Revised: 15/10/24

Chapter 6

There were so many mornings in their past when Caroline had been happy to sleep through Shawn going to work.

But that day she made sure she was awake. She thought her heart was going to break as he got out the bed and she immediately rolled into the sleep warmed space he had just vacated.

After he had left the room, She could hear Shawn below her. These were the sounds which she had begun her day to for years and she had used to use them as markers for what she should be doing she thought to herself. They sound of the house, of the kettle, of doors opening and shutting… Then there had been all the mornings when she had wished he could go about what he was doing just a little more quietly, so she could go back to sleep or out of concern that he was going to wake the kids up.

As normal, he went back to the bedroom after he had had his breakfast and was sure to kiss her goodbye. It was only she who knew it was going to be last time.

Today was the day. The day that everything ended, and everything begun

"Goodbye darling - have a good day," he said to her tenderly and it was clear that he was still feeling the effect of the tenderness which they had felt for one another the night before.

As for Caroline she did not so much dare as open her mouth. This was it. They were leaving today. She could not open her mouth with out crying so it was better she figured that she said nothing at all.

But as his footsteps got further from her she felt the need to draw him close as his wife one more time. She regretted her silence along with everything else.

She got out of the bed and her feet were cold on the floor, but she didn't care. She caught him at the front door. "I love you."

"I love you too – something rotten. Now back to bed before you catch your death. You and the baby need rest."

Shawn said as he lay his hand on her abdomen. And then he was gone/

She did go back to bed but she did not sleep and she did not rest. She just lay there awake, dreading the hatred he was going to feel for her, even as she knew she was not going to be there to feel it.

In the early days of their marriage, she had at times crept downstairs to try and get him to come back to bed when she had heard him up.

She smiled to herself as tears welled in her eyes for she could no longer deny that the warm memories of the day before now felt like ashes in her mouth and she did not know how or when that was going to change back.

The door had long shut below her and she begun to sorrow afresh for the life that she and the children were going to leave that very day. And in the end, she did as she had been told by her husband – she went back to sleep and upon waking up, she felt even less like getting up than she had the day before. But they had to be up and out – so she had better get on with getting the kids breakfasts she thought to herself. They were going to need them more than ever. It was going to be harder to do this with the children any way. But it was going to be far harder with hungry children.

When she did manage to stir herself from her bed and her self-pity, she went over to her youngest daughters' crib.

Just as her mother had been, Kayla was awake but not truly there yet. The sight of her caused Caroline another wave of regret. Out of all of the children, Caroline knew this was the one who was going to have the least cause to miss Salem and everyone they loved there for she was the one who was going to have the least memories of it. In all probability, she would have no memory of it at all. When it came down to the cold facts, she was looked after by her mother most days and that was not going to change.

However, Caroline knew deep down she should not underestimate the role her father played in her life.

No doubt Kayla was going to miss the cuddled which he gave her when he came in from work and being on her father's lap when they went to church on a Sunday. She was going to miss the way he made her giggle and the cuddles he gave her when she was cutting a tooth.

There was a whole world of things which she was going to miss.

Caroline breathed, swallowed the lump in her throat down and forced herself to move on with the day – or else, it would all be destroyed…

X x x

"Right, you two, we are going to go on an adventure today - would you like that?" Caroline asked as she looked at Roman and Kimberly over the breakfast table.

Her little boy nodded in earnest.

"We are going to go up in an aeroplane."

Caroline saw such joy on her little lads face right then she could be forgiven for thinking she was doing the right thing. She did not think she had ever looked as excited as he did right then.

"Really mama?" he said as he put his hands around her in a hug of her delight, having got off his chair.

"Really my darling."

"Can I ride up front with the captain?"

"Well I do not know about that but I am sure we can see if he will let you in there to have a look."

But Kimmie was a more nervous sort.

"Is daddy going to come on the plane?" asked Kimmie.

"Can he?" Asked Roman, as far as he was concerned the only thing that was going to make this any better was the presence of his father. If his pop could come, then it would really be the best day ever. It was not as if they got to have fun together all of the time – why couldn't his father be with them on what he saw as a special day?

Caroline shut her eyes - for she should have seen that coming.

