grins: "It looks like I've been chosen to host a panel about science that's happening right now! I must share science and thus, I'm disregarding everything else to do so! This will be fun! Time to do some live science experiments in a modern world instead of a stone world where monkeys only recently saw shiny hairless monkeys for the first time!" He starts walking off. Chrome yells: "Wait for me! We scientists have to stay together, Senku!" Gen adds: "Dont go running off on your own, Senku! When you do, you always come back with something to shock us with! Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit but still!" My attention is stolen away by the fact that the pudding still is being consumed and growing in mass. I just stand around, unsure of what to do: "I don't want to attend multiple panels at once. Don't zap me with the Inator. And now I have nothing to do as I don't think there's anything I can do about any of the ongoing chaos." But then, much of the roof above us collapses as xenomorphs and facehuggers appear. I create an airy invisible sword: "Damn it, not these living nightmares again." A facehugger tries to attach itself to me but I slice it in half with my invisible sword made out of just air. "You're not welcome here, xenomorphs. Just like Nazis furries, you are a danger to other life forms around you and must therefore be booted out of here immediately. The only difference is that you're much more dangerous." Tetsuya laughs: "Crabtastic! It's time to make these creatures feel REALLY crabby today! Crabby! Hehehehehehehe!" But out of nowhere, the remaining xenomorphs are hit by flame throwers, jelly guns, fart guns, and.. "LIP STICK TASER!" Gru, Lucy, and the minions appear. Dominic yells: "A multidimensional rift has formed with this convention at the epicenter of it! Beings from other universes are being pulled here! What a nap causation!"
I reply: "Seriously?! Now this is a chaotic hangout with an emphasis on chaos rather than humor! It was only a matter of time before something like this happened again! Seriously! There are 2 dominant kinds of chaotic hangouts! One where things are hilarious and one where things are chaotic in a 'holy crap, what the hell is going on, are we going to die' sort of way! And sometimes, we get both of them at once like right now for example!" Several weird creatures appear. Discord poofs near me and exclaims: "Oh, is that the Smooze! I haven't seen you in a while, Smooze!" Cheese Sandwich is singing while playing an accordion: "Now it's time for another improvised 3 Headed Broadway Star but this time, anyone can join in with one word each! Hit it, everyone!" Bulma yells: "And the topic is.. total randomness!" I ignore that for now in favor of just watching other things unfold around me. Veldora is moving around playfully: "This is so much fun! I'm so happy right now! This chaos is perfect for me!" Diablo chuckles: "My my, Lord Veldora. You sure are energetic today. Very well. Keep enjoying yourself for as long as you can." I just stand there, taking in all of the chaos: "I want to stop this but at the same time, I don't want it to stop. It's just such truly strange eye candy that I just can't look away. My amusement and interest is now higher than anything else right now within me. And I feel like I have nothing to add to the chaos so I'm just going to watch this I suppose. Something tells me that we're going to have a chaotic hangout in Twisted Land next month as the next noteworthy one."
It's like I was completely in awe. I was snapped out of it by Carlos yelling to me: "Hey! Just because we have exhausted the jokes on you being a knight doesn't mean there's nothing you can do to add to this chaos!" I reply: "You're right. I have chosen to embrace the chaos of this situation so that leaves one question. What exactly can I do? I can do a lot but anything specific isn't coming to mind. Well, nothing that isn't dangerous anyway. Oh wait. I know." I activate my Artist's Eye in both of my eyes: "It's time for some theatrics and more decorating. This is going to be fun." I let my imagination run wild and because of that and other things, the entire convention space is covered with a myriad of strange, cool, and weird things including singing cups enchanted by Discord. And just when I stop decorating, someone yells: "All the panels that were rescheduled to now are getting repeating during their original times!" A lot of individuals are outraged. I face palm: "Okay, who's playing with us? This seriously has to stop. This is too far. Too damn far." After this, a whole lot of chaotic moments occurred especially since I decided not to really go to anymore panels. My mind melts just trying to think about everything that happened. But we did recruit the Dr. Stone characters that appeared into BRAINS. Some of them have superhuman strength. Others have high intellect. Others still are great for other reasons. I'm not exactly sure how much more I want to share because my brain just can't handle thinking of all of it. It just completely draws a blank for the most part.
