Chaotic Hangouts

Chapter 36: Shopping With The Plastics

Date: December 20th, 2024

My closest friends, myself, and various others residing in Mii World that were heavily involved in crushing tyrannical forces in Miitopia are gathered in a flat and clear area between Greenhorne Village and Easin Hills Entertainment Park, not far from the latter. After having made a speech thing in front of many Miitopians, my friends, myself, and the others link arms and I activated my Artist's Eye. We recently discovered now that the frequency of battles has declined with the collapse of the Nacirema Empire that there are other ways besides a mind link for 1 or more individuals to help a Artist's Eye user amplify the power of the ability. If individuals link arms with an Artist's Eye user and they have some mana currently active, they can all help with the execution of the ability without a mind link required. Our enemies have gone complete off the radar so we are doing what we can to prepare for anything: even the sudden return of the empire. And we also needed some holiday cheer so we're here. Doing what we're about to do. With my Artist's Eye activated in both eyes and even upgraded to its evolved form, we all shout as we begin imagining transforming the area around us into a true winter wonderland: "LET THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT TRULY APPEAR RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT! HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE!" We close our eyes. I can feel the imaginations of the others merge with my own. I open my eyes after about 30 seconds and allow the creative energy inside to be released.

I shout as things appear and transform around us: "Now this is what we call bringing the holidays to life! I couldnt have done this like this on my own, not even with the full scope of my imagination coming to life power. THIS IS OUR COMBINED EFFORT!" We unlink arms as the joy truly begins around us. What we have brought to life goes far beyond Disney World and so many others have gone for the holiday season over the past many years. It is.. breathtaking. And took hours of brainstorming and concept art beforehand. We could have had it built through construction but someone suggested we bring it to life with magic instead. So, here we are. We then disperse among the crowd to enjoy all of this too. A few minutes later, as I take everything in some more with my closest loved ones in this isekaied 2nd life of mine, some kids run up to us excitedly and we engaged with them for a bit. It wasnt just our involvement in bringing this festival of sorts to life and the gear that we were wearing, our battle gear in fact that caused this. It was also the whole being some of the heroes of the revolutions in Mii World as well. Things went nice and dandy for a while and by dandy, I dont mean Space Dandy. We really had so much fun. Decorating cookies that actually taste really good and werent just bought from a store selling mass produced mostly sub par at best goods & foods/drinks or made incredibly cheaply.

Unlike Kings Island's for 2 years in a row now. We also rode the wooden coaster, steel looping coaster, mini drop tower, top spin, ferris wheel, merry go round, festive shooting ride, and all the other rides a part of all of this too. Whats more is that none of this festival stuff is going anywhere, its going to be year round. And it also includes games, meet & greets, and just about anything else you will find in at least one amusement park while decorated up for the holidays. Needless to say, there was plenty of fun to be had for everyone and we interacted a lot with each other and some of the most innocent individuals found on Mii World among others. It was overwhelming for me as an introvert who hates crowds at times but my friends as well as my knight charming helped me cope with how packed it was. Seriously, it went great. Nothing went wrong, we helped make sure of that ourselves. No fires, no yelling, no arguments, no electrical failures, no stampedes, no meteors, no redundant apocalypses, no potentially dangerous chaotic hangouts. But.. thats when Miitopia's resident mailman for adventurers, husband of Fab Fairy Akiza(blame Tomodachi Life) Steve appeared like a letter carrier from Skyrim. He just showed up right as we exited a bathroom just standing there in the middle of the pathway before us. He turns to us and addresses me specifically: "Its been a while, Swift! Im just here to.. deliver mail that needs to be delivered!"

(Fun fact: he is trained in stealing plans from the enemy like some of our current and former enemies..) I reply: "Its good to see you, too. ..Why are you addressing me and not all of us as a whole?" "Well, our resident dark knight, I have something for you! Please take it so I can deliver the mail that I still have to deliver already! WHY ARE MIIS SENDING SO MANY LETTERS TODAY SPECIFICALLY?! ..I just acted out of 'character'. Anyway, heres this for you!" I accept the letter from him: "Thank you so much for delivering this. If this is what I think it is, you need to get back to your duties before you get sucked into the can of worms thats about to be opened. Have a good one, good luck in finishing your rounds for today, I believe in you." He gives a happy nod before teleporting away in a flash and reappearing in the distance to run towards someone to deliver a package or letter to as well. Dominic yawns: "Im not looking forward to this." I sigh: "Im just glad I had time to warn y'all of what might be happening THIS TIME around. Our enemies are still laying low for now, giving us more time to train and to just hang out and have fun while also taking more measures against them. They wont surprise us so easily. Or at least, I hope so.. *opens the letter* ..I take a quick glance at this thing and I already hate it. Y'all, this is going to be.. interesting.."

I read the letter outloud to get it over with: "Dearest, Dark Knight Swiftdrawer. Sir knight,- Im already being.. misgendered. Okay, nothing new but it is annoying. ..Im saving the rest of this ramble for another time. *resumes reading* how are you doing? You've definitely heard of me before like who hasnt? Im the QUEEN of Northshore High School, Regina George. And Im writing to you because it would be in your best interest to meet my friends and I for a day at the mall. Everyone will talk about it and you and I are going to be so much more popular when people see us shopping together! All of my classmates will be so jealous! Sorry if I sound vain, I just cant contain how excited I am for you to join us! Someone said this letter is enchanted and that the recipient can just speak their response in reply while holding the letter so please do that to let me know if you want to come or not. Im such a big fan of your work! Thats why Ive decided to contact you! Kisses, Regina George. *stops reading and rips the letter to shreds* No. Im saying no. Thats the end of the discussion or would be if.. QUEUE SCENE, UNIVERSE. Just let you know who come here so we can get this chaotic nonsense over with. I know what comes next! ..*sigh* Just how many times am I going to end up poking fun at the fact that I sometimes know whats going to happen with some of the chaotic hangouts?

