JUNJOU EGOIST

I

THE ALLEY

"Ta... Takahiro..." Akihiko's husky whisper resounded inside Hiroki's head, like a wave against a rocky shore, "Takahiro..." the name ripped off the layers of Hiroki's protective shield, "TAKAHIRO" his voice hitting and cracking it until there was nothing but dust. Why had he done it? Why did he have that fuckingly great idea? How in all hell did he thought that maybe, just maybe, blindfolding him, playing to "be" his beloved, would make Usami look at him? why? WHY? Was Hiroki a masochist? An idiot?

"I brought this on myself! I should have known" sobbed Hiroki trying for the Nth time to clean his face with the sleeve of his shirt. Walking down the street his tears, big as a full moon, clouded his vision. It was a dark and gloomy night, no stars, no light, nothing to smile for and for Hiroki it was even gloomier and darker, because now he knew that no matter how much he prayed, or tried, Usami Akihiko would never love him back. "I should have known!" repeated Hiroki in his head turning in to an empty alley to shiver and cry even harder, holding against the brick wall. He did this to hide his pitiful self from any other people walking around, thought, there was no one in sight, it was either way too late or to early for any proper civilians to be around.

And so sat Kamijou Hiroki in that alley, letting his tears fall, staining his coat and shirt with a life of pain and misery, not hearing, not thinking, of nothing else than his broken heart. So when he heard the laughing, so close to him he couldn't help, flinching, scared for a second, but just a second.

"Hey look at this cutie!" called the unknown voice from deep in the alley, Hiroki didn't move, not caring, if he was going to be robe then it couldn't be helped, he didn't mind that right now. He closed his eyes and waited for the pull and push that was bound to happen but then, the unknown hands lifted him up instead, and before he could open his eyes his arms were moved to his back and a metallic cold cord was tied to his wrists. Locking him up in place.

His instincts flared, there was something wrong, "Hey you really don't look that bad" Hiroki strained his eyes, there was not enough light to make up the face of his aggressors, the guy in front was defiantly blond, his hair long and wavy, his voice was low and cold as iron, but he saw nothing else. Hiroki fought, he twisted his arms and moved away, the guy on his back was shorter than the blond but he was build, Hiroki tried to run and found a third guy blocking his way, he was taller than the two, all dressed in black, blending completely with the alley. "Shit" cursed Hiroki in his mind, this was no robbery and he couldn't have chosen better place to cry. "think and stay alive! think and stay alive!" he repeated to himself and turned around, but the guys were closing a circle around him, "Shit, there's no way" he thought, and eating his pried with a little spoon he breathed in deep, to scream as hard as he could, "H..." but the sound was muted before it reached his lips.

"Oh no sweetie, no crying aloud" The blond had realize in time Hiroki's plan, he jumped against him shoving fast a dusty piece of fabric in Hiroki's mouth, "SHIT" cursed Hiroki chocking at the dirt, feeling his arms constrained against the blonds grip. "GAaaa..." again he tried to fight his way out, struggling against his attackers. He head butted one out of breath and pushed another to the ground with his shoulder, but his arms were still bound and the cord wouldn't yield, making him loose his balance and fall "Mmmfff..." his shoulder crushed against the irregular floor.

"Fucking bastard" groaned the man closer to him rapidly standing from the ground, Hiroki tried to move away but he was instantly detained by one of the man behind him, he couldn't tell which, but he grabbed the cord and pulled his arms twisting them higher. The pain was like cold fire, would they brake his arm?, he tried to struggle once again but it only made his arm cramp like ripping. "Let's see how you like it" one said and before he could lift his eyes one foot was forced, hard against his stomach, the blow took his breath away and pulled even harder his arms, he felt his joints ablaze.

"Hahaha, it was about time for you to stop struggling" laughed the man holding his arms, "but I like the feisty one" Hiroki felt the voice at his ear, his breath touching his skin, his lips brushing the shell of his ear and biting it, it was nauseating. "If you keep behaving, we'll make you feel really good" said one of the other two and grab hold of his hips. Hiroki tried to breath deep, his chest felt tight, he couldn't help gagging every time he felt their lips against his skin. Then one of them ripped off his shirt, the other pulled his trouser, "Now don't move, this is the fun part" Hiroki felt the hard skin pushing, that was it, he decided he didn't care, neither to see their faces or if his arms broke.

"Mmmnn" Hiroki moaned in pain trying to free himself, he hit the floor with his feet pushing the man behind out of his balance, kicking the man in front of him, trashing against his attackers.

