Between Love and Survival

by Am-I-A-Writer

Rosalie Hale has survived without love for nearly a century. Of course she had her adopted family, but that's not the kind of love she was yearning for. The kind of love you find in a mate. That is until Amber Blacole quite literally crashed into her life. Can this Air Force Survival Expert teach Rosalie that life is more than just mere survival and that love is worth the risk?

38. Chapter 38 – Even Though I Know That You

Author's Notes :

I apologize for taking so long with publishing this chapter. I have been dealing with some personal issues as well as some major health issues in my immediate family. Those issues have taken my main focus as I've had to deal with them as well as the added responsibilities to my family that have come along in regard to these issues.

Chapter 38 – Even Though I Know That You Love Me I Just Can't Help It

Esme's POV

My love and I are beyond thrilled that it seems like our daughter has finally found her happiness. Carlisle and I want all of our children to find their other halves, but our Rose has always had thorns.

Don't get me wrong she is so caring and truly loves beyond measure, but she also doesn't trust just as deeply.

With everything that has happened in her life we all understand, but that doesn't change the fact that we all wish for her to finally begin her happily ever after.

"We are not telling you what to or not to do with Amber, Rosalie, I am merely trying to make sure that we as a family are all on the same page." Carlisle gently explained.

After Rosalie came back from her extended holiday with Amber, she has been walking on cloud nine.

After she shared a quick version about what had happened we settled down for the 'family meeting' about Amber's turning and her introduction to our true nature as vampires. We all were in the understanding that once Amber was told and accepted the news that Mike would be told.

No one thought Amber would not want to include her brother in our world.

"I will tell her. I just want more time." Rosalie takes a shaky breath and looks down at the floor before continuing "I finally got the girl. It has taken so long just to get to this point. Is it so wrong to want to hold onto this just a little while longer?" Rosalie asks with such vulnerability in her eyes as she looks each of us in the eye. When she finally rests on her Father she looks almost pleadingly at him to understand.

Carlisle walks up to his eldest daughter and puts his hand on her shoulder to reassure her "We will support you, always. I just want to make sure that we all are on the same page. You just let us know what you need and we will assist you in any way that you need...I know I speak for the rest of the family when I say that we all are happy for you and that we can't wait till Amber and Mike join us fully."

I watch as my usual stoic daughter show a burst of emotion as she jumps up and into her father's arms. I know that I am not the only one with misty eyes watching the loving display in front of us as Carlisle pulls Rosalie farther into his chest as he cradles her in his arms.

Alice's POV

After the guys leave to give us girls privacy for some girl talk, Rose begins to tell us more details that she left out about her romantic weekend.

"So what you're saying is that your weekend was terrible. " I deadpanned. My seriousness only lasted a few seconds before my sisters and I broke out into giggles.

We spent most of the day getting every detail out of Rosalie that we were able to. Esme had joined us in the beginning, but decided to go do some baking when the conversation turned more descriptive about the bedroom adventures.

This softer side of Rosalie has been so exciting to experience.

It's not like we haven't spent quality time together or had 'girl talks', but now that she has a mate we've all been able to share more with each other.

I have to admit Amber is a lot more romantic than I would have suspected. From being serenaded awake to hearing how Rosalie woke up from one of her many blissful comas to the smell of being surrounded by wildflowers in and around the bed. One thing is for certain, Amber is full of surprises.

Mike's POV

I try and keep a straight face as I flick a wadded paper ball at Amber's face. From the blissed out look on her face she's obviously been thinking about her long weekend.

Amber has been drifting in and out of her daydreams all day. Hence why I've taken it upon myself to wake her up from her stupor every time I see her with that goofy look on her face. I mean after all as her brother it is my duty to make sure that she's paying attention during the meeting. It's just an added bonus is that I get to flick stuff at her.

I know that my job is done when Amber flips me off after she sees me holding in a grin.

I am genuinely happy for my best friend. It's about time that Amber found some happiness.

Amber's POV

Content. Happy and content. Those aren't words that I would usually use to describe my life, but I'm glad that it's going in that direction.

I don't want to seem ungrateful or like I'm complaining. I've had a good life. I have family and friends that I love and that love me in return, but there was always something missing.

I know that I have been getting some weird looks from everyone all day. The stupid grin on my face has been making everyone uncomfortable all day long. It's not that people aren't used to me smiling, but goofily grinning while I'm working isn't normal. The phrase stoic with bouts of childish behavior has been used to describe me more often than not and it's a very accurate one. Though the bouts of childish behavior are big one's and they come out frequently.

Thankfully Rosalie seems to love all the different sides of me. Love. Rosalie love me. There goes the goofy look on my face again. Just the thought of my girl makes me anxious to see her again.

I know that it's only been a few hours since I last laid eyes on Rosalie, but time doesn't really seem matter. It seems like my whole being yearns for Rose. There always seems to be this pull that I can't quite understand. Honestly I try not to think about it too much, because after all this time I still haven't figured it out.