..And now I realize the fact that I keep doing that really is a long running gag that prolongs the shelf life of these chaotic hangouts being told by me as written fanfiction stories I publish online. Wow, self awareness is a thrill." Bray just kind of flows with my joking after saying something else first: "Regina has a toxic parasocial relationship with you. We shall not allow that to stand. ..*laughs* But even I cannot help but be amused at this absurdity and your self awareness. *rare funny sage tone* Just look at them, everyone! Our dark knight isnt acting in the manner befitting of a knight at all!" I add on: "Thats right, look at me! Let us revel in this moment of comedic mayhem while we act for annoyance #2 to appear! How dare I act in a manner that does not befit a proper knight! Oh noes! Look at me! Im not acting knightly at all! Its a disaster! Throw me into a dungeon already! Im breaking the code of chivalry! How will I ever pay for my transgressions?! I will never be allowed to be causal when the situation is actually right for it but will keep doing it anyway, how scary! But seriously, it will never not be funny to make fun of the stereotypical uptightness of knights in general. I know when to be more knightly in that 'sophisticated' way in a way thats unique to me and when not to be according to once again, my own preferences while being in tune with the needs of others." We just kind of go back to joking right after I cut off my own joking anyway and laugh as the inevitable approaches us. We could try to stop it but considering what it is, its better to just deal with it without just trying every possible method to stop it.

We can try to banish it away to Narnia or some crap but it will just come back at us. After some time, it and by it, I mean she.. arrives. A god. One with an overwhelmingly massive power level. As she appears before us, Dominic yells: "Great.. NAP CAUSATION!" Carlos dramatically replies: "Its what we have feared! We have to run for our lives! *pretends to start running only to stop* Hehe but we aint 'fraidy pantses! We're keeping our butts hovering above our planted feet in this location, sorry to disappoint! *dramatic fake crying* *stops doing it* *starts laughing* Did we get anyone?! Huh, huh?! Anyone?" The god finishes appearing before us, talk about a long loading time. (I would have said goddess but I just find saying that a waste of time, a deity's a deity regardless of gender or lack thereof.) The god speaks to me, staring daggers at me while doing so: "I know what you did! How DARE you rip up MY FRIEND'S LETTER!" I reply: "Im sorry but even knights like me get to choose whether we choose to do something like that or not. My priorities are with my friends, my duties as a knight of a people, and so on and I have no desire to go with you to that mall you want to go to with the Plastics from Mean Girls, most notably Regina who is your friend apparently." "How rude! Youre a disgrace of a knight but my friend Regina wants you to come so youre coming!" "And what if I still refuse when its literally within my right to do so?" "I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU CARE ABOUT! YOUR FRIENDS, ROLLER COASTERS, GROUPS, GAMES, DRAWINGS, ALL OF IT!" "Thats an exaggeration. We know your power level.

But you dont have the nerve to actually go through it, do you? *activates Artist's Eye*" "YOU UNCUTHE LITTLE- I WILL SHOW YOU! *erases a building nearby from existence effortlessly*" "*reimagines that very building back into existence* You wont leave us alone if I dont go with you, will you? I actually saw this coming. Fine, I'll go with you but dont expect me to be very engaging when we're there. You erased that building in the blink of an eye. It took me a couple seconds to reimagine it. That's enough to prove we have to take your ridiculous threats seriously." "Very good knight. Come with me." "What am I to you now? A pet? Sheesh.. *whispers to the others* Operation Assassination Prank Palooza." They know what I meant. Its going to be difficult to take down this annoying god who is very much acting like an entitled jerk or.. Karen if you will.. Im sure we'll find a way to get Beerus mad enough to get involved. Abstractoa will readily help when the time comes, they always do their best to support us without going too far due to all the baggage that comes with divinity in their case. And just like that, my loved ones see me off and minutes later, I arrived with the god to Regina's house. Or more specifically, the room she lives in and took over from her parents. Regina smiles: "Thanks so much, Goddess Karen! You brought him to us as planned! Im so glad! Finally! We can go shopping with a cool knight! Everyone will be so jealous of us! Get your bags ready, losers!

We're going shopping!" I dont say anything at first. But Karen(not the god, the Plastics Karen) protests: "Wait, arent we going to do introductions?!" Gretchen adds: "Yeah, I think we should do that first too.." Regina glares at them: "Shut up! Especially you, Gretchen! First, you got upset when I told you to move during our Jingle Bell Rock dance last night and now, this?!" Catie speaks up: "Regina, its okay. We're all friends here, right?" Hiding my actual feelings, I speak up: "Im not usually very talkative so forgive me if I dont speak much here, on the way to the mall, or at the mall. I am exactly who you think I am. I am Swiftdrawer. In the flesh and everything. Yes, my armor and sword are real. And there is no need for any of you to introduce yourselves to me. (Even as Regina tries to interrupt due to being angry still, I keep talking) If this is going to go well, we cant be having anymore arguments. I dislike arguments, usually a waste of everyone's time, hardly ever ends well." 30 minutes or so later, we have arrived to the mall after engaging in discussion nearly the whole time. I was bombarded by question after question. I did my best to answer while speaking calmly and not giving away any information I dont need to and keeping my real feelings about this hidden. The god didnt bring it up either. All I learned on the way to the mall is that the god really is just a terrible life form altogether, exactly the kind of individual Regina is as well in essence.

