JUNJOU EGOIST

VIII

CHANGES

Kamijou Hiroki had never particularly liked changes. From early in his childhood he noticed a lack of spontaneity, preferring to follow a strick routine and schedule for every day activities, from the simplest of them like brushing his teeth, to the more serious ones like school, university or now in his adult age, work. He thrived in the boundaries of his routines and they allowed him a certain peace and happiness that made his life good, not perfect, but good enough. That was of course, before Nowaki appeared. The kind and loving wolf had entered his life like a storm leaving no place of his house or heart untouched. From the order of his books in the living room shelves to the rhythm of his afternoon routine, everything had been fumbled with and changed into something he couldn't recognized but in the same way could not by the love of Gods return back to "normal". And really, at this point, what was normal? Because after months and months of cohabitation Kamijou Hiroki felt as if he had known the wolf for years and years and he couldn't live without the gentle giant. It was at times unbearable how his schedule could be so easily moved just by the sweet attention of said giant, but it would ultimately end with so much love, why would Kamijou deny himself such happiness? Specially when it came to his battered heart, after so much anxiety and unrequited love, having someone pour so much of themselves to him, shower him with so much love, Kamijou knew he would get stabbed in the back if he ever refused such good luck.

So, Kamijou accepted change. It wasn't immediate, and he certainly fought it, but in the end he wanted what was best for the wolf, and whatever kept them together. Visits to vet were added to his schedule, pet diet books were added to his kitchen cupboard, space in his home was cleaned, created or added for Nowaki's personal items, and his daily life was affected. In his morning routine, with goodbye kisses, a breakfast for two and short conversations; during his days with text messages, trying hard not to sound love sick or stupid but he knew he failed miserably constantly, the bento his beloved wolf prepared for him, the ride back home, sometimes waiting to see Nowaki, other times with said boyfriend coming to pick him up, always wondering how the wolf was doing at work or with his studies, or in general. In his night routine, the most affected actually, with late nights of working, reading or writing with the wolf by his side, simple nights of cleaning and cooking, or long nights of love making and pillow talk. Something the professor denied he needed or wanted, even thou his heart melted each time Nowaki embraced him, cuddled against him and whispered sweet words.

Change, Kamijou thought, could be a good thing, and for the most part, it was, and many months ahead he would still think the same way, but for a bit, certain changes, frustrated, angered and worried him.

It all began as simple as a strange ache or throb. They usually came at the end of a working day and a short back self massage or rubbing the area would sooth it out. All good, no harm done. The next week the aches came back a tad stronger, still short, still disappearing with a bit of hand pressure. Still manageable. Still good. Then, the ache started to happen throughout the day, they would last a minute or two and they would make Kamijou hold his breath. Massaging didn't help as much but stretching seemed to lessen the burden till the pain eventually went away. It was the end of the semester, Kamijou was packed with papers to grade, students to guide through their thesis, and a few investigation references to review. He had no time to feel ill, but when he thought about it, it was definitely the source of the problem. He was getting old, he was overtly stressed, with only a few hours of sleep a day and working even on Sundays from home, all that was obvious the reason why his back was hurting so much, but it also meant the pain would gradually go away as the piles of work diminished and the semester came to an end. He could make it, he could certainly power through it. All was, still good.

Till it wasn't. It happened one day when he was gathering materials in the reference room, to his misfortune he was the only person in the room when the pain started, and unlike the previous ones it took his breath away from the beginning, it was no longer just on the lower back, it spread all over his belly, running down his legs and cramping. Kamijou lost his strength and fell to the floor on his knees, clutching his stomach while trying not to loose consciousness. It was a testament to how much pain he was feeling that it didn't cross his mind to kick himself for pushing his health aside for so many weeks, allowing the pain to increase to that level of gravity. Instead he couldn't think, he could only gasp and choke and bare the throbbing, burning pain.

When he finally recovered his senses and the pain lowered down to a dull ache he cleaned his sweaty forehead, leaned to his left against the metal shelve and used it to sit, legs spread and back fully resting on the books lining the metal shelves. Kamijou breathed raggedly, his eyelids heavy now that the rush of adrenaline was subsiding. He moved his hand to softly caress his belly, trying to feel if anything was ruptured, there was no such sign, but how would he know?, really. When his breathing was finally back to normal he took his cellphone out; opening the calls app he looked at the recent phone numbers he had called, Nowaki's the most recent. His finger hovered over his beloved's name, he even pressed on it, but when the option to call or message appeared he tapped back and closed his phone. It made no sense to worry the wolf, the pain was gone… almost, and it was no longer an emergency, he was going to go to a clinic, but he wasn't helpless to do so. So he pocketed his phone, used the shelve as leverage, and stood slowly up. The world seemed to twist for a few seconds but he never lost his balance and soon he was walking towards his office. Thankfully it was already time to close the office, since professor Miyagi was not present he took his messenger bag, took out his keys and locked the door behind himself.

