JUNJOU EGOIST
IV
FOUNDATION OF LOVE: COMMUNICATION
"Ah, yeah, I forgot" Hiroki said taking a sip of his hot tea, Nowaki had insisted on coffee being too strong in the morning, "I would like to visit your work places and meet with your bosses" he said, but looking at Nowaki's surprised expression, Hiroki felt his cheeks warming, Damn, how can he act normal after the amazing, scratch that, DIFFERENT Christmas, they shared the night before? "I just heard once, that... you know, that's the proper way... and they do have to meet your... owner..." Hiroki felt his fingers tightening around the cup, the name he had to use in society burned his tongue harder than the hot beverage.
"Hiro-san, that's very nice of you, but they are quite a lot..." started saying Nowaki, staring at his plate but Hiroki waved his hand dismissing, "It's okay, how many?"
"3" Nowaki said, looking one moment to Hiroki and then turning back to his plate "I quit the other 3 that I had after meeting you, because I... wanted to study..." Nowaki's brows knitted together in a grimace, Hiroki took long to realize the situation, for he, his new master, had the ability and disposition to either let him study or deny it, pets were not allowed to study if not with a certificate from their owners. "Study?..." repeated Hiroki as normal as he could, taking a sip of his tea.
"It is my dream to become a doctor," responded Nowaki, his eyes sparkling, but only for a brief moment, "but Pets are not allowed to study at normal schools... and you need credentials for pet University, I was trying to enter the Institute, to take a test and start studying, but they said a dog as big as me couldn't do it without a certificate..." Nowaki's tail was lifeless, close to the wooden legs of his chair, "but it's okay, I'm happy just being with Hiro-san, if you don't mind I would like to return to my other 3 jobs, by right my earnings will be transferred to you so you wont feel my presence so..." At this Hiroki's anger flared, he stuffed his mouth with a large piece of bread and good amounts of Nowaki's special omelet, to silence his raging words, "Nowaki is not at fault" he repeated to himself before passing the food and speaking. "Show me to your daily jobs, to meet your bosses, after that you'll follow me to meet someone, okay?" he said barely able to control the barking in his words. Nowaki smiled as always, understanding Hiroki's anger was not at him but at his situation. "Yes, thank you Hiro-san."
-0-
So, after breakfast Nowaki explained his jobs and marked the places in a map of the city, Hiroki fumed and then created a schedule, visiting first a coffee shop and a construction company, in both places he introduced himself and apologized for the late presentation, apart from Nowaki resigning the job they so generously gave him. Both managers smiled and laughed merrily at getting to know the owner of Nowaki, they couldn't stop saying good things about the gentle Inu, Hiroki felt proud and happy, accepting the business cards and cleverly not denying Nowaki being a mere dog. Just, incredibly big.
The way Hiroki smiled and talked to his co-workers and managers made Nowaki feel incredibly happy, but at hearing he was not going to continue on working for them, he felt rather anxious. Of course he trusted Hiro-san the most, and he knew the young professor was not one to do anything harmful to others, even pets, but he worried either way, and hided as best as he could his confusion, following his owner silently. But, when they stopped at T Medic University for service pets, and heard what Hiroki spoke about with another person he couldn't help but gasp, stunned and speechless.
"Professor Honda, thank you for taking the time to meet me, you're the best teacher I know for service pets, I didn't want to go anywhere else" Hiroki said, walking inside an office in the University, department of Pet services, Nowaki followed, bowing low and long on the frame of the door.
"So, is this the dog?" asked the man called Honda, he was an old man, rather short for his bass voice, with a long beard and round grandfather glasses, that gave him a soft and wise expression. "The one you want me to train?" he asked again, turning his gray head from Hiroki to Nowaki. In response Nowaki tensed and tried hard to stay firm, look healthy but not too strong, so not to look scary. The doctor examined him, slowly walking around him, prodding with a hand his arms, back and ears, looking at his eyes and bearing. "He's quite nice, a regal creature for just a dog I would say" the doctor mumbled taking a notepad and writing down some notes "He'll do find Kamijou, bring him tomorrow from 8 to 3, he'll take classes in this building and practice at the clinic beside."