We head inside with Regina gleefully announcing: "Here we are! The fanciest mall anywhere in the world, right here, not even that far from school!" Karen cheers: "Oh this is great! We just have to get some makeup and purses and all of that!" I mutter to myself: "This place is so disgustingly fancy that it makes Cheesecake Factory look like a dirt hut by comparison." Gretchen adds to what they were saying: "This place is so fetch!" "Karen, shut up. I told you to stop, why wont you stop?!" The god speaks up: "Come on, girls. Theres no reason to fight. We came here for some shopping so thats what we're going to do!" Within a few minutes after that during which we just walked around because Regina clearly wanted to flex on everyone else as expected of her at this point, something became clear. I was brought here solely for clout. Okay, that was already clear but now, it was even more so. All these people were just gasping at us. Some high schoolers even said things such as: "Oh my god! Is that Regina George with A KNIGHT?!" "Oh great, Regina found someone else to include in her group to be even more popular." "Is that a real knight?! Regina is going places. Everything just has to go her way and blah blah blah." Maybe Regina didnt hear all of what they were saying but I could due to all the fighting and training Ive been through. The god was pleased and smirks: "Look at all of these jealous and weak mortals. Its so appetizing to see. Now if only theyd bow at our feet.."

I mentally cringe at that last sentence. Things go alright for a bit. Nothing too chaotic because half of us are trying not to get into any more arguments right now. We end up entering a store near the main mall entrance where a lot pf people are congregated in part because a large fancy restaurant is literally right there. The detail on the place was seriously so disgustingly fancy, I cant state it enough. I saw all of these functionally useless decorations that were literally just too much. Regina smiles: "This store is one of my favorites. Lets go inside so I can show you all! And get you some new clothes, Catie. We can do so much better than what you have at the moment, trust me." She just continues on like she didnt just do some yelling not even that long ago. The god must be influencing her. I speak: "So this store is called Loach? Strange name." "Oh yeah, the name is just meant to be ironic!" Inside Loach, there were a lot of clothes and purses. As soon as we entered, an employee spoke to us: "Greetings! *bows* Welcome to Loach! *notices me most of all* Oh my! We have a knight in our midst! Sir knight, Id be honored if you would indulge me..." I hated the next few minutes. I had to just hide my feelings and act nice because the god would erase me from existence and destroy everything I care about if I caused any disruptions to this shopping trip.

This whole shipping trip ended up beinb so annoying that Id rather have to deal with hours dragging on again because of one of my mom's incredibly boring shopping trips. Shes been deceased for almost 3 years now and its been even longer since a shopping trip I went on with her was annoyingly boring because what I mostly did was just follow her around as she looked at every 5 pieces of clothes and all that. I still miss her, I really do. As we continued shopping, I would end up having to listen to employees speaking old school in a Victorian/medieval sort of way including the ever so repetitively used sir stuff that has persisted to this day as a part of modern speech as well. Considering this universe is in 2004, I chose not to say much about my actual pronouns or gender identity. As far as millions of people are concerned, non binary people didnt exist in 2004 and just popped into existence in like 2014 or later or something. But thats actually not true. A few stores in, things started to get extremely chaotic at last after things remained a mix of tense, calm, polite/formal, and all that. All these employees speaking like they're from centuries in the past certainly helped ease the tension because they treated Regina so well and kept a lot of attention on me(which was not fun).

I ended up even having Catie confide in me about what she was actually trying to do, ruin Regina's life. This was while Regina and the god had to use the bathroom by pure chance. I saw some spellcasters I know well hiding and smiling at me as those two left, meaning the urge to pee within those two was magically induced. I look away from the spellcasters and after turning my head back around, they were gone. It was a couple of stores after the bathroom where things kind of just exploded. After all, even my patience was slowly beginning to wear thin and it gradually started to show yet wasnt the trigger of what was to happen. The god started the fire so to speak. She says randomly as we look around in a furniture, clothing, and purfume store called Lacy's(basically the same thing as Macy's but with much more expensive items and architecture to the point it hurt my eyes): "Regina, can I talk to you for a minute? I have something I need to say to you." I activate a spell to let me eavsdrop as Regina nods: "Sure, whats on your mind?" You'd think the 2 control freaks would be at each other's throat by now but they werent. Karen speaks as they walk off: "They must be about to gossip about boys!" Catie shakes her head: "I dont think so." I reply: "I can hear them. They arent gossiping.." The Karen god, not knowing I was evasdropping or more likely, not caring that I was doing so speaks again, having long dropped the aristocratic way of speaking from earlier.