He debated only for a minute or two on whether he should take the bus or a taxi, his body's exhaustion won the debate, there was no way he could withstand the bus ride. In 30 minutes he was at the nearest hospital, coincidentally, Nowaki's hospital. Of course he was going to the North side of the hospital which was dedicated to humans, Nowaki was on the South side of the hospital, meant specifically for pets. The outpatient clinic was open and to Kamijou's relief, an old acquaintance of his was working that day. Kamijou had been seeing doctor Kurada Kyo for more than 10 years now, he trusted his expertise and efficiency, and he felt comfortable, since they had known each other since his college days. Unfortunately it also meant he felt somehow guilty when said doctor asked what brought him to his office. Kamijou grumbled how the pain started, trying to gloss over the many weeks it had been ongoing and stressing more on how "sudden" the most recent pain had been. Of course Kuroda sensei knew him quite well and asked pointed question, how many days? Since when? How strong? Did you take any medication? Did you checked with other providers? Why did you wait till now?

It always gave him a a bit of humility, his visits to Kuroda sensei. At how, no matter how many degrees he could get, how up the university ladder he could go up, he was always such a mess at taking care of himself.

Thankfully Kuroda sensei didn't take too much time berating him over his lack of self preservation, instead he quickly examined him, made some quick order for labs, an ultrasound and to start an iv, since he seemed to be dehydrated. Another notch on the shameful list of mismanagement of his body. Kamijou wondered if he should message Nowaki but decided not to, the wolf had a 24 hour shift that would end the next day at 11am, there was no point on stressing the wolf for something, finally! under examination, since it was still not under control, and something he couldn't do anything about, unless the wolf left work early and Kamijou wouldn't allow such a thing, again, he was fine, in a safe place, no reason to panic.

After 3 hours of waiting the results came back in a way, unceremoniously "normal". His organs were not swollen, his blood levels were low, anemic, but not severely. He was dehydrated but again, nothing serious, and while his liver and kidney functions were a bit higher than normal there was no signs of infection or damage.

"There could be several things happening, stress is one of them" Kuroda said, offering the result papers for Kamijou to take and review, "It could have been a kidney stone or gallbladder stone, they cause intense pain when you pass them and you might even bleed because of them" doctor Kuroda typed on his computer, printing a series of 3 small pieces of paper. "I will send you with some vitamins, iron supplements and pain medication" he stamped the orders and handed them to Kamijou, "I also want you to be on the lookout for other symptoms, such as nausea, vomit, diarrhea, blood in urine or stool, fever; if the pain is greater than 7 or 8 in a scale of 0 to 10, if you have a fever greater than 101 or you feel like you're going to loose consciousness again, call an ambulance or go to the emergency room"

"yes, thank you"

"I also want you to follow a better diet, you have always been on the brink of death, you have to take care of yourself, specially now that you're no longer in your 20's. It is the perfect time to create healthy habits and prepare your body for your old age"

"...I know" Kamijou mumbled, head down, looking to the floor.

"No you don't, you're irresponsible with your body, you might be a genius in literature…"

"I'm no genius"

"shush, but you're obsessive, workaholic and again, irresponsible" Kuroda stood from his chair and walked around his desk, Kamijou stood up in response, folding the orders to place them inside his messenger bag. "I want you to come back in 2 weeks for another round of lab work, if you have another episode like this inform me, we can schedule a CAT scan, I think maybe I will schedule one either way, they can show us things the ultrasound might not expose as easily" Kuroda took Kamijou's hand in his and shook it, a habit he had acquired overseas, "Good to know you're still alive, Let me know if anything happens"

"Yes, sorry, see you later" Kamijou's brows furrowed but he managed a troubled smile.

"Two weeks Kamijou, if I don't see you in 2 weeks I'll tell my assistant to harass you every day" Kuroda warned him while walking back to his desk, Kamijou laughed, Kuroda would actually dare to do such a thing, and he had met the assistant, she was a very bright, no nonsense, strong willed woman, she would no doubt spam his inbox with messages and call him every hour till he schedule the appointment. "I will, see you in 2 weeks"

At home, maybe because of how exhausted he was, he felt no inclination to eat, he tried a few pieces of bread but couldn't, it was not nausea perse, just a weird sensation of disgust that kept going throughout the night, the whole next morning and afternoon. Kamijou was not really worried, since he was drinking water without problem, and he had been able to munch a few pieces of a banana. The throbbing ache came back a few time during the day, but it was never as strong and it went away easily. He didn't even had to stop working.

Because he was still ashamed of his "irresponsible" behavior, Kamijou decided to go home on time, going home early was too much to ask but he could certainly finish grading in the comfort of his sofa. When he arrived Nowaki was still asleep so he put his bag on the sofa, the pile of papers on the coffee table, and he took ingredients out to cook something for the wolf. Nowaki's and Kamijou's meals were in many ways similar, the wolf just tended to have a higher protein intake, with not so many vegetables or grains, but a lot more seeds. The seasoning was probably the biggest difference, since Nowaki shouldn't consume high amounts of salt, garlic, onions, among others.

