Chapter 47 - There's No Shame In Looking Back, But Things Don't Change

Amber's POV

I woke up with a groan as I slowly regained consciousness. First off, I was in a bed, which considering that I haven't managed to get myself into a bed for the last few days was pretty weird. What was weirder was that I was in my room in the main house. Usually, I stayed out in my cabin.

Honestly, I didn't care to actually follow through with those thoughts, because I really just didn't give a damn.

My main focus was the back of my head. I grabbed the back of my head in pain. Finding that I had managed to hit my head last night, if the lump on the back of my skull was anything to go by.

I threw myself back onto my pillow face down with a loud groan. I really felt like shit. I wish it was only from my extended drinking, but this was more than just physical exhaustion, this was mental fatigue.

I stayed face down in my pillow for a few more minutes before I grabbed my cell and fired off my check-in texts with Mike, Kat, and work.

Staring at the ceiling for another few minutes I moan and groan as I get up and get ready.

As I pass the kitchen on my way out, a container of blueberry muffins catches my eye that I don't remember unpacking from my grocery excursion last night. I shrug to myself as I also grab a gallon of water from the fridge as I make my way out to the lake for my morning swim.

I manage to finish all four muffins and about half the gallon by the time that I make it out to my cabin.

I stretch out my body a bit before I swan dive into the lake.

And let me tell you the lake was freezing!

It felt refreshing, cold as hell, but refreshing none the less.

After my swim I knocked out some pull ups, push ups, and some mild ab work. When I finished with that I went to work on the gazebo.

I didn't have a lot left to do since I had been working on it for over 3 days now. If I spent more than about 3 hours a day on it, I would have finished by now. It only needed a few finishing touches, so I'll probably be done in a few hours at the most.

I needed the distraction that building this gazebo has provided, but it can't hold my attention past a few hours a day, then my thoughts become too much and then I go drown my sorrows.

I honestly haven't been paying attention to the days. I didn't care what was going on or what day it was, the only thing that I wanted to focus on was working.

Working and accomplishing something is a blessing. Working with your bare hands trying to create something is so freeing.

Being able to fully focus on a task so heavily that the only thoughts that you had were of what was right in front of you is what I whole hearted needed. I needed to get out of my head plain and simple.

That was going to be the only way that I was going to be able to pull myself out of this darkness that I feel so consumed by...or at least that's the best that I could hope for.

Rosalie's POV

I still couldn't believe that while I was heartbroken, Amber was completely fine.

How could our love had meant so little to her...how could I have meant so little to her.

Amber just walked away. Well, more like ran away while I on the other hand had been submerged into a pit of despair.

When Amber left she not only took a piece of my heart with her, but also any chance of having a soulmate with it.

How could I have been so blinded to the truth. I always knew that I was unlovable, too tainted. How could anyone want damaged goods?

I now knew that it was over and done, completely and irrevocably.

That acceptance and knowledge did nothing to stop the longing.

My heart and soul still felt like it was reaching out and tugging me towards Amber.

I don't know why I am still having these feelings when it has become so obvious that Amber was nothing more than a mistake. No matter what my heart tried to tell me otherwise.

I am vaguely aware of my family trying to reach me as I can only stare blank out at the window. I am so devastated that I don't have the mental capacity to actually acknowledge them or even find the strength to look at them. So, I continue to stay locked in my head as I stare blankly out the window.

Unknown Vampire Couple Taking Care Of Amber POV

It's heartbreaking to witness this human struggling to hold on as it becomes so painfully obvious that she is falling apart at the seams.

My mate and I fall into step in a unified front through an innate understanding that this human is ours to take care of.

We were at a loss about how to help when it was clear that our human was not fond of vampires.

I wanted to tear apart whoever dared to hurt this human that instantly became my sister after one look and my darling wife of a mate wanted to wrap her up in her arms and hold her close. As if she could fix all of the brokenness by holding on and squeezing until all of the shattered pieces came together and were able to knit themselves back together again.