"Stop moving bitch!" screamed one of the attackers and his arm was pulled again, around and to the ground, making him fall, but before he could reach the floor another hand closed in to a fist met his chest, crashing against his ribs, causing Hiroki's mind to loose focus for a few seconds, he fell to the ground, his cheek rasping raw against the cement, and then, something hard and big was shoved against his ass making him cry mutely, quickly loosing consciousness.

When he came back the first thing he heard were screams of horror and moans of pain. Hiroki pressed his lips together and licked the inside of his cheek, a metallic flavor flooding his senses. It was not him screaming. So Hiroki opened his eyes, the alley was still dark but there was a dim flashlight light, he slightly closed his eyes focusing on the shadows, another scream was heard and finally he saw it. One of his attackers was running away, followed by another one limping behind, screaming for help, his hoarse voice flying like an echo in the corridor. Hiroki looked around wearily, founding quickly the other crook, unconscious on the floor, lying in a pool of dark liquid. "Blood" he thought, feeling the metallic flavor in his mouth again.

What the hell had happened? His head was hurting, throbbing in pain while something was running through his forehead and down to his neck, "blood" Hiroki mustered, feeling his jaw burning, he knew they had banged his head against the wall at some point. "What…Who the hell happened?" thought Hiroki looking directly at the end of the alley, but even when he tried hard to look, searching for his rescuer, if there was actually one and not just one attacker bigger than the others, he couldn't tell.

"Is there someone there?" called Hiroki, but he couldn't hear nothing beyond his rapid heartbeat and his shallow breathes. Could he be alone? "Is... someone?!" he tried again feeling his throat dry and raspy. But there was no sound, he was moving his mouth again when a small shadow appeared behind some trash cans. "Can you help me?" asked Hiroki trying to see him or her and failing "I can't... move... I... can't move!..." speaking was becoming harder by the second, his consciousness slipping away, but his rescuer had started moving, he NEEDED to be awake "I need... home... home" he tried, but even He couldn't tell if he had said that aloud, in a whisper, or in his head. Whatever the case he would find out later, his world was now peach black and senseless.

- o -

When Hiroki opened his eyes again he saw the light passing through the window of his bedroom, he blinked letting his irises adjust to the light, "I left the curtains open" he thought sighting, but the movement felt forced and painful, his chest was tight and sore. He tried to move his neck but the movement quick and hard cramped his muscle making him close his lips to stifle a moan. "What..." he thought and slowly his mind re-winded, working on the recent events one by one. Akihiko's memory, the alley... the pain, there were attackers, pain again and someone, his savior. The pain was lesser now but it was there, proving everything had happened. It was then that he wondered…

"Where am I?" Hiroki asked aloud and winced, his voice was hoarse and it was painful to talk. Softly he turned his head to the left, quickly recognizing his apartment's walls, the piles of books around his bed. "So he did hear me" sighted Hiroki in relief, but then he realized one more thing…

"Shit!" screamed Hiroki as loud as he could, sitting quickly to look around, the pain in his head started again full force, like a drum throbbing with the power of hundred strikes "Holy shit!" mentally cursed the poor Hiroki closing his eyes and pressing his hand against his forehead. And it was not only his head but his back, his throat, his jaw and mouth, his chest, shoulders and stomach, every muscle ached and burned white red. Again he tried to move but this time slowly, a millimeter at a time he dragged his legs outside the bed, to fall and then, hopefully to stand his body straight and search for the aids kit, when something, really heavy made him stop on his moving and cursing; a really warm and heavy something...

"What in heavens gate..." Looking down and far to the edge of his bed he saw a young boy, sleeping soundly over Hiroki's legs making it impossible for him to move. Shocked, Hiroki didn't scream, his eyes strained on the very good looking stranger, curled in a tight ball at his feet, thin lips smiling, long arms and legs, white skin and a long dark blue hair and fur that matched the color of his fury long tail, and long pointy ears. He looked so cute Hiroki couldn't help blushing, his face between his big hands and arms, covered by his tail. "Ah..." he sighted moving slowly to caress the soft-looking tail, but then, catching himself in that stupid pose and doing that stupid adoring face, he couldn't help but blush redder and kick his savior awake and out of his bed.