It warms my heart just thinking about how she sent me off with a packed lunch and a kiss filled with promises of a wonderful reunion.

As I step outside I grab my beret from my pocket and I take a few seconds to stare at the small picture of Rose that I put into it before I place it onto my head.

The smile doesn't leave my face as I make my way out to the back field that we're going to be holding classes.

- Time skip -

Rosalie's POV

It's been a few weeks of pure bliss. Every new moment and shared experience is such a wonderful adventure.

I knew that having a mate would open up new feelings, but I never knew things could be this intense.

The feelings of not only love and the constant need that seems to pull us together, but the overwhelming jealousy and possessiveness have been a new occurrence.

I feel a bit of shame over how that jealous and possessiveness has made me act irrationally and overzealously.

I almost shutter at the memory of my behavior last weekend. Amber and I were cuddling on the couch as I was flipping through the TV channels when Amber got excited at seeing that the movie 'The New Guy's was on.

Anything that made Amber happy was fine with me, so I settled myself deeper into Amber as her arm wrapped around my torso as I was pulled in tighter to Amber's side as I sprawled out to lay down on the couch using her side as a reclining pillow .

I completely relaxed as I absentmindedly began to play with Amber's fingers.

Touching always seems to have a calming effect on Amber and I can't say that I would ever refuse an excuse to get my hands on Amber.

Awhile later Amber asks "You've seen this before, right?"

I absently tug at a few of Amber's fingers as my fingers slide in and out of hers before I say with a smile "Of course. Emmett made sure of that."

"I figured if you did see it, it would be because of Emmett." Amber says with a smile of her own.

After watching the movie in comfortable silence for awhile Amber absently wonders out loud, "Were you a cheerleader in high school? I would have loved to see that." Amber says with a cheeky grin.

Me turning around and raising an eyebrow at my girlfriend was my only answer.

"What? It would be hot." Amber shrugs and says unashamedly.

As we settle back into our snuggle sitting more into an up right position this time.

After a few moments I realized that Amber had been watching the cheerleaders in the movie. Did she find them desirable? Was she interested in them? Did she find them beautiful and did she want them more than me? Would she think of them the next time we kissed or became intimate?

"So you like that?" I ask as her as I make a vague hand gesture towards the TV.

"Well yeah. They're attractive." Amber says offhandedly with a casual shrug.

I stew for about 2 minutes before I can't hold onto my agitation any longer. I quickly and angrily change the channel and off of the dancing cheerleaders who were trying to seduce my mate.

Amber didn't seem to be bothered by the changing of the channel to a random realtor program except to ask, "Not a fan of the movie?"

I was practically seething. Either my love was truly clueless or she was deliberately trying to piss me off.

The rational part of my brain knew that Amber truly was clueless. Not only was she clueless in the most endearing of ways, but sometimes the cluelessness infuriates my inner beast.

The fact that people can blatantly flirt with my mate and it goes right over Amber's head or how I can be practically boiling over in anger at my girlfriend looking at another woman. Granted Amber wasn't flirting back with others or openly ogling women in front of me. She was simply answering me honestly. Rationality I know all this, but my inner vampire didn't like my love's attention on anything or anyone besides me.

I make an angry snort as I cross my arms and I sharply tell her "I'm not going to sit here and watch you ogling other women."

The shock took a little bit to wear off of Amber's face, before I could finally see everything click for Amber. Amber turns towards me and looks me directly in the eyes as she slowly and deliberately says "Those women were attractive. I'm not going to lie and I sure as hell am not blind, but if I wanted one of them then I wouldn't be dating you. Why would I sit here and 'fantasize' about a nice looking woman when I have a full fledged goddess in my life that literally holds my heart in the palm of her hand?" There is a pause as we both stare into each others eyes before Amber leans in slowly as she softly says "I don't know about you but I'd like to skip to the 'chill' in this movie night and chill." Before Amber's lips meet mine in a kiss that is as sensual and full of love as it is erotic.

Amber pulls me so that I'm now laying down full on the couch as she hovers above me. I would be lying if I said that the aggressive display didn't leave me dripping wet.

"I'm going to worship every inch of you and make you cum so hard that you won't remember your own name. But before I do that I want you to understand one thing." Amber's eyes take on a hard edge to them but her hands caressing over my sides have a contradicting gentleness to them. "I love you. You are mine and I am yours, completely. Please don't ever question that."

I can't help the tears that gather in my eyes.

In response to seeing my tears Amber gently presses our foreheads together for a few seconds before she pulls away with a soft kiss to my forehead.

I maybe irrational at times, but Amber is my love and I am hers and at the end of the day that is all that matters.

Author's Notes :

I apologize for taking so long with publishing this chapter. I have been dealing with some personal issues as well as some major health issues in my immediate family. Those issues have taken my main focus as I've had to deal with them as well as the added responsibilities to my family that have come along in regard to these issues.