JUNJOU EGOIST
V
GRAY WOLF
Nowaki was reading a book in bed when a knock sounded softly, the door opened and his beloved Hiro-san appeared.
"I'm cold" Kamijou said without looking his way, Nowaki just smiled and moved to the side, letting Kamijou join him in bed. As a wolf he knew he produced far more heat than a regular human, specially so than his Hiro-san, but he knew how difficult it was for Kamijou to express himself and knew, or at least hoped, the weather and season was only an excuse to cuddle in bed, although there wasn't so much cuddling, more like just sleeping side by side, but that was a great step for the "demon" Kamijou.
"What do you have tomorrow?" Kamijou asked still avoiding eye contact
"Work, I have the night shift, but I will wake you up" Nowaki had to contain his desire to embrace him, it wouldn't be welcomed.
"don't worry, I'll wake up on my own"
"It's fine, tomorrow I have to make breakfast either way" Nowaki said and allowed his hand to caress Kamijou's head, making Kamijou's brows twitch and for a moment he seemed to groan something but decided to turn to his side, his back towards Nowaki, "Good night" he grumbled covering his whole body with the bed covers.
Nowaki took a minute to lay down to sleep, struggling to rein his thoughts, worried partially over his own limitations as a pet, but also dreading the meaning of Kamijou's attitude. He did love him, Kamijou indeed loved him, right?
- o -
"Nowaki you idiot!" was the first thing Nowaki heard from his beloved in the morning, "You said you would wake me up!" he growled coming out half dressed and angry.
"Of course I did, like 20 times" he responded even thou he knew Kamijou wouldn't really listen, he was a very difficult person to wake up.
"Liar, I don't remember it at all" Kamijou argued back while buttoning his shirt, the assistant professor moved around the house multitasking to leave as soon as possible
"Would you have breakfast" Nowaki asked even thou he knew the answer, this scene had happened multiple times already. So he stopped cooking and moved to meet with Kamijou at the entrance corridor. "Hiro-san" he called, and when Kamijou turned to see him Nowaki held Kamijou's face in his hand, and caressing his cheek he kissed him softly, almost a peck on the lips, "Itterashai" he told him smiling, but when he opened his eyes Kamijou's face looked troubled, almost annoyed. The assistant professor didn't linger, "I'm leaving" he barely said and left quickly. What had happened? Nowaki's ears lowered down, his tail became listless. Was there something wrong?
He tried to clear his thoughts while cleaning the house but he could only recall Kamijou's face. In a way he knew that if something wasn't right or if Kamijou didn't actually want something he would say it, but, how much was too much? Was he tiring of living with a pet? Had he imposed himself on him? "Is he happy living with me?"
"I'm a good pet, right?" Nowaki knew his abilities were on par with many household pets, cleaning, laundry, cooking, all the usual tasks he could do them without a problem. But, was he asking for too much? After Kamijou had asked him to come back he thought their relationship would develop and they would be "lovely dovely" but nothing of that sort had happened. Kamijou was stuck everyday with work and he himself could barely breath with work and his Pet Health Assistant studies. If anything you could say things had gotten worse.
Forlorn with his terrible thoughts Nowaki jumped at the sound of a phone call. It was Kamijou, hearing his darling's voice made Nowaki smiled unconsciously, specially when he asked if he could bring an envelope to his work place, there was nothing he loved more than being useful to Kamijou, helping him in any way. So he said it was no problem, hang up and got ready to leave.
"There is no reason to dread something immaterial, I have to trust Hiro-san" he thought on his way to the university, he tried to clear his mind yet again on his way, but kept replaying the terrible morning. When he reached the entrance, Kamijou was already running to meet him. Nowaki smiled broadly.
"Thank you"
"It was no problem" and Nowaki meant it, remembering something he asked "I'm going to be buying groceries today, is there anything you would like to eat tonight?"
"Ohhh I would like some curry" a voice said in a sing song voice, Nowaki looked up to find one of Kamijou's co-workers, he had seeing that person a few times, his Kamijou seemed rather close to him.
"It's forbidden to be lovey dovely at the entrance" professor Miyagi continued and Nowaki noticed Kamijou's red ears, he was blushing deeply.
"we're not!" Kamijou retaliated
"You shouldn't spoil him too much, it goes up to his head easily" the professor said and Nowaki almost worried Kamijou would pop a vein.
"when have I done that?" Kamijou asked
"Ah, my Hiroki has left the nest" the old professor said and this drew Nowaki's attention, from all the banter there was something about this one…
"don't call me by my name" Kamijou grumbled and Nowaki felt anxious yet hopeful, the name meant something, it was important, it was about time, right? It should be okay, right? Kamijou would let HIM call him by his name because it was him, his partner, right? Not Hiro-san but Hiroki
"Stupid Hiroki!" cried the old professor running away with a very dramatic pose.