"Thank you Professor I owe you one" Kamijou said smiling, one of his rare smiles, and taking the old man's hand in his to shake it. "Nah, my own lad is enough trouble, he would not graduate without you" the professor grumbled, his brow twitching at the recollection of his air-headed offspring. "I'll see you around Nowaki-kun" he said, waving his hand and leaving, Nowaki waved back his paw, still stunned with what had being said and done in less than half an hour.
"Hiro-san what did you just do?" asked Nowaki when Hiroki started leaving the office as well.
"Isn't it obvious? You want to be a doctor, for a starting point being a service dog is perfect" Hiroki said, scowling at having to explain himself "You had to quit your 2 jobs but this will provide you with knowledge and a better job after that and..." Hiroki paused at the feeling of strong arms embracing him, blushing he tried wiggle his way out.
"Hiro-san what should I do?" mumbled Nowaki tightening his hold "I'm so happy I could die"
Feeling redder than what was physically possible, Hiroki stopped struggling and touched Nowaki's arm with his hands, returning half way the embrace "Stupid dog..."
-0-
After that, the flower shop owner beamed at hearing Nowaki's new part-time job and classes, accepting easily the change of schedule. "I had always wanted to meet the wonderful owner of such a nice Inu," said the owner patting Nowaki on his shoulder "I knew you couldn't belong to a bad person with such a good character, and this proves it. Pay him well Wa-chan, studying hard and working with passion"
"Yes!" responded Nowaki with a smile brighter than the sun, Hiroki blushed and scowled even harder.
"But it is weird for you not to have your collar on? What happened Wa-chan?" asked the owner looking at Nowaki's neck.
"Ah... I..."
"Oh yeah, he lost it yesterday, so I'll be buying him a new one today" responded Hiroki with a sight of discontent "It became quite a problem, so I'll have to ask you to spare it's use for today," the owner waived his hand in response "It's okay, I was just worried because a dog so big as Wa-chan could be easily mistaken as feral" At the mention of the police Nowaki's shoulder squared, Hiroki felt himself trembling at the thought of them, taking Nowaki to the pound, or worst... "Oh that," Hiroki responded with another sight, turning to his briefcase he pulled a bracelet tag, "this has all my information, I guess for one day is going to be enough"
"Hiro-san it's okay, I can..." Nowaki tried to say, stopping Hiroki's hand, but he refused the touch and placed the bracelet in his wrist. "It's fine Nowaki, you're my pet now"
"But I don't want to impose on you..."
"What are you talking about Nowaki?" Hiroki growled, but looking at the curious look of the shop owner he felt his ears warming up again for the Nth time that morning, "Oh, damn, look at the hour, sorry I have to go!" he exclaimed looking at his wristwatch "Good day Sir, it was a pleasure to meet you. See you home Nowaki!"
"Good bye!" waved the owner happily while Nowaki watched him run and disappear down the street with a worried expression.
Now, being a wolf, Nowaki found it very easy to abstract himself from the world and commit his whole mind to his work, he could also, if desired, divide his mind so he could work accurately and think at the same time, about his problems and concerns. But Hiroki on the other hand, for him, work proved almost impossible, be it ancient culture, literature or language he was not really in to it today, you could say, he was more into canine investigation.
Thinking in what was his pet doing, and how would he wait for him at the apartment. A flash memory of the apron wolf came to his mind and he was lost for a good couple of minutes, enjoying his exceptional photographic memory. The wolf was indeed gorgeous; tall, strong yet not beefy, his long legs, his warm paws, his long pointy ears, the peek of them just a little bit round, framing his handsome face, making it so breath taking.
Hiroki shook his head and bent down to his laptop, "a manuscript doesn't read itself" he tried to remember himself, "It is no use to trouble myself about something like that... something like..." and again his mind was lost in the wonderful depths of Nowaki's blue orbs, typing his own curiosity, he googled about canine pets, so many questions and so many answers, he wrote down a list and made quick notes in a leather bound notebook. Then, looking at the clock in the wall he sighed, it was going to be a long day.
"What to do?" "New owner?" "Rescuing pets?" "Old pets, good pets?" "How to take care of rare species?" "How to take care of big dogs?" "Service dogs?" "Pet law?" "Pet owners legal adoption and pet owner registration information"
By 4:00 in the afternoon Hiroki was positively jumpy, not being able to control himself anymore he stood up and gathered his things unceremoniously. He was lucky the professor had taken a vacation, for whatever rare reason, Hiroki knew the old guy never took those ones, and the task for today had being cut in half, so he could basically do them from his house. He turned off his laptop and closed the office. Back on the streets, Hiroki took his shopping list out and walked to the nearest pet shop, methodically he scanned the racks and aisles, piling the products that catch his eyes. Done with it, he moved to another 2 pet shops, then to a man's clothes store, a supermarket and in to another pet store, this one, highlighted on his to do list, for it was a veterinarian clinic specialized in rare types of breeds.