"Regina, let me be clear! You are a foolish mortal who is being played by your own 'friends'! Gretchen despises you now and Catie is working to ruin you!" "Well, duh!" "I knew you were going to say that! So what are you going to do when I tell you that those bars youve been eating on Catie's suggestion make you gain weight instead of lose weight? Im fluent in Swedish among many other languages! I know just how much of a bad girl Catie is! I do, even more than you do!" Its worth mentioning that the god has been acting very entitled this whole time, much more than just what youve read so far. Not even customer service in a Victorian era/medieval aristocratic style of speaking was enough to satisfy her at times along with Regina George. But the workers at the mall and stores themselves are too nice and polite to just kick us out because of them. They avoid conflict at all costs. If avoiding conflict meant allowing the apocalypse to happen because of the actions of the nastiest people on Earth such as billionaries and right wing politicians, they would still choose to avoid conflict. The chaos was toned down because of their politeness up to now along with all of the classical music playing throughout the mall in a repetitive loop because the music tastes of the person(s) behind whats playing on the speakers is supposedly that depressingly narrow. The entitledness displayed by the god Karen and Regina was mostly present when talking to employees or whenever they felt particularly self centered or something offended them.

High class snob behavior right there. If this were an ordinary mall, a lot more attention would be on me. But the decor and design of everything in the mall visually overpowered my somewhat imposing presence in the eyes of many. Anyway, Regina screamed after she was told other secrets as well. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! THAT LITTLE-" She runs towards us, still screaming. The god laughs in a evil high class sort of way. I didnt even know that was possible. Catie asks: "Regina, whats wrong?!" "ITS YOU WHOS WRONG, CATIE! *pulls out the Burn Book* IF THATS HOW YOU WANT TO BE- WAIT.. *points fingers at the rest of us* YOU MUST HAVE BEEN A PART OF THIS TOO!" The god catches up easily and says: "I told her everything! Theres nothing you can hide from me! Let me be honest, all of you disgust me! Im here to watch this universe eat itself with human vanity and selfishness and greed and hate! Im also here to have fun and make mortals worship my beautiful divinity!" Regina is far too angry to process that: "*points at me* I KNOW YOU NEVER WANTED TO BE HERE! YOU HATE ME AND ALL OF THIS, I KNOW NOW THAT YOU DO! I DONT CARE THAT YOURE A KNIGHT, YOU ARE BENEATH ME-" She is cut off as we hear the music change to classic Christmas music as the god transforms to be all festive and make the mall more festive too while she was at it. The god proclaims: "I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF ALL AND I HAVE SUCH A LARGE AUDIENCE TO SHOW MY BEAUTY! Thanks so much, Regina! Stand by my side and watch as people gravel at our feet due to OUR BEAUTY!

Forget about these pathetic mortals! There are many windows and doors here, plenty of ways for people to see us especially because you being here is bringing more people here, Regina!" Regina glares at her: "SHUT UP, IM STILL SO ANGRY." "YOU SHUT UP!" They start yelling at each other. Gretchen snaps: "Regina! This whole thing was just an attempt for you to regain your precious stardom after our dance last night, wasnt it?! IM TIRED OF BEING TREATED SO BADLY BY YOU, WE CANT BE FRIENDS ANYMORE!" The yelling only gets worse and worse and then, something really strange happens. A bunch of flying butts with bat wings appear and work to kidnap the god and Regina who screams again: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! LET ME GO!" Goat Simulator goats appear to cause chaos. The regular Goat starts eating everything Regina bought as I stopped carrying it all for her. Honestly, Ive been sort of treated like a pack mule(mostly by Regina) due to my strength, having to carry everything everyone bought which was far too much btw. I forgot to mention that. I put the other stuff down and yell: "THATS IT, EVEN IM TIRED OF ALL OF THIS CRAP! Ive been playing nice this entire time and Im sick of it. Im sick of playing nice about things this annoying and/or twisted." The god and Regina are too busy being tormented by flying butts to respond. I dont even really fully know whats going on anymore. The floodgates to absolute chaos have been opened and they arent going to be closed anytime soon. Suddenly, gags straight out of Miitopia start happening out of nowhere. Running Noses appear and start sneezing on people.

Twerkies anger others by provoking them with shaking their butts that have eyes and mouths on them. But it only gets worse. A symphony of chaos that not even a entitled god can possibly keep up with has only just begun. I pull out some gourmet bagged popcorn: "Im just going to let this play out because I literally cant stop the god we've been hanging out with myself. And because the chaos is keeping her busy and I just randomly want to revel in this mayhem right now. The Running Noses arent even injuring anyone with their sneezes somehow." But as I start eating my popcorn, a hole opens up below me and I fall in. I yell up to Catie, Karen, and Gretchen: "Dont worry about me! I will get out of here! And I dont need to swear on my sword to commit to doing so!" After failing to simply just teleport out, I am forced to walk through the dark tunnel that was now before me and kinda stank. I look down: "Eww! Not another sewer.. I cannot enjoy my popcorn in this kind of place, no way, no how." But it didnt take long to escape. I found myself not even that far from the others when I got out. Instead, I got a better look at what was even going on. The god is screaming now too while being tormented by more strange things. Living fart clouds are poking her while chanting: "You stink. You stink. You stink." "WHAT IS HAPPENING?! WHY ARENT MY DIVINE POWERS WORKING ON ANYTHING?!" Karen and the others catch up to me. Karen speaks: "Hey, why dont we just ditch those two and have some lunch?"