"Ah, don't worry about him, that person acts like that all the time, anything that you cook is gonna be fine" Kamijou said drawing Nowaki's attention back to the present. But his mind had remained on the same question so he voiced it out without thinking, "Hiro-san, is it okay to call you Hiroki?"
"Stop that" Kamijou said instead of anything Nowaki had hoped, and without any explanation he moved back "Thanks for this" he said and left.
Nowaki stayed where he was for what seemed like hours, replaying Kamijou's answer, he felt his heart hurting and while he tried to make it small he couldn't. "Because when my heart is doubting even the smallest thing that could make others laugh becomes a serious scar on me." If he wasn't important enough to call him by his name was he even special? What is the place in Hiro-san's heart for me? He could never ask such childish things but he couldn't help his nature either, he wanted Hiro-san to be his and only his, to be his mate. Am I doing enough to be by his side? there should be a set of scores, so you know when you fail, so I can know how much I need to improve. I want to be at the same level of him as soon as possible
Work was a calming imposition, allowing him to break from his tormented thoughts and focus on protocols and his practice. But when he hanged his white coat at the end of the day the memory of today's issue resurfaced it's ugly head. That's when he received a message from Kamijou. Nowaki smiled immediately and run to meet with his beloved, forgetting all his troubles.
"Did you finish your job" he asked and Nowaki nodded happily, "I just finished it, did something happen? Its rare for Hiro-san to come pick me up"
"nothing in particular I just wanted to eat out" the assistant professor answered.
Nowaki wished he could hold hands but he settled by walking beside him, "Then, there's a family restaurant we can go nearby" he was about to point the direction when the dreaded name sounded loud and clear, "Hiroki!" when Nowaki turned around Kamijou was already by the side of a car, a beautiful red sports car driven by the famous author Usami Akihiko.
Nowaki's mind rushed with blood, he could hear it on his ears to the point he could barely hear what they were talking about. Why do I have to see your face at this time? Why are you allowed and not me? What do you have that I lack? Why are you more important than me? Is it because I'm a pet?
Without thinking Nowaki took Kamijou's hand and pulled hard, walking, then running both away from the author. "even thou he gets angry with other people he lets HIM use the name…"
"Nowaki why did you do that? Nowaki!" Kamijou demanded but Nowaki said nothing, annoyed he pulled his hand free and asked again, "what the hell was that?"
"I'll buy you peaches, apples, grapes, anything you want!" Nowaki blurted out,
"What, am asking you why you interrupted my conversation?"
"It's just that…" Nowaki tried to explain, but Kamijou didn't let him, "Stop it, don't behave like a child" and that was the issue, his behavior, his shameful desires and his lack of limits.
They still went to eat, but anything Nowaki ate had no taste, it felt as if he was biting mouthfuls of ash and dirt. He felt like crying and screaming. When they returned home Kamijou got in to the shower and left Nowaki to battle his thoughts in the living room.
And he tried, he tried hard to calm his heart and see the solution, but the more he tried the harder his heart beat, the darker his thoughts became. His breed's nature clouding all thoughts. He needed his mate, he needed to own and mark him and…
"What's going on? Lately you have been behaving strangely" Kamijou's words woke him up from his thoughts.
"Oh, sorry, it's nothing" he answered back
"Nowaki, look at me when you're talking to me" Kamijou grumbled, but Nowaki couldn't meet his eyes, he thought his shame would kill him if he did. "I'm sorry, honestly there's nothing…"
Then Hiroki took his head in his hand, turned off the tv and pulled his head to the right, meeting his eyes, face to face. "I want this person to be mine, and to be the only one to mess him up and leave him my mark"
"Hiroki" he called and his emotions pushed through like a torrential wave "Hiroki, Hiroki, Hiroki"
"Don't call me like that" Kamijou answered but Nowaki wouldn't listen
"Hiroki, Hiroki"
"I already told you not to call me like that!"
"why? Usami-san can call you like that, why can he do it and not me? What am I missing? What do I need to do, if I know what am lacking I'll change it immediately…" Nowaki screamed till a pillow was pushed to his face and he heard Kamijou saying "calm down"
And he did, somehow, shame covering his soul thou.