"I'm more an Inu fan than a neko fan" explained the vet showing Hiroki the photo of his own dogs and Inu, the last one, a hybrid. The moment the doctor had heard of Hiroki's big dog she had jumped and clapped her hands excited. "If it's your first pet you must know some basics, I can give you some beginners guideline books, but it would be better to meet him before anything else it's said"
"Yes please, I can bring him along tomorrow, after work" Hiroki replied meekly, she was the only person who could help him about getting to know Nowaki, and becoming a good owner for the overly gentle wolf, he didn't want his bad temper to ruin him.
"Perfect! I'll give you an appointment right away!"
With an appointment in his briefcase, 1 backpack and 3 plastic bags full of stuff, along with 5 dog's books in his arms he walked towards the train station. It was a rather long trip so he used the opportunity to start his learning on Canines, 101.
"Large dogs are known for its energy, breeds as the Husky, Akita and others would need at least 2 walks around a park to distress his muscles and keep a healthy life," he read and noted in his mind to mention something about that to Nowaki. "Depending on the breed they can be quite vocal. In the case of the Malamute, they tend to be quite silent, but if needed they can get very loud so if possible, inform your tenants and landlords, apart from training your beloved pet, be it an Inu or a Dog you must train him firmly" murmured Hiroki and his brows furrowed, Nowaki was not really loud at all and he was not a puppy anymore, so training would be pointless, right?, plus it sounded so harsh to train someone like Nowaki, at least in Hiroki's mind.
"Mating behavior" stopping dead in his tracks, Hiroki looked around to see if anyone was looking at him. There were few people in the train car and none noticed him, so he breathed in deep and continue on reading. "Inu pets like dogs, are very loyal and attend to their masters in every sense of the word, but if the pet is used for sexual matters you must know they take several mates, the larger the breed the larger the amount of mates" at this Kamijou felt his heart sank, remembering, he could tell Nowaki seemed quite used to the acts of pleasuring someone, would Nowaki leave him? Hiroki didn't want to think about that, closing the book he looked straight to the train windows, watching the lights pass on, "If he wanted to leave me, If he wanted to be with someone else.. would I be able to stop him?"
And while this and other dark thoughts swarm Hiroki's mind Nowaki worked dutifully in the flower shop trying his best to make Hiroki proud of him, by being good at his part-time job. There was no better life for him right now and he knew it, Hiro-san was so cute. Memories played in his mind while he arranged a tulip bouquet, when a girly spat woke him up "yeah, because he was abandoned and I couldn't let it go and die, I felt so much pity for the little thing and kept it, but still it's imposing on me..." the girl wearing a school uniform was looking around the flowers with two of her friends, "But if it's so much of a bother why don't you sell it? Give it to someone else as a present of better of, take it in to a pound or pet shop" one of her friends commented, taking a "don't forget me" in her hands to smell it's soft perfume, "I can't, I'm the one who took it in... I don't know, maybe after it gets healthy..."
"Oh yes, that's right" thought Nowaki, bitterly tugging the flowers together with a red ribbon, he had forgotten about it, "I don't want to impose on you" he had said, hoping for Hiroki to tell him he loved him, but instead he had mentioned his pet status. Hiroki had saved him from being jailed, more over from probably dying, was he forcing himself just because he pitied him?, this thoughts couldn't let him be completely happy. "It's done" called Nowaki smiling at the girls in front of him and they stopped immediately from their bitching to admire not the bouquet, but the handsome pet smiling at them. Deep in his dark thought he could have not guessed the reason of his worries was just in-front of the flower shop, sitting by the window, drinking, or more likely acting as if drinking a cup of coffee.