So, he got cooking. When the pot was boiling Kamijou smelled the stew and his mouth watered, he usually never cared much for Nowaki's food, he liked adding a lot of soy sauce and garlic to his meals, but this time the stew smelled wonderful, and he had not eaten anything filling in more than a day now, maybe that was why he was craving it so much. In any case, it wouldn't affect him to have a bite or two, would it? So he took one bite size piece of meat, placed it on a small bowl and popped it into his mouth. Kamijou practically moaned with delight, it was so delicious! He took a regular bowl and took for himself 3 servings of meat, potatoes, carrots and herbs. And since the stew had worked marvelously on his stomach he decided to add to his dinner a portion of Nowaki's seeds and fruits.

"Hiro-san, do you want to become a wolf?" Kamijou jumped a bit, with a full mouth of meat, when he heard the wolf's voice. He was facing the window, so he didn't notice Nowaki entering the room, "you're eating my food?" he felt somewhat embarrassed over eating the wolf's meal, even thou it was good for human consumption. "I thought you didn't like how bland it is?"

"I never said bland" Kamijou grumbled after he was able to swallow, trying to ignore the warmth of his ears, "I'm just trying to be more healthy and your food is healthy enough"

"I guess so" Nowaki went to the kitchen and lifted the pot's lid, opening his mouth he closed his eyes and "smelled" the stew. Kamijou had noticed him doing that from time to time, and it made him curious sometimes, specially when he did so in the middle of their… love making.

"I have been feeling rather ill this days, and the doctor said to change my diet so…"

"Ill? When?" Nowaki turned immediately to face Kamijou, so he regretted making the comment, the wolf's worry knew no bounds when it came to his Hiro-san's well being.

"It was just some stomach ache" he said, even thou he knew ache was a far cry from the events on the reference room. "decided to go for a check up, they did some labs and an ultrasound and all is good, I just need a change… just to improve my nutrition"

"and now?" Nowaki walked towards the table and taking Kamijou's chin on his hand, guided his face up, for Kamijou to look him in the eyes.

"I'm fine, I'm taking some supplements and I'm gonna be eating more healthy, that's all"

At this Nowaki smiled and moved his hand to pet Kamijou's head, "That's probably because Hiro-san tends to frequently lose himself in his work"

"Hey!" Kamijou knocked Nowaki's hand and growled, "don't mock me"

"I'm not, Hiro-san is amazing" Nowaki beamed and Kamijou felt the warmth on his ears spread to his neck and cheeks.

They ate and washed the dishes in comfortable silence, Kamijou graded a good portion of his pile of papers while Nowaki read a thick book on pet medicine. But as the time to prep for bed neared Kamijou started feeling nervous, a hollow yet tingly sensation in his stomach that seemed too similar to the "butterflies" some romantic novels loved to use when describing romantic emotions. Kamijou's brows furrowed deeply, he was too old for such things. But the feeling wouldn't go away, and stealing glances to the wolf didn't help.

"I''m going to shower" Kamijou grumbled, stopping himself from stomping his foot and cry he needed a cold shower, thou maybe it wasn't such a bad idea… the cold shower.

"Oh! I have your towel Hiro-san, took it by mistake the other day, let me grab it for you" matching words to action Nowaki stood up, left his book on the coffee table and walked towards his room. After a few minutes he came out with a folded towel in his hands, smiling tenderly as always. "here you go Hiro-san" but the moment Kamijou took the towel a strong smell, herbal and musky drifted out and surrounded the young assistant professor.

"Hiro-san" Nowaki's voice trembled, and Hiroki opened his eyes, when had he closed them? And looked at the wolf in front of him, his shoulders were tense, he seemed to be breathing hard and his eyes had a depth that seemed to swallow him. "Hiro-san" Nowaki called again breathless and took Kamijou by the shoulders, pulling him towards him. Kamijou felt his knees become weak, it was nidicolous but he couldn't look away from Nowaki's eyes.

"Nowaki I… I" the wolf closed his eyes and opened his mouth, breathing in slow and long. When he finally opened his eyes again the black had stretched so wide there was almost no blue left.

Without words they responded to each other's needs, they entered the bathroom in a chaos of flying clothes and hungry kisses. It took a great deal of concentration for Nowaki to reach for the lube bottle on the shelve and open his Hiro-san up. Made in no way easier by Hiroki's husky moans and pleads.

"Enough, Nowaki… enough"

"It must be enough" thought Nowaki, removing his fingers from Kamijou's tight entrance. "Hiro-san I love you" he had to say it, Nowaki always felt the need to say it, in response Hiroki had to breath deep, to hold down his orgasm, Nowaki's voice, his words, it was so overpowering. So when he thrust, so hard and deep, Kamijou let his body go and climaxed. Quickly Nowaki took a punishing rhythm, massaging his inner walls, hitting his gland over and over and over again, making him cry out in painful pleasure, shooting ropes of semen over the tiled floor. Kamijou couldn't hold his body straight anymore, so Nowaki hold him upright, penetrating him hard enough to lift him up from the floor, When suddenly, Kamijou felt something growing inside him, it was not deep, it was near his opening yet not at the exact ring of muscles. The growth was hard and it made the channel impossibly tight, rubbing and pressing on his already abused prostate. Kamijou opened his mouth but no sound came out, he orgasmed but he shoot no cum, his whole body shook with pleasure. Then he heard Nowaki moan against the skin of his throat, before biting on it, while something hot filled Kamijou.