"Your pop has to go to work today, my darlings. Maybe next time." Lie number one.

She felt sick as she knew there was not going to be a next time – not one where Shawn was going to be able to come anyway, she sighed trying to make it easier for herself. There may well be another chance for them to go up in a plane when they were under Victor's wardship, in fact, Caroline was sure there was going to be. This was going to be the one good thing to come out of all of this she said to herself. Her children were going to now get chances and opportunities they never would have before. The education they were going to receive they could never have been given by Caroline and Shawn.

Kimberly did not look as if she was convinced but as she was with her mother, it was not as if she could do much about it.

But she was sure she would be happier if she had her father there.

The next half an hour, for Caroline she found an odd kind of relief from her guilt in getting the kids ready for Victor. She made sure the two elder kids were ok, dressed comfortably for their long journey and Kayla got a bit of kick about time.

All too soon, Caroline heard a car pull up and she felt her heart break for she knew it was Victor.

He had come to collect them.

She had been bending down to do up Kimmie's cardigan, but Caroline stood upon hearing the engine.

Her eyes automatically looked about the room. So here it was. The last time.

This was where she had been raising her babies. This was where she and Shawn had built their lives. There was so much in this room which was hers. So much of what she was was here.

She didn't know how to be away from here. Now she would learn how too be. But she knew in her heart of hearts, there was going to be so much which she left here. And from that, there was no getting away from.

"Mama?" her daughter asked. If one of them knew something was amiss she was sure it was Kim. She was sure she had known for days now. Roman was too excited by the whole thing to really tap into the fact something was amiss and as for Kayla, she was little more than a baby. Kimberly seemed many years older than she was right then. She was the one they were going to have to be careful about

Caroline smiled at her daughter. And she held her hands. As long as she and the kids had one another then she was sure the rest of it was going to be fine. They were going to make it so.

"Uncle Victor is here to take us up on the plane and you need to be a really good girl for me. Can you do that for me?"

Kim nodded.

"We are going to go up high in the sky – and it might seem scary at times, but mama loves you – and I am not going to let anything bad happen to you my darling girl, I promise. Now can you trust mama?"

Kim nodded earnestly. It was rare that Caroline felt she was able to get a reaction from her daughter such as this one. She was all Shawn's girl after all. But for once it seemed to her as if she understood what was going on and so she had transferred her allegiance to her mother. And they were going to get through this. As a family.

But Kimmie was young – and though her mother could see she was doing everything in her little power to be brave, it was not working altogether. Caroline sighed for she had no doubt there was going to come a day when Kimmie questioned everything she was doing.

That she was going to regret the trust she had put in her.

But that was for later.

"You go and get your shoes on, my good girl." She said as she turned her attention back to Kayla.

No doubt her active little baby was going to get frustrated on the flight… she was going to have to hold her for most of it.

But at least she had made sure to keep back all of their favourite toys to take with them together. What had been packed was not going to be accessible to the kids but there was going to be plenty that was.

It was going to be a long time until they all got to Greece and she was not going to lie for herself and say it was going to be easy - for she knew that was the furthest thing from the truth.

x x x

Victor had woken up with a spring in his step that day.

As far as he was concerned this was the day he had been waiting for all his life. It almost felt akin to a wedding day to him, when he became a father three times over to boot.

Never had he ever loved someone as he had loved Caroline. She had always been his darling, even when she was not his, and he did not think he was ever going to be able to forget the pain he had felt this day he had learnt she was going to marry Shawn. It had truly been the worse day of his life to learn she was going to throw herself away on him. She had always been too good for him.

And he had thought it was over until the day he had got back to Salem – that was when he knew there was still hope for them.

And now they were going away together and to his own surprise, he found he was even happier about it than he had thought he was going to be, as they were not leaving as a couple but as a family. Soon enough he was going to be a father to a child all of his own but till that day came he was not going to be sorry to be raising Caroline's. True, he had not spent a lot of time with them yet but what he did know of them was charming.

They were all going to be able to build a life together and at the end of the day, he was sure that was what mattered when most. Yes, he was sure at first, they were going to be a little fussy and missing their father, but he was going to try and make sure it was a phase and nothing more. They were going to recover and then he was going to be their father. They could be a family. Whereas Caroline he did not think was sure of anything at that moment, he was sure of many things.