"Ahh!" screamed the young pet falling down the bed, face first. "Why did you do that for?" asked the youngster standing up straight, Hiroki gulped in remorse, noticing that he might not have done something wise, the youngster was too big for his liking, probably 1.80 mt or taller, and he could tell that he was far stronger than him, tight muscles and broad back, and there was of course, the tail, ears and now-really-obvious-fangs situation. Hiroki was afraid for sure, but still he scowled, he was so not going to show fear in front of someone younger than him (not that he could actually show fear to someone older). "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" roared Hiroki with all of his strength, it would have worked, thought Hiroki later, if it hadn't being for the coughing and moaning in agony that followed his spur of anger.

"Oh Hiro-san please don't force yourself, even thought I treated all your wounds it is going to take longer for them to heal completely" said the youngster forgetting his own neck pain and running to Hiroki's side to give him some water he had not noticed on bedside table.

"Don't call me that! And you have not answer me!" rasped, no, growled Hiroki as louder as he could without coughing, or dying in pain.

"Oh please calm down Hiro-san" repeated the youngster, not taken aback by Hiroki's anger, offering the glass of water with a smile. Hiroki not letting go of his scowl accepted the glass and drank slowly it's content. "What are you doing in my house?"

"Don't you remember Hiro-san? You asked me to bring you to your home, I didn't knew where it was, so I took the liberty to check your wallet and use your key." the young man explained taking his tail and caressing it, "because you were unconscious I decided not to bath you, but washed your body with a wet towel and then treated all your wounds with your first-aid kit" again the youngster was smiling, his furry tail wagging happily even between this hands, his ears were also perked up straight in attention.

Hiroki eyed him suspiciously but said nothing, using the time to finish the water to examine the handsome stranger in front of him. The youngster's smile was so dazzling, his eyes sparkling like blue stones, "What's your name?" Hiroki asked turning his glare at the empty glass.

"Nowaki, Kusama Nowaki" responded the youngster, his smile never faltering

"Are you hurt?"

"Eh?"

"Because of the fight! ...are you hurt?" asked Hiroki looking angrily for moment at him, but then shifting his focus on the empty glass he felt his cheeks warming, at the corner of his eyes he saw a bushy tail wagging happily. "Oh no!, they did had a gun but the bullets didn't touch me" his voice was proud. Shocked, Hiroki forgot again about his wounds "WHAT THE? YOU COULD HAVE BEING KI... mmnnnnn"

"Hiro-san!" the youngster tried to aid him but Hiroki didn't let him, "how could you be so stupid...!" he growled instead, but the youngster cut him. "But Hiro-san, I couldn't let them hurt you!"

"Of course you could, you know nothing…"

"But I love you!" said Nowaki cutting him again, taking Hiroki's hand in his.

"What?" asked Hiroki dumbfounded "come again?"

"I saw you crying,... before, and when I first saw you I thought you were the most beautiful creature in the world, but when I noticed you were crying I couldn't help thinking, wishing to be able to stop your tears and make you smile." Nowaki pressed his hands around Hiroki's, warmth sipping to the man's cold hands, "I was about to call on you when those guys started attacking, I didn't want to hurt you but I doubted, I was... I wanted to wait... for the perfect opportunity, I'm sorry I didn't act quicker…"

"what are you talking about? You're insane!" said Hiroki gritting his teeth to calm the pain in his throat, restraining his gesticulation when talking "I'm a man! You can't love me!"

"Of course I can Hiro-san, and I do!" tried to respond Nowaki but Hiroki was not listening

"Out! You pervert freak! Out of my house!"

"Hiro-san!" tried Nowaki calling but it was in vane, Hiroki's body trembled, his eyes wide and scared.

Walking towards the door Nowaki turned just one more time to look at his beloved "I'll be back to clean and dress your wounds tomorrow... good night" Hiroki waited, his shoulders rigid, his hands bawled in a fist, groping the sheets tightly, until he heard the door click close, the lock turning on behind the tall pet, faint foot steps walking away, and only then he started to calm down.

"What the hell was that? What's wrong with him? Saying he loves me? He doesn't even know me! And I'm a man! ...true I'm the one in love with a man, but that's different! I at least know Akihiko! …still... he did save my life... maybe I shouldn't have being so hard on him... he did save me, and he was good to me... brought me home, cleaned me, treated my wounds, being so... what? No! I don't care! Better if he doesn't ever come back! That freakinly-gay-stupid-bastard guy!"

Author's note: It might be real editing that I now know or you could take it as just my desire to be "extra" but I changed the "new moon tears" to "full moon" because in a new moon you actually don't the see the moon at all. I also changed the first mention of Usagi-san to "Akihiko" because it's inside Hiroki's memories and Hiro-san would have never called him like that, is either Bakahiko or Akihiko. Hope you liked this new version.