Chapter 28 – I Can Wait Forever, But I Don't Want To
Carlisle's POV
It has been 576 hours give or take since Amber stepped foot on that plane.
It hasn't been easy, especially for Rosalie. My wife and I are at a loss at how to comfort our eldest daughter.
The whole family has been trying to comfort each other. We've had an extra person around the house in the form of Mike. He has quickly become another Son to Esme and myself and a brother to my children. My mate and I know that when the time comes that the 'being changed' conversation happens with Amber that Mike will most likely be involved in that conversation as well.
It warms our undead hearts to think about how our family is expanding.
Sadly, even with everyone trying to help each other through this deployment Rosalie is still struggling.
Whether Amber knew it or not she left Rose with a lifeline when she gave her that ring of hers to hold on to. Alice wasn't lying when she said that she had the perfect chain for it.
Turns out that when Alice picked up my pocket watch from the Jeweler she couldn't shake this feeling everytime she glanced at this chain in one of the display cases. So she bought it and kept it in her dresser drawer, unknowingly keeping it safe for Rosalie.
I must have been too deep into my thoughts, because as I make my way back to my desk with my nose practically stuffed into the next set of forms that I need to sort through that I'm broken out of my thoughts by someone pounding on my doorframe.
There leaning casually on my door jam looking a little disheveled and like she hasn't slept in who knows how long is Amber.
She gives me a crooked smile As she says "What's up Doc?" I make an undignified yelp of a noise as I drop the papers in my hand and sweep Amber up into a hug.
After a few minutes of catching up Amber leaves me to go take a shower and clean up while I promised to call Rosalie. Per Amber's request I didn't mention Amber's Return.
Mike's POV
If I didn't already know that Amber was back yet, the music coming from the grooming/hygiene station would have been a dead give away.
Which is where the shower and changing area is. It's for us (the sere specialists) to us so that we have a place to clean up or get ready before a shift if we have to stay at the schoolhouse over night. It also comes in handy when we've been outside in the woods for long periods of time.
I would recognize Amber's 'Morning Mix' anywhere. It's full of songs that will wake you up.
As I make my way to the common area which leads to the different he and she areas. I ring the doorbell system to the women's side. It comes in handy for situations like now where I want to announce myself so that I can talk to Amber.
If you're wondering what this doorbell system is, well it's actually quite ingenious.
It looks just like a regular doorbell, but when you press it, it makes a light flash in the private areas so that everyone will know that someone needs to go out and see who's at the 'door'. So in cases like this Amber will come out when she's changed or I can keep her company while she's doing her hair or brushing her teeth.
After a minute or the smile that I had almost immediately drops from my face.
To put it simply Amber looks like shit.
"Have you even slept since you left?" I ask her worriedly.
All she does is give me the finger and says "I love you too." As she gives me a solid hug.
After we both make sure that the sign is out, indicating that there is a guy in the women's area Amber gestures for me to follow her as she says "Come on, I need to finish getting ready and we can catch up."
Rosalie's POV
The waiting has been torture. I have tried not to let myself wallow in my depressing thoughts by spending time with my family. I have to keep reminding myself that Amber wouldn't want me to isolate myself in my room. She would want me to keep moving and living. That has to be one of the things that I love about Amber, her zest and passion for life.
Passion. Oh what wonderful passion resides inside of my mate. Passion for her job and for making a difference. Passion for finding the little things in life that are the true treasure in life. My love just has a way about her. I have never met someone that could make a routine trip to the grocery store an adventure. I don't even think Emmett could disagree that Amber's uniqueness even surpasses him. Amber is just…Amber. It seems like such a vague thing to say, but it really does fit.
I feel like I've only scratch the surface of what Amber keeps bottled up. My body tingles at the thoughts of all the different ways that Amber will show me her passion physically.
Most of all it's the passion for her loved ones and the way that she loves has to be one of the most endearing things about her. Amber always says that we should love our friends and family unashamedly and almost embarrassingly free until sharing I love you's becomes 'normal'. I couldn't agree more. Thankfully society's view on expressing love has changed and progressed a great deal since I was human.
As I glance at my vanity mirror where I put a small personalized flower card I can't help but give a small loving sigh and smile.
Amber had flowers delivered to the house and my apartment a few days after she had left. I have no idea when she had time to go to the flower shop, but I can't help but love the fact that she did.
Both cards are identical, simply saying that she thoroughly enjoyed our date and that she hopes that I would honor her with accepting another date with her soon.
I never thought that I would ever find a human that was as 'traditional' as Amber was. Her old fashioned ways were a surprise, but very welcome.
I truly have found my other half. Amber is everything that I could ever want in a mate and more.
Once I'm finished getting ready I meet Esme in the car. She finally finished making the specialty end table for Mike's cage. It has most of the same 'extras' that Esme made for Amber's, except that Mike's is made out of an old whiskey barrel.
By the time that we get Mike's new table set up in his cage I've gotten more and more melancholy. Amber's scent though diluted and faded still is strong enough to linger into not only Mike's cage, but also from Amber's cage which was right next to Mike's.
As we waited for Mike I couldn't help myself as I laid my head and face against the chain linked fence of Amber's cage as I tried to breathe in as much of Amber's lingering scent as I could.
I must have been wallowing pretty heavily, because I missed my mothers sharp intake of breath and how my love's scent seemed to grow stronger in the room.