"We didn't use a condom" Kamijou thought briefly, but his mind was muddled, slow, and the hotness felt so good he almost came again.

When he recovered his consciousness he was in the bathtub, relaxing in hot water, cuddling, his back to Nowaki's chest, while the wolf caressed his body, cleaning every crevice of it.

"what happened?" he whispered, since he knew his voice could not make anything louder than that

"I'm not sure Hiro-san, I think it was my heat, but it's out of season" Kamijou could tell Nowaki was troubled, his caresses were faltering and his voice was not as strong.

"the books say wolves have two heat cycles" he rested his head on Nowaki's shoulder, closing his eyes to relax

"...I also knotted" Nowaki's voice sounded ashamed, Hiroki's brows furrowed and he tried to move around but something felt tight, he was still… oh… ohhhhh

"that's not in the books" Kamijou immediately blushed, hard and all over his body, making him more conscious of Nowaki's length inside him, the seemingly round knot still pressing against his prostate.

"It is not common Hiro-san, I know because of a class on exotic animals I had in the university… I shouldn't have done it, it's too hard on your body Hiro-san, I'm sorry" Hiroki knew the wolf's ear were cast down, he wanted to touch them, but he chose to take Nowaki's right hand in his and kiss it.

"you didn't hurt me, I'm fine" when Nowaki didn't answer he rested his head again on the wolf's chest, "what do you think caused it?"

"I don't know, but something changed in you, your smell…"

"what? I stink?"

"No Hiro-san" and he heard a chuckle, Kamijou smiled thinking his Nowaki finally relaxed a bit, "It's just that usually you have a certain smell, or essence, that is normal for every creature, and very particular for each creature" Nowaki returned to massaging his muscles, "The smell can vary depending on the diet, health and emotional state. And this time your smell was different, much stronger, I… somehow it triggered my heat, I think"

"oh…" Hiroki lowered his head and nibbled on his lip, Nowaki turned Hiroki's head to the side, trying to see his face, "Hiro-san?"

"you…?"

"what is it Hiro-san?" Nowaki tried to turn Kamijou's face again but the older man shook it and kept looking down, "did you… like… when… you… did you…?" Hiroki was unable to put his words in order "forget it!"

"please tell me Hiro-san" Nowaki embraced Hiroki, pressing a soft kiss on his shoulder, "Hiro-san" he called, low and Kamijou's body trembled, it was so unfair how he could make him react like that, Kamijou turned to see Nowaki and the wolf stole a long kiss from him.

When they broke apart Kamijou noticed Nowaki's eyes were wild again, he felt him move inside, making him moan.

"Hiro-san I'm sorry" Nowaki said breathlessly

"It's fine, Nowaki, I need you too" Kamijou tightened his muscles, trying to coax Nowaki's pleasure out, the wolf's answer didn't delay, moving upwards in short fast thrusts.

"Hiro-san, I love you, I love you"

Nowaki woke up first, like always, but unlike most days he had forgotten to set their alarm clock, and worse of all, it was already late morning.

"Hiro-san is late! you're late for work!" Nowaki tried shaking the young assistant but to no veil, he was about to check for a pulse when finally Kamijou groaned and opened his eyes.

"Shut up Nowaki, I already message them, I'm taking the day off" his voice cracked even when he was whispering and a deep red tint colored his cheeks.

"I'm sorry I…"

"It's fine, I told you I also… needed… you" Kamijou's voice became softer and softer the more he spoke till it was only Nowaki's wolf hearing what helped him discern what his lover was trying to say. "I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM" Kamijou cried out, trying to hide his face, but when he stood up his legs refused to listen and folded under him; for a split second terror burned inside him. He never touched the floor, Nowaki had moved faster than him and was able to hold him up. When Kamijou registered what was going he had one hand covering his belly and the other was outstretched, probably preparing to protect himself from the fall. It felt so strange. But the sensation disappeared, he moved his arms back and pushed the wolf away, color returning furiously to his face, ears and neck. "I can do it on my own let me go!" he grumbled as menacing as he could with a red face and a cracking voice.

"Hiro-san you were about to fall, is best if I help you"

"leave me alone you overgrown dog!"

"Hiro-san that hurts please calm down" Nowaki without listening to Hiroki's demand lifted the man up and carried him back to the bed, it was a short distance, but felt like miles to the poor embarrassed heart of the young assistant professor.

When he was placed in bed Kamijou breathed in deep and felt Nowaki's heat pheromones. "Nowaki, your pills… they are in your drawer"

"yes Hiro-san" Nowaki smiled, and before moving away he covered him with the bedsheets and quilt.