And thus he was smiling as he got out of the car and headed towards the Brady house and his future.

Before he so much as got to the front door it was open.

Caroline stood in the doorway with Kayla in her arms. The baby was smiling and to him, it looked as if she was ready to go which had been the aim of her mother. There were now so few ways that she could not betray Shawn and she knew deep down none of the rest of it was going to matter to him now. She was taking his children and for that, there could be no forgiveness.

But the decision had been made.

Still, Victor was not going to go over their threshold. Not that day.

"Good day, my love," he said as he leant forward and kissed her. This was the first time the two of them had kissed in public and she had to admit even then, she felt as if she was terrified they were going to be caught and seen by someone who knew her only as Mrs Brady.

But that was the life she was leaving behind she told herself.

This was who she was now.

Let anyone see. By the time they got back from telling Shawn, it would be too late..

She wondered if when they got there – to this new life of there - she would be known as Mrs Kiriakis.

"Good morning," she said to him with a smile. The two of them were having a baby and though she did not want to be doing this – he had power over her and she knew she had to keep him sweet.

Otherwise, everything would be destroyed…

There was a part of her which felt as if she was in an out-of-body experience. Yet, there was another who remembered not so very long ago she had been all too happy to go to him and spoke of her love of him.

And there was no way that part of her could die so quickly. It was that she had to harness. Maybe this was the bitter part of the pill – maybe once they were over there it was going to be so much easier.

Maybe in some weird way, this was the right thing for her to be doing.

She just did not think so.

"Are you ready to come and fly with me?" he asked smoothly.

If the children saw she was upset, then she knew they were going to be more so. For them, she had to be brave.

"Yes. Victor, can you hold her for me please?" she said as she passed him her Kayla.

"Of course, I can," he was with a smile as if there was nothing else in the world he would like more. "Come here, sweetheart," he said with a grin as he took her in his arms.

She did not know how many times she had seen Shawn there saying something very similar as he took Kayla in his arms – but he had more right to do so and it felt to her right then as if she had to plead with Victor for Shawn's sake, just one more time.

"Please Victor." Was she wrong? Was there a chance everything could be put right? "Is there no other way?"

She did not have to tell him what she was asking for he could hear it in her voice.

There was something about hearing the desperation in her voice which he could not stand.

"No Caroline." He did not ever want to hear it there again.

"There has to be another way."

"There is," he said, his voice ice to the warmth which has just been in it. The only helpful he did was lower his voice to a point where the children were not going to be able to understand what he said. "We can destroy everything for all of us, and I can tell Shawn all about our affair – your happy family can be destroyed and then you can give your child to me."

She felt tears well in her eyes.

She would never allow that to happen she thought as she held her growing womb.

She and all four of her babies had to stay together. That was imperative to her.

"Then we are going to go through with our plan and we are going to leave today." He said to her in such a manner that she knew he was not going to listen to her argue on this matter.

As far as he was concerned this was a done deal.

And it was. She had known it was for a long time.

After all, they were all packed.

It was time.

"So, what is it going to be. Are we going to get on the plane or we just going to stay on the doorstep all day?" He asked her with a raised eyebrow.

Without looking back into the house she nodded.

She was not sure if she had ever felt so weak and then she felt a tiny hand slip into her own.

"Mama are we going to go and get on the plane now?" asked Roman with hope in his eyes. She did not know how he was going to respond if he was told they were not going to now.

He would definitely be upset, and he tell his father and … and then it was all going to come out that way. There was nothing in the world which she going to be able to do to stop that.

She could not win now.

"Yes – we are. Now run and get into the car with Uncle Victor," Caroline said to him as Roman left the house. Following her big brother, Kimmie left too.

The last two weeks had been hell. Caroline had spent it packing, ferrying bits out of the house, trying not to cry or to say the wrong thing. All of that was over now she thought to herself and for the first time - there was relief. She had not looked for it or expected it.

She put on her own coat, picked up her handbag and steeled herself for the new way of life which she and the children were so going to be living.

With that, Caroline dared to look round the family room one more time, then shut the door behind her and walked away from the Brady House.

Years would pass before she returned.

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