Hiroki had seeing the coffee shop when he met the owner of the flower shop, not being able to hold his torment he decided to drop by at the "lovely neko café" and drink a steaming hot cup of coffee. He didn't care AT ALL about Nowaki, so he was not there to stare at Nowaki of course, there was no way he could do something like that, as if he was a stalker, more properly a Nowaki-stalker. Thought, watching the two cute girls clinging to his wolf pet he couldn't help pound the table hard with his fist "What the hell do you two think you're doing?! Get your hands off him! Don't let them touch you! Who is your owner?! I won't let you leave for another woman you fucking..." cutting himself in the middle of his mind ranting Hiroki coughed and blushed redder than cherry sweets. Looking up to the flower store again, he locked eyes with Nowaki, startled he looked away and moved out of the window, leaving his coffee, untouched and cold. "No he didn't see me, he couldn't, he doesn't have that good eyesight" muttered Hiroki to himself, trying to calm down his pounding heart. "please let him have bad eyesight"
Going finally to his home Hiroki waited for Nowaki to arrive, every minute weighing on him. "Why is he not coming back yet?" ranted Hiroki moving nervously in the entrance of his apartment "I used to think only sweet happiness lays between lovers, but in reality I'm very very anxious... haven't you noticed yet, you, big idiot wolf!, even though I seem otherwise I'd never let someone I didn't love touch me... If I didn't love...". The word repeated itself in his mind and he finally noticed "Love!... right I haven't said it to him yet... but dammit! How can I say something as embarrassing as that! You Idiot!... that kind of moronic mumbling by idiotic couples has never once crossed my mind yet..." Hiroki looked at his purchases in the table and felt his heart thump hard against his chest "If I could, at least just a little bit... become your support and show you how much I love you"
A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts, moving towards the door he opened it without thinking, Nowaki on the other side smiled bitterly. "Good evening Hiro-san"
"Ah! Yes, good evening Nowaki" responded Hiroki letting the giant wolf enter.
"I brought something to eat, if that's fine" Nowaki said with a pained expression in his eyes, confused Hiroki looked away and mumbled "Yes it's fine" he felt greatly uncomfortable, why was the air so thick with tension? "Oh true! I bought some things, if you don't mind looking at them right now" he said pointing at the plastic bags and Nowaki, curious, turned to see them.
Noticing the change of mood, at being Nowaki's curiosity tipped off Hiroki smiled, ears perked forward and his fluffy tail wagged. "There are some clothes for you to wear for your classes and the work at the clinic, and a few more stylish tags to hold your information, I mean, it doesn't look that good a collar in a clinic you know" explained Hiroki moving beside Nowaki to show him his purchases "Because you carried all your adoption papers it was easy to register you in the system"
"Thank you Hiro-san you didn't have to" responded Nowaki touching the soft fabrics of his new shirts.
"Don't be an idiot is my responsibility now so I had to" Hiroki responded easily but looking at Nowaki's pained expression again he bit his lip in regret. What could he say? What could he do? To prove his own true feelings. Sighting Hiroki took out a small paper bag, unwrapped it and pulled out a black leather collar, with a stormy blue tag that matched Nowaki's eyes. "It's also okay, because I really wanted to" he mumbled so low it was barely perceptible. But to a dog it was enough, hearing it Nowaki's heart throbbed "Hiro-san, am I imposing on you? Am I forcing you to accept me?" taken aback Hiroki stuttered "What? What are you talking about?"
"Is just, that I have never really wanted anything for myself, is not that I was repressing myself or anything, is just that I'm like that, but now" Nowaki said turning to see Hiroki in his eyes "but now, there's something I want so badly, it doesn't really matter the method it would take to have it"
"And what is that?" asked Hiroki thinking about Nowaki's dream of becoming a doctor, but Nowaki stunned him yet again "You, Hiro-san" Hiroki gasped speechless, his heart thundering so loudly he knew Nowaki could hear it too. "This is the very first time I've ever felt this way," continue on Nowaki moving closer "so I'm anxious, it feels so wonderful to be with the one I love, but I'm always wondering how long this happiness will last"
"What the hell?" was Hiroki's only answer, still fighting Nowaki's honest third confession of love.
"The more I love you, the more I wonder if I'm the only one who's happy here... because I'm a pet I know I shouldn't say this but..." explained Nowaki, but Hiroki cut him "Are you a moron?, you want me to be saying that I love you and think about you 24/7?" growled Hiroki his face a dark shade of red.
"No, of course not, I, from the moment I met you I knew you weren't like that" responded Nowaki quickly
"So?"