Kamijou followed him with his eyes, letting his desire slowly grow again inside him. Taking in consideration his physical status he doubted he could be of much use, to accompany Nowaki in his heat, at least for a few hours… maybe even a few days. But there was a wishful feeling, he wanted to still enjoy the heat with the wolf, he wanted to kiss and caress and snuggle up close. He could blame it all on Nowaki's pheromones, but he knew it had not much to do with that, he just loved the wolf, plain and simple.

How much more could he change for the wolf? How much more happiness was he able to experience? He hoped for whatever was to come, to always have the wolf beside him. To experience those changes together.

Changes had never worried Nowaki. The pet orphanage had followed a loose routine for all the children. Given the nature of it, pets came and went away, friendships could never properly grow and since nobody wanted a wild pet, even when the custodians tried to lie saying his was just a mix dog breed, he had never known stability in a family. And it was fine. He loved caring for all the children, he was allowed to learn so much because of his indefinite stay there, and in the end, when he finally had to leave, the custodians had loved him enough to give him a proper name, and his first fake ID, something they shouldn't have done by law, but they risked it, for him, and that was a treasure he never forgot.

And by leaving the orphanage, change took full control of him. Living on the streets made change a thing of every day life, quitting and starting jobs depending on the state of his fake id and collar, moving out of parks, corners or shelters because of cops and ferals, barely eating or not eating… So many things were bound by the fickle will of the world. But to Nowaki all was good, because everything could be changed or fixed, he just had to try his hardest, hope for the best and it would all turn alright. Everything except his loneliness. Because no matter how much he tried to accept it, a deep part of his heart always longed for a connection, a family of his own, to bare the brunt of winter with, to rejoice in the summer breeze, to come home to at the end of every day.

Nowaki never believed in God or Gods for that matter, it seemed too convoluted their existence and so chaotic his life to actually have a marked path or destiny. Till he met Kamijou Hiroki. That night he had been trying to sleep between a solid brick wall and 3 garbage cans, the temperature dropping dangerously low, even for a wolf like him, mainly because of his deficient nutrition. When Hiro-san had appeared, his muffled cries called to Nowaki as if they were only for him, from the distance he could decern the soft tremble of his shoulders, the ragged breathing, and when he turned the beautiful crying face stole his whole breath away. He would have never approached him, why would he? Even thou he wanted to ask why was he crying, if there was something he could do to help him… smile. But then the thugs had attacked, and the decision was taken away from him, Nowaki was never going to let such a beautiful creature suffer at their hands, so he saved him, took him to his home using the address on Hiro-san's ID card and took care of him from then on.

Change still played it's hands, in the raising tide of emotions in his heart, how after years of patience and control he would just push his love on to the grumbling assistant. In the pull and push of Kamijou's emotions and reactions, how he seemed to accept him yet reject him. And specially, when all hope had been lost, in the hands of cops, loosing his home for Nth time, with the terribly possibility of being put to sleep as a feral, and Kamijou went for him. He claimed him, not only as his pet, but as his lover.

Oh, Nowaki had never believed in God, had never accepted change so willingly, but now he praised them both. Now, having meals with his beloved, walking back from work together from time to time, spending nights in bed. Things would always keep on changing, tomorrow his work at the Hospital might worsen, might be dangerous, might not even exist anymore, but as long as his Hiro-san was by his side, anything, ANYTHING, was complete and honestly fine and well. Change was a lifelong friend and it would have always be welcomed.

So when his beloved Hiroki started changing, he didn't really stop and think about it, specially so since the changes were on the realm of possibilities.

First, the assistant professor started growling more often, when his computer was too slow, when the students grades were beyond reproachable, when his pen stopped working. It wasn't really different from the usual. Then his irritation increased, he tensed over and over again, his shoulder would rise up, his teeth would grind together, his brows would stay furrowed for minutes, almost half an hour. But the semester was ending, the work seemed never ending and there were not enough hours in each day to cover everything the workaholic man wanted to do, of course he would be tense. With so much work to the point of over work Nowaki only worried if the professor would pass out because of how much he worked. For weeks the wolf made sure to avoid the professor's anger, as his ire changed he accommodated the house and his surrounding so, less things would trigger him, so the environment would be more calming, less frustrating.

But then, the finals passed by, and the professor's reactions just kept worsening. The growling was no longer short or low, it was more of a bark; the irritation was not only at the pen but at the coffee maker, the tv, the stove, the closet door, everything seemed to annoy his beloved, and nothing Nowaki did seemed to help calm him down.

It all came to a breaking point one day when Nowaki was at home. He had finished cleaning the kitchen and dining room, and was preparing some snacks for the afternoon; he put the water to boil and walked towards the living room were Hiro-san was reading a reference book, his laptop on his lap to type down the information he needed. As always he put himself in front of the assistant and cleared his throat to gain the man's attention, he knew not to wait for Hiro-san to stop working, he never did and that was okay.