What does have me pulled from my thoughts is not the voice that I had been expecting saying, "You know there are easier ways of breaking and entering, right?"
I snapped my neck so fast that I'm sure that if I were human I would have broken my neck. The sight that greets me is one that I have fantasized about since I watched Amber walk way from me all those weeks ago.
I don't remember moving, but I suddenly am across the room with my head burrowed into Amber's chest and my arms clutching onto my love. Time ceased to exist. I was finally at peace, that was until I pulled back from the ravenous kiss that we shared and I actually got a proper look at Amber.
Saying that Amber looked exhausted would be an understatement. She had bags under her eyes and her eyes didn't hold its usual light and twinkle in them.
I immediately had her face in my hands as I softly stroked her face and under her eyes. The worry must have showed on my face, because Amber gently took one of my hands and pressed it to her lips as she gave me a lazy smile.
She tried to reassure me by saying, "I'm alright, just a little tired."
I gave her an unimpressed look with an arched eyebrow for emphasis.
"Nothing some quality snuggle time with my rosie posie can't fix." My mate cheekily says.
To which gets a snicker from Esme and Carlisle and Mike who had slipped in while I was distracted by Amber.
"Snuggles can be arranged, if you never call me rosie posie again." I tell Amber sternly. It would have been sterner if I could actually say it without smiling.
As I all but drag my mate out of the room we received more snickering after announcing that Amber and I will be leaving.
That's how we find ourselves in my car on the way to my apartment for some quality time together.
The car has been filled will idle chit chat as we caught up with each other, but I couldn't help but feel an awkwardness in the air.
As we make our way out of the car after I parked into my parking space in my apartment's parking garage I couldn't keep it in any longer.
"Did you have a good deploymet?" I asked as Amber made her way to my driver's side door and grabbed my hand as we started walking towards the elevator. She casually says "It was fine. Everyone's safe." Was her vague reply as she casually shrugged her shoulders and continues to walk towards the elevators holding my hand.
As we were waiting for the elevator I ask "Are you going to elaborate on that?" Amber merely shrugs her shoulders in an 'eh' type of manner.
At this point I was becoming more and agitated about Amber's blatant evasive and dismissive non communication skills.
"Are you going to talk about it at all?" I asked exasperated.
Amber startled me by her firm reply of "No."
Amber's strong refusal shocked me and I stopped walking, making Amber get yanked backwards.
Amber was confused not only by my unmovable pace, but by my obvious anger displayed on my face.
"What?" Amber asked truly clueless.
I didn't know how to answer her. How could she possibly be so dense?
Amber tilter her head to the side in a thinking manner and under any other circumstance I would have found it adorable, but right now I was just too blind by my anger to really care.
Amber cautiously and slowly came closer to me holding the hand up (that wasn't busy holding my hand) like she was approaching a wild animal, which in a way in this moment I kind of was like an angry wild animal.
There was a pause as Amber decided what to say before she settled on "What's going on?"
There was another pause as Amber stared into my eyes then you could practically see the light bulb turn on over her head as she took a deep breath and said "Ah, I see….I'm sorry. I forget that the military stuff is so new to you. I thought you understood that I can't talk about a lot of what I do."
After a few moments of silence I quietly ask with a hint of vulnerability. "Where does that leave us?"
This is unheard of in the vampire world. Mates don't hide very much between each other. At least not as much as what Amber is not sharing.
Amber advances on me until I find myself backed into a pillar. I hadn't even realized that I was moving backwards until my back hit the pillar. Amber kept advancing on me until she was almost flush with me.
I couldn't help but take a sharp intake of breath when Amber placed on hand on my hip. Not being touched by Amber in so long made her touch electric. I'm so wound up that I'm pretty sure that any contact would have me combusting. Her hand didn't stop at my hip though, it wrapped around to the small of my back. I was then tugged roughly into Amber's body. I was so startled that I made a yelping noise and Amber took the opportunity presented with my mouth open to plunge her tongue into my mouth as her other hand made it's way into my hair. I can't say that I was unhappy with this development. Especially considering this was one of the hottest makeout sessions I have ever had. I was dripping so badly that my pants were starting to get uncomfortable, but again I couldn't find it in me to care.
Eventually Amber pulled away and leaned her forehead onto mine. She softly stroked my cheek as my love pulled away and stared into my eyes.
"The only thing that matters is that I came home…to you. Everyone's safe and we finished our mission. " Amber said softly but with such conviction.
I realized that in my possessive beast meltdown I forgot one major thing. Amber wasn't like everyone else, her job demanded that. There are bound to be a lot of things that can't be talked about..and…that's ok, because Amber is what I wanted. She's not hiding things from me, this has nothing to do with us and everything to do with who she is. She did share how her deployment was, and she is right, she is back home from a successful mission and everyone is safe. That is all that I need to know.
The same reasons that she joined the military are the same reasons that I love her.
I smiled as I wound my hands around her neck and said "You're right. That is all that matters. And I'm so glad that you're home. Let's get you to bed so that we can get to the snuggles."
"That is the best idea ever!" Amber said with childlike enthusiasm.
I couldn't help but laugh at my mate's adorableness. As she grabbed my hand as she led me into the elevator and up into my apartment I count help but think about how lucky I am.