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer starts playing, leading to Rudolph himself to appear and start.. peeing on the god and Regina?! A version of Santa not unlike his "homeless man" form in Gumball appears and proclaims: "Karen God, you have no power here anymore for I AM Trash Santa!" The god's manner of speech alters: "I DEMAND A MANAGER! THIS IS WRONG, THIS IS WRONG, THIS IS WRONG!" "Trash ho trash ho trash ho! I AM THE MANAGER AS ALL TRASH SANTAS ARE MANAGERS!" The god manifests a terrifying aura and breaks free of the flying butts and everyone and everything else. She then blasts Trash Santa and Rudolph away. Karen somehow convinces us to leave to have lunch. I didnt know how to stop the god so I went along with doing so, seeing really no other choice at all. The god and Regina sort of end up joining us for lunch as if none of what just happened just happened. A memory lapse is going on in their minds, what is even happening anymore? Its like these chaotic hangouts are spiraling further and further into sheer randomness and unpredictability as well as completely nonsensical things like flying butts. The god speaks as we wait for someone to take our drink orders after being seated by another overly polite employee whose manner of speech showed no true chill or casual: "I am very much excited to see if the food here really as good as many mortals claim! Actually, I expect to be insulted by how disgusting it is!" This kind of arrogant talk goes on and on to the point I feel it unnecessary to really write about. Instead, lets fast forward to when the food actually appeared.

I look at the pizza I ordered closely: "I cant eat this. Why is there actual gold on it? Or at least, fake gold on it? Nevermind, I'll just take it off." But before I could even do that, the god screams: "THIS CULINARY DISASTER IS BLASPHEMY!" She starts destroying the restaurant while screaming for a manager and Regina begins screaming as well after trying her dish. I finally get the crap off the cheese pizza I ordered, pick up a slice(yes, Ive temporarily removed my metal gauntlets) and eat it. It tasted so bland. It looked really good and appetizing but no, it was as bland as US public school pizza that just like it, has been kept inside of cardboard for far too long. Keeping pizza in cardboard for too long, especially with nothing between the pizza and cardboard makes the pizza taste like cardboard, in fact. I refuse to take another bite. The pizza is heavily saucey so even the one bite I took had plenty of sauce in it. And yet, the sauce didnt taste very great either. Just as I put down the slice and push the pizza to the side, my comrades appear in large numbers. Carlos laughs: "Hehehe! Its time for the real chaos to begin!" And just like that, I didnt really know what was going on. Again. The god and Regina were pied in the face several times before being farted on. Once I looked at enough of the chaos going on around us, I gof up and yell: "Im joining in! Lets make this mall look like a parody of its current self or something!" But first, I help mummify Regina using toilet paper, leaving her head unwrapped so she could still breathe.

Following that, she would be covered in glitter, silly string, egg yolk, milk, superglue, and more. The rest of her reputation is not going to survive today. At least she wont get hit by a bus in this timeline. Too bad for her that she got distracted before she could add her own name to the Burn Book like in the movie or something else like that. Instead, someone stole it and I found myself being handed it to "scribble in and mess up." I pull out some markers and get to work. I remove all of the pictures of people in it and someone stores away all those pictures while I scribble through the statements written into it to make them sound absurd while crossing out the names of people in the book in favor of ridiculous names. For example, right after I put my gauntlets back on and got the markers back out, I crossed out Damian's name and wrote on top of it: "An annoying god." I then scribble the "gay" in "Too gay to function." and replaced it with entitled and replaced "function" with "actually be funny." It now reads: "Too entitled to actually be funny." After I was done with that in a few minutes, I renamed the book to the "Bingus Book" and placed it on a table for anyone to take because I didnt really care who took it home. I then team up with Carlos, the Wacky Clowns, and other known chaos creating troublemakers to really do a number on the mall. Between us and many of the others who have come here, we have made the god so angry that she cant even think of the immense power she has an leverage against us at the moment. As we use bathroom humor as inspiration to decorate much of the mall, I yell: "The juice is fricking back, you fricking knackers or whatever I was going to say!

If you dont know what Im even saying, thats okay! I don't entirely know myself at this point!" But after we have successfully made the mall look ridiculous by using silly string, toilet paper, slime, fake poop, fake pee, ugly trash cans, a few dumpsters, ridiculous gags like whoopie cushions and butt themed urinals, putty, confetti, icing, sauce, dough, bricks, rocks, and more, the god suddenly snaps out of her rage and enters into a new rage. Thats right as numerous attempts to assassinate her begin happening in rapid succession. The assassination chaos of that Assassination Waterpark pretty much happens here as well. It was hilarious to watch especially because the likes of Deidara and Korosensi just kept yelling the entire time. And Present Mic and others just started announcing completely random things. The god at first just lets all of this happen as her new rage built up. But in less than the blink of an eye, that changed. She effortlessly fought off everyone trying to assassinate her only to fall right for a massive series of traps that had her weakened and pinned down for the time being in seconds. Meanwhile, Regina is still mummified and too covered in stuff to say anything to anyone. And most of us are laughing at the god with some of us even making comments making fun of her including myself. But seconds later, shes free of all the traps and angrily laughs as her appearance becomes so festive that its almost blinding. "THERE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! I WONT NEED A MANAGER WHEN IM JUST GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU!