"Hiro-san would you like some green tea?" he asked, his voice soft, as not to startled the focused professor. And yet, said professor tensed up, and in one hard movement punched the laptop away from his lap and on to the floor in front of him, a sharp crack accompanying the professor's growl. "What the fuck do you want?!"

For a second neither, man nor pet, moved. The laptop's screen glitched and turned off, the reference book fell to the floor with a deaf thud. There were so many things crossing through Nowaki's mind, but one thing was certain, Hiro-san would be terribly worried and annoyed about his laptop, how on earth was he going to continue on with his work without it? But to make matters worse, mostly, Nowaki's fear for his beloved, Kamijou instead of worrying about his laptop he started to cry, loudly.

"I know I can be a menace and I don't know how to control my wrath but you can't leave me!" Hiroki's body shook with sobs, the back of his hands trying to clean the tears that wouldn't stop falling "I wouldn't know what to do, how could you abandon me like that?" Nowaki's heart broke, without a second thought he knelt in front of the professor and took both of his hands in his.

"Hiro-san please I would never" moving forward Nowaki pressed Hiroki's hands to his chest and opened his own arms to embrace the trembling assistant. "It's okay Hiro-san please, I love you, I truly do". Nowaki caressed Hiroki's back in a slow pattern, up and down and in circles, the professor cried harder for a spell but then as fast as it had started it died down, soft hiccups the only remnants of the strange outburst. When Hiroki finally exhaled deeply Nowaki moved slowly away and took Hiroki's hands again, "Let me check the wounds Hiro-san" Kamijou said nothing, his eyes cast down, his breathing still ragged but slow. So Nowaki moved the hands from one side to the other inspecting, the cuts were not deep and would not require stitching, but they were long. "I'm going to clean them up, okay?"

"Don't be stupid I can do it on my own" the professor growled, moving away from him, but he seemed to regret the action, immediately starting to cry. "I don't mean to be like this, I can't control myself and I'm done for, I will never and you would, cause I" again in a mess of tears Kamijou lowered his head, his trembling hands holding his head. Nowaki was about to ensure his Hiro-san that everything was fine when suddenly a mixture of essences invaded his nose. At first it was the acrid smell of stress, followed by the natural musk and sweat of his Hiro-san, but something lingered, something was becoming stronger. A sweet smell reached his nose, instinctively, without even thinking he opened his mouth and breathed in deep, letting the sensitive part of the roof of his mouth to filter in the smell. He knew it, he had also felt it before, many, many weeks ago, when an unusual smell on Hiro-san had awakened his second heat. It was rich, like honeysuckle, it was also impossible. There was no way such a change was feasible, but the smell could not be denied, why? Nowaki feared this change, it was dangerous, not for himself but for his Hiro-san. It could mean the end to everything he held dear.

"Hiro-san, I think is best if you go to the hospital, I think it would be good to have some labs done, please" Nowaki tried to keep his tone neutral, he smiled, as "normal" as he could.

"why? You can't take care of this? Are you getting tired of me and…" Hiroki stood up, tightening his hold on Nowaki's hand.

"Hiro-san! Breathe!" The wolf hated raising his voice but it was necessary. Shocked, the assistant professor closed his mouth and breathed as deep as he could, "Exhale, slowly, yes, like that" following Nowaki's instructions little by little Hiroki felt suddenly relaxed and tired.

"What was that?" Hiroki's shoulders slumped and he felt like falling to the sofa.

"I think your hormone levels are unbalanced"

"my hormones? you mean like I'm crazy?"

"No, nothing like that Hiro-san, it could be your thyroid, your brain or other things, a lab test will tell us, let's go right now, is best, I can also treat your wound there".

"I don't think is…" Hiroki shifted his eyes and tugged his hands, as if trying to let go of Nowaki's hands

"please, for me" Nowaki pulled Hiroki's hand and placed them softly against his cheek, trying to convey all the love he felt for the young professor.

"Fine… but let's hurry, I need to repair my computer" finally Hiroki's usual grumble was back and Nowaki smiled tenderly. "of course Hiro-san, we can go to a technician after the hospital if you like"

"that would be good"

At the hospital Nowaki guided Hiroki to the South side of it, some people looked their way, but Nowaki smiled back at his coworkers, nobody asked questions, not even Hiroki. Then he took him to an empty room, he helped him sit in a chair and gave him a cup of warm water. "wait for me" Nowaki said softly, trying for it not to sound like an order, Kamijou meekly nodded and sipped his water.

It took around 15 minutes for Nowaki to come back, for Kamijou it felt like 30 minutes, but for Nowaki it felt like hours. When he finally opened the door a young man was behind Nowaki, with blond hair and blue eyes, he was a beautiful fellow, with a button up shirt usually part of a technicians lab uniform, as far as Kamijou's simple knowledge reminded him, and a box with tubes in his hands.

"Hiro-san, this is my friend and coworker, Shinoda, he'll be drawing your lab tests, it would be better to run a urine test too, if you don't mind" the tech seemed weary and Kamijou clearly heard him mumble "I thought you said he was a pet" Nowaki without missing a heartbeat mumbled back "No, I said he was my owner, do it either way, okay?"

