Chapter 48 - Would I Be Happier If I Just Let Her Go?
Peter's POV
I finish putting away the grill and the last of the dishes before I turn off the lights and made my way outside.
I take a deep breath, one I obviously don't need, as I look around the back yard.
With my advanced senses I can hear Amber's slow heartbeat at the cabin.
I already know that where Amber is that is where I will find Charlotte.
I slowly make my way to the 2 most important people in my life as my thoughts race.
It's been almost 3 weeks since that night in the kitchen and it has been nothing short of a whirlwind since then.
Amber seemed to take the news of having a vampire brother a lot better than I ever thought possible.
Well, that is after the shock wore off of course.
I was in turn stunned to find out that Amber already knew about vampires. Which cut most of the conversation down.
I still don't know how I feel about Amber dating a vampire. I respected my sister's desire to not talk more in depth besides the basics of her recent breakup.
Especially given how much agony the said breakup was causing my dear sister.
I'll be honest and admit freely that I had a hell of a time trying to reining in my inner vampire. Amber could put on a brave face all she wants, but Charlotte and I can see the truth. The truth that my little sister was hurting far more than she let on.
I've been fighting my instincts because, all I want to do is hunt down this mysterious vampire who has obviously devastated my little sister.
I know once this wound isn't so fresh that Amber will be able to talk more about who this vampire was and the particulars about why they broke up. I just hope that it isn't a vampire that I know, because as of right now I want to tear them limb from limb.
Since it was a vampire I already know with almost certainty that the reason for the break up was that Amber wasn't their mate. It's the only logical conclusion.
It gives me some comfort to know that Amber is finding comfort through our family bond.
That comfort was confusing to Amber until I explained to her the family bond that we shared. We we blindsided by the emotional and physical reaction that it caused. After explaining that we were and forever will be family and all that entails caused Amber to almost completely shattered right before our eyes.
We were devastated to hear the 'highlights' from Amber's past. I still feel so guilty. If only I would have found Amber sooner I could have spared her so much pain.
We clung to each other as we both mourned a life that could have been.
Amber has reassured me that what's done is done and if she had any other life then she wouldn't have had her grandparents or Cody and that made the horror worth it in a lot of ways.
Regardless, I am here now and I'm never leaving.
I lean on one of the columns as I watch as Charlotte cards her hand through Amber's hair as she slept with her head on my mate's lap.
You would think that I would feel threatened by anyone that was snuggled up with my mate, but I only felt content at seeing the peaceful looks on the two beings in the whole world that held my heart.
Maybe the family bond made me recognize Amber as a non threat.
I'm broken out of my thoughts by Charlotte's soft but serious voice.
"I know what you're thinking about and nothing could ever happen. I would never cheat on you, but I can't help being pulled to Amber. I can't describe it." Charlotte looks down tenderly at Amber then her gaze turns towards me. I'm held in place by such an intense look by my mate with nothing short of full love and devotion in her eyes as she says, "I know that you can feel it too. The unexplained primal urge that Amber seems to bring out in me...in us."
I smile as I make my way over to my mate. I give her a soft loving look as I kneeled down and give her a soft lingering kiss.
"I know. We're mates, I don't feel threatened by your love for Amber. I like how much you care for my sister. She deserves all the love she can get in this life." I hesitate before I continue by saying, "I get the feeling that a lot of it has to do with the fact that Amber's heart is so broken right now. Your inner vampire can recognize something inside of Amber that calls out to you. I would imagine it's the same pull that Amber feels towards you." I let that sink in before I continue by saying.
"That something I have a feeling is the mating bond." I hold up my hand to stop the denial and protesting that I knew was coming.
"I know that it's not a mating bond. What I'm saying is, because we are mated and with Amber and myself sharing a close family bond that your inner vampire recognizes and has become very attached to Amber. I would presume that Amber's fragile emotional state pays a big part in that. So it makes sense that you would become so attached. It would stand to reason that once your inner vampire feels like Amber has 'healed' enough that these urges will become less intense. Time will tell if you'll have possessive and territorial tendencies like a true mating bond."
This has been a topic of concern for the two of us since we first laid eyes on Amber.