I WILL GET WHAT I WANT AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME FROM GETTING IT!" Just as someone tries to reply, she gets even more angry: "SHUT UP, I AM TALKING! IF I AM TALKING, YOU WILL NOT INTERRUPT ME OR I WILL MANAGE YOU TO DEATH, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" She goes on and on, ranting over and over about everything. That didnt last forever because she provoked the wrath of other gods. Beerus appears, eating some instant ramen, finishes it, and stares at Karen God without saying anything, too annoyed to do so. Whis chuckles: "Looks like you really pissed Lord Beerus off." Athena speaks: "Fellow god known as Karen, this is where your strange and evil deeds finally come to an end." A bunch more gods appear at once and just like that, Karen(the god) was effortlessly taken care of. Many of the gods say things before leaving to get back to what they were doing before. And thats how that whole thing just kind of ended. We release Regina from ths toilet paper and everything because none of us are mean enough to keep her in that at this point. After straightening things out(including erasing memories of bystanders and security footage) and explaining things, my comrades and I began to leave one by one. We literally delete all evidence of us being at the mall at all. I tell Katie what she needs to do from here on out. And we leave abruptly with me yelling: "THIS KNIGHT DISAVOWS THE NONSENSE OF THE PLASTICS, I WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH REGINA GEORGE TO BEGIN WITH. ALSO, HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY THE REDECORATING OF THIS PLACE! *laughs* NOW, WE ARE OUTTA HERE!"

And the god will not be seen again for some time but she will return for revenge. Despite being erased from existence after being sealed away first, she will return someday. And its somewhat hard to take her seriously as a threat. She is literally THAT absurd as you have now seen, dear reader. Following all of this, some of us go to a KK Slider concert in Club LOL in Fun Land and chill with him and others from the Animal Crossing world before it to ease whatever tension is left. We end up seeing most of Fun Land's residents also present for one of his shows. My ACNL character gives me a happy wave in greeting but doesnt speak a word due to not being the most talkative anyway. KK Slider greets all of us afterwards: "Yo. So youre here for some tunes as well. Alright, cool cats, Im almost ready to start. Once everyone is seated and Im ready, I will begin. But before I do.. Is there anything you cool cats want to hear today?" I speak up: "KK Metal." "I got you. I'll write your request down so I cant possibly forget it. Ive been getting a lot more requests per performance the past couple of years than I was used to in the old days. Im very much cool with that but even I can't remember all of the requests I get." Many of us nod in understand and I walk around to find someone to talk to until the show starts. Hugh, the lovable lazy blue pig beams at me with a wide open smile: "Swift! I havent seen you in a little bit! Im always up for a chat with you, lets talk!" I nod: "Youre one of my favorite residents of this world, lets do it."

Hes already seated so I end up sitting next to him. "Im so happy to be talking to you! I would give you something but you already have do much! *blushes* So Im just going to hug you instead! Uhuhuhuhuh!" And just like that, he gives me a hug despite the fact Im wearing my armor as usual. I hug him back and we just keep hugging until we're satisfied. We stop doing so when we are and get back to talking. As KK finishes getting ready, I get in one last thing real quick: "Hey, we've been talking about a lot of fun things these past minutes. But.. I have to ask.. Are you ready for the time that is coming soon in which this town has to be saved from the likes of Tom Nook, Gracie, Katherine Glassgate, Goku Black, and Redd? All of us need to be prepared to fight back now that we have come to know theyre coming here for revenge, blood, and conquest." "I'm trying my best to prepare! *yawns* Id rather sleep in but it feels like everything we care about is almost constantly in danger.. So I'll fight for my friends like you and to have more snacks in the future!" "I feel that. I just want to chill and have a harmonious life with others where I can spar with our friends for fun, violence isn't necessary in any situation anymore, I contribute to society by helping others and creating art, stories, and so on, and dont have to worry about oppression, bigotry, fascism, capitalism, denialism, and other crap because it will have mostly been regulated to the past where it belongs. Oh and where I can engage in other heart pounding activities without worrying of the usual stuff among other activities like gaming and reading stories and such."

He would have replied if KK Slider hadnt started the show before he could: "Welcome, everyone. I know you cool cats are excited so lets get these chill melodies ready to go." We all cheer and/or applaud him and he speaks again once that naturally dies down: "Be cool and dont be afraid if you have a request for me while youre at it. If you want to request I play a song in my catalogue, just let me know between songs. *pause* ..Alright. This first one is KK Metal, requested by Swiftdrawer." He begins strumming an acoustic version of his metal song. Some of us summon or pull out various kinds of lights and wave them around as he strums. We all harmonize with the song, it was a very beautiful moment to say the least. For the next 2 hours, he would play song after song and we would all sway with whatever he was playing at any given moment. Once it ends, KK Slider bows and says: "Thank you so much for coming to my show, you cool cats. Please enjoy the rest of your nights. You are an excellent audience as always. It means a lot to me that you all came to chill and listen to me perform with my guitar." He packs his stuff up and exits the stage. Meanwhile, Blathers, who ended up sitting by me and Hugh speaks: "Hooo. As always, KK Slider's show was as magnificent as many of the exhibits in our museum! I cant contain my excitement after the day we've had over there. It was so busy and full of life that I had to drink a sleep replacement potion!" After talking with him and Hugh for a whils, I left with most of the others for Miitopia to return to that festival at last in order to have more fun there.