"fine"

"what's going on?" Kamijou looked at Nowaki for a moment but his focus never left the young technician, why was he such a beautiful man? Why was he so close to Nowaki? Why was Nowaki whispering things to him? He seemed intelligent too and… no, stop, that kind of train of thought leads nowhere. Kamijou shook his head and frowned, trying to force the thoughts away.

"nothing Hiro-san, don't worry"

While the technician took many tubes of blood Nowaki took care of Hiroki's injuries, as predicted they were easy to clean, just a tad tricky to bandage because of the area in between knuckles and fingers. Thankfully it had been his left hand, he was right handed, so it wouldn't affect his work too much.

Then the technician gave him a sample cup and Nowaki opened a door that led to a small bathroom. For a bit Hiroki felt humiliated but didn't let the emotions permeate, instead he focused on filling the cup and giving it to the annoyingly cute technician.

When all was said and done Nowaki took Hiroki's hand, aware and careful of his injuries, "let's go see about your computer"

"I hope they only have to replace the screen" Hiroki grumbled trying and failing to remember why he had been so angry, it really made no sense.

Hiroki's computer had an easy fix, the damage was only located on the screen and the replacement was cheap and already in store, so it was quickly done and over. Kamijou's emotional status was another thing, unfortunately or fortunately Nowaki experimented giving him relaxing and calming herbal infusions and tea, they worked albeit shortly and only a little, but at least there were no more incidents like the computer, as far as he knew. The most difficult thing was the anxious wait for results, because they were done in secret, and the battery of tests was quite large, they wouldn't be ready till a few weeks after. It was never wracking. And it all worsened when he met Shinobu again and the kitten explained a certain set of symptoms, he also, smelled like honeysuckle, although mixed with a spice of wild flowers. So he asked Shinobu to give more samples.

When finally the results were printed and given they were exactly what Nowaki had been dreading.

He was about to call Shinobu when the kitten called him himself "Shinobu what's going on?" the kitten was breathing hard, "I can't move, the house spirals around me, my legs feel so weak, I don't… I can't make it" Nowaki didn't know how serious the symptoms were but it worried him greatly, it would be easier to just call an ambulance, but what if the Laboratory had people inside hospitals? They never made it too far from the area, they should have, but now was not the time to wonder about those things. "Breath Shinobu, can you make it to the hospital?"

"the hosp…" Shinobu never finished his words, a horrible sound of hurling breached the phone's speaker, "Nowaki I don't feel so well, I think" this time he not only cut of his words, but a loud thud was heard over the speaker and no more sounds were heard after that.

"Shinobu?! Shinobu!" in vain the wolf tried to make Shinobu answer, desperate he did the only thing he thought, he called his beloved.

"Hiro-san please, I need professor Miyagi's address" there was no time for pleasantries

"what's going…"

"there's not much time, it's about his kitten, Shinobu" Nowaki was prepared to lie more to ensure the information but his Hiro-san seemed to understand his need and dictated the exact address. "Not so far from here, thank heavens"

"I'll inform the professor" Hiroki's voice was tight

"No, wait!" Nowaki almost screamed, already running to the elevator, "please, at least, 15 minutes, give me 15 minutes"

"I can't promise, is his house, or… is his pet, why do you?" Hiroki's confusion and distress was obvious through the line, Nowaki's heart ached, "I don't have time, please Hiro-san, believe me"

"15 minutes" was the last thing Hiroki said and the communication went dead. Nowaki knew he had opened a wound of distrust with Hiro-san, but there was so much in his head, so much fear and his own confusion, if only he could go back in time, if only he could have saved everyone… no, it meant nothing to think that way, he could only try and find a solution now.

Borrowing from his wolf he run the distance from their apartments, cursing the slowness of their elevators. When he reached the apartment he found the door open, alarming bells ringing in his ears.

"Shinobu! Shinobu!" he cried closing the door behind him, he doubted if he should put the lock or not, opting not to, in case he decided an ambulance was the only solution. Because of the sound during the kitten's call he went directly in search of their bathrooms, finally finding the kitten laying on the main bathroom's floor, phone a few feet away.

"Shinobu can you hear me?" Nowaki checked his vital signs one by one, the kitten seemed stable, just dehydrated and weak, when he tried to move him Shinobu struggled and he helped him reach the toilet's bowl, emptying whatever was left on his stomach. Afterwards he sat him down more properly against the wall and used a clean towel to wash his face and hands, combed his hair out of his face and lifted him in his arms. He wasn't privy of the relationship between Shinobu and his master but he knew the love the kitten professed for him, so he chose to take the kitten to the master bedroom, lay him on the side that smelled strongly of the professor and propped him on to his side, in case he vomited again.

"Miyagi" the kitten whispered, inhaling deeply the essence trapped on the pillows, Nowaki smiled, it had been a wise decision. If the lab results were correct, which they most certainly were, these weren'tmore than normal symptoms and would wear off soon. He brought a cup with water and helped the kitten drink small sips of it, then he left the cup on the night stand beside the bed, and went to clean as much as he could of the mess in the bathroom.