We had been observing our human for a few days before we approached her last night. Thankfully she didn't seem to have hurt herself too seriously when she hit her head.

We've been watching as our human worked until we thought she might collapse and then proceeded to drink until she actually did collapse.

My mate decided to start leaving food out in random places in hopes that they would tantalize the human enough to actually eat more than the meager scraps that she seemed to be living off of.

We weren't sure what had caused this type of heartache, but we promised to be the light that brought her back home from the raging storm that she seemed to be caught in.

Amber's POV

With the gazebo done I decided to go try and take a 20 minute power nap out at my cabin.

Once I woke up, I realized that with the gazebo done I had nothing left to focus on and the overwhelming thoughts and feelings that working kept at bay came flooding back.

I made my way back to the house to start my days drinking early.

I went to grab a vodka bottle from the freezer when a container that I don't remember seeing before catches my eye.

Apparently, it was a lasagna if the writing on it was anything to go by.

The only thing that I could think of was that it was put in there by someone after my Grandparent's funeral. Not sure how it wasn't eaten already by either myself or when Mike and Kat had stayed on after the funeral I wasn't sure.

After placing the vodka bottle on the counter I set about setting the oven up to cook it per the instructions written on the top of the container.

I didn't exactly feel like eating, but knowing that my sparce eating will catch up to me if I don't at least attempt to eat something, I made the responsible decision to try and eat something substantial.

As I sit out on the back porch with my drink I can't stop my thoughts as they go a million miles an hour with thoughts ranging from Sweden, my heartache, to what now and everything inbetween.

With the gazebo done I didn't have anything to keep my attention. I already knew that I was losing focus.

Not to mention things just seemed off. I mean things weren't right by any stretch of the imagination. My whole world was off its axis.

This off-ness was more like when things just aren't right and you would swear that someone was trying to make you feel like you were losing your mind by moving your keys from where you hung them up or drinking your glass so there's a bunch of it missing so you feel like you're losing your mind.

It was little things, like the muffins from this morning. I didn't remember unpacking my groceries from last night or how I ended up back in bed.

I could have just chalked those up to coincidence or just forgot about it, but when I woke up from a short nap on my cabins couch after I finished the gazebo I realized that I was covered with a blanket.

Now if the blanket was on the back of the couch, I might have been able to make a far fetched attempt at concluding that I must have pulled it down and covered myself in my sleep, but this blanket was on the arm chair across from the couch.

Not exactly easy to do unless I was sleep walking, which I don't do.

I couldn't explain it but I knew there was something that I was missing I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Hearing the timer going off in the kitchen I knew that my food was done so I slowly make my way into the kitchen.

I must have not been paying enough attention and I burned my forearm when I was getting the lasagna out of the oven. I hiss in pain and annoyance as I drop it onto the counter.

I can already tell that the burn was pretty bad, most likely a second degree burn.

My eyes are closed as my other hand is clamped over the burn as I'm trying to breathe through the pain. So, I was not aware that I was no longer alone in my kitchen.

I did became immediately aware when my hand was pushed away and an inhumanity cold hand was put in its place.

My eyes snap open and I'm met with an intensely red pair of eyes. I'm unable to do a damn thing except stand there like an idiot with my mouth slightly open.

No one would ever compare to Rosalie, but the creature before me was a vision. A vision I wasn't sure I was actually seeing.

The vision in question merely smiled at me.

Besides Rosalie, I have never automatically felt such a connection with someone. The walls that I have are high and it takes time for people to get through them. This woman though seemed to walk straight through them and straight to my soul. It was almost identical to Rosalie except I didn't feel attraction, I felt...safe. Safe in a way that I don't think I ever felt before.

I somehow managed to ask, "Who are you?"

The woman wasn't the one to answer though.

I was answered by a man walking into the kitchen carrying a first aid kit.

"That's Charlotte, my wife, and I'm Peter...your brother."