The day ended and the new day started at that festival. The year 2024 was nearly over when all of this happened and now, its 2025 and our world is going to be in even more trouble very soon, dear readers. In order to resist whats coming, theres a million things you can do. I recommend getting a VPN, using encrypted messaging software for messaging others, having multiple emails, getting more private email accounts, not putting your irl name everywhere online if you arent known by it, clamping down on having your irl name everywhere if you do, adopting subtle language, shutting up when the authorities try to talk to you, not posting pictures of your face(or doing so while covering your eyes and hair, keeping your phones off or at home if you're going to any kind of demonstration, concealing your identity at demonstrations, covering up against mass surveillance, mask taping the cameras built into your electronics like tablets and phones when you arent using them for anything, quitting soda, quitting alcohol(you cant drink your problems away), not posting about going somewhere online, not sharing pictures of the outside of your house, quitting top 40 radio if you haven't already done so, refusing to use gen "AI"/AI slop, uninstalling and/or disabling(depends on what you can do to them) Microsoft's AI assistant and all other AI assistants(whatever ones you have), avoiding products labeled organic(organic food/anti GMO movement is rooted in anti-science and reduces crop yields), avoiding chatbots like the plague, learning to avoid scammers and being scammed, and continued..

Hiding in plain sight in public mostly in unfriendly or mass surveillance watched areas if you have a not so visible identity(such as being queer), contributing to and borrowing from your local library, running for local office, studying leftist theory, consuming "woke" media, learning about the brain damage Covid can cause, reading about the legit dangers of the Flu, Norovirus, Bird Flu, etc, smiling, making jokes, refusing to let despair crush you(those in power want you to suffer immensely and feel powerless, be obedient, be constantly miserable, and more, fight back, dont let their malevolent wills be imposed on you), affirming who you are as a person(only you can tell you who you are, no one else can no matter how much they say they care or know better), celebrating victories when you wish including the small ones, using your imagination, being creative, doing creative projects yourself, commissioning creative people to make stuff for you, having boundaries between you and others, being kind, taking no BS while trying to stay calm, read When Violence Is The Answer by Tim Larkin, read the Covid Safety Handbook by Violet Blue, watch Gumball, consume media made by marginalized people, develop inner peace, resist and question authority(dont talk to them though unless its to ask for a lawyer, if youre free to go, etc), dont give information to the authorities, learn to defend yourself and others, exercise regularly, don't spend hours on YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, etc everyday, slowly rid yourself of your addictions by great toning down how much you put into them, and more. Thats a long list that should help you resist immensely.

The immediate future is really dark but there is still is a lot of light around. Dont you ever dare give up. You cannot succeed if you never try to begin with. If you try, the odds of success and failure can be a toss up, neither one is 100% in most cases. Thank you so much for reading and if you are doing so not long after this chapter came out on January 4th, 2025, happy new year. And dont forget to have at least one person you love and trust completely in your life. Even for introverts, having someone that you are that connected to is everything and worth the effort. Actually, we arent done here just yet. Time for some chaotic hangout one shot moments for things that really dont require an entire chaotic hangout to make fun of or whatever! Are you ready? I sure am but please dont forget my advice to you all. There are a surprisingly immense number of ways to resist whats coming. The most basic forms of resistance is just doing things that make you less susceptible to complacency such as staying away from things that end up making you feel wiped out in the morning and getting over social media addiction(which while a huge problem, is often talked about while ignoring the fact that so many kids need online friends nowadays, there has to be a balance between limiting social media use and having time to connect with others including on social media). With that said, its now time for those one shot moments powered by unlisted dates because I don't remember when they happened.

Endermen Hate Bath Time! Ender the Enderman, someone who has come to actually tolerate water unlike other endermen and has been able to handle it for several years now has been avoiding bath time. He tried it a couple times but he hated it every single time. And because almost everyone else is too busy, I have been asked to help him finally have a successful bath time for once. He told us that its about time he tried one more time. Its been quite some time since the last time he tried. I turn on the bath water for Ender. As it fills up, I ask him: "Are you ready for this?" He shakes his head: "I hate it! I hate it! *terrified Enderman noises*" "Its going to be okay. Im here. Im here." After it finishes filling up enough, I turn off the bath thing and say: "Okay, Ender. Its time for you to sit down into the water, you got this. Last time you tried, you had no one to help you. You cant actually expect someone to learn how to take a bath on their own. *laughs* You know, we must look ridiculous. A fully armored knight helping a enderman take a bath.. Thats absurd and deserves to be drawn as an artwork by human hands or something!" My remark helps him relax. He sits down and starts shaking, screaming, and squirming. I did my best to calm him down, help him get through it, and show him how to bathe himself. Ender listened to he still kept reacting pretty violently by instinct to literally every sensation. But after some time, bathtime finally ends and he smells cleaner than hes ever smelled before.

He shakes violently after drying off and tries to attack the tub but I stop him gently and comfort him. We'll get him used to bathing himself in time instead of refusing to do so at every turn in time, he wants to change so we can readily keep helping him with this from here.

Get A Job: This was back during the whole infilitration of Nacirema stuff that lasted for about a month or two or however long it did.. In our latest temporary apartment when this happened, Herbsalvin spoke to me: "I endeavor to get a daytime job in order to avoid suspicion even more. I must, no other choice." "Well.. Thats a good idea, sadly. I bet a lot of people around us have been brainwashed to scream 'get a job' at anyone who's employed, even if they have been struggling to get a job for months through like Indeed or something." Theres a laptop in this apartment so I power it on and we end up working together to make a resume and everything else you need for a job where Im from. We even use a burner phone as a phone number. Once that's all settled, I speak: "Im surprised that they still have jobs that actual life forms can send applications to in this city. I know the Nacirema capital only just moved to be here but still. They must have not fully dystopiaized this area yet." Blah blah, sign up for this and that. Herbsalvin points on the screen of the job search site we're now on: "So is this the available jobs list?" "Yes. Just click on each one and see if you have matching qualifications. As in no experience required because you dont have any 'proper' education history or work history under your false identity we have made for you that looks completely legit. We even asked many of our friends to see if they found it convincing and guess what, they did." Hours later, they have applied for as many no experience needed jobs as they could, regardless of location and distance. We even made their resume look really "hot" to employers.