I know that these feelings that my mate has been holding for my sister have been the driving force for her 'smothering with love' tendencies that she's been displaying. It was a big part of the reason that Charlotte started leaving food for Amber to find and tidying up around the house the few weeks before we officially introduced ourselves. Charlotte wanting to care for Amber in Abby way that she could, even if Amber didn't know who was behind it. I can't help the smile that starts to break out on my face as I think over all the sweet loving things my love has done to try and make my little sister feel as loved and included as possible.
As Charlotte and I share a long loving look Amber's voice breaks us out of our trance.
"I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship Peter. I hope you know that."
I give a crooked smile to my little sister as I place my hand on top of Amber's head. "I know that little sister. Don't ever be afraid to freely be yourself. We're family, the three of us and it's perfectly normal to let yourself be consumed by that love. And nothing makes me happier than to see the two most important people in my life safe, happy, loved and content. It only makes sense that the three of us would feel and share a deep connection."
I was startled by the sudden movement of Amber launching herself at me in a fierce hug attack.
It saddened me because Amber almost desperate level of clinging to me proved that even with all of our reassurances Amber still had emotional trauma that had yet to be healed.
I know that it's unreasonable to think that a few weeks and some affirming words and conversations could reverse years a few years of trauma and abandonment, but I wished and hoped upon everything in me that it could.
The three of us settle into the couch as we decide to watch a movie.
Ferris Bueller just started a dancing flash mob when we can see the light turn on at the main house.
Charlotte and I immediately go into a protective crouch in front of Amber.
Amber puts her hand on my shoulder and says, "It's ok. I'm pretty sure it's Mike.
Mike's POV
Why is it always us?
That has been a reoccurring question that I've asked myself over and over so many times over the years that I've lost count.
Everytime Amber and I find ourselves in a bind or in a situation that out of all the chances in the world we would usually end up pulling the wild card.
Amber says that's just part of our charm. I have to admit that it has kept life interesting.
How else would we have such great memories and stories.
I mean not many people could say that they have played chicken with a tank, right?
This by far though I think beats all of our shenanigans. Who could have ever guessed that vampires were real. Not only are they real but one is Amber's brother.
I'm not going to lie. I was jealous over Peter making that claim. It seems childish to admit, but Amber is my sister and I didn't like that he thought he could walk right into Amber's life and try and take my place. A place that I had earned and forged through blood, sweat, and tears.
It didn't take long for me to realize the similarities and traits of a vampire to understand that the Cullen's were vampires.
I would have been upset with Amber keeping something that massive underwraps if it wasn't for the fact that the supernatural laws regarding secrecy. Amber and I shared a look that let me know not only was she sorry for not clueing me in, but that we would talk later privately. Our unspoken conversation was understood. There was aspects that Amber wasn't ready to talk about yet and like always I would have her back and take her lead.
After the shock wore off and I was able to talk through everything with the vampires, Charlotte and Peter, and Amber I realized that the only thing that's changed is that I have gained a brother and sister as well.
According to Peter, Amber's bond to me is so strong that he can recognize it and, in a way, has formed a sibling family bond with me as well.
Though it may not be as strong as the one he shares with Amber it's strong enough to make us all a family.
I have to say, I have really taken to the idea. Peter, Amber, and I have become the three musketeers.
Not unlike the old days when Clay was still alive. It's hard to admit, but this might even be stronger than the friendship that we shared with Clay.
Looking over at Amber and seeing the serene look on her face that is usually so hard for her to find I know that she feels the same way.
I'm feel guilty for shattering this easy groove that we've found ourselves in, but I know that I need to bring up the reasons why I'm here.
Amber's POV
Mike's arrival brought a new dimension to the tranquility and fun that we've found ourselves in over the last few weeks.
It has been amazing to have what I'm starting to feel like is my full family all together. All that's missing is Kat.
No matter how much I've loved this new family dynamic that we've all found ourselves in, I still can't help but feel heartbroken. In a way I'm in mourning. Mourning over lost love, but mourning a loss of what I thought my future was going to be.
I should have known that the real world and it's problems would eventually come barging into our bubble.
And when I say that my happiness bubble was popped, what I really mean is that it was shattered into a million pieces. Those million little shards were then collected and burned to ashes.