"But, at the cafe in front of the flower shop, you came right?" Nowaki asked his smile adorning his face again, while Hiroki's face darkened even more. "Ah... ahh... How did you know I...?"
"I saw you looking at me from the window" responded Nowaki, his smile hopeful.
"Nooooooo that can't be! I'll leave, I can't stay here anymore! Leave me, leave!" cried Hiroki feeling his whole body trembling with embarrassment. Trying to escape, he launched to his bedroom, but Nowaki stopped him, surrounding him with his strong arms "Hiro-san I'm really happy that I don't know what to do, being a pet, if my owner, if You, are mine..." whispered Nowaki hotly against Hiroki's ear making him tremble, tears starting to cloud his eyes. "and Hiro-san is not the type to do those kind of things so it is not unrequited right? Is not my mind's illusion, please tell me Hiro-san, you went to see me? Can I continue on thinking that?"
Feeling his heart hammering against his ribcage like a trapped bird, his eyes burning with tears of embarrassment, Hiroki pressed his face against the cold concrete wall and murmured "Yyyeeeah..."
"I'm sorry Hiro-san I know being a pet I shouldn't have..." started apologizing Nowaki, at sensing Hiroki's body trembling, muscles tight and rigid, but Hiroki cut him with one finger to his lips, yet his body and face still against the wall. Nowaki closed his mouth and waited, knowing how much it took for Hiroki to express his feelings. "That's not true" he said, trembling like a leaf "You're not my pet, not really... we're... lovers, so it's fine" at this Nowaki beamed happier and embraced Hiroki again with all his might. "Hiro-san I love you"
-0-
When Hiroki woke up again, he was again in his bed, in his pajamas, cradled by a giant wolf, who, at sensing his movement opened his eyes and smiled. "Sorry Hiro-san I'll leave..."
"No, it's fine" stopped him Hiroki, and turning to look at his bedside table he noticed the black collar. "Oh, yeah, the collar I bought has my information and all" he said touching the embroidery on the dark leather, but looking back at his lover he noticed quickly the tension in his shoulders, his tail again between his legs restless. He touched his neck and Hiroki saw again the silver marks of Nowaki's past. Remembering the expression he had when he had tried to touch it, instinctively a cold chill run through his spine. "Nowaki, I know you have suffered, and you might not want to talk about that right now, but I'll wait until you're ready" Hiroki said, taking the collar and putting it on his paws.
"Hiro-san, I'm sorry" tried to say Nowaki, but Hiroki again cut him with a slender finger to the wolf's thin mouth "I don't mind you not using it ever, you need to have it so no one will ever try to do you any harm. But you can use my tag, and have the collar in your pocket. For me, is enough if you know this is your home now"
"Hiro-san!" Nowaki felt his heart beat fast and hard, tears clouding his eyes.
"Just one thing," said Hiroki looking down and strangely pained "If you want... If you ever desire to"
"What?"
"Nothing! Forget it!" Hiroki shouted back, laying down and covering his body with the bed covers
"Tell me Hiro-san please" pleaded Nowaki pressing his body against Hiroki's, making him tremble and sniff under the covers "It's just that I read in a book... that dogs are loyal but they search for many mates... several in fact... so if you want to..." but then it was Hiroki's time to be cut by Nowaki "Ahh Hiro-san!" he beamed, driving his arms under the covers and around his lover's waist, making him gasp in surprise. "Hiro-san I'm sorry I have to repeat it, but I'm a wolf" he said, but when Hiroki didn't say anything he explained "I'm not a dog, we're very different from dogs, I mean, wolves chooses one in their pack and only breed with that decided mate, we mate for life"
"Eh...?"
"I wont go searching for a mate, ever"
"Ah, oh... okay..." mumbled Hiroki in acknowledgment, feeling his face red and hot, steam coming out of his head. "Waaa I'm so happy you got worried about that!" beamed Nowaki, merrily bending to shower Hiroki with kisses and nips "What are you doing you dumb-ass!" shouted Hiroki back, his whole body red with embarrassment "No! leave me! Go away!"
Nowaki couldn't be any happier, and even thought Hiroki knew he wouldn't ever be as embarrassed as today he also knew he had never being any happier either.
Author's note: the more I work on this chapters the more different they become to how they were done. Thou I hope they remain as faithful to my image back then and they continue on being interesting and lovely to read through.