But as the rejection emails came in quickly, we read them and I start laughing and moving around chaotically as the job market portion of the reality of this world sinks in: "WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, NOT EVEN WALMART WANTED TO HIRE YOU!" "I.. I find myself very puzzled.. How could all of them just reject me so quickly without a second thought like they do to many in your own world? What kind of injustice is this?" "HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAA! Its because you have no job experience! No one wants to take on someone who has no experience because who has time or the money to train someone who has never worked before, AM I right?! Who cares about the people new to work when you could have someone with actual experience instead despite the fact that someone new probably needs the job even more so that they can rack up experience at their first job?!" I just keep being extremely chaotic about how evil and frustrating and soul crushing the job market is for a bit. They say its easy to get a job now but its not so simple. Youd be lucky if one job you applied to responded the next day and actually considered interviewing you at the very least.

Immunity Debt: Pirate Blaster reads over several headlines with myself and several others about immunity debt. "ARRRRRR, WHAT IS THIS LANDLUBBING NONSENSE?!" Eventually, I couldn't hold it in anymore: "*joking* Oh, I didnt know that if you avoid getting sick for a long while that you owe your immune system a chance to get sick to build immunity!" Carlos chuckles: "Hehehehe! Doesnt that mean I owe my immune system a lot of chances to get sick?! I'll be right back!" Madeline rolls her eyes: "What are you doing, Carlos?!" "Getting myself sick several times because I owe my immune system!" "NOT SO FAST." "Hehehehe! Dont worry! We have the magic and technology to undo whats going to happen to me!" Bray nods: "Carlos is right, Madeline." Madeline calms down immediately: "I was just so worried.." I speak up: "Actually, being worried is still very much valid here because Carlos is willing to make himself suffer in this case.. Carlos, be careful, okay? Please dont do this again." "Dont worry! I wont!" Pirate Blaster shakes his head: "I have a worse feeling about this than the sinking feeling I sometimes get at sea.." Carlos gives us thumbs up: "I got this!" And then, he teleports away before any of us could reply. Seconds later, he returns but not by his own efforts. Instead, it was a clone of Gadget who brought him back. The sentient actual AI explains: "He got himself infected by removing all anti-illness protections he was using and deliberately going to very hot and crowded indoor spaces across the multiverse. Because of that, he was infected multiple times."

The clone then leaves just like that. Dominic takes one look at Carlos and uncharacteristically screams. The scientist runs frantically towards another room: "I'll be back! Im getting a bunch of gadgets just in case we need all of them to fix what he just put himself through!" Bray looks at him and uses analysis magic on his body: "..Carlos.. Weeks have passed by for him between when he left and now.. I can tell. He spaced out when he got sick. When he caught something, he rested for days to recover and then rinse and repeated.. I shall do what I can to help-" But she faints in shock over the information she is still getting due to the spell. Madeline takes over the analysis and faints too. I look at what the analysis spells says, only read a few lines and feel a chill as I yell: "SO MUCH FOR IMMUNITY DEBT!" I refuse to read anymore to avoid fainting. After Dominic returns and Madeline and Bray regain consciousness, the damage done to our ninja friend's body is reversed with magic and science. Once Carlos recovers and the damage has been fully undone, he wakes up and starts singing and dancing chaotically: "LOOOOOOK AT WHAT I DID, I PAID BACK MY IMMUNITY DEBT TO MY IMMUNE SYSTEM! AND ALMOST DIED IN THE PROCESS BECAUSE I GOT SICK A BUNCH OF TIMES!" I sigh: "This isnt very funny at all.. 'Immunity debt' is the kind of term that is made up by scammers and hacks looking to mislead people and breed misinformation. You know, if getting sick is the point to getting immunity from a disease later, it really becomes nonsense when you think about it.

Sure, you might get your immunity in some cases but that doesnt work with rapidly evolving diseases like Covid and even if it does work, does it really mean anything when you could have just avoided getting sick all those times to begin with?"

More Flying Butts: And here we were, just eating lunch outside in a park one day in a warm climate for the heck of it. It was really nice and relaxing until.. Blaze points up to the sky and yells: "Whats that?! Thats not a bird!" I reply as it gets closer: "Thats not a plane!" Barla adds: "Hell no! Its.." Seconds later, we all shout in unison: "MORE FLYING BUTTS!" Carlos adds: "Lets just ignore them and keep eating lunch!" Several of us sweatdrop at his statement. But they came at us a lot faster all of the sudden. Even as some of us attempt to ignore them, they just become flying nuiscances, raving us constantly like a bunch of geese or something. Julia screams: "Hey! Keep your buttcheeks away from my CHURRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS!" I stuff the rest of a pizza slice I hadnt yet finished in my mouth, put my gauntlets on, and pull out my sword. I stare at some of the flying butts with a deadly seriousness on my face before slicing in half as many of them as I could but it wasnt easy. There were just too many of them. Eventually, Carlos had to stop eating, groan about it, and help eradicate the flying butts which were now trying to slaughter us all. A few minutes later, the flyng butts were dead and we could finally return to our lunches.

There will be more one shots like these 3 in future chapters if all goes to plan.