I shouldn't have been surprised. Rosalie said that we were over and she obviously meant it and is already moving on.
That doesn't mean that hearing it straight from my brother's mouth didn't make it hurt any less.
-Mike's Flashback-
I couldn't stand this anymore. I had to do something. Which is why I was in my truck on my way to Rosalie's apartment.
I had no idea what I was going to say once I got there, but that didn't deter me from my mission.
Answers needed to be given, because this limbo that we had all found ourselves in needed to be over. Decisions needed to be made and they needed to be made sooner rather than later.
After knocking on the door for over 3 minutes I had to accept that Rosalie wasn't home.
With no other choice I headed back downstairs to the lobby. In a last-ditch effort I tried asking the security guard at the desk if they knew where Rose might be.
This would have been so much easier to find the Cullens if they didn't all change their phone numbers. They definitely didn't want to be found. It was bad enough that Carlisle had taken a sabbatical a few days after Amber and I had run into Rosalie and her siblings a few weeks back. He and his family must have either left or moved, because their house was deserted, so this was my only hope.
"Excuse me Sir, you wouldn't happen to know where Rosalie Hale is, would you?" I asked the day security guard. I just hoped that this guard would be friendlier that Rosalies building's night guard.
"I'm sorry Sir, but I can not give out private information about any tenants." Was the guards immediate reply.
"I understand that, but it is urgent that I find her. Any hint that you could give me would be helpful and appreciated." I nearly begged.
The guard must have sensed my desperation and took pitty on me. "I can only say that I overheard a discussion about a local breakfast spot." Was his only reply before he went back to reading his paperwork at his desk.
I thanked him profusely before bolting out the door. I jumped into my truck and sped down the road to the only possible breakfast spot that Rosalie could be at.
I can't say that I wasn't happy that the security guard gave me the information that I needed, but I wished that he took his job more seriously. Especially given the fact that a random man was looking for a woman and wanting to know where she was. If I had ill intentions then that would put people in danger.
It didn't take long for me to arrive at the only breakfast spot within walking distance. I parked my truck across the street with a perfect view of the outdoor seating area and that's where I found Rosalie.
I sat frozen in my seat when I realized that Rosalie wasn't alone. Not only wasn't she alone, but as I realized that I was seeing the true end of any hope of Amber and Rose reconciling.
My heart broke for my sister as I saw the love of her life cuddle up with someone else.
I stayed rooted in my seat for a few more minutes until i couldn't take the tender loving touches and the soft loving looks a second longer.
I started my truck up and sped off not knowing how I'll be able to tell Amber that her heart would remain broken.
The only thing I did know was that I would have to tell her even though it would break both of our hearts to do so.
-End Of Mike's Flashback-
After Mike shared his story of what is being referred to as 'the breakfast heartache,' things became pretty awkward.
Why were they awkward you ask? Well it turns out that my new brother has ties to the Cullen family. To say that didn't bring up a long list of problems and concerns would be an understatement.
I still had a hard time fully understanding what that actually meant. It was disheartening to hear how Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte all fought together in the Vampire Wars in the South.
Tale after tale of all of their escapades just brought more and more despair with each new story.
Mike and I had exchanged a few glances throughout the long..long history that the three of them shared. Mike and I knew what this meant.
Beyond friendship, beyond blood, their relationship has been forged into something unexplainable and beyond reason.
Mike and I knew of this type of friendship, just like most people who serve together, we had shared the same bond with Clay. We also shared different degrees of this with the numerous people that we had served with throughout our careers.
I had to accept the inevitable. The fact that again I wasn't going to be someone's choice.
It was a reoccurring theme. I was just undeserving of love. It was a good thing that I didn't put all of my hopes into having found this new brother.
I zone back in to hear the ending of Charlotte explaining how in World War 2 she had to help hide the fact that Peter and Jasper couldn't be injured.
I thought it was admirable that when the World Wars broke out all three of them jumped at the opportunity to be of service and fight for their county.
Charlotte by becoming a nurse and Peter and Jasper jumping into battle.