"Why are you so angry? Akihiko is not the only person that calls me that" Kamijou put the pillow down and moved to see the floor, suddenly flustered, "Correct me if am wrong but, does this have anything to do with reaching my level?" he asked, "you know, I thought about telling you this before, but, you don't have to get over me, think about it, its natural for me to be one step ahead of you since I'm older than you, even more so if you get ahead of me my pride would not be able to forgive you" The words coming out faster and faster. "I also want to keep that so that I can keep you tied… sorry even I don't know what am talking about, I can't be wrong you give your all.. and that… that's why I love... you… or something like that"
Suddenly Kamijou stood up and threw himself towards the wall, red covering his whole face and ears, small shivers running through his body, "you could never say something like that, only adult men can say something like that" he croaked, trying to hide his face against the wall.
"Ah… I love this person" Nowaki thought, suddenly all his pain and suffering disappearing
"Nowaki… I'm cold"
"and this feeling has no limits"
Nowaki embraced Kamijou from behind, surrounding his chest with his arms and placing kisses on his neck and cheek. Looking at his face Nowaki decided to open up some more, "I was worried that you didn't like me touching you" Kamijou's brow furrowing slightly, "why?"
"Because you wouldn't react to my actions" then suddenly Kamijou separated himself from him and grew a lovely shade of red "that's cause the goodbye kisses, the good night kisses, the welcome home kisses, when did we become a just married couple?! Kamijou said, pushing against Nowaki's chest, "I know what you're thinking, surely you're thinking of getting in the tub together, getting cuddly during the day, watching fireworks in the balcony, getting steamy while wearing yukata, you're embarrassing me! Pervert!" Kamijou exploded, unable to turn redder than how he was.
Nowaki could only chuckle, his heart soaring with love, "I'm sorry but I have never thought anything like that, I get it now, that's what you want us to do" he said and embraced Kamijou again, while the other moved away and cried "that's wrong!"
"I'll do it, I'll do it all"
"why are you doing exactly what I don't want you to do!" Kamijou tried again unsuccessfully to move Nowaki's arms from him, when Nowaki took his face and turned him softly to kiss, this time deepening said kiss.
They didn't reach the bedroom, choosing the sofa over the floor Nowaki took Kamijou's sweater and shirt off, and pushed him down to kiss again. His hands traveled all over Kamijou's body, caressing and massaging his way down. He also moved his kisses down a cheek, his ear and neck, sucking till the skin was red, for a second he felt the compulsion to mark him but breathing deep and long he kissed the area and moved lower. Opting to suck on a pebbled nipple, making Hiro-san cry out in surprise and pleasure.
"Nowaki, please, just… Nowaki" Knowing what his beloved needed Nowaki helped him pull his trousers and boxer away, taking his manhood fully in his mouth, earning a louder cry of pleasure. He kept sucking while his hand explored bellow, prepping Kamijou's hole. Thankfully there was a discarded bottle of lube in between the pillows. When he inserted one finger Kamijou's moans grew louder and he placed his hand on top of his head. "Nowaki stop, I can't… please" For a moment Nowaki evaluated continuing but Kamijou had work the next day, it wouldn't do to excerpt him too much. So he let go of his dick with a pop and removed his fingers from him, replacing them with his own manhood. "Hiro-san, I love you" he said and penetrated him slowly, Kamijou held his breath and tried to grow accustomed to the intrusion, so Nowaki helped him with kisses, tweaking one abused nipple hard, trying to make him loose himself to the pleasure of their love making.
"Nowaki, Nowaki…" called Hiro-san and moaned hard against his chest, cumming. Nowaki followed him, climaxing fast inside him. "I love you Hiro-san"
- 0 -
The sky was illuminated with the lights of the fireworks. The lights of the house were off and on the balcony Kamijou sat with Nowaki by his side. The wolf's tail was softly swishing from one side to the other on Kamijou's lap, he caressed it lovingly. "They are beautiful" he said looking at the lights firing in circles. "You are beautiful" he heard Nowaki say and turning to see they looked into each others eyes, leaned forward and kissed.
"I love you Nowaki" Kamijou mumbled and took a few seconds to realize he wasn't at home, neither was he wearing a yukata and enjoying the fireworks. Instead he was daydreaming at the office, thankfully without the terrible old professor around but still. Kamijou felt like digging a whole and getting in forever and ever. "You stupid Nowaki" he grumble, face aflame with embarrassment. Yet in a deep side of his heart he hoped Nowaki would keep his word and watch the fireworks with him, together.
Author's note: Hi, this is the last chapter of the year, to be honest I'm not 100% happy with it but if I search for perfection I'll never deliver anything, so here's the best I could do. We're reaching the "good stuff" with ALL the drama that it will entail, hope you are ready for that. Either way, thank you for reading, would love to read some comments about it, if you can, if not all good, see yah in the next installment.