Chapter 7

By the time they got to the plane, there was part of Caroline which thought her little son was going to burst from excitement about the fact they were going up in the air. Roman was beside himself.

But from the girls there no such excited. There was no such joy.

Even getting on the plane, it was clear Kimberly was not yet quite sold on what they were doing and when they took off that was it. She went into full-on meltdown mode, clinging to her mother and crying for her Pop. It was as if she knew they should not be doing this without Shawn.

The reaction brought tears to her mother eyes and she stroked back her hair and tried to calm her.

As for Kayla, as soon as she saw her big sister is distraught, she too became upset. Unlike Kimberly though, she could be soothed Victor by a wonder and a look around. Her curiosity took over her fear.

If Victor was not wrong, then his loves youngest child was a very inquisitive girl and that was something which he was going to nurture. When things settle down, he promised himself that that was going to be the case. He was going to do that.

But he was going to have to give the two elder children the room which he knew they were going to need to grieve for their Pop.

Together, he and Kayla found Roman, who had gone to explore the plane, but he could still hear Kimberly crying.

It was a sound which tore at his own heart so he did not know what it was doing to Caroline. The two of them were clearly just going to have to be patient with little Kimberly. He was sure they could do that.

"What do you think Roman – do you want to come up in a plane again?"

"Yeah – it is so cool! The pilot said were a thousand feet in the air and were flying over the sea…"

It made him feel like a bird, he thought. That was the only thing he knew which could do that.

"We are – we are miles and miles and miles above the sea."

And what felt the very best to Victor was to know they were miles above all of the problems which had been keeping them from this – from the family life which he had craved for years. It could not hold them down – not now. They were flying like birds, and they were free as birds.

"Would you like to swim in the sea when we get down?"

Roman nodded, thinking of the sea where his father had taken him fishing. "Yes, please Uncle Victor." As far as he was concerned, that would be just as great as what they were doing right then.

He only made his way back to Caroline when he could no longer hear crying and he was sure the child was calm.

He did not know if he had done the right thing when he went back in or if Caroline wished he had gone in to help her sooner for she looked exhausted. Her daughter appeared to have cried herself to sleep in her mother's arms and Caroline was still rocking her right then, her cheek pushed to Kim's little head.

Kimberly had collapsed like a rag doll and he had to admit to feeling guilty. He had never meant to do that to the child – but they were all moving on with their lives now.

Caroline was still murmuring to her as he came in, trying her best to keep her calm, even in her sleep.

Caroline had been so focused on Kim that he felt as if she had not seen the two of them come in but as soon as she did her focused shifted from one of her daughters to the others.

"Is Kayla ok?" Caroline checked.

Her baby girl looked as if she was on the very edge of sleep but was having an easier time going off than her sister did.

"I want my bed – I want to go home – I want pop!" They were the three things which Kim had said over and over when her mother had been trying to settle her leaving her in no doubt of what she was after.

"Well, she is fighting sleep, but I think she is fine, or will be," Victor said as he kissed her forehead. Kayla fidgeted a little but did not stir massively, thought it was clear that she was not yet asleep…

Caroline looked away even though she knew she was going to have to get used to it. Trying to spin it on its head, Victor did look as if he was going to make a good father to their own she thought. He looked as if he did care for Kayla.

But that was something which Shawn had used to do for Kayla – and as far as Caroline was concerned, that should be something only her pop should be doing.

"We knew this was not going to be an easy shift for any of us Caroline, but I do not want you to worry, we are going to get there. And I will always love and care for the three of them as if they were my own."

She nodded.

"Raise a smile, my love – we can be together at last. And I know this is not the way we would have chosen to do it but is it better than we can be together than not."

She wasn't so sure.

Gently, she eased Kimberly into the chair next to her. She was terrified she was going to wake up but clearly, she underestimated how exhausted her daughter was. She did not so much as stir.

Poor baby thought as she put her down, stroking her cheek for just a moment.

But she did have to for a moment for she was not her only child and she knew Kayla was at risk of being forgotten right there for she could not talk. Whereas Caroline had no doubt the other two were going to use their voices to tell her how unhappy they were with what was going on if they felt so, her baby had no such chance.

"Mama is here," she said as she took her from Victor and Kayla did not have to hear too much more.

She put her head on her mother's shoulder and she soon looked as if she was ready to go straight to sleep.

That was the thing about babies compared to toddlers thought Caroline. They did seem to need their mothers so much more. And they seemed to trust so much more.

"You are a good mother," Victor told her as he put his hands on her but she knew he was lying. No good mother would do what she had done. Ever.

Now she was just going to have to live with the consequences.

She shut her eyes and let her self be lost in her daughter for just a moment and hoped that somehow all of this was still going to turn out for the best.

X x x

Roman opened his eyes.

It had taken a long time but eventually, he too had fallen asleep – the journey took a while - but his mother had no such relief. For the vast, majority of the journey, she had held Kimberly once more. Kayla thankfully seemed to settle with Victor, staying fast asleep when she had passed him back.

Therefore, of the Brady children though, only Roman woke up with a start. He had fallen asleep in one of the plane chairs and they had been comfortable but it was nothing like the safe little bed he had at home.

Suddenly, he missed the room he shared with his sister. This had been the most wonderful treat the day before but - a wave of homesickness flooded him.

He had had such fun on the plane.

Now it felt less so.

"Mama?" he asked.

For a moment he could not see her and his panic increased but then there was her voice.

"It's ok darling." Caroline soothed as she came to his side. Out of the three of them, Roman had so far needed the least comfort but she was his mother and she could hear the panic in his little voice right then. It broke her heart.

He did not know what it was. He did not think he was able to put it into words but suddenly, he felt as if something was terribly wrong. And more than anything in the world he just wanted to be at home.

"Where are we?"

"We are going to go to Uncle Victor's house. Do you remember mama saying we were going to have a holiday soon!"

He did – but he did not know they were going on it right then. All she had said the day before was that they were going up in the plane – but then he guessed people did go on holidays in planes. Still….

It did not feel right and he wanted this to stop.

"But it is going to be night time soon and Pop is going to be home soon."

"I know he is, my darling, but he knows where we are - and Uncle Victor is going to look after us whilst we are here." Lying to the children Caroline knew was the worst type of lying. She had not wanted to but – but if it helped calm them.

"Oh." Roman sighed. He still wasn't sure – but it that was what his mama said…

He was glad to be on holiday but sad he had not had a chance to say goodbye to his Pop. He lay back in the chair and was heartened when he felt his mother's hand in his hair. She was there at least. And if she said Pop knew, then he did.

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