Okay fine. I think I will just end this off soon with closing ceremonies and the karaoke. Too much happened to reasonably fit even within a 15000 word long chapter. And I still have much left that I want to write and my Minecraft theme park's completion looms. At this moment, I'm writing this second part of the chapter on September 1st and right now, there's only about 8 attractions left to add to Twisted Land. 7 coasters, 1 walk through. It will be done this month even with the smaller projects I have to do to really finish it up. By the time closing ceremonies rolled around, this list of things and much more happened. Total convention destruction and instant restoration, zombie horde being defeated by mayhem and laughter, a talent show called the Furry Variety Show going hilariously poorly, the rift fixing itself for no apparent reason, Shrek doing his thing, and random music numbers. The entire convention now looked horrendously chaotic. The chairman of Fur Reality in this alternate timeline begins closing ceremonies: "Welcome to Closing Ceremonies. I'm so tired. But this was a year like no other. Somehow, the events that have happened here have not gone viral online. I don't even know what's real and what isn't anymore. This has been Fur Reality 2024: Trapped In A Amusement Park. I'll hand things over to our security lead now. Take it away." That sort of stuff goes on and on so let's go to the best stuff. Programming, charity, and final numbers. "If you somehow missed it, I'm the director of programming this year at Fur Reality. As you know, things got out of control many times at the panels. I can't even fathom every single thing that happened.
Those individuals who kept talking about this con being one huge chaotic hangout were.. spot on. Because someone messed with us by rescheduling most of the panels to occur at the same time and having those panels be done again to make up for that, we don't have time to go over many specific numbers but let's try. So.. the Whose Lion panels. They raised 4,583. You all are amazing. That is mind blowing. MST3K: 2984.69. Charity auction: 6969.69. Okay, how did that even happen? What HAVE YOU ALL DONE?! Anyway. Dance competitions: 2765.21. And between them and everything else that raised money including naming the bad guys who were just defeated during the storyline panel this morning, we raised.. drumroll please. *pause* 35,471.84 and you have a few minutes to add to that number! Hats are being passed around to collect last minute donations while we count final numbers. And thank goodness, the charity didn't run out of the convention in fear with all their animals. I can see them in the audience. Charity, hold your tears in for just a few more minutes. And while we count things up, it's time for some last minute storyline stuff!" The storyline stuff was just a goodbye for now and so on with the theme for 2025 still left a secret somehow. The final numbers were announced as 1864 attendees, 42,569.69, 484 fursuiters in the Fursuit Parade which was surprisingly well spaced out with nothing chaotic happening during it, and a few other stats. And the theme was announced as Cartoon Mayhem. After closing, more funny moments happened but the con only truly ended during the Dead Dog Dance or should I say, Dead Dog Dance & Karaoke. A combination of 2 things.
It was odd to say the least but the karaoke was very mixed. Some of the singing was hilarious while other singing was just totally amazing. I don't want to go into further detail and just focus on the moment we returned from the convention. I sighed: "That was the best furry convention ever. Even blew IndyFurCon 2022 completely out of the water. I'm not sure how I'll ever get to experience a furry convention weekend even better than what we just experienced. Am I going to write about this? Beyond the Chaotic Hangouts chapter of it which I had to stop and plan on resuming first thing next month, the answer is no. It'd be so hard to write about in detail. At this point, I'm just begging for a chaotic hangout to cap out at 14 other characters other than myself. It's so damn hard to write about these chaotic hangouts knowing the sheer number of us who have recently been involved in them. My brain can't process it fully. It's just not possible. Back during the first ones, it was so much easier. The cast was so much smaller for each one in the beginning and now, we just have this now." Dominic yawns: "Writing about it in detail sounds like a serious nap causation." I drink a sleep replacement potion: "Ugh, we have to get back to our duties when this vacation is over. My brain hurts just thinking about how complicated these newest long conflicts are going to be." We talk with each other for a while before parting ways for the time being, just waiting for things to go as they go I guess. As things stand, I might conclude writing about these chaotic hangouts at some point in the near future. We'll see. They've become so routine and full of wide ranged chaos as of late. That's all I have for now. Thank you for reading.