It was then that he heard the door opening and 2 set of footsteps. He finished leaving a blister of pills on the nightstand when the professor's voice boomed, "What are you doing in my house?! Why are you here? What have you done to Shinobu?"

"I haven't done anything professor Miyagi, I just came to assist him, he fainted" There was no use in fighting, better to answer as shortly and factly as possible

"How do you know him?" Miyagi's whole body was tense, an acidic smell of terror and anger coming out in waves.

"We met first at the flower shop I work on, we met by chance at the university too, when I went to pick up Hiro… Kamijou-sensei, I'm a junior doctor so he trusted me with his illness" Which was partially true.

"Miyagi" the professor's eyes moved down towards the bed, his whole face softening, lines of worry marrying his skin. The kitten was awake, the professor walked towards the bedroom so Nowaki moved out of the way, when the professor reached his kitten and caressed him on his cheek Nowaki stepped out of the bedroom. "are you okay kiddo?"

Nowaki looked at the kitten, seeing him nod softly, "Don't worry, I'll call the doctor" Nowaki knew what would that entail so he gave a step towards them before he could stop himself. "There's no need for that, I work for a pet hospital and Shinobu is okay with seen me and we already have a result" he couldn't help his hands making fists by his sides, "it's just a stomach virus, unfortunately he didn't care for it enough and he's dehydrated, we could bring him to the hospital or you could hydrate him here if you prefer"

"I rather use my own doctor" Professor Iio's voice was clipped, furious, but Nowaki couldn't, he needed to try. "Shinobu trusts me Sir, that's why he called me, please do what he is most comfortable…."

"Nowaki ENOUGH!" Nowaki's whole body shook with Kamijou's voice, his Hiro-san had never used such a tone with him. There was pain, he knew, but there was also anger, real anger. "professor Miyagi will do whatever is best for his pet and for himself, we're leaving"

"Hiro-san"

"It's final" the coldness on Kamijou's voice hurt more than the fury in his eyes. "I'm sorry for the intrusion, hope your kitten gets better soon, be careful thou, he seemed to not recognize you, since his tail bristled" Kamijou looked at the kitten on the bed and then to the professor beside it.

"Oh, no don't worry, that's his way of saying hi" Miyagi responded, a small smile breaking the tightness on his face

"oh, that's fine then, good thing you know your pet"

"yes, thank you Kamijou"

Kamijou walked away, surely towards the apartment's door, Nowaki followed but paused just a few steps away from the bedroom, turning again to see the old professor, "I'm sorry for forcing this so much, but he didn't want to worry you, he knows how much stress you have and how little time you have, he wanted to be self reliant" his voice was almost a whisper, in part because he felt defeated, in part because he didn't want Kamijou to hear.

"There's so much human's don't understand about pets, we can support each other in a different way… to me… he's like a younger brother, I care for him"

Miyagi's eyes flashed with something and he gave a long sigh, looking at his feline he petted his head and sighed again, "I understand, thank you for coming to his rescue, thank you for caring for him, I know we humans don't tend to do things to garner much trust from you all… I'm sorry I was so violent"

"No, I understand, I'm sorry, good evening" Nowaki finally left, head down, ears flat against his head and tail listless, almost curling between his legs.

Kamijou was waiting for him at the door, they closed it behind themselves and left the building in silence. There were no words for either of them throughout the whole walk to their own apartment, and even when they reached it and entered it, there were no words between them. Kamijou placed his bag on the sofa and went to his room, closing the door and locking it, something he had never done since the first day Nowaki had started living with the assistant professor.

- o -

Author's note: The skeleton of this chapter was done about 7 years ago, the ideas scattered in many notes on my computer. Last year I put them all in one big word document and left it while I worked on the previous chapters. Around July of last year I put the skeletons of chapters 26 to 30 in order, in 5 different documents. Then at the beginning of January I opened this chapter to work on it, I didn't think it would go as smoothly as it has, I finished half in like 4-5 hours one Wednesday's night, and the other half the next week, in another 5 hours or so. Editing has taken very little, between correcting grammar, adding explanations, emotions and making sure the points of view were well done. All in all I think this is the best chapter I have done so far, and I'm incredibly excited and proud for it. I hope you like it, and I hope it ignites a burning desire to know what happens next, specially because the really good stuff is gonna start now. Don't worry, they wont suffer… much, and they WILL have lots of love, I promise. Anyway, like, follow, comment, you know, the usual. ALSO! If you like to know more about me, when I'm working on the fanfic and other stuff I do, you can always follow me on my socials : D like twitter as folklarian and you can check my other socials there. Not sure if it's okay to share such things here, I should check. Anywho, bye beeeee! Oh! Sorry about the lengthy author's note and the lengthy chapter, there was soooo much to cover with this one. I could have divided in 2 parts but I really wanted both points of view to be followed one after the other. Hope you don't mind it… much. Love you all.