Though most of the time the three of them stayed hidden and collected the wounded, from both sides and relocated them closer to their own side's aid stations. They saved so many lives and Mike and I were in pure awe over their inspiring stories.
As I was listening to Peter and Charlotte I couldn't help but running through what all of this meant.
They would leave at some point and meet up with Jasper and where would that leave us? Where would that leave me?...Alone, again. That's where.
I couldn't let the Cullens know how broken they left me. I refuse to be pitied. They have all moved on, most importantly Rosalie had obviously moved on, and now so must I.
Jason Aldean's song 'The Truth' chorus ran through my head,
Just don't tell 'em I've gone crazy
That I'm still strung out over you
Tell 'em anything you want to
Just don't tell 'em all the truth
What hurt the most is what I already know. I have to swallow this pain, just like all of the other times in my life when it feels like my world is falling apart.
After steeling myself I found my voice during a break point in the discussion and storytelling to say, "Well I would appreciate that when you both meet up with Jasper that you leave any updates regarding Mike and I to yourselves."
Peter and Charlotte's shocked looks were kinda unsettling. After a few seconds of them opening and shutting their mouths I realized that they weren't going to say anything. So with a gentle slap to both of my knees as I get up I say, "Well I'm going to head on to bed. Goodnight."
I don't make it more than 5 steps before the 2 vampires blur right infront of my path.
Peter's strong but gentle voice says, "We're not going anywhere. Jasper may be my friend, but you are my sister. Nothing will ever take me away from you."
I break the intense gaze with my brother when Charlotte gentle cradles my jaw with the palm of her hand. She waits until I lock eyes with hers before she says with just as much conviction as Peter, "Jasper may be our past, but you are our future. We love you Amber. You are our family and no one or anything will ever change that."
Peters hand comes up to cup my other cheek as he and Charlotte brush away the tears that had started to fall from my eyes as I realized that I wasn't going to lose another person. That I wasn't going to be tossed aside. I had found a family and that family wanted me in return. With those thoughts I threw myself into their arms.
Mike gave us a minute or two before he couldn't contain himself any longer and leap into our family hug. In their arms I finally felt like everything was going to be alright.
I could do this. With Mike, Kat, Peter, and Charlotte by my side I could find a new life, maybe one with a little less brightness. But never the less one with happiness in a world without Rosalie.
I knew that I couldn't hide my pain from them, but I know that the depth of my heartache was something only I would ever truly know.
It's always been expected of me, to be the strong one. Mostly I've never wanted to burden people with my problems, but mainly it's because people have needed me to be strong. To keep a level head to know what to do. I've always had to be strong. Thankfulky I was given strong enough shoulders to carry the weight. Though in truth, I don't think it was always about the strength, it was always about the necessity.
I needed to be strong, so I was. I never had any other choice except forward.
I've heard that you never know how strong you truly are until being strong is your only choice.
If you think about it, the quote hits the mark.
Time. Time is what I needed. And as I looked around to Mike, Peter, and Charlotte I knew that the pain and heartache would be easier and easier to carry everyday. It's their love that will guide me out of this darkness.
On our way back to the main house Mike's words broke our bubble that we seemed to have found ourselves in.
"So, I have to talk to you Amb. It's actually why I'm here."
- Line Break -
Mike's POV
After walking back to the main house we all settled into the living room.
And then I went into explaining everything that our Comander had told me.
It was a very nice set up when you think about it.
Amber and I both have our enlistment coming up. We had plans to re-enlist and do at least a full 20 together. That was before Rosalie happened. I know that Amber was going to decline and get out of the military and start a life with Rosalie. At least if that was what Rosalie had wanted.
With their break-up everything is up in the air. I know that with finding her brother Amber still might decide to get out and find out what the future holds for her new family.
And honestly? I'm tempted to get out myself and have us create a new chapter for ourselves.
Regardless of if we both re-enlist or not our Comander wants us to take an assignment.
We would be sent to Shaw Air Force Base in South Carolina for about a month. After that both of us would have to decide if we would re-enlist or we would leave the military.
It was very kind of our command to let us have one last assignment together, because even if we re-enlisted together it's not a guarantee that when we would get our new assignment that we would be stationed together at the same place.
Here's to hoping though.